Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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pearso21123 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »I would be pissed, like I said in my last post, I would want to freak out.....
I have read a lot of the posts that say it is a deal breaker, and while some people feel that way, I do not always think it is that easy.
If it is some guy you have been with a few months or something, of course, get out right away. But if it is someone you have been with for many years and otherwise the relationship is good and this is not repeat behavior, IMO you really have to decide if it is something worth throwing the whole relationship out.
I know this might not be a popular opinion, but I do not believe the monogamy is natural for humans. Most animals are not monogamous. Even if you are doing your best to be monogamous, sometimes you become drawn to something you cannot control.
I am a firm believer that some people will always cheat, and some people may never, but given the right set of circumstances EVERYONE is capable of cheating. Ever see the movie Unfaithful? Perfect example.
Thanks. I appreciate it. This is the approach I'm taking. Like I said I haven't talked to him so I want to see what he has to say. I don't know if it's a good idea but as I've been going through things this week, I've been writing down thoughts/feelings. If he is open to listening, I want to share how it's affected me. Overall he has been great so this is a surprise. I'm not sure he realized how bad this really is. But then again, he was hiding it so maybe he does...
I have five free therapy sessions through work so I'm going to get his schedule and figure out when we are both free to go and make an appointment if he is willing. If not, I will give up.
I agree though. I think that monogamy is hard for a lot of people and probably not natural. However, I'd rather have someone admit to me that they aren't happy being with just me instead of going behind my back. If he is a man who wants to be in a relationship with me, I don't want to share and he will have to say no to temptation.
And yes, I've seen Unfaithful. That is a sad movie.
Also, I hope you are doing okay. I love the pictures of your rodent baby and I feel so bad for you. At least you know he had a good life with you!
I can't read books, stories, or watch movies like this, just makes me sick all over again. I do believe people can be monogamous, yes it's super hard and you have to work at it TOGETHER, but that is what COMMITMENT is. If you want to be in an open relationship, by all means do whatever floats your boat- but it's the lying and hiding things that are the problems. No good can come of it. My parents just celebrated their 31st wedding anniversary and I have no idea if either strayed nor do I want to know as it's their business but seeing as they're still very much in love and just how their relationship dynamic is I highly doubt either ever has. Again, monogamy is difficult but doable. I think saying we're not meant to be monogamous is a cop out personally, or giving people an excuse, but that's just my opinion!
I agree. I've been faithful to my husband for 15 years and have never had any difficulties staying monogamous. To my knowledge, the same is true of him, even though there have been times when he's had the opportunity to cheat. We made a promise to each other when we were married. Marriage isn't easy, but we both work hard to make it work. We're both committed to our family. Society today condones adultery and makes excuses for people's bad behavior. I say people need to be responsible for their own behavior and quit making excuses. Show some integrity, people!
Preach!! I agree 110%!0 -
spacequiztime wrote: »
Oh god, the idea of someone I know in real life recognizing me online scares me. I think I'd deactivate and remake if that happened here.I do not ever reveal my name online because it is ridiculously unique (I'm serious; I was named after my mom's best friend from high school) and I'm paranoid that someone who knows me will see it and know it's me.
I'd have to hide in a hole. Let's say I'm much more vocal online than in RL. I keep it low key on Facebook but still, I'm always 'liking' stuff, so I'm sure a lot of people are wondering who I am, really, because I just don't show that side of me to them (like the fact that I'm a huge Geek, for example).
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pofoster21 wrote: »
Sharing a picture of Phoebe and me from Sunday. We moved up to 3' (tried a few years ago and we had a few issues, so backed down and have been working on it every since -- my issues not hers) and tried again this past Sunday. She was amazing and we ROCKED it.
Plus, this is my first time trying to post a photo in here from my computer. I made it work on tablet, have never been able to figure out phone, so let's see if desktop works!
Beautiful photo!! What a beauty of a horse!0 -
My only experiences with Facebook come from a fake account I set up to get emails about movie screenings and trying to fix something for my parents. I'm a fairly quiet and reserved person outside the 'net. It's just weird to think of people used to that side of me more open.spacequiztime wrote: »
Oh god, the idea of someone I know in real life recognizing me online scares me. I think I'd deactivate and remake if that happened here.I do not ever reveal my name online because it is ridiculously unique (I'm serious; I was named after my mom's best friend from high school) and I'm paranoid that someone who knows me will see it and know it's me.
