My bf cheated on me
Replies
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The thing that bothers me the most is that he won't admit to what he did!1
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Pour_Decisions wrote: »Pour_Decisions wrote: »Pour_Decisions wrote: »Pour_Decisions wrote: »ButterIsGood wrote: »Guys my friend just told me more. Apparently a day before he broke up with me, he asked her to go out and try ethopian food with him and she agreed to go. He talked about me to her. Saying he wasnt happy. That he was gonna leave me but waiting until after Valentine's day but then about a day later, he texted her saying that he couldn't wait any longer and had broken up with me.
I don't think you have a very good friend. Why would she agree to go to dinner with him and tell you after the fact. This all sound really suspect to me.
Maybe she thought it was just as friends.
Why does everything have to be suspect? (Asking for a friend of a friend
)
I don't know, if my friend's man asked me to go to dinner I would:
1) tell my friend (if it's supposed to be innocent then that won't be a problem)
2) probably not go
Yeah but they all knew each other at work so she could have thought it was innocent. And then it turned out not to be.
As someone who was accused on here from people who didn't know me about having motives other than what I actually typed out, I feel the need to defend both the OP and her friend.
Nope, not buying it. There's an unspoken code you just know, as a woman and as a friend. Even if it's innocent, I'm telling my friend. There is no harm in that. It's sneaky of him to ask her in the first place. Evidently he had ulterior motives.
Yes, sneaky of HIM. But the friend told the OP not to tell him she talked to her. And, even if details are trickling out, the friend outright told the OP the guy hit on her.
Well I would've told her he invited me to dinner before accepting. In fact I would've invited her. Throw a wrench in his plans.
Well, I probably would have too! Or at least assumed she knew. 0 -
ButterIsGood wrote: »The thing that bothers me the most is that he won't admit to what he did!
Narcissists never will. It's never their fault.8 -
The friend may not have done a thing to encourage his attempt...I had my best friend's husband try that with me years ago and trust me, I did nothing to encourage it. I couldn't stand him and never talked to him, hung out with him, nothing. He just randomly tried to start up one day while she was out of town. Some people are just rotten people. Oh, and they never admit to what they do! Be glad it was only 1 year in, no marriage and no kids when he revealed himself.9
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missnikki73 wrote: »The friend may not have done a thing to encourage his attempt...I had my best friend's husband try that with me years ago and trust me, I did nothing to encourage it. I couldn't stand him and never talked to him, hung out with him, nothing. He just randomly tried to start up one day while she was out of town. Some people are just rotten people. Oh, and they never admit to what they do! Be glad it was only 1 year in, no marriage and no kids when he revealed himself.
Strong first post.
(Not said sarcastically. I'm just happy someone agrees with me!) 2 -
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ButterIsGood wrote: »The thing that bothers me the most is that he won't admit to what he did!
Did you ever tell him exactly WHAT you learned that he did? Like your friend's name whom he allegedly asked out to dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant?
Literally brought up everything that she said except using her name. And he just changes the subject. Starts making it about me and not about what he did to seal the deal. When he asked for a break, I thought he'd be over it in a week or so and then we could go back to our relationship. I never ever suspected he was out with my friend or was even going for it during this time. But when I found out about this, I can't ever take him back. With what he did, he sealed the deal.4 -
ButterIsGood wrote: »ButterIsGood wrote: »The thing that bothers me the most is that he won't admit to what he did!
Did you ever tell him exactly WHAT you learned that he did? Like your friend's name whom he allegedly asked out to dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant?
Literally brought up everything that she said except using her name. And he just changes the subject. Starts making it about me and not about what he did to seal the deal. When he asked for a break, I thought he'd be over it in a week or so and then we could go back to our relationship. I never ever suspected he was out with my friend or was even going for it during this time. But when I found out about this, I can't ever take him back. With what he did, he sealed the deal.
The longer you keep talking with him, the more he's gonna find a spin angle that works with you. This is why you need to delete and block and move on now. If you don't, by the end of the week he's gonna have you believing that you did something wrong and need to apologize to him and beg him to come back.
Mark my words.12 -
InsertFunnyUsernameHere wrote: »ButterIsGood wrote: »ButterIsGood wrote: »The thing that bothers me the most is that he won't admit to what he did!
Did you ever tell him exactly WHAT you learned that he did? Like your friend's name whom he allegedly asked out to dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant?
