Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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I haven't posted here before, but having read some of your posts I feel I may have found a safe place to vent about all things food and fitness related - thank you!!
My confession; I just finished my third round of an intense health and fitness program called FIt in 42 - it's a 42 day program that is a combination of clean eating combined with workouts six days a week. During these programs I am a superstar - I always lose at least 20-25 lbs and two clothing sizes, and I feel like a million bucks. The problem happens when I come off the program and can't stay focused. We are encouraged to celebrate our success but I always take it overboard...pizza, pasta, wine, the list goes on. Two weeks later I am lethargic and hating myself. I have kept up the working out (although I go 4 days a week now instead of 6) but I need to get past this habit of excess followed by self-loathing....There has to be a happy medium!
Sounds like it would be time to figure out your calorie TDEE and start logging. Getting a handle on that will go a long way to keeping the weight off and not going overboard after finishing a program like that.0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Coastalpath wrote: »Hello all,
I've been lurking since page 1... wasn't planning to post was just enjoying the confessions. Then the thread went on, and on, and on, and I never felt it was the right opportunity to post anything. Just wanted to say that there are probably lots of us who enjoy this thread, who empathise, who find it interesting, who laugh and cry along with everyone else, and might not post a lot but thoroughly enjoyed it, and hopefully will continue to do so.
My confession (I feel the need to contribute at least once) is that I skipped breakfast today so I could go for a waffle and ice-cream for lunch and I also have a take-away curry for dinner tonight. I use CICO when it suits me!
I am in maintenance at the moment as I have started NROLFW and am enjoying eating all the foods now, but this is the first time I've had ice-cream for lunch and I have no regrets!
No regrets! Often on the weekends, I don't eat breakfast because I know I'll eat a high calorie dinner and have cocktails. Welcome to the thread!
That's actually my weight loss "secret". I am not a morning person, and my stomach is on message, so I hardly ever eat breakfast. It gives me more room in the rest of my day, and I can eat a bigger meal during my starving time aka evening.
I don't eat until 9:30 or 10:00 and I get up around 5:00. I figure, why waste the calories if I'm not hungry?
Exactly. Also, I notice if I do eat early, I feel more hungry throughout the day than on days where I wait to eat.
Some days if I eat way too early when I have to work at 7 in the morning I feel like I am going to gnaw my arm off from hunger by the time my break rolls around at 9 or whenever they remember to give me my break. It's really bad when my stomach decides to speak for me & scream feeeeeeeeed me, feeeeeeeeeed me.0 -
Yes, no alcohol and no caffiene. There's an old teaching called The Word of Wisdom which prohibits 'hot drinks' which is taken to mean tea and coffee and therefore caffiene. However, some people are a bit flexible on this and will drink Coke and Mountain Dew instead. Sounds like your SIL is in the former camp - he might appreciate another cold drink, or he may appreciate the chance to show off how righteous he is by declining all beverages. Some Mormons are like that.
Ask me!Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age
) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
In my city there are very few Muslims. I know NONE personally, which is why I'm completely clueless but fascinated. And you are completely right: it's the fear of offending that keeps us from asking questions causes confusion and misunderstandings.
My step-daughter is married to a Mormon and I have several questions I'd like to ask him, but I don't out of fear of offending him. Hmmm.... perhaps this is something I need to work on.
Okay, just a few random ones:
Alcohol - that's a general "no", right? What about caffeine? I over heard someone the other day say that Mormons don't drink caffeine, but it was while standing in line at the grocery store and I couldn't tell if they were serious or what. I've never heard of that, but it concerns me because I know my SIL doesn't drink alcohol so whenever they are at our house I offer iced tea and pop, but he generally just has water. If this is true I feel badly and need to have lemonade or something on hand.
The cross - big thing for Catholics, but not for Mormons. I understood it to be because the cross has a negative association with Jesus. Is that true? If so, that makes sense to me. It always creeped me out a bit when Catholics have crosses all over with Jesus portrayed as nailed to them. Plain ones I can understand. ***This is not meant to offend anyone. I'm just curious, but I can take this offline if it bothers anyone.***
The cross thing is correct, the cross is a symbol of Jesus's death, and they prefer to celebrate his life.
