Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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kellienw335 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I'm trying to stay upbeat and positive about it, but I am so over this flare-up already. I WANT TO GET OFF THIS STUPID COUCH. BY MYSELF.
I'm pretty much at the most severe stage of the flare up right now--violent jerking convulsions of my upper body, an almost complete loss of balance and walking ability, and function impairment in my legs so that I can't even propel myself into a standing position alone. This stinks. *bratty pout*
Prayers and hugs for you. Does it just affect your lower body? Is your husband home?
Thanks.
Yes, my husband is home--Luckily right now his course load is pretty light (He's studying for a Masters degree in Petroleum Engineering and the summer session doesn't really have the courses he needs) and he only studies for two hours in the morning and gets home around 1:00 PM. He has to help me get everywhere and do everything, so even when he's working he would come home for lunch break to help me get out of bed and get something to eat.
I refuse to have anyone else come over and care for me when I'm in the midst of a flare up, so I manage by myself when my husband can't be around. This generally involves a lot of dragging myself around on the floor when I'm not strong enough to use a walker, but I still refuse to have anyone else see me in this state. Pride, I guess.
It affects several parts of my body. My upper torso jerks forward convulsively and continuously, as though you were standing and someone pushed you hard in the back and your torso shoots forward. The jerking is so violent that my ribs are usually very sore and painful after a couple of hours of it. During mild flare-ups, I only convulse when standing. During the more severe ones, I convulse while standing, sitting, and even lying down.
It impairs my leg function so that they're about as useful as jell-O--I can't propel myself upward from a seated position or support my full weight using my legs, which is one of the main reasons that I can't walk during flare-ups. They buckle under me very quickly, and if I have to try to walk, I have to move quickly because only momentum is keeping me upright--if I stop I'll just fall.
I also suffer from a loss of balance, so even when the convulsions stop and my legs start to feel a little stronger (this is during recovery when I start to be able to walk alone again), I have to take very, very tiny steps and fully concentrate on them, so that even walking 5 feet across a room is absolutely exhausting.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »I'm trying to stay upbeat and positive about it, but I am so over this flare-up already. I WANT TO GET OFF THIS STUPID COUCH. BY MYSELF.
I'm pretty much at the most severe stage of the flare up right now--violent jerking convulsions of my upper body, an almost complete loss of balance and walking ability, and function impairment in my legs so that I can't even propel myself into a standing position alone. This stinks. *bratty pout*
sending you love, sweetie
@Susieq_1994 That sounds awful!! Praying for your quick recovery.riderfangal wrote: »@Susieq_1994 echoing others in hoping you feel better soon!!MissKalhan wrote: »@susieq_1994 sending lots of positive vibes your way lovely!
Thank you all so much! The thoughts and support is appreciated very much. 0 -
Interesting you say that. When I've watched the show Extreme Couponers (NO JUDGEMENT!) I've thought to myself "They're just really organised hoarders".@Italian_Buju thank you so much for sharing this.
i'm a hoarder. which i always have to quantify with "not like the ppl on the tv shows." they should have a hoarders show where the person has 30 jars of tomato sauce, 20 boxes of pasta, 100 rolls of paper towels, 120 rolls of tp, etc. etc.
but as long as i keep my place relatively clean, instead of having a problem, i'm just a Super Couponer!
My sister has confided to me that she has hoarding tendencies. She buys things like school supplies because the sale at Staples was 'too good not to'. All her kids are long out of school, so she ends up donating them to schools in less affluent areas. She does the same with craft supplies. We have an 'arrangement' that I'll be the one to sort out her craft room if she dies.
no judgement, i totally used to watch all of those couponer shows and i was SO JEALOUS!!! i want 36 bottles of diet dr pepper for .56 cents!
Now I want 36 bottles of diet Dr. Pepper for .56 cents and I don't even drink diet Dr. Pepper.
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kelly_c_77 wrote: »May not be appropriate for @Susieq_1994!
Confession: I found out last night that a friend I used to work with has just been charged with second-degree murder of his wife, who has been missing since November. I'm having a hard time and am absolutely shocked, and still don't really believe it, even though the police quotes say he's been concealing the body at his home for the past 8 months. It just doesn't seem to compute at all against the person I remember.
