Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
Replies
-
Agree - most mormons are nice, normal people. But the deep theology is extremely complex (and contradictory) and most have only a very basic understanding of it.
They love it until you ask awkward questions, then you won't see them for dust. There are a lot of awkward questions to ask.berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age
) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
In my city there are very few Muslims. I know NONE personally, which is why I'm completely clueless but fascinated. And you are completely right: it's the fear of offending that keeps us from asking questions causes confusion and misunderstandings.
My step-daughter is married to a Mormon and I have several questions I'd like to ask him, but I don't out of fear of offending him. Hmmm.... perhaps this is something I need to work on.
In my experience, Mormons love to talk about their faith, they even stop by your house to tell you about it when they don't know you! I think you have a good chance of him being very open to discussing it with you. No offense to any Mormons here - every Mormon I personally know is extremely kind and nice to be around.
Eh, depends on how you ask and who you ask, I think.
One of my best friends from school is LDS and I don't think she ever refused to explain anything to me or got offended when I asked questions. She knew I didn't mean to hurt her if I didn't phrase something right, but I still made sure to say things like "Can you explain what your church believes about what happens when we die?" instead of "What's up with that whole baptizing the dead thing?"
I learned a ton about the LDS faith from her and I'm really grateful for the knowledge - it's saved me from putting my foot in my mouth when I meet Mormons often.
And bonus, when missionaries come to my door (which seems to happen a couple times a year) I can say "Oh, my friend so-and-so is in such-and-such ward, do you know her or her husband?" and then something like "I'll be sure to ask her about any questions I have about the Book of Mormon. Have a nice day!" That approach only takes a minute of my day and I know the missionaries appreciate getting treated like actual people. And selfishly, I really like that I don't have to feel like a jerk and that I might have brightened their day a little bit by actually being kind.
I'm not close to my friend anymore as we took very different paths and don't have a lot in common anymore and she's much more involved with church stuff and her kids and stuff now, but I still feel a great deal of empathy for those little missionary kids. I know what their lives are like while on their mission so I try to be a little extra nice if I can. I'm not gonna convert and I'm not going to invite them in for Bible study or anything, but I like to try to talk to them like any other person.
I actually knew nothing about this stuff!
I know absolutely nothing about Mormons other than the fact that they can take multiple wives (because they've been compared to Islam in this respect). So, do they actually HAVE to go door to door trying to convert people? I'm a bit confused... Are they the same as the Jehovah's Witnesses that everyone pretends not to be home for? Or are they different? I don't know anything about Jehovah's Witnesses, either, other than that everyone wants to hide from them... 0 -
Children get baptized into the faith at 8, so that will be when the pressure might start from his family. Although if he's married 'outside' he might not be devout enough to be so bothered by this.
Yes, no alcohol and no caffiene. There's an old teaching called The Word of Wisdom which prohibits 'hot drinks' which is taken to mean tea and coffee and therefore caffiene. However, some people are a bit flexible on this and will drink Coke and Mountain Dew instead. Sounds like your SIL is in the former camp - he might appreciate another cold drink, or he may appreciate the chance to show off how righteous he is by declining all beverages. Some Mormons are like that.
Ask me!Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
In my city there are very few Muslims. I know NONE personally, which is why I'm completely clueless but fascinated. And you are completely right: it's the fear of offending that keeps us from asking questions causes confusion and misunderstandings.
My step-daughter is married to a Mormon and I have several questions I'd like to ask him, but I don't out of fear of offending him. Hmmm.... perhaps this is something I need to work on.
Okay, just a few random ones:
Alcohol - that's a general "no", right? What about caffeine? I over heard someone the other day say that Mormons don't drink caffeine, but it was while standing in line at the grocery store and I couldn't tell if they were serious or what. I've never heard of that, but it concerns me because I know my SIL doesn't drink alcohol so whenever they are at our house I offer iced tea and pop, but he generally just has water. If this is true I feel badly and need to have lemonade or something on hand.
The cross - big thing for Catholics, but not for Mormons. I understood it to be because the cross has a negative association with Jesus. Is that true? If so, that makes sense to me. It always creeped me out a bit when Catholics have crosses all over with Jesus portrayed as nailed to them. Plain ones I can understand. ***This is not meant to offend anyone. I'm just curious, but I can take this offline if it bothers anyone.***
The cross thing is correct, the cross is a symbol of Jesus's death, and they prefer to celebrate his life.
Ask anything else. I'm unoffendable (is that a word). I left the faith when I was 18 but remain interested because I still have many friends in it.
Very interesting - thank you! My son-in-law isn't as much into it as his parents are, but I did not know about the caffeine thing! Neither does my husband. I'll tell him tonight and I will have alternative drinks on hand for him.
So far, they are compromising as far as religion. They were married in a church, but it was non-denominational. My step-daughter was raised Catholic (by her mother) and had lots of crosses, but she doesn't have any in their house now. They have 2 small children, so it will be interesting to see how that goes. They did not baptize them in the Catholic church so I think they are just going to stay non-denominational.
0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
You're awesome. I like to think (optimistically) that in my area (which has a lot of new Canadians and also quite a large Islamic Academy private school) we're pretty accepting and knowledgeable about the larger minority groups in our city, but I know it isn't always the case and, speaking for myself, I don't know anyone who grew up in the Middle East (apart from some friends who grew up in expat compounds), so I find your life especially interesting. All my Muslim acquaintances are at least second-generation Canadians so I've never heard much about day-to-day life somewhere like Saudi Arabia or Oman.
Aww, thank you! I hope you're right, but I do doubt that everyone in a particular area is accepting and knowledgeable about Muslims. But I guess finding someone who is from/lives in the Middle East can be a new experience!
I once saw a guy in an online chatroom talking about how he worked in Saudi Arabia and how everyone owned a camel and used them to get to work and school, and everyone lived in tents. I thought it was ridiculously stupid of him to do that--it just promotes making Arabs look like a bunch of backwards weirdos. I don't think he had actually visited the Middle East in his life. -_-
Sounds like something akin to every person from Texas owning a horse and having an oil well in their back yard. I live there and know it isn't true, just the stereotype that gets put out there.
Ahh, the oil well. We have that stereotype too, being from the Gulf. Some people in a chat room used to refer to me and my sister as oil princesses. And then they were shocked when they found out that everyone in the Gulf is not, in fact, a millionaire. O.o0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »
No, I haven't, and I'd probably un-friend anyone who did. I rarely have time (or interest, to be honest) to look at anyone else's diary, and I'd find it disconcerting if someone started giving me a hard time about my butter consumption.kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »I like being friends with the people from this thread.
Because I know nobody will put their judgy pants on when they see my diary.
Have you guys seriously had people judge you about your diaries?
I don't recall ever having anyone judge anything I ate but I think I had someone question me about my sodium intake a few times.
The only time I would judge someone about their food diary or delete them would be from them eating under 1,000 calories everyday.
I would only give constructive criticism if someone asked for it & usually only looked at food diaries to see if I could get any new food ideas. Personally I found looking at food diaries to be tedious.
