Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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AngryViking1970 wrote: »Know what I'm thinking about? Peanut butter pie.
I wonder if I can buy one somewhere on my way home...
I know, right?? I'm becoming fixated on the magical pie that @Susieq_1994 has created. I see the pictures of the chocolate and peanut butter pie in my daydreams. I need it.
Me too!
Gifs don't work any more..?
I'm so flattered!
My baking causing such a fuss... Who would have thought? I hope GIFs still work, they're a huge part of MFP! 0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Confession: My husband is really, really bad with names. When referring to this thread and mentioning various people, he (we?) have coined various terms to help him keep track of who I'm talking about. A few of these are:
- The horse lady (@pofoster21)
- The llama lady (@ythannah)
- The friendly lady (@LBuehrle8)
- The cookie-face lady (@spamarie)
- The Dr. Elmo lady (obviously @nonoelmo)
- The Mo lady (@MoHousdon)
... Among others. Don't blame me for your new names though... I swear they're his fault!
I would 100% agree with this! Laura ALWAYS has something nice to say. And can I say, I hope when and IF you reference The Mo lady, it's in good terms.
Also, I am not a fan of peanut butter in desserts usually (aside from a Reese's PB cup or a peanut butter hot fudge shake from Sonic) but your pie looks delicious and I would hoard calories to eat some.
Thank you! It does taste rather Reeses-like, especially with the partly-solidified ganache on top of it. We had a piece each today, and it tasted twice as good as yesterday! That should teach me to be more patient...
He based his nickname off of the picture she was using at that time (Face shot, big friendly smile...) and I told him that her face matched her personality because she's a total sweetheart.
Well, we definitely never referenced the Mo lady in a negative way, so be reassured!
Mostly in neutral terms and when talking about your evil, bratty stepdaughter... I guess that does count as a negative, though?
Oh goodness thank you @susieq_1994!! Y'all are really making my day! haha means a lot though really I love you guys!
It's the truth and only the truth! Nice people tend to hear nice things about themselves. 0 -
Thanks! I love it too.@Susieq_1994 I adore your wedding band it's beautiful! 0 -
Oh, me too! Glad I'm not the only hairy monkey in the house. (Sorry, I know that's rude, but a waxer once called my best friend a hairy monkey, so it kind of stuck with us!)rungirl1973 wrote: »TigerNY128 wrote: »Confession: I bought a children's duck-down vest at Costco last night because it was made of real down but $20. $20! Luckily I'm hobbit-sized and can make that stuff fit (at least with athletic wear, which generally doesn't look so obviously from the kids' section) because it's so much cheaper than adult clothes. So yeah, I wear kids' clothes....
I'm far from hobbit-sized (I'm 5'9) but I own quite a few kids' XXL clothes from the Gap because a) they're something where length didn't matter b) they were cute and on sale dirt cheap and c) kids' clothing is exempt from sales tax here -- double win. Including... drum roll please... a down vest!
Oh, wait. My bust probably qualifies as hobbit-sized.
Oddly, mine does not (I wear a 28H in American sizes) but because my frame is small underneath them (ribcage/shoulders) they still fit in kids' tops by some weird alchemy.
I've never been able to figure out who women's clothing is actually cut for, because it's certainly not people like me, but then bigger and or/taller women (even my tall slim friends who would seem to have a body like a runway model) say nothing fits them either. So who is this stuff for (and who is the child that my girls' shirts were intended for, for that matter)?
My heavens, where on earth do you find bras that size??? I thought it was a challenge getting 32C but I will never complain again... I can still find a few here and there.
And I have NO idea what the "average" woman that is supposed to fit these clothes looks like... I always assumed she was just shorter than me and blamed the poor fit on my length... like the waistline of dresses ending up around my ribs, midway between waist and bust, or rises that are too short.
I agree with both of you. Whenever I buy clothes for work the pants are either way too long so they drag on the ground and I have to get them altered or I try to buy the "short" size and they are too short.
How tall are you?? This is me, too...I'm 5'7.5"...the cutoff for tall is usually like 5'8"...talls are too long for me and regulars are too short. I always have to buy talls and have them altered.
5'8" here. Regular pants are always too short (and dresses).
