Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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52cardpickup wrote: »I made my co-workers go with me to the Whole Foods down the street from my work on our lunch break to look for a specific kind of ice cream (Halo Top), which they didn't have, even though other Whole Foods' carry it. My co-workers were trying to be helpful in suggesting other kinds of ice cream, but totally missed the point of this specific ice cream in the first place, which made me unreasonably internally pouty and now I feel bad. (The ice cream I was looking for has 70 calories per serving, 7 grams of protein, 4 grams of carbs, and 3 grams of fat. Ben and Jerry's isn't going to cut it, no matter how delicious it is
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Also, they kind of think I'm a nut, now, for caring that much about a brand of ice cream.
I can completely relate to that, apart from the fact that I would have to be very comfortable with someone to drag them to a store for a specific treat, lol.
How is that ice cream, though? It kinda sounds too good to be true.
Confession - I'm completely procrastinating on filling the dishwasher.0 -
Yes, I agree with all of this. So sorry you're having to deal with this, Froggy.quiksylver296 wrote: »
Thanks for the replies guys. This is why my heart is broken and I've been so (BEYOND) depressed lately. I haven't talked to him since last Sunday. I have cried every day.
I did the bad thing and checked on his phone because he's been so secretive (I was able to guess the password). I saw a lot of things that I never wanted to see.
I love him so I'm struggling with my feelings right now. I know most people can't change but maybe therapy? I don't know. I am in that strange place where I don't want to be without him but I don't want to be with him if he can't change.
Sorry to complain. I feel like it's cheating too since it's a violation of trust and he is being inappropriate. We are going to meet up Friday to talk. This is the guy I've been with for almost 11 years.
Now is the time you prioritize YOUR best interests, long term. Don't be too hasty to make a decision. Think it through. Then think it through some more. Ask opinions from friends you can trust to give you a solid 'outside looking in' opinion.
Starting with question 1, and the most important, can YOU recover from this and eventually forgive him? Like truuuuly forgive him? As in once it's put to rest, never to be brought up or used as a tool to start a fight when you have a bad day? (It's ok to answer NO because you have done no wrong here).
Question 2 is do you think he is truly remorseful for his actions and want to prove to you he can change? Or is he just sorry he got caught? The key here is him agreeing to YOUR terms in FULL. 100% disclosure with access everything sensitive... all emails, phone texts, phone bills, etc.
The bold question is important. Very. I have a friend who cheated on his wife. They stayed together for the kids. (wrong reason, but it's not my place to say) She uses his cheating as power over him. Manipulates him with it. Yes, it was wrong. It was a one-time thing, though (with alcohol involved; no excuse but it wasn't premeditated or planned). You have to be able to truly forgive and forget for either one of you to be happy.
We make mistakes but we should NOT defined and identified by our mistakes (unless you're a serial killer or something).
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52cardpickup wrote: »I made my co-workers go with me to the Whole Foods down the street from my work on our lunch break to look for a specific kind of ice cream (Halo Top), which they didn't have, even though other Whole Foods' carry it. My co-workers were trying to be helpful in suggesting other kinds of ice cream, but totally missed the point of this specific ice cream in the first place, which made me unreasonably internally pouty and now I feel bad. (The ice cream I was looking for has 70 calories per serving, 7 grams of protein, 4 grams of carbs, and 3 grams of fat. Ben and Jerry's isn't going to cut it, no matter how delicious it is )
Also, they kind of think I'm a nut, now, for caring that much about a brand of ice cream.
I can completely relate to that, apart from the fact that I would have to be very comfortable with someone to drag them to a store for a specific treat, lol.
How is that ice cream, though? It kinda sounds too good to be true.
Everyone and their mother in another group I belong to (/r/xxfitness and the associated Facebook group) RAVES about it (specifically the Lemon Cake kind), so I thought it would be worthwhile to at least TRY it. I thought I'd buy it at work, because there are a bunch of fitness-minded people here who would help me devour it if I didn't like it. Alas, the store nearest me did not have it. I don't like artificially sweetened things, but when they're sweetened with sugar alcohols as opposed to aspartame I don't mind them as much, and if it's frozen it's even harder to taste the "fakeness" of it, so I thought I'd give it a go.
I'm going to see where else I can get it, and report back.0 -
I do!52cardpickup wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Definitely that.
Thirded. In this day and age, some people may have different opinions of what cheating is, but I FIRMLY believe that his behavior constitutes cheating, and I think you'll find the vast majority of people would agree.
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I caught up!
Confession: The chaos of the last three weeks has completely thrown off my groove. I'm finding it very difficult to get my head back in the game.
As for the exam, I felt reasonably prepared, but it was also really hard. So, we'll have to see how the results come back! (in 6-12 business days - that's a weird range, right?)0 -
Quite normal, I think! Don't feel shallow.kadsmaller wrote: »ummm, I keep looking out for my ex-husband and his new wife so that they can see how good I look (shallow, I know).
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Last time I stayed at a hotel, I took some of the little cups of peanut butter from the continental breakfast. I'm eating one now, with a spoon, as a snack.
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Way too wide a range!CountessKitteh wrote: »I caught up!
Confession: The chaos of the last three weeks has completely thrown off my groove. I'm finding it very difficult to get my head back in the game.
As for the exam, I felt reasonably prepared, but it was also really hard. So, we'll have to see how the results come back! (in 6-12 business days - that's a weird range, right?)