I haven't had anyone judge me. But I've heard of it happening on here. Just random trolls I suspect.
Just selfconscious I suspect on my part.
Same here! I've had friends comment and it made me feel weird because I rarely even look at anyone else's dairy
I do comment, but usually only to demand a recipe for things that look delicious, or to tell a friend who's struggling with protein (for example) that she did really great on her protein today, and well done. I hope it doesn't make anyone feel weird!
No, nothing like that. More like I see you had turkey jerky, yuck, I don't like that0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »
Special needs kid. Not good at organising himself. Trusts his useless mother to do it for him.quiksylver296 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »
And now I feel worse because my husband asked why I didn't drive him to school. I don't know why - I should have, I was just in such a panic I wasn't thinking straight.Oh, I am such a bad mother! My son is in the middle of diploma exams - I checked the calendar a dozen times and wrote down that his last two exams are on Monday. Got a call from the school at 9.34 saying that he should be in an exam right now and that they'd let him in if he got there by 10.00. I hauled him out of bed and thrust the car keys in his hand. He should be able to get there on time. I'm shaking. How could I have messed up so badly?
Not judging, but if he's old enough to drive...why isn't he keeping his own exam schedule?
I kinda thought that, too. (But not judging!)
I called the school and he did get there in time. So he wasn't prepared, but at least he's there.
Gotcha. Sorry.
ETA: I remember that now. Confession: I suck at remembering everyone's life details.
Same here. I kind of feel bad because everyone else seems to remember so many details about everyone else. I do read everything but I guess I have a bad memory.
0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Does anyone get in food ruts? There's nothing I want to eat, so whatever I make doesn't really satisfie me... I guess that's why I've been snacking so much the last couple days.
I hate this! I tell myself that I will eat better tomorrow but I can't even think of anything I want to have for breakfast... that just sucks. Nothing just sounds appealing. Except junk. I'm feeling gross and disappointed in myself for eating 700 calories over maintenance today... mostly from granola bars etc.
I pretty much eat the same thing every day. When I don't eat that thing I get sad and wish I had eaten it. I like my food rut. Then I get tired and switch to a new habit!
Me too! Current food obsession: Peanut butter chocolate oatmeal. I get so sad if I don't get to eat it every day, it feels like I missed something awesome.0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »We decided to have a little White Trash Date Night last night and went to Red Lobster. My husband and I both worked at the Olive Garden when we were nineteen or so, and occasionally we get cravings for those stupid cheese biscuits that cannot be denied (a souvenir of the illicit parking-lot trades we used to do with the RL servers: bags of breadsticks for bags of biscuits.)
I can't believe we still eat that garbage once a year, but it was kind of fun anyway. It feels like returning to 1995 every time you walk inside. And every drink on the drink menu is sweet and slushy. And everything comes frozen out of a bag and then fried. It's so bizarre! But the less said about the clientele, the better (because, uh, no judgement....but wow. I mean, I get that it's a terrible restaurant and all, but are your cartoon-themed pyjamas really the appropriate sartorial choice for being out in public? They look great with your trucker hat and stained, white-with-no-bra tank top though...)
Bizarro-world, man.
Sound to me like the Wal-Mart of restaurants
What's funny to me is that the Red Lobster restaurant is considered a really upscale, super fancy restaurant here. We went there ONE time, just to try it, and spent almost 150 USD on our dinner. O.o If that's low-class, I can't afford to be high class!
That IS funny. Here they have a real reputation as, like....hillbilly fine dining. A lot of jokes get made because of the whole "People of Walmart" vibe. When we worked at the Olive Garden we could be pretty cruel about it in the kitchen, which I feel kinda bad about...but then when we now go to eat Cheddar Bay biscuits and deep-fried coconut shrimp and see people changing their babies on the table and saying things like "Gross, it smells like fish or something in here!" or yelling at the servers to bring them another Budweiser, we remember why we made so much fun back in the day as we glopped premade alfredo sauce out of a 10 gallon bucket onto everything.
But they are definitely not expensive here, either...my husband got something hilariously called the "Admiral's Feast" last night that came with a starter salad, lobster, crab legs, shrimp, and two sides and it was like $30 and one of the most expensive things on the menu. For comparison, where we live, a steak at a mid-priced chain (not a fine-dining kind of place but not bottom of the barrel) can easily run that same price or up to about $40, and a burger at a sit-down, inexpensive diner kind of place will often be around $15.
It's just a weird, anachronistic kind of place, at least here, a weird holdout from the 90s with gross carpet and vaguely sticky menus.
They make a Red Lobster mix that you can make your own cheddar bay biscuits. I found it at Wal-Mart.
Would it interest anyone to know that I have a recipe for Red Lobster's Cheddar Bay biscuits that you can make at home, which the reviews say taste exactly like the real thing? 0 -
No, I haven't, and I'd probably un-friend anyone who did. I rarely have time (or interest, to be honest) to look at anyone else's diary, and I'd find it disconcerting if someone started giving me a hard time about my butter consumption.kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »I like being friends with the people from this thread.
Because I know nobody will put their judgy pants on when they see my diary.
Have you guys seriously had people judge you about your diaries?
I don't recall ever having anyone judge anything I ate but I think I had someone question me about my sodium intake a few times.
The only time I would judge someone about their food diary or delete them would be from them eating under 1,000 calories everyday.
I would only give constructive criticism if someone asked for it & usually only looked at food diaries to see if I could get any new food ideas. Personally I found looking at food diaries to be tedious.
Mmmm, butter.
I only look at my friend's food diaries if a) I have the time, b) there were a lot of comments made about it, c) to see if they had Dr. Pepper and still managed to stay under their goal, d) curiosity, e) new food ideas, or f) boredom and waiting for this thread to catch up.
0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Does anyone get in food ruts? There's nothing I want to eat, so whatever I make doesn't really satisfie me... I guess that's why I've been snacking so much the last couple days.
I hate this! I tell myself that I will eat better tomorrow but I can't even think of anything I want to have for breakfast... that just sucks. Nothing just sounds appealing. Except junk. I'm feeling gross and disappointed in myself for eating 700 calories over maintenance today... mostly from granola bars etc.
I pretty much eat the same thing every day. When I don't eat that thing I get sad and wish I had eaten it. I like my food rut. Then I get tired and switch to a new habit!
Me too! Current food obsession: Peanut butter chocolate oatmeal. I get so sad if I don't get to eat it every day, it feels like I missed something awesome.
Why... why would you tell me this exists? Or why was I not informed of this sooner?! Peanut butter chocolate oatmeal is literally all my (food) vices in one places. I need to find out how to make this ASAP.0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »We decided to have a little White Trash Date Night last night and went to Red Lobster. My husband and I both worked at the Olive Garden when we were nineteen or so, and occasionally we get cravings for those stupid cheese biscuits that cannot be denied (a souvenir of the illicit parking-lot trades we used to do with the RL servers: bags of breadsticks for bags of biscuits.)