Tall pants either fit well or drag the floor and can't be worn. The smaller sizes (in Tall) tend to be the proper length more frequently than the double digit sizes I used to wear. I feel for women who are really tall and thin if the Tall length fits me.
All you ladies who have blonde hair and rarely shave- cherish it! I shave almost every other day and I wax everything else!
Also I'm little at 5'2" so I can never find anything that fits properly, pretty much always had to have my jeans tailored before skinny pants came into style!
My husband says it's like going to bed with the spiky side of Velcro when I haven't shaved!
Haha no worries I don't get offended easily! I just hate hair on my body anywhere other than my head! In high school I used to shave my arms! Just became too much of a hassle after college though so I quit0 -
I'm off to stalk the bat cave pictures thread - I'll be back!0
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@Susieq_1994 two more books for you. They are children's literature and were part of what we read together when I homeschooled. The author is Richard Peck. A Long way from Chicago is first then A Year Down Yonder. They are funny. I have given them as gifts to adults0
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I'm back! Going to try and catch up tonight/tomorrow am... lots to catch up on I see...beware binge posting about to commence.0
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So, we just booked a family vacation for next week! Eeeee!
We were planning a road trip, but when we did the math (2 x hotel rooms for 7 nights, gas, food, entertainment/shopping for 5 people) we figured it would probably actually cost less to fly somewhere, so we're heading down Mexico way instead.
Am now seriously back on the wagon, because an all-inclusive week will not be good news for my weight. Good news is my bikini bottoms from my March trip are now too big and I was able to get a size smaller to match the top, which still fits ok. Bad news is I went shopping for a little sundress or something to wear to and from the beach but bought a pair of beige suede kitten-heeled ankle boots instead.
Trip sounds fabulous and I so want to see those boots!0 -
Oh, me too! Glad I'm not the only hairy monkey in the house. (Sorry, I know that's rude, but a waxer once called my best friend a hairy monkey, so it kind of stuck with us!)rungirl1973 wrote: »TigerNY128 wrote: »Confession: I bought a children's duck-down vest at Costco last night because it was made of real down but $20. $20! Luckily I'm hobbit-sized and can make that stuff fit (at least with athletic wear, which generally doesn't look so obviously from the kids' section) because it's so much cheaper than adult clothes. So yeah, I wear kids' clothes....
I'm far from hobbit-sized (I'm 5'9) but I own quite a few kids' XXL clothes from the Gap because a) they're something where length didn't matter b) they were cute and on sale dirt cheap and c) kids' clothing is exempt from sales tax here -- double win. Including... drum roll please... a down vest!
Oh, wait. My bust probably qualifies as hobbit-sized.
Oddly, mine does not (I wear a 28H in American sizes) but because my frame is small underneath them (ribcage/shoulders) they still fit in kids' tops by some weird alchemy.
I've never been able to figure out who women's clothing is actually cut for, because it's certainly not people like me, but then bigger and or/taller women (even my tall slim friends who would seem to have a body like a runway model) say nothing fits them either. So who is this stuff for (and who is the child that my girls' shirts were intended for, for that matter)?
My heavens, where on earth do you find bras that size??? I thought it was a challenge getting 32C but I will never complain again... I can still find a few here and there.
And I have NO idea what the "average" woman that is supposed to fit these clothes looks like... I always assumed she was just shorter than me and blamed the poor fit on my length... like the waistline of dresses ending up around my ribs, midway between waist and bust, or rises that are too short.
I agree with both of you. Whenever I buy clothes for work the pants are either way too long so they drag on the ground and I have to get them altered or I try to buy the "short" size and they are too short.
How tall are you?? This is me, too...I'm 5'7.5"...the cutoff for tall is usually like 5'8"...talls are too long for me and regulars are too short. I always have to buy talls and have them altered.
5'8" here. Regular pants are always too short (and dresses).
Tall pants either fit well or drag the floor and can't be worn. The smaller sizes (in Tall) tend to be the proper length more frequently than the double digit sizes I used to wear. I feel for women who are really tall and thin if the Tall length fits me.
All you ladies who have blonde hair and rarely shave- cherish it! I shave almost every other day and I wax everything else!
