Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
Replies
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raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »@Susieq_1994 Praying for you and hoping you're better soon!!! ❤️
I have to reschedule my doctor's appointment because apparently the doctor won't be in the office that day. I'm hoping I can be seen soon because I'm at the end of my rope with my depression, anxiety, and other issues. I'm so over "faking it", I'm NOT happy and I'm NOT okay!
(HUGS) Hang in there. I hope you get in to the doctor soon as well and that they are able to help you feel better.0 -
Any later seasons of Survivor you would recommend?kelly_c_77 wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »WestCoastJo82 wrote: »Well, this is totally not a real problem, but pity party commenced. (Warning this is rather lame and I really just need to be told suck it up buttercup).
I hate how bothered I am by numbers on the scale. I'm recomping currently - which should not include weight gain as I am not attempting to bulk - but I've been over the top number I would like to be at for a couple of weeks now. I know it's probably just DOMS as Stronglifts is kicking my butt and my clothes fit the same if not better, but it really gets to me and I'm considering reducing calories even though I know its a bad idea for recomp progress but I'm letting the scale rule me.
I don't like how I let the scale rule me in general. On one hand it's good - even though I was using hair ties to extend the buttons on my pants instead of buying a bigger size - it wasn't until I saw 150 on the scale, which meant 25 BMI and officially over weight that I decided to do something about it. It's also great because I don't have to track food, make sure I stay in my 5 pound range and all's well. But then I have days like today and want to throw a giant pity party because the scale says a number I don't like which is actually not a real problem and I need to suck it up.
Pity party over. Sorry it's a lame pity party.
It's not lame at all. I admit the scale rules my life too...not that I want to..but it does. It can ruin my day...even when I know it's just water weight from the day before.
LOL I used to be like that and I still weigh a few times a week but now if it's < then I am YAAAY! If it's > then I am like WHATEVER *flips bird* Haha.
I try to have that attitude towards it and I'll have days where I say I don't care...but really, it weighs on me all day. Pun intended!
Blood vs Water sounds interesting
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@raelynnsmama52512 I hope you get into the doctor soon. I don't think I've heard the phrase blessed out for a very long time.
@Susieq_1994 I just have some hugs for you and thanks for sharing the pictures in the bat cave. I'll look on my computer tomorrow for my pictures from my trip to Newfoundland - I'm pretty sure I have some plane pics.
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@CountessKitteh awesome transformation!!0
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Hi. Glad to see you back on here. I'm a little behind but can't wait to hear about everything.
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xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »@Susieq_1994 I'm so sorry
I hope the flare is a short one and you get to feeling better soon
@orangesmartie That's such an awesome attitude! Today is a new day and it's going to be great! I am jealous- I want to go to Nashville! lol not sure about the running (I run like an arthritic tortoise) but the rest sounds awesome.
AFM, it was a whirlwind weekend. I have Insulin Resistance and I'm hypoglycemic. If I eat like I'm supposed to (very strict, controlled diet) I can maintain my weight. Eat less, and I'll lose. Eat a bit of sugar, I get sick for half a day. I'm not kidding, either- an entire chocolate chip cookie is enough to have me on the couch for a few hours I eat ice cream or gelato by 1 tbsp and that's it and I'll still feel weird after unless I down water. Can't really eat fruit, unless it's a couple berries. I've learned to adjust and it's hard to own a home bakery when I want to taste everything but I've learned not to. I also scaled back my business.
My mom was watching oldest DS for us on July 4th, so when we went to pick him up yesterday, we grilled chicken and vegs for her as a "thank you". She had made two desserts and basically guilt tripped me into eating a bite of each. A regular forkful sized bite of each. I still don't feel right. I'm so bloated my pants don't fit well, my stomach is heaving, and I have a pounding headache. I'm mad at myself for not sticking to my guns.
But...in great news, we were approved to adopt the dog! She's coming up here on Saturday!! SO excited! We got some supplies and DH is actually getting excited, too. Her foster mom keeps sending me pics and it's making me so anxious to see her!