I can't believe we still eat that garbage once a year, but it was kind of fun anyway. It feels like returning to 1995 every time you walk inside. And every drink on the drink menu is sweet and slushy. And everything comes frozen out of a bag and then fried. It's so bizarre! But the less said about the clientele, the better (because, uh, no judgement....but wow. I mean, I get that it's a terrible restaurant and all, but are your cartoon-themed pyjamas really the appropriate sartorial choice for being out in public? They look great with your trucker hat and stained, white-with-no-bra tank top though...)
Bizarro-world, man.
Sound to me like the Wal-Mart of restaurants
What's funny to me is that the Red Lobster restaurant is considered a really upscale, super fancy restaurant here. We went there ONE time, just to try it, and spent almost 150 USD on our dinner. O.o If that's low-class, I can't afford to be high class!
That IS funny. Here they have a real reputation as, like....hillbilly fine dining. A lot of jokes get made because of the whole "People of Walmart" vibe. When we worked at the Olive Garden we could be pretty cruel about it in the kitchen, which I feel kinda bad about...but then when we now go to eat Cheddar Bay biscuits and deep-fried coconut shrimp and see people changing their babies on the table and saying things like "Gross, it smells like fish or something in here!" or yelling at the servers to bring them another Budweiser, we remember why we made so much fun back in the day as we glopped premade alfredo sauce out of a 10 gallon bucket onto everything.
But they are definitely not expensive here, either...my husband got something hilariously called the "Admiral's Feast" last night that came with a starter salad, lobster, crab legs, shrimp, and two sides and it was like $30 and one of the most expensive things on the menu. For comparison, where we live, a steak at a mid-priced chain (not a fine-dining kind of place but not bottom of the barrel) can easily run that same price or up to about $40, and a burger at a sit-down, inexpensive diner kind of place will often be around $15.
It's just a weird, anachronistic kind of place, at least here, a weird holdout from the 90s with gross carpet and vaguely sticky menus.
They make a Red Lobster mix that you can make your own cheddar bay biscuits. I found it at Wal-Mart.
Even better, I make my own with Bisquick, cheddar cheese, butter, garlic salt, and some baking powder. OMG so frickin good!0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Agree - most mormons are nice, normal people. But the deep theology is extremely complex (and contradictory) and most have only a very basic understanding of it.
They love it until you ask awkward questions, then you won't see them for dust. There are a lot of awkward questions to ask.berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
In my city there are very few Muslims. I know NONE personally, which is why I'm completely clueless but fascinated. And you are completely right: it's the fear of offending that keeps us from asking questions causes confusion and misunderstandings.
My step-daughter is married to a Mormon and I have several questions I'd like to ask him, but I don't out of fear of offending him. Hmmm.... perhaps this is something I need to work on.
In my experience, Mormons love to talk about their faith, they even stop by your house to tell you about it when they don't know you! I think you have a good chance of him being very open to discussing it with you. No offense to any Mormons here - every Mormon I personally know is extremely kind and nice to be around.
Eh, depends on how you ask and who you ask, I think.
One of my best friends from school is LDS and I don't think she ever refused to explain anything to me or got offended when I asked questions. She knew I didn't mean to hurt her if I didn't phrase something right, but I still made sure to say things like "Can you explain what your church believes about what happens when we die?" instead of "What's up with that whole baptizing the dead thing?"
I learned a ton about the LDS faith from her and I'm really grateful for the knowledge - it's saved me from putting my foot in my mouth when I meet Mormons often.
And bonus, when missionaries come to my door (which seems to happen a couple times a year) I can say "Oh, my friend so-and-so is in such-and-such ward, do you know her or her husband?" and then something like "I'll be sure to ask her about any questions I have about the Book of Mormon. Have a nice day!" That approach only takes a minute of my day and I know the missionaries appreciate getting treated like actual people. And selfishly, I really like that I don't have to feel like a jerk and that I might have brightened their day a little bit by actually being kind.
I'm not close to my friend anymore as we took very different paths and don't have a lot in common anymore and she's much more involved with church stuff and her kids and stuff now, but I still feel a great deal of empathy for those little missionary kids. I know what their lives are like while on their mission so I try to be a little extra nice if I can. I'm not gonna convert and I'm not going to invite them in for Bible study or anything, but I like to try to talk to them like any other person.
I actually knew nothing about this stuff! I know absolutely nothing about Mormons other than the fact that they can take multiple wives (because they've been compared to Islam in this respect). So, do they actually HAVE to go door to door trying to convert people? I'm a bit confused... Are they the same as the Jehovah's Witnesses that everyone pretends not to be home for? Or are they different? I don't know anything about Jehovah's Witnesses, either, other than that everyone wants to hide from them...
Mainline Mormons don't practice polygamy. There's a small subsect called FLDS (Fundamentalist Latter-Day Saints) who do, but mainstream Mormons don't consider them part of their faith anymore.
The door-to-door thing is something that young men (and women, optionally) do for a couple years after high school. They refer to it as going on a "mission" and they can be sent anywhere in the world by the church to do it. You can refuse to go (or the elders etc. can decide that you're not suitable and decline to send you), but it's essential to being part of their "priesthood" (as I understand it) for men and those who don't go often face difficulties with their role/involvement in the church and community.
0 -
But that's true, right?Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
You're awesome. I like to think (optimistically) that in my area (which has a lot of new Canadians and also quite a large Islamic Academy private school) we're pretty accepting and knowledgeable about the larger minority groups in our city, but I know it isn't always the case and, speaking for myself, I don't know anyone who grew up in the Middle East (apart from some friends who grew up in expat compounds), so I find your life especially interesting. All my Muslim acquaintances are at least second-generation Canadians so I've never heard much about day-to-day life somewhere like Saudi Arabia or Oman.
Aww, thank you! I hope you're right, but I do doubt that everyone in a particular area is accepting and knowledgeable about Muslims. But I guess finding someone who is from/lives in the Middle East can be a new experience!
I once saw a guy in an online chatroom talking about how he worked in Saudi Arabia and how everyone owned a camel and used them to get to work and school, and everyone lived in tents. I thought it was ridiculously stupid of him to do that--it just promotes making Arabs look like a bunch of backwards weirdos. I don't think he had actually visited the Middle East in his life. -_-
Sounds like something akin to every person from Texas owning a horse and having an oil well in their back yard. I live there and know it isn't true, just the stereotype that gets put out there.
Oh yeah, and I like to make sure I have my ten gallon hat on right before I saddle up to head in to town. 0 -
Glad your 'team' is behind you. Is your sister even involved in Charlie's life?orangesmartie wrote: »[orangesmartie wrote: »It never rains but it pours!
Got home today, checked on mum all gone well, just wait for further biopsy results to make they got it all.
My dad said my sister's social worker rang yesterday. Some of you may remember I mentioned previously my parents and I have custody of her 2 year old son and she is pregnant again. Anyway, it seems that the picture is bleak for the unborn child ( a little girl) and the social are minded to take this one into care when she's born, and they wanted to know if we'd have her.