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That's called 'smart portion control'!quiksylver296 wrote: »Last time I stayed at a hotel, I took some of the little cups of peanut butter from the continental breakfast. I'm eating one now, with a spoon, as a snack.
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That's called 'smart portion control'!quiksylver296 wrote: »Last time I stayed at a hotel, I took some of the little cups of peanut butter from the continental breakfast. I'm eating one now, with a spoon, as a snack.
Also called "genius"0 -
52cardpickup wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »I made my co-workers go with me to the Whole Foods down the street from my work on our lunch break to look for a specific kind of ice cream (Halo Top), which they didn't have, even though other Whole Foods' carry it. My co-workers were trying to be helpful in suggesting other kinds of ice cream, but totally missed the point of this specific ice cream in the first place, which made me unreasonably internally pouty and now I feel bad. (The ice cream I was looking for has 70 calories per serving, 7 grams of protein, 4 grams of carbs, and 3 grams of fat. Ben and Jerry's isn't going to cut it, no matter how delicious it is )
Also, they kind of think I'm a nut, now, for caring that much about a brand of ice cream.
I can completely relate to that, apart from the fact that I would have to be very comfortable with someone to drag them to a store for a specific treat, lol.
How is that ice cream, though? It kinda sounds too good to be true.
Everyone and their mother in another group I belong to (/r/xxfitness and the associated Facebook group) RAVES about it (specifically the Lemon Cake kind), so I thought it would be worthwhile to at least TRY it. I thought I'd buy it at work, because there are a bunch of fitness-minded people here who would help me devour it if I didn't like it. Alas, the store nearest me did not have it. I don't like artificially sweetened things, but when they're sweetened with sugar alcohols as opposed to aspartame I don't mind them as much, and if it's frozen it's even harder to taste the "fakeness" of it, so I thought I'd give it a go.
I'm going to see where else I can get it, and report back.
I am now on a quest...0 -
CountessKitteh wrote: »I caught up!
Confession: The chaos of the last three weeks has completely thrown off my groove. I'm finding it very difficult to get my head back in the game.
As for the exam, I felt reasonably prepared, but it was also really hard. So, we'll have to see how the results come back! (in 6-12 business days - that's a weird range, right?)
Not only weird, but seems like an eternity. Hoping for passing results!0 -
This all makes me feel better about my choice NOT to weight train. I think I am quite strong. I can move the big water jugs and I rarely have to ask for help with anything. I was mad because I couldn't move the 50lb bag of sand at the hardware store the other day, but when the (very) hefty guy came to do it, he also struggled and when I got it home I realised it was actually an 80lb bag. And the sand was wet!smashley_mashley wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »
Serious question here: What if you don't want that? I'm 47 - the only people who see me naked is my husband and my dog (she judges me - she recently lost 15% of her bodyweight and is smug about it). I live in a climate where I'm covered up a lot of the time. All I really want is to look ok in my clothes. I feel like MFP is often all about lifting weights, and I'm just not interested in doing that.52cardpickup wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Confession: I don’t know what my goal weight should be. I’m 5’9 and currently weigh 221. (That’s a big step since I’ve never admitted that to anyone!) I had the goal set at 200, but didn’t feel like that was low enough. It’s now set at 190, but now I don’t feel like that is low enough either. I weighed 180 the year before my son was born and felt awesome. I weighed 160 when I graduated from high school (and thought I was fat). I know I’ll probably find a weight where I feel comfortable and don’t have to kill myself in the gym every day. I understand all the numbers. Just not sure if I can get back to the 160s mainly because I don’t know if I have the dedication. Looking for some advice from some of you. That seems like a lot of numbers and rambling.
I'm 5'9" and currently 134. I was originally looking to get down to 135, but I'm now looking to pack on some weight again in the form of muscle. Not sure if I want to do that in the form of a bulk or a recomp. I'd be happy to send you some progress photos, if that would help you.
My biggest regret is not weight training more consistently in my weight loss, if I'm being honest.
Eventually, once goals are close to being met or have already passed, this is what it will come down to. If you want to be skinny as a rail, fine. Diet and cardio all day, every day. But unless you are naturally blessed, if you want a fitness magazine cover body, you HAVE to do some strength training.
I agree with all of this. I feel like there's a lot of pressure from a lot of people to jump on the weight lifting bandwagon for aesthetic reasons, and a lot of people throw out "LIFT HEAVY" as the be all and end all of exercise without considering other people's interest/disinterest/goals/physical limitations/aspirations/time/what have you.
This morning there was a thread started by a person who was depressed because they weighed in at 501 pounds, and one of the first suggestions was that they start squatting and deadlifting. Seriously? SMDH. I get the feeling that people don't read the original post, they just respond with an automatic blurb.
On the other hand, weight lifting (OR resistance training, and THAT IS THE KEY!) is great for reasons aside from aesthetics... it strengthens bones and bone density, aids in living independently into old age, etc. It doesn't mean that you have to squat 300 lbs and bench press 1000, or look like Arnold, or stand in front of the mirror kissing your muscles and taking selfies. I just believe that an exercise routine should be balanced like an "eating routine" (don'twanttosaydiet) should be balanced.
sorry if this came across as judge-y *hangs head in shame and slinks off*
I bolded both because I agree with both. I think there is a lot of emphasis on heavy lifting and I have browsed the 5x5 ( looks kind of scary). My goal isn't to be magazine cover fit, I am fine with being "average" with some squish as long as I can fit into regular sized clothes.