Ask anything else. I'm unoffendable (is that a word). I left the faith when I was 18 but remain interested because I still have many friends in it.
Very interesting - thank you! My son-in-law isn't as much into it as his parents are, but I did not know about the caffeine thing! Neither does my husband. I'll tell him tonight and I will have alternative drinks on hand for him.
So far, they are compromising as far as religion. They were married in a church, but it was non-denominational. My step-daughter was raised Catholic (by her mother) and had lots of crosses, but she doesn't have any in their house now. They have 2 small children, so it will be interesting to see how that goes. They did not baptize them in the Catholic church so I think they are just going to stay non-denominational.0 -
I read that as she unfriended the user that sent the unwarrented diary policing.newfutures wrote: »
why would you delete someone because the amount of calories THEY eat? If they are not trying to force you to eat like that in anyway why does it offend you so much that you should delete them?kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »I like being friends with the people from this thread.
Because I know nobody will put their judgy pants on when they see my diary.
Have you guys seriously had people judge you about your diaries?
I don't recall ever having anyone judge anything I ate but I think I had someone question me about my sodium intake a few times.
The only time I would judge someone about their food diary or delete them would be from them eating under 1,000 calories everyday.
I would only give constructive criticism if someone asked for it & usually only looked at food diaries to see if I could get any new food ideas. Personally I found looking at food diaries to be tedious.
Yes. I had people tell me I eat too much junk. Unfriended very fast too.
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oh forget it. I'll just try again.
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Glinda1971 wrote: »
No, I haven't, and I'd probably un-friend anyone who did. I rarely have time (or interest, to be honest) to look at anyone else's diary, and I'd find it disconcerting if someone started giving me a hard time about my butter consumption.kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »I like being friends with the people from this thread.
Because I know nobody will put their judgy pants on when they see my diary.
Have you guys seriously had people judge you about your diaries?
I don't recall ever having anyone judge anything I ate but I think I had someone question me about my sodium intake a few times.
The only time I would judge someone about their food diary or delete them would be from them eating under 1,000 calories everyday.
I would only give constructive criticism if someone asked for it & usually only looked at food diaries to see if I could get any new food ideas. Personally I found looking at food diaries to be tedious.
I haven't had anyone judge me. But I've heard of it happening on here. Just random trolls I suspect.
Just selfconscious I suspect on my part.
Same here! I've had friends comment and it made me feel weird because I rarely even look at anyone else's dairy
I do comment, but usually only to demand a recipe for things that look delicious, or to tell a friend who's struggling with protein (for example) that she did really great on her protein today, and well done. I hope it doesn't make anyone feel weird!
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »I like being friends with the people from this thread.
Because I know nobody will put their judgy pants on when they see my diary.
I never put judgy pants on when I see diaries! I understand what it's like to struggle, and plus I just get jealous when it's full of yums...
But yours is private, I can't even see it even though we're friends--so nobody can put judgy pants on at all!
I thought I had unlocked that for friends. I will fix it.
Thanks.
You're welcome! I love browsing diaries; you'll find a lot of 3000+ calories days if you browse mine, though (and a ton of empty days, these past few months, unfortunately.
).
Honesty is good though. I struggled about opening it for friends because I was afraid people would judge. But, then I thought "It's my lifestyle and if they want to judge, so be it. I'm usually pretty good - except a couple Saturdays ago when I drank my dinner.
Ha, mine is open to the public. I have no shame! (Actually, I just don't think anyone cares enough to go and stalk it.)
Mine is open too. But when I go over, I will often just put quick calories because nobody needs to know that I had half a pint of ice cream over my calories... at least this way they might think it was 200 calories of broccoli or something (as if).
But I never 'complete' my diary and I stopped posting pretty much everything on my feed (diary completion, weight loss etc) anyway, so I don't think anyone is looking.
I log what it actually is because I'm obsessive and I want to know exactly how many grams of protein, carbs, etc. had--I never use Quick Add when I can help it. I don't care if everyone sees that I ate 10 chocolate chip cookies or something.