Why? Don't most people have Facebook? I'm surprised I don't have stalkers or anything because I'm so lax about information about myself. It's a blessing and a curse I'm so naive and want to believe everyone is good! You'd think after working with juveniles, being a corrections officer, and now working in child support I'd be the exact opposite!
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quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »
Actually pretty smart of you at 13LadyAbsynthe wrote: »(Kind-of) related to all the first-name-sharing: when I was like 13 I had a "girlfriend" on one of those sites like gaia online. But I was really paranoid so I made up a false name and mentioned all these details about my fake life so that she would never be able to find me in person. And then I was paranoid that she would anyway, so I faked my death. It was... weird.
. I used to be a regular on some forum that eventually closed down. I was terrified to give my real name because I didn't want anyone to track me down... some people did get extremely creepy with me (it was just a forum for a movie series) and scared me. I still have a great paranoia and had to convince myself to put up a real picture on my profile. I think about taking it down all the time, though. There are some creepy people out there.
My parents' rude awakening to the real world when we first got online - some guy messaged me asking me to mail him a shoe. I thought it was funny and told them, and it wasn't until I was older that I understood why they had him blocked.
I may be completely naive, but why is that request anything other than kind of weird? The only thing I could think of was that he wanted to somehow get your address by asking you to mail something silly...
Foot fetishist (is that a word?)
Yep, that.0 -
kelly_c_77 wrote: »
I'll keep mismatched socks for a while, but after 5 years or so I realise that everyone has made all the sock puppets that realistically are ever going to be made (i.e. zero), and I'll chuck the spares. The mate will always be found the following week.berlynnwall wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »52cardpickup wrote: »
I would hire someone to do my laundry. I hate doing laundry. I FULLY REALIZE it just involves sticking a bunch of clothes into a stupid machine, and then sticking them into another stupid machine. Doesn't matter. Still hate doing laundry.
People think I am weird but I love doing laundry . Pulling it out of the dryer when it smells good. Folding it into neat little piles then hanging it all up in the closet . Just makes me happy..
I'm also a laundry lover. I get irritated if anybody else uses MY laundry machines. Just leave them alone and let me have this one thing.
I don't mind laundry. But I HATE folding socks. They will sit in a laundry basket for YEARS and everyone will have to hunt through for a matching pair.
I don't fold socks at all. I will give everyone their own socks in their laundry pile, but if they want to match them, that is on them. I also don't care if they just throw them all in a drawer and dig through in the morning. I have a relaxed attitude about this lol.
ETA: My men always seem to turn their socks inside out when removing them. For many years I'd turn them right way out. No longer. Ditto my daughter's skinny jeans & leggings. They know they get a pretty good deal in that I'm prepared to do their laundry, so they don't get to complain!
All of my husbands shirts come off inside out. He works outside...so in the winter, he wears lots of layers. He just peels them all off in one big lump...inside out. I turned them the right way for 12 years...the past two years, I wash, dry, and hang them up...all inside out.
Now, my 3.5 year old son's shirts come off inside out as well. Really??
I reject any clothes that are inside out in a lump - my older daughter (14yo) often does that with her school polo t-shirt and jumper. This lands back in her bedroom when I sort out the laudry basket.
I confess to be weird when it comes to my underwear drawer. It's a big one so it's divided in 3 area - 1 for socks and tights, 1 for bras and last one for panties. All neatly folded and in perfect rows...
This made me chuckle. My daughter was a neat freak for awhile (unfortunately, she grew out of it), and arranged her sock/underwear drawer so that she had a pair of underwear layed out neatly and a matching pair of socks stacked neatly on top of the underwear. You could tell she had put a lot of thought and effort into matching her socks with the appropriate pair of underwear.0 -
I can't read books, stories, or watch movies like this, just makes me sick all over again. I do believe people can be monogamous, yes it's super hard and you have to work at it TOGETHER, but that is what COMMITMENT is. If you want to be in an open relationship, by all means do whatever floats your boat- but it's the lying and hiding things that are the problems. No good can come of it. My parents just celebrated their 31st wedding anniversary and I have no idea if either strayed nor do I want to know as it's their business but seeing as they're still very much in love and just how their relationship dynamic is I highly doubt either ever has. Again, monogamy is difficult but doable. I think saying we're not meant to be monogamous is a cop out personally, or giving people an excuse, but that's just my opinion!