Of course the answer is yes. But I can't tell you how tired and stressed that makes me feel already. My mum and I run our own company together, but she will have to give up work to care for baby, so the earning to keep us falls on me and my dad only. Not to mention the burden of caring for a baby and a toddler. I can't leave my parents to do it all on their own, but I feel exhausted just thinking about a baby.
I.never wanted children.
And my nanna blabbed to my mum something I said at the weekend (when drunk) about finding driving home every weekend and having Charlie tiring. Which is true, doesn't mean I don't want to do it.
But now my mum is horribly upset. And it's the last thing she needs.
So tonight, everything will be eaten. And I am enjoying one night in lazy solitude. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no child, no expectations, just me, my sofa, my TV and some ice cream
That is so rough. I'm sorry. But it's not your responsibility... will you just keep taking the kids if she keeps getting pregnant? I mean, I can't even imagine how hard it must be, but you shouldn't have to ruin your life (same for your mother) because your sister is irresponsible.
This child needs to be where she'll be wanted. And I'm not judging you because I completely get it. If I had to take care of another child now I'd be devastated, and I did want children. But it's not the best for you, and it's probably not the best for her... Wishing you the best though.
No we won't keep taking kids, because I will make it a condition that the social apply to the court for a forcible sterilisation order so there are no more. We can't afford more (apologies if that offends people, I don't want to open the birth control debate).
I appreciate the honesty of your thoughts, and I don't take it as judgement. I understand what you say about the child being wanted. And she will be. She will be as loved and adored as Charlie is now, the children do not make these choices. I do. And they will get the best of everything I can give them, including me. Those children will never know the resentment I feel towards their mother.
My partners have already been on the phone planning how we make this work.
No she isn't. She makes arrangements, but then fails to turn up. Or turns up and has no money to take him out, so wants to sit around my parents house all day. I refuse to allow her in my house.quiksylver296 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »[orangesmartie wrote: »It never rains but it pours!
Got home today, checked on mum all gone well, just wait for further biopsy results to make they got it all.
My dad said my sister's social worker rang yesterday. Some of you may remember I mentioned previously my parents and I have custody of her 2 year old son and she is pregnant again. Anyway, it seems that the picture is bleak for the unborn child ( a little girl) and the social are minded to take this one into care when she's born, and they wanted to know if we'd have her.
Of course the answer is yes. But I can't tell you how tired and stressed that makes me feel already. My mum and I run our own company together, but she will have to give up work to care for baby, so the earning to keep us falls on me and my dad only. Not to mention the burden of caring for a baby and a toddler. I can't leave my parents to do it all on their own, but I feel exhausted just thinking about a baby.
I.never wanted children.
And my nanna blabbed to my mum something I said at the weekend (when drunk) about finding driving home every weekend and having Charlie tiring. Which is true, doesn't mean I don't want to do it.
But now my mum is horribly upset. And it's the last thing she needs.
So tonight, everything will be eaten. And I am enjoying one night in lazy solitude. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no child, no expectations, just me, my sofa, my TV and some ice cream
That is so rough. I'm sorry. But it's not your responsibility... will you just keep taking the kids if she keeps getting pregnant? I mean, I can't even imagine how hard it must be, but you shouldn't have to ruin your life (same for your mother) because your sister is irresponsible.
This child needs to be where she'll be wanted. And I'm not judging you because I completely get it. If I had to take care of another child now I'd be devastated, and I did want children. But it's not the best for you, and it's probably not the best for her... Wishing you the best though.
No we won't keep taking kids, because I will make it a condition that the social apply to the court for a forcible sterilisation order so there are no more. We can't afford more (apologies if that offends people, I don't want to open the birth control debate).
I appreciate the honesty of your thoughts, and I don't take it as judgement. I understand what you say about the child being wanted. And she will be. She will be as loved and adored as Charlie is now, the children do not make these choices. I do. And they will get the best of everything I can give them, including me. Those children will never know the resentment I feel towards their mother.
My partners have already been on the phone planning how we make this work.
That would NEVER happen in the States. She could have 19 kids (and counting... ) and the courts would say that is her right. I like your way better.
Its not a usual thing here either. We'd have to jump through a lot hoops just to try and have this go through. Its mainly used in cases where the mother has severe learning/developmental issues and cannot understand the consequences of sex nor care for resulting children. We'd also have to prove undue burden on the state and us. And these applications are granted only very rarely.
I know there will be a lot of people silently judging me for saying it. Its not something I would normally advocate, but i don't know what other options there are
0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Does anyone get in food ruts? There's nothing I want to eat, so whatever I make doesn't really satisfie me... I guess that's why I've been snacking so much the last couple days.
I hate this! I tell myself that I will eat better tomorrow but I can't even think of anything I want to have for breakfast... that just sucks. Nothing just sounds appealing. Except junk. I'm feeling gross and disappointed in myself for eating 700 calories over maintenance today... mostly from granola bars etc.
I pretty much eat the same thing every day. When I don't eat that thing I get sad and wish I had eaten it. I like my food rut. Then I get tired and switch to a new habit!
Only problem with my food rut as of late, it tends to include at least one (pint) serving of gelato or ice cream. 0 -
You guys are super chatty! I didn't check this thread over the weekend and it took me until today to get caught up!
I don't usually send friend requests but will if someone says "add me" because I really like having friends on here but please don't judge my diary because it has been a mess lately.
No judging, remember? We're not allowed to wear judgey pants with anyone inside our village even if we're not IN the village at the time.
I really wasn't trying to be judgey! What part did you think was bad? That I called you guys chatty? or when I said my diary has been a mess?0 -
newfutures wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »I like being friends with the people from this thread.
Because I know nobody will put their judgy pants on when they see my diary.
Have you guys seriously had people judge you about your diaries?
I don't recall ever having anyone judge anything I ate but I think I had someone question me about my sodium intake a few times.
The only time I would judge someone about their food diary or delete them would be from them eating under 1,000 calories everyday.
I would only give constructive criticism if someone asked for it & usually only looked at food diaries to see if I could get any new food ideas. Personally I found looking at food diaries to be tedious.
Yes. I had people tell me I eat too much junk. Unfriended very fast too.
why would you delete someone because the amount of calories THEY eat? If they are not trying to force you to eat like that in anyway why does it offend you so much that you should delete them?
First off.. No judgement, remember? Secondly, I follow this philosophy as well--I don't get offended by their choices, I just feel that I can't support someone who is following a dangerous diet. And rather than harp on them multiple times for their choices (It's their life, after all), I gently inform them that this diet is dangerous and harmful to their future health. If they don't take the hint, I don't want to watch the future unfold for them--I'm here for my own health, not to play psychologist, but I can't just watch that happen. It's a bit like cutting yourself off from someone because you don't want to watch them destroy themselves. 0 -
But that's true, right?Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
You're awesome. I like to think (optimistically) that in my area (which has a lot of new Canadians and also quite a large Islamic Academy private school) we're pretty accepting and knowledgeable about the larger minority groups in our city, but I know it isn't always the case and, speaking for myself, I don't know anyone who grew up in the Middle East (apart from some friends who grew up in expat compounds), so I find your life especially interesting. All my Muslim acquaintances are at least second-generation Canadians so I've never heard much about day-to-day life somewhere like Saudi Arabia or Oman.