Also I'm little at 5'2" so I can never find anything that fits properly, pretty much always had to have my jeans tailored before skinny pants came into style!
My husband says it's like going to bed with the spiky side of Velcro when I haven't shaved!
I am very hairy too. Thank goodness it's blonde. My face is like a fuzzy halo. I have finally started using Nair face hair removal cream.0 -
I did some reading on prepping for the trekking we're doing in Peru suggesting that climbing stairs is going to be the best conditioning when we can't actually get out to the mountains, so it's my new plan for the next month and a half. You can apparently count each step as a foot elevation gain as a ballpark to gauge your fitness, so in my apartment building I'd have to climb 133 floors to equal about 2000 ft of elevation gain.
I ran the stairwell yesterday but I only managed forty floors of climbing (bottom to top and back down twice, basically) before my left leg started twitching like mad, so I've got a lot of room to improve. But I'm reminding myself that 2000ft of elevation gain on the actual hike is over a few hours and I did those 40 floors in like twenty minutes (and at a sort-of-run), so I'm feeling pretty confident that I can get there.
Running stairs is brutal. Good for you. I guess I better start doing this in prep for my Scotland adventure.0 -
FluffySandwich wrote: »
I was told by a doctor when I was in high school that I had low ironFluffySandwich wrote: »Will my stupid body WAKE UP? Argh. I keep dozing off... all it takes sometimes if for me to blink my eyes and my body goes ''Oh goody, time to sleep?'' I need to start taking my B12 again.
In school, starting around 6th grade, I had trouble with falling asleep in class. I didn't want to and struggled like mad to stay awake. It was embarrassing waking up (sometimes with a jolt) and having people stare at me, especially since I am a sleep talker and wondered if I had said something aloud
. Some people try to fall asleep in class and don't care, but I was trying to be a good student 
EDIT: Come to think of it, I don't think I've beeen eating much iron lately.
Sounds like you might be anemic, you should probably get a blood test done. So that's probably part of it.
You've convinced me to start taking it againFluffySandwich wrote: »Will my stupid body WAKE UP? Argh. I keep dozing off... all it takes sometimes if for me to blink my eyes and my body goes ''Oh goody, time to sleep?'' I need to start taking my B12 again.
In school, starting around 6th grade, I had trouble with falling asleep in class. I didn't want to and struggled like mad to stay awake. It was embarrassing waking up (sometimes with a jolt) and having people stare at me, especially since I am a sleep talker and wondered if I had said something aloud . Some people try to fall asleep in class and don't care, but I was trying to be a good student
EDIT: Come to think of it, I don't think I've beeen eating much iron lately.
Oh, man, B-complex is such a big help for me. I take the sublingual drops and it is seriously such a game-changer. I don't eat a ton of meat so my doctor recommended it a while back after some bloodwork and I feel like I can pretty much bounce out of bed when I'm taking it regularly. I don't eat a lot of meat either.
B12 is one of those vitamins that's very, very difficult to get from non-animal sources, so vegetarians etc. have a tough time with it. I'm not a vegetarian but I just don't tend to choose meat too often so I've had a problem with it. I take iron as prescribed by my doctor too because I also had anemia in my teens (very common for girls, apparently), but taking both is way better for me. You really should talk to your doctor before starting or restarting supplements though...I know it seems overcautious but you can really do some major damage just taking whatever you think you need. Honestly.
I love b-12 and feel great when I am taking it regularly. I am terrible about remembering to take it tho. I do sublingual as I have also read it's best for absorption. I am going to try and remember to start again tomorrow!0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »So, I'm currently working on the pies for my in-laws. Since I didn't take any last time, is anyone interested in progress shots before I cover them in ganache and whipped cream? By the way, I made them with the tweaked recipe and STILL ended up with way too much filling. Oops. Not enough tweaking!
Do you think a springform pan might work better since it has deep sides??? Just a suggestion.
Yes, it would, actually, if you were looking to make a deeper pie. But I don't own one. I also think the extremely thick layer of pie filling in a deep dish pie pan or springform pan might make you sick after a few bites, so much smaller slices would be required. And you'd also need more Oreos to line the sides.
These are not bad things. LOL
True. It would be less of a pie and more of a no-bake peanut butter cheesecake this way, though.