HOLY! That's crazy...I would have a hard time believing it too! That's insane!
We must live in the same province, @hnsaunde. The murdered woman was a friend of a friend and my Facebook is blowing up this morning about this. From what I've read, you're not the only one who would never have suspected him...but I guess that's the thing about the kind of person who can do something like this, right? There's usually a personality disorder involved that means the person is a very, very good liar and a master manipulator.
I would have to say most of the abusive people I've known have been super charming and most people don't ever guess at what they're really like. I realize it is anecdotal, but a lot of people used to tell me they wished they had my mother for instance.
From experience, I have to say I completely agree. It's horrible the way an abuser can carry on in public like everything is so normal and they're SO WELL-LIKED by everyone they meet. It makes me sick.0 -
raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »@Susieq_1994 Praying for you and hoping you're better soon!!! ❤️
I have to reschedule my doctor's appointment because apparently the doctor won't be in the office that day. I'm hoping I can be seen soon because I'm at the end of my rope with my depression, anxiety, and other issues. I'm so over "faking it", I'm NOT happy and I'm NOT okay!
Sorry you're having a terrible day! I hope you can get in to see the doctor soon.0 -
raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »@Susieq_1994 Praying for you and hoping you're better soon!!! ❤️
I have to reschedule my doctor's appointment because apparently the doctor won't be in the office that day. I'm hoping I can be seen soon because I'm at the end of my rope with my depression, anxiety, and other issues. I'm so over "faking it", I'm NOT happy and I'm NOT okay!
Thank you! I hope you can see your doctor as soon as possible--I know exactly how it feels to be at the end of your rope. Positive thoughts your way for a quick and near rescheduling date!0 -
@Susieq_1994 Sending my thoughts and prayers your way.
@KylerJaye Good luck with the dude tonight! Hoping he's worthy of your time. 0 -
raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »@Susieq_1994 Praying for you and hoping you're better soon!!! ❤️
I have to reschedule my doctor's appointment because apparently the doctor won't be in the office that day. I'm hoping I can be seen soon because I'm at the end of my rope with my depression, anxiety, and other issues. I'm so over "faking it", I'm NOT happy and I'm NOT okay!
Good for you! It is totally OK to not be OK. Get yourself the help you need!0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »May not be appropriate for @Susieq_1994!
Confession: I found out last night that a friend I used to work with has just been charged with second-degree murder of his wife, who has been missing since November. I'm having a hard time and am absolutely shocked, and still don't really believe it, even though the police quotes say he's been concealing the body at his home for the past 8 months. It just doesn't seem to compute at all against the person I remember.
HOLY! That's crazy...I would have a hard time believing it too! That's insane!
We must live in the same province, @hnsaunde. The murdered woman was a friend of a friend and my Facebook is blowing up this morning about this. From what I've read, you're not the only one who would never have suspected him...but I guess that's the thing about the kind of person who can do something like this, right? There's usually a personality disorder involved that means the person is a very, very good liar and a master manipulator.
I would have to say most of the abusive people I've known have been super charming and most people don't ever guess at what they're really like. I realize it is anecdotal, but a lot of people used to tell me they wished they had my mother for instance.
From experience, I have to say I completely agree. It's horrible the way an abuser can carry on in public like everything is so normal and they're SO WELL-LIKED by everyone they meet. It makes me sick.
That is true. I've been involved with a few abusive guys in my past (only one was physical - my kids' father). They were always totally different people in public than they were behind closed doors. The last one, I stayed with him longer than I normally would have only because all of my friends liked him so much. I kept thinking somehow I could make him be that guy he was in public, all the time. Alas, that wasn't possible.0 -
kellienw335 wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »@Susieq_1994 Praying for you and hoping you're better soon!!! ❤️
I have to reschedule my doctor's appointment because apparently the doctor won't be in the office that day. I'm hoping I can be seen soon because I'm at the end of my rope with my depression, anxiety, and other issues. I'm so over "faking it", I'm NOT happy and I'm NOT okay!
Sorry you're having a terrible day! I hope you can get in to see the doctor soon.
Thank you. I'm hoping I can too.
