Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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orangesmartie wrote: »It never rains but it pours!
Got home today, checked on mum all gone well, just wait for further biopsy results to make they got it all.
My dad said my sister's social worker rang yesterday. Some of you may remember I mentioned previously my parents and I have custody of her 2 year old son and she is pregnant again. Anyway, it seems that the picture is bleak for the unborn child ( a little girl) and the social are minded to take this one into care when she's born, and they wanted to know if we'd have her.
Of course the answer is yes. But I can't tell you how tired and stressed that makes me feel already. My mum and I run our own company together, but she will have to give up work to care for baby, so the earning to keep us falls on me and my dad only. Not to mention the burden of caring for a baby and a toddler. I can't leave my parents to do it all on their own, but I feel exhausted just thinking about a baby.
I.never wanted children.
And my nanna blabbed to my mum something I said at the weekend (when drunk) about finding driving home every weekend and having Charlie tiring. Which is true, doesn't mean I don't want to do it.
But now my mum is horribly upset. And it's the last thing she needs.
So tonight, everything will be eaten. And I am enjoying one night in lazy solitude. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no child, no expectations, just me, my sofa, my TV and some ice cream
I'm so sorry. That is really horrible. My sister is very similar to yours and has a similar situation. However, for many reasons I could not take her babies, and they have been adopted. People judge me as horrible for not taking on her two kids, and it killed me not to do it. I wanted to. I love them. It just couldn't happen.
Sometimes I'm actually glad they are adopted, because they will have the best chance of not having a life full of nonsense. They were adopted by the first family to foster them, so they got really lucky. Anyway, all that to say that I admire so much what you are doing for those kids, because I know from experience how much it is to take on and everything that goes with it.
I'm glad you can take care of yourself tonight.
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Ask me!Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age
) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
In my city there are very few Muslims. I know NONE personally, which is why I'm completely clueless but fascinated. And you are completely right: it's the fear of offending that keeps us from asking questions causes confusion and misunderstandings.
My step-daughter is married to a Mormon and I have several questions I'd like to ask him, but I don't out of fear of offending him. Hmmm.... perhaps this is something I need to work on.
Okay, just a few random ones:
Alcohol - that's a general "no", right? What about caffeine? I over heard someone the other day say that Mormons don't drink caffeine, but it was while standing in line at the grocery store and I couldn't tell if they were serious or what. I've never heard of that, but it concerns me because I know my SIL doesn't drink alcohol so whenever they are at our house I offer iced tea and pop, but he generally just has water. If this is true I feel badly and need to have lemonade or something on hand.
The cross - big thing for Catholics, but not for Mormons. I understood it to be because the cross has a negative association with Jesus. Is that true? If so, that makes sense to me. It always creeped me out a bit when Catholics have crosses all over with Jesus portrayed as nailed to them. Plain ones I can understand. ***This is not meant to offend anyone. I'm just curious, but I can take this offline if it bothers anyone.***0 -
I lost 30 pounds pounds two years ago, and I've gained 15 of it back! Trying to lose it. Again. This is hard.0
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CountessKitteh wrote: »
Thank you. I hadn't cried yet, but that pushed me over the edge.
Special needs kid. Not good at organising himself. Trusts his useless loving, helpful (who can't do it all, sometimes makes mistakes, but will always try her best) mother to do it for him.quiksylver296 wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »
And now I feel worse because my husband asked why I didn't drive him to school. I don't know why - I should have, I was just in such a panic I wasn't thinking straight.Oh, I am such a bad mother! My son is in the middle of diploma exams - I checked the calendar a dozen times and wrote down that his last two exams are on Monday. Got a call from the school at 9.34 saying that he should be in an exam right now and that they'd let him in if he got there by 10.00. I hauled him out of bed and thrust the car keys in his hand. He should be able to get there on time. I'm shaking. How could I have messed up so badly?
Not judging, but if he's old enough to drive...why isn't he keeping his own exam schedule?
