Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

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Replies

  • bkhamill
    bkhamill Posts: 1,289 Member
    I have to go get a cervical biopsy in a few minutes. I'm not looking forward to this.
  • raelynnsmama52512
    raelynnsmama52512 Posts: 1,184 Member
    bkhamill wrote: »
    I have to go get a cervical biopsy in a few minutes. I'm not looking forward to this.

    Hugs! Hoping everything is ok! ❤️
  • nonoelmo
    nonoelmo Posts: 3,941 Member
    bkhamill wrote: »
    I have to go get a cervical biopsy in a few minutes. I'm not looking forward to this.

    Good luck with the procedure and outcome
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    eMka11 wrote: »
    About 6 years ago I used to have an eating disorder.
    Due to severe malnutrition, my heart, kidneys and liver were failing.
    I was estimated to live for roughly 6 more weeks.

    Today that's long past me. I'm healthy, exercising, eating clean, varied and enough.
    I'm no longer having self-destructive thoughts about body or food.

    However, my girlfriend recently brought up she wanted to lose weight.
    She's healthy, and quite skinny already, and I'm scared to death.
    We've talked and fought a lot about it.

    I decided her feeling-good would go before my fears.
    So now I'm supporting her in her weight loss and we started exercising together. (As to where she never did any exercise..)

    I'm supporting her but it feels so wrong. It's so much against my nature.
    It's bringing back traumatic experiences I've gone through being admitted to an institution for EDs.

    I feel guilty because I told her about all of this, and she got mad.
    She got mad because she knew about my past already, but decided to be straightforward with me about it and now regrets it. She's mad because she's blaming herself for me feeling bad due to her own choices.
    At least that's what she believes, because ofcourse I'm scared mostly due to how in my head it links to past experiences.

    I know it might be irrational to think she's going to go the same route.
    But I know she too has seen both sides of the "weight" coin. (Having been both very skinny/chubby)

    As I said I'm supporting her, pushing my own thoughts and fears aside, but when I do that she just gets angry.
    Now she completely is reluctant to losing weight, I believe she's afraid to hurt me.
    I myself feel bad since I know she feels bad in her own body, but no longer dares to change it out of fear of my reaction to that.

    No matter how many times I tell her the 'problem' of my bad mood about the topic is my own personal experiences, she seems to always take it personally anyway.
    I'm being confronted with my past, yes, but then it's my responsibility to deal with it.
    It's almost as if she feels responsible, doesn't want me to have to deal with it, thus puts her own desires aside in the hope it would make me more happy.

    In truth it doesn't make either of us happy. I'm still trying to support her (though not pushing) in making healthier choices, subtly and not too often, cause I know I am ready to do so, and -I- just have to deal with my own mind.
    She told me that she needs 100% of support of everyone around her to be able to lose weight.
    I'm doing my best but she just ignores my efforts, she doesn't even accept my support.

    I'm not quite sure what to do.

    I'm sorry to hear how much you have been through and I can understand your current situation with your girlfriend can bring back all that. I believe in being honest with each other and I hope you both will eventually manage to find a way out and forward. I am not great in giving advice but I will keep fingers crossed for you and her.

    I'm glad you quoted this. It was a very well thought out confession and I didn't want to ignore it, but couldn't find it. @governatorkp I think recognizing that you need to look out for yourself even though you want to help your friend is very important. She should be more understanding of your situation as well. If not, that is selfish on her part. Stay strong, take care of yourself first, and realize that you can only do so much for someone else. Your intentions are good, which is all that matters.
  • raelynnsmama52512
    raelynnsmama52512 Posts: 1,184 Member
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    I really love this thread. You guys have helped me through a pretty hard time, and I have seen you help so many other people through hard times as well. People on the internet can be awful, but they can also be great. Best thread ever.

    Same here. This thread has affected my life in many ways. All good ways, which is why I struggle so much to keep up. But I have to accept that I cannot. I have to balance it out with real life, but I'll be here for as long as this thread exists!

    Same for me too. I feel like I've really gotten to know some of you really well, especially when we did the real name thing. Several hundred pages back. I've learned a lot and am very grateful for all of you. Thanks for being so accepting and friendly. Never go away, okay?!