Reading backwards on all this pie talk is making me so hungry! I want pb pie!0 -
Raelynn update:
I finally spoke with the preschool director for the district this morning. She is going to talk to the school psychologist and see what she would like to do as far as evaluations and options. She also wants Raelynn to have a speech evaluation as her SPD can (and does) affect how she comprehends and communicates to an extent. She did mention that there is a 3K option we could try, but it is for severely delayed and autistic children. After discussing Raelynn's specific delays and issues was when she decided to get the psychologist involved, so I don't exactly know how that is going to pan out. She did mention possibly doing an individualized plan as well, just depending on what the psychologist thinks.
Since we've started her on the melatonin she's begun waking up around 5-6am after not going to sleep until around 8:30-9pm, granted she's not waking up at night, but still concerning since that's 8-9 hours of sleep for her, as opposed to the (iirc) 12-15 she's supposed to be getting. We're going to hang on and see if it's just her body adjusting or if we need to try something else.
The tea party at Barnes and noble didn't go well. She completely freaked out when it came time to sit down for story time and wouldn't go near the other kids, as in completely frozen and stuttering "I don't, I want, mommy, mommy,!" She wound up sitting nearby in my lap but she still wouldn't interact or go near other kids. After the story, there was a craft and we could buy snacks if we wanted. She ran to the back of a table, trying to keep away from everyone, but it was such a small space that she couldn't distance herself. Of course at this time, the director calls me, so I'm trying to help Raelynn with her craft and talk with the director at the same time. Halfway through, Raelynn bolts out from the table, grabs my hand, and says "Mommy, I can't do this" and starts running towards the other end of the store. She literally ran away from the craft area and stayed over in the toy section away from everyone else. If anything could have shattered my heart and made me feel like a horrible person, it was that. I spent the rest of my conversation with the director fighting back tears, it just breaks my heart seeing her struggle like this, and I feel guilty for taking her to that. I feel like I should have known better.
My husband broke down when I talked to him about today and my talk with the director. She's fighting a battle that she can't understand, and it kills us to see it knowing there's not much we can do.
(I feel like I shouldn't be complaining, since I know it could be so much worse, but it's so heartbreaking to see my baby girl struggle everyday!)
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raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »Raelynn update:
I finally spoke with the preschool director for the district this morning. She is going to talk to the school psychologist and see what she would like to do as far as evaluations and options. She also wants Raelynn to have a speech evaluation as her SPD can (and does) affect how she comprehends and communicates to an extent. She did mention that there is a 3K option we could try, but it is for severely delayed and autistic children. After discussing Raelynn's specific delays and issues was when she decided to get the psychologist involved, so I don't exactly know how that is going to pan out. She did mention possibly doing an individualized plan as well, just depending on what the psychologist thinks.
Since we've started her on the melatonin she's begun waking up around 5-6am after not going to sleep until around 8:30-9pm, granted she's not waking up at night, but still concerning since that's 8-9 hours of sleep for her, as opposed to the (iirc) 12-15 she's supposed to be getting. We're going to hang on and see if it's just her body adjusting or if we need to try something else.
The tea party at Barnes and noble didn't go well. She completely freaked out when it came time to sit down for story time and wouldn't go near the other kids, as in completely frozen and stuttering "I don't, I want, mommy, mommy,!" She wound up sitting nearby in my lap but she still wouldn't interact or go near other kids. After the story, there was a craft and we could buy snacks if we wanted. She ran to the back of a table, trying to keep away from everyone, but it was such a small space that she couldn't distance herself. Of course at this time, the director calls me, so I'm trying to help Raelynn with her craft and talk with the director at the same time. Halfway through, Raelynn bolts out from the table, grabs my hand, and says "Mommy, I can't do this" and starts running towards the other end of the store. She literally ran away from the craft area and stayed over in the toy section away from everyone else. If anything could have shattered my heart and made me feel like a horrible person, it was that. I spent the rest of my conversation with the director fighting back tears, it just breaks my heart seeing her struggle like this, and I feel guilty for taking her to that. I feel like I should have known better.
My husband broke down when I talked to him about today and my talk with the director. She's fighting a battle that she can't understand, and it kills us to see it knowing there's not much we can do.
