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The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
Replies
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Wow, Foo Foo! You are really strong to stay sober in the midst of heavy drinking like that. Great job!! I just received a birthday gift of 3 beautiful bottles of wine from the winery of my brother- and sister-in-law (The winery they bought after she and I went to Italy, she came back and quit her job and embarked on a new life). I was on my way out the door to a hair appointment and had forgotten to get my awesome hairdresser a Christmas gift. Guess what he got? (Only one of them). Sigh. I'm sure they are delicious, and they don't know about my "new" sobriety. I can't tell them now. I feel like I would sound so ungrateful. I'll tell them eventually, of course, but for now I can thank them for their amazing wines and even say I am enjoying them I guess (I'm enjoying gifting them to people I know can enjoy them without going crazy).
My 2 week vacation from school starts today. I'm looking forward to finding lots of AF ways to enjoy the holidays. Have a good weekend, everyone!
Oh, @RubyRed427, your days have added up VERY nicely! Congratulations!!!!6 -
FeelinFooFoo wrote: »RubyRed427 wrote: »FeelinFooFoo wrote: »Now I can hear someone being sick in the bathroom. Seriously? They've stayed up ALL night drinking. They did buy a LOT of booze. Sad thing is, usually that would have been me.....
No thanks. I am done living that way.
I was worried when I heard your brother was drinking too. I have a soft spot for him being so young. Was he the one sick?
Hooray! No hangover and you still had fun.
Yep Ruby he was the one I could hear intensely vomiting down the toilet. It woke me up. Felt really weird that it wasn't me. It hit me like a ton of bricks to realise that I used to put myself & my body through that.
Not nice. The memories of it feel really demoralizing when I think of all the occasions I stuck my head down the loo puking my guts up. It's just horrible. But I don't plan to do that again !!
That was me many many times. Sometime even trying to desperately hide my vomiting so the house would not hear me and my shame.
I have so many memories of those times. That is ONE of my biggest motivators. Not to get sick from alcohol. So far in this new house (6 months), I have a perfect streak.6 -
Wow, Foo Foo! You are really strong to stay sober in the midst of heavy drinking like that. Great job!! I just received a birthday gift of 3 beautiful bottles of wine from the winery of my brother- and sister-in-law (The winery they bought after she and I went to Italy, she came back and quit her job and embarked on a new life). I was on my way out the door to a hair appointment and had forgotten to get my awesome hairdresser a Christmas gift. Guess what he got? (Only one of them). Sigh. I'm sure they are delicious, and they don't know about my "new" sobriety. I can't tell them now. I feel like I would sound so ungrateful. I'll tell them eventually, of course, but for now I can thank them for their amazing wines and even say I am enjoying them I guess (I'm enjoying gifting them to people I know can enjoy them without going crazy).
My 2 week vacation from school starts today. I'm looking forward to finding lots of AF ways to enjoy the holidays. Have a good weekend, everyone!
Oh, @RubyRed427, your days have added up VERY nicely! Congratulations!!!!
That kinda stinks that they open a winery when you are now sober. But that's life. I'm curious- do either of them have problems drinking.
I once fantasize about opening a wine bar but it would be more for me than my customers LOL.
We are both on winter break. We both woke up hangover free. I'm proud of all of us. It isn't easy but it sure is worth it.
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For anyone out there struggling at day 1 again and maybe again. Please stick with it. Hang in there! It took many of us a year(s) to finally get sober and make it stick.
It's an ongoing fight to keep sober, but it is worth it. One day at a time really works.
*I am one day away from breaking my sobriety but if that happens, I will get right back on the sober train.
Let us know if you need help; we have all read a lot and learned so much trying to stay sober.
Hugs to all of you for trying!
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hope everyone has a good day! It's been a bit rough, had a slip up, but i'm sticking with it! I've been walking daily and attempting to get back into running (SLOWLY lol) been listening to the podcast "Love Sober". I've been drinking LOTS of tea, a new tea store opened up nearby and the sweetest older lady runs it and I've been treating myself to stuff there instead of booze. going to visit her store I think tomorrow and maybe get a new antique tea cup and some more loose leaf tea.7
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RubyRed427 wrote: »Little by little making progress.
All that time I gained by not sitting on a bar stool after work or on Saturday. One Saturday I went to a bar after Target at 2:00 p.m. and stayed there til 8:00. I have zero limits - One drink is too many and 10 drinks not enough.
Now, I wish I saved that cash in a piggy bank or something.
"Great acts are made up of small deeds" and as you said, "little by little making progress." I'm with you on the "wishing" I had actually saved the money I stopped wasting by not drinking. To date $6,682.00...MAN oh MAN!!
I got an alert on my quit drinking app today to announce 4,000 drinks passed....4,000 is hard to wrap my mind around, but my liver is doing a little jig right about now
@FeelinFooFoo ~ SO proud of you!!! Your example may, in time, help the men in your life get free.
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@RubyRed427 My brother-in-law hardly drinks at all. SIL definitely enjoys her wine but I haven’t seen excess. They’re loving the life of wine producers and are even winning some nice awards and reviews. You’re right. Kind of a bummer that I can’t really get into it with them.
