WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR SEPTEMBER 2020
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Snowflake1968 wrote: »Rebecca - so sorry your sister is suffering from Gout. I have two friends that suffer terribly with it.
I should clarify, I am actually happier in my marriage than I was for a long time. We have worked hard to get to where we are. I just was feeling sorry for myself about my birthday and complained about the lack of a gift. I know I am loved, I’m respected, don’t have to deal with abuse or any addictions. I just sometimes expect more.
My role models in marriage made it look so easy, I think that’s always been one of my issues is I was never aware of the hard work that went into it.
Pip - happy Anniversary
I had great role models too- my parents have been married for 62yrs (married VERY young), my former inlaws have also been married 62yrs (a little older than my parents)- Still show love/affection to each other. Very hard on them now that former MIL is in a rest home with dementia and now Covid(but no symptoms)
My current inlaws were just the opposite- no affection ever shown or felt between either- just a marriage of convienence (she had a 2yr old and living in Japan/divorced) and he was a widower. Said that was the biggest mistake he ever made. That is the "role model" husband saw so of course not a good thing.
Things are not terrible, they could be so much worse. I don't have to worry about physical abuse, no financial worries. Up until 5 yrs ago, I just assumed that it was something wrong with me- that that was all I deserved(hubby #1 left with no warning and was gone 20yrs before I heard from him again- finally got answers and now we are great- both wish we would have worked harder and stayed together-jr. high sweethearts)
Debbie3 -
I ordered my Christmas cards yesterday I still like to send real ones and, even better, get some back.
I did it because the gallery I usually order them from sent me a reminder. Their cards were the same as last year's and I couldn't find anything new I liked.
So, I just browsed a couple of charities and found excellent ones on the Royal National Lifeboat Institute. Christmas beach huts! Perfect for Hove. So I bought them. Done!
Love Heather UK xxxxxxxx4 -
Rebecca - I haven't even thought of Christmas cards, yet. True, I did string the popcorn for the tree, but I haven't thought of cards yet. Maybe that could be one of the things I do when I get bored (which is a lot lately)
Michele NC1 -
I haven’t been bored despite poor air quality, weather disasters in the gulf states, fires in our state and other west coast states, social distancing in the stores, CoVid 19 . . . We live in interesting times. Scary times—3
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Renewal
The turning Earth reveals an awesome sight.
The burning sphere of piercing, white-gold light,
the universal energy sublimely rising,
unimaginably awesome power surprising,
in its majesty delighting
every morning with its brightening.
(C) 2020 Terri Richardson
Especially grateful for waking to a particularly spectacular sunrise this morning, and another opportunity to live well.
I don't think marriage is an easy gig. My heart goes out to those of you having problems. I have found that trying to force DH to do what I want is counter-productive. Subtlety works much better with him. It's not always been a bed of roses, but then I never expected it to be so. I had many role models for marriage, but in the end, I believe that you create your own model, and need to constantly adjust it. it's usually a rollercoaster ride. And just like rollercoasters, each one is different, and we find our own way to ride the roller coaster. We almost always have the difficult option of getting off, but occasionally it breaks down, and we are left stranded.
Heather: I usually design a simple Christmas card and insert a poem inside. I often paint a Christmas watercolour and use it for the front, and hand embellish them. I have quite a few already made. I make a few special ones for people that I know appreciate that sort of thing. I post about 25 cards and hand deliver the majority.
No set plans for today, but it will include lots of exercise, some creative craft work, and perhaps gardening.
'Live long and prosper' (Spock, aka Leonard Nemoy in Star Trek)
☘️ Terri
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Terri: I love your poem. We certainly live in interesting times, a blessing and also a curse. We are living with a pandemic, wild fires, hurricanes & social distancing. We wear masks in public. We also have a community of women 50+ who share wisdom, & life experience. I like it.
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I received Christmas cards for work this week. Most likely will mail them to staff homes this year (since that is where most are working). Will take a while to inscribe, sign, and address 200 or so. Something to keep me busy!1
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@Michele,
I used to have instant coffee for guests and also i have, long ago, made filter coffee. it's been ages. awesome for time with PJ!
@Pip, the inside of the CRV looks great for carrying furniture, planks, and so on.
@Ginny, you probably told us somewhere, but what is the ladies' group about ?
@Debbie, i'm so sorry your DH#1 left like that. that must have been shattering.
@Heather i used to send holiday cards. They are a big thing in the usa and i think in the UK too. not at all in france. i used to send them and i would almost never get any back. basically mostly only independent workers would/do send new year's cards/e-cards if anything.
