Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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Ok, so what would you all think about your husband/boyfriend/SO sexting coworkers.
I'm stuggling with my feelings right now.
Instant and automatic dealbreaker, in my book. That sort of behaviour falls under my definition of "cheating" and, cynic that I am, I view it as a sort of prelude to actual physical cheating.
I have issues with trust in that once it's been damaged, it would be so much work for me to rebuild that it's not worth the effort. Buh-bye.
Me too. About three years ago I was engaged, 10 months into the engagement found out he'd cheated- he apologized, he was sorry, biggest mistake..blah blah blah. It was a shock and it took me about 3 months to get my head on straight and realize he's a schmuck who can't keep it in his pants. Sorry if this is offensive to anyone.
Hugs to you @froggybug- only you know what is best for you and your personal relationship.
I'm sorry that happened to you but I'm glad you now know that's on him, not you... a person of honour and integrity does not cheat.
My last ex, I kinda knew the writing was on the wall when we had a sort of philosophical discussion about cheating in general and he voiced the opinion that "it's not all black and white, there are grey areas" and that sometimes cheating is "justified". So in the back of my mind the thought formed that maybe, someday, he'd feel "justified" in cheating on me.
I take the view that, in many cases of cheating, the opportunity presents first and THEN the justification is manufactured to support the desire. But I'm black and white like that.
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Italian_Buju wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »overlook237 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »My confession for today:
I really, really, really, really, really love bread. That is all.
It's always at the top of my list, right up there with cheese!
My favorite is a crusty French bread or Italian ciabatta, both with butter. I could seriously eat an entire loaf which is why I basically save it as a treat and stick with reasonable amounts of light rye or multigrain thins for sandwiches. Mmm....bread....*drool*So I had been craving a chocolate chip cookie, right? So I couldn't take it anymore and went to the store and bought a package of Pepperidge Farm cookies, which I haven't dared doing for 2.5 years...
Now I remember why. I did stop at 3, I guess, which is better than the whole bag. Still going to end up over today... but I'm glad I got my cravings out of the way (but yeah, a chocolate almond croissant and 3 cookies in one day wasn't the best choice, I'll give you that).
At least if I manage to stick to my goal tomorrow I'll be at maintenance for the week at least.
My weakness are their white chocolate macadamia cookies. Yeah, I could definitely eat an entire bag no problem.
I'm quite sure I've eaten a whole bag or two of those in the past.
And bread? Yeah, it always does me in at restaurants. Just love a good French or Italian bread, and don't get me started on that brown bread at the Cheesecake Factory... or the Texas Roadhouse rolls.
Oh man. Italian bread is my jam. I can eat a whole loaf with butter and garlic if I let myself. Good thing my kids like it too and attack it before I can eat it all.
As I have mentioned before, my daughter was adopted at age 10. So obviously she was raised in a different household before that.
Growing up, BREAD to me was what people call Italian bread. To me, that was the only bread we ever had....it always came from a bakery, usually unsliced....bought about every other day.
When my daughter first came to live with me, after some time, she asked why we never have normal bread in the house. I didn't really know what she meant but after some back and forth she said, "you know, like regular white people bread."
I never really ate that wonder bread type stuff, I find it kinda gross most of the time, although now, I can handle it for certain things. When ever my kids want that type of stuff, they literally ask me to pick up a loaf of white people bread!
What! Do you use it for sandwiches and breakfast toast too? Oh man, maybe you shouldn't tell me. I use it as a side with dinners. I buy it at least once a week. "White people bread" cracked me up. That is hilarious.
YES!! I would NEVER eat a sandwich on white people bread, or eat it as breakfast toast *gags*. LOL
And REAL BREAD makes the BEST grilled cheese (with real cheddar, shredded!)....and amazing french toast....
ETA: I think a lot of people crack up when they first hear it....esp if I say it out of habit and then have to explain what it is, lol
That seals it. I'm going to be fat forever lol. In all seriousness I cannot wait to try that. I just love that bread so much *sob*.