    Is it too late for me to get in on that and tell everyone my name? Because I was just a lurker back then... I was just wondering about that yesterday!

    No! Fess up!

    ETA: Late to the party again! Your name is gorgeous, Sawsan!

    Your name is beautiful, Sawsan!

    I've got the quintessential 90s kid name (Stephanie), which is one of many reasons my kid has a relatively different (but not "weird") name. I went by my middle name (Rene-pronounced Renee', and I spelled it like normal) most of my childhood and teen years. I didn't want to embrace my name(s), until I was an adult, which looking back was pretty stupid.

    I think I missed the name section too somehow. Anyway, I have a very popular 80's name, so I can relate. My name is Amber.

    I've always liked the name Amber lol. I do know there were a lot of them when I was in school, just like Stephanies lol.

    Thank you. I was always jealous of my sister, because she has a much less common name and didn't have to be 'first name, last initial' all through school. I guess now she is easier to google though.

    Lol that's one reason why we chose our daughter's name (it's part of my username lol). I'm not seeing it become too much of a "trendy" name right now lol.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    I really love this thread. You guys have helped me through a pretty hard time, and I have seen you help so many other people through hard times as well. People on the internet can be awful, but they can also be great. Best thread ever.

    Same here. This thread has affected my life in many ways. All good ways, which is why I struggle so much to keep up. But I have to accept that I cannot. I have to balance it out with real life, but I'll be here for as long as this thread exists!

    Same for me too. I feel like I've really gotten to know some of you really well, especially when we did the real name thing. Several hundred pages back. I've learned a lot and am very grateful for all of you. Thanks for being so accepting and friendly. Never go away, okay?!
    I was late to that party. I'm Laura

    And, now I'm going to have to take notes to remember everyone's names!
  • girldownsouth
    girldownsouth Posts: 920 Member
    JPW1990 wrote: »
    I am currently listening to a co-worker b!tching at her husband on the phone. It has been going on all day, on and off. If I get up and shut her office door, do you think she'd get the point?!? >:)

    That or stand in it and take notes.

    Is it just annoying you or is it making you uncomfortable?

    I hated hearing the man in the cubicle next to me while I was in America Skype his wife. He treated her like she was some kind of moron who must be falling apart without him.

    Chauvinist pig!
  • kecmw25
    kecmw25 Posts: 2,743 Member
    I confess that I am addicted to chapstick. I carry it with me everywhere. I mention this because I just had a 2nd one bite the dust on me this week and I'm so glad I have a spare in my desk at work. It doesn't have to be the Chapstick brand. I will try all kinds and probably have 10 tubes at home. I bought myself some for my Christmas stocking last year.
  • JustMe2C
    JustMe2C Posts: 101 Member
    Thanks for the welcomes! :) And hi, sam!

    I think you all have great names. Mine is Carol. Now what in the world can you do with that...other than start singing Christmas songs?! LOL
  • Oberon21
    Oberon21 Posts: 13,235 Member
    Just_Ceci wrote: »
    JPW1990 wrote: »
    ythannah wrote: »
    JPW1990 wrote: »
    ythannah wrote: »
    JPW1990 wrote: »
    ythannah wrote: »
    JPW1990 wrote: »
    ythannah wrote: »
    ShibaEars wrote: »
    tigerThea wrote: »
    ShibaEars wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    Rabbit914 wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    Sounds like you're a naturally strong person, so you probably don't need it. I do. I'm quite the weakling. Well, physically anyway. Mentally, no. Mentally I'm known as the Boot Camp Drill Sargent in my family. Physically, well??? Let's just say that sometimes going in and out of the grocery store I step onto the automatic door thingy and the door doesn't open. Thankfully, I learned from "Toy Story" to jump up and down once or twice and the door opens. My son finds this highly amusing and will lag behind me just to watch it happen.

    See and I can picture that and it's awesome. haha

    Awesomely embarrassing, yes!

    I don't jump up and down, but sometimes I have to cha cha back and forth to catch the sensor. We'd be a blast trying to get into the store together.

    I can join your little group. I was following someone into a store one day and the door almost closed on me. Scared the crap outta me and I probably looked funny jumping out of the way. Maybe all three of us could get it to work lol.

