WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JANUARY 2024

Today’s gratitude: While shopping the pantry swept out the far corners. Was thankful that there was no mouse poop as there has been in the past, nor weevils like in Annie’s, but OH, the cobwebs [shudder}. The cloud of dog hair didn’t bother me ;}
Yesterday’s gratitude: Full strength ammonia.
Audio books whenever I’ve tried to listen to one while driving, my driving gets distracted. Not a good idea. Might try while decluttering… yeah right ;} Like Machka my preference is for a solid, tangible book. Love the feel and even smell of the real thing.
Tracey ((hugs)) This is the place for saying what hurts. ((hugs))
Vicki what a harrowing trip. Thankful you made it home safe at last.
Machka “sounding board” is exactly the right term and thanks for the examples. I need to practice the “I can see that” and murmurs of agreement instead of jumping in with my “helpful suggestions” :devil: Whooshing increasing thoughts to your little bee colony.
Michelle in NV, so sorry to hear your mother say that, she sounds like Debbie’s MIL. While I wonder what contributed to her acting/feeling that way, it is not acceptable. You are wise not to play into her fantasies. Good boundaries! ((hugs))
Ginny while I’d love to see Heather in Hove and Terri in Ireland, my preference would be somewhere sunny and warm. . . ;} Sorry to hear about the person in the wrong job. Sometimes, no matter how hard you try to train them up, it just isn’t right for anyone. ((hugs))
Kylia what a scary near miss. Safe travels this evening, you are important to us!”
Lisa while shopping the pantry, found those wine jelly candies. They’re portioned out and in the freezer. You are an insightful, intelligent and wickedly naughty gal. those corner drawers!
Annie ((hugs)) now the real time of adjustment begins. We’re here for you. ((hugs))
teklawa1@ Betsy thanks for checking in. Safe travels and gentle hugs for all in your family.
Lanette will watch that 5 video questions later when I get up from after hot tub nap I was averaging over 7500 steps til the shin aches, and could down to floor and back up before straining the rator cuff ligaments/muscles. Balance on one leg? Rotflmao. Some strength training (sit to stands) is part of PT that I have gotten back to the last few days (yay me) but the dumbbells have been off the table since the shoulder went south.
I’m aiming for 1 g protein for every 2.2 lbs weight but adjusted DOWN to be for the goal weight (<110/2.2~50) and not where I am now (133~60). Almost afraid to see what Ed Ed DeBoo recommends. Can’t believe it’s been two years since your DH passed. (((hugs)))
Rita national cheese lovers and butter crunch day? Thanks a lot …
Joy so frustrating. Does satellite also provide your internet?
Rebecca now that you mention it, Lisa’s corner drawers do have an Escher-y feel… ;}
Kelly sorry all the physical work (shoveling etc) is not helping you sleep. What our minds do to us.((hugs))
Rori oh yes, the teleporter. Then we really all could meet up somewhere warm . . .
Break time’s over. Time to get back to it. “It” is prepping the house for the pet sitter’s arrival. Involves: vacuuming edges, corners and recliners; scrubbing stovetop and chopping block; cleaning the bathrooms with Heather’s all purpose spray cleaner; and the big one : DUST. Dusting will require decluttering, coping with dead plants, aaaarrgh! Think I’ll just get in the hot tub.
Later, lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
January: Move more: dailyish PT, play with dogs, more steps than yesterday.
Fuel better: less sugar, CI<CO, dailyish vitamins. more AF days than not.
Live NOW: dailyish time with Joe, dogs, readings, Hebrew, meditation.
Open heart and mind before mouth.
2024: Strengthen: body, mind, heart-connections.

Barbara - my frozen shoulder several years ago really derailed me. I know exactly how you feel. When are you taking off for the tooth procedure?

Margaret - thinking of you and hoping the brother can keep things under control and not cause stress.

Annie - glad to hear your sis and BIL made it back, and that you and your dad seem to be settling into a routine. Do you think his cognition is a little better now that your mom's memorial service and the business is over?

Rori - I think someone must have sold the teleporter for scrap. Either that or someone is enjoying "Back to the Future." At least I HOPE they are enjoying it, lol.

Pip - that book looks so neat! How cool author was your BIL and he autographed it for ya, plus a letter! My library had the E-book so I ordered it. Between the heat, the ice and the floods, who knows what our fate will be. Since I can see 2 volcanoes from the main road, and Mt. St. Helens active from time to time, I'm more concerned about an earthquake or sitting on ground zero here if it all cuts loose. Think I'd prefer being on ground zero than baking, drowning or freezing to death. When I'm 93 of course.

The temperature reached a sunny 47F today. It's now overcast and rain is moving in, but it was wonderful and I'm feeling back to normal again. Appetite back, feel like cooking, plenty of energy.

Even got a walk down the road in the sunshine. Walking neighbor and her DH cancelled, the crud hit them when they woke up this morning.

Back to watching Vera. Just finished the last episode Bethany was in. She was one of my favorites.

Have a great rest of your weekend ladies!