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Oh my freaking goodness. I have taken 2 different kinds of allergy medicine*, and used the allergy Visine drops, and my eyes are still bloodshot and so so itchy. If this hadn't happened several summers in the past, I would seriously think I had pink eye. Dying. Anybody have any tricks/ home remedies? I sat with ice on my face most of last evening.
*Singulair and Allegra0 -
smashley_mashley wrote: »
When I saw Frozen in the theater with my kids, I was having some serious issues with my sister (still am if I'm being honest, very similar to orangesmartie's family situation) and during the song "do you want to build a snowman" I started crying! I am not normally a crier, and I was mortified, but it felt like it took me so long to get it under control, only to start back up again during Let it Go. I felt like such a sap. (no offense to people who do cry easily - I don't think you're saps. It was just so foreign to me to lose control for a ridic reason).
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Ok, so what would you all think about your husband/boyfriend/SO sexting coworkers.
I'm stuggling with my feelings right now.
Instant and automatic dealbreaker, in my book. That sort of behaviour falls under my definition of "cheating" and, cynic that I am, I view it as a sort of prelude to actual physical cheating.
I have issues with trust in that once it's been damaged, it would be so much work for me to rebuild that it's not worth the effort. Buh-bye.
Me too. About three years ago I was engaged, 10 months into the engagement found out he'd cheated- he apologized, he was sorry, biggest mistake..blah blah blah. It was a shock and it took me about 3 months to get my head on straight and realize he's a schmuck who can't keep it in his pants. Sorry if this is offensive to anyone.
Hugs to you @froggybug- only you know what is best for you and your personal relationship.
I'm sorry that happened to you but I'm glad you now know that's on him, not you... a person of honour and integrity does not cheat.
My last ex, I kinda knew the writing was on the wall when we had a sort of philosophical discussion about cheating in general and he voiced the opinion that "it's not all black and white, there are grey areas" and that sometimes cheating is "justified". So in the back of my mind the thought formed that maybe, someday, he'd feel "justified" in cheating on me.
I take the view that, in many cases of cheating, the opportunity presents first and THEN the justification is manufactured to support the desire. But I'm black and white like that.
I agree too, I'm of the sort where any shape or form of cheating is completely unacceptable, to me there are no grey areas. And really there were many red flags looking back on our relationship before we even got engaged which I blame myself for not getting out then buuuuut I was in 'love' haha., god hind-sight really is 20/20! Looking back I can laugh but then it was very hurtful and one of the worst times in my life. I wouldn't wish that pain on my worst enemy (mind you I have no enemies I'm aware of but you get the gist) 0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »I just wanted to share a couple more photos of my little rodent boy
He loved to snuggle with me at night!
Oh gosh, how cute. What a little love.
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quiksylver296 wrote: »heartsstarspll wrote: »Confession: I just saw that I have 2 flags for alleged "spam". How did I spam you ask? Apparently replying to a thread about some city banning soda's in happy meals and saying it's none of their business what parents give their kids is spam.
I swear, it is laughable the things that get flagged around here. I can't believe how abused the system is. I have been tempted to flag posts I didn't agree with... but I realize it's dumb to flag something just because I disagree.
Confession: I am a little sad that I got flagged.
It makes me feel like running away and never posting again. But reading and posting here feels like it will help me stay on track, so I guess it's a trade off. So I guess I will continue even though apparently someone out there doesn't like me (at least 2 people.. lol)
The first time I got flagged, I was super excited! It was like I had reached a new level in the "game" or something. (I get excited about weird things
)
Same here! Besides, @heartsstarspll, sometimes posts get flagged, but either people think it's a "like" button or it's an accident since the flag is so close to the quote option.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »
Thanks for the replies guys. This is why my heart is broken and I've been so (BEYOND) depressed lately. I haven't talked to him since last Sunday. I have cried every day.
