WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR OCTOBER 2023
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New to this thread/group. Almost 55 and back to MFP to lose the pounds I put on when I quit smoking in January. 5 more to go then into maintenance. Sometimes get super frustrated with how slow it is coming off, but know that is for the best.
meg in northwestern Michigan (lower peninsula)9 -
3843840
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Hello ladies!
Barbie thank you for the new thread!
Heather Happy birthday!
My mom is still in rehab. She isn't eating much, so she gets dizzy on standing. That has to change before she can come home. So now I need to bring her tasty food. I brought her watermelon and potato chips and a chocolate cake yesterday, but she didn't touch the cake. We have been visiting every day.
My sister is coming on Friday to help take my Dad to a funeral.
Last Friday my dad and I took Chinese takeout over to my aunt's. That was fun. My mom won't eat takeout, so it had been many years since I had eaten Chinese.
So my diet/exercise plan has fallen apart. I'm spending my spare time reading. And my clothes are getting tighter again. My dad wants me to sit down and eat with him after my eating window is over. He is driving me crazy. He lost one hearing aid at the YMCA on Friday.
Annie in Delaware
11 -
grandmallie wrote: »Happy October ya'll
Agoraphobia-Im wondering if I have some type of that after the divorce and the 2 heart surgeries my life has been kinda turned upside down
My ex MIL had it really bad and never went out ,had the curtains drawn and listened to church music..scared the heck out of my kids when they were younger..but she had severe mental issues as well.
I really have to get a handle on things and get myself back together .. one day at a time..and I will and I can..
You will get where you wish to be soon enough friend, and you have a solid head on your shoulders💖. I know for me its just easier to stay at home, because I know where my parameters are. The thing is its not a framework that's permanent. Its just a line in the sand, and my tides can change, the weather may change, and most important, I can change. Just adapt to it all. I try to do one or two things outside of my comfort zone every week. I know I am genuinely happy at this home here, even with all the things I miss about our past place on the Oregon coast. I appreciate the quiet in my life. Hugs!
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa5 -
Happy Biiirrrthdaaaaay tooooo youuuuu! (I am singing in my opera voice here) Haaaappy Biiiirthdaaaaay deear Heather, Haaaappy Biirthdaaay Too ooo ooo Youuuuuu!💖🎂💖. Have the best of birthdays friend!
Rebecca
Whidbey
Wa
8 -
Thank you Barbie...
I posted this morning before remembering Oct. 1
Barbara the church The Grove of Woodbury does put our service on Facebook. If you look it up the also stream it live too!
Vicki I love the passage you shared so true for so many things. We never know the struggles someone has in their life. A reminder to met those with kindness and compassion!
(((Rita))) Surrounding you in loving thoughts I am so proud of you for all you are doing to keep yourself as strong as you can. There is nothing wrong in telling your son that you hear he is starting to show signs of his illness. (When someone is starting down that road they lose their perspective.) Remind him you are one who knows him and you want what is best for him. It is those that know him or her to alert them to go see a health professional they trust. He may or may not heed what you say. It might help to remind him what happens to him without help. Remind yourself that you are dealing with an irrational person. Do kind things for yourself and set those strong boundaries to help yourself like you have been doing!
Happy with singing today. Have such a great accompaniest with LouAnn! Fun songs to sing. Compliments on how it looked like I was enjoying what I was singing!5 -
Here is the October Happiness list. Feel free to copy/use/read any of this post you would like! You ladies ROCK!! Ps.. my yearly goal list is in here too with the results for September. I hit 99% of my goals last month!! YAY me. I think I will do what Machka suggested in her last September post to me. I may add it as a short-term goal!
💕❤️🛸👽
2023 Optimistic October
Word of the Year: appreciate—Today I appreciate the much needed rain we had last night.
