Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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Hopping in the thread from almost a week ago. Said I have 2.2k NEW. Hahaha. Time to start fresh on page 916, I guess.
I'm not quite that far behind, but there's no way I'm going to be able to go back and catch up. Just jumping in on this page as well.
Did anything fun or momentous happen on page 900?!
Well, I peeked back and it looks like @pofoster21 and @nonoelmo owned that page. We also got to see @nonoelmo's cute dogs.
Edited because words are hard.0 -
pearso21123 wrote: »I read a little about anti-depressants, and they scare me. It says they can cause suicidal thoughts in teens with depression. How is that going to help? I'm not ruling them out, but they definitely aren't a first-resort measure.
Meds may work for a lot of people but I'm glad you are being careful. I can't take anything because every single one I tried had bad side effects (including the one you mentioned above). If you do try any medication, tell your daughter to be honest with you about any side effects she has so you know if it is doing more harm than good.
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Hi I put this on a post & got crucified. I was just feeling bad.
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Thank You God I am saved by your Grace, I appreciate that a lot.
I don't know if there is a post already like this. If there is I am sorry for creating another one, I did not find it.
I don't want to put it on my news feed, & derail anyone.
But I have to get it of my chest, to feel lighter.
Today is cold, as you know God, and I went to the shop & could not resist buying this packet of chips/chipniks, which is 558 calories over, putting me in the red. I am sorry, but I also wanted to eat it. I was stressed when I sat in the car, had a happy moment with the suns rays streaming through the clouds, & Happy was playing on the radio. I should have sat with just that, but I had to push the pleasure & opened that book, at that page it talked about dying today, & have I done everything I was supposed to do!! that was awful.
Thank you for my chips., love it, but also know its wrong, because its part of the problem of wrong choices that derailed me. Feeling bad but still eating it!!
"
but
The aim was not religion, sorry about that guys. It was about feeling bad. and I did not know what to do about it. I needed to talk about it but did not know who to tell. ( did not want to derail anybody, hoped somebody who is stronger now and been though those feelings, knows what it feels like, would drop a note about how to deal with it.) It is feeling bad that got me down, into the obese zone.
Thanks for the advice to bring it here instead. I found the big ( no pun intended) part of becoming obese in the first place was those feelings of feeling bad, guilty, yet still doing the bad behavior , like a smoker trying to quit.
I'm glad you found your way here! We don't judge. And just remember, one bad choice doesn't mean you've failed, and food isn't good or bad. Just get back on the horse and keep trying!
^ says the Queen of the All or Nothing mentality. I try, though!0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »@Tubbs216 I can very much relate to the anemia / heavy period issue. At one point I had lost so much blood I passed out and the doctors put me on steriods and wanted to give me a transfusion. (I was 17 years old). It took awhile to build up the iron so I was ok. I also (seperately and years later) have been a different type of anemic realating to B-12 where I had Vitamin B shots monthly for awhile. So please stay on top of it with her and ugh, I'm sorry she's dealing with it. It can drain so much energy from a person.
I can attest to how draining it can be too.....while it never affects my mood, I can see how it can....I sometimes sleep for 12 hours and will STILL feel tired a few hours later. I have had anemia for about 6 years now....and at one point it was so bad they said they wanted to give me two bags of blood and that still would not put me up to par. I cannot take blood because of my OCD, so it took a LONG time to be ok again.....I would have to spend almost all my time off work sleeping or I would get dizzy and not be able to hold my head up straight.
Now they have found out that I am not producing enough red blood cells....so I am waiting to see a blood specialist....finally this fall (made the appt in Jan!!). But they are guessing it is chronic disease anemia caused by long term type one diabetes (of course, it causes a million problems!).
On a funny related note.....I take depo shots so I do not have any bleeding at all because of it....and every time I get it, every eight weeks, my DR will ask if I have had any bleeding as they will move the shots closer and closer together as that happens. Every time, she always ends that part of the conversation with "ok, just try not to lose any blood".
Finally the last time I got my shot, I replied and said "Can we just assume that I am never TRYING to lose blood, any blood I am losing is always by accident...ok?"
Yeah, she's always exhausted. Thankfully she got an office job for the summer, because she was planning on being a waitress to earn more money, but I honestly don't think she would have had the energy for that. As it is she quite often comes home from work and goes straight to bed. She needs another blood test in a month, and we're hoping for some improvement. Not sure what to do if there isn't any.