Well once I've reached my protein goal, it doesn't really matter to me, and I pretty much always do anyway.newfutures wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »I like being friends with the people from this thread.
Because I know nobody will put their judgy pants on when they see my diary.
Have you guys seriously had people judge you about your diaries?
I don't recall ever having anyone judge anything I ate but I think I had someone question me about my sodium intake a few times.
The only time I would judge someone about their food diary or delete them would be from them eating under 1,000 calories everyday.
I would only give constructive criticism if someone asked for it & usually only looked at food diaries to see if I could get any new food ideas. Personally I found looking at food diaries to be tedious.
Yes. I had people tell me I eat too much junk. Unfriended very fast too.
why would you delete someone because the amount of calories THEY eat? If they are not trying to force you to eat like that in anyway why does it offend you so much that you should delete them?
No I deleted them because they commented on what *I* ate.
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kmartin499 wrote: »I lost 30 pounds pounds two years ago, and I've gained 15 of it back! Trying to lose it. Again. This is hard.
You have a hand up here. Just get back to what you were doing!! 0 -
Agree - most mormons are nice, normal people. But the deep theology is extremely complex (and contradictory) and most have only a very basic understanding of it.
They love it until you ask awkward questions, then you won't see them for dust. There are a lot of awkward questions to ask.berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
In my city there are very few Muslims. I know NONE personally, which is why I'm completely clueless but fascinated. And you are completely right: it's the fear of offending that keeps us from asking questions causes confusion and misunderstandings.
My step-daughter is married to a Mormon and I have several questions I'd like to ask him, but I don't out of fear of offending him. Hmmm.... perhaps this is something I need to work on.
In my experience, Mormons love to talk about their faith, they even stop by your house to tell you about it when they don't know you! I think you have a good chance of him being very open to discussing it with you. No offense to any Mormons here - every Mormon I personally know is extremely kind and nice to be around.
Eh, depends on how you ask and who you ask, I think.
One of my best friends from school is LDS and I don't think she ever refused to explain anything to me or got offended when I asked questions. She knew I didn't mean to hurt her if I didn't phrase something right, but I still made sure to say things like "Can you explain what your church believes about what happens when we die?" instead of "What's up with that whole baptizing the dead thing?"
I learned a ton about the LDS faith from her and I'm really grateful for the knowledge - it's saved me from putting my foot in my mouth when I meet Mormons often.
And bonus, when missionaries come to my door (which seems to happen a couple times a year) I can say "Oh, my friend so-and-so is in such-and-such ward, do you know her or her husband?" and then something like "I'll be sure to ask her about any questions I have about the Book of Mormon. Have a nice day!" That approach only takes a minute of my day and I know the missionaries appreciate getting treated like actual people. And selfishly, I really like that I don't have to feel like a jerk and that I might have brightened their day a little bit by actually being kind.
I'm not close to my friend anymore as we took very different paths and don't have a lot in common anymore and she's much more involved with church stuff and her kids and stuff now, but I still feel a great deal of empathy for those little missionary kids. I know what their lives are like while on their mission so I try to be a little extra nice if I can. I'm not gonna convert and I'm not going to invite them in for Bible study or anything, but I like to try to talk to them like any other person.
True - but I don't think it's much different from other major religions in that respect. Not like your average raised-Catholic-so-Catholic-by-default (for example) is an expert on doctrine and the more esoteric liturgical/canonical practices etc. or whatever. Mainstream Abrahamic religions are also very complex and contradictory (depending on who's interpreting) IMO and I think the average practitioner often doesn't get into that serious theological stuff.
I think religion in general is pretty fascinating although I'm not religious myself. I don't mean that in a condescending way at all, I just think they're incredibly interesting. I love reading religious non-fiction (of any variety), although I recognize how weird that is from someone without a religion.0 -
I haven't said much, but I've been keeping up. By keeping up, I mean I read every post, even if it's days later. I went away for lunch earlier and came back to this:
I also noticed that we should hit 30,000 replies by tomorrow probably!