HUSBANDS/ SIGNIFICANT OTHERS do you tell your DH/significat others that you want/expect a gift (or meal or cake) and/or that it's important to you?
It seems among us, some of us like gifts at holidays/birthdays, and some are really not into that.
They won't know what's important if we don't tell them.
When splitting with last serious BF we did this ritual where we told one another what we were grateful for, what we apologized for and what we forgave one another for. It was really something. It was nice and for a few things nicely surprising to hear the grateful things. I remember for one or two things he forgave me for, i was surprised because he had never said that thing was important and in fact had said that it wasn't and i would have been able to adapt in that case had he said it was important, as i could certainly understand.
He carried his weight overall in the relationship in terms, of time, energy, attention, etc, but he was not great in the gift department; since it wasnt a big deal to me, that was not 100% perfect but not an issue for me. We would take one another out for a bite on our repsective birthdays and hopefully do something else nice like go for a walk.
When alone on my birthday i often do the same: have a nice meal and go for a walk.
Ideal for me is to organise a little simple meal with 1 to 6 friends; but in mid-august in paris about 95% of people are away, and me too.
GOUT my father had it in his 70s, connected to diabetes. i hadn't realized it was so painful. he had a great deal of various very major health issues after age 60, so i didn't follow up on all of them.2 -
today i went for a fastish walk around mini-park near me: 10 times around this little loop, doing mild speed-walking; what i dislike is that one of my bosses lives smack next to the park and i have occasionally run into him there. i think i am not projecting when i say we are both happy not to run into one another; but with the gym closed, i have to sometimes make do.
i weighed and tracked my food.
meeting a colleague at 5. i need to prepare a bit.
slept very badly last night.
QUESTION FOR ALL
If you don't sleep well, what do you do? Does it help you to fall back asleep OR to make good use of time OR to feel positive even if not sleeping ?0 -
Ginny- i had the robotic DaVinci hysterectomy done.. i was one of the first to get it done..
Well 2 things I have Mitral Valve Prolapse and it is documented..but i dont think they ever gave me the tilt test,and that is what happened they already had me out and tilted me back for surgery and my heart wenr haywire.. had to stop the surgery and call.cardiology down..they stabilized me and went back to work.. i woke up in ICU because of heart thing...so i ended up witb a bladder infection after a couple of weeks and then had to go back in for exploratory surgery because the GYN nicked the ureter.. so they had to put a stent in.. im fine now but boy for awhile ir was rough...
Just dont tell your daughter what i told you.. she will probably fly right through it and feel sooo much better..5 -
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bananasandoranges wrote: »HUSBANDS/ SIGNIFICANT OTHERS do you tell your DH/significat others that you want/expect a gift (or meal or cake) and/or that it's important to you?
It seems among us, some of us like gifts at holidays/birthdays, and some are really not into that.
They won't know what's important if we don't tell them.
Absolutely!! I put birthdays and our anniversary on both our google calendars with a long reminder time. I also add a calendar entry called "Get Birthday Card" (or anniversary as the case may be).
We also talk about what we want to do for our birthdays/anniversary.
We're not really into gifts ... we prefer doing something interesting. So we'll talk about what our options are, make our choices, book what we need to book, etc.
It's much less stressful that way.
M in Oz2 -
bananasandoranges wrote: »QUESTION FOR ALL
If you don't sleep well, what do you do? Does it help you to fall back asleep OR to make good use of time OR to feel positive even if not sleeping ?
If for some reason it's 2 am and I'm not asleep, I take a mild sleeping pill. If I don't get at least 6 hours at night, I won't be able to function properly at work and doing homework between 8 am and midnight.
I don't have the option of sleeping in or naps etc.
M in Oz1 -
Terri Nice verse! I am getting anxious to see sunrises again.
Rebecca Sorry to hear your sister has gout. I can't imagine living in a basement and having health problems.
Katla Smoke has thinned some here and they have it rated unhealthy. Still hard for me to be out in it. They say now bad until Saturday.
Bananas If I don't sleep well I try doing my self-hypnosis and deep breathing. If that doesn't work I get up and listen to classical guitar music.
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(((Lisa)))
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Fayetta: Our air quality is currently unhealthy. It is 343 right now at 4:07 am. We are running our air conditioner to improve our indoor air quality.2
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Good morning all! It has taken me a couple of mornings to catch up on posts!
Machka- I would probably opt to serve a brunch. A crustless quiche, green salad, mini cinnamon rolls, fresh fruit, fresh juice/mimosas and coffee. In the colder months I might change up the salad for my butternut squash and pear soup.