Day 168 tomorrow. 24 weeks. Selfie time (every 6 weeks).7 -
@donimfp I think you did the right thing by thanking them graciously then re gifting the wine. They need not know about that. At another time, you can mention that you are exploring sobriety.5
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For anyone who likes to write about their goals. Here is a paper from Smart Recovery toolbox. It can be applied to any goal you want to reach. I'm going to fill it out for weight loss.
https://smartrecovery.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/Change_Plan_Worksheet.pdf?_ga=2.154615483.281259230.1608561786-742445898.16085617862 -
Here is another worksheet on values- what you find most important in your life. After you fill it in, read the next page. It is a good one.
https://smartrecovery.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/HOV.pdf?_ga=2.43884198.281259230.1608561786-742445898.16085617862 -
Today is 107 AF days for me. My sister is at nearly 300. She's the one who nearly died of asyphixation after choking on her vomit. She passed out. Sorry to be so blunt. IT's gross but it happens.
It is getting much much easier being AF. Now, I dont even think I should get some wine. I just dont. I am not saying the wolf won't get me one day but this week is a good week.
I am going Wed. to a local bar (my old hangout) for a friend's birthday. Anyway, I will order an AF beer there so I have something to hold. I am not worried I'll drink.
Wishing all a great Day!
For anyone tempted to drink, my sponsor says "think through the drink before taking it." If I drink, I will overdo it, I will embarrass myself and ruin my goal, I may drunk text someone, I may get sick and ruin tomorrow.....5 -
I started watching The Queen's Gambit yesterday. I've only watched 2 episodes, but I'm really liking it. I never really think of myself as an "addict." I've chosen not to identify myself as "alcoholic." I'm not sure why. It just doesn't help my journey to think in those terms. But I totally understand that when it comes to alcohol, I'm addicted. Duh. It's an addictive substance. But the term "addict" isn't in my consciousness usually. However . . . for anyone who's watched that show . . . when Beth is deprived of her pills and becomes pretty much unable to function and will do pretty much anything to get more, I could totally relate to that! I've felt that way. That's me. Wow. I need to remember that.8
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I know. Find it hard to label myself alcoholic. Am I. Idk. I have an addiction to almost anything food. Smokes. When I smoked it was a pack a day easily. I was having a conversation with my daughter whose almost 21. I was saying how it would be nice to have champagne for xmas. Ever since I was young my grandmother would put champagne on the table for us kids at the holidays. I miss that. And my daughter piped up lets gets some mom. Shes never drank before. Do I not ever get any alcohol for my children because I have a problem? Maybe thats how it all started for me. A sip never hurt anyone shed say. It was a fluted wine glass. I was 6 lol. Laughing my as off at dinner. Who wouldn't miss it.4
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I understand what you're saying about labeling an alcoholic. I know I am one. But I am so much more than that label.
I dont think we need to label ourselves at all. We are non-drinkers. We choose not to drink. That's it.
As a teacher, once in awhile, a parent will use labels about their children in a conversation. I think that is so harmful and stigmatizing. He's always been lazy or he's the smart one .... negative labels stick and they hurt
No need to use any labels at all. Let's just say we are healthy nondrinkers!
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But even the term "non drinker" is a label.
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@donimfp Yes in the Queen's Gambit, she is addicted to those pills and other things. There is one specific example of when her addiction ruined something important. But I won't say more than that. It is a great show!
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I know this Christmas Eve with my parents and sister will be a sober one. There won't even be alcohol in the house or on the table. This happened at Thanksgiving and we still had a good time. In fact, I wasn't salivating or craving alcohol because there was none.6
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Aww Foo Foo I think you already are a unicorn. That’s a compliment by the way.
@RubyRed427 I agree that labels are probably counterproductive most of the time. Thanks for not revealing spoilers in the Queen’s Gambit. I didn’t have a chance to move beyond episode 2 today.4 -
FeelinFooFoo wrote: »Aww Foo Foo I think you already are a unicorn. That’s a compliment by the way.
@RubyRed427 I agree that labels are probably counterproductive most of the time. Thanks for not revealing spoilers in the Queen’s Gambit. I didn’t have a chance to move beyond episode 2 today.
Awwwww 🤗🦄
Did u get my friend request on here? I dunno if MFP is playing up again. I will send it again in case you didn't get it. (If your not adding then that's fine too)
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FeelinFooFoo wrote: »RubyRed427 wrote: »@FeelinFooFoo 60 days!!! Wow - and you are close to wining that bet with your brother!!
Hmmm. What can I spend £50 on lemme think 🤔
60 days of giving my liver & other organs a well deserved break from processing toxins. Now that makes me feel like a millions bucks $$$
A massage, pedicure, bracelets, new wallet to hold your winnings....4 -
Gotta admit with this Covid thing, the holiday is a little boring. I'm used to happy hours with friends, shopping a lot at the mall, etc. I have to keep my attitude positive though or I get mired in "woe is me" thinking when I have so much to be grateful for.6
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Hi Everyone! @RubyRed427 I don't even have much of a social life normally, but it's more that BC (Before Covid), I had the choice to see if friends would be up for a get-together. I'm trying to focus on creativity and being with myself. Because that's who I'm with 24x7. Also trying to do some soul searching work that would be easy to distract myself from otherwise. I did find a therapist who's a good fit. She reinforced what y'all have said here. For someone who has had a bad relationship with alcohol, moderating is next to impossible for biological reasons for most.