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FluffySandwich wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »That's a good way to put it- it felt like I was being treated as though I had committed a crime. Everyone would say ''So what are YOU in for?'' and I would say ''I don't know.'' Then they'd call me a liar. I did talk to a girl who claimed to have brought down a plane by screaming and punching people. I can understand why you panicked and I'm sorry I'm sure not all hospitals are like that one, and a good therapist can go a long way. I hope you're feeling better now, you deserve to be feeling your very best
I've had a similar experience (was only there for about three days though). But (please don't think bad of me) I saw all the different kinds of people there and I was just thinking to myself, I'm not as crazy as these people, why am I here?
EDIT: @Susieq_1994 You are such a talented writer!!! Thanks for sharing your work, I love it! It's inspiring too because I also love to write.
Thank you so much! Wattpad is a nice place to join if you like to write.0 -
@Susieq_1994 –For some reason it wouldn’t let me quote your post but I wanted to say that was a beautiful/sad poem. Your writing really connects with me.
I'm working at the front desk while my knee heals and there was a flower delivery for someone. I got really excited when she said my name for a minute thinking maybe it was for me (yay someone was thinking of me...). They were for the one other person in the company that has the same first name as me.
Thank you very much. I thought of you when I posted it!
That must have been so disappointing.0 -
kellienw335 wrote: »Hopping in the thread from almost a week ago. Said I have 2.2k NEW. Hahaha. Time to start fresh on page 916, I guess.
I'm not quite that far behind, but there's no way I'm going to be able to go back and catch up. Just jumping in on this page as well.
Did anything fun or momentous happen on page 900?!
Well, I peaked back and it looks like @pofoster21 and @nonoelmo owned that page. We also got to see @nonoelmo's cute dogs.
Thank you for the info! Sorry I missed the doggie pics, though.0 -
Confession: I am being such a scaredy cat and I hate it! I started going to a gym last week with the intention of beginning strength training. I downloaded the stronglifts app and have watched the videos a billion times to get the form right. Every time I go in there and approach the weights, I see all those guys in that area doing their thing. I then turn around and go where all the women are and do the elliptical for 45 min. then go home. What is wrong with me? I thought I was a brave person until this... sigh.
Just do it! They guys can seem scary, but usually they are just there to do their workouts and won't bother you at all. Some will even help you out if you have questions. Really, truly, just do it!!!0 -
xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »Ok so I’m still catching up, but hope everyone is well.
I weighed myself this morning and I’m only 2.6 lb away from a normal BMI. I know, I know BMI is junk, but at least it’s something to measure myself with. I bought a new pair of jeans and a shirt this past weekend- it was supposed to be my “reward outfit” for losing 25 lb, but I’m only 2 lb away from that and desperately needed new jeans for work. So…17 lb left to lose til my ultimate goal and today I’m actually optimistic I can do it.
AND DH decided we need a home gym, so we’re Craigslisting everything. We got a lat pulldown machine last night and we’re getting barbell, Olympic weights, bench, and rack tonight. Still working on flooring, mirrors, and lighting, but yay! I’m AMPED for this. We’re getting everything in good shape for great prices, and I’m much more likely to work out at home than drive to the gym at 9-10 pm.
Sounds awesome! Another plus is you guys can spot each other when you're lifting weights.0 -
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FluffySandwich wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »Thanks for your kind comments, guys
I just dug out a dress of mine from last year and put it on to see if it was fit to bring to Punta Cana. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt ok... but I always feel like mirrors lie to me. I got out my new camera and took a VIDEO OF MYSELF standing in my dress to see what it looked like on camera. I have to say I'm pretty horrified by how terrible my arms look. Maybe with a tan my scars and such won't be as visible... man, those arms!!
EDIT: NO. This is bad. I posted this and I told myself I need to stop hating on myself. So, to take back some damage.... I really like my dimples
EDIT2: I don't want to bring my glasses to the beach to get them lost or stolen while I'm swimming... and I don't wear contacts, so it looks like I might have a partially blind trip.
I'm sure you looked fine in the dress. And you DO have adorable dimples.
I went to the eye doctor Saturday to get contact specifically for my trip. I would recommend it unless you have a weird eye thing like Rachel did on Friends. They will, or should, sample you out a pair to get a feel for them.