But I am also in @52cardpickup's camp because since I have been doing strength training, I love being able to help carry appliances in the house or lift the couch whereas before I struggled.
I lift weights to feel strong too, I'd love to have a good looking body but strength is my main goal now.
I love that I can scoff in the grocery store employee's faces when they ask "Do you need a hand out with that?". I love that I can lift my own boxes at work rather than waiting for a man to come do it (My feminist streak rages when I hear someone say this).
I'm with ya on that! I have a Deep Rock water cooler at home. Our tap water is super gross and I cannot drink it at all. I drink oodles of water every day and am reliant on that water cooler, but the huge jugs of water have always been a problem for me. First, my husband changed the water. Then the boys did it as they got older, but then they moved out. My husband is retired but is busy either golfing or working his part-time job on the weekends, so sometimes I'd have to go get my neighbor to change it for me. However, due to lifting I can finally do it myself! I'm unreasonably happy about this.
Sounds like you're a naturally strong person, so you probably don't need it. I do. I'm quite the weakling. Well, physically anyway. Mentally, no. Mentally I'm known as the Boot Camp Drill Sargent in my family. Physically, well??? Let's just say that sometimes going in and out of the grocery store I step onto the automatic door thingy and the door doesn't open. Thankfully, I learned from "Toy Story" to jump up and down once or twice and the door opens. My son finds this highly amusing and will lag behind me just to watch it happen.0 -
52cardpickup wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »I made my co-workers go with me to the Whole Foods down the street from my work on our lunch break to look for a specific kind of ice cream (Halo Top), which they didn't have, even though other Whole Foods' carry it. My co-workers were trying to be helpful in suggesting other kinds of ice cream, but totally missed the point of this specific ice cream in the first place, which made me unreasonably internally pouty and now I feel bad. (The ice cream I was looking for has 70 calories per serving, 7 grams of protein, 4 grams of carbs, and 3 grams of fat. Ben and Jerry's isn't going to cut it, no matter how delicious it is )
Also, they kind of think I'm a nut, now, for caring that much about a brand of ice cream.
I can completely relate to that, apart from the fact that I would have to be very comfortable with someone to drag them to a store for a specific treat, lol.
How is that ice cream, though? It kinda sounds too good to be true.
Everyone and their mother in another group I belong to (/r/xxfitness and the associated Facebook group) RAVES about it (specifically the Lemon Cake kind), so I thought it would be worthwhile to at least TRY it. I thought I'd buy it at work, because there are a bunch of fitness-minded people here who would help me devour it if I didn't like it. Alas, the store nearest me did not have it. I don't like artificially sweetened things, but when they're sweetened with sugar alcohols as opposed to aspartame I don't mind them as much, and if it's frozen it's even harder to taste the "fakeness" of it, so I thought I'd give it a go.
I'm going to see where else I can get it, and report back.
I am now on a quest...
Save yourself some time and potential embarrassment in front of co-workers! http://www.halotop.com/where-to-buy/ (I did not know this existed prior to my lunch time adventure...
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52cardpickup wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »I made my co-workers go with me to the Whole Foods down the street from my work on our lunch break to look for a specific kind of ice cream (Halo Top), which they didn't have, even though other Whole Foods' carry it. My co-workers were trying to be helpful in suggesting other kinds of ice cream, but totally missed the point of this specific ice cream in the first place, which made me unreasonably internally pouty and now I feel bad. (The ice cream I was looking for has 70 calories per serving, 7 grams of protein, 4 grams of carbs, and 3 grams of fat. Ben and Jerry's isn't going to cut it, no matter how delicious it is )
Also, they kind of think I'm a nut, now, for caring that much about a brand of ice cream.
I can completely relate to that, apart from the fact that I would have to be very comfortable with someone to drag them to a store for a specific treat, lol.
How is that ice cream, though? It kinda sounds too good to be true.
Everyone and their mother in another group I belong to (/r/xxfitness and the associated Facebook group) RAVES about it (specifically the Lemon Cake kind), so I thought it would be worthwhile to at least TRY it. I thought I'd buy it at work, because there are a bunch of fitness-minded people here who would help me devour it if I didn't like it. Alas, the store nearest me did not have it. I don't like artificially sweetened things, but when they're sweetened with sugar alcohols as opposed to aspartame I don't mind them as much, and if it's frozen it's even harder to taste the "fakeness" of it, so I thought I'd give it a go.
I'm going to see where else I can get it, and report back.
Yes please let us know! I'd definitely like to try it and see how it is too!
ETA: Haha whoops didn't see the post above this one, thanks!~0 -
Sounds like you're a naturally strong person, so you probably don't need it. I do. I'm quite the weakling. Well, physically anyway. Mentally, no. Mentally I'm known as the Boot Camp Drill Sargent in my family. Physically, well??? Let's just say that sometimes going in and out of the grocery store I step onto the automatic door thingy and the door doesn't open. Thankfully, I learned from "Toy Story" to jump up and down once or twice and the door opens. My son finds this highly amusing and will lag behind me just to watch it happen.