I think the one thing that keeps me coming back is all the love I feel here. It has been especially obvious today!
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CountessKitteh wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »
Thank you. I hadn't cried yet, but that pushed me over the edge.
Special needs kid. Not good at organising himself. Trusts his useless loving, helpful (who can't do it all, sometimes makes mistakes, but will always try her best) mother to do it for him.quiksylver296 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »
And now I feel worse because my husband asked why I didn't drive him to school. I don't know why - I should have, I was just in such a panic I wasn't thinking straight.Oh, I am such a bad mother! My son is in the middle of diploma exams - I checked the calendar a dozen times and wrote down that his last two exams are on Monday. Got a call from the school at 9.34 saying that he should be in an exam right now and that they'd let him in if he got there by 10.00. I hauled him out of bed and thrust the car keys in his hand. He should be able to get there on time. I'm shaking. How could I have messed up so badly?
Not judging, but if he's old enough to drive...why isn't he keeping his own exam schedule?
I kinda thought that, too. (But not judging!)
I called the school and he did get there in time. So he wasn't prepared, but at least he's there.
Fixed that for you!
Yeah, @BZAH10 and all her warm and fuzzies will do that to you.
Thank you! And I absolutely cannot keep up with this thread so I've missed a lot, but I cannot quite figure out why you are in the front end of a car in your profile pic! You are super cute, though! And what IS that car?
It's a Tesla Model S, so there's no engine (electric with a battery that's smaller than a briefcase, that's under the body of the car). There's a store inside the King of Prussia mall, and my friend made a comment about how I was so short that I could probably hang out in the "enginge" compartment.
...so I did.
Ah, got it! Great story and thank you for the explanation!0 -
I only really reply and give likes to friend's wall posts.0
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I can't blame you. They probably wouldn't like me, either... I do a pretty good death-glare when I need to.pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I did it. I messaged my stepdaughter. This is what I said.
"You need to message your dad. He needs to talk to you, but you haven't returned his text message. Also, Sunday is Father's Day and I didn't know if you were planning on being around."
It was probably not the nicest message, but it's a lot nicer than what I wanted to say which is this.
Come pick up your cat from hell, give me my key, get your stuff, and get out. You obviously don't want to be a part of our lives and I'm not going to be your storage unit and cat's caretaker anymore. Your dad has tried really hard to make sure you feel a part of our family, we all have, and you've done nothing but take advantage of that and I've had enough. Oh, and I expect you to have a check for $400 for your tags to your dad by Monday.
Every time I think about her and what's been going on, I get so angry and want to cry (that's probably more PMS) and I just hoped when she came into our lives, things would be so different. I'm sad now.
How many times did you consider sending the second message and then erase it? If she didn't have the money for the tags, the car would have to stay at the house.
I never typed any part of the second message, I just thought it and have been for quite some time now.
My husband brought this up during our "discussion" (fight) last Friday. He asked if I wanted him to take the car away from her if she couldn't pay the tags, and I said no because then she wouldn't have any way to get to work. Although, that's not really my problem. I wasn't relying on other people when I was 19, I had a car that I paid for and was working AND going to college full time. I know she's not me, but she needs to learn some accountability and responsibility. I might make the suggestion that until she CAN pay for the tags, that he drive the car since it's in his name anyway.
I'm afraid that if I keep bringing this up to my husband, we'll have a terrible vacation and anniversary and I've waited 15 DAMN years for this and I REFUSE to let her ruin that for us. Why does she have to be such a selfish brat?!
Well, this has been going on for a while. No need to ruin vacation plans over it. I'd just ignore it as best you can. You both deserve your anniversary and vacation and nothing is going to change with the step-daughter in the next few weeks anyway, I'm guessing.
Nineteen is a tough age! Yes, they should be adults, but their brains are still developing and lack maturity. She will get better at some point, but probably not until her early 20's, IME. My kids all became normal humans again by 21 or so.