(I feel like I shouldn't be complaining, since I know it could be so much worse, but it's so heartbreaking to see my baby girl struggle everyday!)
I am so sorry and it is just heartbreaking to hear how much she is struggling. Luckily you got it early so hopefully she can learn to cope with this before she needs to go to regular school, etc. Keep us posted...you aren't complaining you are sharing.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »Raelynn update:
I finally spoke with the preschool director for the district this morning. She is going to talk to the school psychologist and see what she would like to do as far as evaluations and options. She also wants Raelynn to have a speech evaluation as her SPD can (and does) affect how she comprehends and communicates to an extent. She did mention that there is a 3K option we could try, but it is for severely delayed and autistic children. After discussing Raelynn's specific delays and issues was when she decided to get the psychologist involved, so I don't exactly know how that is going to pan out. She did mention possibly doing an individualized plan as well, just depending on what the psychologist thinks.
Since we've started her on the melatonin she's begun waking up around 5-6am after not going to sleep until around 8:30-9pm, granted she's not waking up at night, but still concerning since that's 8-9 hours of sleep for her, as opposed to the (iirc) 12-15 she's supposed to be getting. We're going to hang on and see if it's just her body adjusting or if we need to try something else.
The tea party at Barnes and noble didn't go well. She completely freaked out when it came time to sit down for story time and wouldn't go near the other kids, as in completely frozen and stuttering "I don't, I want, mommy, mommy,!" She wound up sitting nearby in my lap but she still wouldn't interact or go near other kids. After the story, there was a craft and we could buy snacks if we wanted. She ran to the back of a table, trying to keep away from everyone, but it was such a small space that she couldn't distance herself. Of course at this time, the director calls me, so I'm trying to help Raelynn with her craft and talk with the director at the same time. Halfway through, Raelynn bolts out from the table, grabs my hand, and says "Mommy, I can't do this" and starts running towards the other end of the store. She literally ran away from the craft area and stayed over in the toy section away from everyone else. If anything could have shattered my heart and made me feel like a horrible person, it was that. I spent the rest of my conversation with the director fighting back tears, it just breaks my heart seeing her struggle like this, and I feel guilty for taking her to that. I feel like I should have known better.
My husband broke down when I talked to him about today and my talk with the director. She's fighting a battle that she can't understand, and it kills us to see it knowing there's not much we can do.
(I feel like I shouldn't be complaining, since I know it could be so much worse, but it's so heartbreaking to see my baby girl struggle everyday!)
I am so sorry and it is just heartbreaking to hear how much she is struggling. Luckily you got it early so hopefully she can learn to cope with this before she needs to go to regular school, etc. Keep us posted...you aren't complaining you are sharing.
Thank you ❤️
We're hoping to have her starting 3K this year, just depends on what evaluations they want to do and what the results say. At the earliest, I could get a phone call tomorrow, but it could be another week before I find out anything. I'm not giving up though, and the director reassured me she would do the best she could to help Raelynn.0 -
Complain away - you need an outlet. It's truly awful to have a child struggling and not be able to make it better for them, but you're doing all the right things. Early intervention is key.raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »(I feel like I shouldn't be complaining, since I know it could be so much worse, but it's so heartbreaking to see my baby girl struggle everyday!)0 -
Complain away - you need an outlet. It's truly awful to have a child struggling and not be able to make it better for them, but you're doing all the right things. Early intervention is key.raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »(I feel like I shouldn't be complaining, since I know it could be so much worse, but it's so heartbreaking to see my baby girl struggle everyday!)
Thank you ❤️
I'm hoping to hear something soon, since I called the office on Monday and got a returned call today. She said she would see the psychologist tomorrow in Columbia and would talk to her about Raelynn then, so I could hear something tomorrow from either one of them. I'll definitely keep you all updated as I find out what's happening!0 -
rungirl1973 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »TigerNY128 wrote: »welcome to another episode of post date update!
monday -
really nice dude had date number 4!
very low key, some beverages and a bunch of talking. talked about personal stuffs, like very bonding type of conversations. i really like this guy. i'm trying not to get overly excited, but i think this dude is awesome.
tuesday -
ok, remember the dude from a week ago that i said was extremely effeminate, constantly talked over me, and if he were gay he could totally be my bff? went out with him again, as per many suggestions...first date nerves and whatnot.... exactly the same! perpetually "on," constantly mocked the waitresses (which kinda drives me nuts), and to completely wreck the evening, awkwardly made me pay for EVERYTHING. apparently i "owed" him. i decided to call it a night around 8:30ish (which literally has never happened).