I am so happy for you getting the dog!!
Be careful with those blood sugar levels....that is nothing to play with!
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CountessKitteh wrote: »I'm almost 30 pages behind (largely avoided my laptop this weekend and was off today) but I'm still alive!
NSV: Put on a shirt today that I wore on vacation two years ago. The difference is huge, and that was such a great motivation boost!
Awesome NSV! I'm looking forward to doing that sometime. What an awesome feeling that must be.
I like the new avatar as well.
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kelly_c_77 wrote: »WestCoastJo82 wrote: »Well, this is totally not a real problem, but pity party commenced. (Warning this is rather lame and I really just need to be told suck it up buttercup).
I hate how bothered I am by numbers on the scale. I'm recomping currently - which should not include weight gain as I am not attempting to bulk - but I've been over the top number I would like to be at for a couple of weeks now. I know it's probably just DOMS as Stronglifts is kicking my butt and my clothes fit the same if not better, but it really gets to me and I'm considering reducing calories even though I know its a bad idea for recomp progress but I'm letting the scale rule me.
I don't like how I let the scale rule me in general. On one hand it's good - even though I was using hair ties to extend the buttons on my pants instead of buying a bigger size - it wasn't until I saw 150 on the scale, which meant 25 BMI and officially over weight that I decided to do something about it. It's also great because I don't have to track food, make sure I stay in my 5 pound range and all's well. But then I have days like today and want to throw a giant pity party because the scale says a number I don't like which is actually not a real problem and I need to suck it up.
Pity party over. Sorry it's a lame pity party.
It's not lame at all. I admit the scale rules my life too...not that I want to..but it does. It can ruin my day...even when I know it's just water weight from the day before.
LOL I used to be like that and I still weigh a few times a week but now if it's < then I am YAAAY! If it's > then I am like WHATEVER *flips bird* Haha.
See that's what I *say* I'm like, and what I tell others to do, but in real life, I am a giant hypocrite. I need to work on that.
@kelly_c_77 @riderfangal @rungirl1973 Thanks for the pity party validation - you guys are the best
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FluffySandwich wrote: »
Any later seasons of Survivor you would recommend?kelly_c_77 wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »WestCoastJo82 wrote: »Well, this is totally not a real problem, but pity party commenced. (Warning this is rather lame and I really just need to be told suck it up buttercup).
I hate how bothered I am by numbers on the scale. I'm recomping currently - which should not include weight gain as I am not attempting to bulk - but I've been over the top number I would like to be at for a couple of weeks now. I know it's probably just DOMS as Stronglifts is kicking my butt and my clothes fit the same if not better, but it really gets to me and I'm considering reducing calories even though I know its a bad idea for recomp progress but I'm letting the scale rule me.
I don't like how I let the scale rule me in general. On one hand it's good - even though I was using hair ties to extend the buttons on my pants instead of buying a bigger size - it wasn't until I saw 150 on the scale, which meant 25 BMI and officially over weight that I decided to do something about it. It's also great because I don't have to track food, make sure I stay in my 5 pound range and all's well. But then I have days like today and want to throw a giant pity party because the scale says a number I don't like which is actually not a real problem and I need to suck it up.
Pity party over. Sorry it's a lame pity party.
It's not lame at all. I admit the scale rules my life too...not that I want to..but it does. It can ruin my day...even when I know it's just water weight from the day before.
LOL I used to be like that and I still weigh a few times a week but now if it's < then I am YAAAY! If it's > then I am like WHATEVER *flips bird* Haha.
I try to have that attitude towards it and I'll have days where I say I don't care...but really, it weighs on me all day. Pun intended! Blood vs Water sounds interesting
Yeah, blood vs water was good. I liked the first season that they did of blood vs water better...because it had returning players from previous seasons and their family members. The latest season on white collar, blue collar, and red collar was also good. I liked every season pretty much... I've watched from the very 1st season..
