Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
Replies
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@Coastalpath welcome fellow brit
Saving calories for ice cream/waffle brunch is a necessity at least once a year0 -
Why do they do it to themselves? Talk about lamb to the slaughter...
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10190983/quickest-way-to-loose-weight#latest0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »
I do work out. I run, I lift some weights and I do a boot camp class. I was super disciplined to lose 30 pounds and somewhere between 30 and 40, I just can't seem to get it back. the way I lost doesn't work any more....I need to find what "clicks" with my body and get over this pity party I'm having. I'm usually a super enthusiastic person, it's just got to be a funk
Well you need to adjust your calorie intake as you lose weight, which is the sucky part, lol.0 -
You have way too much to deal with. I'm so sorry - enjoy your ice cream and I hope tomorrow will be brighter.orangesmartie wrote: »It never rains but it pours!
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AngryViking1970 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))
Thank you everyone for supportive messages.
I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.
@MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green
Good for you!
I would love that! As long as I can eat cookies and have tea. I would make an EXCELLENT English person/woman. Plus, I do a pretty good English accent.
I may have been doing one in my head just then.
Here, you have biscuits and tea. Cookies are 'merican
Alright, biscuits, then.
Biscuits always brings hard cookies to my mind, like Oreos or Digestives. Not that I have anything against them, but I want soft, chewy, gooey COOKIES!
Or you know what? Gimme a scone. With butter.
I miss scones. Never been able to enjoy one since my Grandma passed away. She made the best and always made a special batch for me without raisins. I hate raisins!!
Count me in on the raisin-hating wagon!! In traditional Arabian dishes, raisins are popular to put into the rice. Makes me want to gag when I accidentally pop one into my mouth... X_X I *HATE* raisins. By themselves they're bad enough, but they absolutely ruin food for me when they're put into things like cookies or puddings. :-/
I am quite known for telling people that raisins "do not belong in food."
I do have a bag of the super tiny boxes in my office though. They're good for blood sugar headaches. Stupid raisins.
My mom always put raisins in the stuffing at Thanksgiving. I love it and thought everybody did that until the first time I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for my husband. He was like "what the hell is this?!". LMAO 11 years later and he still fears the raisins.
Hahaha I can just see it. I don't mind raisins but I like my dishes better without them, honestly, given the choice.
Family/friends always wanted me to do the stuffing-with-raisins thing, which revolts me. But I found a way around it. I started making a jalapeno corn bread stuffing instead. Everyone loved it, and there's no question that raisins wouldn't work in it, so nobody asks for the damned things now.
I do love other dried fruits in combination with both sweet and savory dishes, though - apples, apricots, pineapple, mango - there are so many lovely choices.
Other fruits can sometimes get away with it. Raisins can't, are horrible and should die in a fire!
^^^ This! I hate raisins. ICK.0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »It never rains but it pours!
Got home today, checked on mum all gone well, just wait for further biopsy results to make they got it all.
My dad said my sister's social worker rang yesterday. Some of you may remember I mentioned previously my parents and I have custody of her 2 year old son and she is pregnant again. Anyway, it seems that the picture is bleak for the unborn child ( a little girl) and the social are minded to take this one into care when she's born, and they wanted to know if we'd have her.
Of course the answer is yes. But I can't tell you how tired and stressed that makes me feel already. My mum and I run our own company together, but she will have to give up work to care for baby, so the earning to keep us falls on me and my dad only. Not to mention the burden of caring for a baby and a toddler. I can't leave my parents to do it all on their own, but I feel exhausted just thinking about a baby.
I.never wanted children.
And my nanna blabbed to my mum something I said at the weekend (when drunk) about finding driving home every weekend and having Charlie tiring. Which is true, doesn't mean I don't want to do it.
But now my mum is horribly upset. And it's the last thing she needs.
So tonight, everything will be eaten. And I am enjoying one night in lazy solitude. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no child, no expectations, just me, my sofa, my TV and some ice cream
Oh,my! You are an ANGEL! I cannot even begin to understand the patience and sacrifices involved to make sure that Charlie and now possibly another child are loved and cared for. Enjoy every minute of your solitude and quiet and remember that everything you are feeling is normal. You are WAY over and beyond doing what most people would do so please take care of yourself and don't get down or angry for the way this affects your life. Those children are blessed to have you.0 -
I haven't posted here before, but having read some of your posts I feel I may have found a safe place to vent about all things food and fitness related - thank you!!