Husbands- I have mentioned before that the fact that I couldn't change my husband hit me like a ton of bricks many years ago. Not that he was horrible; just did "man" things that aren't the way I do/react to them. SO...I just started accepting him. HOWEVER...now that we are working together...lol...let's just say we might need to adjust what exactly he does, until he learns the ropes with the kids. I love him; but I want to strangle him.
Peeps- Yuck! I am not a big marshmallow fan. I have a friend who has a bakery and makes fresh marshmallow treats; those are okay, but marshmallow on a whole is not my thing. I do buy the Peep snowmen to that the kids can make Snowman Soup in December. (Hot cocoa, with a Snowman Peep added and stirred until melted)
Still waiting for licensing to visit and give me my license (officially). I am also, now, two weeks away from seeing my grandsons! I am so excited, but it is a mad scramble to get the house ready while I have kids here every day. They are coming in on Friday night, so I will be busy disinfecting and switching up toys, while Tim or Colin go to pick them up at the airport.
Ooops! Here come my kiddos! Gotta fly! ttfn xoxoxo KJ (Kelly)4 -
bananasandoranges wrote: »QUESTION FOR ALL
If you don't sleep well, what do you do? Does it help you to fall back asleep OR to make good use of time OR to feel positive even if not sleeping ?
If for some reason it's 2 am and I'm not asleep, I take a mild sleeping pill. If I don't get at least 6 hours at night, I won't be able to function properly at work and doing homework between 8 am and midnight.
I don't have the option of sleeping in or naps etc.
M in Oz
Regarding sleep, this is a not-for-profit blog someone (me) quickly threw together about the topic of sleep ... with tips.
And since it is 10:40 pm, the lights are dim and I'm going to have some of my chamomile tea now.
I would have music on, but the Tour de France airs late in the evening these days, so that's on instead.
M in Oz3 -
Hello everyone.
I have been thinking of all of you. Just really busy at work. It has only been a few days and there are over 300 posts here. I will try to catch up over the next few days.
I attempted to get a full picture of the orchid this morning. Enjoy!
Hugs to all.8 -
Did an advanced strength DVD. The plan for tomorrow is to do a Peak Fitness Challenge. Then I want to go to Food Lion before we leave since they have Vince’s soda on sale and I’m not sure that the FL in DE has the same items on sale or not. Since I didn’t exercise yesterday, I can’t get over how good I feel exercising today!
Katla – don’t forget the earthquake here in NC! Yes, things ARE weird
Bananas – yes, I tell Vince what I want for Christmas and what I don’t want. He used to always give me a bag of Dove chocolate for Christmas. One year a while ago I asked him not to give it to me any more and he hasn’t. I usually create a list of what I want for Christmas all during the year because I know I’d forget some things and then send that list to Denise, Jess and Vince. At least I know that I’m getting what I want. Vince had gout a while ago and he wanted someone to cut off his toe. He now takes Uloric to prevent another attack. When I don’t sleep well, sometimes I watch TV, sometimes I play mahjongg online, I usually check my email and search for something if I need it. Like last night I was researching kitchen scales. I’ve never taken a sleeping pill.
When we get back from DE I want to order more sourdough starter and a kitchen scale. Vince is so OCD about little things (if a little – and I do mean a little – flour gets on his scale, he gets so upset) that I’d really prefer not to use his scale any more. I think I probably should have let it double more, but I was so excited that I made that loaf of bread. Well, it doubled in size and passed the float test so to me that was enough. I probably should have let it double even more.
Allie – ever since Vince was diagnosed with WPW, he was ALWAYS put on the cardiac floor of the hospital, even if he went in for nothing related to the heart. Well, I guess that was the silver lining. But now that he’s had the ablation, they don’t do this.
KJ – I made marshmallows once, they were good. I probably should make them again. I’m trying to get the house cleaned for when we leave. At least the kitchen. I just don’t like coming home to a dirty kitchen. I also just realized that it's Thursday and we leave tomorrow so I'm trying getting food ready to take
Michele NC
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Sleep. If breathing exercises and relaxation don't work, I change to a different bed and read for a while. Occasionally I have to take a pain killer, because it's often mild aches and pains that are keeping me awake.
My legs are aching in the early morning these days, so I'm awake early.
DH out seeing his daughters outside for a pub lunch. I hope he keeps a proper distance as his younger daughter is quite the London socialiser. His elder daughter is selling up and preparing to move to France. It is a rush to get settled before the UK finally leave the EU on December 31st. She already has a house there, but she needs residency status.
I hope it works out for her, but it has a lot of implications for pension etc now we have left the EU. She can still do her IT job for a few months from home. She will be 50 in December.