Sorry, totally messing up the quote because I missed the original post...
I don't think it's necessarily a cop out or giving people an excuse... The bottom line is that once you're married and you make that commitment, cheating is wrong. But I find 'open relationships' perfectly fine, if it makes people happier (even if it's not for me). Some people will just not be happy if they are monogamous.
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pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Well, I have a not-so-confessiony confession (that sounded weird.). I've mentioned here before that I was writing a book on an amateur writing website (Wattpad). Today, I finally finished the book! I just posted the final chapter like... Fifteen minutes ago.
My husband refused to read it until it was fully complete (he hates incomplete things, whether they're books or series) but he wanted to read it when it was done. So, he read it today, and I was really nervous because he's usually reeeeally picky about the books he reads. He said that he enjoyed it and the plot was really unique! (very rare praise from him) I'm SO GIDDY RIGHT NOW.
I also got tons of feedback on how unique and original the storyline is from almost every single commenter, so now I feel all warm and fuzzy and special. Yay me!
Congratulations. That's a big deal. I am envious of people that have the ability to write!!
Thanks! I just keep refreshing my notification page, hoping for new comments.
I wouldn't say I'm much of a writer, actually. I'm a pretty good essay writer, so I can convey a lot of information in a very concise manner. As a result, my first story is really short. Each chapter is like... One and a half pages.
My sister's been a writer since she was about 13, and she writes novels. My entire BOOK could fit into one of her chapters!
So... can you post a link that we can all read it? And this is wonderful! And you are a great writer, as we all know from reading your posts!
I would really love to share a link, but you'd all require quite a bit of background to understand the book at all. You see, I wrote it anticipating a Muslims-only audience and didn't really provide any explanation or background for non-Muslims to follow along. As my husband said when I said someone here requested a link to my book (SO EXCITING!), "You'll be throwing them into completely uncharted territory, and they'll be completely confused..."
So, here's the required background, and if you still want to read it, click away at the link at the bottom! You don't need to be a member of the Wattpad site to read the books on it, by the way, so that's a plus.
In Islam, we believe in the world of the unseen. This is basically the world of spirits and things that we can't see, but we believe that they exist--the fact that we can't see them is a test of the strength of our belief, basically. The inhabitants of the unseen world are the jinn, and they're the spirits that people think are ghosts (we don't believe in the undead). Unlike humans, who are made from clay, jinn are created from fire.
For an accurate portrayal of the world of jinn (not for the faint of heart), see this Islamic book about jinn, posted by my sister: http://www.wattpad.com/story/12069640-the-jinn
Because they're part of the unseen world, we actually know very little about the jinn. So, keep in mind that my book is fictious and not a very accurate portrayal of the way that jinn live their lives.
My basic inspiration for writing the story was that people write Islamic fiction all the time, but books focusing on jinn are almost always horror stories. But we know for sure that there are actually many, many Muslim jinn in this world. We have little to no contact with Muslim jinn because we're forbidden to try to contact them, and only the Muslim jinn adhere to this rule. I wanted to show other Muslims (most are terrified of jinn) that jinn aren't all bad, and we're all God's creation regardless of our species. I also wanted to portray Islam through the innocent eyes of a child, rather than focusing on the technicalities of the actual practice of the religion, so there's more of a light focus.
So if you're interested in reading a paranormal Islamic fiction, I hope you enjoy the story! Here's the link: http://www.wattpad.com/story/36935539-living-on-the-other-side
There's also no glossary for Arabic or Islamic terms, but I kept those to a minimum, so hopefully there won't be too much confusion.
