Why do people ignore friend requests?

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  • beccarockslife
    beccarockslife Posts: 816 Member
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    I see a lot of peoples profiles that say, " I won't accept friend request without a message!" or " Let me know what we have in common and I might add you."

    Honestly? this is a support website! Do people really think they are too good to add people? Or think to many people want to be their friend? Whats wrong with that?

    Im sorry but I just don't understand. If someone wants to be my friend and needs me for support or wants some inspiration, I wont deny them. Its not like you have personal information on your profile that people could track you with like Facebook.

    Can someone explain this to me?

    Because some people are douche bags?
    Because it's my page and I'll do what I want with it?
  • Chrissy9632
    Chrissy9632 Posts: 24
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    I would happily accept any friend requests from people who want to give positive support and the evil neccessary of constructive criticism as motivation. Sometimes I do need that kick of "what the heck were you thinking eating McDonald's?"
  • Chrissy9632
    Chrissy9632 Posts: 24
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    Though I did end up deleting one person once because I felt their kind of posting was not good for me. It was 100% negative. This person talked down about theirselves in EVERY post. I feel a negative attitude can be contagious.

    I feel the exact same way.
  • bassanne
    bassanne Posts: 56
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    Not trying to be negative, but this is not a social function for me, it is about me, and changing my life. I comment on other posts and so on, and I receive encouragement from reading posts, but I have only 5 "friends" on here. I don't request to be anyone's friend. Maybe this will help you understand the difference in people on here.
  • NovemberJune
    NovemberJune Posts: 2,525 Member
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    There's no point adding a load of friends you will never have time to interact with. I keep a shorter friend list so that I actually have the time to read through my feed and encourage them. I wouldn't want all of my friends to have 1000 friends either, because then I know they wouldn't have time to give me encouragement, advice, whatever.
  • Lily_Rose
    Lily_Rose Posts: 38 Member
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    I'm an introvert.

    I only make some things public.

    If I see you post in a forum, I'll cheer you on.

    I don't want people I don't know, like and respect (which means getting to know you first) as "friends".

    Actually, the only person I've "friended" so far is someone that I know I have a lot in common with from another forum.

    My real life best friend is on here, and I haven't "friended" her here yet.

    There are some things I want to be private.

    I initially came here for the food/exercise tracking tools, not the "support".

    This^
    People are on this site for different reasons. Some of us mainly use the Calorie Tracking.
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
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    Because if they deny said Friend Request...then they gotta look at threads called "Why do people deny Friend Requests?" :yawn:
  • FR89
    FR89 Posts: 186 Member
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    so true... its just lame whoever has that written on their profile... every new friend request makes me happy =) .. more friend means more support .. because some are more regular then others but its a community/friends circle feel.. we're all here for the same purpose end of the day...

    PS. anyone who wants more friends.. feel free to add me =) x
  • smplycomplicated
    smplycomplicated Posts: 484 Member
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    I accept all FR's. I've been pretty lucky..I've only had a few that have turned out to be perv's. when that happens I send them a message telling them why i'm removing them. I'm not here for a "Hook-up" so once they cross that line *Remove* I don't mind innocent flirting, But when you start getting all gross about it it's time for you to go.
  • Joannie30
    Joannie30 Posts: 415 Member
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    I personally don't tend to leave a message when I add someone, but only because I wouldn't expect someone to HAVE to leave a message to add me. As a previous poster has very rightly said, this is a support website. We should all be open to one another.

    Anyone can add me, at any time and leaving a message is fine, just the same as no message is fine.
  • SwtMelissa86
    SwtMelissa86 Posts: 165
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    I agree fully. I accept any friend requests and, in fact, encourage people to add me as a friend because I can use the motivation and I am happy to provide the same in return.

    Great post/topic. Glad you brought it up. :)

    Cheers!

    Jeff

    ^what he said... :smile:
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
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    I personally don't tend to leave a message when I add someone, but only because I wouldn't expect someone to HAVE to leave a message to add me. As a previous poster has very rightly said, this is a support website. We should all be open to one another.

    Anyone can add me, at any time and leaving a message is fine, just the same as no message is fine.

    Translation: My way is the right way and poo on anyone who prefers anything different.
  • Priincess_Natalie
    Priincess_Natalie Posts: 367 Member
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    I see a lot of peoples profiles that say, " I won't accept friend request without a message!" or " Let me know what we have in common and I might add you."

    Honestly? this is a support website! Do people really think they are too good to add people? Or think to many people want to be their friend? Whats wrong with that?