Love to all, Heather UK xxxxxxxx1 -
"Get to do"s and "chose well"sChose well: massage, pooches down drive,
Bonus: made antipasto chicken and pappardelle, found cell phone where I dropped it on the drive before it got soaked.
Get to do: take pics of car, test Bluetooth speaker so can do BB&B or T’ai Chi from voice recordings, Pilot tech support 5034447924 to link subscription and fix login, measure potential greenhouse space and distance to outlet, make experimental almond paste, declutter sideboard, practice new dances (Nothing but You, Shake it like that, Larger than Life, Here I Go Again/Mama Mia, Real Deal, Get it Right); make garlic almonds for Barb and Dan; prep potato area and raised beds for beets, carrots, parsley root, parsnips, radishes and sow; weed drive again, finish weeding flower bed, mulch flowerbed; invest another 10 minutes in prepping living trust, Freddie’s for complete series TDAP <$48, get Shingrix vaccine. Reward: inventory seeds, plan fall cool season garden, order replenishments, figure out where to plant naked lady bulbs, Tuesday: call Progressive adjuster,
Self Care September
17: positive post-its:
Blessed rain, beautiful rain, sweeping the air, softening the earth, thank you rain!
Lisa sounds like the VA has finally provided the right provider. Fingers Xd. I’d add “no more than 3 bullet points” to your “…specific, active words that make sense to the way they think…” then be quiet to let them process. It also helps if there’s a trusted male they can consult. That having been said, you can’t make them want to love you, so sometimes it’s just time to go.
Debby in VA is your youngest daughter asking you to babysit your gs while she makes home visits, or to foster him in your home full time?
Katla not just livestock and pets, cougars will attack people too. They are one of the few downsides to living in the woods above the sea.
Vicki
Pip OMG! Do Bette’s new owners plan to repair her? 24yrs since you met Kirby? How time flies when you’re having fun! Labor day weekend was our 36th getting together anniversary, but we’ve never really celebrated. Now it’s somewhat tainted by our move-from-hell in 2017. Our 33rd wedding anniversary will be in October.
Michele digging and putting down rocks definitely counts as exercise in my book! “The cookies men love” are a plain brown sugar/butter refrigerator cooky. I spice them up with a little mace and put a pecan half on top before baking. We can eat them by the handfuls, alas. I don’t make coffee well, so that’s Joe’s job Safe travels! Looking forward to PJ pics.
Ginnny for your SIL’s dog. Fingers X’d for benign biopsy results.
Debbie in Napa toasted peeps? What a great idea! I used to toast marshmallows over Mama’s electric stove burner but wasn’t very careful about not touching marsmallow to element. Made a nasty carboniferous mess. Didn’t do that again! Now that I have a gas/propane stove…
Rebecca I can almost hear you giggling from here…
Heather please share pics of your Christmas Beach Huts cards. So perfectly Hove indeed!
Terri love hearing about your walks and would love to see pics of your watercolor cards.
Julie gifting is a crapshoot here. Joe claims shopping is stressful but I suspect he has a certain about of fun taking a pile of $$ to BiMart and buying stuff. In the past, I’ve told him “I want X” or “This is what you’re getting me for Christmas” more efficient but less fun for both. He claims he’d rather forget the holidays entirely, but I’m learning not to take too seriously EVERYTHING he says… after 36 years… The most I insisted on (pre-Covid) was being taken out to dinner for my birthday and our anniversary, something I enjoy but he doesn’t. Now I go out with my March birthday friend for dinner, and will content myself with Mexican Lunch with Joe to celebrate our anniversary.
Sleep: When I wake and can’t get back to sleep it helps me to get up and do something, wash a dish, dust (hahahaha) a piece of furniture, balance the checking account, get something off the list. Then I can return to bed and sleep. If aches keep me from sleeping one regular (325 mg) aspirin knocks me out like a light. Good luck!
KJ license and grands coming? How exciting!
Lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMODSeptember: better than August.
daily: sit with Joe: 16, weigh: 15, steps>5491=3087 vits=15.5 log=16 CI<CO=11 CI<250<CO=7 Tumble & Shadow 5=17 mfp=15 outside=14 up hill=16
wkly: T’ai Chi or BB&B x3= rx=2 dance= clean 30 mins=3.5
mnthly: board mtg=1 grant= 20for20=
bonus: AF=8 play= sew=
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Good morning ladies!
I stumbled onto a neat website yesterday which is a treasure trove (to me) of books, audio, you name it.
This is it: https://archive.org/
I know several of you like to listen to books and read them on kindle. This website has all types of media.