Meditation: daily. 28/30 (82%(started Feb)(94%,100%, 74%, 93%,100%,100%)
Recommended exercise: cardio 5 days 30 min 23/23
Strength all muscles 2 x 0/8 a week
Flexible (yoga, stretching) 1/8 a week 10 min
Balance 5 days 10 min 2/20
Foods to avoid:
Barley
Bell peppers
Chicken
Clam
Egg white
Eggplant
Ginger
Rye
Wheat
Winter squash
1. cut back drinking and limit to 2 days a week. 0/8–(300%,100%,100%)
2. Average 7,000 steps a week. 5784, 9858, 8414,6805,(7,700,100%-9851,100%-9526,100%-9,559,100%, -8347,100%—7465,100%—6328,90%—6059,87%—6458,92%)
3. Update budget every 2 weeks 0/2 —(800%)
4. Contact close family every week (4x) 213/208—(733%) should be 189 by November 1)
5. Contact Donat and sibs once a month (8x)72/94 (800%)
6. Weigh less last day of month compared to first until I reach 140. Start at 178.6,176,174.2,173.4,175.4,174,175.6,173.4, 172.2 (600%)
7. Develop a journaling practice by aiming to journal at least 5 days a week. /23 (681%,100,100)
8. Read 12 books at least this year. 38
/12 (100%)
9. Pay off credit card debt by January 2024 by making monthly payments to NDR/Reach Financial 9/12—(900%)
10. Continue building emergency fund at SLFCU (min$25 a month)$25+$25+$71+700+25+25 +25+25 (900%)
11. April started putting 4% on income in savings. 700,200,200, 107, 157,0, 500%)
January Met —100%
February met —-90%
March met met —-90%
April met——86.36%
May met——-89%
June met—-99%
July met — met 81%
August met—met 99%
September met——99%
October met —
November met—
December met—
1. Write down three things you can look forward to this month. 1. Another month of sobriety 2. Cooler weather 3. Decorating for Halloween
2. Find something to be optimistic about (even if it’s a difficult time)
3. Take a small step to a goal that really matters to you.
4. Start the day with the most important thing on your to-do-list.
5. Be a realistic optimist. See life as it is but focus on what’s good.
6. Remind yourself that things can change for the better.
7. Look for the good in people around you today.
8. Make some progress on a project or task you’ve been avoiding.
9. Share an important goal with someone you trust.
10. Take time to reflect on what you have accomplished recently.
11. Avoid blaming yourself or others. Find a helpful way forward.
12. Look out for positive news and reasons to be cheerful today.
13. Ask for help to overcome an obstacle you are facing.
14. Do something constructive to improve a difficult situation
15. Thank yourself for achieving the things you often take for granted.
16. Put down your to-list and do something fun or uplifting.
17. Take a small step toward a positive change you want to see in society.
18. Set hopeful, but realistic goals for the days ahead.
19. Identify one of your positive qualities that will be helpful in the future.
20. Find joy in tackling a task you’ve put off for some time.
21. Let go of the expectations of others and focus on what matters to you.
22. Share a hopeful quote, picture, or video with a friend or colleague
23. Recognize that you have a choice of what to prioritize.
24. Write down three specific things that have gone well recently.
25. You can’t do everything! What are three priorities right now?
26. Find a new prospective on a problem you face.
27. Be kind to yourself today. Remember progress takes time.
28. Ask yourself ‘will this still matter a year from now?’
29. Plan a fun or exciting activity to look forward to.
30. Identify three things that give you hope for the future.
31. Set a goal that brings a sense of purpose for the coming month.
RVRita in Roswell, NM2 -
I have been thinking about this topic of dread or reluctance to leave the house. For me, it is clearly a matter of intentional use of my time. Time is a scarce resource just like money and energy. I want to use my time as intentionally as possible and not fritter it away unnecessarily. Driving to town for me takes about 15 minutes each way plus parking at wherever I go. I want to be sure that I'm using that time wisely and not taking away from the time that could be spent on an important project in my house or yard or with my husband.
When we lived in our other house, I drove the dogs to the off leash dog park so they could run and play. Our current house is farther from the dog park but I was willing to take them there in spite of the extra time required until I found out how much they enjoyed walking on a leash in our neighborhood. Staying in the neighborhood meant a lot more active time for the dogs without the car ride. Now the only dog I have is Bessie who likes shorter walks near the house and hates the car so walking in the neighborhood is definitely better for us.