See and I can picture that and it's awesome. haha0 -
52cardpickup wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »I made my co-workers go with me to the Whole Foods down the street from my work on our lunch break to look for a specific kind of ice cream (Halo Top), which they didn't have, even though other Whole Foods' carry it. My co-workers were trying to be helpful in suggesting other kinds of ice cream, but totally missed the point of this specific ice cream in the first place, which made me unreasonably internally pouty and now I feel bad. (The ice cream I was looking for has 70 calories per serving, 7 grams of protein, 4 grams of carbs, and 3 grams of fat. Ben and Jerry's isn't going to cut it, no matter how delicious it is )
Also, they kind of think I'm a nut, now, for caring that much about a brand of ice cream.
I can completely relate to that, apart from the fact that I would have to be very comfortable with someone to drag them to a store for a specific treat, lol.
How is that ice cream, though? It kinda sounds too good to be true.
Everyone and their mother in another group I belong to (/r/xxfitness and the associated Facebook group) RAVES about it (specifically the Lemon Cake kind), so I thought it would be worthwhile to at least TRY it. I thought I'd buy it at work, because there are a bunch of fitness-minded people here who would help me devour it if I didn't like it. Alas, the store nearest me did not have it. I don't like artificially sweetened things, but when they're sweetened with sugar alcohols as opposed to aspartame I don't mind them as much, and if it's frozen it's even harder to taste the "fakeness" of it, so I thought I'd give it a go.
I'm going to see where else I can get it, and report back.
I am now on a quest...
Save yourself some time and potential embarrassment in front of co-workers! http://www.halotop.com/where-to-buy/ (I did not know this existed prior to my lunch time adventure... )
Kroger and WF, guessing Kroger is probably cheaper, but both about a half hour away. Now I have to figure out where the insulated shopping bag went. Probably in a closet full of hotwheels.
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berlynnwall wrote: »The stepdaughter did come by last night. She emptied the litter box and I assume fed/watered her cat. She was in the living room (with a friend she brought over without telling us) my husband and daughter. They were all chatting when I walked in. I said zero words to her, put away the groceries, and went to take a shower since I had just worked out.
Apparently, she told my husband and daughter that she was going to drop off her friend and come back. I don't feel I need to tell you this didn't happen.
My husband finally broke down last night and said "I don't know why she doesn't want to live with us." It was heartbreaking and I want to spank her for being such a little jerk to her dad.
Thank you for allowing me to vent incessantly about this on here. I really appreciate it.
How awful. That is really hurtful. Will he ask her why she is being this way, or is he more the type to just keep his feelings to himself? I feel like sometimes young adults and older teens don't realize how selfish they are being and a wake up call can help. I'm not sure if it would help in this situation though, but your husband may feel better if he at least tries to talk to her about what she is doing. That sucks.
He told me last night he was going to talk to her about how he feels. I really hope he does. I asked him why he's not upset that she's disrespecting him, and he said he is sad that she doesn't want to spend time with us. I think he's too sad to feel angry. He also told me that he's just happy he has any type of relationship with her even if it's not much of one.
The one thing that really set me off last night was he told me that she told them she's been sleeping on her mom's couch without cushions for the past 2+ weeks. This pissed me to the nth degree because she has her own bedroom with a queen size pillow top mattress at our house, yet she'd rather sleep on a cushionless couch.
Holy bed batman! I'd be there in a heartbeat, I didn't get my first "big girl bed" (aka anything besides a twin bed) until I was 24!! Totes jealous! Yes I said totes
I slept on the bottom bunk of a bunk bed until I was 20 when I got married and moved out. Then, I slept on a God awful futon for several months until I finally had enough and bought the queen. She's damn lucky and she just doesn't even appreciate it.
Ask her, point blank, why she's at your house. Make her put it into words, and if her answer doesn't match her actions, point that out to her and ask her why. If you or your husband just do the talking, it'll go in one ear and out the other. Require her to be active in the conversation.
I like that idea. Make her responsible and conscious of her behavior.
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52cardpickup wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »I made my co-workers go with me to the Whole Foods down the street from my work on our lunch break to look for a specific kind of ice cream (Halo Top), which they didn't have, even though other Whole Foods' carry it. My co-workers were trying to be helpful in suggesting other kinds of ice cream, but totally missed the point of this specific ice cream in the first place, which made me unreasonably internally pouty and now I feel bad. (The ice cream I was looking for has 70 calories per serving, 7 grams of protein, 4 grams of carbs, and 3 grams of fat. Ben and Jerry's isn't going to cut it, no matter how delicious it is )
Also, they kind of think I'm a nut, now, for caring that much about a brand of ice cream.
I can completely relate to that, apart from the fact that I would have to be very comfortable with someone to drag them to a store for a specific treat, lol.
How is that ice cream, though? It kinda sounds too good to be true.
Everyone and their mother in another group I belong to (/r/xxfitness and the associated Facebook group) RAVES about it (specifically the Lemon Cake kind), so I thought it would be worthwhile to at least TRY it. I thought I'd buy it at work, because there are a bunch of fitness-minded people here who would help me devour it if I didn't like it. Alas, the store nearest me did not have it. I don't like artificially sweetened things, but when they're sweetened with sugar alcohols as opposed to aspartame I don't mind them as much, and if it's frozen it's even harder to taste the "fakeness" of it, so I thought I'd give it a go.
I'm going to see where else I can get it, and report back.