I did the bad thing and checked on his phone because he's been so secretive (I was able to guess the password). I saw a lot of things that I never wanted to see.
I love him so I'm struggling with my feelings right now. I know most people can't change but maybe therapy? I don't know. I am in that strange place where I don't want to be without him but I don't want to be with him if he can't change.
Sorry to complain. I feel like it's cheating too since it's a violation of trust and he is being inappropriate. We are going to meet up Friday to talk. This is the guy I've been with for almost 11 years.0 -
52cardpickup wrote: »xMrBunglex wrote: »
This. Oh dear lord so much of this.
And the word that appeared when I quoted this is so much better than the word I imagined when it was ***'d out.
I guessed testes. Close, but not quite.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »Even though everyone else in my household bailed, I went to the gym by myself! NSV!
Of course I'm behind, but way to go!0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »Oh my freaking goodness. I have taken 2 different kinds of allergy medicine*, and used the allergy Visine drops, and my eyes are still bloodshot and so so itchy. If this hadn't happened several summers in the past, I would seriously think I had pink eye. Dying. Anybody have any tricks/ home remedies? I sat with ice on my face most of last evening.
*Singulair and Allegra
Stay inside as much as possible. Use A/C (filters air a bit), shower before bed to make sure you don't have pollen stuck in your hair/around you all night. Minimize exposure to all known triggers (hayfever type and food type). Coffee helps me a bit, avoid sugar if you can. I know what you are going through and it is no fun.
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I made it back from my holiday I am trying to read some/most of the old posts, but I don't know if I'll be able to get through them all (there were over 2000 new ones!). I had a great time in AZ, went to check out the Desert Museum just outside of Tucson (thanks for the suggestion!). Ate some foods I can't get here, and thought I broke a couple toes (but now I think they're just very bruised.)
Confession: I puked my guts out landing in Phoenix and again landing back in Edmonton. One of my first thoughts after each time was "I don't have to count those calories, right?"
I'm so glad that you enjoyed the Arizona Sonora Desert Museum.
Were you motion sick or something else? I hope you feel all better.
Ya, it's motion sickness and the landings just kill me. They were rougher landings too, according to the others I was flying with.
I kind of wish they didn't call it a "Museum". It's really more of a zoo/botanical garden. Only 1 other person in my group of 8 was interested, and I'm sure the others heard "museum" and thought it would be really boring. Oh well, their loss I suppose 0 -
I made a thread in the group for pet pics, loving them all so much!0
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quiksylver296 wrote: »
Thanks for the replies guys. This is why my heart is broken and I've been so (BEYOND) depressed lately. I haven't talked to him since last Sunday. I have cried every day.
I did the bad thing and checked on his phone because he's been so secretive (I was able to guess the password). I saw a lot of things that I never wanted to see.
I love him so I'm struggling with my feelings right now. I know most people can't change but maybe therapy? I don't know. I am in that strange place where I don't want to be without him but I don't want to be with him if he can't change.
Sorry to complain. I feel like it's cheating too since it's a violation of trust and he is being inappropriate. We are going to meet up Friday to talk. This is the guy I've been with for almost 11 years.
I'm so sorry this happened to you, you have every right to complain! I guess you just have to do what you can live with. I can't say what feels 'right' because sometimes the best thing for us still doesn't feel 'right'. Some people have to go their own way, some people work it out, but it's really up to you. I know what I'd do, but that's not to say my way is 'right', it's just what I can live with. Maybe I'm not much help, but I wanted you to know there's no incorrect way to feel right now.
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quiksylver296 wrote: »
Thanks for the replies guys. This is why my heart is broken and I've been so (BEYOND) depressed lately. I haven't talked to him since last Sunday. I have cried every day.
I did the bad thing and checked on his phone because he's been so secretive (I was able to guess the password). I saw a lot of things that I never wanted to see.
I love him so I'm struggling with my feelings right now. I know most people can't change but maybe therapy? I don't know. I am in that strange place where I don't want to be without him but I don't want to be with him if he can't change.
