WOMEN AGES 50+ FOR JANUARY 2023
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New setup.kids have a heated throw to keep them warm while they are outside at night. Didn’t put up the rent that attaches to the car, think this thing works better. It’s intended to store bikes outside.7 -
This is a pic of the kids outside. The pic above is where they sleep which is under our bed9 -
Sue in WA - Well done on the weight loss.
That is a great achievement.
I enjoyed my lunch with my friend G. The restaurant is perfect and it was full. Good atmosphere.
She was very helpful with my problem with my ex. Then I listened to her problem with her daughter. Nice to be of service to each other.
I walked her to the station and stopped on the way to buy focaccia and wonderful Italian fennel sausages. They are in the freezer now. When I got off the bus near home I popped in to the art shop and bought a stubby brush that I can give to DH on Valentines Day. It will be great for stippling trees. I have already ordered metallic paints for him from Amazon. Just got to paint a card now!
Hope I sleep better tonight. Only got about 4 hours last night and even less the night before.
Love to all, Heather UK xxxxxxxx5 -
Afternoon ladies
Im in jammies early,took a shower and feel better it was in the mid 40s but windy today.. poor Miles wasn't himself today but I'll share a few pictures
As you can see i had the blanket over my lap and he just hunkers down with his birthday bear.. and then he was sitting on my lap
.5 -
Sue Yay for thirteen pounds gone! Good job!
Beth good luck with Cecil. Seems like two year olds just need lots of attention and repeat work on boundaries.
I had an exciting moment on the horse today. He hopped, but I didn't fall. Then he was a little fast, so I practiced slowing him down.
Time to go cook for my parents. They are having crab patties.
Annie in Delaware4 -
95951
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Just a quick pop in before bed.
Intentions for today:
♦️declutter writing space ✔️
♦️general chores✔️
♦️sort out groups hall rents✔️
♦️monthly meeting 2.30pm; pay rents ✔️
♦️solid habits✔️
Virtual (((hugs))) and 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 for all those those who need them.
🙋♀️ Miele failte to the newbies.
☘️ Terri
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Did Kari Anderson Step Workout for Beginners DVD then went to BK. They asked me to also slice tomatoes. I asked the Asst Mgr if she wanted me to do it all the time or just today. I told her it really doesn’t matter to me (tomatoes aren’t real time consuming) so now on Thursdays I’ll not only go in to peel and slice onions, but also to do a few pans of tomatoes. Soup kitchen tomorrow. Vince is going to take Loki to the vet tomorrow for routine bloodwork. After BK went to Dollar General and they had the water I need, then to Food Lion to get some of the tortillas on sale, then to another Food Lion to see if they have the soda Vince likes, then WalMart to see if they have the saltines we need (no, they don’t), then home. Talk about going around in a circle! That’s what I did.
Got a few spices at Dollar General for 25 cents. Poultry seasoning, ginger, and sage. Hey, at that price, why not? And these are large containers – 1.75 oz.
This lady at work was selling cookies for her child’s school, so I bought a box and also gave her a donation. What I didn’t realize is that for it to be a donation that we can take off our taxes, I needed to give her two checks – one for the cookies and another for the donation. Oh well….you’d think I would have known that by now. In retrospect, what I should have done is passed on the cookies but given her a donation instead.
Carol – a lizard in the house! I don’t think I’d be giving it any reason at all to stick around, I don’t care if it needs water or not. I don’t want/need it
Beth – when we trained the service dog and I would take it for a walk, I always had treats in my pocket to give him when he walked next to me. In front of me and he didn’t get any treats. He pretty soon learned.
Took the popcorn off all but one of the trees. Even Vince said to wait with that one. Think I’ll go for my walk in a bit. I got my steps in yesterday and will probably also today.
Kylia – I can just imagine how beautiful that scene with the deer was. Don’t worry, the colonoscopy isn’t all that bad. Now the prep is another story! Yes, doctors these days are very CYA. Which is really in some respects a shame.. You sound like a very good mentor
Sue WA – woo hoo for the weight loss and staying off the statin
Michele NC5 -
Stat for the day-
Walk w/family- 2hrs 13min 40sec, 115elev, 2.43ap, 98ahr, 121mhr, 6.05mi= 656c
Strava app= 741c
Lucy walked the full 6miles, no bleeding !