Literally brought up everything that she said except using her name. And he just changes the subject. Starts making it about me and not about what he did to seal the deal. When he asked for a break, I thought he'd be over it in a week or so and then we could go back to our relationship. I never ever suspected he was out with my friend or was even going for it during this time. But when I found out about this, I can't ever take him back. With what he did, he sealed the deal.
The longer you keep talking with him, the more he's gonna find a spin angle that works with you. This is why you need to delete and block and move on now. If you don't, by the end of the week he's gonna have you believing that you did something wrong and need to apologize to him and beg him to come back.
Mark my words.
^^^ This.
Stop talking to him.8 -
InsertFunnyUsernameHere wrote: »ButterIsGood wrote: »ButterIsGood wrote: »The thing that bothers me the most is that he won't admit to what he did!
Did you ever tell him exactly WHAT you learned that he did? Like your friend's name whom he allegedly asked out to dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant?
Literally brought up everything that she said except using her name. And he just changes the subject. Starts making it about me and not about what he did to seal the deal. When he asked for a break, I thought he'd be over it in a week or so and then we could go back to our relationship. I never ever suspected he was out with my friend or was even going for it during this time. But when I found out about this, I can't ever take him back. With what he did, he sealed the deal.
The longer you keep talking with him, the more he's gonna find a spin angle that works with you. This is why you need to delete and block and move on now. If you don't, by the end of the week he's gonna have you believing that you did something wrong and need to apologize to him and beg him to come back.
Mark my words.
Yep this.. he'll work all the angles.. run6 -
Pour_Decisions wrote: »Pour_Decisions wrote: »Pour_Decisions wrote: »Pour_Decisions wrote: »ButterIsGood wrote: »Guys my friend just told me more. Apparently a day before he broke up with me, he asked her to go out and try ethopian food with him and she agreed to go. He talked about me to her. Saying he wasnt happy. That he was gonna leave me but waiting until after Valentine's day but then about a day later, he texted her saying that he couldn't wait any longer and had broken up with me.
I don't think you have a very good friend. Why would she agree to go to dinner with him and tell you after the fact. This all sound really suspect to me.
Maybe she thought it was just as friends.
Why does everything have to be suspect? (Asking for a friend of a friend)
I don't know, if my friend's man asked me to go to dinner I would:
1) tell my friend (if it's supposed to be innocent then that won't be a problem)
2) probably not go
Yeah but they all knew each other at work so she could have thought it was innocent. And then it turned out not to be.
As someone who was accused on here from people who didn't know me about having motives other than what I actually typed out, I feel the need to defend both the OP and her friend.
Nope, not buying it. There's an unspoken code you just know, as a woman and as a friend. Even if it's innocent, I'm telling my friend. There is no harm in that. It's sneaky of him to ask her in the first place. Evidently he had ulterior motives.
Yes, sneaky of HIM. But the friend told the OP not to tell him she talked to her. And, even if details are trickling out, the friend outright told the OP the guy hit on her.
Well I would've told her he invited me to dinner before accepting. In fact I would've invited her. Throw a wrench in his plans.
Unless the friend accepted thinking maybe he wanted help planning something special. Did the OP say it was actually dinner? Maybe I assumed it was lunch because they work together. Which is significantly more innocent.
Before I married him, my ex-husband and my BFF would talk on the phone every Thursday night while watching Friends at the same time (yeah, it was a while ago) while I was in a class. If they had chosen to watch in the same place I would not have been concerned at all. But... somebody better have helped him if he had come on to her the day after ending things with me. I wouldn't need to do anything, she would have put him in his place herself.
I think most of us are, dare I say, older than the OP and her friend. I'm chalking some of the trickle truth and being nonconfrontational up to age/experience.1 -
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InsertFunnyUsernameHere wrote: »ButterIsGood wrote: »ButterIsGood wrote: »The thing that bothers me the most is that he won't admit to what he did!
Did you ever tell him exactly WHAT you learned that he did? Like your friend's name whom he allegedly asked out to dinner at an Ethiopian restaurant?
Literally brought up everything that she said except using her name. And he just changes the subject. Starts making it about me and not about what he did to seal the deal. When he asked for a break, I thought he'd be over it in a week or so and then we could go back to our relationship. I never ever suspected he was out with my friend or was even going for it during this time. But when I found out about this, I can't ever take him back. With what he did, he sealed the deal.