Sorry to complain. I feel like it's cheating too since it's a violation of trust and he is being inappropriate. We are going to meet up Friday to talk. This is the guy I've been with for almost 11 years.
I'm so sorry...I know it's horrible right now. Hugs.
Sometimes really good people, do really, really stupid things. If you think he is the kind of man who would let this continue, and this isn't just a one-time situation, then end it. If you think it was stupid behavior from an otherwise good man, and he acknowledges the stupidity and you can tell it's heartfelt and sincere...and YOU can forgive him, move on, both learn from it, establish new boundries, etc...than do so. I will caution you that it will take time, MONTHS, to deal with, you will have trust issues even more now...but if you can both do the right things, it can be better. In fact...it can be amazing.
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fenderman9 wrote: »girlviernes wrote: »
My other confession is that occasionally I've had extra cals after midnight and logged them for the next day.
Thats a really good Idea! I'm going to stop reading this now before I get any more "good" ideas.
Oh, but we have so many "good" ideas in this thread! You should totally keep reading. 0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »
Thanks for the replies guys. This is why my heart is broken and I've been so (BEYOND) depressed lately. I haven't talked to him since last Sunday. I have cried every day.
I did the bad thing and checked on his phone because he's been so secretive (I was able to guess the password). I saw a lot of things that I never wanted to see.
I love him so I'm struggling with my feelings right now. I know most people can't change but maybe therapy? I don't know. I am in that strange place where I don't want to be without him but I don't want to be with him if he can't change.
Sorry to complain. I feel like it's cheating too since it's a violation of trust and he is being inappropriate. We are going to meet up Friday to talk. This is the guy I've been with for almost 11 years.
I am so sorry you are going through this. Been in your shoes. My ex was texting his ex all the time when were together behind my back including the night our son was born. I put up with it for 2 more long painful years til I finally had enough. In the mean time it destroyed my self esteem and self confidence. I also gained 40lbs in the process. Happy to say that even though it was a tough decision nearly 2 and a half years later life has never been better. You will prevail!!0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »
Thanks for the replies guys. This is why my heart is broken and I've been so (BEYOND) depressed lately. I haven't talked to him since last Sunday. I have cried every day.
I did the bad thing and checked on his phone because he's been so secretive (I was able to guess the password). I saw a lot of things that I never wanted to see.
I love him so I'm struggling with my feelings right now. I know most people can't change but maybe therapy? I don't know. I am in that strange place where I don't want to be without him but I don't want to be with him if he can't change.
Sorry to complain. I feel like it's cheating too since it's a violation of trust and he is being inappropriate. We are going to meet up Friday to talk. This is the guy I've been with for almost 11 years.
It really is cheating. People only change if they really want to change. Listen closely when you talk to him. If he is not completely consumed with guilt and begging to change then cut him free. Even with counseling he has got a lot to prove over a long time. Going through a breakup is super hard. I cried every day for a year after my divorce of my choosing. But I got through the feelings and processed it and I am so much happier than I have been in many years. I was in a 16 year marriage that I "tried to save" for more than seven years. My vote (that should not matter at all to you) is to dump him, grieve the loss of the relationship and when you are ready to find a partner who is able to give you what you need and want in a relationship. (HUGS) I am so sorry you are having to go through this.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »
Thanks for the replies guys. This is why my heart is broken and I've been so (BEYOND) depressed lately. I haven't talked to him since last Sunday. I have cried every day.
I did the bad thing and checked on his phone because he's been so secretive (I was able to guess the password). I saw a lot of things that I never wanted to see.
I love him so I'm struggling with my feelings right now. I know most people can't change but maybe therapy? I don't know. I am in that strange place where I don't want to be without him but I don't want to be with him if he can't change.
Sorry to complain. I feel like it's cheating too since it's a violation of trust and he is being inappropriate. We are going to meet up Friday to talk. This is the guy I've been with for almost 11 years.
