Minor rant
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am i supposed to gaf if you want my reply? did i imply that at some point? thanks for your "permission", but its not needed
OMG. Please keep posting. You're cracking me up.
Why so angry?
Best part is you are both trying to make the same point.....
yes, i was trying to make the same point... thats why her comment made no sense, but, whatever...
It's because you started your post with "actually". It gave a corrective tone to your post when, actually (swidt?), you meant the same thing. It came across as oddly argumentative.0 -
Think of it this way, dear. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Strange, isn't it, how the beholder tends to be a tad overcritical if the beholder is yourself? This woman, who saw you at 200 lbs and said you looked beautiful, obviously saw something you missed. This isn't to say you didn't still need to lose the weight. That's only to say she saw something beautiful in you. Isn't that wonderful? My sister and I do this exact same thing to ourselves, so what we do is, whenever we happen to pass a mirror and the thought, "who is that ugly person?" crosses our minds, we will back up and look again until we find at least one beautiful thing about the face looking back at us. Personally, and not meaning to boast here, I'm fond of my eyes and my smile. I think they are what makes my face beautiful, even at 300+ pounds. They will still be what makes me beautiful when I reach my goal weight. So, I challenge you. Drag out that picture again when you have a private moment and look at it. What is there about that person that's beautiful, even if she's overweight? There must be something.
Also, and this is just a suggestion, go to that coworker who said you were beautiful at 200 lbs and thank her. People who see the beauty in others are so rare nowadays. It's a real sadness.
This. Well said and beautiful too.
Also, I think it is important at this point in this thread to remember that women are beautiful at all shapes and sizes and should never be made to feel they aren't or that they need more work before they can be called beautiful. We should be celebrating accomplishments and congratulating each other on how far we've come, not what we could be when we finally hit goal weight.
And someone can still be fit even though they still have weight to lose. "Fit" is not an end destination, it's a journey with a constantly moving finish line. A 200 lb girl can still be strong and tough and beautiful and able to run half marathons and lift heavy and keep up. It sounds to me like your coworker was just recognizing that in you. That you were always beautiful, not just now that you've lost all the weight.
Thanks to both of you for that. :flowerforyou:0 -
Weight loss can make you look older - facially. It happens to me, and looking at your pics it has that effect on you as well.
*facepalm*
No kidding. Things that people say to each other on the Internet they would never say to each other in real life.
This really bothers you? Not the intent at all. I'm sorry.0 -
Well I had JUST posted something in regards of "damned if you do, damned if you don't."
Woman's bodies are always under a microscope not just by the media, but other people. If I feel good about my body, now I have to worry about face.
If my face looks good, now I have to worry about my body.
Physically I feel good right now (read strong and full of energy), so that's what I'm guaging my health on.
Not if I have a few wrinkles.0 -
I had to go back and look to make sure I quoted who I thought I'd quoted before I even responded.am i supposed to gaf if you want my reply? did i imply that at some point? thanks for your "permission", but its not needed
OMG. Please keep posting. You're cracking me up.
Why so angry?
Best part is you are both trying to make the same point.....
yes, i was trying to make the same point... thats why her comment made no sense, but, whatever...
It's because you started your post with "actually". It gave a corrective tone to your post when, actually (swidt?), you meant the same thing. It came across as oddly argumentative.0 -
possibly she is jealous of you after all, it sounds like it- and you being new there, she might not have felt she had any competition for attractiveness at the office before you came and now she is not comfortable with it- also she may constantly strive to get thinner and not succeed and thus feel threatened by you? at any rate, what matters is how your health is, so ignore her0
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Best part is you are both trying to make the same point.....
[/quote]
Both saying the same thing...
...except one interjected awkwardly and is doing it much more angrily than the other.
This thread continues to deliver.
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Yep...
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Is that car from Krypton?
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Most van trailers are little more than tin and sheet of plywood. So its about as sturdy as the grasp on logic as a few of the people posting in this thread :ohwell:0 -
I had to go back and look to make sure I quoted who I thought I'd quoted before I even responded.am i supposed to gaf if you want my reply? did i imply that at some point? thanks for your "permission", but its not needed
OMG. Please keep posting. You're cracking me up.
Why so angry?
Best part is you are both trying to make the same point.....
yes, i was trying to make the same point... thats why her comment made no sense, but, whatever...
It's because you started your post with "actually". It gave a corrective tone to your post when, actually (swidt?), you meant the same thing. It came across as oddly argumentative.