My confession; I just finished my third round of an intense health and fitness program called FIt in 42 - it's a 42 day program that is a combination of clean eating combined with workouts six days a week. During these programs I am a superstar - I always lose at least 20-25 lbs and two clothing sizes, and I feel like a million bucks. The problem happens when I come off the program and can't stay focused. We are encouraged to celebrate our success but I always take it overboard...pizza, pasta, wine, the list goes on. Two weeks later I am lethargic and hating myself. I have kept up the working out (although I go 4 days a week now instead of 6) but I need to get past this habit of excess followed by self-loathing....There has to be a happy medium!0 -
You don't like tomatoes on your salad?Italian_Buju wrote: »
Exactly!rungirl1973 wrote: »
I love sweet/savoury together too. I also love hot and cold things together, which I know a lot of people think it weird (fries with salad, custard (English style) with a big blob of vanilla ice cream etc.riderfangal wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))
Thank you everyone for supportive messages.
I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.
@MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green
Good for you!
I would love that! As long as I can eat cookies and have tea. I would make an EXCELLENT English person/woman. Plus, I do a pretty good English accent.
I may have been doing one in my head just then.
Here, you have biscuits and tea. Cookies are 'merican
Alright, biscuits, then.
Biscuits always brings hard cookies to my mind, like Oreos or Digestives. Not that I have anything against them, but I want soft, chewy, gooey COOKIES! Or you know what? Gimme a scone. With butter.
I miss scones. Never been able to enjoy one since my Grandma passed away. She made the best and always made a special batch for me without raisins. I hate raisins!!
Count me in on the raisin-hating wagon!! In traditional Arabian dishes, raisins are popular to put into the rice. Makes me want to gag when I accidentally pop one into my mouth... X_X I *HATE* raisins. By themselves they're bad enough, but they absolutely ruin food for me when they're put into things like cookies or puddings. :-/
I am quite known for telling people that raisins "do not belong in food."
I do have a bag of the super tiny boxes in my office though. They're good for blood sugar headaches. Stupid raisins.
My mom always put raisins in the stuffing at Thanksgiving. I love it and thought everybody did that until the first time I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for my husband. He was like "what the hell is this?!". LMAO 11 years later and he still fears the raisins.
I put dried cranberries in mine. Yummy.
No, no, no, fruit does not belong in stuffing..not judging though
I'm one of those weird people who like sweet and savory in the same dishes. I also like to add golden raisins to my vegetable salads. Just for a tiny sweet burst. I put them in my homemade applesauce, too.
Hot and cold? Hot fudge sundae or a warm brownie or piece of pie topped with ice cream. Yum!
Sweet and savory? I'm not a fan. I don't even like sweet dressing on my salad or fruit. Strawberries on a salad? No thank you, I'll have a salad and strawberries after for dessert.
I have never understood fruit on a veggie salad.....
Nope, sure don't. Cranberry, yes, tomato, no.
I pull all tomatoes out of my salad. And all food. I only like them in tomato sauce.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »I like being friends with the people from this thread.
Because I know nobody will put their judgy pants on when they see my diary.
I never put judgy pants on when I see diaries! I understand what it's like to struggle, and plus I just get jealous when it's full of yums...
But yours is private, I can't even see it even though we're friends--so nobody can put judgy pants on at all!
I thought I had unlocked that for friends. I will fix it.
Thanks.
You're welcome! I love browsing diaries; you'll find a lot of 3000+ calories days if you browse mine, though (and a ton of empty days, these past few months, unfortunately.
).
Honesty is good though. I struggled about opening it for friends because I was afraid people would judge. But, then I thought "It's my lifestyle and if they want to judge, so be it. I'm usually pretty good - except a couple Saturdays ago when I drank my dinner.
Ha, mine is open to the public. I have no shame! (Actually, I just don't think anyone cares enough to go and stalk it.)
Mine is open too. But when I go over, I will often just put quick calories because nobody needs to know that I had half a pint of ice cream over my calories... at least this way they might think it was 200 calories of broccoli or something (as if).
