Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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kelly_c_77 wrote: »
Ditto. How awful.pofoster21 wrote: »Original Poster who I will not identify for her sake, I'm glad I read it. I will reply with thoughts of my experience (and for those of you reading my experience is not at all the same, but something in what I'm saying may help her or someone else)
You have dealt with a lot. It does not matter what your orientation is in so far as what happened was in NO way, shape or form any fault of your own. At All. You are blameless. (HUGE HUGS). I am so sorry that you had the experiences you did.
**WARNING FOR THOSE WHO MIGHT BE TRIGGERED BY VIOLENCE - SKIP THE REST OF THIS POST PLEASE, THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS UPSET SOMEONE**
When I was 20 I met an acquaintance through a co-worker. He was a wealthy physician. He invited me to a barbecue. I was in no way attracted to him but I thought he was just being friendly and he was "known" so I said yes. I was drugged (the date rape drug) and have no recollection of what happened, but why would I be drugged if nothing happened?
The same year I was taken by two men in a situation where I thought there was a good chance I'd be killed and I was raped by one. I talked my way out of being raped by the second. I talked the first into a condom. I talked my way into being let go. I was shaken and I (kick myself for this one now) chalked it up to a hard learning experience and I moved on without reporting it and without telling anyone. Until 10 years later someone threatened by then 2 year old daughter. I took care of that situation IMMEDIATELY and have entirely put that person out of my life. I had flashbacks. I had nightmares. I sought counseling and was told I had PTSD. Counseling really helped me enormously. I reframed the incident so that I was strong and did everything I could to protect myself. I worked through the issues and I have not had issues since and that has been a number of years ago. Please seek counseling. Call the hotline number that you see for victims of ___ crimes even if you feel it does not apply to you because they can put you in touch with counselors. HUGE HUGE HUGS.
The first few counselors I saw were batty, find one you can work with. What happened does not define me nor do I think about it often. It is now just a tiny moment in time. You will get there. I believe in you and your bright future.
Oh my goodness. I am so sorry for this experience. I have nothing to say. Hugs.
Hugs to you, but mostly I'm heartened to read how this does not define you. You're one of the posters I look up to as being a particularly strong person, and reading this has made me have even more respect for you. I had my own nasty experience with a man and a lack of consent years ago (nowhere near as awful as what you described, but certainly illegal) and the thing I kicked myself about the most was the fact that I told no-one, even though there was a police van right outside where it happened so the opportunity was immediately there. Partly I didn't think anything could be done since I couldn't have positively IDed the guy, but mostly embarrassment, shame etc. Now I realise I had nothing to be embarrassed about. I am (and was) a confident and capable young woman, yet I didn't feel able/worthy of that policeman's time so I didn't bother him. How ridiculous. It reassures me that someone as clearly awesome at life as you can come from such a place and grow and get better. If this happened now, I know I would react differently. And I definitely wouldn't blame myself!
All this talk of sexual assault makes me wonder how many women have suffered this. I'll share my story that I have not talked about in many years. **IF YOU ARE BOTHERED BY ABUSE STORIES, STOP READING NOW! **
I was raped when I was 15, by my "boyfriend" and I was told I asked for it. I had indeed had a sexual relationship with this man (he was 22, and totally doing illegal stuff by dating me). One night I was at his house, and a bunch of his friends showed up, they were all drinking and smoking pot. I walked in the room and Steve said "hey ya'll want me to f*** her in front of ya'll? They all egged him on, and although I fought him, he forced me to the floor and ripped my clothes off and did what he wanted, it was awful, I was on my period at the time too, which made it seem much worse to me. I was crying and yelling at him to stop and all of a sudden, his younger brother came in and pulled him off me and beat the crap out of him. I was so thankful to him, yet so embarrassed and appalled at the other 4 guys in the room who sat there and did nothing while he was raping me right in front of them. Anyway, his brother took me home and went in the house with me to tell my dad what had happened, I was so impressed by him standing up against his brother to help me out. My dad was furious, but had the sense to call the sheriff and not take matters into his own hands. Anyway the Sheriff busted him for drug possession and a charge of statutory rape. I had been told by several people I asked for it and I refused to testify against him in court for this reason, I did not want anymore embarrassment. He ended up doing 3 years in prison for the drug charges and that was it. After I was married I ran into him in the grocery store where I was working one day and had a panic attack. It was a small town, and my boss asked him to leave the store after managing to get me to tell him what had happened. He was then not welcome in our store. That was OH so long ago, and I have not let it define me for sure.