    Apparently I walk too fast....or lack a soul, I have walked into those darn doors more than once. Maybe I'll try disco dancing up to them to give the doors a chance.

    LOL, that's what I've said about myself when they won't work :grin:

    I am currently drinking a protein shake. Why, oh why can they not make a protein powder that tastes good?!

    Two words: Dyna Whey. Available at Superstore (and Costco, if you have one).

    But ONLY in Canada, because you are greedy protein that doesn't taste icky bastages.

    Oh, gosh. You weren't supposed to see that. o:)

    I seriously think of you every damn morning when I open the container (it's in Tupperware) and the aroma of iced cappuccino wafts out at me.

    Which brings me to a strange confession... for someone who loathes cooking, and all aspects of meal preparation, I own craploads of Tupperware. All acquired in my younger years when I was not very well off, and that stuff's bloody expensive. I think maybe I had a fantasy that it would make me enjoy cooking, or make it easier, or something like that.

    When I first moved out, I had all my mom's old tupperware, and then my aunt sent me a giant box full because she bought all new. I have it in 80's pastels and 70's avocado and pumpkin. Between my husband and I, we cook ALL the time, but we never bother with the tupperware. We use gladlock containers and freezer bags for everything.

    I bet you don't have the gigantic cake taker caddy thing, which has only ever seen use as a bucket when my water tank pressure valve decided to leak. How about the pick-a-deli? (And I never buy pickles!) TWO sets of the canisters? Enough mixing bowls to start your own bakery?

    Sadly, the only piece that I didn't purchase is the big divided server thing, for fresh fruit or veggies. Somebody unloaded it on me. And I don't entertain.

    I had the cake taker. Then I used it for the intended purpose, and put a cake in it. That resulted in everyone forgetting there was a cake in it, and when I remembered and took it down, it was moldy. Which is why I had a cake taker but no longer have a cake taker. I have the popsicle molds, though.

    Want another cake taker? :)

    I have two of the pie takers. I use them a lot for transporting cheesecake to potluck events, and for keeping cheesecake in the fridge... because even I can't finish off a 9" cheesecake in a few days.

    Mmm... cheesecake...

    No thanks, the inherent problem with the cake taker is you can't see the cake inside, so forget it's there.

    I don't understand this concept of forgetting there is cake!

    Ditto I had the same reaction. How do you forget cake????
  • CountessKitteh
    CountessKitteh Posts: 1,505 Member
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    I really love this thread. You guys have helped me through a pretty hard time, and I have seen you help so many other people through hard times as well. People on the internet can be awful, but they can also be great. Best thread ever.

    Same here. This thread has affected my life in many ways. All good ways, which is why I struggle so much to keep up. But I have to accept that I cannot. I have to balance it out with real life, but I'll be here for as long as this thread exists!

    Same for me too. I feel like I've really gotten to know some of you really well, especially when we did the real name thing. Several hundred pages back. I've learned a lot and am very grateful for all of you. Thanks for being so accepting and friendly. Never go away, okay?!

    Is it too late for me to get in on that and tell everyone my name? Because I was just a lurker back then... I was just wondering about that yesterday!

    Go for it. I was just a lurker then too. My name is Jody :)

    Ooh, yay! I'm Sawsan. :) It's an Arabic name, and sounds nothing like Suzanne, which is what every non-Arab seems to call me. -_- It sounds like So-Sen (With a sssss sound, like in snake) and it means lily flower.

    Can you tell that I was totally looking forward to sharing all that? :o

    Lilies are my favorite!
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,741 Member
    bkhamill wrote: »
    I have to go get a cervical biopsy in a few minutes. I'm not looking forward to this.

    Hope all goes well!
  • kecmw25
    kecmw25 Posts: 2,743 Member
    Confession #2 of the day: Last Friday, I was chatting with one of the security guards and he told me it was his birthday. So I did what I thought was amusing and underestimated his age. He asked me if I was flirting with him and I was so embarrassed, I probably turned bright red. Now when I see him I try to be nice but not flirtatious but it still feels awkward.

    2nd part of the confession, Monday when I asked him how his bday was, he told me he got to have cake and steak. Now I want cake and steak.
  • CooCooPuff
    CooCooPuff Posts: 4,374 Member
    bkhamill wrote: »
    I have to go get a cervical biopsy in a few minutes. I'm not looking forward to this.
    I wish you well!

