Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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I can't help judging a bit when I see pictures of overweight kids. And feeling so sad for them... what a harsh start in life to be made such an easy target for bullying.0
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smashley_mashley wrote: »Confession: I don't count the calories I eat when I eat the samples at Costco.
Confession 2: Sometimes I go to Costco just for the samples.
I was running errands the other day and went to Costco to feed my son samples for lunch. Yeah...
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orangesmartie wrote: »I binged really badly over the weekend, to the point i can;t even remember all that i ate. Feeling totally disgusted.
Also, want to sign up for the midnight walk up Ben Nevis (UK's highest mountain) but worried i'm not fit enough, and I won't get fit enough in 13 weeks.
Omg I ate so much last night. So so so much. But whatever. We can eat better all week this week, do your best to train, sign up for that Ben Nevis walk and kick it's butt. You will never know how amazing you, your body, and your mind are unless you try.0 -
smashley_mashley wrote: »Confession: I don't count the calories I eat when I eat the samples at Costco.
Confession 2: Sometimes I go to Costco just for the samples.
I was running errands the other day and went to Costco to feed my son samples for lunch. Yeah...
I've used the samples at Wegmans as snacks for the kids on week ends, lol.
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I drank two bottles of wine Friday on my cheat day.... and woke up fine?0
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smashley_mashley wrote: »Confession: I don't count the calories I eat when I eat the samples at Costco.
Confession 2: Sometimes I go to Costco just for the samples.
I was running errands the other day and went to Costco to feed my son samples for lunch. Yeah...
I've used the samples at Wegmans as snacks for the kids on week ends, lol.
Me too! There's always like 5 or 6 stations so it's perfect.0 -
Confession: I really was trying to resist my cup of Joe this morning but caved. I had to steal someone's creamer out of the fridge because I ran out of my flavored coffee and hadn't replaced it on the account that I wasn't going to have a cup. I didn't take it all - just a splash...0
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Italian_Buju wrote: »Alatariel75 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »
Definitely this. For various reasons I've always felt the odd one out and that friendships I have made have faded/been cut off. Not only does this mean it's more difficult to make friends - the more I put in the harder it will hurt when it ends - it also means I've grown pretty independent. I go on holiday alone, go to gigs alone, go to the cinema alone, go on excursions to art galleries/hiking/museums/new places alone. Sometimes I like it - I can do what I want... but I do feel ALONE.
I have a bunch of great, great friends (not trying to rub it in or anything) and I still like to go and do things on my own. Not having to consider "will everyone be able to eat something at this restaurant?" Or "if i invite my homies will i get stuck paying for their broke butts?" do great things for my psyche. Besides I really like being by myself. I am plotting on a one person vacation to Arizona, and am notorious for seeing movies by myself with a 40 stashed in my purse. I go to bars alone and read books while sipping martinis. More power to you for not depending on others to have some fun. Every person that is capable of being on their own will eventually make a great companion because you know who YOU are and what YOU want.
I totally agree. When I used to go to bars, I would go on my own sometimes, I mean, you always meet people there anyway. And one of my favorite things now is to go to the movies on my own. Sometimes I won't even tell anyone I plan to see something to avoid someone wanting to come lol. I travel all day on my own at least one of my two days off, just doing my own thing! I even will go for lunch at a nice restaurant on my own, read a book or whatever.....I love it!
Confession: Sometimes when I just can't stand being at work for one minute longer I'll tell them I'm "sick" and I'll leave to go to a movie. There are no lines and usually only one or two other people in the theatre.
I feel a little guilty but then I stuff my face with popcorn and I feel better.
On my day off I will go to the earliest show there is, like 3 or 4pm. Usually only a few other people there, I can sit with nobody at all around me, which means I can spread out, put my feet up on the chair in front of me, and even text a few times without bothering anyone.....I stay away when it is busy times, I will not go at peak times at all, because I do not want anyone sitting too close to me
I can't sit next to a stranger at the movies. If I'm with 2 other people, I must sit in the middle (I don't care if the other 2 are a couple!) or I must sit on the aisle. It's all from an episode of America's Most Wanted I saw when I was about 8 where some loon sat next to a girl at the movies, then 20 minutes into the movie, 'spilled' his 'drink' on her lap and it was acid. Totally scared the hell out of me and it's been a whacky phobia ever since.