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WestCoastJo82 wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »WestCoastJo82 wrote: »Well, this is totally not a real problem, but pity party commenced. (Warning this is rather lame and I really just need to be told suck it up buttercup).
I hate how bothered I am by numbers on the scale. I'm recomping currently - which should not include weight gain as I am not attempting to bulk - but I've been over the top number I would like to be at for a couple of weeks now. I know it's probably just DOMS as Stronglifts is kicking my butt and my clothes fit the same if not better, but it really gets to me and I'm considering reducing calories even though I know its a bad idea for recomp progress but I'm letting the scale rule me.
I don't like how I let the scale rule me in general. On one hand it's good - even though I was using hair ties to extend the buttons on my pants instead of buying a bigger size - it wasn't until I saw 150 on the scale, which meant 25 BMI and officially over weight that I decided to do something about it. It's also great because I don't have to track food, make sure I stay in my 5 pound range and all's well. But then I have days like today and want to throw a giant pity party because the scale says a number I don't like which is actually not a real problem and I need to suck it up.
Pity party over. Sorry it's a lame pity party.
It's not lame at all. I admit the scale rules my life too...not that I want to..but it does. It can ruin my day...even when I know it's just water weight from the day before.
LOL I used to be like that and I still weigh a few times a week but now if it's < then I am YAAAY! If it's > then I am like WHATEVER *flips bird* Haha.
See that's what I *say* I'm like, and what I tell others to do, but in real life, I am a giant hypocrite. I need to work on that.
@kelly_c_77 @riderfangal @rungirl1973 Thanks for the pity party validation - you guys are the best
Yep no worry on venting that. I think most of us get the frustration. I haven't lost in about two weeks and I get mad sometimes because I'm doing well with eating but my body is being stubborn. You'll get there. Just keep working and don't give up.0 -
riderfangal wrote: »MissKalhan wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »@Susieq_1994 I read a good book over the weekend. It is called What She left Behind by Ellen Marie Wiseman. Its about a young woman committed to an insane asylum in the 1930's by her father because she wouldn't marry who he wanted her too. Was so good I was sad when it ended
I'm going to add that to my Goodreads list. Sounds like it could be up my alley!
Me, too! I wonder if I order it off Amazon if it would arrive in time for my vacation?
ETA: I bought it and it's supposed to arrive by tomorrow. I love Amazon Prime! I also bought her other book, The Plum Tree, just because. Can't have too many books for vacation!
I have the kindle app for my tablet and Amazon has what is called Kindle Unlimited where for $9.95/month you can download up to 10 books at a time for that one price. Best thing ever!!
I also downloaded the Plum Tree . Going to start that one tonight lol
I've tried an e-reader. I just prefer real paper books...
Count me in as a real book reader. I got a kindle for christmas years ago, I just couldn't get into it. I recently signed up with the library in this City, man oh man I am in love all over again. So many books and so little time!
I prefer real books too! I got a Kobo a few years ago (Canada's big book store chain is Chapters, they have the Kobo e-reader) and I ended up using it to play solitaire. I never downloaded a single book.
I am totally in the minority here. I read all my books on my tablet. A friend bought me a book I was really wanting to read and it is collecting dust. I bought the e-book for myself later
I read all my books on my kindle- you're not alone!0 -
Thanks for all the well-wishes everyone! I'm going to call again tomorrow and see if I can actually speak to someone. Hubby called me a while ago to check on me, I told him what I've told you all, and he agrees that I need to see the doctor ASAP. I've literally just sat around all day obsessing, worrying, and wanting to lock myself in my room and cry. The only reason I haven't keeps running up to me and giving me hugs.
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Hey there all my lovely peeps! I've missed you all! I took some time off and have been really busy with life stuff, but I'm hoping things will settle down. Needless to say there's no way I'll be able to catch up.