  • Oberon21
    Oberon21 Posts: 13,235 Member
    pofoster21 wrote: »
    sngqfx8x5p1k.jpg

    Sharing a picture of Phoebe and me from Sunday. We moved up to 3' (tried a few years ago and we had a few issues, so backed down and have been working on it every since -- my issues not hers) and tried again this past Sunday. She was amazing and we ROCKED it. :)

    Plus, this is my first time trying to post a photo in here from my computer. I made it work on tablet, have never been able to figure out phone, so let's see if desktop works!

    That is an awesome picture! Phoebe is beautiful! You look a little scared. Is that the "issue" you were talking about? (I rode as a kid, then developed an allergy to horses through puberty and can't ride anymore. Broke out in huge hives and almost had to go to the ER.) I remember having to work through my fear sometimes so my horse wouldn't pick up on it.

    No, not scared. Once I get over the first fence I am pretty much not scared. It was getting over that first fence! I was more worried I would do something to cause her to stop. She only stops if she senses uncertainty in you or if you miss a distance. I had a hard left turn there to get to the next jump. But... in all the pictures I look like that. I think I may just be really really concentrating. :) Its more of a grimace. I have to work on looking prettier and similing when I go over a jump instead of looking like I am literally picking up all 1200 lbs of her and throwing her over the fence!!!!!!!!!
  • rungirl1973
    rungirl1973 Posts: 2,559 Member
    sam3790 wrote: »
    First time posting. Hello everyone!
    I've done sooo may of these confessions, especially the ones that involve not actually tracking when I should or not tracking my weight unless I've lost.
    Mine is... I think I'm secretly trying to make my fiance fatter so I feel better. I always bring him cake and stuff from where I work and I get kinda irritated when he loses weight which makes me feel a little bad. He's at a healthy weight though and doesn't really need to lose, but it seems like guys lose it so much easier.. I'm also NOT anorexic and I think all those "pro-ana" sites are pretty horrible if people really have a problem and need help, but sometimes the "thinspiration" and tips for when you're hungry kinda help (although I'm not into the super boney look)

    Welcome to the party!
    One of my exes was 6'7" and 180 lbs. I definitely tried to fatten him up. I only weighed 25 lbs less than him, and I'm 11" shorter!
  • Susieq_1994
    Susieq_1994 Posts: 5,361 Member
    Well, I have a not-so-confessiony confession (that sounded weird.). I've mentioned here before that I was writing a book on an amateur writing website (Wattpad). Today, I finally finished the book! I just posted the final chapter like... Fifteen minutes ago.

    My husband refused to read it until it was fully complete (he hates incomplete things, whether they're books or series) but he wanted to read it when it was done. So, he read it today, and I was really nervous because he's usually reeeeally picky about the books he reads. He said that he enjoyed it and the plot was really unique! (very rare praise from him) I'm SO GIDDY RIGHT NOW. :D

    I also got tons of feedback on how unique and original the storyline is from almost every single commenter, so now I feel all warm and fuzzy and special. ;) Yay me!
  • AngryViking1970
    AngryViking1970 Posts: 2,847 Member
    When I log my weight, I go by the first three numbers on the scale. None of those decimal points for me!

    I am a loon; I just spent like 30 minutes looking for my first confession and found it on page 61. It's like I don't have actual work to do or something.
  • MoHousdon
    MoHousdon Posts: 8,723 Member
    edited June 2015
    For those of you that don't know, my name is Monique. Unlike some of you, there are LOTS of nicknames/parodies for it. The thing that's most annoying about having an uncommon name, is that I can never find any personalized items with my name. You can find Monica all day long, but I've only found a Monique keychain once and you better believe I bought that baby.

  • FroggyBug
    FroggyBug Posts: 4,883 Member
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    FroggyBug wrote: »
    I really love this thread. You guys have helped me through a pretty hard time, and I have seen you help so many other people through hard times as well. People on the internet can be awful, but they can also be great. Best thread ever.

    Agreed. :)
    Ditto. How are you doing today, Froggy?

    I'm hanging in there. Last night was rough (cried a lot) but I'm doing better today so far. I keep having to remind myself that whatever happens will happen for a reason. I try to keep busy.

