Would you date someone overweight?

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  • lj5109
    lj5109 Posts: 81 Member
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    My wife has been overweight to varying degrees her whole life. I think she's beautiful and never thought twice.

    Person > Waist size

    He's a keeper! I thought this was really cute
  • Crateria_
    Crateria_ Posts: 253 Member
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    Yes. I do date someone overweight.

    He's an incredible human being and makes me feel like the luckiest girl alive every single day.
  • pmcclen2
    pmcclen2 Posts: 1 Member
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    Being that I am a plus sized girl with a lot to offer in the dating realm, I don't think my weight is an issue or another person's weight is an issue when it comes down to dating. However, if it becomes a hindrance to fully enjoying that person, then some things need to be changed. Doesn't mean we would have to stop dating...we'd just need to change it up a bit! Instead of date night dinner and a movie, how about a movie and hitting the treadmill..together? Works for me.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    whenever chicks start saying they care about "personality" and "conversation' it just makes me LOL because it is the biggest load of BS ever….

    For some women (and men), it quite possibly is a load of BS, However, if it is a mature person instead of someone looking for eye candy and a good time in bed, conversation is a definite plus. As is personality. I'm pretty sure when I am 80, wrinkled and saggy no one will be looking at me and thinking, "Hey, what a hottie!" SO...that being said...if you are looking for long term...you better be building it on something other than someone's 6 pack abs, and nice booty. ;)


    Why not both? Why can't I seek a nice abs and a great personality? Why is there this implication that they're mutually exclusive?

    I mean, holy crap, I married a man who meet my standards of attractiveness, is great in bed, and (AGAINST ALL ODDS) is also smart, funny, sweet, kind, and compliments me perfectly. I didn't have to settle in one area to find someone great in others, so why is everyone on this "Well who cares what they look like, unless you're immature, how they act is blahblahblha!" kick?

    It is all important. All of it. That's not immature, that's being unwilling to settle for a person I don't find attractive just because they're 'nice'. Like. Eww. What is this strange sad culture of settling for less than what you really want all about?
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,677 Member
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    I'm about to marry someone who is obese.

    Because he's sexy, sweet, smart, funny, loving, and perfect for me.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
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    I don't think I could. But I don't know. I guess if I met the right guy, maybe.
  • Sunbrooke
    Sunbrooke Posts: 632 Member
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    ad7tVmg.jpg


    So true. Funny because one is more controllable than the other... I said "more" .

    And yes, there is an error in that image.
    Yep my bad, accidentally put an extra s in loses. Still stand by the premise of the meme though, in the sense I have seen numerous threads that go on for countless pages where people state that height is the given deal breaker, particularly if the male is shorter than the female.

    OP on this thread simply asks the question "Would you date someone overweight? why or why not?" and for the few that answered no quite a few people were all to ready to jump all down their throats. Now given that who you would date is highly subjective and based on personal preference I don't see why people got so upset with these individuals unless they wanted to date the people that stated no.

    I guess when you post a question like this on a site where a large percentage of the members are trying to lose weight there are bound to be some knee jerk reactions and hurt feelings.

    BTW: I was not one of the nos I had written a different response before I posted the poorly spelled meme.

    ETA: In case anyone is curious I am not short, just find it amusing how height which is a physical attribute is an acceptable reason not to date someone but if you mention weight which is also a physical attribute people tend to get well a little more passionate.

    This is really interesting. People can't control how tall they are, but it does seem more acceptable to have height ranges in dating than weight ranges (so to speak). I have also noticed that a lot of black guys will just ask a white girl, "so do you date black guys?" right away. They don't get upset, if a girl doesn't; they just don't want to waste their time if she says "no". Why is it that the more controlable things, like weight and income, are the most controversial?
  • sarahmichel101
    sarahmichel101 Posts: 158 Member
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    I would, but there is more that I want to say.

    First, to all those saying that they need to be physically attracted to a guy to even get to know them....have you even went to college, joined a group, or maybe even have friends? Physical attraction to the point that you are drawn into wanted to f**k a guy is generally only a bar thing. There are other ways to meet people and get to know them. I know I have found myself physically attracted to someone after getting to know them.

    Second, there is a big difference between overweight and morbidly obese. Overweight can simply be the difference of ten pounds. These people (and even the obese people) can be active, wonderful, and fun. Why miss the opportunity by being close minded? Although yes, it is a difference when a person is inactive, obese and not interested in living life to the fullest.