I'm pretty sure y'all are tired of hearing me talk about my problems, but I don't have any one else to talk to besides my husband when he's here. So, thanks for that! ❤️
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »@Susieq_1994 Praying for you and hoping you're better soon!!! ❤️
I have to reschedule my doctor's appointment because apparently the doctor won't be in the office that day. I'm hoping I can be seen soon because I'm at the end of my rope with my depression, anxiety, and other issues. I'm so over "faking it", I'm NOT happy and I'm NOT okay!
Thank you! I hope you can see your doctor as soon as possible--I know exactly how it feels to be at the end of your rope. Positive thoughts your way for a quick and near rescheduling date!
Thank you ❤️
I'm about to call and see what they have available.
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quiksylver296 wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »@Susieq_1994 Praying for you and hoping you're better soon!!! ❤️
I have to reschedule my doctor's appointment because apparently the doctor won't be in the office that day. I'm hoping I can be seen soon because I'm at the end of my rope with my depression, anxiety, and other issues. I'm so over "faking it", I'm NOT happy and I'm NOT okay!
Good for you! It is totally OK to not be OK. Get yourself the help you need!
Thank you ❤️
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So I just wrote a poor-me pity party post that MFP ate instead of posting. After skimming what's going on here though, I think that's good, I have nothing to be having a pity party about.
Hugs and happy thoughts to everyone and good luck tonight @KylerJaye0 -
@Susieq_1994 I hope you feel better soon! Stay strong, girl... we all know you're awesome! I wish I could send you some airplane pictures to maybe cheer you up a little.... but unfortunately the clouds were so dark and heavy when I flew to and from Punta Cana that I didn't see anything worth getting. Just a constant blanket of cloud
I've been watching Survivor today after a LONG hiatus away from this show. The thing about shows like these are that they give me huge adrenaline boosts. It's all the excitement, people blind-sighting each other... people I like winning challenges when they thought they were going home, etc. It's the same thing when singers perform really well on The Voice. My boyfriend doesn't understand how these happy adrenaline rushes come out of reality TV
The guy I want to win won an Immunity challenge (the underdog... I usually go for the underdogs...), so I was up out of my seat dancing around. Maybe I'm just a dork. 0 -
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raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »@Susieq_1994 Praying for you and hoping you're better soon!!! ❤️
I have to reschedule my doctor's appointment because apparently the doctor won't be in the office that day. I'm hoping I can be seen soon because I'm at the end of my rope with my depression, anxiety, and other issues. I'm so over "faking it", I'm NOT happy and I'm NOT okay!
Sorry you're having a terrible day! I hope you can get in to see the doctor soon.
Thank you. I'm hoping I can too.
I'm pretty sure y'all are tired of hearing me talk about my problems, but I don't have any one else to talk to besides my husband when he's here. So, thanks for that! ❤️
Everyone is allowed to cry about their problems as much as they want in here--it's totally okay! Talk away.
You too, @WestCoastJo82... Pity parties are welcome. I'm right in the middle of my own right now, so anyone else feeling sorry for themselves are all welcome to come and cry about it so I don't feel so bratty for whining. 0 -
@Susieq_1994 and @raelynnsmama52512 I hope you both feel better soon.0
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YOU'RE BACK! Welcome! Any shrimp left for us? I love shrimp so much... 0 -
Welcome back!
YUM! Shrimp...0 -
raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »@Susieq_1994 Praying for you and hoping you're better soon!!! ❤️
I have to reschedule my doctor's appointment because apparently the doctor won't be in the office that day. I'm hoping I can be seen soon because I'm at the end of my rope with my depression, anxiety, and other issues. I'm so over "faking it", I'm NOT happy and I'm NOT okay!
Thank you! I hope you can see your doctor as soon as possible--I know exactly how it feels to be at the end of your rope. Positive thoughts your way for a quick and near rescheduling date!
Thank you ❤️
I'm about to call and see what they have available.
Hope you get an appt quickly and can get some relief from the way you're feeling.0 -
WestCoastJo82 wrote: »So I just wrote a poor-me pity party post that MFP ate instead of posting. After skimming what's going on here though, I think that's good, I have nothing to be having a pity party about.