Lanette
SW WA State

Ugh- im angry...
Rant ahead...Tracy works hard..Kyle does to but trying to keep a 2 yr old semi busy after surgery is a chore..well I guess Kyle is in a snit about something and wouldn't lift a finger to help Tracy at all today.and im guessing not tomorrow either..
Grrrrrr.
Ok rant over.. im going to sleep now.

anmlmzdiet wrote: »

Families are complicated. I feel and understand your pain. I am the oldest of three. My younger siblings are deceased. My mother and I have struggled with our relationship for years. At this time, and she is getting up there in years, she has made comments about how she wishes one of my siblings had not died instead of me. She tells people she is writing me out of her will, which she hasn't done yet, and that my girls are to get nothing. She says she wants everything, including her doll collection, to go to her grandsons.

I still go and visit her, she doesn't know that I have family members jumping to tell me what she says. I'm kind to her, but factual. I don't play into her fantasies, and I think it bothers her. I can't change her, and no one can figure out why she continues to be this way. There's so much more I could say here, but suffice it to say, it's pretty unfair. Family? You'll never understand all of their motives. It's enough that I have my husband and children.

Michelle in NV

Michelle- sorry you are dealing with the way your mom is treating you. My husband is dealing with the same thing with his.
So much the same as what you wrote-
His brother(her favorite) was killed in an accident. The day after he died, his mom looked dh in the eyes and said "Wrong son died, huh!". We found out that day that she really had taken him out of her will. She had always said she was going to do it after he married me but we didn't know she had. She didn't understand why it upset him- he was going to get everything anyways. That was 12yrs ago.
Now she goes from saying she is giving everything to her niece who has said she is going to come here(from Osaka) and take mother in law back with her. Or she was giving everything to the bums on the street, Anything so dh, our son and I don't get anything.
The bad part is that a year and a half ago, she fell and he had to be there 24/7. She is better but still demands that he goes over there twice a day, every day, to bring her food(can't be food I make-if he does that she tells him to throw it in the garbage. She also comments about him eating "the garbage" at home), and makes sure she takes her meds. She can do these things herself but thinks she deserves all this attention.
He is the only family she has. She tells everyone, even her doctors, that she is all alone(while he is standing next to her)
She truly is the meanest women I know.
She hates him and he hates her and the tension is too much for him sometimes. He has never learned to tell her no.

Debbie
Napa Valley,CA

@dlfk202000

Wow, I always wonder how a parent can be so cold as to treat well-meaning adult children like they can abuse them. My mother has a pretty terrible track record for treating her caretakers poorly. My deceased sister's husband had been taking care of her after my sister's death. He and my nephew did everything for her. Then my BIL met a nice woman who he wanted to be with. He spent less and less time at home leaving my nephew to do my mother's bidding. At this point she had kept it a secret where they were living, specifically from me. It had been this way for several years. (No, I did not know where my mother lived, because she and my Sister hadn't wanted me to know.)

Anyway, BIL decided my mother was too abusive and he wanted to move to NY. (We are on the West Coast.) My mother said she understood, but she really didn't. They left because of how she acted. She threw fits the whole time they were getting ready to leave, and he just kept telling her, "I am leaving."

Now, my mother had to find someone else to care for her. I offered, begged, and pleaded for her to come with me. I thought I could make our relationship better. She wasn't having any of that, though. She arranged with my cousin to have him take care of her.

Now she's with my cousin and has called me to take her out, and put her anywhere. Now mind you she's still treating me bad this whole time. I went to my cousin's house and got the scoop. She's not the center of attention right now, because my 97 year-old grandmother moved in, because the doctor said she could no longer live alone.

Now you might be thinking, "Poor Cousin," and you'd be right except that he is amazing. He's an A-type who cooks, cleans, records what they ate and what medications they've had and when. On top of that he holds down a very, high paying full-time job. She should be grateful, right. No, she called the cops on him. Of course, they found nothing wrong, and found her to be a bit nutty.

My cousin was livid about this, as it could have jeopardized his job. He and I spent some time talking about our options. I told him that after seeing what he did, especially with my relationship with my mother the way it is, I really didn't think I could take her. My mother has a great retirement and can afford to live almost anywhere, so we decided a nice home was the way to go.

She was not happy, but we were. At the last minute, however, My cousin's kindness won out. Because both of them are somewhat ambulatory and can do most things themselves, a decision was made to put my grandma and my mom in the same house down the street from my cousin. He would still be able to be there for meals, medication, and baths, and would also be there in a couple of minutes if they needed to call for an emergency. Ultimately, this would give my cousin the breathing room he needs.

All this time, mind you, my mother knows I'm pulling the strings, but she's acting like she is, SMH. I don't know what she's thinking, I'm her last living child. In the end it's my responsibility to make sure she's safe. And, while I hope this works, if it doesn't I just think we'll have to resort to a home.

I feel guilty about this, but if she treats the people she likes like this, how would she treat me if I brought her to live with me?

So this is a longer post than I planned. Sorry about that. Thanks to anyone still reading this, lol.

Michelle in NV