Holy crap! That is scary!! I do not like anyone sitting in the seats right beside me, I like an empty seat on each side. Unless I am there with my SO, which only happens once or twice a year cuz he mostly pays to sleep there lol. Even with friends, one seat between us at all times!
I was at a theater once - it was the cheap theater that plays the movies that are already out on DVD so you only pay $2.. There were about 10 people in the theatre so lots of place to sit without having to sit next to someone. One couple decided to sit right next to me & hubby with one chair beside us. The guy then decided that wasn't a good seat and sat right beside me. I was so creeped out and annoyed that both of us moved to another seat where no one can sit beside me.
It also annoys me to no end when I'm in a public bathroom and all the stalls are empty and someone has to go right beside me. I don't get it. give me a little pee space!0 -
I love chocolate and I love chips (fries to most of you)! Once when at the seaside (Blackpool) I ordered a cone of chips and smothered them in salt, vinegar and HP (brown?) sauce. The guy on the counter looked at me weirdly as I did so and only when I'd walked away and eaten the first one did I realise it was chocolate sauce (they sold My Whippy too!). I just carried on eating as if it was intended but they were gross!0
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I can't help judging a bit when I see pictures of overweight kids. And feeling so sad for them... what a harsh start in life to be made such an easy target for bullying.
I understand but I wouldn't say "judge" the kid. I feel bad b/c it is so hard to lose the weight and learn on your own how to correct the behaviors you grew up learning. I definitely judge the parents though. How can they do that to their kid? (but then I see them in the grocery store buying sugary cereals, salty snacks, pre-packaged food, and not one fresh veg or fruit).0 -
ladybuggnorris wrote: »fellowtraveler87 wrote: »confession:
(and this ties in to the past 2 or 3 topics in this thread somehow)
I used to be pretty judgmental of people with mental health issues. I'd dismiss it as weakness or attention seeking. Then about 2 years ago I started having panic attacks and anxiety. Fought it for a long time, tried to "fix" it on my own, nothing worked. Finally got help. Very humbling experience to say the least.
Was also drinking quite heavily during this time. Knocking on the door of full-blown alcoholism. I think the anxiety and panic attacks were correlated to the drinking but I'm not which came first. Anyway after getting help the desire to drink really dropped off. Every once in a while I want to have a casual drink like everyone else but I don't trust myself. It might be fine, or I might spiral out of control and right now I'm not willing to take that risk. Drinking heavily, at least for me, was symptomatic of deeper issues I had been harboring.
It all stems back to childhood I really believe that now. I didn't have that bad of childhood but for one aspect and it had a drastic effect on me without my realizing it until recently. I'll confess more on that later don't have the time now...
Oh, and I used to be one of those who thought about sex constantly but after seeking help they put me on an anti-depressant (one more thing I used to not "believe in" doing until it effected me). It has really helped me a lot, but one side effect is it has pretty much killed my libido. I don't necessarily mind it and in fact find it strangely liberating. I can focus my thoughts on more productive things and feel more in control of my mind and body.
Not a confession, but I highly recommend the book "Always the fat kid" - felt like I was reading my own biography and it really helped me understand myself.
I am so happy you got help! Through being overweight my whole life and bullied, I was still ALWAYS very mentally stable. (Arrogance runs in my family!) After I had my second child, I became a completely different person. I was angry ALL THE TIME. I treated my three year old son sooo bad. One day, when the baby was about 6 months old, I raged out on my 3yo to the point that I physically hurt him. I immediately lock myself in the bathroom and called my husband to come home from work. That very day, we went to our GP, who diagnosed me with severe post-partum depression, even though I was not sad, but angry. I took antidepressants and joined a post-partum support group and the change back to my old self was almost immediate. To this day, I still harbor so much guilt over hurting my son and I will NEVER forget the look in his eyes when it happened. It was a complete look of betrayal. I don't think he remembers it and I have never told anyone this story before. I am so glad this is a no judgement zone, because now that I have brought the memories back up, I feel about the worst human being ever.
When our third was born, I also had PPD, but we knew to watch for the signs and made sure to get on anti-depressants right away...my awesome husband also insisted that I get out at least once a week, for a couple of hours without the baby.
I had post-partum depression after my son was born. I used to fantasize, while driving down the road, about driving my car into a telephone pole. I would be holding the steering wheel in a death grip, trying not to swerve off the road. It was terrifying. I have never felt so out of control. Eighteen months of Paxil and I've never had any problems since. It was so weird. I'm glad my PPD didn't target my son, that must have been horrendous.0 -
So I was so busy reading this thread that I forgot I was filling up my 90 gallon aquarium and it overflowed. It's not actually funny at all, legit emergency and I have probably irrevocably ruined the wood floor underneath the stand Plus I'm worried now about weakening due to water damage.