*here is where i potentially destroy everything*
so even in calling it a night at 8:30, i was kinda drunk, and really depressed about the whole evening. so what does my dumb butt do? i text super nice boy all whiney and emo. go over to his place and tell him all about my craptastical night. he's still very sweet and understanding, he makes me coffee and then gives me water. we chat for a while, and eventually call it a night. and the entire time i'm there i'm thinking wth am i doing? this is total self sabotage, i'm ruining everything!
he texted me this morning to make sure i was ok and see if i was feeling better. so yeah, still like the best dude ever. but i'm very worried that i totally wrecked everything.
Hopefully he will be understanding. Sorry you had a bad night.
@KylerJaye - deep breath and relax. Worrying about it won't do anything. Leave the next move to the good dude. I would suggest putting some "rules of thumb" or boundaries into place for yourself. Just my suggestions (and I have been known to self-sabotage!!) (1) suggested rule of thumb - don't talk to anyone you are dating about anyone else you go on a date with. Would you want to hear about great dude's other dates if there are any? (2) No contacting while drunk. It just works out better that way.
Many hugs to you. I don't think you've ruined anything but if that was enough to scare a dude away then let him go and a better one will come along. REALLY. I love your updates.
ETA - I see @peleroja and I have opposite advice about contacting dude. Here is the great thing - Just be yourself in this. If it is "you" to contact then do it. If it is not "you" to contact then don't.
While I am completely myself with my SO, because why would I want to be anyone else?, I took my time letting him get to know all my goofiness and quirks. I also let him do 90% of the contacting - and we are 1.5 years into a great relationship. Can I contact him? Of course, anytime and it would not negatively impact the relationship. On the other-hand, I like him making the effort to call me every night and him making *most* of the plans. I throw out suggestions and we usually do them too. However after a long marriage to a man who could not plan his way out of a paperbag I'm loving a man who can and does make the effort to get together with me. When we go somewhere for a weekend I usually pay for breakfast or lunch and he gets dinner. My budget is way less than his yet he loves when I pick up a tab now and then. He buys me a fancy dinner and drinks and I buy him a burger.
This sounds like my relationship too...I will buy lunch or something but he always pays for dinner and drinks.
I might just be a little too I-am-woman-hear-me-roar on this one, but for my own relationships, I don't think expecting a guy to do 90% of the work is really fair. I've always tried to meet men halfway and participate equally in things like plan-making and dinner-buying. But I think a lot of that is just personality and expectations of how you expect the relationship to continue, you know? My husband and I are really big on the equal-financial-partners, take-turns-paying thing because we have similar incomes and I feel icky about expecting that kind of thing from him because he's a man (on the same note, I said no to an expensive engagement ring because I didn't want him to spending more money on me than I'd be willing to spend on myself...) But...different strokes, right? As long as you both have the same expectations you get to make your own rules.
When it comes to paying, husband and I have all of our stuff together now which has worked out well (I think I mentioned it before). I take care of the finances.
A lot of guys I've dated always refused to let me pay for anything. I like it at first since I was raised old fashioned to believe it should be this way at first. After a while, I want to pay my share and feel guilty about not paying for anything. It doesn't help that I'm highly overpaid and out-earn 99% of the guys I've dated.
I am the opposite of old-fashioned so that kind of thing has never sat well with me. If a guy I dated insisted on paying for everything or didn't want me to plan dates too, it was always a sign that we weren't going to be compatible and it let me weed out a lot of dudes early on. I definitely do not want to be wooed.