Steps so far 176525 -
I tucked DH a few minutes ago. He was tired. I hope he gets a good night’s sleep. It seems very early to me, but he is tucked in and happy to rest.
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Mary that article about your nephew’s company’s donation, now that’s news I’m happy to read!
Karen :brokenheart:
Oh pip. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. Accidents happen. ((hugs))
Betsy safe travels! What a blessing you are available to help.
Heather your focaccia has my mouth watering.
Rebecca yours to pip. Truth this.
Vicki
(hugs))
Annie do you have a cell phone number that your father could give for insurance paperwork etc? “..stronger and happier with myself” Yes!
Machka the “swirly designs” meme made me choke on my AF beer. Well done on the presentation. Enjoy your well-earned 5 days off.
Heather thanks for the https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/focaccia recipe. I’ll be following Lisa’s dough hook advice, not sure I have the upper body strength for 10 minutes of kneading. Used to get the absolute best focaccia in North Beach. Just a smidge of tomato paste in the olive oil topping, a few chopped scallions. I’d top it with hot pepper cheese and salami, and heat until the cheese melted. Man that was good!
Lanette, what you said about Amazon. Found 3 cans of air for $17.99 but when I clicked to add to my cart, the price went up $4. I reported it then found 6 cans for $34.40, a microscopically better deal. Didn’t Bezos’ momma ever teach him that cheaters never prosper? Just love Bob and Brad.
Through page 73 but time to “step away from the computer…”
Later, lighter, lovelies!
Barbara, the Southern Oregon Coastie AHMOD
2023: Be of good cheer.
January: Move more, fuel better, live NOW
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Good evening ladies!
I did my dumbbells Yay! And the extra bird dogs were just right to keep me just a little short of breath in between stretches.
My aunt and uncle came over for tea and brought cookies. I exercised enough that I was able to eat a few. Yay!
Meanwhile, I've been thinking about the next phase of my life, after I leave this house. I might move back to Virginia. Dumfries or Richmond or Blacksburg. Time to do some research/daydreaming.
Annie in Delaware5 -
96960
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Today we went shopping and I had about $140 to spend. The total was $87! Yay! It was only until payday so not a full weeks worth but hey. I did not splurge.
Our bagger at the commissary was my new friend, a Japanese lady. We traded names and phone numbers so its official! I told her maybe next month we can do a pilgrimage to the Ultra House, a ramen restaurant in Langley. She was game! I added her on FB and notice we share 2 friends already. One is the gal I just met and she had invited us over for Thanksgiving. Small world. Another is a gal that I saw on a Whidbey community page that noticed I had stated I used to live near Astoria, and she went to school there. Turns out her daughter is friends with the commissary gal in Girl Scouts. Man island life, gotta love it.
I chatted on a site I joined called geeky Whidbey chicks. One gal is having a tea party next month. That should be fun to attend. Proud of myself in putting myself out there.😁👍🏻
Well hair washing time!
Rebecca
Whidbey
WA
Today's ramen
Ingredients
It was heaven.
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Pip, Gosh, Girl, for an amazingly competent and thoughtful and well-intentioned person, you sure do beat up on yourself. $#IT happens. It’s not you.
Debbie, Those triplets...
With all this talk about whining and complaining, I’m a little hesitant to post this next bit, but will put it in a spoiler so people can zip right past it.So my son (only living biological child) sent me a text message just before Christmas that read:
"I know this is possibly a heavy thought, but sometime I'd like to learn more about what your reality was like around the time of his passing [meaning my father’s suicide] and around your and dad's divorce and what your reflections on those things have been like. If you're open to it, we can figure out a when and where that's comfortable for you. I feel like I don't understand these things aside from very limited childhood perspective and feel that I'm missing some important perspectives on how these things shaped our family and my personal trajectory. I hope that all makes sense.”
I replied that I would welcome such a discussion and looked forward to it.
----
So...
44 years ago, my ex-husband Rick had an affair that I just couldn’t forgive him for, and I knew it would be impossible to have a discussion with my son about the divorce without bringing that up. Or so I thought...
I asked Rick if we could talk about things beforehand, mostly as a courtesy, so he would be prepared for some fallout. We met Monday over pizza at his house. Needless to say, he was adamantly opposed to me disclosing the affair to our son, and he didn’t offer to "man up" and tell him himself. I told him it might be impossible for me to have the discussion with our son without disclosing it, because it was so integral to my decision to leave the marriage. He said he didn’t see what purpose it would serve, it would make our son furious at him, and he didn’t think it had much to do with why the marriage ended anyway.