Oh no! I hope everything is okay...That is scary.
Confession: I was at work one morning about a year ago and an ex of mine came into my work (he worked for a company who sent a tech out to work on one of our printers). I hadn't seen him in about 10 years. (Worst morning ever...) The last time he had seen me I was really skinny (and young). I was so ashamed and embarrassed to be as big as I was. He was a real jerk so I really wish I could have been better looking.
I don't think I'll see him again which is both good and bad. Good because I really don't like him but bad because I'm losing weight again and I want him to see how good I look again afterwards.
Thankfully, he looked old.
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smashley_mashley wrote: »I can't help judging a bit when I see pictures of overweight kids. And feeling so sad for them... what a harsh start in life to be made such an easy target for bullying.
I understand but I wouldn't say "judge" the kid. I feel bad b/c it is so hard to lose the weight and learn on your own how to correct the behaviors you grew up learning. I definitely judge the parents though. How can they do that to their kid? (but then I see them in the grocery store buying sugary cereals, salty snacks, pre-packaged food, and not one fresh veg or fruit).
This! It makes me so sad and angry at the parents. Then it makes me grateful the way my parents raised me- everything in moderation and plenty of milk, veggies, and fruits. I'm here now due to my own bad eating habits and ignoring my family's warnings of me putting on weight I hate getting older sometimes!0 -
Jazzybrass wrote: »I feel sympathy for so many of you but cannot show it.
I used to be so addicted to Diet coke that I would drink upwards of 2 litres per day and even more on a bad day. I only stopped when I had to go to the dentist (no issues- I was dared to) and was frightened of being told off. I had not been to the dentist for over 10 years before this and seemed to think that a few days of giving diet coke up would repair a lifetime of damage.
It has now been over two months since my last soft drink/soda! I am very proud of this and being able to work through the severe withdrawal pains. I now drink coffee and water but am in no way addicted to coffee.
Good for you! That habit is hard to break.
I was at the dentist last week and apparently soda (diet dr pepper) is destroying my teeth. Actually, he was super nice and had tips to lessen the effect if I still wanted to drink it but I'm weaning myself off pop now. I hope that I'm completely off soda soon. I'm addicted to caffeine so I'm switching to tea.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »ladybuggnorris wrote: »fellowtraveler87 wrote: »confession:
(and this ties in to the past 2 or 3 topics in this thread somehow)
I used to be pretty judgmental of people with mental health issues. I'd dismiss it as weakness or attention seeking. Then about 2 years ago I started having panic attacks and anxiety. Fought it for a long time, tried to "fix" it on my own, nothing worked. Finally got help. Very humbling experience to say the least.
Was also drinking quite heavily during this time. Knocking on the door of full-blown alcoholism. I think the anxiety and panic attacks were correlated to the drinking but I'm not which came first. Anyway after getting help the desire to drink really dropped off. Every once in a while I want to have a casual drink like everyone else but I don't trust myself. It might be fine, or I might spiral out of control and right now I'm not willing to take that risk. Drinking heavily, at least for me, was symptomatic of deeper issues I had been harboring.
It all stems back to childhood I really believe that now. I didn't have that bad of childhood but for one aspect and it had a drastic effect on me without my realizing it until recently. I'll confess more on that later don't have the time now...
Oh, and I used to be one of those who thought about sex constantly but after seeking help they put me on an anti-depressant (one more thing I used to not "believe in" doing until it effected me). It has really helped me a lot, but one side effect is it has pretty much killed my libido. I don't necessarily mind it and in fact find it strangely liberating. I can focus my thoughts on more productive things and feel more in control of my mind and body.
Not a confession, but I highly recommend the book "Always the fat kid" - felt like I was reading my own biography and it really helped me understand myself.