I kinda thought that, too. (But not judging!)
I called the school and he did get there in time. So he wasn't prepared, but at least he's there.
Fixed that for you!
Yeah, @BZAH10 and all her warm and fuzzies will do that to you.
Thank you! And I absolutely cannot keep up with this thread so I've missed a lot, but I cannot quite figure out why you are in the front end of a car in your profile pic! You are super cute, though! And what IS that car?0 -
Confession - I finally started another book yesterday, after taking a reading break for a while because I wasn't totally over my last one yet (what can I say... I get very attached to some characters LOL).
And now I'm annoyed because I can't read. My son was home this morning because he was sick, and now both are here and they need me or watch some cartoons so I can't read it in peace... and I need peace to be able to read. With the kids last day of school tomorrow, I have no idea when I'll get to it... I guess I need to learn to just tune the kids/TV out... And I still really want to keep watching X Files at night too!0 -
Coastalpath wrote: »Hello all,
I've been lurking since page 1... wasn't planning to post was just enjoying the confessions. Then the thread went on, and on, and on, and I never felt it was the right opportunity to post anything. Just wanted to say that there are probably lots of us who enjoy this thread, who empathise, who find it interesting, who laugh and cry along with everyone else, and might not post a lot but thoroughly enjoyed it, and hopefully will continue to do so.
My confession (I feel the need to contribute at least once) is that I skipped breakfast today so I could go for a waffle and ice-cream for lunch and I also have a take-away curry for dinner tonight. I use CICO when it suits me!
I am in maintenance at the moment as I have started NROLFW and am enjoying eating all the foods now, but this is the first time I've had ice-cream for lunch and I have no regrets!
Awesome! Welcome. I felt the same way about posting in here the first time too.
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I haven't posted here before, but having read some of your posts I feel I may have found a safe place to vent about all things food and fitness related - thank you!!
My confession; I just finished my third round of an intense health and fitness program called FIt in 42 - it's a 42 day program that is a combination of clean eating combined with workouts six days a week. During these programs I am a superstar - I always lose at least 20-25 lbs and two clothing sizes, and I feel like a million bucks. The problem happens when I come off the program and can't stay focused. We are encouraged to celebrate our success but I always take it overboard...pizza, pasta, wine, the list goes on. Two weeks later I am lethargic and hating myself. I have kept up the working out (although I go 4 days a week now instead of 6) but I need to get past this habit of excess followed by self-loathing....There has to be a happy medium!
Time to incorporate daily planning rather than relying on a 42 day 'quick fix.' Eat within your calorie limits (and it does NOT have to be 1200 calories or less!) and exercise if you like to. It's really that simple. Not judging, just want to help break your cycle.0 -
Yes, no alcohol and no caffiene. There's an old teaching called The Word of Wisdom which prohibits 'hot drinks' which is taken to mean tea and coffee and therefore caffiene. However, some people are a bit flexible on this and will drink Coke and Mountain Dew instead. Sounds like your SIL is in the former camp - he might appreciate another cold drink, or he may appreciate the chance to show off how righteous he is by declining all beverages. Some Mormons are like that.
Ask me!Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
In my city there are very few Muslims. I know NONE personally, which is why I'm completely clueless but fascinated. And you are completely right: it's the fear of offending that keeps us from asking questions causes confusion and misunderstandings.
My step-daughter is married to a Mormon and I have several questions I'd like to ask him, but I don't out of fear of offending him. Hmmm.... perhaps this is something I need to work on.
Okay, just a few random ones:
Alcohol - that's a general "no", right? What about caffeine? I over heard someone the other day say that Mormons don't drink caffeine, but it was while standing in line at the grocery store and I couldn't tell if they were serious or what. I've never heard of that, but it concerns me because I know my SIL doesn't drink alcohol so whenever they are at our house I offer iced tea and pop, but he generally just has water. If this is true I feel badly and need to have lemonade or something on hand.