    Im sorry but I just don't understand. If someone wants to be my friend and needs me for support or wants some inspiration, I wont deny them. Its not like you have personal information on your profile that people could track you with like Facebook.

    Can someone explain this to me?

    For me, I like to keep my friend list strictly female, save 1 dude (he was my first MFP friend). I also don't want to have too many friends to keep up with. I like keeping a close knit group so I have time to see what everyone had to say for the day, read their food diaries and try to be as supportive as I can.

    When my friends list is too full I have a hard time keeping up with everyone and showing the kind of support I want to give. I'm not a snob by any means but I only have so much time per day to spend on MFP and want to make as large of a positive impact as I can and feel that's best reached by keeping my friends list small, and female :)
  • mrsdizzyd84
    mrsdizzyd84 Posts: 422 Member
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    I've discovered that a lot of folks who don't send messages with their FRs also don't comment or post status updates. I like to have active friends. Therefore, if you don't take the time to leave a message I won't accept your request unless I've seen you around the forums or your profile looks interesting.

    It has nothing to do with whether I think I'm better than anyone else. I just have enough silent "friends" as it is.
  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
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    You don't have to understand it. I have like 100 friends on here and most of them I don't talk to. How can I? that's WAY too many people to keep up with. I'm not asking much by wanting a little message with the friend request so that I can know where they found me or why they want to be friends. Otherwise, it's just some random nobody on the interwebs added onto my collection of "friends" that I don't talk to. I don't know how anyone can expect me to leave inspirational comments on all their shiz when I just got some random friend request from someone who I have never seen before, having no idea where they found me or why they decided they wanted to be friends with me.
  • Prettylittlelotus
    Prettylittlelotus Posts: 239 Member
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    I add almost everyone. I don't add men typically, unless I can tell by there profile that they're serious about the site and not just trolling. I don't require a message, because honestly, even though I send messages it's really uncomfortable to reach out to a stranger and say "hey, I need support." That's one of the hardest things a person can do, we come to this site already vulnerable and uncomfortable with ourselves, why would I make someone feel even more uncomfortable? This isn't facebook. We're supposed to be a community that is a safe environment for everyone involved.

    Anyone that would like an active, supportive friend on MFP can add me WITHOUT a message.

    Cheers!
  • fitnhealthykaren
    fitnhealthykaren Posts: 117
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    I do prefer it when someone tells me why they want to be friends with me - it's nice when someone wants to be friends due to commonality. And, I will unfriend someone who has eating or exercise habits that I don't agree with. To each their own, but I just don't want to see bad habits on my news feed.
  • determined2lose89
    determined2lose89 Posts: 342 Member
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    I am one of those “people” that asks for a little message with a friend request. This ISN’T facebook where I know the person who is adding me on the other end. Yes, this is a support website, but it doesn’t hurt just to say “Hi! I’d like to add you as a friend because we have similar goals/lifestyles” or “I’d like to add you because you gave some great advice on the forum!” It’s not that hard, really. Additionally, if people send a friend request, even with a little message and neglect to comment on any of my food diaries, weigh ins, workouts, etc, and I’m supporting them, then I’ll delete them. It’s a give and take friendship here.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I actually, just today, stop accepting friend requests all together. I have over 200+ friends... (well I deleted a few that weren't active). It just gets hard to keep up. I miss some updates that I really wish I weren't missing because my feed is crowded out.

    The other reason that I stopped is because a lot of people see my weight loss and they want to watch what I do so that they can achieve the same results. But I haven't been making a lot of progress, and its affecting my attitude a bit. I feel a bit out of control right now. So I really can't offer an example to others when I really don't feel like I have a handle on this thing right now.

    In short, the decision not to accept friend requests is more about what the individual feels that they can manage and has nothing to do with anyone thinking that they are better than anyone else. Stop taking things so personally.
  • jpuderbaugh
    jpuderbaugh Posts: 318 Member
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    I started only approving/requesting friendship from people I actually knew. Then some people who have a common weight loss goal requested me, and I thought "why not". Personally, some of the people on this site can be real a$$es, so I will not approve everybody. And yes, too many friends could totally make the news feed get out of hand. I however, do not delete friends if they haven't been on for a while. They could have a good reason for not being on (maybe a family member passed away and they are dealing with their emotions, maybe they are pregnant and having trouble with morning sickness). I find it rather rude to delete somebody for this reason. to me it's like saying "oh, so your life is more important than being on here to cheer me on, screw you! goodbye!"

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