I am so happy you got help! Through being overweight my whole life and bullied, I was still ALWAYS very mentally stable. (Arrogance runs in my family!) After I had my second child, I became a completely different person. I was angry ALL THE TIME. I treated my three year old son sooo bad. One day, when the baby was about 6 months old, I raged out on my 3yo to the point that I physically hurt him. I immediately lock myself in the bathroom and called my husband to come home from work. That very day, we went to our GP, who diagnosed me with severe post-partum depression, even though I was not sad, but angry. I took antidepressants and joined a post-partum support group and the change back to my old self was almost immediate. To this day, I still harbor so much guilt over hurting my son and I will NEVER forget the look in his eyes when it happened. It was a complete look of betrayal. I don't think he remembers it and I have never told anyone this story before. I am so glad this is a no judgement zone, because now that I have brought the memories back up, I feel about the worst human being ever.
When our third was born, I also had PPD, but we knew to watch for the signs and made sure to get on anti-depressants right away...my awesome husband also insisted that I get out at least once a week, for a couple of hours without the baby.
I had post-partum depression after my son was born. I used to fantasize, while driving down the road, about driving my car into a telephone pole. I would be holding the steering wheel in a death grip, trying not to swerve off the road. It was terrifying. I have never felt so out of control. Eighteen months of Paxil and I've never had any problems since. It was so weird. I'm glad my PPD didn't target my son, that must have been horrendous.
Yikes. Glad you got some help.
I used to fantasize about driving my car off the road into a pole on the way to a former job just so I could hopefully get some rest in the hospital (stressful and tons of hours). That was when I knew it was time to find a new job...0 -
Anniversary was yesterday. The cake was just as delicious as it was a year ago. That bakery is truly the only thing I miss about living in that place. (Indiana - lived there for one long year)0
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My son's dad is a real douche, he greatly contributed to my PND issues after I had my son (cheating, not contributing to rent and racking up debt in my name, no baby help, verbally abusive, smashed my belongings etcetc). I finally left when my son was 18 months and he has refused to see him since just before his 2nd birthday and he constantly quits jobs so he doesn't have to pay child maintenance.
Confession: I still feel just as peed off about it now as I did in the beginning and I'm not a particularly angry person but I have fantasised about bumping into him and having my say about the whole thing (I have held my tongue for my sons sake).
2nd confession: I feel guilty about still letting confession 1 get to me as it has been nearly 2 years since I left and I think everyone thinks I should just get over it now.
3rd confession: I'm making damn sure that if I do bump into him again (not likely as I had to move counties to get away from him) I am going to look super hot and he will know he didn't break me and me and my son are far better off without him.
Phew it feels good to get that off my chest!
Just keep telling yourself this. Because it's true. You will "get over it" when it's time. I went through something similar years ago and it took me awhile, too, but life takes crazy twists and turns and just focus on yourself and your son. Good for you for being strong enough to get away in the first place!0 -
Confession #1: It was my birthday this weekend, and a friend was coming over. I had everything for a nice lunch, and so she didn't need to bring anything. She asked if she could bring something, and instead of saying "no", I said "yes... chips!". She came with two bags of salt and vinegar chips, my favourite. I ate a whole bag myself. On my birthday. It was awesome. Then I ate cake.
Confession #2: I just spent 15 minutes reading pages and pages of these confessions.0 -
smashley_mashley wrote: »I can't help judging a bit when I see pictures of overweight kids. And feeling so sad for them... what a harsh start in life to be made such an easy target for bullying.
I understand but I wouldn't say "judge" the kid. I feel bad b/c it is so hard to lose the weight and learn on your own how to correct the behaviors you grew up learning. I definitely judge the parents though. How can they do that to their kid? (but then I see them in the grocery store buying sugary cereals, salty snacks, pre-packaged food, and not one fresh veg or fruit).
It's what I meant... Obviously I'm not judging the kid! I had a 'friend' with an obese daughter, and she blamed it on her meds... I mean, sure, she was on meds that make you gain weight, but the mom herself was overweight and pretty much fried all their food... and it didn't occur to her at all that she was partly to blame too.
On the same line of thought, I feel so bad for divorced parents whose ex feed the kids junk all the time.0 -
It is somewhat concerning to read of all the members who must meticulously weigh each item prior to eating it. I am aware that certain individuals are on very regimental diets and must account for every calorie, but these behaviours may become unhealthy habits and may prevent one from living a healthy and happy life. I know this because I have been there too, weighing everything that entered my mouth. You can eye ball most of these (e.g. Tbsp of peanut butter) and I bet you would be accurate. You don't want to become a slave to the scale. It feels a lot better to be able to eat in approximate estimations and you begin to trust your body more, thus building a stronger sense self-concept.