I scrolled back to check too, because it seemed weird that she was arguing with you when A) you weren't talking to her and
you were essentially making the same point. 0 -
possibly she is jealous of you after all, it sounds like it- and you being new there, she might not have felt she had any competition for attractiveness at the office before you came and now she is not comfortable with it- also she may constantly strive to get thinner and not succeed and thus feel threatened by you? at any rate, what matters is how your health is, so ignore her
We have plenty of vibrant, beautiful women in my office. I've made the decision to forgive and forget. She's otherwise a very nice person and I get along with her very well. At this point, it's not worth worrying about, regardless of where that remark came from.
I'm just focusing on the positive in my life. Hubby and I just moved into this awesome little house, and are having a ball furnishing it. My marriage is great, so I'm focusing on that - stuff that really matters.0 -
Well, this was entertaining!
OP - you are beautiful and all that matters is that you are happy with yourself at the end of the day.0 -
Unless she's 6'-plus and very muscular.Some people do look better with a tiny bit of excess weight, but not 200lbs. No one looks better at 200lbs than they do your size!
There are PLENTY of men who look damn fine at 200lbs.
Men are different from women. 200 is a fine weight for men, not for women.
Women don't look good "very muscular"
Plus, women don't have the hormones to bulk up(like men). The 200lb gook looking men are very bulky.
Awesome body shaming there. :noway:
That's your opinion and it's rude.
You think women look good with 18 inch arms?
I have 157 lbs of lean muscle mass at 5 ft 9" and my current goal weight is 200lbs which would put me at 25% body fat. And I'm going to look terrible? I believe you think tiny is the only size that looks good on women. Good for you...people are beautiful and strong who, when confident, can look AMAZING regardless. That's right, confidence is attractive, who gives a rats *kitten* what they weigh, how much muscle they have, etc?
PS - 18" arms are amazing on a woman who uses those arms to comfort a child, bring home the bacon, mow the lawn, do the dishes or lift weights, whatever she chooses to do.
Cool it.
OP - you're gorgeous if you think you are - opinions are opinions, you have yours and dismiss those that don't fit your goals or dreams as long as you're healthy.0 -
Holy crap.
I have only got through 2 pages so far...and my thoughts exactly.0 -
possibly she is jealous of you after all, it sounds like it- and you being new there, she might not have felt she had any competition for attractiveness at the office before you came and now she is not comfortable with it- also she may constantly strive to get thinner and not succeed and thus feel threatened by you? at any rate, what matters is how your health is, so ignore her
Or maybe she genuinely thinks the OP looked beautiful while heavier.
A lot of you seem happy to assume cattiness in women when no evidence of catty behavior is given, and that kind of disturbs me. Why is it so much easier to believe in jealousy or that other people feel threatened/inadequate over simple honesty? it's like all those "i lost weight and I feel like my husband isn't interested anymore!!!" Posts, where people hurry to say the husband is insecure and worried his newly slim wife will leave. Or maybe he met and married her when she was heavier and that's what he likes? No? He must be insecure and jealous and SABOTAGE!
I have some theories (mostly relating to that some believe that thin is best and the idea that other people think differently blows their minds) but I'd love to have it explained from someone who thinks that way.
Also, in regards to women at heavier weights, I'm 5'3" and I weigh...a bit. Even my goal is above the OP's current weight and, when I get to said goal, I intend to bulk to gain muscle and thus put on more weight. On purpose. And just as I look great now I'll look great then. Dealwithit.gif0 -
This.possibly she is jealous of you after all, it sounds like it- and you being new there, she might not have felt she had any competition for attractiveness at the office before you came and now she is not comfortable with it- also she may constantly strive to get thinner and not succeed and thus feel threatened by you? at any rate, what matters is how your health is, so ignore her
Or maybe she genuinely thinks the OP looked beautiful while heavier.
A lot of you seem happy to assume cattiness in women when no evidence of catty behavior is given, and that kind of disturbs me. Why is it so much easier to believe in jealousy or that other people feel threatened/inadequate over simple honesty? it's like all those "i lost weight and I feel like my husband isn't interested anymore!!!" Posts, where people hurry to say the husband is insecure and worried his newly slim wife will leave. Or maybe he met and married her when she was heavier and that's what he likes? No? He must be insecure and jealous and SABOTAGE!
I have some theories (mostly relating to that some believe that thin is best and the idea that other people think differently blows their minds) but I'd love to have it explained from someone who thinks that way.
Also, in regards to women at heavier weights, I'm 5'3" and I weigh...a bit. Even my goal is above the OP's current weight and, when I get to said goal, I intend to bulk to gain muscle and thus put on more weight. On purpose. And just as I look great now I'll look great then. Dealwithit.gif
Gotta love the "someone didn't intend something meanly but she is wrong for thinking whatever 'cause we don't know what she thought and she can go F herself and its ok to say intentionally mean things about her" attitude, even though OP realizes she's a decent person.0 -
possibly she is jealous of you after all, it sounds like it- and you being new there, she might not have felt she had any competition for attractiveness at the office before you came and now she is not comfortable with it- also she may constantly strive to get thinner and not succeed and thus feel threatened by you? at any rate, what matters is how your health is, so ignore her
Or maybe she genuinely thinks the OP looked beautiful while heavier.
