Highest weight how you felt

Disgusting, fat, ugly, ashamed, tired ..

Maximum density for me was about 350 (I'm 6 feet tall fyi). I don't know for sure because none of my scales went up that high...

I felt like I was wearing a deep sea diving suit out of water.
I'd get home from my very sedentary desk job and have to take a nap just because I'd been awake for 10 hours.
I wore the biggest clothes I could find because I thought it "hid" the fat better.
I researched car seat hip room when I was car shopping because it was the first thing I had to take into consideration.

I'm around 235 now and that feels way better than 350. I still have work to do but I can do normal everyday things and not get all sweaty or rundown now. Part of it is the physical presence of the weight dragging you down, and part of it is the effect of the horrible stuff you eat that makes you get to that weight in the first place. I usually feel good now - I only feel like crap after I eat crappy food. I never made this connection before because I always felt like crap.

I'm 6'2" and my highest weight was around 350. I. Felt. Awful. Physically, I was tired ALL the time - completely lethargic. I work in retail, and I would come home, sit on the couch, and not be able to get back up for like a half hour or more because of back pain and stiff joints. Right now, I'm still in the low 300s, so I still have some of those problems, but now that I'm eating healthier, I have much more energy.

My highest weight was 260. Wish I could say the number on the scale was my wake-up call but it really came down to how I felt about myself. Eventhough I was heavy from the time I was 18 years old until my mid 30's, I still felt confident. I was still cute and people loved me and I had a good life and even met my wonderful hubster. But the bigger I got, the worse I felt about myself - it even got to the point where I tried to think of ways to avoid seeing my own best friends because I was so ashamed.

Mom told me years ago that it's not worth wasting time and energy on something you have no power to change. Good advice! And in this case, the opposite was true. Here I was worrying about soemthing I COULD change and but I was wasting time and energy worrying instead of doing something about it! So November 2009, I pledged that it was time to change - and I've been on my journey ever since.

At 5', 5" my highest weight was 220. I found out when going to a physical after having not been on a scale in two years. I always assumed I was around 200 - I learned I was that heavy when trying out Wii Fit in front of my roommates. It was mortifying, and yet I ignored it, telling myself I didn't look that bad. But at 220 something just snapped. I remembered all the TV shows featuring people that were so large they couldn't walk a parking lot, and they all always said the same thing, "It creeps up on you. You get used to one weight and justify it, and then gain more and more." And I realized I was doing the same thing.

I've always been on the heavier side. I did ballet as a girl, and at the first studio I had lessons at for five years I didn't have a single friend. All of the other girls were so much smaller than me. My mom made me wear a shape control thing under my costumes and for special occasions, which didn't affect me much then but looking back makes me feel she was ashamed of me for not being pretty like the other girls.

I was teased all the time in school - mostly elementary and middle school. I had long, beautiful hair, and I loved to draw and I was smart - and people commented on those things too. But at the end of the day none of it seemed to matter because I was fat - ugly - and certain other kids never let me forget it. In high school I didn't date. I wanted to very badly, but even on the occasion a guy would ask me out, I always thought he must be desperate to ask me, or maybe lost a bet. And I didn't want to be the butt of a joke, so I would decline. That's how low my self-esteem was. I didn't care what I wore, or how I looked. I didn't really get picked on much in high school, but after going through it for so long, the mind set that I wasn't as good as thin people was already hammered in.

I hated shopping for clothes because nothing I liked ever fit.

I lied about my weight on my driver's license, because I was so embarrassed to admit the truth.

I hated every single picture of myself. I don't have many photos of me in college because of this.

Every time I walked in a room, I looked around to see if I was the heaviest person there. I hated myself when it was the case.

I could be funny, so I clung to that, because people liked me better. The flip side of that is I don't know how to express serious emotions, not really. I can't be vulnerable, because I don't feel like I'm worthy of those emotions.

But! This story has a happy ending! Or at least, I'm working towards that. I've lost almost 30 pounds and yes - getting that first digit in your weight to be a 1 is a great feeling! I'm about half way to where I want to be, and I'm so excited. Already my old clothes that I had stashed away over the years for no longer fitting - fit! It's like getting a whole new wardrobe. I feel powerful and strong after a good work out, and every day I love the changes I see in the mirror. I love love love fashion and new clothes. Yes, I still feel self-conscious often, especially when looking through racks of more trendy places while all the 6s and 4s flit around, because I am still not skinny. But that's just another battle I'll have to fight. It helps to remember that they might have had to fight for their size too. And even if not, that they probably also have insecurities, so it's unfair to just think 'oh, well, they're thin, so they have no idea'. I learned that in college hanging out with my thinner friends - the sort of things they worried about with their own appearance, when I had always assumed that after you were at a certain pants size your body image issues would only be petty things. The truth is you never know.

A huge congrats to everyone losing and lost all that baggage, no matter where you start or what your goal is. It takes hard work, and so long as we stick to it we WILL all see our goals reached someday!

My highest weight is 242...Im very unhappy and depressed about it but I wont let that stay in my way...I never thought I would ever get passed 220 but obviously that can happen and I jsut want everyone to know that you dont have tto stay heavy...You have it in you to change and do something different...the weight didnt come on over night so its going to take alot of effort to get back to where I need to be or at least use too...Goal weight is 180 but I would be ok at 200