Sorry for the novel of explanation! I just didn't want anyone to jump in and be completely lost... "What in the world is she TALKING ABOUT?!" 0 -
spacequiztime wrote: »
My only experiences with Facebook come from a fake account I set up to get emails about movie screenings and trying to fix something for my parents. I'm a fairly quiet and reserved person outside the 'net. It's just weird to think of people used to that side of me more open.spacequiztime wrote: »
Oh god, the idea of someone I know in real life recognizing me online scares me. I think I'd deactivate and remake if that happened here.I do not ever reveal my name online because it is ridiculously unique (I'm serious; I was named after my mom's best friend from high school) and I'm paranoid that someone who knows me will see it and know it's me.
Why? Don't most people have Facebook? I'm surprised I don't have stalkers or anything because I'm so lax about information about myself. It's a blessing and a curse I'm so naive and want to believe everyone is good! You'd think after working with juveniles, being a corrections officer, and now working in child support I'd be the exact opposite!
Ahh okay I see now! I'm the same here, there, everywhere haha Loud and I love to talk!0 -
raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »This potty training fiasco is really testing my patience right now. I love my kid, and I know she has other issues, but holy hell this is an exhausting venture!
I waited until mine were way too old to do it. I admire people who have the courage to do it with 2yos... My kids were 4.
Believe it or not, many Arabs insist that their children have to be potty trained by the age of one. This is especially strict in the non-Gulf Arab countries like Palestine and Syria. An American Muslim lady married to a Palestinian man once confided in my mother that she felt like a parenting failure because of her in-laws' shock that her son wasn't potty trained when he was one.0 -
I can't read books, stories, or watch movies like this, just makes me sick all over again. I do believe people can be monogamous, yes it's super hard and you have to work at it TOGETHER, but that is what COMMITMENT is. If you want to be in an open relationship, by all means do whatever floats your boat- but it's the lying and hiding things that are the problems. No good can come of it. My parents just celebrated their 31st wedding anniversary and I have no idea if either strayed nor do I want to know as it's their business but seeing as they're still very much in love and just how their relationship dynamic is I highly doubt either ever has. Again, monogamy is difficult but doable. I think saying we're not meant to be monogamous is a cop out personally, or giving people an excuse, but that's just my opinion!
Sorry, totally messing up the quote because I missed the original post...
I don't think it's necessarily a cop out or giving people an excuse... The bottom line is that once you're married and you make that commitment, cheating is wrong. But I find 'open relationships' perfectly fine, if it makes people happier (even if it's not for me). Some people will just not be happy if they are monogamous.
Oh no there's nothing wrong with open relationships because in those instances everyone is aware of the situation and who's going where and doing what! I work with a guy and him and his boyfriend have been together 18 years and two years ago they made the mutual decision to be open. That's awesome, whatever works for both people involved. I'm more talking about one partner taking it upon them-self to make a monogamous relationship an open relationship without talking about it or deciding it mutually with their partner- hence the cheating. That's all I meant!
ETA; I suck at spelling0 -
governatorkp wrote: »About 6 years ago I used to have an eating disorder.
Due to severe malnutrition, my heart, kidneys and liver were failing.
I was estimated to live for roughly 6 more weeks.
Today that's long past me. I'm healthy, exercising, eating clean, varied and enough.
I'm no longer having self-destructive thoughts about body or food.
However, my girlfriend recently brought up she wanted to lose weight.
She's healthy, and quite skinny already, and I'm scared to death.
We've talked and fought a lot about it.
I decided her feeling-good would go before my fears.
So now I'm supporting her in her weight loss and we started exercising together. (As to where she never did any exercise..)
I'm supporting her but it feels so wrong. It's so much against my nature.
It's bringing back traumatic experiences I've gone through being admitted to an institution for EDs.
I feel guilty because I told her about all of this, and she got mad.
She got mad because she knew about my past already, but decided to be straightforward with me about it and now regrets it. She's mad because she's blaming herself for me feeling bad due to her own choices.
At least that's what she believes, because ofcourse I'm scared mostly due to how in my head it links to past experiences.
I know it might be irrational to think she's going to go the same route.
But I know she too has seen both sides of the "weight" coin. (Having been both very skinny/chubby)
As I said I'm supporting her, pushing my own thoughts and fears aside, but when I do that she just gets angry.
Now she completely is reluctant to losing weight, I believe she's afraid to hurt me.