    Thanks for asking!
  • Oberon21
    Oberon21 Posts: 13,235 Member
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    Last time I stayed at a hotel, I took some of the little cups of peanut butter from the continental breakfast. I'm eating one now, with a spoon, as a snack. :p

    Thief! Just kidding. That is a fabulous idea! I buy the little pre portioned cups of hummus so I don't have to weigh it out. It's WAY more expensive, but my time is precious and I don't want to spend it weighing out a really sad amount of hummus.

    No judgement, but store-bought hummus is sad no matter what size or form it comes in! :o You can never beat homemade hummus. In fact, I just had some that I made a couple of days ago for dinner with Iranian-style kabab kubbideh! Yum. <3

    I've been meaning to make hummus for weeks, but I'm worried that I will eat the entire batch in a week three days.

    I usually just make enough for 8 very small servings (like enough to spread on a kabab/chicken sandwich) or two big fat servings (that would make up a whole meal) or four medium servings (enough for a side dish). All that to say that I make about 500 grams of it at a time. Heh.

    Confession: I'm just really super fed-up with myself. Ever since I've started "slipping" I've basically been tightening my "restriction" belt more and more and more. Baking ingredients? Banned from the house. Sweets? Banned from the house. Butter? Banned. Sugar? Banned. And yet, I still manage to mess up, because I'm just that awesome. And you know what? I'm sick of it.

    I told my husband last night that if I keep this up, we're not going to have any food left in the house at all soon. :-/ The last straw for me was when I slipped up (2000+ calories over maintenance) because of trying to bake something (out of desperation) with a bunch of substitutes that tasted NASTY, and it turned out that I could have had the same amount of the real stuff for much less calories than that... It's like I just keep on baking because baking is "bad" (and yet I really love baking) and so tempting to do because I feel like I can't ever do it again if I'm being "good".

    So you know what I did? I threw out everything I've been doing for these last few months. Everything. I went out and I bought flour, sugars, butter, baking powder, chocolate, and then I baked a big ole batch of chocolate chip cookies. I now have a freezer full of cookies and two big bags of chocolate chips and a whole bunch of ingredients to bake more WHENEVER I WANT. And that feels freeing.

    I did slip up eat more cookies than I intended to yesterday, BUT I didn't eat the whole tray like I did every single time before this because "I have to finish these so I won't mess up again tomorrow!". Well, it's tomorrow now. There are still plenty of cookies. And there will be plenty the day after too. And I don't need to have one right now, because I can have one later. And that feels freeing, too.

    Will this work? I really have absolutely no idea. But I'm really, really, really sick of all this "forbidden" and "good" and "bad" and not being able to bake. So I'm throwing everything out of the window and starting over again. Send me good vibes?

    Sorry for the novel. :)

    Yep! All the good vibes! Food is not good or bad or forbidden. It just is. It provides energy to your body. I'm planning on eating ice cream for dinner tonight (husband and son will be out of town). I have no guilt about that at all. It's a planned treat. It puts me 230 calories over for the day. But, if I hit the gym on the way home from work, which I plan to do, I should be fine.

    Logically, I completely and utterly know that. I really do. I even have a college-level diploma in nutrition, the course of which I graduated from with a perfect 4.0 GPA to prove that I shouldn't be such a moron.

    I used to have a better relationship with food, believe it or not. I could have one cookie and then say no because I didn't have calories for the rest, and I could keep all kinds of goodies in my house/fridge to eat small bits of when I had the calories for them. I'm honestly not sure what happened. I think it was that I would mess up, then restrict a little bit, then mess up again, and so on... And restriction begets restriction, and I kept restriciting further to "fix" the inevitable slips that I keep making.

    But that's it. I'm done. No more "no" to anything--Or at least that's the plan. No more "I have to finish all of these so I won't have more of them to mess up again tomorrow". It just has to stop; it's such a horrible downward spiral. :-/

    Hey, so stupid question, but didn't you post a while ago that you had just gotten your GED? Or am I confused on that?