A lot of you seem happy to assume cattiness in women when no evidence of catty behavior is given, and that kind of disturbs me. Why is it so much easier to believe in jealousy or that other people feel threatened/inadequate over simple honesty? it's like all those "i lost weight and I feel like my husband isn't interested anymore!!!" Posts, where people hurry to say the husband is insecure and worried his newly slim wife will leave. Or maybe he met and married her when she was heavier and that's what he likes? No? He must be insecure and jealous and SABOTAGE!
I have some theories (mostly relating to that some believe that thin is best and the idea that other people think differently blows their minds) but I'd love to have it explained from someone who thinks that way.
Also, in regards to women at heavier weights, I'm 5'3" and I weigh...a bit. Even my goal is above the OP's current weight and, when I get to said goal, I intend to bulk to gain muscle and thus put on more weight. On purpose. And just as I look great now I'll look great then. Dealwithit.gif
Yeah I don't have any reason to believe my coworker was being catty at all - I can *usually* tell the difference. People have different ideas of what beauty is, and that's okay. I think she just had a case of no mouth filter at the moment.
Culturally though, I'm still under the belief that it's rude to tell somebody that you are not their idea of beautiful, or that you think that they are ugly, or to point out a physical flaw, even if it's true. It's very impolite.0 -
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First, "very muscular" to me is when they use outside help to bulk up like men. Second, I don't like my body type. I gain weight too easily, it sucks. I am jealous of toned women, but I'm not angry. More like they are my motivation?
Still doesn't make it ok to body shame. :noway:
Pretty sure I was only referring to women inject themselves, not women who lift weight. I'm lifting weights myself try to build muscle.0 -
First, "very muscular" to me is when they use outside help to bulk up like men. Second, I don't like my body type. I gain weight too easily, it sucks. I am jealous of toned women, but I'm not angry. More like they are my motivation?
Still doesn't make it ok to body shame. :noway:
Pretty sure I was only referring to women inject themselves, not women who lift weight. I'm lifting weights myself try to build muscle.
STILL NOT OK
How do you not get this - it is never ok to body shame. :noway:0 -
First, "very muscular" to me is when they use outside help to bulk up like men. Second, I don't like my body type. I gain weight too easily, it sucks. I am jealous of toned women, but I'm not angry. More like they are my motivation?
Still doesn't make it ok to body shame. :noway:
Pretty sure I was only referring to women inject themselves, not women who lift weight. I'm lifting weights myself try to build muscle.
you also said 200 pounds was not fine for a woman.
what weight is acceptable to you?0 -
possibly she is jealous of you after all, it sounds like it- and you being new there, she might not have felt she had any competition for attractiveness at the office before you came and now she is not comfortable with it- also she may constantly strive to get thinner and not succeed and thus feel threatened by you? at any rate, what matters is how your health is, so ignore her
Or maybe she genuinely thinks the OP looked beautiful while heavier.
A lot of you seem happy to assume cattiness in women when no evidence of catty behavior is given, and that kind of disturbs me. Why is it so much easier to believe in jealousy or that other people feel threatened/inadequate over simple honesty? it's like all those "i lost weight and I feel like my husband isn't interested anymore!!!" Posts, where people hurry to say the husband is insecure and worried his newly slim wife will leave. Or maybe he met and married her when she was heavier and that's what he likes? No? He must be insecure and jealous and SABOTAGE!
I have some theories (mostly relating to that some believe that thin is best and the idea that other people think differently blows their minds) but I'd love to have it explained from someone who thinks that way.
Also, in regards to women at heavier weights, I'm 5'3" and I weigh...a bit. Even my goal is above the OP's current weight and, when I get to said goal, I intend to bulk to gain muscle and thus put on more weight. On purpose. And just as I look great now I'll look great then. Dealwithit.gif
Yeah I don't have any reason to believe my coworker was being catty at all - I can *usually* tell the difference. People have different ideas of what beauty is, and that's okay. I think she just had a case of no mouth filter at the moment.
Culturally though, I'm still under the belief that it's rude to tell somebody that you are not their idea of beautiful, or that you think that they are ugly, or to point out a physical flaw, even if it's true. It's very impolite.
She didn't say any of those things to you, she just said you looked better then. That is no way means you aren't beautiful now.0
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