Aww, thank you! I hope you're right, but I do doubt that everyone in a particular area is accepting and knowledgeable about Muslims. But I guess finding someone who is from/lives in the Middle East can be a new experience!
I once saw a guy in an online chatroom talking about how he worked in Saudi Arabia and how everyone owned a camel and used them to get to work and school, and everyone lived in tents. I thought it was ridiculously stupid of him to do that--it just promotes making Arabs look like a bunch of backwards weirdos. I don't think he had actually visited the Middle East in his life. -_-
Sounds like something akin to every person from Texas owning a horse and having an oil well in their back yard. I live there and know it isn't true, just the stereotype that gets put out there.
Oh yeah, and I like to make sure I have my ten gallon hat on right before I saddle up to head in to town.
Makes me think of the Geico commercial. All the ladies in Texas have big... hair.0 -
My diary is open, although I just started logging again yesterday. You will pretty much see the same foods in it every day anyway- Peanut butter sandwich for breakfast, some kind of frozen entree for lunch, whatever my husband fixes for dinner, and various snacks usually involving chocolate. I almost never look at anyone else's diary.0
-
Agree - most mormons are nice, normal people. But the deep theology is extremely complex (and contradictory) and most have only a very basic understanding of it.
They love it until you ask awkward questions, then you won't see them for dust. There are a lot of awkward questions to ask.berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
In my city there are very few Muslims. I know NONE personally, which is why I'm completely clueless but fascinated. And you are completely right: it's the fear of offending that keeps us from asking questions causes confusion and misunderstandings.
My step-daughter is married to a Mormon and I have several questions I'd like to ask him, but I don't out of fear of offending him. Hmmm.... perhaps this is something I need to work on.
In my experience, Mormons love to talk about their faith, they even stop by your house to tell you about it when they don't know you! I think you have a good chance of him being very open to discussing it with you. No offense to any Mormons here - every Mormon I personally know is extremely kind and nice to be around.
Eh, depends on how you ask and who you ask, I think.
One of my best friends from school is LDS and I don't think she ever refused to explain anything to me or got offended when I asked questions. She knew I didn't mean to hurt her if I didn't phrase something right, but I still made sure to say things like "Can you explain what your church believes about what happens when we die?" instead of "What's up with that whole baptizing the dead thing?"
I learned a ton about the LDS faith from her and I'm really grateful for the knowledge - it's saved me from putting my foot in my mouth when I meet Mormons often.
And bonus, when missionaries come to my door (which seems to happen a couple times a year) I can say "Oh, my friend so-and-so is in such-and-such ward, do you know her or her husband?" and then something like "I'll be sure to ask her about any questions I have about the Book of Mormon. Have a nice day!" That approach only takes a minute of my day and I know the missionaries appreciate getting treated like actual people. And selfishly, I really like that I don't have to feel like a jerk and that I might have brightened their day a little bit by actually being kind.
I'm not close to my friend anymore as we took very different paths and don't have a lot in common anymore and she's much more involved with church stuff and her kids and stuff now, but I still feel a great deal of empathy for those little missionary kids. I know what their lives are like while on their mission so I try to be a little extra nice if I can. I'm not gonna convert and I'm not going to invite them in for Bible study or anything, but I like to try to talk to them like any other person.
True - but I don't think it's much different from other major religions in that respect. Not like your average raised-Catholic-so-Catholic-by-default (for example) is an expert on doctrine and the more esoteric liturgical/canonical practices etc. or whatever. Mainstream Abrahamic religions are also very complex and contradictory (depending on who's interpreting) IMO and I think the average practitioner often doesn't get into that serious theological stuff.
I think religion in general is pretty fascinating although I'm not religious myself. I don't mean that in a condescending way at all, I just think they're incredibly interesting. I love reading religious non-fiction (of any variety), although I recognize how weird that is from someone without a religion.
I'm not religious either, but i am fascinated by religion, and those who do believe.
0 -
Children get baptized into the faith at 8, so that will be when the pressure might start from his family. Although if he's married 'outside' he might not be devout enough to be so bothered by this.
Yes, no alcohol and no caffiene. There's an old teaching called The Word of Wisdom which prohibits 'hot drinks' which is taken to mean tea and coffee and therefore caffiene. However, some people are a bit flexible on this and will drink Coke and Mountain Dew instead. Sounds like your SIL is in the former camp - he might appreciate another cold drink, or he may appreciate the chance to show off how righteous he is by declining all beverages. Some Mormons are like that.
Ask me!Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
In my city there are very few Muslims. I know NONE personally, which is why I'm completely clueless but fascinated. And you are completely right: it's the fear of offending that keeps us from asking questions causes confusion and misunderstandings.
My step-daughter is married to a Mormon and I have several questions I'd like to ask him, but I don't out of fear of offending him. Hmmm.... perhaps this is something I need to work on.
Okay, just a few random ones:
Alcohol - that's a general "no", right? What about caffeine? I over heard someone the other day say that Mormons don't drink caffeine, but it was while standing in line at the grocery store and I couldn't tell if they were serious or what. I've never heard of that, but it concerns me because I know my SIL doesn't drink alcohol so whenever they are at our house I offer iced tea and pop, but he generally just has water. If this is true I feel badly and need to have lemonade or something on hand.
The cross - big thing for Catholics, but not for Mormons. I understood it to be because the cross has a negative association with Jesus. Is that true? If so, that makes sense to me. It always creeped me out a bit when Catholics have crosses all over with Jesus portrayed as nailed to them. Plain ones I can understand. ***This is not meant to offend anyone. I'm just curious, but I can take this offline if it bothers anyone.***
The cross thing is correct, the cross is a symbol of Jesus's death, and they prefer to celebrate his life.
Ask anything else. I'm unoffendable (is that a word). I left the faith when I was 18 but remain interested because I still have many friends in it.
Very interesting - thank you! My son-in-law isn't as much into it as his parents are, but I did not know about the caffeine thing! Neither does my husband. I'll tell him tonight and I will have alternative drinks on hand for him.
So far, they are compromising as far as religion. They were married in a church, but it was non-denominational. My step-daughter was raised Catholic (by her mother) and had lots of crosses, but she doesn't have any in their house now. They have 2 small children, so it will be interesting to see how that goes. They did not baptize them in the Catholic church so I think they are just going to stay non-denominational.
8? Huh. You people on this thread are making me so smart! I'm just bursting with new knowledge every day! This is why I'm sad I cannot keep up with every post, but I'm trying.
Yeah, they weren't even really seriously dating when she suddenly found out she was pregnant. NOT what either one of them had planned. She was very upset and wanted time to figure out what to do, but HIS MOM took her son to go buy a ring and she proceeded to plan the engagement. Thankfully, in spite of things starting out that way, all has worked out well. They got married 6 months after their daughter was born and now have a 7 month old son. All of the families have gotten to know one another and we all get along and socialize regularly.