Wow, that is an absolutely horrifying thing to go through. I am so, so sorry. I'm so glad someone there was willing to help you...I can't believe that many others could seriously sit and watch. You're very brave..good for you for not letting it define you. Hug, hugs, and more hugs.
THIS0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »Mountain - 3!!!
YAY0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »@berlynnwall don't feel left out! We all get behind sometimes but just jump back in we don't want to lose you! (Or anyone else for that matter!
)
Thanks
. I will jump in when I can!
Never!0 -
WestCoastJo82 wrote: »WestCoastJo82 wrote: »So not sure if I should put this here or in the batcave - so maybe I'll do both since this page gets crazy fast - but here's my fitbit charging tip: Leave your charging cable in the bathroom! I have the ChargeHR, and just plug it in when I get in the shower. I've never run out of battery and you aren't supposed to wear it in the shower anyways.
Thank you for listening to my Public Service Announce, now back to your regularly scheduled confessions.
Good tip. I hate the charger for the Fitbit Flex (I have to rubber band the piece into the charger or it won't charge). Did they improve it for the ChargeHR? I asked for one for my birthday but now I may have to buy it myself. I think this is a clever idea though!
I don't know what the flex charger looks like, but it sounds like it's been improved. It's basically a short cell-phone charging cable (USB at one end, mini-usb-like thing at the other end that plugs into the Fitbit).
Yes, definite improvement it sounds like.0 -
@just_ceci inspired me to post this. Me at my heaviest vs, earlier this month. I started my weight loss last August but was already about 20lbs down from that heaviest pic.
Great work, both you and @Just_Ceci0 -
RIP Nicholas Winton, who saved hundreds of children from the Nazi holocaust. He's just died aged 106, but this little clip is from a while ago. Sniff.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_nFuJAF5F0&feature=youtu.be 0 -
kelly_c_77 wrote: »So, I failed at the grocery store...I'm way over goal already and haven't had dinner yet. Oh well, whatever.
But anyway, after I ordered our half pound of cheese at the deli, my son politely asked the woman working, "Can I get 3 pounds of kittens, please"??? OMG, everyone in line busted out laughing, including me! Where does he come up with this stuff?
OMG that is SO sweet......or gruesome, depending on what he meant
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orangesmartie wrote: »Mountain - 3!!!
Woo Hoo!!!!0 -
girldownsouth wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »
Ooh that sounds good, what happens during that one?pofoster21 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »
That will be great Ceci!!
Well, dang. I'm not in South Carolina or Texas.
Anybody near Nashville, TN?
No but I really want to do the country music marathon. Interested?
Country music at every mile marker. Seriously want to do it? I am in! I signed up years ago then didn't go as I didn't want to travel by myself. I have since got over that and travel by myself to races all the time. I was just thinking the other day about signing up again. I haven't raced in TN!
Yeah I'd love to! And have a little holiday at the same time
Might be up @girldownsouth 's alley also
Yep, country music might make the running part better! In fact, what would definitely get me round a marathon would be if you could get Dierks Bentley to run just in front of me! That'd be great...
Okay, guys, 4/30/16 is our date! I'll have to think about which country artist I would want to run behind. I love Eric Church, but he's taken. As is Toby Keith. Not sure about Chris Young. I love Gary Allen's voice but he isn't the most handsome man in the world... Hmmm. I'll have to think on it a bit. Start training!