(Bear with me here.)
I looked at him with a question on my face.
(We like and respect each other very much now, so instead of pi$$ing me off, he totally intrigued me with that last bit. He feels comfortable being to the point with me, and does not say things to pick fights in our matured relationship. We trust each other and are a team in many ways, so...)
He went on to say that whether or not I forgave him for the affair, he would have ended the marriage sooner or later, if I hadn’t. And he further emphasized it by saying that it never occurred to him whether I had forgiven him or not, because he wasn’t looking for forgiveness.
He told me about the affair to assuage his guilt, not to ask for forgiveness.
The affair was payback - I was attracted to my summer chemistry class lab partner Jim a couple of years prior, and although we did not act on the attraction, when Rick met Jim he could sense the tension. In Rick’s mind, I had committed adultery. So he paid me back a couple of years later by having an affair. Then he confessed to clear his conscience. Our son was only 1, I had no job, and I was completely dependent on Rick. We had only one car, and there were no easy walking paths or ways to get out of the house and go do things with our son. No swimming pool or playground. It just about killed me. That’s when we went to therapy. We had been married 6 years by then. The marriage, if you can call it that, lasted another 4 years.
Last Monday at lunch, Rick reminded me that he didn’t want to be married in the first place.
We have talked about this before, but this time the puzzle pieces finally all clicked together and I realized that NOTHING I did would have saved the marriage.
Crushing now to think of how hard I tried to save the marriage - when he was trying even harder to get me to end the marriage.
Rick’s draft number was 9. He called me up drunk and desperate at the age of 18 to propose, wanting me to marry him before he went off to die in Vietnam. I said “No” because he was drunk, but later when he was sober, we talked about it again and I said “Yes”.
He didn’t actually want to marry me once he had sobered up, but didn’t have the courage to say it. We were kind of crazy about each other, but so very young and with very little relationship experience. He thought since he had asked me to marry him he couldn’t change his mind. So young. He has such a doomed look on his face in our wedding photos. I should have seen it.
Despite his many stellar qualities, Rick is a self-admittedly selfish & intolerant person who, in his own words, should never be married. It isn’t that he is incapable of loving. But he wants to call all the shots, be left alone a good deal of the time, have a wife with no career (other than making his world right), and be treated lovingly without having to reciprocate (even if he feels tender). If he were to bare his soul to his wife, it would make him way too vulnerable, and he can’t tolerate that. He is a very bottled up sentimental fool who gets misty eyed on the rare occasions he allows himself to express deep caring about another person.
I love him still but I am very glad I am no longer married to him. He is a good friend, though, and a wonderful co-grandparent...and he even has his own relationship with my spouse. They have gone off together to explore local Civil War battlegrounds and talk about things I am not privy to.
All of this is by way of saying that Rick spent 10 years subconsciously sabotaging our marriage so I would end it. We saw a psychiatrist/psychotherapist who diagnosed Rick with Passive Aggressive Personality Disorder, and advised me I was neurotic. Both true. The Passive Aggressive bit shaped how Rick went about the relentless subconscious day-to-day undermining of our relationship.
Rick does not want to be the bad guy, so we spent 10 years of marriage with me trying to figure out how to make our marriage work, trying to make his world right, trying to forgive his affair, trying, trying, trying, and being frustrated at every turn. In my own defense, I was very young, but in retrospect I see that I was not listening to the subtext of Rick’s messages to me. (i.e.: “I don’t want to be married, I never wanted to be married, I feel trapped, I don’t want to be the bad guy, I will treat you badly until you finally end the marriage...and I will feel bad about making you be the bad guy, but I will sure as hell make sure you are the bad guy.” )
The huge lightbulb that went off for me is that forgiving Rick for the affair would have made no difference whatsoever in salvaging the marriage. Suddenly I could see that Rick is right about that - telling our son about the affair would only make him furious at his father and furious at me for tattling. The affair was not the cause of the divorce. The cause of the divorce was that Rick never wanted to me married, and sabotaged it until I finally called it quits, which is what he wanted. The pity of it is that I foolishly thought I could do something to make it work, make it right. What a fool I was.