Our current grocery shopping plan has served us well for several years. We make our shopping list online during the week and submit the list to the store on Friday night. We pick up our groceries on Sunday morning between 8 and 8:30. That saves us from extra shopping trips and from going to town when the traffic is heavier. It requires planning and discipline but gives us many more peaceful hours at home.
I like to get together with friends so I meet them for a walk not a meal. That way I can pair activity with social time, I decided a few years ago that I wouldn't eat for recreation or entertainment so I don't look at going out to eat as a great opportunity. Instead, it is not a good use of my time. I don't spend time with people that are negative and drag me down.
Annie, you have so many real demands on your time caring for your parents, it must be a constant challenge to you to make the best choices. I send many hugs to you. I have had brief caring times with my mother and my husband, enough to know how physically and emotionally draining it can be.
Meg, welcome. We have all been there with wishing the road to health and fitness would move faster.
Barbie in NW WA5 -
Lisa, I, too, don't care to leave my house (except to walk in my neighborhood) so you dread resonated with me. Every five weeks I drive my friend to the retina center for macular degeneration treatments. It's an easy drive and I sit in the car and read or nap while she has her treatment. Yesterday at the end of her treatment she told me the date of her next treatment and wondered if I could take her later in the afternoon than usual. I told her that leaving the house was the hardest part for me, it didn't matter whether it was at noon or 4PM. She thought I was very flexible and was grateful for my help.
Barbie
My mother struggles with agoraphobia too.
https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/health/conditionsandtreatments/agoraphobia
Agoraphobia develops over time
Agoraphobia usually begins with a stressful event – for example, a person loses a job or a relationship ends. They feel distressed and limit their contact with the outside world (this is called ‘avoidance behaviour’). As time passes, they may consider more and more public places as ‘out of bounds’ until they are eventually confined to their home.
In other cases, a stressful life event triggers a panic attack. Since panic attacks are so unpleasant, the person may avoid any situation or place that they think might trigger another attack until many situations and places are eventually feared and avoided.
For a little while after my husband's accident, there were places I couldn't go without having a panic attack, like the grocery store, which was a bit problematic because I hadn't started ordering groceries online then.
M in Oz
I think my mother has agoraphobia. And I suspect my DH has a bit of this as he never wants to go anywhere but shopping or the park work-shop. Me, I’d love to go everywhere if I had unlimited finances that is. But visiting neighbors doesn’t cost anything. He doesn’t do that. He prefers people come to our campsite.
Thank you also for the wise words. You all don’t know how much you mean to me in my life! I talked to my son yesterday and fear he is not taking his medications. I can tell by how he talks and his mood flips up and down quickly for no apparent reason. I had him on speakerphone as my DH was driving and he even mentioned it. I am letting go. All this ‘cra?” Is getting to me. I don’t need that. It is why I moved where I am. I need to distance myself from all this bickering. It is affecting my physical health as well as my mental health. My DS did say yesterday, “ Don’t call them, let them call you if they want to talk to you (care)” I’ve heard that from many of you here as well as my YDD. It hit home coming from him. Please keep him and me in your thought and prayers.
RVRita, hoping to change her thinking at 67 and get healthy (especially mentally !)
You're calling your family ... and they're saying negative things to you?
Yes, your son is right. Don't contact them.
Don't call them.
Don't email them.
Don't text them.
Snooze them for 30 days on FB.
Take a break.
M in Oz
0 -
“ Yes, your son is right. Don't contact them.
Don't call them.
Don't email them.
Don't text them.
Snooze them for 30 days on FB.
Take a break.“
Great advice Machka. I am going to take a break from all the negativity and block the judgemental ones from FB and texting for a month. We will see the result of this!
Margaret and everyone else who have been supporting me, THANK YOU!🙏. You all give me strength!
RVRita7 -
Thank you for a new month Barbie!
I’ve been reading, but not commenting, going to do what I remember now!
Rebecca, congrats on Eli’s safe arrival! He’s a cutie and it looks like Athena will be a devoted big sister!
