Is this jealousy or intuition?

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  • portalm
    portalm Posts: 201 Member
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    The fact of the matter guys is they are "Dating" they arent in a relationship!

    He has the right to do what he wants, and he decided that telling her was a good thing. A sign that he is not a liar.

    He may be a nice guy, (WHEN they start a relationship)

    All the ppl saying "Move on" may be correct, but you will never know.

    Perhaps his answer was truthful. Sounds kind of like a block head to me.
  • HMD7703
    HMD7703 Posts: 761 Member
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    Easy women (and men) come in all professions. Just saying. Stripper / Accountant - matters not.
  • SmexAppeal
    SmexAppeal Posts: 858 Member
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    If sleeping around bothers you, I'd find a companion who isn't going to sleep around.
    -wtk
    He hasn't been sleeping around. It just weirds me out that he is taking his ex out for her birthday.
  • babigurl86
    babigurl86 Posts: 138
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    I think its time to move on
    agreed.

    dont say anything,if you do, you'll feel silly and regret it.

    he could be telling you to get a reaction,but that's not important because either way,his made his intentions towards you clear, just move on.

    when people show you who they are ,believe them.
  • sullykat
    sullykat Posts: 461 Member
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    3 months is a long enough time to decide if you want to be in a relationship with someone exclusively. I would be skeptical of this guy too. If it is making you uncomfortable, I would say good bye. I don't see why he has to take his ex out for her birthday. Talking to an ex is one thing, taking them out for their birthday is another. Were you invited out with them? I don't know… I wouldn't like this very much.
  • AzhureSnow
    AzhureSnow Posts: 289 Member
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    It sounds like he doesn't see you guys as exclusive, maybe? I mean, birthday dinner isn't a big deal, but I see a "one-on-one" dinner as a "date", and if the person he is actively dating isn't comfortable with him taking his ex on a date, he should respect that. When my husband and I were in pre-marriage counseling, our pastor said something really smart: "If you're about to do something, and your spouse doesn't like it, it doesn't matter if you think it's right or wrong... what matters is that your spouse doesn't want you to do it and out of respect and love... you shouldn't do it". I know you guys aren't married, but the principle is the same. If he's concerned and caring for the person he's dating, and his actions would upset her, then he shouldn't take those actions. You need to bring it up. You'll just boil over with upset and "i wonder if..." if you don't. If it were me, I'd sit him down at dinner or something and say, "I know we're not super serious, but I would really like to know where we stand before you take your ex out next week.... do I have any reason to worry? Are we headed down the path of an exclusive relationship? I just feel a little unsure, and it would mean a lot if you could reassure me that I have nothing to worry about". If he gets pissed after that... dump him.
  • kaned_ferret
    kaned_ferret Posts: 618 Member
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    Leave. Walk away. Do not bother wasting your time, caring, dignity or anything else on this.
  • jealous_loser
    jealous_loser Posts: 395
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    Sounds like your on again off again is his casual sex. Maybe you should talk to him and make sure you guys are on the same page.

    This is kinda my thought too. Maybe he isn't sure what your relationship is? If you do not have a formal "we are only sleeping with each other" talk, how is he supposed to know? You say you guys are on and off and it has only been 3 months. Do you want it to get serious?
  • SmexAppeal
    SmexAppeal Posts: 858 Member
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    Easy women (and men) come in all professions. Just saying. Stripper / Accountant - matters not.
    This is very true. That's why I stated would I feel the same if she were an accountant. Do I have a natural prejudice?
  • AprilRenewed
    AprilRenewed Posts: 691 Member
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    Well, it doesn't sound as though you two are very close or intimate. If that's true, then I should think you shouldn't be too upset by it. Have you two decided to be monogamous? If you have, then I'd have an issue. If you haven't, then...try not to. I probably still would, but if you haven't decided to just make it the two of you yet, then you have no reason to be.

    If you've decided to only date and see each other, then I'd have a huge issue because there are very clear lines that I draw in such circumstances. Thank goodness my husband has the same lines! Basically, if you've decided it's serious enough to just be the two of you, then neither of you should even put yourselves into a tempting situation, a situation that could lead to, "Well, we had a few drinks, and before I knew it...one thing led to another..."

    This would certainly qualify as that.
  • shamr0ck
    shamr0ck Posts: 296 Member
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    You are not in a serious relationship, it doesn't sound like you're exclusive, so what he does on his own time is his business. If you're worried about it and want to elevate the relationship, talk to him. If he doesn't want exclusivity and you don't want to play the field, then you have the option to seek company elsewhere.

    He didn't have to tell you he was taking her out, so there is that.
  • Katbaran
    Katbaran Posts: 605 Member
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    "We can't. She's not coming to my house."

    Dry sense of humor?

    That's along the lines of what I thought, too. As in: "We can't. She's not coming to MY house." Like there is no way I'm taking her home with me.

    Just a thought. You know him better than we do.
  • mslack01
    mslack01 Posts: 823 Member
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    "We can't. She's not coming to my house."

    Dry sense of humor?


    ^^^^This maybe?
  • Maude_Lewbowski
    Maude_Lewbowski Posts: 395 Member
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    So, if she was an accountant who was part of the threesome you wouldn't be jealous? I don't get your logic here.

    I would be suspicious of several things you mentioned and I would also move on. This post is a minefield of red flags.

    Don't you think you deserve better than this? Surely you do.
  • therealangd
    therealangd Posts: 1,861 Member
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    Personally, I'd probably move on and find someone else to date. Someone who told me he 'can't' sleep with his ex because she won't be going to his house doesn't sound like someone I'd be interested in.

    This is what I'm thinking too.
  • knighthood77
    knighthood77 Posts: 47
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    Not cool. He should at least invite you.
  • mikeyrp
    mikeyrp Posts: 1,616 Member
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    It doesn't seem like you are in a position where anything you do will be 'right'.

    If you want a serious relationship with the guy you have to tell him that. Tell him if he want to sleep with her he should have the guts to split up with you first - and f he doesn't then you have to trust him.
  • Diary_Queen
    Diary_Queen Posts: 1,314 Member
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    On again off again through the course of three months seems like more of an upfront sign before the whole conversation about the ex. I have only re-dated a person after being 'off' two times in my life. Both times were mistakes. They were the same person with a new shiny lie to 'get me back'.

    It does sound like a casual thing that you're putting constraints on. If you haven't discussed exclusivity, then he's free to do as he pleases. Not that he SHOULD... not that it's right... not that it will be a good choice, but he's a free guy until there's a monogamous committment made between the two of you. MADE not, just 'oh i think we're being monogamous now cause he's not doing anyone else'.

    If you want to say something to him, print this screen and hand it to him. Don't argue. Don't yell. Don't storm off... sit, talk quietly and calmly and then make the appropriate decision from there. If he's not willing to talk about it openly and honestly, then he's not willing to have a relationship.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    Move on...pretty simple!
    Hey I hear you're single now...call me.
    FR sent....lol
  • rossi02
    rossi02 Posts: 549 Member
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    When someone tries to tell you something about them.. listen! It seems that you two are looking for different things. If he was into you and wanting to make what you have a real relationship, he wouldn't be taking his ex out to dinner and saying that they can't have sex because of logistics. I would cut your ties with him and move on. Who knows, maybe that will make him see what he's lost with you. Then if he starts to pursue you again, you could tell him why you moved on and what you need.

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