    And I think you are taking the right approach to your eating. Restrictions just lead to binging. Because of course then you become obsessed (at least I do!).
  • nonoelmo
    nonoelmo Posts: 3,941 Member
    Well, I have a not-so-confessiony confession (that sounded weird.). I've mentioned here before that I was writing a book on an amateur writing website (Wattpad). Today, I finally finished the book! I just posted the final chapter like... Fifteen minutes ago.

    My husband refused to read it until it was fully complete (he hates incomplete things, whether they're books or series) but he wanted to read it when it was done. So, he read it today, and I was really nervous because he's usually reeeeally picky about the books he reads. He said that he enjoyed it and the plot was really unique! (very rare praise from him) I'm SO GIDDY RIGHT NOW. :D

    I also got tons of feedback on how unique and original the storyline is from almost every single commenter, so now I feel all warm and fuzzy and special. ;) Yay me!


    Great job! Congrats! Yay you.
  • kecmw25
    kecmw25 Posts: 2,743 Member
    edited June 2015
    peleroja wrote: »
    And I should add that I married into a Polish -ski last name that sounds pretty funny with my clearly-of-another-ethnicity first name, so my name is pretty weird now because I'm not from either of those cultures anyway.

    My maiden name is a ski name. I kinda hated it when I was a kid but grew to love it. I (jokingly) tried to talk my husband into taking my name but he wanted no part of it. Also, my maiden name started with a W and was 10 letters long, my married name starts with an A and is 5 letters.
  • CountessKitteh
    CountessKitteh Posts: 1,505 Member
    edited June 2015
    bkhamill wrote: »
    I have to go get a cervical biopsy in a few minutes. I'm not looking forward to this.

    Good luck! I spend my days dealing with those sorts of things after they leave the doc's office, so I can totally (try to) answer questions or concerns if you have them!

    ETA: Occasionally I forget to put all the words in the sentance.
  • Susieq_1994
    Susieq_1994 Posts: 5,361 Member
    pofoster21 wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    Last time I stayed at a hotel, I took some of the little cups of peanut butter from the continental breakfast. I'm eating one now, with a spoon, as a snack. :p

    Thief! Just kidding. That is a fabulous idea! I buy the little pre portioned cups of hummus so I don't have to weigh it out. It's WAY more expensive, but my time is precious and I don't want to spend it weighing out a really sad amount of hummus.

    No judgement, but store-bought hummus is sad no matter what size or form it comes in! :o You can never beat homemade hummus. In fact, I just had some that I made a couple of days ago for dinner with Iranian-style kabab kubbideh! Yum. <3

    I've been meaning to make hummus for weeks, but I'm worried that I will eat the entire batch in a week three days.

    I usually just make enough for 8 very small servings (like enough to spread on a kabab/chicken sandwich) or two big fat servings (that would make up a whole meal) or four medium servings (enough for a side dish). All that to say that I make about 500 grams of it at a time. Heh.

    Confession: I'm just really super fed-up with myself. Ever since I've started "slipping" I've basically been tightening my "restriction" belt more and more and more. Baking ingredients? Banned from the house. Sweets? Banned from the house. Butter? Banned. Sugar? Banned. And yet, I still manage to mess up, because I'm just that awesome. And you know what? I'm sick of it.

    I told my husband last night that if I keep this up, we're not going to have any food left in the house at all soon. :-/ The last straw for me was when I slipped up (2000+ calories over maintenance) because of trying to bake something (out of desperation) with a bunch of substitutes that tasted NASTY, and it turned out that I could have had the same amount of the real stuff for much less calories than that... It's like I just keep on baking because baking is "bad" (and yet I really love baking) and so tempting to do because I feel like I can't ever do it again if I'm being "good".

    So you know what I did? I threw out everything I've been doing for these last few months. Everything. I went out and I bought flour, sugars, butter, baking powder, chocolate, and then I baked a big ole batch of chocolate chip cookies. I now have a freezer full of cookies and two big bags of chocolate chips and a whole bunch of ingredients to bake more WHENEVER I WANT. And that feels freeing.

    I did slip up eat more cookies than I intended to yesterday, BUT I didn't eat the whole tray like I did every single time before this because "I have to finish these so I won't mess up again tomorrow!". Well, it's tomorrow now. There are still plenty of cookies. And there will be plenty the day after too. And I don't need to have one right now, because I can have one later. And that feels freeing, too.