I disagree, honestly. I'm 20, and I've had to adult (yes, I'm using that as a verb.) since I was 14 or 15 years old, due to circumstances beyond my own control. The behavior of others my age frankly disgusts me sometimes--they're old enough to have some manners and consideration for the feelings of other people, they just don't want to bother.
Personal circumstances and situations can make a person grow up faster.
At my daughter's age, I had been living on my own for several years, working two jobs and trying to get pregnant.
My daughter can barely suck it up to work a summer job, help around the house a bit, and take on the stress of finding a place to live to go back to school in the fall.
Just for the record, she is rather selfish most of the time too.....it is a teenage girl thing, I am sure of it.....although I find at times she takes it to the extreme.
While I agree about circumstances and their effect on people, I don't think that's ever an excuse for being a self-centered, inconsiderate idiot to everyone around you. Sometimes I just want to smack people and yell "Have some manners!" or "Whatever you may actually think, the world DOESN'T revolve around you, and you didn't do anything to deserve to have your life handed to you on a silver platter!" That said... I'm actually an extremely polite person (to a fault) and would never do either of those things.
...But I really hate people with entitlement complexes. It may be a wee bit of a sore spot.
You are my soul sister. I am so fed up with the kids at my barn for their attitudes, sloppy behavior, ignoring the rules of how to handle horses, etc. Throwing multi thousand dollar saddles on the ground, discarding $35 crops and forgetting them, crumpled hundreds of dollar jackets in the back of the trailer. MAKES ME NUTS!!!!!!!! And I am NOT nice about it. I would have KILLED for the things these kids get and they have no respect. And not taking proper care of the horses causes a mental break down for me. I am not well liked by the children of the barn.
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My sense of humor has gotten really weird. I just laughed for a solid 5 minutes because I have a google chrome extension that changes the word "millennials" to "snake people", so there are articles with amazing titles like " 'my boss thinks we're different species': what snake people talk about when they talk about their managers" and "15 economic facts about snake people."
Aaaalso I may have just eaten almost all my calories for the day this morning. Even though I felt full after eating a single peach. Sigh. Out for a walk no matter how hot it is!0 -
Also PS, I'm sorry I only write novel-length posts, everyone! Apparently I really like to hear myself talk...brevity is a virtue I've never possessed, I guess.
I enjoy your posts! I actually quite like reading longer posts, and I do tend to write a lot of novel-length posts myself, so... 0 -
chocolateandpb wrote: »Confession: I think one of the main reasons I'm having such a hard time losing weight is because I love smokin' the reefer, and then I get the munchies and can't stop munching.
That'll do it!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Italian_Buju wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »I did it. I messaged my stepdaughter. This is what I said.
"You need to message your dad. He needs to talk to you, but you haven't returned his text message. Also, Sunday is Father's Day and I didn't know if you were planning on being around."
It was probably not the nicest message, but it's a lot nicer than what I wanted to say which is this.
Come pick up your cat from hell, give me my key, get your stuff, and get out. You obviously don't want to be a part of our lives and I'm not going to be your storage unit and cat's caretaker anymore. Your dad has tried really hard to make sure you feel a part of our family, we all have, and you've done nothing but take advantage of that and I've had enough. Oh, and I expect you to have a check for $400 for your tags to your dad by Monday.
Every time I think about her and what's been going on, I get so angry and want to cry (that's probably more PMS) and I just hoped when she came into our lives, things would be so different. I'm sad now.
How many times did you consider sending the second message and then erase it? If she didn't have the money for the tags, the car would have to stay at the house.
I never typed any part of the second message, I just thought it and have been for quite some time now.
My husband brought this up during our "discussion" (fight) last Friday. He asked if I wanted him to take the car away from her if she couldn't pay the tags, and I said no because then she wouldn't have any way to get to work. Although, that's not really my problem. I wasn't relying on other people when I was 19, I had a car that I paid for and was working AND going to college full time. I know she's not me, but she needs to learn some accountability and responsibility. I might make the suggestion that until she CAN pay for the tags, that he drive the car since it's in his name anyway.
I'm afraid that if I keep bringing this up to my husband, we'll have a terrible vacation and anniversary and I've waited 15 DAMN years for this and I REFUSE to let her ruin that for us. Why does she have to be such a selfish brat?!