I can’t tell you how freeing that conversation was. I suddenly realize that it truly wasn’t me - all these years I have puzzled about what I could have done differently - I was so angry and at times martyr-ish, withheld affection, gave the silent treatment, etc., and I have always thought I should have been a better wife and maybe we would still be married. Now I know that isn’t true. And I am free.
So I am not going to tell our son about the affair.
But I am going to tell him the truth.
I may even ask Rick to help me do it. Our son has blamed me for the divorce for 40 years, and I am so tired of it. He has been angry with me all this time, and has treated me poorly.
He is also angry at me for being in relationship with my current spouse, telling the grandchildren that she isn’t their grandmother, and her grandchildren are not their cousins. He wrote me a hurtful letter about my spouse that he has never apologized for. I mentioned it a couple of years ago, that it was still hurtful, and instead of apologizing, he just said “that was a long time ago”, and essentially said that it was my problem and I needed to let it go.
So do I have expectations? Nope. My son will probably find some reason to still blame me. Old habits die hard.
But I feel so much better. The clarity is startling.
Karen in Virginia
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LisaInArkansas wrote: »
Sorry to keep this going, but that was absolutely NOT a typo. Once the bread has completely come together and is pulled away from the sides of the bowl, you should knead it for ten minutes, either in the bowl of a stand mixer (which is what I was referring to), or by your hands. Without that, you won't develop any of the gluten, and it will be flat as a pancake.dlfk202000 wrote: »KetoneKaren wrote: »dlfk202000 wrote: »LisaInArkansas wrote: »Debbie,
question about "Let it knead in the bowl for ten minutes,"
So, do I knead it in the bowl then on the board or let it rest for ten minutes then put on the board?
I am very new to this(used to use my bread machine when I did make bread.)
I have my second batch of banana yeast rolls ready to go in the oven in 10 min.
I will try setting my pressure cooker on warm for five minutes before putting the dough in and turning it off when I do put the dough in it and let it just stay in it to rise until double in size. Having it on warm, it left a dryer spot on it, like it did yesterday when I made it(but I messed up and it was on warm for 20 min instead of 5)
The flavor is great, just want to keep practicing- DH says they remind him a little Hawaiian bread.
Think I might try a mango next time I have extras that are over ripe
It’s a typo. It should read “let it rest in the bowl for ten minutes"
THANK YOU Karen- I fixed it on my copy of the recipe.
lol sorry for sticking my nose into this1 -
Karen - Thank you so much for that beautiful post. It has helped me so much. Everyone has a different story to tell, a view of events that can be at a slant to ours, or even unrecognisable.
I am expecting a letter from my ex, where he puts forward how he feels about things. I've been anxious about it, but I have found the universe has come up with all kinds of help for me, including your post this morning.
I am glad you feel more at peace. It's often surprising to us to find that other people have minds of their own, even secret corridors and rooms, whole wings, to which we are not privy. We are not responsible for their feelings because they are coming from a wholly different place. All we can speak is our own truth, believe we are good inside, and that we did the best we could at the time. 'When you know better, you do better.'
Lots of love, Heather UK xxxxxxxx
PS And yes, Barbara, I did knead the dough with a dough hook. I have a beautiful KitchenAid.
PPS This morning I boiled an orange in the IP to make another whole orange cake. DH was so sad that I gave away the first one (gluten free) to the family, as a welcome gift, and didn't get to sample it, that I'm making him another one.
Not gluten free. 3 -
Friday --
Beautiful day with temps between about 20 and 22C and a bit of wind about, increasing throughout the day.
Shortly after 11 am, my husband and I set off on a bicycle ride with no time limits. Most of our longer rides have been Audax rides and therefore have a time limit. This one was not an Audax ride ... it was just a ride to see what we could do if we had no time limits and no need to rush.
We flew! For us, that is. We sat on 20 km/h for the first 40 km which is quite a brisk pace ... for us. However we were assisted by a tail wind.
Just after 40 km, we arrived in the town we were aiming for and had lunch and a pretty decent break.
Then we headed back, meandering here and there. The wind was a challenging factor on the way back at times, but with no time limits, we kept moving and stopped now and then for a rest.
We had about 10 km to reach our goal when we arrived back at our start location, so we rode up and down roads until we got there.
100 km!!
That's the first time we've done that distance since my husband's accident almost 5 years ago. And it's 27 km more than our previous longest distance since that accident.
It's quite an accomplishment for us!!
Machka in Oz
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