This is why I always say everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the plans we make for our own lives aren't what is meant to be.0 -
You guys are super chatty! I didn't check this thread over the weekend and it took me until today to get caught up!
I don't usually send friend requests but will if someone says "add me" because I really like having friends on here but please don't judge my diary because it has been a mess lately.
No judging, remember? We're not allowed to wear judgey pants with anyone inside our village even if we're not IN the village at the time.
I really wasn't trying to be judgey! What part did you think was bad? That I called you guys chatty? or when I said my diary has been a mess?
She didn't think any of it was bad. She was saying that SHE wouldn't judge YOU.0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »
Glad your 'team' is behind you. Is your sister even involved in Charlie's life?orangesmartie wrote: »[orangesmartie wrote: »It never rains but it pours!
Got home today, checked on mum all gone well, just wait for further biopsy results to make they got it all.
My dad said my sister's social worker rang yesterday. Some of you may remember I mentioned previously my parents and I have custody of her 2 year old son and she is pregnant again. Anyway, it seems that the picture is bleak for the unborn child ( a little girl) and the social are minded to take this one into care when she's born, and they wanted to know if we'd have her.
Of course the answer is yes. But I can't tell you how tired and stressed that makes me feel already. My mum and I run our own company together, but she will have to give up work to care for baby, so the earning to keep us falls on me and my dad only. Not to mention the burden of caring for a baby and a toddler. I can't leave my parents to do it all on their own, but I feel exhausted just thinking about a baby.
I.never wanted children.
And my nanna blabbed to my mum something I said at the weekend (when drunk) about finding driving home every weekend and having Charlie tiring. Which is true, doesn't mean I don't want to do it.
But now my mum is horribly upset. And it's the last thing she needs.
So tonight, everything will be eaten. And I am enjoying one night in lazy solitude. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no child, no expectations, just me, my sofa, my TV and some ice cream
That is so rough. I'm sorry. But it's not your responsibility... will you just keep taking the kids if she keeps getting pregnant? I mean, I can't even imagine how hard it must be, but you shouldn't have to ruin your life (same for your mother) because your sister is irresponsible.
This child needs to be where she'll be wanted. And I'm not judging you because I completely get it. If I had to take care of another child now I'd be devastated, and I did want children. But it's not the best for you, and it's probably not the best for her... Wishing you the best though.
No we won't keep taking kids, because I will make it a condition that the social apply to the court for a forcible sterilisation order so there are no more. We can't afford more (apologies if that offends people, I don't want to open the birth control debate).
I appreciate the honesty of your thoughts, and I don't take it as judgement. I understand what you say about the child being wanted. And she will be. She will be as loved and adored as Charlie is now, the children do not make these choices. I do. And they will get the best of everything I can give them, including me. Those children will never know the resentment I feel towards their mother.
My partners have already been on the phone planning how we make this work.
No she isn't. She makes arrangements, but then fails to turn up. Or turns up and has no money to take him out, so wants to sit around my parents house all day. I refuse to allow her in my house.quiksylver296 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »[orangesmartie wrote: »It never rains but it pours!
Got home today, checked on mum all gone well, just wait for further biopsy results to make they got it all.
My dad said my sister's social worker rang yesterday. Some of you may remember I mentioned previously my parents and I have custody of her 2 year old son and she is pregnant again. Anyway, it seems that the picture is bleak for the unborn child ( a little girl) and the social are minded to take this one into care when she's born, and they wanted to know if we'd have her.
Of course the answer is yes. But I can't tell you how tired and stressed that makes me feel already. My mum and I run our own company together, but she will have to give up work to care for baby, so the earning to keep us falls on me and my dad only. Not to mention the burden of caring for a baby and a toddler. I can't leave my parents to do it all on their own, but I feel exhausted just thinking about a baby.
I.never wanted children.
And my nanna blabbed to my mum something I said at the weekend (when drunk) about finding driving home every weekend and having Charlie tiring. Which is true, doesn't mean I don't want to do it.
But now my mum is horribly upset. And it's the last thing she needs.
So tonight, everything will be eaten. And I am enjoying one night in lazy solitude. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no child, no expectations, just me, my sofa, my TV and some ice cream
That is so rough. I'm sorry. But it's not your responsibility... will you just keep taking the kids if she keeps getting pregnant? I mean, I can't even imagine how hard it must be, but you shouldn't have to ruin your life (same for your mother) because your sister is irresponsible.
This child needs to be where she'll be wanted. And I'm not judging you because I completely get it. If I had to take care of another child now I'd be devastated, and I did want children. But it's not the best for you, and it's probably not the best for her... Wishing you the best though.
No we won't keep taking kids, because I will make it a condition that the social apply to the court for a forcible sterilisation order so there are no more. We can't afford more (apologies if that offends people, I don't want to open the birth control debate).
I appreciate the honesty of your thoughts, and I don't take it as judgement. I understand what you say about the child being wanted. And she will be. She will be as loved and adored as Charlie is now, the children do not make these choices. I do. And they will get the best of everything I can give them, including me. Those children will never know the resentment I feel towards their mother.
My partners have already been on the phone planning how we make this work.
That would NEVER happen in the States. She could have 19 kids (and counting... ) and the courts would say that is her right. I like your way better.
Its not a usual thing here either. We'd have to jump through a lot hoops just to try and have this go through. Its mainly used in cases where the mother has severe learning/developmental issues and cannot understand the consequences of sex nor care for resulting children. We'd also have to prove undue burden on the state and us. And these applications are granted only very rarely.
I know there will be a lot of people silently judging me for saying it. Its not something I would normally advocate, but i don't know what other options there are
Absolutely no judgment here- I think I've mentioned it before but I work in child support enforcement..judge me all you want but there are TONS of people who shouldn't be allowed to reproduce and should be mandated to be "fixed".0 -
Yep, I can see how that'd do it.xMrBunglex wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Can I just say how awesome this thread has become?
Yes, it started out about trash bags, peanut butter, and hot chocolate powder, but it has evolved into a community within the MFP community where people actually CARE and SUPPORT one another through stupid decisions, horrible situations, and hilarious escapades.
You all rock. And if I wasn't super lazy, I would finally get around to friend requesting the rest of the regular posters.
Super great.
Speaking of stupid decisions, I confess that when I was 20 (way back in 1989...YIKES), I was living on my own for the first time. Cut all my rocker hair off & was bummed how fat I looked.
I then went on a crash diet that consisted of the following:
Breakfast: Can of Diet Coke
Morning Snack: Can of Diet Coke
Lunch: Turkey sandwich (2 pieces of bread, 1 slice of deli turkey, 1 slice of deli swiss, mustard)
Afternoon Snack: Can of Diet Coke
Workout: 45-60 minutes on a cheap-*kitten* rowing machine I had in my apartment
Dinner: 6 pack of Bud Light tall boys
I was a chubby 210 lbs when I started, and a thin 165 after 4 months. From there I started weight training.