I am now on a quest...
Save yourself some time and potential embarrassment in front of co-workers! http://www.halotop.com/where-to-buy/ (I did not know this existed prior to my lunch time adventure... )
Kroger and WF, guessing Kroger is probably cheaper, but both about a half hour away. Now I have to figure out where the insulated shopping bag went. Probably in a closet full of hotwheels.
APPARENTLY the closest place to me that sells it is over 6 miles from my work, and ain't nobody got time to go all the way there. So I will be filling out the "pretty please start carrying this" form and bringing it to a) the Whole Foods closest to my work, and b) the Whole Foods closest to my home, because neither carry it. In fact, no one even remotely close to me carries it. Apparently I am cursed.0 -
kellycasey5 wrote: »Today at the grocery store I opened the doors to the pastry case just to SMELL the donuts. That's right. I didn't even want one and knew it would give me a tummy ache and be a total waste of calories. But they were just sitting there looking so pretty with the sprinkles and the glazes and of course the peek of jelly on the sides of a few of them. So there I was, like a crazy person with the doors open just smelling the donuts. AND......IT WAS HEAVENLY. Think what you will, it was a great morning
I did that yesterday with a rack of donuts on my way out of the store. I got really close to the rack just so I could get a really good sniff of the donuts. I didn't want one, but I just wanted to appreciate their aroma. I totally get you.
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52cardpickup wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »I made my co-workers go with me to the Whole Foods down the street from my work on our lunch break to look for a specific kind of ice cream (Halo Top), which they didn't have, even though other Whole Foods' carry it. My co-workers were trying to be helpful in suggesting other kinds of ice cream, but totally missed the point of this specific ice cream in the first place, which made me unreasonably internally pouty and now I feel bad. (The ice cream I was looking for has 70 calories per serving, 7 grams of protein, 4 grams of carbs, and 3 grams of fat. Ben and Jerry's isn't going to cut it, no matter how delicious it is )
Also, they kind of think I'm a nut, now, for caring that much about a brand of ice cream.
I can completely relate to that, apart from the fact that I would have to be very comfortable with someone to drag them to a store for a specific treat, lol.
How is that ice cream, though? It kinda sounds too good to be true.
Everyone and their mother in another group I belong to (/r/xxfitness and the associated Facebook group) RAVES about it (specifically the Lemon Cake kind), so I thought it would be worthwhile to at least TRY it. I thought I'd buy it at work, because there are a bunch of fitness-minded people here who would help me devour it if I didn't like it. Alas, the store nearest me did not have it. I don't like artificially sweetened things, but when they're sweetened with sugar alcohols as opposed to aspartame I don't mind them as much, and if it's frozen it's even harder to taste the "fakeness" of it, so I thought I'd give it a go.
I'm going to see where else I can get it, and report back.
I am now on a quest...
Save yourself some time and potential embarrassment in front of co-workers! http://www.halotop.com/where-to-buy/ (I did not know this existed prior to my lunch time adventure... )
Kroger and WF, guessing Kroger is probably cheaper, but both about a half hour away. Now I have to figure out where the insulated shopping bag went. Probably in a closet full of hotwheels.
APPARENTLY the closest place to me that sells it is over 6 miles from my work, and ain't nobody got time to go all the way there. So I will be filling out the "pretty please start carrying this" form and bringing it to a) the Whole Foods closest to my work, and b) the Whole Foods closest to my home, because neither carry it. In fact, no one even remotely close to me carries it. Apparently I am cursed.
Soooooo....supposedly they carry this at the Wegmans that's a half mile from my house. The nearest Whole Foods (maybe 2 miles?) does NOT carry it, however.0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »The stepdaughter did come by last night. She emptied the litter box and I assume fed/watered her cat. She was in the living room (with a friend she brought over without telling us) my husband and daughter. They were all chatting when I walked in. I said zero words to her, put away the groceries, and went to take a shower since I had just worked out.
Apparently, she told my husband and daughter that she was going to drop off her friend and come back. I don't feel I need to tell you this didn't happen.
My husband finally broke down last night and said "I don't know why she doesn't want to live with us." It was heartbreaking and I want to spank her for being such a little jerk to her dad.
Thank you for allowing me to vent incessantly about this on here. I really appreciate it.
How awful. That is really hurtful. Will he ask her why she is being this way, or is he more the type to just keep his feelings to himself? I feel like sometimes young adults and older teens don't realize how selfish they are being and a wake up call can help. I'm not sure if it would help in this situation though, but your husband may feel better if he at least tries to talk to her about what she is doing. That sucks.
He told me last night he was going to talk to her about how he feels. I really hope he does. I asked him why he's not upset that she's disrespecting him, and he said he is sad that she doesn't want to spend time with us. I think he's too sad to feel angry. He also told me that he's just happy he has any type of relationship with her even if it's not much of one.
The one thing that really set me off last night was he told me that she told them she's been sleeping on her mom's couch without cushions for the past 2+ weeks. This pissed me to the nth degree because she has her own bedroom with a queen size pillow top mattress at our house, yet she'd rather sleep on a cushionless couch.
Holy bed batman! I'd be there in a heartbeat, I didn't get my first "big girl bed" (aka anything besides a twin bed) until I was 24!! Totes jealous! Yes I said totes
I slept on the bottom bunk of a bunk bed until I was 20 when I got married and moved out. Then, I slept on a God awful futon for several months until I finally had enough and bought the queen. She's damn lucky and she just doesn't even appreciate it.