My boyfriend just suggested I take off my glasses to get used to not wearing them, but he said my eyes look smaller and more squinty without them. I don't think he was trying to be insulting, but I don't want small and squinty eyes!
If I wasn't wearing glasses or contacts, I would have small squinty eyes from trying to see.
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FluffySandwich wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »Thanks for your kind comments, guys
I just dug out a dress of mine from last year and put it on to see if it was fit to bring to Punta Cana. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt ok... but I always feel like mirrors lie to me. I got out my new camera and took a VIDEO OF MYSELF standing in my dress to see what it looked like on camera. I have to say I'm pretty horrified by how terrible my arms look. Maybe with a tan my scars and such won't be as visible... man, those arms!!
EDIT: NO. This is bad. I posted this and I told myself I need to stop hating on myself. So, to take back some damage.... I really like my dimples
EDIT2: I don't want to bring my glasses to the beach to get them lost or stolen while I'm swimming... and I don't wear contacts, so it looks like I might have a partially blind trip.
You are so adorable, I do not understand how you can hate on yourself!!
Don't you need your glasses while swimming if you wear them all the time? Mine come right with me in the pool. What about an older pair that you can use and if they get ruined no biggie?Italian_Buju wrote: »
I'm learning. I was trying to post dog pictures but I'll post one of my hair. I think I officially have waist length hair finally. I change the length and style quite a bit but I've been enjoying it long so I let it grow. I've never been this long or even close before. Now I'm going in for a trim next week as it has been six months since the last time I had it trimmed. I didn't think it could get this long but it did! I had it in a very short bob in 2011. Edit to add, I didn't have or could not access dog pictures here on this ipad.
confession. I'm ridiculously pleased with myself over my hair growing. I But I have little control over my nails. Brittle and dry and break easily so I have to wear them short.
I guess I could add something weight related. I have maintained a 50+ pound weight loss for more than 12 years.
One advantage we ladies of diminutive stature have is our hair looks longer faster! Last year I cut about 10 inches off my hair to donate to a charity that makes wigs for children with cancer and other illnesses which cause hair loss, and I still had shoulder length hair left. I expect I'll grow it back for the next couple of years, and perhaps cut it off in one go to donate again. Gives me a sense of enormous well-being!
Good stuff!!
@FluffySandwich - I somehow missed the post about the hospital, but saw it in quotes (I do that often, not sure how), but wanted to say how sorry I am that happened! How awful, esp at a young age!Confession: I am being such a scaredy cat and I hate it! I started going to a gym last week with the intention of beginning strength training. I downloaded the stronglifts app and have watched the videos a billion times to get the form right. Every time I go in there and approach the weights, I see all those guys in that area doing their thing. I then turn around and go where all the women are and do the elliptical for 45 min. then go home. What is wrong with me? I thought I was a brave person until this... sigh.
I went to the gym with my other half yeserday. He did 20 minutes on the ARC trainer, then briefly hit the shoulder and chest press.
I did a full StrongLifts 5x5 Workout A, pullups, dips, and assorted ab work in between sets (I can't sit around for 2 minutes!).
His biceps may be bigger than mine, but I can absolutely out squat him!
EDIT: Who needs big biceps when you can have an excellent booty?
I'm looking to have both. Is that too much to ask?!
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Water weight is f*cking annoying. I went from 127.4 on Friday to 128.2 yesterday back to 127.4 today.
Stop fluctuating so much!!!!!!!! I've been weighing myself more often (not recording it) since I'm doing FitnessBlender's abs program. Today is the last day. I only lost 0.4 lbs on the plan. My diet hasn't been the best (staying within my calories but eating a lot of crap), but I see small results. Gonna start another round next week when I get back from being out of town this weekend.0 -
Water weight is f*cking annoying. I went from 127.4 on Friday to 128.2 yesterday back to 127.4 today.
Stop fluctuating so much!!!!!!!! I've been weighing myself more often (not recording it) since I'm doing FitnessBlender's abs program. Today is the last day. I only lost 0.4 lbs on the plan. My diet hasn't been the best (staying within my calories but eating a lot of crap), but I see small results. Gonna start another round next week when I get back from being out of town this weekend.
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I hate drama. We've seen my husband's 12 year old daughter 3 times in the past 10 months since we moved. His son (16) is currently not welcome in our home - long story. This month, we were told that they were all going to be on "vacation" for the entire month at their grandparents' in New Mexico. We found out over the weekend that stepdaughter is the ONLY ONE in NM. So, she chose to forego her weekend with her father (Father's Day, even).