Hugs and happy thoughts to everyone and good luck tonight @KylerJaye
Hey! Just because you feel like your problems are somehow less important than others, you are entitled to your feelings. Your pity party is welcome here. 0 -
MissKalhan wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »@Susieq_1994 I read a good book over the weekend. It is called What She left Behind by Ellen Marie Wiseman. Its about a young woman committed to an insane asylum in the 1930's by her father because she wouldn't marry who he wanted her too. Was so good I was sad when it ended
I'm going to add that to my Goodreads list. Sounds like it could be up my alley!
Me, too! I wonder if I order it off Amazon if it would arrive in time for my vacation?
ETA: I bought it and it's supposed to arrive by tomorrow. I love Amazon Prime! I also bought her other book, The Plum Tree, just because. Can't have too many books for vacation!
I have the kindle app for my tablet and Amazon has what is called Kindle Unlimited where for $9.95/month you can download up to 10 books at a time for that one price. Best thing ever!!
I also downloaded the Plum Tree . Going to start that one tonight lol
I've tried an e-reader. I just prefer real paper books...
Count me in as a real book reader. I got a kindle for christmas years ago, I just couldn't get into it. I recently signed up with the library in this City, man oh man I am in love all over again. So many books and so little time!
I prefer real books too! I got a Kobo a few years ago (Canada's big book store chain is Chapters, they have the Kobo e-reader) and I ended up using it to play solitaire. I never downloaded a single book.0 -
MissKalhan wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »@Susieq_1994 I read a good book over the weekend. It is called What She left Behind by Ellen Marie Wiseman. Its about a young woman committed to an insane asylum in the 1930's by her father because she wouldn't marry who he wanted her too. Was so good I was sad when it ended
I'm going to add that to my Goodreads list. Sounds like it could be up my alley!
Me, too! I wonder if I order it off Amazon if it would arrive in time for my vacation?
ETA: I bought it and it's supposed to arrive by tomorrow. I love Amazon Prime! I also bought her other book, The Plum Tree, just because. Can't have too many books for vacation!
I have the kindle app for my tablet and Amazon has what is called Kindle Unlimited where for $9.95/month you can download up to 10 books at a time for that one price. Best thing ever!!
I also downloaded the Plum Tree . Going to start that one tonight lol
I've tried an e-reader. I just prefer real paper books...
Count me in as a real book reader. I got a kindle for christmas years ago, I just couldn't get into it. I recently signed up with the library in this City, man oh man I am in love all over again. So many books and so little time!
I prefer real books too! I got a Kobo a few years ago (Canada's big book store chain is Chapters, they have the Kobo e-reader) and I ended up using it to play solitaire. I never downloaded a single book.
I am totally in the minority here. I read all my books on my tablet. A friend bought me a book I was really wanting to read and it is collecting dust. I bought the e-book for myself later 0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »May not be appropriate for @Susieq_1994!
Confession: I found out last night that a friend I used to work with has just been charged with second-degree murder of his wife, who has been missing since November. I'm having a hard time and am absolutely shocked, and still don't really believe it, even though the police quotes say he's been concealing the body at his home for the past 8 months. It just doesn't seem to compute at all against the person I remember.
HOLY! That's crazy...I would have a hard time believing it too! That's insane!
We must live in the same province, @hnsaunde. The murdered woman was a friend of a friend and my Facebook is blowing up this morning about this. From what I've read, you're not the only one who would never have suspected him...but I guess that's the thing about the kind of person who can do something like this, right? There's usually a personality disorder involved that means the person is a very, very good liar and a master manipulator.
I would have to say most of the abusive people I've known have been super charming and most people don't ever guess at what they're really like. I realize it is anecdotal, but a lot of people used to tell me they wished they had my mother for instance.
From experience, I have to say I completely agree. It's horrible the way an abuser can carry on in public like everything is so normal and they're SO WELL-LIKED by everyone they meet. It makes me sick.
Without getting into personal details, I know this ALL TOO WELL. They are so charming that everyone thinks YOU'RE the problem, not them. They lie on top of their lies and manipulate everyone, and the worst part is, you start to feel like YOU'RE the crazy one, or like there's something wrong with you, not them. It's horrible.
Nowadays I stay as FAR AWAY from the crazy as I can. My radar for crazy has gotten much better.0 -
raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »@Susieq_1994 Praying for you and hoping you're better soon!!! ❤️
I have to reschedule my doctor's appointment because apparently the doctor won't be in the office that day. I'm hoping I can be seen soon because I'm at the end of my rope with my depression, anxiety, and other issues. I'm so over "faking it", I'm NOT happy and I'm NOT okay!