Heather, Happy Birthday! I hope the wedding was lovely and that you enjoyed yourself!
Rita, just {{{HUGS}}} crazy that your family blames you for your sons issues, he’s a grown man and should be held responsible for his own actions! Very nice that he got rehired, hope that all works out.
Lisa, so glad to hear that Kelsey and family are okay, very frightening for all concerned! Sincerely hope the gov,t shutdown either doesn’t happen or is very short lived. Good they have a little cushion built up!
I cancelled our newspaper just before we went away and haven’t bothered starting it up again. I don’t really miss it, now I have breakfast with you ladies instead of the paper. I think that’s much better for my mental health and starts my day in a much more positive manner so thank you to each and everyone of you!
Really must go clean up my kitchen, hope everyone has a lovely day!
Evelyn, Vancouver Island5 -
Good news about the U.S. government shutdown being averted at the last minute 👏 with a six-week stopgap measure in place. At this point, I'm happy to take what I can get. Taking a note out of Evie's book and it appears it's time to stop watching the news again... 😎
Annie, darlin', I'm sorry your mom isn't doing as well as they hoped. It sounds like your dad isn't doing too well without her. You're stronger than you know, , and I hope you have time to just sit and talk to your sister and enjoy some time with her. Glad she's coming to be with you and your dad for the funeral. There are days and weeks in all our lives when simply standing up and putting one foot in front of the other is a triumph. Don't be too hard on yourself right now, you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.
Rita - I'm so glad you're getting what you need from the group, and you were getting far more and better advice than I could give. It sounds like a break from the toxicity is a very good thing. I hope it brings a little more peace into your life.✌️
My granddaughter's got her much-loved big brother back for a week , and there are an awful lot of smiles in my daughter's household right now. It's done a lot, I'm sure, to erase the sights and sounds of the last week, which is a very good thing.
Later, y'all,
Lisa in AR
9 -
Thanks Barbie for the new month.
Happy birthday Heather!
Sitting in my recliner coughing and wheezing with a sarcoidosis flare. Skipped church and was able to sleep in this morning. Critters complained because their breakfasts were late. My DB is in hospital. One of the leads on his pacemaker broke and caused an infection. They removed the pacemaker on Friday and cleaned things up but have him on IV antibiotics. They are not going to replace the pacemaker. He should be released tomorrow.
Everyone take care, Sue in WA9 -
Lisa ~ Wonderful photo of your grands!
I think I had to use an old user name to log in correctly today as MFP and FACEBOOK have been acting WONKY for me today. Did a lot of deleting old things and just hope all is better now.
Love you All!
Carol in GA5 -
Sue - So sorry about the flare, sounds awful, glad you were able to sleep in. Hope your brother's lack of pacemaker won't be an issue, and that he's doing better, too.1
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Lisa - adorable photos of the grands. A shame he only gets to stay a week. Is that subject to change at some point?
Annie - sending you hugs and strength. So much happening for you right now with your parents, it's so hard to see them in physical and emotional pain. Thank you for keeping us posted.
Heather and Barbie - I sat down this morning to listen to Dr. Chatterjee and the monk's podcast on Spotify. Not surprisingly, I fell asleep after a few minutes but woke right up when they were talking about had we been born in someone else's circumstances we'd have made the same decisions! How timely as it was mentioned in this group a week or two ago. I want to listen to it again and stay awake this time.
I wanted to mention something I saw on a Blue Zones article. "Being wanted and needed can help you live longer." The article gave grandmothers as an example who live close by and interact with their children and grandchildren.
But then I thought - what about those of us who are now single for whatever reason and don't have any family close by? Loss of a spouse or a friend and even family members who don't stay connected - I now see clearer why that loss can be so heartbreaking whether we realize it or not and detrimental to our health. Because that person no longer wants and/or needs us.
In my case, I can see what a large role Rosie my schnauzer and my chickies play in my life. I can depend on them to want and need me, and be joyous when they see me. It's a simple as that. They don't get cranky or refuse to answer my letters and emails, lol. Of course, it's related to treats but is that different than fixing a meal for a spouse, friend or family?