@girldownsouth wanna be my training partner?
Might need to look into flights etc first, but sure, running can never be a bad thing.
Come on no hedging now. You are in! We can add our marathon training to this (of course you only need 4 months so you don't need to start until Jan. 1st...0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Okay, it arrived. I admit I ordered the small thinking that was appropriate for women...its a tad bit tiny (only in 2nd hole) but thinking that is a good reminder to keep weight off! Losing weight in my wrists was definitely a plus. I love seeing my wrist bones.
Charging now.
I believe that while you are exercising you are suppose to wear it half way up your forearm to get an accurate HR and calorie burn.
That is why I could not get one, the L fit my wrist, but would not fit my forearm.
You might be OK with a large @Italian_Buju, depending on where on your forearm you tested. The instructions say just two or three fingers above your wrist bone when you're working out (one finger above at other times), and it's supposed to be tighter during workouts, too. You don't want to hurt blood flow, but it is supposed to be tighter during exercise. I usually don't adjust the strap when I work out, I just shove it up higher and figure that will deal with the increased tightness that is supposed to happen.0 -
riderfangal wrote: »@pofoster21 yay for the fitbit. My email is posted in tne thread in tbe batcave if you want to add me.
Also the shoes from yesterday were fab!
I got a few people but added my email too at the end. If I missed you let me know. I didn't necessarily get everyone and may have added some not even in this thread! I stole Brenda's friend list. 0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »@pofoster21 yay for the fitbit. My email is posted in tne thread in tbe batcave if you want to add me.
Also the shoes from yesterday were fab!
I got a few people but added my email too at the end. If I missed you let me know. I didn't necessarily get everyone and may have added some not even in this thread! I stole Brenda's friend list.
I hope you did not take my hubby, he will be weirded out by that
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pofoster21 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »@pofoster21 yay for the fitbit. My email is posted in tne thread in tbe batcave if you want to add me.
Also the shoes from yesterday were fab!
I got a few people but added my email too at the end. If I missed you let me know. I didn't necessarily get everyone and may have added some not even in this thread! I stole Brenda's friend list.
I hope you did not take my hubby, he will be weirded out by that
David, Steven, Susan and Amber on my friends list are not on here.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »@pofoster21 yay for the fitbit. My email is posted in tne thread in tbe batcave if you want to add me.
Also the shoes from yesterday were fab!
I got a few people but added my email too at the end. If I missed you let me know. I didn't necessarily get everyone and may have added some not even in this thread! I stole Brenda's friend list.
Everyone on my list is from here except: Heidi, Jamie, Brianna, and Jennifer H. You can just add everyone else..if that helps! 0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Okay, it arrived. I admit I ordered the small thinking that was appropriate for women...its a tad bit tiny (only in 2nd hole) but thinking that is a good reminder to keep weight off! Losing weight in my wrists was definitely a plus. I love seeing my wrist bones.
When I got my HR, I thought the small was going to be too little too. Luckily I have small wrists, but I don't think I am going to lose much there.
Its a hair tighter than I would like, I have to have it on the last hole, but I am too lazy to send it back. I'll make it work!0 -
@bkhamill I cannot fathom how ANYONE could think that watching that was OK, or how that was in any way your fault. I am so sorry. And as others said, kudos to the younger brother. It was one thing to rip him off and beat him up but going in and telling your dad was amazing. That is a guy with character.0
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raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »spacequiztime wrote: »
Good tastesraelynnsmama52512 wrote: »
Confession: I will be 24 years old October 4th, and I still watch and love Blue's Clues! Only Steve, I don't want any of that Joe bs! :laugh:When my daughter was a toddler, Blues Clues was her favorite. The same show 5 days in a row. All summer long. (I was a teacher then and had summers off.)