Well, this has been going on for a while. No need to ruin vacation plans over it. I'd just ignore it as best you can. You both deserve your anniversary and vacation and nothing is going to change with the step-daughter in the next few weeks anyway, I'm guessing.
Nineteen is a tough age! Yes, they should be adults, but their brains are still developing and lack maturity. She will get better at some point, but probably not until her early 20's, IME. My kids all became normal humans again by 21 or so.
I disagree, honestly. I'm 20, and I've had to adult (yes, I'm using that as a verb.) since I was 14 or 15 years old, due to circumstances beyond my own control. The behavior of others my age frankly disgusts me sometimes--they're old enough to have some manners and consideration for the feelings of other people, they just don't want to bother.
Personal circumstances and situations can make a person grow up faster.
At my daughter's age, I had been living on my own for several years, working two jobs and trying to get pregnant.
My daughter can barely suck it up to work a summer job, help around the house a bit, and take on the stress of finding a place to live to go back to school in the fall.
Just for the record, she is rather selfish most of the time too.....it is a teenage girl thing, I am sure of it.....although I find at times she takes it to the extreme.
While I agree about circumstances and their effect on people, I don't think that's ever an excuse for being a self-centered, inconsiderate idiot to everyone around you. Sometimes I just want to smack people and yell "Have some manners!" or "Whatever you may actually think, the world DOESN'T revolve around you, and you didn't do anything to deserve to have your life handed to you on a silver platter!" That said... I'm actually an extremely polite person (to a fault) and would never do either of those things.
...But I really hate people with entitlement complexes. It may be a wee bit of a sore spot.
You are my soul sister. I am so fed up with the kids at my barn for their attitudes, sloppy behavior, ignoring the rules of how to handle horses, etc. Throwing multi thousand dollar saddles on the ground, discarding $35 crops and forgetting them, crumpled hundreds of dollar jackets in the back of the trailer. MAKES ME NUTS!!!!!!!! And I am NOT nice about it. I would have KILLED for the things these kids get and they have no respect. And not taking proper care of the horses causes a mental break down for me. I am not well liked by the children of the barn.
Does not matter - the horses are the priority! Those kids will hopefully learn a good, hard lesson that they will carry through life. Good for you and keep cracking that whip! (on the kids, I mean; never the horses!)0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Fitness related confession: I attempted to do my HIIT workout last night, and by attempt, I mean, I made 2 rather pathetic rounds skipping some exercises as to not injure myself further. I think I actually DID injure myself further. My ankle was really swollen last night and my leg was really sore. I really hate that I got hurt so close to my vacation and I can't do a proper workout because of it.
Non-fitness related confession: My husband FINALLY messaged his daughter (actually, she messaged him after my request yesterday [small victory?]) and she is coming by Saturday because he told her he wants to talk to her in person. I am glad he finally did this and I hope he doesn't chicken out and lays down the law with her. I'm not sure if I will be present or not because I told my daughter I'd take her Father's Day shopping Saturday and I also have an eye appointment to get my trial contacts checked. A part of me wants to be there to support him, but a part of me knows me, and fears I might say something I'll regret. Not sure which part of me will win yet. Positive thoughts are appreciated.
On a related note, when I got home last night, I noticed her cat has managed to tear about a 4" hole in my carpet in the doorway of the room she's staying in. I was so irate that I started screaming at this stupid cat and telling her I hate her and she's got to leave. She didn't understand what I was saying and I am sure she didn't care because she proceeded to tear at the carpet once the door was closed again.
Unrelated but relevant to something I mentioned yesterday: I asked my husband about whether or not we're going to exchange anniversary presents and he said he thought we'd just do some shopping for each other while we're down there. I am on board with this idea especially since I already have an idea of what I want to buy him. He also mentioned that what he wanted to get me we couldn't afford but could make payments on it. I told him I didn't want any more payments and he said not even for a ring?! I love that man!