Ask her, point blank, why she's at your house. Make her put it into words, and if her answer doesn't match her actions, point that out to her and ask her why. If you or your husband just do the talking, it'll go in one ear and out the other. Require her to be active in the conversation.The stepdaughter did come by last night. She emptied the litter box and I assume fed/watered her cat. She was in the living room (with a friend she brought over without telling us) my husband and daughter. They were all chatting when I walked in. I said zero words to her, put away the groceries, and went to take a shower since I had just worked out.
Apparently, she told my husband and daughter that she was going to drop off her friend and come back. I don't feel I need to tell you this didn't happen.
My husband finally broke down last night and said "I don't know why she doesn't want to live with us." It was heartbreaking and I want to spank her for being such a little jerk to her dad.
Thank you for allowing me to vent incessantly about this on here. I really appreciate it.
Depending on age (she is 18+, right?), she's probably exercising her own ability to be 'somewhat' independent without any ill intent towards you or her dad. New adults have a totally different mindset. And don't think I am sticking up for her.... but it's amazing the things I personally took for granted without ever once thinking about my moms feelings. Simple things, too. Like calling to check in or surprise visit, whatev. Even to this day I have to remind myself that my mom still has the same feelings for me now as I do for my own 9 year old daughter and eventually to some degree, I will most likely endure the same hardships and worry that my mom once had. Sticky situation with plenty of room for hurt/misunderstood feelings. GL
Yes, this exactly. I'm not defending her, either, but given her age and the circumstances, I don't think your husband should be taking it personally at ALL. At this age, all they really think about is themselves. They are pretty oblivious to the outside world and that what they say and do and don't do affects others. Clueless. Don't care. Self-absorbed. That's normal to a degree.
Flip side is this: having an adult child move in with you can sometimes turn into a long-term thing that no one is happy with. Getting boomerang kids OUT once they move back in can be tricky. At least she's not doing that.
My husband and I have been together for 15 years. His daughter still prefers spending time with her mom and that side of the family over us. Fine. We've learned to accept it. We have different lifestyles and as long as we get to see the grandkids regularly we all accept each others choices and preferences. I guess I'm saying that even after she matures and becomes independent she may not want to spend time with you then, either. Sure, it bothers my husband that his daughter is that way but we've learned that it's not a personal attack.
I'm cool with that, really I am, but I'm not going to be her storage unit or her cat's caretaker. If she doesn't want to be a part of our lives, fine, we've done just fine the last 15 years without her, but don't use us either and don't get my husband's hopes up of having a relationship that she has no intent on having.
You may have addressed this before, but have you guys considered family counseling, especially between your husband and the daughter? While I in no way agree with the way she is treating her dad and your family, there may be issues here that might be hard to address without some outside help, especially considering your husbands reluctance to confront the daughter. Maybe it would help?
No, and there's no way my husband would go. I'm hoping that once he actually sits her down and explains/asks what's going on, things will either get better or she'll take her stuff and cat and leave. I'm sorry to dump all my junk on all you wonderful people but I appreciate all your suggestions and comments.
Can we get back to digging food out of trash cans and husbands using our excess skin for a blanket. <--- That still makes me smile every time I think about it.
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52cardpickup wrote: »I made my co-workers go with me to the Whole Foods down the street from my work on our lunch break to look for a specific kind of ice cream (Halo Top), which they didn't have, even though other Whole Foods' carry it. My co-workers were trying to be helpful in suggesting other kinds of ice cream, but totally missed the point of this specific ice cream in the first place, which made me unreasonably internally pouty and now I feel bad. (The ice cream I was looking for has 70 calories per serving, 7 grams of protein, 4 grams of carbs, and 3 grams of fat. Ben and Jerry's isn't going to cut it, no matter how delicious it is )
Also, they kind of think I'm a nut, now, for caring that much about a brand of ice cream.
I will have to find this ice cream!
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Thirded. Also 'Up' (and yes, I did cry within the first 5 minutes!)xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »
Serious question here: What if you don't want that? I'm 47 - the only people who see me naked is my husband and my dog (she judges me - she recently lost 15% of her bodyweight and is smug about it). I live in a climate where I'm covered up a lot of the time. All I really want is to look ok in my clothes. I feel like MFP is often all about lifting weights, and I'm just not interested in doing that.52cardpickup wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Confession: I don’t know what my goal weight should be. I’m 5’9 and currently weigh 221. (That’s a big step since I’ve never admitted that to anyone!) I had the goal set at 200, but didn’t feel like that was low enough. It’s now set at 190, but now I don’t feel like that is low enough either. I weighed 180 the year before my son was born and felt awesome. I weighed 160 when I graduated from high school (and thought I was fat). I know I’ll probably find a weight where I feel comfortable and don’t have to kill myself in the gym every day. I understand all the numbers. Just not sure if I can get back to the 160s mainly because I don’t know if I have the dedication. Looking for some advice from some of you. That seems like a lot of numbers and rambling.
I'm 5'9" and currently 134. I was originally looking to get down to 135, but I'm now looking to pack on some weight again in the form of muscle. Not sure if I want to do that in the form of a bulk or a recomp. I'd be happy to send you some progress photos, if that would help you.