I'd get slaughtered for suggesting this in 2015, but....I lived to tell the tale
Edited to add: Just did the MFP calculator:
1100 in
497 out
BMR: 1,985
Daily Deficit: 1,382
that's about 3 lbs per week - the maths add up!
Oh god. I've never shared this one, but you've inspired me, lol. So I was 28 and weighed 112. I decided I "needed" to weigh 100 (ex-husband who always told me I looked out-of-shape + my tendencies toward being a perfectionist + coming from a family where I was the "smart one" but my mom and sister were models who just never thought I looked good + just general stupidity). My brilliant "diet"?
Breakfast: Coffee and a Ry-Krisp
Morning snack: Half an apple and a Diet Pepsi
Lunch: a slice of turkey, a slice of cheese, and the other half of the apple
Afternoon snack: Diet Pepsi and cocaine (yep)
Late afternoon: 2.5 hour workout: free weights, elliptical, and swimming
Dinner: Vegetable soup or a salad with no dressing, wine, and more cocaine
So yeah. I reached 100 pounds that way, but also spiraled into an increasingly crazy lifestyle until I simply decided enough was enough and did what I needed to do (which is another story I don't need to bore you with).
I am glad to step in and try to let MFP posters and others know that they don't NEED that latest fad diet or "diet aid". But I try to be at least somewhat gentle/compassionate because I know too well how insane we get when we're desperately trying to reach some stupidly unrealistic goal, are surrounded by ill-informed or toxic people, and have no clue about what real health really means.
Confession: My son was briefly on ADHD meds but he reacted badly to them. There's still about a month's supply in our medicine cabinet and I'd be a liar if I said I hadn't thought more than once about taking them to see if they'd help me shift the last 10 lbs. It's basically speed.
oh my, I missed the cocaine part on that confession. Totally bypassed it when someone else had quoted it previously! I tried cocaine once, sniffed it (had a cold and basically sneezed it out) got a headache and went to bed. I don't like to do anything that is addicting, too afraid I'll get addicted! Never tried it again. I have heard that is how a lot of super models stay so thin!0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »Confession - I finally started another book yesterday, after taking a reading break for a while because I wasn't totally over my last one yet (what can I say... I get very attached to some characters LOL).
And now I'm annoyed because I can't read. My son was home this morning because he was sick, and now both are here and they need me or watch some cartoons so I can't read it in peace... and I need peace to be able to read. With the kids last day of school tomorrow, I have no idea when I'll get to it... I guess I need to learn to just tune the kids/TV out... And I still really want to keep watching X Files at night too!
I've gotten almost too good and tuning out so I can read. I think it's a coping mechanism because I have SPD and too much noise freaks me out. Great idea having 3 kids, self! I can relate to feeling like your break was messed up though. I hope you can get some peace later. I still make my bigger kids have a quiet time some afternoons now that they don't nap. Any chance of that?
Hahaha! This is funny. I don't mean to make light of your SPD, but we all have our strengths and weaknesses and I'm guessing this gives you extra ability to understand your children and their individual needs.0 -
I think she was saying that no one would be judgey about your diary?You guys are super chatty! I didn't check this thread over the weekend and it took me until today to get caught up!
I don't usually send friend requests but will if someone says "add me" because I really like having friends on here but please don't judge my diary because it has been a mess lately.
No judging, remember? We're not allowed to wear judgey pants with anyone inside our village even if we're not IN the village at the time.
I really wasn't trying to be judgey! What part did you think was bad? That I called you guys chatty? or when I said my diary has been a mess?
0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »[orangesmartie wrote: »It never rains but it pours!
Got home today, checked on mum all gone well, just wait for further biopsy results to make they got it all.
My dad said my sister's social worker rang yesterday. Some of you may remember I mentioned previously my parents and I have custody of her 2 year old son and she is pregnant again. Anyway, it seems that the picture is bleak for the unborn child ( a little girl) and the social are minded to take this one into care when she's born, and they wanted to know if we'd have her.
Of course the answer is yes. But I can't tell you how tired and stressed that makes me feel already. My mum and I run our own company together, but she will have to give up work to care for baby, so the earning to keep us falls on me and my dad only. Not to mention the burden of caring for a baby and a toddler. I can't leave my parents to do it all on their own, but I feel exhausted just thinking about a baby.
I.never wanted children.
And my nanna blabbed to my mum something I said at the weekend (when drunk) about finding driving home every weekend and having Charlie tiring. Which is true, doesn't mean I don't want to do it.
But now my mum is horribly upset. And it's the last thing she needs.
So tonight, everything will be eaten. And I am enjoying one night in lazy solitude. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no child, no expectations, just me, my sofa, my TV and some ice cream
That is so rough. I'm sorry. But it's not your responsibility... will you just keep taking the kids if she keeps getting pregnant? I mean, I can't even imagine how hard it must be, but you shouldn't have to ruin your life (same for your mother) because your sister is irresponsible.
This child needs to be where she'll be wanted. And I'm not judging you because I completely get it. If I had to take care of another child now I'd be devastated, and I did want children. But it's not the best for you, and it's probably not the best for her... Wishing you the best though.
No we won't keep taking kids, because I will make it a condition that the social apply to the court for a forcible sterilisation order so there are no more. We can't afford more (apologies if that offends people, I don't want to open the birth control debate).
I appreciate the honesty of your thoughts, and I don't take it as judgement. I understand what you say about the child being wanted. And she will be. She will be as loved and adored as Charlie is now, the children do not make these choices. I do. And they will get the best of everything I can give them, including me. Those children will never know the resentment I feel towards their mother.
My partners have already been on the phone planning how we make this work.
That would NEVER happen in the States. She could have 19 kids (and counting... ) and the courts would say that is her right. I like your way better.
Oh, this, for sure. I REALLY wish they could enforce this here.0 -
But that's true, right?Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
You're awesome. I like to think (optimistically) that in my area (which has a lot of new Canadians and also quite a large Islamic Academy private school) we're pretty accepting and knowledgeable about the larger minority groups in our city, but I know it isn't always the case and, speaking for myself, I don't know anyone who grew up in the Middle East (apart from some friends who grew up in expat compounds), so I find your life especially interesting. All my Muslim acquaintances are at least second-generation Canadians so I've never heard much about day-to-day life somewhere like Saudi Arabia or Oman.
Aww, thank you! I hope you're right, but I do doubt that everyone in a particular area is accepting and knowledgeable about Muslims. But I guess finding someone who is from/lives in the Middle East can be a new experience!
I once saw a guy in an online chatroom talking about how he worked in Saudi Arabia and how everyone owned a camel and used them to get to work and school, and everyone lived in tents. I thought it was ridiculously stupid of him to do that--it just promotes making Arabs look like a bunch of backwards weirdos. I don't think he had actually visited the Middle East in his life. -_-
Sounds like something akin to every person from Texas owning a horse and having an oil well in their back yard. I live there and know it isn't true, just the stereotype that gets put out there.
Oh yeah, and I like to make sure I have my ten gallon hat on right before I saddle up to head in to town.