Do not apologize! I remember a while back you said you were really struggling with something. I was wondering what it was and I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Eleven years is a long time. Do not rush to make any decisions.
Also, don't feel badly for checking his phone in this case. You know him. You trusted your gut. You needed to know. I don't blame you at all. It's incredibly painful, but it's best you found out with immediate proof rather than suspecting, not knowing, him not telling you, etc. That would be life in limbo and that's not any better.
Please keep venting here. I'm glad one poster offered her point of view after going through it and making it work. I'm not advocating either way at this point other than slow down, process everything, get the facts and do not let him pressure you into making any kind of a choice right now.0 -
smashley_mashley wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »
Serious question here: What if you don't want that? I'm 47 - the only people who see me naked is my husband and my dog (she judges me - she recently lost 15% of her bodyweight and is smug about it). I live in a climate where I'm covered up a lot of the time. All I really want is to look ok in my clothes. I feel like MFP is often all about lifting weights, and I'm just not interested in doing that.52cardpickup wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Confession: I don’t know what my goal weight should be. I’m 5’9 and currently weigh 221. (That’s a big step since I’ve never admitted that to anyone!) I had the goal set at 200, but didn’t feel like that was low enough. It’s now set at 190, but now I don’t feel like that is low enough either. I weighed 180 the year before my son was born and felt awesome. I weighed 160 when I graduated from high school (and thought I was fat). I know I’ll probably find a weight where I feel comfortable and don’t have to kill myself in the gym every day. I understand all the numbers. Just not sure if I can get back to the 160s mainly because I don’t know if I have the dedication. Looking for some advice from some of you. That seems like a lot of numbers and rambling.
I'm 5'9" and currently 134. I was originally looking to get down to 135, but I'm now looking to pack on some weight again in the form of muscle. Not sure if I want to do that in the form of a bulk or a recomp. I'd be happy to send you some progress photos, if that would help you.
My biggest regret is not weight training more consistently in my weight loss, if I'm being honest.
Eventually, once goals are close to being met or have already passed, this is what it will come down to. If you want to be skinny as a rail, fine. Diet and cardio all day, every day. But unless you are naturally blessed, if you want a fitness magazine cover body, you HAVE to do some strength training.
I agree with all of this. I feel like there's a lot of pressure from a lot of people to jump on the weight lifting bandwagon for aesthetic reasons, and a lot of people throw out "LIFT HEAVY" as the be all and end all of exercise without considering other people's interest/disinterest/goals/physical limitations/aspirations/time/what have you.
This morning there was a thread started by a person who was depressed because they weighed in at 501 pounds, and one of the first suggestions was that they start squatting and deadlifting. Seriously? SMDH. I get the feeling that people don't read the original post, they just respond with an automatic blurb.
On the other hand, weight lifting (OR resistance training, and THAT IS THE KEY!) is great for reasons aside from aesthetics... it strengthens bones and bone density, aids in living independently into old age, etc. It doesn't mean that you have to squat 300 lbs and bench press 1000, or look like Arnold, or stand in front of the mirror kissing your muscles and taking selfies. I just believe that an exercise routine should be balanced like an "eating routine" (don'twanttosaydiet) should be balanced.
sorry if this came across as judge-y *hangs head in shame and slinks off*
I bolded both because I agree with both. I think there is a lot of emphasis on heavy lifting and I have browsed the 5x5 ( looks kind of scary). My goal isn't to be magazine cover fit, I am fine with being "average" with some squish as long as I can fit into regular sized clothes.
But I am also in @52cardpickup's camp because since I have been doing strength training, I love being able to help carry appliances in the house or lift the couch whereas before I struggled.
I'm doing it mainly for aesthetic reasons
(I'm vain don't judge me!)
And so I can carry my now 50 lb immobile son around (he normally weighs 30 lbs and can walk on his own - thanks, cast!). I have a giant bruise on my hip from his cast! It's very nice to be able to lift and haul and do all sorts of things on my own, though.0
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