But I never 'complete' my diary and I stopped posting pretty much everything on my feed (diary completion, weight loss etc) anyway, so I don't think anyone is looking.0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »It never rains but it pours!
Got home today, checked on mum all gone well, just wait for further biopsy results to make they got it all.
My dad said my sister's social worker rang yesterday. Some of you may remember I mentioned previously my parents and I have custody of her 2 year old son and she is pregnant again. Anyway, it seems that the picture is bleak for the unborn child ( a little girl) and the social are minded to take this one into care when she's born, and they wanted to know if we'd have her.
Of course the answer is yes. But I can't tell you how tired and stressed that makes me feel already. My mum and I run our own company together, but she will have to give up work to care for baby, so the earning to keep us falls on me and my dad only. Not to mention the burden of caring for a baby and a toddler. I can't leave my parents to do it all on their own, but I feel exhausted just thinking about a baby.
I.never wanted children.
And my nanna blabbed to my mum something I said at the weekend (when drunk) about finding driving home every weekend and having Charlie tiring. Which is true, doesn't mean I don't want to do it.
But now my mum is horribly upset. And it's the last thing she needs.
So tonight, everything will be eaten. And I am enjoying one night in lazy solitude. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no child, no expectations, just me, my sofa, my TV and some ice cream
That is so rough. I'm sorry. But it's not your responsibility... will you just keep taking the kids if she keeps getting pregnant? I mean, I can't even imagine how hard it must be, but you shouldn't have to ruin your life (same for your mother) because your sister is irresponsible.
This child needs to be where she'll be wanted. And I'm not judging you because I completely get it. If I had to take care of another child now I'd be devastated, and I did want children. But it's not the best for you, and it's probably not the best for her... Wishing you the best though.
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Why do they do it to themselves? Talk about lamb to the slaughter...
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10190983/quickest-way-to-loose-weight#latest
Oh these youngsters just know it all, don't they?! Whenever I see "bossy" posts like this, that say do this and don't do that I check the profile for an age. Twenty-one. Thank you oh wise one.0 -
Kelll12123 wrote: »I ate over half a carton of ice cream in one sitting last week
I ate a whole one! LOL0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »I like being friends with the people from this thread.
Because I know nobody will put their judgy pants on when they see my diary.
Have you guys seriously had people judge you about your diaries?
I don't recall ever having anyone judge anything I ate but I think I had someone question me about my sodium intake a few times.
The only time I would judge someone about their food diary or delete them would be from them eating under 1,000 calories everyday.
I would only give constructive criticism if someone asked for it & usually only looked at food diaries to see if I could get any new food ideas. Personally I found looking at food diaries to be tedious.
Yes. I had people tell me I eat too much junk. Unfriended very fast too.0 -
Will_Run_for_Food wrote: »I was craving something sweet the other night but had absolutely nothing in the house that would satisfy me except some hot chocolate. So I ate two spoonfuls of the powder. Two spoonfuls. Of the powder.
Love this! Totally get it! Lol0 -
I'm almost 30 pages back but am on yesterday's posts... you people be posting like crazy!
@orangesmartie Keep your chin up, you are an amazing, strong, courageous and special woman. You can handle whatever life throws at you. Keep in mind that your meds will make all of what you are going through easier, and take them. Charlie is so lucky to have you. Hope your mom is doing well. Talk to your boyfriend, I am sure nothing is as bad as what you are imagining. (where does your girlfriend fit into all of this chaos? are things good there?) Hang in there, it will get better.
I must say that when one of you are having a hard time in life it makes me sad, like you are my family. Strange this bond we have over the internet, isn't it?
Yes she knows things are a bit tense, she doesn't take sides but offers a listening ear to both, as a sounding board. We all do this when things are difficult in one of the couples. We each try not to take sides, but sometimes it's clear someone is being an *kitten* and the third person can (and does) call them out on it, and it's less....inflammatory
We don't have one relationship to manage we have 4! But boyfriend issues are out of proportion due to my black, non medicated mood. We've not had a chance to talk properly, but we have it booked for next week. (romantic, no?)0 -
She's backing out so fast it makes my head spin. It was a classic though - I think I filled my bingo card in that one post.Why do they do it to themselves? Talk about lamb to the slaughter...