Sorry so long, but I had a lot to say.
tl;dr: I hurt myself working out, stepdaughter's supposed to talk to husband Saturday, and I may be getting a new ring.
That damn cat! I hope she'll either take it Saturday or at least give it to a good home.
No more injuring yourself before vacation! Did your bruise go away yet?
Yay for a new ring!
Um, no. I'm not sure if you can see it, but the bruising is all the way around my ankle and the side of my foot and my leg hurts like a mug today because of last night. Good news though, my ankle isn't nearly as swollen as it was last night.
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »I like being friends with the people from this thread.
Because I know nobody will put their judgy pants on when they see my diary.
I never put judgy pants on when I see diaries! I understand what it's like to struggle, and plus I just get jealous when it's full of yums... But yours is private, I can't even see it even though we're friends--so nobody can put judgy pants on at all!
I thought I had unlocked that for friends. I will fix it.
Thanks.
You're welcome! I love browsing diaries; you'll find a lot of 3000+ calories days if you browse mine, though (and a ton of empty days, these past few months, unfortunately.).
Honesty is good though. I struggled about opening it for friends because I was afraid people would judge. But, then I thought "It's my lifestyle and if they want to judge, so be it. I'm usually pretty good - except a couple Saturdays ago when I drank my dinner.
Ha, mine is open to the public. I have no shame! (Actually, I just don't think anyone cares enough to go and stalk it.)
Mine is open too. But when I go over, I will often just put quick calories because nobody needs to know that I had half a pint of ice cream over my calories... at least this way they might think it was 200 calories of broccoli or something (as if).
But I never 'complete' my diary and I stopped posting pretty much everything on my feed (diary completion, weight loss etc) anyway, so I don't think anyone is looking.
I log what it actually is because I'm obsessive and I want to know exactly how many grams of protein, carbs, etc. had--I never use Quick Add when I can help it. I don't care if everyone sees that I ate 10 chocolate chip cookies or something.
Well once I've reached my protein goal, it doesn't really matter to me, and I pretty much always do anyway.newfutures wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »I like being friends with the people from this thread.
Because I know nobody will put their judgy pants on when they see my diary.
Have you guys seriously had people judge you about your diaries?
I don't recall ever having anyone judge anything I ate but I think I had someone question me about my sodium intake a few times.
The only time I would judge someone about their food diary or delete them would be from them eating under 1,000 calories everyday.
I would only give constructive criticism if someone asked for it & usually only looked at food diaries to see if I could get any new food ideas. Personally I found looking at food diaries to be tedious.
Yes. I had people tell me I eat too much junk. Unfriended very fast too.
why would you delete someone because the amount of calories THEY eat? If they are not trying to force you to eat like that in anyway why does it offend you so much that you should delete them?
No I deleted them because they commented on what *I* ate.
I keep my diary closed even to my friends because I don't really want other people's opinions on it when they don't necessarily know my goals or what I care about. I deleted some people who got judgey whenever I ate anything processed, for example (because I'm not trying to cut that stuff down) and people who offered unsolicited advice on my protein goal (I'm not lifting and I don't need to raise my goal when I feel energetic and not hungry, you know?)0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »In the interest of staying on track on this thread...
Confession: I have gained 16 pounds since I started this job in November. Granted it's a desk job, and I came from a fairly active job where I was on my feet a lot. This morning I was down two pounds from my current highest weight. However, my MFP weight is still lower than where I am currently, so I can't log the loss. And that makes me a little sad.
I have also been working SL 5X5s since November. I'm starting to feel strong! Last night I did 190 lbs on my squat, tried for 75 pounds on my OHP (but couldn't finish all my reps on the last set), and 215 on my deadlift. Lost my grip on the last deadlift. I think I need some deadlifting gloves to help my grip. I am going to be trying 120 pounds on my bench press tomorrow night, and 105 on my rows. I lifting!
You're freaking awesome! Have you lost any in measurements?
Oh no, there is no loss going on! LOL. I've been calling it my "bulk cycle" even though it's not.
Still it's awesome you're lifting weights & going progressively higher. I bought a barbell last year & still haven't did any lifting.0
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