friends with benefits

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  • VictorianJade
    VictorianJade Posts: 705 Member
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    Condoms don`t protect you from HPV. And they are not all that reliable. And if the protection fails, how good was it?
    condoms lower the risk of HPV, as well as HPV related diseases ( http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm ). of course it wont stop anything thats not covered by the condom - and nothing is 100%... but there are actions that can be taken to reduce the risk. if you dont want to take the risk - dont. but dont judge others for it either.

    Of course I can judge. That is why I have a brain. So that I can see through all of the rationalizations that people give for their self-destructive behavior. People who swing tell themselves that it is OK, that they have everything under control, yadda yadda. Then the next thing you know, they go down in flames. Not pretty. Lots of damage, not all of it collateral. Suicide. Stuff like that. But they all said that it would not happen to them because it was all under control between fully informed, consenting, adults.

    ...
    ...
    W.o.w.
  • Yasmine91
    Yasmine91 Posts: 599 Member
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    Is ure husband not enough for you?
    he fulfills the majority of my needs. im bisexual. hes not a woman. occasionally i want to be with another woman.
    my sex drive has always been higher than his. we started out multiple times a day when we first got together. its slowly dropped down - especially with kids and now his parents live with us. we still enjoy each other very much, but sometimes hes just not up for it and my extensive toy collection just doesnt cut it. he knows and understands this.

    Yeesh that's...not cool. Urm, I'm bisexual myself and my sex drive is very high too. Quite the sexually aggressive type me, which can be very hard at times but that doesn't mean I have to use it as an excuse to sleep with other people. I have a loving boyfriend, and I just can't even think about sleeping with another person. When I do get married, sex should be ONLY with your partner (or if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend). I really don't like how the world today just ****s all over the concept of having ONE partner.
  • Yasmine91
    Yasmine91 Posts: 599 Member
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    I dont know...im not thinkin id just want to be someones eff buddy!!! nothing like being used like a piece of meat...not for me!!

    THANK YOU!
  • Matt_Wild
    Matt_Wild Posts: 2,673 Member
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    FWB annoy me tbh. My misses before me had a FWB and enjoyed sleeping with him as of when she felt like it. Turned out she found he had a GF and they carried on doing it anyway. Whilst I don't think she'll ever stray from me, it does make me question everyone and their actual real person inside and what they say on the outside. She doesn't see the fact she was sleeping with another man who had a misses as bad as she wasn't cheating... it messes with my head and my sense of of what is right and wrong.

    It just opens too many cans of worms.
  • gdr1976
    gdr1976 Posts: 460 Member
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    Never had the joys of having one so really can't say. Have a couple of friends who do and it works for them. As long as there are rules I say why not.
  • grassette
    grassette Posts: 976 Member
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    Condoms don`t protect you from HPV. And they are not all that reliable. And if the protection fails, how good was it?
    condoms lower the risk of HPV, as well as HPV related diseases ( http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm ). of course it wont stop anything thats not covered by the condom - and nothing is 100%... but there are actions that can be taken to reduce the risk. if you dont want to take the risk - dont. but dont judge others for it either.

    Of course I can judge. That is why I have a brain. So that I can see through all of the rationalizations that people give for their self-destructive behavior. People who swing tell themselves that it is OK, that they have everything under control, yadda yadda. Then the next thing you know, they go down in flames. Not pretty. Lots of damage, not all of it collateral. Suicide. Stuff like that. But they all said that it would not happen to them because it was all under control between fully informed, consenting, adults.

    I think you need to get laid and lighten up.

    I am anything but sexually frustrated, dear. But I exercise mine in a totally loving, committed marriage with the love of my life. It's worth holding out for, and holding on once you've secured it. I've seen a lot of living, and if I comment, it's from the vantage point of seeing close ones make huge mistakes with their lives. Hold out for love. There is no other substitute, even if the hormones are running high, as they are wont to do in youth.
  • jeannicoleau
    jeannicoleau Posts: 194 Member
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    I did this years ago. No problems. One time I started to get serious feelings...we talked about it. He backed off for a while. Later, we started up again with mutual respect for each other.
  • gnrduff1
    gnrduff1 Posts: 36 Member
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    Is ure husband not enough for you?
    he fulfills the majority of my needs. im bisexual. hes not a woman. occasionally i want to be with another woman.
    my sex drive has always been higher than his. we started out multiple times a day when we first got together. its slowly dropped down - especially with kids and now his parents live with us. we still enjoy each other very much, but sometimes hes just not up for it and my extensive toy collection just doesnt cut it. he knows and understands this.