Our local library's streaming service has been spotty, there's often a waiting list, and the app they send the books to hasn't been reliable. I have found books here that our library no longer carries or that have been out of print.
Enjoy-
Lanette
Still smokey SW WA State
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Lanette ~ That looks like an interesting site!1
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I received a message from a site that I had fitness photos stored that it was closing for good the end of the month. I hadn't been able to download any of my photos since I quit paying. I was able to download a few from my fitness journey that I had previously lost.
Since this site is about fitness and this category is about motivation, and this thread about advanced years, I want to briefly share my story of weight gain and loss. That is right, ladies, I was not always the skinny happy go lucky age-inappropriate dressing brat I am today. I was miserable, sluggish, impatient, and disgusted about my undeserved misfortune. I was allowing myself to become a whiny victim, a pitiful excuse-making bag of fat.
Due to my worsening nerve condition and unbearable Trimenginal Neuralgia caused by the Varicella/Zoster virus, I was put on sodium blocking drugs. Within a week the pain was growing milder, but my scales needle was going clockwise. I was age 59. See my photo. By age 61 I weighted 201 lbs!!!! That is right, girls, when you deaden pain and slow your nerves you gain weight. I was eating the same balanced semi-healthy diet as always. I was doing about the same workout and walking the same as I do today.
I looked like I was pregnant. See the photo, age 63, after a 21 lbs loss and how horrible I looked. I didn't keep my hair nice, I wore glasses that made me look old, and wore baggy clothes when out in public. When the scales hit 201, I didn't recognize the woman sharing back at me in the mirror. I became motivated like bolt of lightning hit me. My PCP confirmed that the carbamazepine was the cause. I was sent to a Neurologist that started tapering me off it.
That of course was not good enough for this old mountain and river country girl, so me being the warrioress I am declared war on all drugs that caused weight gain. I threw it in the trash. I didn't sleep for 3 days and nights and wound up in the ER. Once released I came home with a few sleep pills. Within a week I was sleeping well and ready to start my new journey.
I increased my workout to an hour twice a day. The weight came off a lot slower than it went on. It took me 2 years to reach a weight of 180, but after that, it came off faster. By 65 I was around 160 and by 67 down to 150. 150 has always been my best weight as long as it is muscle and not fat.
At age 68 when cancer struck, I was down to 128 which is unhealthy for a female of 5' 9" regardless of what Hollywood likes to advertise. Today almost 2 years cancer-free, I am holding 142. I am still trying to gain that 8 lbs as long as it is muscle.
I hope my story motivates young ladies to get tough and not down. Set your goals realistic. Don't become a victim. If you were overweight before a mass weight gain, then try to return to that weight, not what some chart says is your perfect weight. I have been criticized in the past for advocating this, but give it some thought. If you have been 20 lbs over since a teenager and you gain another 40 at age 50-60, try to lose that 40 first. If you are comfortable at that weight, then maintain it. You may discover that your weight of 20 lbs over has become muscle instead of fat.
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Michele - I am so happy that you will be given an opportunity to babysit PJ.
Gifts - We exchange gifts at Christmas and he expects a gift for his birthday and Father's Day which I normally do because I love buying for people. He buys for me at Christmas and usually spoils me, for my birthday he just tells me to buy myself something. For Mother's Day I don't get anything from him. Our Anniversary we usually buy something for the house or go out to dinner or something.
I don't need anything and if I want something I'll usually get it myself but to me a card and someone putting some thought into it makes me feel special.
Holiday Cards - I scrapbooked and made cards for a few years and sent out holiday cards when I did that. I had so much fun doing it and loved that I brightened someone's day, but since we moved here I haven't found a great setup and haven't made any cards except for a couple. As a matter of fact, I bought paper to make one for Kirby for Pip to give him, I still have the paper and not made the card.
Julie - If I'm not able to sleep, I usually just lie there and fume. LOL If I don't have to work the next day I may get up and read in the living room for a while. I have started using that which shall not be named since it became legal in Canada before I go to bed and very rarely have a sleepless night anymore.
Kelly - I could not work with my husband, my hats off to you.
I have a funny little story to share.
Our Grandson received a harmonica for his birthday from his paternal Grandparents at his little party on Saturday. Our place is very small and since the adults were visiting we told him to take the harmonica out on the deck. Last night when he came to visit he said to Rodg.
Jonah: "Grampie, your gnomes make a terrible audience".
Rodg: "What are you talking about"?
Jonah: "Well, when I was playing for them one of them gave me the finger, one of them flashed his bum at me and the other one just stood there with a dopey look on his face".
I'll post a pic of the gnomes below.
Tracey in Edmonton
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