Wanted to add a personal story to the "scale rules my life" sentiment. I was going through old papers over the weekend and glanced through my food and exercise logs for last year. Last March I was 10 lbs. lighter than I am now (thighs were an inch smaller and my waist was 2 inches smaller). My first thought was, "I've GOT to get back to that size!" Then I kept reading. I keep track of how I'm feeling physically, what's happening in life, and my moods along with my food intake and exercise because I believe it's all tied together. Turns out I was sick a lot, unhappy with some things, and was basically struggling. Today, I feel great. Nope, don't want to go back to that point.
Long story short: a lighter weight on the scale does NOT equal a happier self!0 -
@raelynnsmama52512 until you get in just focus on taking care of yourself ❤️
@CountessKitteh you look FANTASTIC!!
@WestCoastJo82 I feel the same a lot of the time I want to vent but compared to so many others it sounds like ridiculous I just need to pinch myself and stop being baby...that's how I feel at least
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raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »Thanks for all the well-wishes everyone! I'm going to call again tomorrow and see if I can actually speak to someone. Hubby called me a while ago to check on me, I told him what I've told you all, and he agrees that I need to see the doctor ASAP. I've literally just sat around all day obsessing, worrying, and wanting to lock myself in my room and cry. The only reason I haven't keeps running up to me and giving me hugs.
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Hey there all my lovely peeps! I've missed you all! I took some time off and have been really busy with life stuff, but I'm hoping things will settle down. Needless to say there's no way I'll be able to catch up.
Wanted to add a personal story to the "scale rules my life" sentiment. I was going through old papers over the weekend and glanced through my food and exercise logs for last year. Last March I was 10 lbs. lighter than I am now (thighs were an inch smaller and my waist was 2 inches smaller). My first thought was, "I've GOT to get back to that size!" Then I kept reading. I keep track of how I'm feeling physically, what's happening in life, and my moods along with my food intake and exercise because I believe it's all tied together. Turns out I was sick a lot, unhappy with some things, and was basically struggling. Today, I feel great. Nope, don't want to go back to that point.
Long story short: a lighter weight on the scale does NOT equal a happier self!
YAY!! You're back! We've missed you and all your wonderful advice!! In reality, I KNOW that "a lighter weight on the scale doesn't equal a happier self" but my brain just doesn't let me think like that.... working on it though.0 -
@WestCoastJo82 I feel the same a lot of the time I want to vent but compared to so many others it sounds like ridiculous I just need to pinch myself and stop being baby...that's how I feel at least
Never feel ridiculous for how you feel....you know that you can always vent here. We don't judge anyone, remember?
If you broke your toe but I broke my leg, your toe would STILL hurt, right? So my broken leg might be a little bit more of a problem/pain in the butt...but your problem matters too!0 -
@raelynnsmama52512 until you get in just focus on taking care of yourself ❤️
Thanks @LBuehrle8 that's what I think I'm going to do.
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@BZAH10 thanks for sharing that!!0
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@raelynnsmama52512 until you get in just focus on taking care of yourself ❤️
@CountessKitteh you look FANTASTIC!!
@WestCoastJo82 I feel the same a lot of the time I want to vent but compared to so many others it sounds like ridiculous I just need to pinch myself and stop being baby...that's how I feel at least
Exactly.
Edit: I should say that I know I wouldn't be judged bc everyone here is awesome - it just feels so petty.0 -
Hey there all my lovely peeps! I've missed you all! I took some time off and have been really busy with life stuff, but I'm hoping things will settle down. Needless to say there's no way I'll be able to catch up.
Wanted to add a personal story to the "scale rules my life" sentiment. I was going through old papers over the weekend and glanced through my food and exercise logs for last year. Last March I was 10 lbs. lighter than I am now (thighs were an inch smaller and my waist was 2 inches smaller). My first thought was, "I've GOT to get back to that size!" Then I kept reading. I keep track of how I'm feeling physically, what's happening in life, and my moods along with my food intake and exercise because I believe it's all tied together. Turns out I was sick a lot, unhappy with some things, and was basically struggling. Today, I feel great. Nope, don't want to go back to that point.