My biggest regret is not weight training more consistently in my weight loss, if I'm being honest.
Eventually, once goals are close to being met or have already passed, this is what it will come down to. If you want to be skinny as a rail, fine. Diet and cardio all day, every day. But unless you are naturally blessed, if you want a fitness magazine cover body, you HAVE to do some strength training.
I agree with all of this. I feel like there's a lot of pressure from a lot of people to jump on the weight lifting bandwagon for aesthetic reasons, and a lot of people throw out "LIFT HEAVY" as the be all and end all of exercise without considering other people's interest/disinterest/goals/physical limitations/aspirations/time/what have you.
This morning there was a thread started by a person who was depressed because they weighed in at 501 pounds, and one of the first suggestions was that they start squatting and deadlifting. Seriously? SMDH. I get the feeling that people don't read the original post, they just respond with an automatic blurb.
On the other hand, weight lifting (OR resistance training, and THAT IS THE KEY!) is great for reasons aside from aesthetics... it strengthens bones and bone density, aids in living independently into old age, etc. It doesn't mean that you have to squat 300 lbs and bench press 1000, or look like Arnold, or stand in front of the mirror kissing your muscles and taking selfies. I just believe that an exercise routine should be balanced like an "eating routine" (don'twanttosaydiet) should be balanced.
sorry if this came across as judge-y *hangs head in shame and slinks off*
THIS (bold) is why I took up lifting.
And because it's easy. "Easy" in that it doesn't require grace or coordination or skill or athletic ability, all of which I lack. Just a basic awareness of your own body mechanics and the willingness to press on, even on those days when it feels like you've been run over by a truck (lorry for you Brits) and then thrown down a flight of stairs. At least that was my experience anyway... yoga bores me to tears, I can't do aerobics or zumba to save my life, never played sports, but I can pick up a barbell repeatedly. Hey, whaddya know, I'm good at something.
This weekend I walked around a garden center with a big spirea, two rhododendrons and a rose bush in my arms (it was a feat of balance as much as strength). Carried them to my car and put them in the trunk. I want to be able to do that 20 years from now, not be the frail little old lady waiting for the nice young man to help with the carryout.
Aesthetically, I've discovered that I like seeing muscles. Visible proof of all the work I've done. It keeps me motivated. I'm one of the ones who looked pretty good in clothes, but I wasn't too happy with the naked body that menopause has given me. I'm also learning my limitations -- there are some saggy bits that no amount of weightlifting is going to change.
I've seen it posted around these parts before but the key to "fitness" is to find an activity that you love and are going to stick with -- which isn't necessarily going to be the activity that someone else loves.
You, I like. You can stay in this thread
I try Yoga. I love the stretching part but I can't get my Downward Dog to bend at all and I end up doing what I like to call the Flopping Fish instead. I like Zumba but I kina look like a deranged zebra. Walking fast and lifting weights is what I like more. I can do it, I don't need to be coordinated, it feels good to make my body move.
Lol. Good thing, I'm addicted to this thread and you wouldn't get rid of me anyway
Even having to catch up on 230 new posts at the end of the day yesterday didn't deter me.
I walk too. But if I look at the scenery too much or don't pay attention to where I'm putting my feet, I've been known to lurch and stumble. I'm THAT uncoordinated.
I think I've read all the posts but haven't been able to reply... welcome back @ShibaEars... congrats to all who have lost weight or reached goal... @Italian_Buju loving the pics of Little Rodent Boy's sweet little furry face (I've had to backtrack to see them, they don't show at work).
Not having kids, I've never seen Frozen or Finding Nemo or SpongeBob or any of those. I can probably identify the characters, however, solely from seeing the merchandise prominently displayed in stores.
I highly suggest you watch this! If no other "kid's" movie ever, watch Finding Nemo.
YASSS! Agree love, love, love this movie!
Ooooh, yeah, Up is a great one! I also bawled like an infant in the first 5 minutes.
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Thirded. Also 'Up' (and yes, I did cry within the first 5 minutes!)xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »
Serious question here: What if you don't want that? I'm 47 - the only people who see me naked is my husband and my dog (she judges me - she recently lost 15% of her bodyweight and is smug about it). I live in a climate where I'm covered up a lot of the time. All I really want is to look ok in my clothes. I feel like MFP is often all about lifting weights, and I'm just not interested in doing that.52cardpickup wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Confession: I don’t know what my goal weight should be. I’m 5’9 and currently weigh 221. (That’s a big step since I’ve never admitted that to anyone!) I had the goal set at 200, but didn’t feel like that was low enough. It’s now set at 190, but now I don’t feel like that is low enough either. I weighed 180 the year before my son was born and felt awesome. I weighed 160 when I graduated from high school (and thought I was fat). I know I’ll probably find a weight where I feel comfortable and don’t have to kill myself in the gym every day. I understand all the numbers. Just not sure if I can get back to the 160s mainly because I don’t know if I have the dedication. Looking for some advice from some of you. That seems like a lot of numbers and rambling.
I'm 5'9" and currently 134. I was originally looking to get down to 135, but I'm now looking to pack on some weight again in the form of muscle. Not sure if I want to do that in the form of a bulk or a recomp. I'd be happy to send you some progress photos, if that would help you.
My biggest regret is not weight training more consistently in my weight loss, if I'm being honest.