I think my husband occasionally finds it amusing and he'll say "Okay, okay, you're an INDEPENDENT WOMAN and you don't need help," along with a little Beyonce dance when I decline offers of assistance, but it's good-natured and he is very respectful of my desire to do stuff for myself. He and my dad get pretty buddy-buddy at the dinner table when we see my parents telling stories about the silly things I insist on doing without help, but I remind them that my dad raised me that way and my husband married me anyway, so they're going to have to live with me carting seven bags of recycling eight stories down the stairs and teaching myself how to use power tools and renting a car in southern Africa to drive through the desert....
Bet you all didn't know I was so passionate about this, huh? Hahaha.
Hmm. Now, see the rest of this is me. I do not ask for help with ANYTHING. I don't even like accepting help when I don't ask. I'm trying to loosen up on that part, though. I'm pretty much the one in charge at my house.
When hubby and I first got married, several of my friends said they couldn't wait to meet him because they were SHOCKED that I got married again - I'm the most independent person they know.
As far as contacting the guy, I just can't be bothered to chase anybody, that comes from my past - being involved with a couple of self important dudes and feeling like I was chasing them constantly. NOT OK.
When it comes to the ring, I think he wanted to outdo the ring that he had given his ex, more than anything. I have a one-of-a-kind ring that he designed with the jeweler, diamond in a platinum setting. I love it.
This sparks a confession from me:
All my life I have struggled with accepting any help with anything (or gifts or compliments or anything else) from anyone too, even from my parents. I was the opposite of entitled, I refused almost everything and paid for myself from age 14 on for most things (Except food/housing when living at home.) I moved out and supported myself fully in another state at age 19 and refused help from anyone. I scraped by on almost nothing and refused money from my parents. Accepting help is something I'm really actively working on. I know that I'm delighted to offer my help to people, I love to help out, so I am turning that around and trying to let others help me sometimes too, especially in little ways. It is foreign to me but I am working on it. I am able to accept compliments now. SO is the first relationship that I have "let" a man pay more than 50/50 and that was a huge internal struggle for me at first. As I now know him and how he works more I see we have a good balance for the two of us. For us it works and makes things simpler. He wants to do things I can't afford to do and he wants me along with him. It is a no-brainer now. For me the accepting help or letting someone pay was a show of vulnerability or weakness and I am strong so why would I show weakness? I always felt I had to prove myself capable of doing it myself. In the past few years I've really worked a lot on letting myself be vulnerable and emotionally honest and open - even when I get burned from it and even when I can get hurt from it. I have been very honest about something with SO where it made me vulnerable and he didn't laugh at me but accepted and embraced it. He actually really liked that vulnerable part of me and has incorporated it into extra thoughtful things. That was a big one for me. Until SO and until the last few years I was fiercely independent and didn't let anyone do anything for me but for me personally I came to realize that it was not the best place for me personally in the long run to do everything all by myself. I can still do and take on whatever I want but I am trying to be more open to freely offered and well-intended help. This is my own little struggle and I'm rambling a bit here but sometimes writing things helps me put them together and I figure that someone else has similar experiences too.
~formerly a hear-me-roar, now a strong woman with some occasional help from people who love me. I'm still very much a flawed work in progress.
ETA: This might be my biggest struggle. Maybe that sounds silly but there it.
ETA another thought on my struggle with this. I used to think my accepting help meant I was doing something wrong and was not perceived as capable. Now I more see it as, he/she/whoever likes what I'm doing, believes in me, and wants to help me succeed.
I am similar to you in this regard. Not so much as a kid, but as an adult I am always the one paying and I have a really hard time letting anyone else pay. I am fiercely independent, to my detriment, and I am very suspicious of people and don't trust them. I let very few people get close to me. I get hurt super easy and have been burned by people I have put too much faith into. I love helping others...letting others help me, not so much.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Other than my wedding band, this is the only jewelry I own (and my most precious treasure). It's silver and only cost fifty dollars, but I love it more than Gollum loved his precious ring.
It was the very first gift given to me by my husband, and not because he "had to". Traditionally the groom has to buy the bride a super-fancy jewelry set that she'll wear at the wedding. He did so, and I hate it, and it's sitting in a corner waiting for gold prices to go back up so I can sell the ugly thing. He bought me this just because, and I treasure it.
Its beautiful. He is giving you wings.
These wings always remind me of the Tom Hanks movie Castaway with the fedex package with the wings on it.0
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