Long story short: a lighter weight on the scale does NOT equal a happier self!
This is very true and glad to have you back! We missed you!0 -
riderfangal wrote: »MissKalhan wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »@Susieq_1994 I read a good book over the weekend. It is called What She left Behind by Ellen Marie Wiseman. Its about a young woman committed to an insane asylum in the 1930's by her father because she wouldn't marry who he wanted her too. Was so good I was sad when it ended
I'm going to add that to my Goodreads list. Sounds like it could be up my alley!
Me, too! I wonder if I order it off Amazon if it would arrive in time for my vacation?
ETA: I bought it and it's supposed to arrive by tomorrow. I love Amazon Prime! I also bought her other book, The Plum Tree, just because. Can't have too many books for vacation!
I have the kindle app for my tablet and Amazon has what is called Kindle Unlimited where for $9.95/month you can download up to 10 books at a time for that one price. Best thing ever!!
I also downloaded the Plum Tree . Going to start that one tonight lol
I've tried an e-reader. I just prefer real paper books...
Count me in as a real book reader. I got a kindle for christmas years ago, I just couldn't get into it. I recently signed up with the library in this City, man oh man I am in love all over again. So many books and so little time!
I prefer real books too! I got a Kobo a few years ago (Canada's big book store chain is Chapters, they have the Kobo e-reader) and I ended up using it to play solitaire. I never downloaded a single book.
I am totally in the minority here. I read all my books on my tablet. A friend bought me a book I was really wanting to read and it is collecting dust. I bought the e-book for myself later
I read all my books on my kindle- you're not alone!
I am a real book person. I love them. I am, however, running out of room for all my books. Time to start weeding out!0 -
CountessKitteh wrote: »I'm almost 30 pages behind (largely avoided my laptop this weekend and was off today) but I'm still alive!
NSV: Put on a shirt today that I wore on vacation two years ago. The difference is huge, and that was such a great motivation boost!
Sweeet! Congrats! My NSV this weekend was going to the amusement park and not having to skip rides or sit in the XL seating, if available. I was able to ride rides that I had not since 2013. Rides that I also could not fit their restraints even just a few months ago. Made me feel really good!
That is fantastic! Congratulations!0 -
riderfangal wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »I posted Friday about not having any willpower lately...so I celebrated Independance Day by eating whatever I wanted all weekend. I am determined to get back on track now. I think I'm going to follow the advice I've read on here multiple times by taking this one thing/habit at a time. Starting with tracking all my food. This is probably the habit I most recently got out of so it makes sense to jump back into it 1st.
A little NSV tho, I usually wear a body shaping cami under everything. The last couple of weekends, and today, I was comfortable enough to skip it.
It seems like a lot of us have gotten off track a bit lately. I know I have struggled. Good for you for taking it one step at a time. And awesome on your NSV!
I too have been struggling. Seems like I hit the half way mark and my motivation went out the window. I am starting fresh today and its all starting with tightening up my logging! And I really need to stop eating the leftovers off Kyptons plate. Really I do!
Right?!? I eat the leftovers off my daughters plate all the time. It's either me or the dog
Haha. When I first started on MFP I kept a shaker of salt right beside me so when he was done eating I would douse what was left on his plate with salt so it was inedible. I may have to start doing that again
Oh, my gosh this is classic. I love it.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »MissKalhan wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »@Susieq_1994 I read a good book over the weekend. It is called What She left Behind by Ellen Marie Wiseman. Its about a young woman committed to an insane asylum in the 1930's by her father because she wouldn't marry who he wanted her too. Was so good I was sad when it ended
I'm going to add that to my Goodreads list. Sounds like it could be up my alley!
Me, too! I wonder if I order it off Amazon if it would arrive in time for my vacation?