I adored Texas when i was there a few years ago (we went to a lot of different tourist towns) and i so wanted a ten gallon hat, but they were over $100 dollars each!
0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »You guys are super chatty! I didn't check this thread over the weekend and it took me until today to get caught up!
I don't usually send friend requests but will if someone says "add me" because I really like having friends on here but please don't judge my diary because it has been a mess lately.
No judging, remember? We're not allowed to wear judgey pants with anyone inside our village even if we're not IN the village at the time.
I really wasn't trying to be judgey! What part did you think was bad? That I called you guys chatty? or when I said my diary has been a mess?
She didn't think any of it was bad. She was saying that SHE wouldn't judge YOU.
Ohhhh! I get it now thanks 0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »
You don't like tomatoes on your salad?Italian_Buju wrote: »
Exactly!rungirl1973 wrote: »
I love sweet/savoury together too. I also love hot and cold things together, which I know a lot of people think it weird (fries with salad, custard (English style) with a big blob of vanilla ice cream etc.riderfangal wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »FOR ORANGESMARTIE:
Keep on climbing that mountain, baby steps at a time. Sending all good wishes for your mum's surgery today. Have you taken your pill today? If not, go and do it now... Right now... Good. (((HUGS)))
Thank you everyone for supportive messages.
I have taken my tablets today and yesterday.
@MoHousdon I love the idea that this is a village. I'm imagining us all in little English country cottages, nattering over the garden fence and on the village green
Good for you!
I would love that! As long as I can eat cookies and have tea. I would make an EXCELLENT English person/woman. Plus, I do a pretty good English accent.
I may have been doing one in my head just then.
Here, you have biscuits and tea. Cookies are 'merican
Alright, biscuits, then.
Biscuits always brings hard cookies to my mind, like Oreos or Digestives. Not that I have anything against them, but I want soft, chewy, gooey COOKIES! Or you know what? Gimme a scone. With butter.
I miss scones. Never been able to enjoy one since my Grandma passed away. She made the best and always made a special batch for me without raisins. I hate raisins!!
Count me in on the raisin-hating wagon!! In traditional Arabian dishes, raisins are popular to put into the rice. Makes me want to gag when I accidentally pop one into my mouth... X_X I *HATE* raisins. By themselves they're bad enough, but they absolutely ruin food for me when they're put into things like cookies or puddings. :-/
I am quite known for telling people that raisins "do not belong in food."
I do have a bag of the super tiny boxes in my office though. They're good for blood sugar headaches. Stupid raisins.
My mom always put raisins in the stuffing at Thanksgiving. I love it and thought everybody did that until the first time I cooked Thanksgiving dinner for my husband. He was like "what the hell is this?!". LMAO 11 years later and he still fears the raisins.
I put dried cranberries in mine. Yummy.
No, no, no, fruit does not belong in stuffing..not judging though
I'm one of those weird people who like sweet and savory in the same dishes. I also like to add golden raisins to my vegetable salads. Just for a tiny sweet burst. I put them in my homemade applesauce, too.
Hot and cold? Hot fudge sundae or a warm brownie or piece of pie topped with ice cream. Yum!
Sweet and savory? I'm not a fan. I don't even like sweet dressing on my salad or fruit. Strawberries on a salad? No thank you, I'll have a salad and strawberries after for dessert.
I have never understood fruit on a veggie salad.....
Nope, sure don't. Cranberry, yes, tomato, no.
I pull all tomatoes out of my salad. And all food. I only like them in tomato sauce.
I sent back soft tacos at Taco Bell because they were loaded with tomatoes and asked for no tomatoes. I was cranky that day.
0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »
Yep, I can see how that'd do it.xMrBunglex wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »Can I just say how awesome this thread has become?
Yes, it started out about trash bags, peanut butter, and hot chocolate powder, but it has evolved into a community within the MFP community where people actually CARE and SUPPORT one another through stupid decisions, horrible situations, and hilarious escapades.
You all rock. And if I wasn't super lazy, I would finally get around to friend requesting the rest of the regular posters.
Super great.
Speaking of stupid decisions, I confess that when I was 20 (way back in 1989...YIKES), I was living on my own for the first time. Cut all my rocker hair off & was bummed how fat I looked.
I then went on a crash diet that consisted of the following:
Breakfast: Can of Diet Coke
Morning Snack: Can of Diet Coke
Lunch: Turkey sandwich (2 pieces of bread, 1 slice of deli turkey, 1 slice of deli swiss, mustard)
Afternoon Snack: Can of Diet Coke
Workout: 45-60 minutes on a cheap-*kitten* rowing machine I had in my apartment
Dinner: 6 pack of Bud Light tall boys
I was a chubby 210 lbs when I started, and a thin 165 after 4 months. From there I started weight training.
I'd get slaughtered for suggesting this in 2015, but....I lived to tell the tale
Edited to add: Just did the MFP calculator:
1100 in
497 out
BMR: 1,985
Daily Deficit: 1,382
that's about 3 lbs per week - the maths add up!
Oh god. I've never shared this one, but you've inspired me, lol. So I was 28 and weighed 112. I decided I "needed" to weigh 100 (ex-husband who always told me I looked out-of-shape + my tendencies toward being a perfectionist + coming from a family where I was the "smart one" but my mom and sister were models who just never thought I looked good + just general stupidity). My brilliant "diet"?
Breakfast: Coffee and a Ry-Krisp
Morning snack: Half an apple and a Diet Pepsi
Lunch: a slice of turkey, a slice of cheese, and the other half of the apple
Afternoon snack: Diet Pepsi and cocaine (yep)
Late afternoon: 2.5 hour workout: free weights, elliptical, and swimming
Dinner: Vegetable soup or a salad with no dressing, wine, and more cocaine
So yeah. I reached 100 pounds that way, but also spiraled into an increasingly crazy lifestyle until I simply decided enough was enough and did what I needed to do (which is another story I don't need to bore you with).
I am glad to step in and try to let MFP posters and others know that they don't NEED that latest fad diet or "diet aid". But I try to be at least somewhat gentle/compassionate because I know too well how insane we get when we're desperately trying to reach some stupidly unrealistic goal, are surrounded by ill-informed or toxic people, and have no clue about what real health really means.
Confession: My son was briefly on ADHD meds but he reacted badly to them. There's still about a month's supply in our medicine cabinet and I'd be a liar if I said I hadn't thought more than once about taking them to see if they'd help me shift the last 10 lbs. It's basically speed.
oh my, I missed the cocaine part on that confession. Totally bypassed it when someone else had quoted it previously! I tried cocaine once, sniffed it (had a cold and basically sneezed it out) got a headache and went to bed. I don't like to do anything that is addicting, too afraid I'll get addicted! Never tried it again. I have heard that is how a lot of super models stay so thin!
It's a serious appetite-killer apart from the stimulant stuff so I think that's why it has that reputation/popularity with models etc.
I've never been on THAT diet, haha, but the diet cola part, for sure. I got through university on black coffee, Coke Zero, and one meal a day.0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 426 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions