Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

ladybuggnorris wrote: »

Alatariel75 wrote: »

BZAH10 wrote: »

rungirl1973 wrote: »

ShibaEars wrote: »

I realized last night I have this issue with feeling guilty if I do well at something. I am doing an agility class with my dog and I was able to pick up the new stuff last night that the other people weren't getting. I felt like one lady in particular was giving me stink eye because she wasn't doing so well (but seriously, who wears flip flops to something they know involves running and direction changes?). The instructor complimented me at the end and it took everything I had to not downplay it.

It kind of sounds like I'm humble bragging, maybe I am, maybe I should just turn it into actual bragging: Me and my dog are doing awesome in agility. Unfortunately I can't seem to allow myself to enjoy it and feel proud of her and I because... well I don't know why.

It's not wrong to feel proud of being good at something, is it?

I think a lot of people, especially women, struggle with this. I know in school, I got excellent grades. I was in the top 2% of my high school graduating class and went to college on a 100% academic scholarship. Most of my friends didn't realize it because I would always pretend like my scores were poor on a test where I may have gotten a 95%. I was embarrassed that some things came so easy to me.

I still downplay my accomplishments to some extent. I've had managers/directors tell me to be more outspoken about what I'm accomplishing, so I'm working on it.

I had this problem when I was younger. In 1st grade I was sent to the 2nd grade class for reading. At that age (for me anyway) that was traumatic! I had no friends, they were all older than me and it singled me out and different. Everyone called me smart and I didn't like that. I struggled. In 2nd grade I was moved to the 3rd grade class and couldn't do it another year, so I acted like I wasn't able to keep up. Looking back that was stupid. Maybe I could have skipped a grade if I'd just stuck with it. Oh well. Live and learn.

I was skipped ahead, not once but twice. The result was that by the time I hit the second year of high school, I was an unpopular 12 year old in a class of 14 year olds, the only crowd that would tolerate me was the out-crowd, and my desperation to fit in made me get into EVERYTHING they were in, as hard as I could. Got into massive conflict with my parents, because I didn't have any friends but the ones 2 years older, but I was 'too young' to do what they did. Cue me becoming a massive delinquent, sneaking out, lying and eventually dropping out of school and moving out of home 2 weeks after my 15th birthday.

I'm successful now, but that took until my 20's. My folks reckon letting me get skipped ahead on the basis of intellect alone was the worst mistake they ever made.

My son is brilliant. He is so bored in school and the suggestion was that he skip a grade. As a December baby, he is already the youngest in his class. We decided against it, knowing that academics was only a small part of the picture. I swear he is the only kid in 7th grade that has not started puberty yet and I can't even imagine what that would be like if he was in an older grade.