    Third, make an investment in the future! If you find someone you love that's over weight, put the effort into encouraging a healthy active lifestyle to share together. It will not only make life better, but it will make it last longer.
  • Nomes85
    Nomes85 Posts: 5 Member
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    I am over weight, and have not dated in some years. I'm 28 and sometimes I really struggle with the emotions associated with being alone and being overweight. I am 107kg and at my biggest was156kg. I like guys that are smart and fit, having respect for his body is really important to me, and I've come to the collusion that this is where the conflict is for me.

    If I want to be with a guy that is fit and gealthy I also need to be fit and healthy. Not that I've ever really been unhealthy, but certainly to unite with the sit part of guy I want to be with I feel I need to be able to keep up.

    Say all we want about loving people for who they are, not how they look, at the end of the day we are what we eat and what we do and soda guzzling junk food addicts arnt my thing.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    I did, and the sex was great but going out was not so good

    Jealous. I had the opposite experience, which ultimately ended both of my long term relationships. I can go all night, so overweight or not thats something I need in a man.

    All night? Who has the time?

    If someone doesn't have the time to do that at least once and awhile I won't be happy haha.

    I have a job. I need at least some sleep.

    I do too? Well I guess we won't be dating anytime soon. Also no need to talk down :). Everyone has different likes.

    I wasn't talking down to you. :huh:
  • TheFisherKing
    TheFisherKing Posts: 935
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    It would be hypocritical not to. Actually I PREFER women with curves and usually they are of ample stock.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    As a former super heavy guy and as an overweight guy (10 lbs to go!) i think would be wrong reject someone by his weight.
    Now, i like women of all shapes, but never to the extremes, So i would date someone overweight as far she is, smart, confident, funny and tender (haha thats a plus for me) :D

    I don't think it is wrong to reject someone based on...well anything.
  • olivetree_
    olivetree_ Posts: 75 Member
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    Absolutely I would!!! It's not all about physical attraction! Would I date someone who never liked doing anything and always ate unhealthy? Probably not. But someone who is overweight who would be willing to make a change and get fit with me? Absolutely, as long as he is kind and we make each other happy.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    I would, but there is more that I want to say.

    First, to all those saying that they need to be physically attracted to a guy to even get to know them....have you even went to college, joined a group, or maybe even have friends? Physical attraction to the point that you are drawn into wanted to f**k a guy is generally only a bar thing. There are other ways to meet people and get to know them. I know I have found myself physically attracted to someone after getting to know them.


    Oh. I've been doing this whole attraction thing all wrong then; I met my husband through friends and I knew the minute I saw him what exactly I wanted to do to him. (I don't think we've ever even been to a bar together) By contrast I've met plenty of perfectly nice men who I can hang out with, spend time with, and be friends with...but none of them were ever going to be dating material, because they weren't attractive (to me).

    I'm interested in this magical attractiveness you speak of. Do you just get so used to seeing them that the way they look ceases to register or what? Genuine question.



    Edit: I don't date short guys either.
  • lj5109
    lj5109 Posts: 81 Member
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    I am over weight, and have not dated in some years. I'm 28 and sometimes I really struggle with the emotions associated with being alone and being overweight. I am 107kg and at my biggest I was156kg. I like guys that are smart and fit, having respect for his body is really important to me, and I've come to the collusion that this is where the conflict is for me.

    If I want to be with a guy that is fit and healthy I also need to be fit and healthy. Not that I've ever really been unhealthy, but certainly to unite with the sit part of guy I want to be with I feel I need to be able to keep up.

    Say all we want about loving people for who they are, not how they look, at the end of the day we are what we eat and what we do and soda guzzling junk food addicts aren't my thing.

    I can relate. I have found myself going for more athletic/fit guys or guys a little on the bigger side but very active. I find a guy who really respects his body to be an attractive quality and I realize that if I want a life with someone like that I have to be willing to live that same kind of lifestyle. I don't think I could be with anyone who doesn't think about what they put into their body or doesn't enjoy physical activity, regardless of size. Even if a guy wasn't overweight, but he ate whatever he wanted and didn't enjoy working out, we'd have problems. I want someone who will do those things with me and lets be honest--if he can sit on the couch and eat cheetos and not gain weight, all I am going to be is frustrated and jealous.
  • GreatGreenSea
    GreatGreenSea Posts: 47 Member
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    Yep. My husband was chubby when we met, and has gained some weight. I love him the same and am attracted to him. Before him I'd dated guys who ranged from lean to very skinny, and I prefer my husband's body type over all of them.
  • wheird
    wheird Posts: 7,963 Member
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    I would, but there is more that I want to say.