    Yeesh that's...not cool. Urm, I'm bisexual myself and my sex drive is very high too. Quite the sexually aggressive type me, which can be very hard at times but that doesn't mean I have to use it as an excuse to sleep with other people. I have a loving boyfriend, and I just can't even think about sleeping with another person. When I do get married, sex should be ONLY with your partner (or if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend). I really don't like how the world today just ****s all over the concept of having ONE partner.
    It really doesn't matter whether or not someone approves of another's relationship. Just because you can't seperate sex from emotion doesn't mean nobody else should be able to.
    Imho, if the husband is cool with it, and there's enough trust that it won't damage the relationship, then play ball. who cares if the world today ****s all over it? Marriage sociologically basically started as a way to get someone to take your burden of a daughter. It is essentially, at its roots, sex trafficing.
  • marcia724
    marcia724 Posts: 180 Member
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    I'm not trying to be mean...but I think that's very self-destructive thing to do in the first place. It's just puts a big sign on you that says "i don't respect myself, and instant gratification is more important than true love." It's not meant to work out and never will. I hope you have a change of heart. You're worth so much more.
  • Bradozzz85
    Bradozzz85 Posts: 46
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    Why would you bother sleeping with someone who you don't have any feelings towards in a romantic sense? I don't do it because I find it kind og offensive? so my **** is good enough but I'm not?
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
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    I think it can work but it is more probable that it will fail. Most people tend to be emotional creatures.

    I don't think it could ever be a reality in my life though. All my lovers, save for a few drunken fumbles, were emotionally engaged and there's no shutting that door when it's been opened.
  • RAFValentina
    RAFValentina Posts: 1,231 Member
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    All my MFPs are friends with benefits... the benefits being the support they offer in my boring interest in health, food and fitness and they are the only people I can ramble onto about it all!
  • iceqieen
    iceqieen Posts: 897 Member
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    eeeks ignorance and judgement.

    to OP:

    Go for it if you think you can keep things separate. I have not done this myself, but the people I know who have FWB or are in an open relationship, say that communication and rules are the key. As long as both people understand and know where the boundaries are then it can be loads of fun.

    Marriage as sex trafficing:
    Yes, daughers were looked at as burdens during certain time periods. Through long periods of human history marriage has been a contract, a way of getting political, social or financial benefits to one or both parties involved (parties being either the individuals, or entire family of the individuals, who get married). Not realising that, and living on a pink cloud where marriage has always been about love is ignorance.
  • VictorianJade
    VictorianJade Posts: 705 Member
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    eeeks ignorance and judgement.

    to OP:

    Go for it if you think you can keep things separate. I have not done this myself, but the people I know who have FWB or are in an open relationship, say that communication and rules are the key. As long as both people understand and know where the boundaries are then it can be loads of fun.

    Marriage as sex trafficing:
    Yes, daughers were looked at as burdens during certain time periods. Through long periods of human history marriage has been a contract, a way of getting political, social or financial benefits to one or both parties involved (parties being either the individuals, or entire family of the individuals, who get married). Not realising that, and living on a pink cloud where marriage has always been about love is ignorance.

    Danke.
  • rockerbabyy
    rockerbabyy Posts: 2,258 Member
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    Yeesh that's...not cool. Urm, I'm bisexual myself and my sex drive is very high too. Quite the sexually aggressive type me, which can be very hard at times but that doesn't mean I have to use it as an excuse to sleep with other people. I have a loving boyfriend, and I just can't even think about sleeping with another person. When I do get married, sex should be ONLY with your partner (or if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend). I really don't like how the world today just ****s all over the concept of having ONE partner.

    id still like to know how my sex life effects you in any way ;)
    if you MUST know - for the first 5 years of our marriage, it was just us. no one else involved. one of his fantasies was to see me with another woman (duh - hes male). and i had 0 issues with that..why should i? and why should it matter to you what happens in my bedroom?
  • xcrushx28
    xcrushx28 Posts: 182 Member
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    At a very basic level FWB is a "relationship". Once you start saying things like "communication and rules"..... Can it work? Sure I think anything can work for a while, but maybe not for the long haul. It's my belief that one of the two parties probably wants to be more than friends while the other doesn't want to commit and will take the sex because well its convenient. Sex without any of the obligations we usually tag along with it. I think "relationships" like these are actually becoming more common as people strive to get higher level degrees etc. You don't really have all to much time to commit to a relationship when you are very goal/career driven.
  • sizzlinoverthefat
    sizzlinoverthefat Posts: 136 Member
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    **** buddy worked like a charm- had a year plus of string free sex before I found a steady g/f and we parted ways with no hurt.

    How does the conversation go that ends the relationship?
    "Uhmm not this time best leave now & nobody gets hurt" Cool moving out as we.....
  • rockerbabyy
    rockerbabyy Posts: 2,258 Member
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    Like I said sweety, just carry on what your doing. You're so deluded that no matter what how much anyone tells you cold heart truth about this subject, not many will because people just like to be *****'s and not speak up, you're gonna carry on your slutty little ways. I feel bad for your husband.
    lol why would you feel bad for a man that gets his needs and fantasies met? hes completely happy, i assure you.
    like ive said in the past - to each their own. if you dont like having an open relationship, dont do it.
  • RUN2CJ
    RUN2CJ Posts: 64 Member
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    Weeeee- weee- Weeeee! Weeeee- weee- Weeeee!!

    FWB is a roller coaster full of UPS & downs... Is it reallly just friends when you end up dating... Married or hurt?
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
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    Right now I'm into one although we both professed our love for each other & we have a very good chemistry & we feel really comfortable with each other. But we promised to be there for each other no matter what happens & so we remain friends with benefits. The only thing that keeps us from turning this into a bf-gf relationship is the distance. Although we're both Mexicans but I live in Phils while he is in Mexico. Although I know there's nothing impossible if fate really has it (we're hoping so) but until then we'll see what happens.

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