And in a larger sense, our homes and gardens kind of play the same role. They depend on us to tend them, make them productive and look nice.
Reminder - those of you who want to be included in tomorrow's Weekly Check-in, please get the info to me today or tomorrow morning.
Lanette
SW WA State where we're having a sunny, breezy, absolutely beautiful 65F afternoon.6 -
SophieRosieMom wrote: »Lisa - adorable photos of the grands. A shame he only gets to stay a week. Is that subject to change at some point?
I wanted to mention something I saw on a Blue Zones article. "Being wanted and needed can help you live longer." The article gave grandmothers as an example who live close by and interact with their children and grandchildren.
But then I thought - what about those of us who are now single for whatever reason and don't have any family close by? Loss of a spouse or a friend and even family members who don't stay connected - I now see clearer why that loss can be so heartbreaking whether we realize it or not and detrimental to our health. Because that person no longer wants and/or needs us.
In my case, I can see what a large role Rosie my schnauzer and my chickies play in my life. I can depend on them to want and need me, and be joyous when they see me. It's a simple as that. They don't get cranky or refuse to answer my letters and emails, lol. Of course, it's related to treats but is that different than fixing a meal for a spouse, friend or family?
And in a larger sense, our homes and gardens kind of play the same role. They depend on us to tend them, make them productive and look nice.
Lanette
SW WA State where we're having a sunny, breezy, absolutely beautiful 65F afternoon.
Lanette - Actually, it was Tyler's choice to stay in Texas with his bio-dad, and Kelsey's choice to let him go, which was hard for her--I was on the phone with her a lot. Tyler (who is 12 now) moved to Corpus Christi before they left for Hawaii, and may yet change his mind and decide to move back with Kels and the family. There are an awful lot of attractions to living with his birth dad, including being the only child. His bio-dad even ponied up for the plane ticket to get him to Hawaii to visit, and he and Kels are getting along better than they ever did, whether married or divorced! No idea how it will all end up.
As far as the need to be wanted and needed goes, I think our pets make a massive difference in our lives. I know that Egg is a large portion of my life, and enormous company when Corey's not around. I can see how that attachment would be even deeper if he weren't here. Totally disagree that it's purely "cupboard love," and just about the snacks, too. Egg's very definite about being petted vs. being snacked, and both are part of the overall picture. Much like with humans.
I can see the extension, too, to the house and the gardening... When I finally started feeling better, I realized I felt incredibly guilty for neglecting my house the last couple years while I was ill, and I'm not sure whether I felt guilty toward myself or my husband or the house most. Possibly all three.
Lisa in Arkansas3 -
Thank you everyone for your birthday wishes. 50 mins to my birthday.
Glad I went to the wedding. Will write more tomorrow.
Here I am with the bride.
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx9 -
Heather: Have a wonderful birthday. And enjoy the wedding.
Today Elder Daughter decided to come to us instead of us going to hers. We invited her for dinner. Elder Grandson came with his mum. The day turned out beautiful, so we went for a walk in the walled garden of Bangor Castle when we picked them up from the station. I think daughter is missing her youngest, who went back to uni in England on Tuesday. We were even able to have afternoon coffee in the garden.
These are from a previous visit to the walled garden.Tomorrow I have Creative Writing at 10.30am, and Monday Painters at 2 pm. Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday are clear. Friday I have Latin at 10am, and Parchment Craft at 2pm. Yesterday I made a start on sorting out my hobbies room, which had become a bit of a dumping ground. Floor is cleared, and I can now get to my work table. Also dumped a mountain of paper in recycle. Yay! Me!
🤗🤗🤗 and 🙏🙏🙏
Stay sweet, m’dears.
☘️ Terri5 -
Barbie, Lisa and Lanette, thank you for your support. One step at a time is good advice! My next trick is trying to squeeze in cooking a pot roast because my mom loves the carrots. She was doing a little better today.
Rita hope you can manage to get a break.
Heather such a wonderful wedding!
Annie in Delaware3
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