I myself feel bad since I know she feels bad in her own body, but no longer dares to change it out of fear of my reaction to that.
No matter how many times I tell her the 'problem' of my bad mood about the topic is my own personal experiences, she seems to always take it personally anyway.
I'm being confronted with my past, yes, but then it's my responsibility to deal with it.
It's almost as if she feels responsible, doesn't want me to have to deal with it, thus puts her own desires aside in the hope it would make me more happy.
In truth it doesn't make either of us happy. I'm still trying to support her (though not pushing) in making healthier choices, subtly and not too often, cause I know I am ready to do so, and -I- just have to deal with my own mind.
She told me that she needs 100% of support of everyone around her to be able to lose weight.
I'm doing my best but she just ignores my efforts, she doesn't even accept my support.
I'm not quite sure what to do.
I don't have any sage words of advice, but I hope things work out. Sending hugs your way. (I'm not a hugger but I don't mind virtual hugs) 0 -
Guys, I'm dying about the shoe-mailing thing. So funny.0
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Italian_Buju wrote: »I would be pissed, like I said in my last post, I would want to freak out.....
I have read a lot of the posts that say it is a deal breaker, and while some people feel that way, I do not always think it is that easy.
If it is some guy you have been with a few months or something, of course, get out right away. But if it is someone you have been with for many years and otherwise the relationship is good and this is not repeat behavior, IMO you really have to decide if it is something worth throwing the whole relationship out.
I know this might not be a popular opinion, but I do not believe the monogamy is natural for humans. Most animals are not monogamous. Even if you are doing your best to be monogamous, sometimes you become drawn to something you cannot control.
I am a firm believer that some people will always cheat, and some people may never, but given the right set of circumstances EVERYONE is capable of cheating. Ever see the movie Unfaithful? Perfect example.
Thanks. I appreciate it. This is the approach I'm taking. Like I said I haven't talked to him so I want to see what he has to say. I don't know if it's a good idea but as I've been going through things this week, I've been writing down thoughts/feelings. If he is open to listening, I want to share how it's affected me. Overall he has been great so this is a surprise. I'm not sure he realized how bad this really is. But then again, he was hiding it so maybe he does...
I have five free therapy sessions through work so I'm going to get his schedule and figure out when we are both free to go and make an appointment if he is willing. If not, I will give up.
I agree though. I think that monogamy is hard for a lot of people and probably not natural. However, I'd rather have someone admit to me that they aren't happy being with just me instead of going behind my back. If he is a man who wants to be in a relationship with me, I don't want to share and he will have to say no to temptation.
And yes, I've seen Unfaithful. That is a sad movie.
Also, I hope you are doing okay. I love the pictures of your rodent baby and I feel so bad for you. At least you know he had a good life with you!
I can't read books, stories, or watch movies like this, just makes me sick all over again. I do believe people can be monogamous, yes it's super hard and you have to work at it TOGETHER, but that is what COMMITMENT is. If you want to be in an open relationship, by all means do whatever floats your boat- but it's the lying and hiding things that are the problems. No good can come of it. My parents just celebrated their 31st wedding anniversary and I have no idea if either strayed nor do I want to know as it's their business but seeing as they're still very much in love and just how their relationship dynamic is I highly doubt either ever has. Again, monogamy is difficult but doable. I think saying we're not meant to be monogamous is a cop out personally, or giving people an excuse, but that's just my opinion!
I am so far behind and leaving for a meeting soon so not gonna get caught up now!
I want to clarify that I never said it was not possible to be monogamous, just that it is not natural.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »This potty training fiasco is really testing my patience right now. I love my kid, and I know she has other issues, but holy hell this is an exhausting venture!
I waited until mine were way too old to do it. I admire people who have the courage to do it with 2yos... My kids were 4.
Believe it or not, many Arabs insist that their children have to be potty trained by the age of one. This is especially strict in the non-Gulf Arab countries like Palestine and Syria. An American Muslim lady married to a Palestinian man once confided in my mother that she felt like a parenting failure because of her in-laws' shock that her son wasn't potty trained when he was one.
I just wonder how they do it.0 -
pearso21123 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »I would be pissed, like I said in my last post, I would want to freak out.....