Eventually, once goals are close to being met or have already passed, this is what it will come down to. If you want to be skinny as a rail, fine. Diet and cardio all day, every day. But unless you are naturally blessed, if you want a fitness magazine cover body, you HAVE to do some strength training.
I agree with all of this. I feel like there's a lot of pressure from a lot of people to jump on the weight lifting bandwagon for aesthetic reasons, and a lot of people throw out "LIFT HEAVY" as the be all and end all of exercise without considering other people's interest/disinterest/goals/physical limitations/aspirations/time/what have you.
This morning there was a thread started by a person who was depressed because they weighed in at 501 pounds, and one of the first suggestions was that they start squatting and deadlifting. Seriously? SMDH. I get the feeling that people don't read the original post, they just respond with an automatic blurb.
On the other hand, weight lifting (OR resistance training, and THAT IS THE KEY!) is great for reasons aside from aesthetics... it strengthens bones and bone density, aids in living independently into old age, etc. It doesn't mean that you have to squat 300 lbs and bench press 1000, or look like Arnold, or stand in front of the mirror kissing your muscles and taking selfies. I just believe that an exercise routine should be balanced like an "eating routine" (don'twanttosaydiet) should be balanced.
sorry if this came across as judge-y *hangs head in shame and slinks off*
THIS (bold) is why I took up lifting.
And because it's easy. "Easy" in that it doesn't require grace or coordination or skill or athletic ability, all of which I lack. Just a basic awareness of your own body mechanics and the willingness to press on, even on those days when it feels like you've been run over by a truck (lorry for you Brits) and then thrown down a flight of stairs. At least that was my experience anyway... yoga bores me to tears, I can't do aerobics or zumba to save my life, never played sports, but I can pick up a barbell repeatedly. Hey, whaddya know, I'm good at something.
This weekend I walked around a garden center with a big spirea, two rhododendrons and a rose bush in my arms (it was a feat of balance as much as strength). Carried them to my car and put them in the trunk. I want to be able to do that 20 years from now, not be the frail little old lady waiting for the nice young man to help with the carryout.
Aesthetically, I've discovered that I like seeing muscles. Visible proof of all the work I've done. It keeps me motivated. I'm one of the ones who looked pretty good in clothes, but I wasn't too happy with the naked body that menopause has given me. I'm also learning my limitations -- there are some saggy bits that no amount of weightlifting is going to change.
I've seen it posted around these parts before but the key to "fitness" is to find an activity that you love and are going to stick with -- which isn't necessarily going to be the activity that someone else loves.
You, I like. You can stay in this thread
I try Yoga. I love the stretching part but I can't get my Downward Dog to bend at all and I end up doing what I like to call the Flopping Fish instead. I like Zumba but I kina look like a deranged zebra. Walking fast and lifting weights is what I like more. I can do it, I don't need to be coordinated, it feels good to make my body move.
Lol. Good thing, I'm addicted to this thread and you wouldn't get rid of me anyway Even having to catch up on 230 new posts at the end of the day yesterday didn't deter me.
I walk too. But if I look at the scenery too much or don't pay attention to where I'm putting my feet, I've been known to lurch and stumble. I'm THAT uncoordinated.
I think I've read all the posts but haven't been able to reply... welcome back @ShibaEars... congrats to all who have lost weight or reached goal... @Italian_Buju loving the pics of Little Rodent Boy's sweet little furry face (I've had to backtrack to see them, they don't show at work).
Not having kids, I've never seen Frozen or Finding Nemo or SpongeBob or any of those. I can probably identify the characters, however, solely from seeing the merchandise prominently displayed in stores.
I highly suggest you watch this! If no other "kid's" movie ever, watch Finding Nemo.
YASSS! Agree love, love, love this movie!
Ooooh, yeah, Up is a great one! I also bawled like an infant in the first 5 minutes.
I cry every. damned. time. It doesn't matter how many times I see it. Every. time. My son just likes the scenes with the balloons.
ETA: Just at the beginning, to be clear. I only cry at the beginning. And maybe at the end, a little bit.0 -
Sounds like you're a naturally strong person, so you probably don't need it. I do. I'm quite the weakling. Well, physically anyway. Mentally, no. Mentally I'm known as the Boot Camp Drill Sargent in my family. Physically, well??? Let's just say that sometimes going in and out of the grocery store I step onto the automatic door thingy and the door doesn't open. Thankfully, I learned from "Toy Story" to jump up and down once or twice and the door opens. My son finds this highly amusing and will lag behind me just to watch it happen.
See and I can picture that and it's awesome. haha
Awesomely embarrassing, yes!0 -
Boy you guys have been chatty! Finally caught up from Friday afternoon. Today I found out that I don't know my limits when it comes to running, I found this out the hard way. I am entirely to sore and tired right now.0
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I would hire someone to do my laundry. I hate doing laundry. I FULLY REALIZE it just involves sticking a bunch of clothes into a stupid machine, and then sticking them into another stupid machine. Doesn't matter. Still hate doing laundry.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »Last time I stayed at a hotel, I took some of the little cups of peanut butter from the continental breakfast. I'm eating one now, with a spoon, as a snack.
Thief! Just kidding. That is a fabulous idea! I buy the little pre portioned cups of hummus so I don't have to weigh it out. It's WAY more expensive, but my time is precious and I don't want to spend it weighing out a really sad amount of hummus.
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