The longer you keep talking with him, the more he's gonna find a spin angle that works with you. This is why you need to delete and block and move on now. If you don't, by the end of the week he's gonna have you believing that you did something wrong and need to apologize to him and beg him to come back.
Mark my words.
100% this! Block and move on3 -
MIltonBradley1 wrote: »ButterIsGood wrote: »The thing that bothers me the most is that he won't admit to what he did!
I do that with farts.
I always blame my dog.
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@ButterisGood You're young, smarter now. Carry on.
Without him.2 -
He hasn't texted me aince this morning. Ive already blocked him on insta, Facebook and snap chat. I'm just waiting to grab my stuff to block his number8
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The_Devil_In_Miss_Jones_ wrote: »
This is so fabricated, it was NOT my nose that grew...4 -
ButterIsGood wrote: »He hasn't texted me aince this morning. Ive already blocked him on insta, Facebook and snap chat. I'm just waiting to grab my stuff to block his number
That a girl.. 0 -
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ButterIsGood wrote: »The thing that bothers me the most is that he won't admit to what he did!
Why would he? He is clearly trying to save face. He isn't man enough to own up to his *kitten*. This was premeditated. He is interested in your friend and since she rejected him, he thinks he can just waltz back into your life and have you again... after all this deception... This guys a joker. This opinion is based on what you have said however there were a few curious comments in the texts you posted earlier. If the situation is as cut and dry as you claim... my advise is to do a 180 and start walking... you can lick your wounds while you move the *kitten* on... with your dignity in tact.6 -
MIltonBradley1 wrote: »MIltonBradley1 wrote: »ButterIsGood wrote: »The thing that bothers me the most is that he won't admit to what he did!
I do that with farts.
I always blame my dog.
Yeah. Can't do that with cats, which is another reason why they are worthless.
:laugh:
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lick your wounds while you move the *kitten* on... with your dignity in tact.
@Bullet_with_Butterfly_Wings -
emphasis on*WHILE you move on*! hear hear0 -
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ButterIsGood wrote: »Guys my friend just told me more. Apparently a day before he broke up with me, he asked her to go out and try ethopian food with him and she agreed to go. He talked about me to her. Saying he wasnt happy. That he was gonna leave me but waiting until after Valentine's day but then about a day later, he texted her saying that he couldn't wait any longer and had broken up with me.
You need to reevaluate your friendship with this "friend" for sure, and also, move past this dude. Do not respond to him, do not give him your time. You spent a year with him yes, it's okay to be upset about it, you are entitled to that because it always stings when we find out that people are not who we thought they were. But do not let him see you upset, he does not deserve to feel the gratification that it will make him feel. Just move on. You are young, and beautiful. His loss. For real.2 -
He just texted again. A big paragraph I wish I could post but it has alot of bad words in it. Didn't respond. Maybe ill copy and paste without the bad words4
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ButterIsGood wrote: »He just texted again. A big paragraph I wish I could post but it has alot of bad words in it. Didn't respond. Maybe ill copy and paste without the bad words
Block him from your phone.
Done, and done!3 -
Yeah ignore my sh** you piece of sh**!!!!!! I did NOTHING to you to BETRAY me!!! Nothing!!!! I was nothing but a good f***ing boyfriend that took your b***s*it!!!!!!! I gave you NO f**ing reason why you betrayed me!!!!!!! None!!!! And what! Even though you f***ing betrayed me I was still f***ing nice about it!!!!! So f*** you! And I hope karma f***kng kicks your f*****ng a*s!!!! Hard too! Quit making excuses in your crazy *kitten* f***ing head to help you sleep at night!!!! At the end of the day YOU f***ed up and killed this f****ng relationship!!!! YOU AND ONLY YOU!!!! F*** outta here with your b****kitten*! You f***ing crazy!!!2
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And he just sent this: You f****ng piece of s**t ruined my perfectly good relationship! You ruined it!!! I found a person with the same personality finally and you ruined it!!!!!! And now you gon have the balls to try to flip the script!!!! F**k that!!!"2
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Hmmm.. something odd here..🤔
So what exactly does he think you did to betray him?2 -
if you're going to get your things from his place, get a male friend to go with you. he isn't stable.
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