I agree. I've been faithful to my husband for 15 years and have never had any difficulties staying monogamous. To my knowledge, the same is true of him, even though there have been times when he's had the opportunity to cheat. We made a promise to each other when we were married. Marriage isn't easy, but we both work hard to make it work. We're both committed to our family. Society today condones adultery and makes excuses for people's bad behavior. I say people need to be responsible for their own behavior and quit making excuses. Show some integrity, people!
Was that too judgy for this thread?0 -
spacequiztime wrote: »
My only experiences with Facebook come from a fake account I set up to get emails about movie screenings and trying to fix something for my parents. I'm a fairly quiet and reserved person outside the 'net. It's just weird to think of people used to that side of me more open.spacequiztime wrote: »
Oh god, the idea of someone I know in real life recognizing me online scares me. I think I'd deactivate and remake if that happened here.I do not ever reveal my name online because it is ridiculously unique (I'm serious; I was named after my mom's best friend from high school) and I'm paranoid that someone who knows me will see it and know it's me.
Why? Don't most people have Facebook? I'm surprised I don't have stalkers or anything because I'm so lax about information about myself. It's a blessing and a curse I'm so naive and want to believe everyone is good! You'd think after working with juveniles, being a corrections officer, and now working in child support I'd be the exact opposite!
Ahh okay I see now! I'm the same here, there, everywhere haha Loud and I love to talk!
I'm actually the only Sawsan Al-Hadhrami on Facebook (at least I was as of last year or so), so the whole world can find me. But I don't really care, because I share next to nothing online (except in this thread... I share way too much in this thread!) and so I just use my real name everywhere. I've got nothing to hide, at least nothing in what I share online!0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »This potty training fiasco is really testing my patience right now. I love my kid, and I know she has other issues, but holy hell this is an exhausting venture!
I waited until mine were way too old to do it. I admire people who have the courage to do it with 2yos... My kids were 4.
Believe it or not, many Arabs insist that their children have to be potty trained by the age of one. This is especially strict in the non-Gulf Arab countries like Palestine and Syria. An American Muslim lady married to a Palestinian man once confided in my mother that she felt like a parenting failure because of her in-laws' shock that her son wasn't potty trained when he was one.
Aw that's sad! She shouldn't feel that way, kids all learn at different paces!
This may be a silly question so I apologize, but, when you're speaking with your husband or friends and family do y'all speak Arabic then? Does everyone know English? Yours is better than mine I feel like! 0 -
Whatever is in the Pure Protein bar. It was not a pleasant experience. So much so that I suggested eating one to someone that confessed that they were constipated.
That was me you suggested it to. I do eat two a day (breakfast and lunch). Nothing so far.
Now I'm trying the Pearls (probiotic/enzyme pills).
Instead of having to temporarily relocate to the third stall in the restroom, they'd have to set up my desk in there. I can't even LOOK at the box without having traumatic PTSD flashbacks. (That is in no way a stab at people with actual PTSD, I'm just saying, it was traumatic).
I used to eat Pure Protein bars all the time and never noticed anything
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My daughter was 18 months when she showed interest. At the time we were chained to the house a bit with a newborn, so I figured why not. I put the potty out and took off her undies when we were home and she kind of turned it into a game. It was wonderful actually! My boys weren't so easy.Susieq_1994 wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »This potty training fiasco is really testing my patience right now. I love my kid, and I know she has other issues, but holy hell this is an exhausting venture!
I waited until mine were way too old to do it. I admire people who have the courage to do it with 2yos... My kids were 4.
Believe it or not, many Arabs insist that their children have to be potty trained by the age of one. This is especially strict in the non-Gulf Arab countries like Palestine and Syria. An American Muslim lady married to a Palestinian man once confided in my mother that she felt like a parenting failure because of her in-laws' shock that her son wasn't potty trained when he was one.
I just wonder how they do it.
I did read something about people adopting babies from China, and often the babies would pee when their carer held them over the toilet and whistled. The adoptees would put the babies in diapers as soon as they took over and the baby would lose that skill, but I have no idea how you'd toilet train a child that young! Would save lots of laundry though!
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