I think this varies person to person, though. Personally, this is what I do, too. I don't weigh my food or track calories because I wanted to be able to learn what I needed to eat and not eat just by figuring it out and listening to my body, but there really is no right or wrong way. Just doing what works for you is the key.0 -
I hate going over peoples heads, but sometimes I just have to. Here's the email chain I just endured.
Restaurant Manager : "AOJ, how do I go about ordering a cake from the Supermarket Bakery"
AOJ: "What kind of cake do you want"
Restaurant Manager: ....."<boring cake details>"
AOJ to Restaurant Managers Boss: "Hey RM Boss, RM wants a cake from the supermarket, shouldn't this be something that our IN HOUSE bakers can handle?"
RM Boss: "Yeah, I'll look into that."
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fellowtraveler87 wrote: »-I'm in the introvert / low friend count crowd. Used to bother me, but not so much anymore. My wife and I are very close. Other than that, I can count the people I consider close friends on one hand and still have a finger or two to spare (family included). Having lots of friends that you can't relate to or don't have much in common with just seems like a waste of effort to me.
-As close as I am to my wife, I look forward to the couple times a week where she's working and I'm not. I enjoy solitude (in small doses).
-In the past few months I've gotten down to a "normal" bmi for the first time since I was probably 8 years old. I still feel pretty much the same though. Its like my clothes got bigger but I didn't change.
-I don't have nearly as much muscle mass hiding under my fat as I had thought.
-I plan on switching gears from weight loss focus to muscle growth, which will involve eating more, which I'm apprehensive about. I plan on keeping a VERY close watch on things to make sure I'm doing it right so I don't end up back where I used to be.
-I used to make fun of cats but now we own two of them and I'm a "closet" cat person.
First bold: me too! My husband is retired and I work full time, but he does have a part-time job on the weekends and I really look forward to those few hours on the weekends that I get to myself!
Second bold: it's only been a few months. It takes a while for your brain to catch up.0 -
AgentOrangeJuice wrote: »I hate going over peoples heads, but sometimes I just have to. Here's the email chain I just endured.
Restaurant Manager : "AOJ, how do I go about ordering a cake from the Supermarket Bakery"
AOJ: "What kind of cake do you want"
Restaurant Manager: ....."<boring cake details>"
AOJ to Restaurant Managers Boss: "Hey RM Boss, RM wants a cake from the supermarket, shouldn't this be something that our IN HOUSE bakers can handle?"
RM Boss: "Yeah, I'll look into that."
OK, when I read the first email, I was wondering why a restaurant manager of all people would order a cake from a Supermarket Bakery. Yikes.0 -
smashley_mashley wrote: »fellowtraveler87 wrote: »[/b]
I also confess I don't add MFP friends because I don't like getting "Likes" when I post my exercise or complete my food diary. The only two MFP friends I have are my mom and my husband.
This made me laugh because I'm the same way. I don't really want to add friends on here. I am very private with my diary etc. My only friends on MFP are my boyfriend and my mom (I got her to join recently and she likes it so far).
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rungirl1973 wrote: »AgentOrangeJuice wrote: »I hate going over peoples heads, but sometimes I just have to. Here's the email chain I just endured.
Restaurant Manager : "AOJ, how do I go about ordering a cake from the Supermarket Bakery"
AOJ: "What kind of cake do you want"
Restaurant Manager: ....."<boring cake details>"
AOJ to Restaurant Managers Boss: "Hey RM Boss, RM wants a cake from the supermarket, shouldn't this be something that our IN HOUSE bakers can handle?"
RM Boss: "Yeah, I'll look into that."
OK, when I read the first email, I was wondering why a restaurant manager of all people would order a cake from a Supermarket Bakery. Yikes.
This is why I love you, you see the logic from square 1.0 -
It is somewhat concerning to read of all the members who must meticulously weigh each item prior to eating it. I am aware that certain individuals are on very regimental diets and must account for every calorie, but these behaviours may become unhealthy habits and may prevent one from living a healthy and happy life. I know this because I have been there too, weighing everything that entered my mouth. You can eye ball most of these (e.g. Tbsp of peanut butter) and I bet you would be accurate. You don't want to become a slave to the scale. It feels a lot better to be able to eat in approximate estimations and you begin to trust your body more, thus building a stronger sense self-concept.
Yeah a lot of people in denial say that too. I'm not saying you are, but, well, my eyeballing skills totally suck and it's pretty often that I get some almond butter, figure it's about 20g... and it's 32g. And I've been doing this for 2 years. So... I weigh.