There was only one episode with Joe I liked/like, and only because it had Randy Travis voicing a character. (I'm a big Randy Travis fan, it's sad to see how things have gone for him lately )
I agree. I hope he can pull himself together again.0 -
All these are @Italian_Buju:Italian_Buju wrote: »I think I must have broken a mirror or something I am unaware of......I had a hellishly rough day.....so glad it is over....grief bacon will NOT win tonight!!
Like seriously though, do I have a curse on me lately or something?? Every single thing that could have went wrong today did....
I’ve been asking myself the same question…It seems like everything has been getting worse this year since February. What happened?Italian_Buju wrote: »
I talked until I am blue in the face.....it changes NOTHING!kellienw335 wrote: »I didn't check the thread on Saturday or Sunday and came back to 20+ pages this morning. I had a pretty good weekend with the family. It is a week before TOM, so I kept snacking on ALL the food, didn't log food yesterday, and gave up on Saturday. Today is a new day and I'll do better, so the pity party is cancelled and I'm moving on with my life.
@Italian_Buju - Sorry things aren't going well with your SO. Can you talk to him about what's wrong or is it just too much stuff? Feel free to vent here. Hugs! And can't believe that guy left you at the club! Kudos to you for being honest with him!
This is actually an annual fight we have that I am just refusing to move on from, because usually he just waits it out until the storm passes and the next year does nothing to make it better, and I am rather fed up.
OMG this sounds so familiar too. I’ve been having the same issues at the same two times during the year every year since 2009 (when his dad died). I talk but it really is like talking to a brick wall. I get nothing in return and no changes.Italian_Buju wrote: »Ok, I give up!
Seriously, I GIVE UP!
Oh no. This whole post was terrible. I feel so bad for you and your son. This kind of stuff is the stuff that makes me have no more faith in humanity.
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pofoster21 wrote: »@bkhamill I cannot fathom how ANYONE could think that watching that was OK, or how that was in any way your fault. I am so sorry. And as others said, kudos to the younger brother. It was one thing to rip him off and beat him up but going in and telling your dad was amazing. That is a guy with character.
Thanks, and yes, he was pretty good guy!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Okay, it arrived. I admit I ordered the small thinking that was appropriate for women...its a tad bit tiny (only in 2nd hole) but thinking that is a good reminder to keep weight off! Losing weight in my wrists was definitely a plus. I love seeing my wrist bones.
When I got my HR, I thought the small was going to be too little too. Luckily I have small wrists, but I don't think I am going to lose much there.
Its a hair tighter than I would like, I have to have it on the last hole, but I am too lazy to send it back. I'll make it work!
Did too much editing again removing that picture!0 -
WestCoastJo82 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Okay, it arrived. I admit I ordered the small thinking that was appropriate for women...its a tad bit tiny (only in 2nd hole) but thinking that is a good reminder to keep weight off! Losing weight in my wrists was definitely a plus. I love seeing my wrist bones.
Charging now.
I believe that while you are exercising you are suppose to wear it half way up your forearm to get an accurate HR and calorie burn.
That is why I could not get one, the L fit my wrist, but would not fit my forearm.
You might be OK with a large @Italian_Buju, depending on where on your forearm you tested. The instructions say just two or three fingers above your wrist bone when you're working out (one finger above at other times), and it's supposed to be tighter during workouts, too. You don't want to hurt blood flow, but it is supposed to be tighter during exercise. I usually don't adjust the strap when I work out, I just shove it up higher and figure that will deal with the increased tightness that is supposed to happen.
this is what I plan to do...no way could i get this on my forearm!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »@pofoster21 yay for the fitbit. My email is posted in tne thread in tbe batcave if you want to add me.
Also the shoes from yesterday were fab!
I got a few people but added my email too at the end. If I missed you let me know. I didn't necessarily get everyone and may have added some not even in this thread! I stole Brenda's friend list.
I hope you did not take my hubby, he will be weirded out by that
David, Steven, Susan and Amber on my friends list are not on here.
Ok, i stayed away from the boys, but may have added the girls... but they haven't accepted. 0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »@pofoster21 yay for the fitbit. My email is posted in tne thread in tbe batcave if you want to add me.