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10190983/quickest-way-to-loose-weight#latest
Oh these youngsters just know it all, don't they?! Whenever I see "bossy" posts like this, that say do this and don't do that I check the profile for an age. Twenty-one. Thank you oh wise one.
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Alright friends I'm off to bed- have to be up early to get that workout in! I can't wait to wake up and @pofoster21 comes back and sees all the shenanigans she missed!
oh my God you are so right, still working backwards to catch up but I opted to stay up too late to finish a book I was reading, woke up late (so didn't catch up this am), was late to work and now am stuck catching up on this (instead of working)!!!!!!!!! I cannot cannot miss this much again!0 -
Special needs kid. Not good at organising himself. Trusts his useless mother to do it for him.quiksylver296 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »
And now I feel worse because my husband asked why I didn't drive him to school. I don't know why - I should have, I was just in such a panic I wasn't thinking straight.Oh, I am such a bad mother! My son is in the middle of diploma exams - I checked the calendar a dozen times and wrote down that his last two exams are on Monday. Got a call from the school at 9.34 saying that he should be in an exam right now and that they'd let him in if he got there by 10.00. I hauled him out of bed and thrust the car keys in his hand. He should be able to get there on time. I'm shaking. How could I have messed up so badly?
Not judging, but if he's old enough to drive...why isn't he keeping his own exam schedule?
I kinda thought that, too. (But not judging!)
I called the school and he did get there in time. So he wasn't prepared, but at least he's there.
That seems much more reasonable. Any chance they updated the calendar after you'd checked it?0 -
My absolutely most favorite desserts are those with lime, lemon, or coconut.
I found a macaroon brand at a local dollar store without chocolate and they are soooooo good.
I put them in the freezer and grab one when I want a treat. Yummmmm! And at 60 cals each.
What is your reasoning for this? I'm curious since it's not a goal I often see someone sharing with me!0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
In my city there are very few Muslims. I know NONE personally, which is why I'm completely clueless but fascinated. And you are completely right: it's the fear of offending that keeps us from asking questions causes confusion and misunderstandings.
My step-daughter is married to a Mormon and I have several questions I'd like to ask him, but I don't out of fear of offending him. Hmmm.... perhaps this is something I need to work on.
In my experience, Mormons love to talk about their faith, they even stop by your house to tell you about it when they don't know you! I think you have a good chance of him being very open to discussing it with you. No offense to any Mormons here - every Mormon I personally know is extremely kind and nice to be around.0 -
This is one of my favorite comics.
@kecmw25 (and Mo) thank you very much.
My SO is doing Horribly Hilly Hundreds and I've got a list of landmarks to explore. We are eating at Old Fashioned (I need to check the menu to see if I can eat there, he raves about it!)
Edit - they offer gluten free (which is a start) so I'll probably be able to eat there. (I'm also dairy free but I'll probably taste a tiny bit of cheese and deal with the body aches and stuffy nose and racoon eyes consequences later...)
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That seems unlikely, but I guess it's possible. I think I just screwed up. I'm calmer now!CountessKitteh wrote: »
Special needs kid. Not good at organising himself. Trusts his useless mother to do it for him.quiksylver296 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »
And now I feel worse because my husband asked why I didn't drive him to school. I don't know why - I should have, I was just in such a panic I wasn't thinking straight.Oh, I am such a bad mother! My son is in the middle of diploma exams - I checked the calendar a dozen times and wrote down that his last two exams are on Monday. Got a call from the school at 9.34 saying that he should be in an exam right now and that they'd let him in if he got there by 10.00. I hauled him out of bed and thrust the car keys in his hand. He should be able to get there on time. I'm shaking. How could I have messed up so badly?
Not judging, but if he's old enough to drive...why isn't he keeping his own exam schedule?
I kinda thought that, too. (But not judging!)
I called the school and he did get there in time. So he wasn't prepared, but at least he's there.
That seems much more reasonable. Any chance they updated the calendar after you'd checked it?
I've heard about a couple of actual tragedies that have happened close to home over the past few days, so I'm trying to keep proper perspective.