The thing is... I have a sweet tooth. The only reason I managed to lose weight in the first place is because I didn't have to deny myself those sweets. But they pack calories too, so it's not something I want to estimate. So... I weigh. And then I weigh the rest too so I know I actually have some spare calories for my 1/2 cup of ice cream.
In a perfect world where I was actually ok with eating 'clean', I probably wouldn't have to weigh my piece of chicken and veggies, I would only eat when I'm hungry, I wouldn't have any cravings... but it's not a perfect world. I do it this way because it works for me.
I find it's somewhat concerning how it doesn't even occur to some people that what works for them might not work for others and that they feel the need to judge because 'clean' or 'intuitive' eating doesn't work for them.
Confession? I HATE confrontation but I keep getting dragged in online arguments with close minded people that really frustrate me.0 -
rungirl1973 wrote: »AgentOrangeJuice wrote: »I hate going over peoples heads, but sometimes I just have to. Here's the email chain I just endured.
Restaurant Manager : "AOJ, how do I go about ordering a cake from the Supermarket Bakery"
AOJ: "What kind of cake do you want"
Restaurant Manager: ....."<boring cake details>"
AOJ to Restaurant Managers Boss: "Hey RM Boss, RM wants a cake from the supermarket, shouldn't this be something that our IN HOUSE bakers can handle?"
RM Boss: "Yeah, I'll look into that."
OK, when I read the first email, I was wondering why a restaurant manager of all people would order a cake from a Supermarket Bakery. Yikes.
Depends of the Supermarket. Wegmans cakes are delicious. I actually ordered cake from a local bakery once and it wasn't even as good.0 -
rungirl1973 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »ladybuggnorris wrote: »fellowtraveler87 wrote: »confession:
(and this ties in to the past 2 or 3 topics in this thread somehow)
I used to be pretty judgmental of people with mental health issues. I'd dismiss it as weakness or attention seeking. Then about 2 years ago I started having panic attacks and anxiety. Fought it for a long time, tried to "fix" it on my own, nothing worked. Finally got help. Very humbling experience to say the least.
Was also drinking quite heavily during this time. Knocking on the door of full-blown alcoholism. I think the anxiety and panic attacks were correlated to the drinking but I'm not which came first. Anyway after getting help the desire to drink really dropped off. Every once in a while I want to have a casual drink like everyone else but I don't trust myself. It might be fine, or I might spiral out of control and right now I'm not willing to take that risk. Drinking heavily, at least for me, was symptomatic of deeper issues I had been harboring.
It all stems back to childhood I really believe that now. I didn't have that bad of childhood but for one aspect and it had a drastic effect on me without my realizing it until recently. I'll confess more on that later don't have the time now...
Oh, and I used to be one of those who thought about sex constantly but after seeking help they put me on an anti-depressant (one more thing I used to not "believe in" doing until it effected me). It has really helped me a lot, but one side effect is it has pretty much killed my libido. I don't necessarily mind it and in fact find it strangely liberating. I can focus my thoughts on more productive things and feel more in control of my mind and body.
Not a confession, but I highly recommend the book "Always the fat kid" - felt like I was reading my own biography and it really helped me understand myself.
I am so happy you got help! Through being overweight my whole life and bullied, I was still ALWAYS very mentally stable. (Arrogance runs in my family!) After I had my second child, I became a completely different person. I was angry ALL THE TIME. I treated my three year old son sooo bad. One day, when the baby was about 6 months old, I raged out on my 3yo to the point that I physically hurt him. I immediately lock myself in the bathroom and called my husband to come home from work. That very day, we went to our GP, who diagnosed me with severe post-partum depression, even though I was not sad, but angry. I took antidepressants and joined a post-partum support group and the change back to my old self was almost immediate. To this day, I still harbor so much guilt over hurting my son and I will NEVER forget the look in his eyes when it happened. It was a complete look of betrayal. I don't think he remembers it and I have never told anyone this story before. I am so glad this is a no judgement zone, because now that I have brought the memories back up, I feel about the worst human being ever.
When our third was born, I also had PPD, but we knew to watch for the signs and made sure to get on anti-depressants right away...my awesome husband also insisted that I get out at least once a week, for a couple of hours without the baby.
I had post-partum depression after my son was born. I used to fantasize, while driving down the road, about driving my car into a telephone pole. I would be holding the steering wheel in a death grip, trying not to swerve off the road. It was terrifying. I have never felt so out of control. Eighteen months of Paxil and I've never had any problems since. It was so weird. I'm glad my PPD didn't target my son, that must have been horrendous.