Also the shoes from yesterday were fab!
I got a few people but added my email too at the end. If I missed you let me know. I didn't necessarily get everyone and may have added some not even in this thread! I stole Brenda's friend list.
I hope you did not take my hubby, he will be weirded out by that
i did accidentally get a guy named Kelly (i think its a guy, looks like a boy ghost)... he can delete me if that is him!0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »So, I failed at the grocery store...I'm way over goal already and haven't had dinner yet. Oh well, whatever.
But anyway, after I ordered our half pound of cheese at the deli, my son politely asked the woman working, "Can I get 3 pounds of kittens, please"??? OMG, everyone in line busted out laughing, including me! Where does he come up with this stuff?
OMG that is SO sweet......or gruesome, depending on what he meant
That was my first reaction.... was he planning on eating kittens? 0 -
(((HAPPY DANCE))) My home loan/assumption is approved as of today. Paperwork still ongoing but I'm approved all by my lonesome self all on my own to take over the loan that my ex and I took out. Now my little fixer-upper is allllll MINE! (soon).
ETA: Snoopy dancing happy!
Good Stuff!0 -
WestCoastJo82 wrote: »So not sure if I should put this here or in the batcave - so maybe I'll do both since this page gets crazy fast - but here's my fitbit charging tip: Leave your charging cable in the bathroom! I have the ChargeHR, and just plug it in when I get in the shower. I've never run out of battery and you aren't supposed to wear it in the shower anyways.
Thank you for listening to my Public Service Announce, now back to your regularly scheduled confessions.
Good tip. I hate the charger for the Fitbit Flex (I have to rubber band the piece into the charger or it won't charge). Did they improve it for the ChargeHR? I asked for one for my birthday but now I may have to buy it myself. I think this is a clever idea though!
I don't understand how it charges enough to last just during a shower? Also, doesn't that ruin the battery? I always wait until my Flex tells me it is low and then I charge it a few hours until it is full......0 -
So Monday I went to the urgent care after my physical therapy and I have a tooth/gum infection. I'm on antibiotics and she also gave me some pain pills. I felt so terrible yesterday that I called in from work. My tonsils and lymph nodes were so swollen. I'm already feeling better thanks to the antibiotics. I didn't get home until 8:30 on Monday. It was a long exhausting day. I'm very afraid of doctors so you know it's serious if I actually go. At least I should be okay by my birthday (Saturday).
Things are still bad on the relationship front. I'm very frustrated. I'm finally at the point where I think we are going to end things which sucks.
I have a bunch of responses to posts coming up so I apologize in advance. I finally got caught up.
Glad you got some medical attention, that infection wasn't going to get better on its own!
And... about the relationship... FWIW, I think you're making the right decision. Based on what seems to be lackluster effort on his part, I'm not sure anything is salvageable. It takes a LOT of work to get past cheating.0 -
RIP Nicholas Winton, who saved hundreds of children from the Nazi holocaust. He's just died aged 106, but this little clip is from a while ago. Sniff.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6_nFuJAF5F0&feature=youtu.be
I could not get the clip to play, but that is really sad! R.I.P. Sir Hero!!0 -
(((HAPPY DANCE))) My home loan/assumption is approved as of today. Paperwork still ongoing but I'm approved all by my lonesome self all on my own to take over the loan that my ex and I took out. Now my little fixer-upper is allllll MINE! (soon).
ETA: Snoopy dancing happy!
Excellent!0 -
WestCoastJo82 wrote: »So not sure if I should put this here or in the batcave - so maybe I'll do both since this page gets crazy fast - but here's my fitbit charging tip: Leave your charging cable in the bathroom! I have the ChargeHR, and just plug it in when I get in the shower. I've never run out of battery and you aren't supposed to wear it in the shower anyways.
Thank you for listening to my Public Service Announce, now back to your regularly scheduled confessions.
Did yours come with a plug? I only got the USB piece?0
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