The confession: I'm ready to just be done with the whole lot of them. It's taking every fiber of my being to try to convince my husband not to do so (he wants to be done with the whole lot of them at this point, too). I know that's just his hurt feelings talking.0 -
I've been home from America about 3 months now and I want to go away again, even if only for one night. I just want to sleep on my own again!0
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I am getting tired of the funky weather here. Now we have a tropical depression getting ready to dump anywhere from 4-14" of rain on the Texas coastline. We are just getting over the last round.0
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I am getting tired of the funky weather here. Now we have a tropical depression getting ready to dump anywhere from 4-14" of rain on the Texas coastline. We are just getting over the last round.
I have friends in SE Texas who still have to take a boat to get into their house. This next round could be the end of their house! Stay safe!0 -
girldownsouth wrote: »I've been home from America about 3 months now and I want to go away again, even if only for one night. I just want to sleep on my own again!
Haha I know the feeling!0 -
I confess...
It's 10 PM and I had a ton of calories left, even after dinner, because I didn't have much of an appetite today. I decided to have something desserty, but we only had vanilla ice cream in the freezer. Plain vanilla isn't really worth the calories to me, although it's nice... So then I had an idea: I got 10 grams of peanut butter, and spread it in a thin layer over the walls of a tiny ice cream bowl, then served the ice cream on top of it. Then, with each bite, I scraped a little peanut butter off the wall of the bowl. Mmmmm, so good.
And then, I STILL had a ton of calories left, so I made a mock peanut butter milkshake. That was so good too.
...I really love peanut butter.0 -
Also... This thread is pretty quiet for a Monday. It seems a lot of the regular posters aren't bothering to keep up anymore, and it's slowing down. This makes me very sad.0
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »Also... This thread is pretty quiet for a Monday. It seems a lot of the regular posters aren't bothering to keep up anymore, and it's slowing down. This makes me very sad.
Hope everyone's days are going/have gone well.
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »I confess...
It's 10 PM and I had a ton of calories left, even after dinner, because I didn't have much of an appetite today. I decided to have something desserty, but we only had vanilla ice cream in the freezer. Plain vanilla isn't really worth the calories to me, although it's nice... So then I had an idea: I got 10 grams of peanut butter, and spread it in a thin layer over the walls of a tiny ice cream bowl, then served the ice cream on top of it. Then, with each bite, I scraped a little peanut butter off the wall of the bowl. Mmmmm, so good.
And then, I STILL had a ton of calories left, so I made a mock peanut butter milkshake. That was so good too.
...I really love peanut butter.
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Wow, my first double post! I feel special.0
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Finally finished sending off my CSQ and post-graduate work permit application for Canada. THAT'S done. Too bad I have to now look forward to applying for my permanent residency. So much money, too!!0
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »I confess...
It's 10 PM and I had a ton of calories left, even after dinner, because I didn't have much of an appetite today. I decided to have something desserty, but we only had vanilla ice cream in the freezer. Plain vanilla isn't really worth the calories to me, although it's nice... So then I had an idea: I got 10 grams of peanut butter, and spread it in a thin layer over the walls of a tiny ice cream bowl, then served the ice cream on top of it. Then, with each bite, I scraped a little peanut butter off the wall of the bowl. Mmmmm, so good.
And then, I STILL had a ton of calories left, so I made a mock peanut butter milkshake. That was so good too.
...I really love peanut butter.
You weirdo! I do enjoy vanilla ice cream actually, but only when it's accompanied by something. For example, the reason I bought vanilla ice cream to begin with was to top a giant molten lava cookie that I baked recently, and I didn't use it all up. But when I'm eating ice cream for the sake of eating ice cream... Vanilla feels too plain to be worth it.0 -
Vanilla ice cream has its place: on a warm brownie, covered with chocolate fudge. Nowhere else.0
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AngryViking1970 wrote: »Vanilla ice cream has its place: on a warm brownie, covered with chocolate fudge. Nowhere else.
You. I like you. Except that you forgot the molten lava cookie part.0 -
FluffySandwich wrote: »Finally finished sending off my CSQ and post-graduate work permit application for Canada. THAT'S done. Too bad I have to now look forward to applying for my permanent residency. So much money, too!!
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