    Will this work? I really have absolutely no idea. But I'm really, really, really sick of all this "forbidden" and "good" and "bad" and not being able to bake. So I'm throwing everything out of the window and starting over again. Send me good vibes?

    Sorry for the novel. :)

    Yep! All the good vibes! Food is not good or bad or forbidden. It just is. It provides energy to your body. I'm planning on eating ice cream for dinner tonight (husband and son will be out of town). I have no guilt about that at all. It's a planned treat. It puts me 230 calories over for the day. But, if I hit the gym on the way home from work, which I plan to do, I should be fine.

    Logically, I completely and utterly know that. I really do. I even have a college-level diploma in nutrition, the course of which I graduated from with a perfect 4.0 GPA to prove that I shouldn't be such a moron.

    I used to have a better relationship with food, believe it or not. I could have one cookie and then say no because I didn't have calories for the rest, and I could keep all kinds of goodies in my house/fridge to eat small bits of when I had the calories for them. I'm honestly not sure what happened. I think it was that I would mess up, then restrict a little bit, then mess up again, and so on... And restriction begets restriction, and I kept restriciting further to "fix" the inevitable slips that I keep making.

    But that's it. I'm done. No more "no" to anything--Or at least that's the plan. No more "I have to finish all of these so I won't have more of them to mess up again tomorrow". It just has to stop; it's such a horrible downward spiral. :-/

    Hey, so stupid question, but didn't you post a while ago that you had just gotten your GED? Or am I confused on that?

    And I think you are taking the right approach to your eating. Restrictions just lead to binging. Because of course then you become obsessed (at least I do!).

    Yup, I did. Strangely enough, I was able to get this diploma before I even got a high school diploma. Proof of high school graduation wasn't required to participate in the course, so I just conveniently didn't mention that I didn't have one. Shhhh! ;)
  • FroggyBug
    FroggyBug Posts: 4,883 Member
    I am currently listening to a co-worker b!tching at her husband on the phone. It has been going on all day, on and off. If I get up and shut her office door, do you think she'd get the point?!? >:)

    I've seen people at my work do that when people are on speakerphone conference calls.
  • CountessKitteh
    CountessKitteh Posts: 1,505 Member
    JustMe2C wrote: »
    Thanks for the welcomes! :) And hi, sam!

    I think you all have great names. Mine is Carol. Now what in the world can you do with that...other than start singing Christmas songs?! LOL

    My dad calls my mom Carolly, if that helps. Ha!
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    kecmw25 wrote: »
    I confess that I am addicted to chapstick. I carry it with me everywhere. I mention this because I just had a 2nd one bite the dust on me this week and I'm so glad I have a spare in my desk at work. It doesn't have to be the Chapstick brand. I will try all kinds and probably have 10 tubes at home. I bought myself some for my Christmas stocking last year.

    Ooh! I got the best stuff! It came in a package I ordered from Amazon, even though I didn't order it. It says "Prickly Pear Moisturizing Lipcare" with SP 15. It is seriously THE BEST!!!
  • girldownsouth
    girldownsouth Posts: 920 Member
    I can't remember if I said last time around, but I'm Julie. Nice to get to know a few more of you.

    Welcome back, glad you had a great holiday and good luck @bkhamill

    I have a Polish last name, my grandad was Polish. I was really offended when I got asked a few years back if I'd married a pole!! It's part of my heritage, and I always though I got a lot of how I look from that side. I guess I must just be that age.
  • riderfangal
    riderfangal Posts: 1,965 Member
    Well, I have a not-so-confessiony confession (that sounded weird.). I've mentioned here before that I was writing a book on an amateur writing website (Wattpad). Today, I finally finished the book! I just posted the final chapter like... Fifteen minutes ago.

    My husband refused to read it until it was fully complete (he hates incomplete things, whether they're books or series) but he wanted to read it when it was done. So, he read it today, and I was really nervous because he's usually reeeeally picky about the books he reads. He said that he enjoyed it and the plot was really unique! (very rare praise from him) I'm SO GIDDY RIGHT NOW. :D

    I also got tons of feedback on how unique and original the storyline is from almost every single commenter, so now I feel all warm and fuzzy and special. ;) Yay me!

    Congratulations. That's a big deal. I am envious of people that have the ability to write!!