ETA: I bought it and it's supposed to arrive by tomorrow. I love Amazon Prime! I also bought her other book, The Plum Tree, just because. Can't have too many books for vacation!
I have the kindle app for my tablet and Amazon has what is called Kindle Unlimited where for $9.95/month you can download up to 10 books at a time for that one price. Best thing ever!!
I also downloaded the Plum Tree . Going to start that one tonight lol
I've tried an e-reader. I just prefer real paper books...
Count me in as a real book reader. I got a kindle for christmas years ago, I just couldn't get into it. I recently signed up with the library in this City, man oh man I am in love all over again. So many books and so little time!
I prefer real books too! I got a Kobo a few years ago (Canada's big book store chain is Chapters, they have the Kobo e-reader) and I ended up using it to play solitaire. I never downloaded a single book.
I am totally in the minority here. I read all my books on my tablet. A friend bought me a book I was really wanting to read and it is collecting dust. I bought the e-book for myself later
I read all my books on my kindle- you're not alone!
I am a real book person. I love them. I am, however, running out of room for all my books. Time to start weeding out!
I love the feel of a book in my hands. I am finding that some of the books that I may not necessarily want to keep in my library at home are best on an ereader. I have the Kindle app on my phone and my tablet so I read some books that way. I think it is still growing on me.0 -
Hey there all my lovely peeps! I've missed you all! I took some time off and have been really busy with life stuff, but I'm hoping things will settle down. Needless to say there's no way I'll be able to catch up.
Wanted to add a personal story to the "scale rules my life" sentiment. I was going through old papers over the weekend and glanced through my food and exercise logs for last year. Last March I was 10 lbs. lighter than I am now (thighs were an inch smaller and my waist was 2 inches smaller). My first thought was, "I've GOT to get back to that size!" Then I kept reading. I keep track of how I'm feeling physically, what's happening in life, and my moods along with my food intake and exercise because I believe it's all tied together. Turns out I was sick a lot, unhappy with some things, and was basically struggling. Today, I feel great. Nope, don't want to go back to that point.
Long story short: a lighter weight on the scale does NOT equal a happier self!
Glad to see you back! We all missed you! Hope real life things have gotten better for you.0 -
WestCoastJo82 wrote: »Well, this is totally not a real problem, but pity party commenced. (Warning this is rather lame and I really just need to be told suck it up buttercup).
I hate how bothered I am by numbers on the scale. I'm recomping currently - which should not include weight gain as I am not attempting to bulk - but I've been over the top number I would like to be at for a couple of weeks now. I know it's probably just DOMS as Stronglifts is kicking my butt and my clothes fit the same if not better, but it really gets to me and I'm considering reducing calories even though I know its a bad idea for recomp progress but I'm letting the scale rule me.
I don't like how I let the scale rule me in general. On one hand it's good - even though I was using hair ties to extend the buttons on my pants instead of buying a bigger size - it wasn't until I saw 150 on the scale, which meant 25 BMI and officially over weight that I decided to do something about it. It's also great because I don't have to track food, make sure I stay in my 5 pound range and all's well. But then I have days like today and want to throw a giant pity party because the scale says a number I don't like which is actually not a real problem and I need to suck it up.
Pity party over. Sorry it's a lame pity party.
This is not lame! I live by my scale these days. I really really want to stay at this weight, I have never been able to do that before (lose/gain/lose/gain). I am so afraid I am going to gain this back. So I totally get it. Just stay strong and just stick to the numbers/methods that work for you.0 -
xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »May not be appropriate for @Susieq_1994!
Confession: I found out last night that a friend I used to work with has just been charged with second-degree murder of his wife, who has been missing since November. I'm having a hard time and am absolutely shocked, and still don't really believe it, even though the police quotes say he's been concealing the body at his home for the past 8 months. It just doesn't seem to compute at all against the person I remember.
HOLY! That's crazy...I would have a hard time believing it too! That's insane!