@FeelinFooFoo I agree w/ @donimfp - You are a beautiful magical unicorn! So proud of you!
AF since Thanksgiving and no plans to resume. Christmas will be interesting.6 -
@Mainelylisa good for you! Yes, the holidays are a new AF adventure for many of us. I figure if we can get sober in 2020 plus navigate Christmas we need to pat ourselves on the back.
Yeah, the impossibility of unpickling the cucumber is a bummer but as Byron Katie says, Whenever I argue with reality I lose, but only 100% of the time.
It has been eye opening to me to be in Kate Bee’s Sober School group for graduates and to hear people say things like they were AF for 6 years or so and then thought they could surely handle one drink to celebrate something and then soon found themselves out of control once again. Their cautionary tales are helping me avoid testing that boundary for myself.
We can do this!7 -
OK. Y'all won't believe this. And I'm kind of embarrassed to post this. But I need to. So . . . tonight I was sitting in bed reading a new cookbook I got. My husband came in and sat by me and was reading our monthly Texas Highways magazine, which arrived today. The cookbook ended, of course, with a whole "cocktails" section. They looked really good. I turned to my husband and said, "Would you please fix me a vodka and Perrier?" He looked surprised but said, "Of course I will if that's what you want. Are you sure that's what you want?" I said yes, but no hurry. He looked back at the magazine and said, "Hey, this article is about those things you've bought--Kin Euphorics." (Those are nonalcoholic cocktails I've bought a few times--the ones with adaptogens like the Curious Elixirs--which I like better). I looked over and saw a photo of a tattooed bartender and the article title "Toppling the Tipple." I said, "Why is that in Texas Highways? What does nonalcoholic drinks have to do with Texas???" He said, "The writer is saying she visited a bar in Ft. Worth and one in Austin where they are serving nonalcoholic drinks. She says she hasn't been drinking for 10 years but found herself in a new kind of bar." I said, "What's the writer's name?" He said "Sarah Hepola." She was the author of Blackout , one of the quit lit memoirs I read. Since then, I've noticed her byline a couple of times in Texas Highways. She is a writer after all, and from Texas, so I guess she has become a contributor to that magazine.
Anyway, I grabbed the magazine from him and said, "Never mind. I don't want a vodka. This is a miracle from God." He laughed but I really wasn't kidding. I was actually going to drink a vodka on day 170. I saw those recipes and thought, "I can handle one drink." Then God put this article in my face. That is SO bizarre.
So . . . I asked him to make me a "tequila sunrise" instead--POM juice, orange juice, a little Perrier, and a splash of Ritual Zero non-alcoholic tequila--a drink I've been enjoying. While he was making it, I read the short article. She talked about being sober for 10 years and being glad that there are finally these options, with entrepreneurs realizing there is now a huge, growing sober market. She mentioned that "Shirley Temples" used to be the only option and mentioned a really good NA cocktail she had in a Houston bar--cocktail named "Don't Call Me Shirley."
Anyway, I'm sipping my lovely drink. I swear that if that hadn't happened I would now be drinking alcohol. That scares me. I'm just an impulse away from drinking and hadn't really realized that. I really do think there was some divine intervention going on. Anyway, just had to share. Dodged a bullet. God sent me a message from Sarah Hepola, one of our peeps.
Good night all. Sorry for the long post.12 -
Thanks, FooFoo. That’s really interesting that the UK takes such a hard-line stance about alcohol free alternatives. I wonder what the rationale is.5
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@donimfp excellent story- so happy you had that God-wink moment - So happy for you.
Tonight I was talking myself into having just one wine - just one. I said I’ll just get a wine spritzer .... so when I arrived at the restaurant I ordered a club soda with lime. I thought the drink through. I figured tomorrow Christmas Eve would have been day 1 and I would have been jittery and anxious and ruined the holiday.
I came home early and my friends went to drink some more - my one friend even said “come with us - you don’t have to drink”. I said nah it’s not as fun ....
I came home kinda sad and kinda proud all at the same time. But ultimately no regrets6 -
My husband and I are contemplating moving to a 55 plus age community. They have a huge clubhouse and when it's non covid, I expect a lively social scene. The realtor said, "oh these people love to party. Thirtsy Thursdays, Happy Hour Fridays etc." This is definitely weighing on me. I do want to be in an active community....I have been unhappy where we currently have been for 2.5 years. The people are just not so friendly. One good thing about moving though would be I would just come in as a non drinker....no one need know about my past with wine. Plus I am sure there would be other like minded people. I'll have to join the knitting club or something where you need to concentrate. We will see. Merry Christmas, Friends.7
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i actually don’t mind much being around my friends when they are drinking. lets me be more of my natural goofball self, without them wondering why i’m being such a goofball.6
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