    First, to all those saying that they need to be physically attracted to a guy to even get to know them....have you even went to college, joined a group, or maybe even have friends? Physical attraction to the point that you are drawn into wanted to f**k a guy is generally only a bar thing. There are other ways to meet people and get to know them. I know I have found myself physically attracted to someone after getting to know them.


    Oh. I've been doing this whole attraction thing all wrong then; I met my husband through friends and I knew the minute I saw him what exactly I wanted to do to him. (I don't think we've ever even been to a bar together) By contrast I've met plenty of perfectly nice men who I can hang out with, spend time with, and be friends with...but none of them were ever going to be dating material, because they weren't attractive (to me).

    I'm interested in this magical attractiveness you speak of. Do you just get so used to seeing them that the way they look ceases to register or what? Genuine question.



    Edit: I don't date short guys either.

    Hey girl, I'm tall and chubby. Coin flip?
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
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    whenever chicks start saying they care about "personality" and "conversation' it just makes me LOL because it is the biggest load of BS ever….

    For some women (and men), it quite possibly is a load of BS, However, if it is a mature person instead of someone looking for eye candy and a good time in bed, conversation is a definite plus. As is personality. I'm pretty sure when I am 80, wrinkled and saggy no one will be looking at me and thinking, "Hey, what a hottie!" SO...that being said...if you are looking for long term...you better be building it on something other than someone's 6 pack abs, and nice booty. ;)


    Why not both? Why can't I seek a nice abs and a great personality? Why is there this implication that they're mutually exclusive?

    I mean, holy crap, I married a man who meet my standards of attractiveness, is great in bed, and (AGAINST ALL ODDS) is also smart, funny, sweet, kind, and compliments me perfectly. I didn't have to settle in one area to find someone great in others, so why is everyone on this "Well who cares what they look like, unless you're immature, how they act is blahblahblha!" kick?

    It is all important. All of it. That's not immature, that's being unwilling to settle for a person I don't find attractive just because they're 'nice'. Like. Eww. What is this strange sad culture of settling for less than what you really want all about?

    Perfect answer. There seems to be a stereotype being perpetuated here that overweight people have good hearts and personalities and fit people are A-holes. You have to pick one or the other - personality or physical attractiveness. It's just not true AT ALL. There are jerks and awesome people in ALL sizes. No reason to settle for anything less than the whole package in my opinion...My husband is the whole package and he thinks I am, too. :heart:

    *edited typo
  • sarahmichel101
    sarahmichel101 Posts: 158 Member
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    I would, but there is more that I want to say.

    First, to all those saying that they need to be physically attracted to a guy to even get to know them....have you even went to college, joined a group, or maybe even have friends? Physical attraction to the point that you are drawn into wanted to f**k a guy is generally only a bar thing. There are other ways to meet people and get to know them. I know I have found myself physically attracted to someone after getting to know them.



    Oh. I've been doing this whole attraction thing all wrong then; I met my husband through friends and I knew the minute I saw him what exactly I wanted to do to him. (I don't think we've ever even been to a bar together) By contrast I've met plenty of perfectly nice men who I can hang out with, spend time with, and be friends with...but none of them were ever going to be dating material, because they weren't attractive (to me).

    I'm interested in this magical attractiveness you speak of. Do you just get so used to seeing them that the way they look ceases to register or what? Genuine question.



    Edit: I don't date short guys either.


    You've never gotten to know someone and find them more attractive because of who they are? You're no more attracted to your husband now than when you met him? Walrus to mermaid does happen, and to an extent I find in every relationship it happens. The more knowledge, respect, experiences, commonalities, conversations ect. that you have with someone the more desirable they are.
  • raven_ous
    raven_ous Posts: 223
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    I would, but there is more that I want to say.

    First, to all those saying that they need to be physically attracted to a guy to even get to know them....have you even went to college, joined a group, or maybe even have friends? Physical attraction to the point that you are drawn into wanted to f**k a guy is generally only a bar thing. There are other ways to meet people and get to know them. I know I have found myself physically attracted to someone after getting to know them.


    Oh. I've been doing this whole attraction thing all wrong then; I met my husband through friends and I knew the minute I saw him what exactly I wanted to do to him. (I don't think we've ever even been to a bar together) By contrast I've met plenty of perfectly nice men who I can hang out with, spend time with, and be friends with...but none of them were ever going to be dating material, because they weren't attractive (to me).

    I'm interested in this magical attractiveness you speak of. Do you just get so used to seeing them that the way they look ceases to register or what? Genuine question.



    Edit: I don't date short guys either.

    Hey girl, I'm tall and chubby. Coin flip?
    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

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