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There have been times when I've only had 1-12 oz cup of coffee to drink for the entire day. Trying to drink enough each day is the hardest part of my journey. Without enough fluids I'm too tired to do anything other than my job. There was one time I was so dehydrated that I couldn't figure out how to open my car door.0
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Oh, I will say "My friend Susie."
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
I would, but my middle name is Sue, so when I don't want to give out my real name whether in person or on a website I use that, so if I start referencing "my friend Susie" people who know me will probably think I've gone totally bonkers and created a whole new identity in my head.
You could always call me Sawsan (my real name)... Then you have an exotic, foreign friend!
Yes! That's what I will do!0 -
Thank you. I hadn't cried yet, but that pushed me over the edge.
Special needs kid. Not good at organising himself. Trusts his useless loving, helpful (who can't do it all, sometimes makes mistakes, but will always try her best) mother to do it for him.quiksylver296 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »
And now I feel worse because my husband asked why I didn't drive him to school. I don't know why - I should have, I was just in such a panic I wasn't thinking straight.Oh, I am such a bad mother! My son is in the middle of diploma exams - I checked the calendar a dozen times and wrote down that his last two exams are on Monday. Got a call from the school at 9.34 saying that he should be in an exam right now and that they'd let him in if he got there by 10.00. I hauled him out of bed and thrust the car keys in his hand. He should be able to get there on time. I'm shaking. How could I have messed up so badly?
Not judging, but if he's old enough to drive...why isn't he keeping his own exam schedule?
I kinda thought that, too. (But not judging!)
I called the school and he did get there in time. So he wasn't prepared, but at least he's there.
Fixed that for you!
Yeah, @BZAH10 and all her warm and fuzzies will do that to you. 0 -
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They love it until you ask awkward questions, then you won't see them for dust. There are a lot of awkward questions to ask.berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
In my city there are very few Muslims. I know NONE personally, which is why I'm completely clueless but fascinated. And you are completely right: it's the fear of offending that keeps us from asking questions causes confusion and misunderstandings.
My step-daughter is married to a Mormon and I have several questions I'd like to ask him, but I don't out of fear of offending him. Hmmm.... perhaps this is something I need to work on.
In my experience, Mormons love to talk about their faith, they even stop by your house to tell you about it when they don't know you! I think you have a good chance of him being very open to discussing it with you. No offense to any Mormons here - every Mormon I personally know is extremely kind and nice to be around.
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Why do they do it to themselves? Talk about lamb to the slaughter...
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10190983/quickest-way-to-loose-weight#latest
Bummer. Deleted already.0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »It never rains but it pours!
Got home today, checked on mum all gone well, just wait for further biopsy results to make they got it all.
My dad said my sister's social worker rang yesterday. Some of you may remember I mentioned previously my parents and I have custody of her 2 year old son and she is pregnant again. Anyway, it seems that the picture is bleak for the unborn child ( a little girl) and the social are minded to take this one into care when she's born, and they wanted to know if we'd have her.
Of course the answer is yes. But I can't tell you how tired and stressed that makes me feel already. My mum and I run our own company together, but she will have to give up work to care for baby, so the earning to keep us falls on me and my dad only. Not to mention the burden of caring for a baby and a toddler. I can't leave my parents to do it all on their own, but I feel exhausted just thinking about a baby.
I.never wanted children.
And my nanna blabbed to my mum something I said at the weekend (when drunk) about finding driving home every weekend and having Charlie tiring. Which is true, doesn't mean I don't want to do it.
But now my mum is horribly upset. And it's the last thing she needs.
So tonight, everything will be eaten. And I am enjoying one night in lazy solitude. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no child, no expectations, just me, my sofa, my TV and some ice cream
I'm so sorry. That is really horrible. My sister is very similar to yours and has a similar situation. However, for many reasons I could not take her babies, and they have been adopted. People judge me as horrible for not taking on her two kids, and it killed me not to do it. I wanted to. I love them. It just couldn't happen.
Sometimes I'm actually glad they are adopted, because they will have the best chance of not having a life full of nonsense. They were adopted by the first family to foster them, so they got really lucky. Anyway, all that to say that I admire so much what you are doing for those kids, because I know from experience how much it is to take on and everything that goes with it.
I'm glad you can take care of yourself tonight.
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