We must live in the same province, @hnsaunde. The murdered woman was a friend of a friend and my Facebook is blowing up this morning about this. From what I've read, you're not the only one who would never have suspected him...but I guess that's the thing about the kind of person who can do something like this, right? There's usually a personality disorder involved that means the person is a very, very good liar and a master manipulator.
I would have to say most of the abusive people I've known have been super charming and most people don't ever guess at what they're really like. I realize it is anecdotal, but a lot of people used to tell me they wished they had my mother for instance.
From experience, I have to say I completely agree. It's horrible the way an abuser can carry on in public like everything is so normal and they're SO WELL-LIKED by everyone they meet. It makes me sick.
Without getting into personal details, I know this ALL TOO WELL. They are so charming that everyone thinks YOU'RE the problem, not them. They lie on top of their lies and manipulate everyone, and the worst part is, you start to feel like YOU'RE the crazy one, or like there's something wrong with you, not them. It's horrible.
Nowadays I stay as FAR AWAY from the crazy as I can. My radar for crazy has gotten much better.
Good for you and I am sorry you have too much experience with this. 0 -
raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »@Susieq_1994 Praying for you and hoping you're better soon!!! ❤️
I have to reschedule my doctor's appointment because apparently the doctor won't be in the office that day. I'm hoping I can be seen soon because I'm at the end of my rope with my depression, anxiety, and other issues. I'm so over "faking it", I'm NOT happy and I'm NOT okay!
Sorry you're having a terrible day! I hope you can get in to see the doctor soon.
Thank you. I'm hoping I can too.
I'm pretty sure y'all are tired of hearing me talk about my problems, but I don't have any one else to talk to besides my husband when he's here. So, thanks for that! ❤️
Talk away...that is why we are here!0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I'm trying to stay upbeat and positive about it, but I am so over this flare-up already. I WANT TO GET OFF THIS STUPID COUCH. BY MYSELF.
I'm pretty much at the most severe stage of the flare up right now--violent jerking convulsions of my upper body, an almost complete loss of balance and walking ability, and function impairment in my legs so that I can't even propel myself into a standing position alone. This stinks. *bratty pout*
Prayers and hugs for you. Does it just affect your lower body? Is your husband home?
Thanks. Yes, my husband is home--Luckily right now his course load is pretty light (He's studying for a Masters degree in Petroleum Engineering and the summer session doesn't really have the courses he needs) and he only studies for two hours in the morning and gets home around 1:00 PM. He has to help me get everywhere and do everything, so even when he's working he would come home for lunch break to help me get out of bed and get something to eat.
I refuse to have anyone else come over and care for me when I'm in the midst of a flare up, so I manage by myself when my husband can't be around. This generally involves a lot of dragging myself around on the floor when I'm not strong enough to use a walker, but I still refuse to have anyone else see me in this state. Pride, I guess.
It affects several parts of my body. My upper torso jerks forward convulsively and continuously, as though you were standing and someone pushed you hard in the back and your torso shoots forward. The jerking is so violent that my ribs are usually very sore and painful after a couple of hours of it. During mild flare-ups, I only convulse when standing. During the more severe ones, I convulse while standing, sitting, and even lying down.
It impairs my leg function so that they're about as useful as jell-O--I can't propel myself upward from a seated position or support my full weight using my legs, which is one of the main reasons that I can't walk during flare-ups. They buckle under me very quickly, and if I have to try to walk, I have to move quickly because only momentum is keeping me upright--if I stop I'll just fall.
I also suffer from a loss of balance, so even when the convulsions stop and my legs start to feel a little stronger (this is during recovery when I start to be able to walk alone again), I have to take very, very tiny steps and fully concentrate on them, so that even walking 5 feet across a room is absolutely exhausting.
Oh, Susie, I am so sorry. This must be so hard on you, you have some much energy. I hope this flare up is over quickly and so glad your husband can be there for you. (Hugs!)0
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