The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living

mtngrl3 wrote: »

I blew it, bad. but today is a new day. I went on a binge and realized what I was doing and how bad I felt, how embarassing, etc. today is a new day, 1 hr,day at a time.

With each experience, we learn and grow, and it really gives us good perspective. We know we dont want to live like that. I have had dozens of day 1. I have felt such despair especially lying in the dark in the middle of the night. So, we know how you are feeling. Write down some thoughts about your binge , keep it somewhere private, and reread it once in awhile. I reread some short online journal entries from July 2019 and OMG I forgot about some of those dreadful, dangerous moments where I drank 7 cocktails in an evening. So, perhaps some journaling this weekend could be therapeutic.

Yeah @RubyRed427, I’ve flirted with “a little “ too. I am in so much pain right now. A little isn’t worth it. And I have no idea how that once-a-year drinker Foo Foo describes finds that helpful. I don’t ever want to experience this again.

I, too, have thoughts of traveling alone. But even if I could convince DH I'd be fine, I would also want to drink "a little." In Ireland. Bahahaha. And then I get mad, because this issue is causing me to miss adventures (well, when we can have adventures again) because I can't trust myself. Hoping I get to the point I can.

Oh, IMO, simply the BEST! Cheers to a healthy weekend!

Hi guys!!! Still here, still AF. I’ve dropped by and read, just haven’t posted in a while.

I have been dealing with my rocky marital issues that I posted about quite a while back. So far, I have remained strong and not drank. I have thought “one glass of wine would so take the edge off” but I know that one glass would lead to a whole bottle.

I have remained strong and for that I am proud. I am also proud of each and every one of you!!! This thread has been a lifesaver! Literally!!

I know many people worldwide have struggled with mental health issues during this bizarre pandemic. I've felt grateful that I used 2020 to get sober and lose weight. But Wednesday's events have really messed with my head. A lot. I'm not sure what to do, but I think extreme self care is called for. That's all. At least the weather is beautiful in my world today.

I have no way of verifying this, but I have a feeling that the extreme sadness I'm feeling about the week's events would not be so extreme if I hadn't put that poison into my system. I know extreme events can create extreme emotions, but I still think the alcohol (as we all know, a depressant) is making it worse. Not that I'm drinking, but I figure it will take a good week until it's really gone from my system. I guess a bright side of this is that I can add one more item to my "Things I Hated About Drinking" list.

@FeelinFooFoo and @mtngrl3, Hooray for both of you!!!! @mtngrl3, I'm not a sweets person, either, but in early sobriety, I came to LOVE dark chocolate and healthy hot chocolate. I still lost weight, so I figure it's a good, healthy trade-off.

Tried this today. It was far better than I was expecting. I will be enjoying this again in the near future.

@mainelylisa, I’m a Dateline junkie. Love Keith Morrison’s spooky voice. Nerd fun fact: he’s Matthew Perry’s stepfather. But I can’t imagine watching it in the middle of the night.

I fessed up to my next door neighbor and friend who was 7 years sober in December. She’s so compassionate and is making me a list of meditation resources that she’s found useful. I don’t know how anyone could possibly do this alone. I’m not happy to have relapsed but it has reminded me of what awesome support I’m lucky enough to have. This group at the top. Hey! It’s snowing in Texas! My Cleveland born husband sniffs that it’s not exactly “real” snow but I’ll take our beautiful half inch before it melts.

donimfp wrote: »

Yeah, unfortunately I don't think "they" are exaggerating the bleakness this time.

please forgive me if this isn’t what you need to hear, but i’m saying it just in case it is:

it sounds to me like you’re passing responsibility for your failure onto someone else. those kittenheads who stormed the castle didn’t pour alcohol down your throat. you did. own it as yours; don’t try and justify it to yourself because the world sucks. the world has always sucked and will always suck. you have to let your perception be your reality, and if your perception is “woe is the world, guess i’ll have a drink”, guess what’s going to happen?

you kittened up. big deal. next time, get in here and let us know you’re on the verge of slipping. someone will listen and help you through it.

I only have a few things to say.

1.The word "love" is ironic in this context.
2. Call me crazy, but being "slapped around" is not what most of us, certainly not me, need right now (or ever).
3. Explaining under what circumstances I caved and drank (and which I have clearly blamed myself for) is in no way "justifying" drinking. Just to explain that I wasn't walking in a lovely field and suddenly decided to drink. I was witnessing an attack on our country such as I have certainly never seen in my 65 years.
4. If you read my posts, my struggle is with NOT blaming myself too much. Hardly the opposite.
5. Decrying the thugs that devastated a whole country is not "shifting responsibility" for my relapse.
5. The "loving" reminder that the thugs did not pour alcohol down my throat was beyond insulting. I in no way, shape, or form deserved that rebuke.
6. I've learned that anything that begins "forgive me if this . . ." is usually followed by something that is pretty unforgivable, just like "I mean no offense but . . . [I'm about to say something offensive]"
7. I'm kind of mad at myself for even responding and not just walking away, but I value this community too much to leave. And I've been up the whole damn night.
8. Words (and certainly tone) matter. We've clearly seen that this week.
9. I don't know how old you are, but the explanation that this is a tough world almost made me laugh.
10. Finally, and most importantly, I'm on day 191/3 thanks to the loving, compassionate response to my honest owning up to my very painful relapse. I hope others will not be reluctant to use this forum as a safe place to come, especially when you are feeling angry at yourself and vulnerable.