Aw hugs. I know the feeling. I'm so sorry 0 -
I posted Friday about not having any willpower lately...so I celebrated Independance Day by eating whatever I wanted all weekend. I am determined to get back on track now. I think I'm going to follow the advice I've read on here multiple times by taking this one thing/habit at a time. Starting with tracking all my food. This is probably the habit I most recently got out of so it makes sense to jump back into it 1st.
A little NSV tho, I usually wear a body shaping cami under everything. The last couple of weekends, and today, I was comfortable enough to skip it.
It seems like a lot of us have gotten off track a bit lately. I know I have struggled. Good for you for taking it one step at a time. And awesome on your NSV!0 -
riderfangal wrote: »MissKalhan wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »@Susieq_1994 I read a good book over the weekend. It is called What She left Behind by Ellen Marie Wiseman. Its about a young woman committed to an insane asylum in the 1930's by her father because she wouldn't marry who he wanted her too. Was so good I was sad when it ended
I'm going to add that to my Goodreads list. Sounds like it could be up my alley!
Me, too! I wonder if I order it off Amazon if it would arrive in time for my vacation?
ETA: I bought it and it's supposed to arrive by tomorrow. I love Amazon Prime! I also bought her other book, The Plum Tree, just because. Can't have too many books for vacation!
I have the kindle app for my tablet and Amazon has what is called Kindle Unlimited where for $9.95/month you can download up to 10 books at a time for that one price. Best thing ever!!
I also downloaded the Plum Tree . Going to start that one tonight lol
I've tried an e-reader. I just prefer real paper books...
Count me in as a real book reader. I got a kindle for christmas years ago, I just couldn't get into it. I recently signed up with the library in this City, man oh man I am in love all over again. So many books and so little time!
I prefer real books too! I got a Kobo a few years ago (Canada's big book store chain is Chapters, they have the Kobo e-reader) and I ended up using it to play solitaire. I never downloaded a single book.
I am totally in the minority here. I read all my books on my tablet. A friend bought me a book I was really wanting to read and it is collecting dust. I bought the e-book for myself later
I very much prefer my kindle over paper books. If you had told me that I'd have this preference a few years ago I wouldn't have believed you.
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kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »prettyleelee wrote: »I cheated on Saturday oh how I cheated. I didn't even watch what I was eating and ended up over 2500 calories for the day. I felt absolutely horrible but it didn't make me stop because I at reeses pieces after. I absolutely wanted to puke when I got home.
I confess today I binged majorly. I ate tons of ice cream, chips, & snacky snacks. Tomorrow is a new day & I will get up & try better tomorrow.
My goal today is to read more of my NROLFW book & try not to binge anymore today.
I just bought the book today. What do you think of it so far??0 -
raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »@Susieq_1994 Praying for you and hoping you're better soon!!! ❤️
I have to reschedule my doctor's appointment because apparently the doctor won't be in the office that day. I'm hoping I can be seen soon because I'm at the end of my rope with my depression, anxiety, and other issues. I'm so over "faking it", I'm NOT happy and I'm NOT okay!
Can you call and schedule an emergency visit? That's what my sister did..and they got her in that very morning. Those were the exact words she used...she said she needed emergency visit. She was having really bad thoughts/struggling with depression and super high anxiety. Now she's good to go! 0 -
kelly_c_77 wrote: »I posted Friday about not having any willpower lately...so I celebrated Independance Day by eating whatever I wanted all weekend. I am determined to get back on track now. I think I'm going to follow the advice I've read on here multiple times by taking this one thing/habit at a time. Starting with tracking all my food. This is probably the habit I most recently got out of so it makes sense to jump back into it 1st.
A little NSV tho, I usually wear a body shaping cami under everything. The last couple of weekends, and today, I was comfortable enough to skip it.
It seems like a lot of us have gotten off track a bit lately. I know I have struggled. Good for you for taking it one step at a time. And awesome on your NSV!
I too have been struggling. Seems like I hit the half way mark and my motivation went out the window. I am starting fresh today and its all starting with tightening up my logging! And I really need to stop eating the leftovers off Kyptons plate. Really I do!0
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