Yikes. Glad you got some help.
I used to fantasize about driving my car off the road into a pole on the way to a former job just so I could hopefully get some rest in the hospital (stressful and tons of hours). That was when I knew it was time to find a new job...
This reminded me of a problem I had at work a year ago (it was building up for two years). I felt very competitive feelings towards a co-worker of mine. She had leadership responsibilities, and I really respected her. She is beautiful, successful, and confident. She made some drunken threats towards me in my first few months of working there, and I kept them a secret, which didn't our personal relationship (professionally, we were great together). She apologized profusely, but I don't think I ever forgot it. There were only three other women we worked with who we around our age, and she was good friends with two of them. They would do things on the weekend together, never inviting me, but always talking about how awesome it was and it really upset me, because I was new and had no girlfriends in our town. Yes, it was as "highschool" as it sounds, and it was totally pathetic.
Anyways, I slowly noticed how I was letting her "presence" really destroy my self image. I started over-analyzing everything I said about her, I'd replay every conversation I had with her over and over and over again in my head. We lived close to each other, and whenever I passed her house, I would always look in her apartment window to see what she was doing (because it would always be "cooler" than what I was doing). I would dread running into her if I was in our town because she would always look so beautiful and put together. I couldn't make a decision for what clothes to wear, what clothes to buy, what exercises to do without comparing what she did (or worse, what I assumed she did). I'd laugh to myself if she had lipstick on her teeth, and was in general really critical of her. It got pretty intense, and my husband got worried.
This was one of the many reasons why my husband and I quit our jobs and travelled around the world. I now see that we got off to a bad start, and although she did some terrible things to me, she didn't deserve me making every thing she did have something to do with me. She was just doing the best she could, and it's a shame I got out of control.
I have never had mental health problems before, and I appear to people (even during this time) as being really outgoing, friendly and confident. I hope I have better skills now to deal with my competitive nature, and my insecurities in the future.
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Kelll12123 wrote: »I ate over half a carton of ice cream in one sitting last week
I sympathize with you. I had to log in over 1,000 calories of snacks yesterday. I almost did not log them....but I thought to myself "I HAVE to be honest". Thank you for also being honest. Mary.0 -
Danilynn1975 wrote: »I weigh out veggies like sweet potatoes at the grocery store on my food scale, yes I bring it with me. It's a flat black smooth one and looks like an iPad from a distance. It any of the sweet potatoes weigh more than 200 grams I won't buy it. So some weeks, I don't get them, because none are in the magic gram weight. I also buy loose onions and bell peppers on a similar weight method. Again some weeks, there aren't any in that weight.
I only buy my International Delight coffee creamer in the single serving mini containers like you get at restaurants. That way I know exactly how much creamer is in my coffee every morning.
I have counted the pieces of popcorn I have eaten.
All meat for myself is weighed out of the big package, vacuum sealed with date, weight, and either put in the fridge or freezer.
Packages of cheese are brought home and cut immediately into 1 ounce slices and vacuum sealed and returned to the fridge.
Lunches for the week are done on Sunday. Monday, Wednesday and Friday I usually do mixed veggies 300 grams frozen weight to be microwaved. Tuesday and Thursday are Broccoli days and that is 400 grams of frozen weight to be microwaved.
Boxes of Cereal if they are mine, get pre portioned out to 42 gram Ziploc baggies. I'm the only one who will drink 2% milk. So the half gallon gets weighed out into 8 ounce containers and returned to the fridge in their little reusable thermos containers.
When I make biscuits, I weigh the flour out and do not use a measuring cup. Any flour used for kneading that is left gets scraped up and weighed to subtract from the recipe.
I have made hamburgers for a party and weighed each patty, and thrown away what would not divide evenly into the calculated weight of the others.
I can actually nail the number of servings a peanut butter container has in it by the label to perfect accuracy. I weigh it out too.
I actually own 4 food scales, 1 that travels, 1 at the office and 2 in the kitchen. Their batteries are changed the 1st day of every month whether they need it or not. They are also all the same brand and identical. I'm a lab tech and have used the calibrated weights to check their accuracy, they are in acceptable range. I do this often.
Shall I continue. I have developed a lot of quirks over my 900+ logging days here.
I'm so impressed I'm at a loss for words... #slowclap
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