The cross - big thing for Catholics, but not for Mormons. I understood it to be because the cross has a negative association with Jesus. Is that true? If so, that makes sense to me. It always creeped me out a bit when Catholics have crosses all over with Jesus portrayed as nailed to them. Plain ones I can understand. ***This is not meant to offend anyone. I'm just curious, but I can take this offline if it bothers anyone.***
The cross thing is correct, the cross is a symbol of Jesus's death, and they prefer to celebrate his life.
Ask anything else. I'm unoffendable (is that a word). I left the faith when I was 18 but remain interested because I still have many friends in it.
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They love it until you ask awkward questions, then you won't see them for dust. There are a lot of awkward questions to ask.berlynnwall wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
Same here! I have learned SO much from @Susieq_1994! Now I'm waiting for some of these topics to come up in conversations in real life and I can be all smug about my new-found knowledge! Then if anyone asks me how I know I can be all vague and mysterious and say "I know someone online. It's a secret, though."
lol! It actually makes me really sad to see that some people who actually live among Muslims know nothing about them, just because everyone is afraid to offend by asking questions! :-/ So I spread my information far and wide!
As an example, I know a young Muslim girl living in the U.S. who plays softball, and one day she was performing her prayer in a corner of the field and her coach was all confused and kept asking if she was okay. She's been playing softball for years, but nobody on her team knows that Muslims pray?
Not that I think they're bigots or anything! I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
As you can see, since I'm always harping on about it... This topic is pretty close to my heart. My form of dawah (literally means invitation; it means teaching others about Islam) is to spread information about how we (Muslims) live so others won't fear us or feel afraid to ask us things in case they offend us.
In my city there are very few Muslims. I know NONE personally, which is why I'm completely clueless but fascinated. And you are completely right: it's the fear of offending that keeps us from asking questions causes confusion and misunderstandings.
My step-daughter is married to a Mormon and I have several questions I'd like to ask him, but I don't out of fear of offending him. Hmmm.... perhaps this is something I need to work on.
In my experience, Mormons love to talk about their faith, they even stop by your house to tell you about it when they don't know you! I think you have a good chance of him being very open to discussing it with you. No offense to any Mormons here - every Mormon I personally know is extremely kind and nice to be around.
That's so true. I try to always be the one to answer the door when they come, because even though I'm not interested, I am nice about it. I don't love it, but I understand that is what their religion tells them to do. My husband is not so nice in that situation. Luckily the ones I see usually come in the middle of the day. I wish the people leaving anonymous Chick tracts on my porch would knock though. I'd love to ask them a thing or two.0 -
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[orangesmartie wrote: »It never rains but it pours!
Got home today, checked on mum all gone well, just wait for further biopsy results to make they got it all.
My dad said my sister's social worker rang yesterday. Some of you may remember I mentioned previously my parents and I have custody of her 2 year old son and she is pregnant again. Anyway, it seems that the picture is bleak for the unborn child ( a little girl) and the social are minded to take this one into care when she's born, and they wanted to know if we'd have her.
Of course the answer is yes. But I can't tell you how tired and stressed that makes me feel already. My mum and I run our own company together, but she will have to give up work to care for baby, so the earning to keep us falls on me and my dad only. Not to mention the burden of caring for a baby and a toddler. I can't leave my parents to do it all on their own, but I feel exhausted just thinking about a baby.
I.never wanted children.
And my nanna blabbed to my mum something I said at the weekend (when drunk) about finding driving home every weekend and having Charlie tiring. Which is true, doesn't mean I don't want to do it.
But now my mum is horribly upset. And it's the last thing she needs.
So tonight, everything will be eaten. And I am enjoying one night in lazy solitude. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no child, no expectations, just me, my sofa, my TV and some ice cream
That is so rough. I'm sorry. But it's not your responsibility... will you just keep taking the kids if she keeps getting pregnant? I mean, I can't even imagine how hard it must be, but you shouldn't have to ruin your life (same for your mother) because your sister is irresponsible.
This child needs to be where she'll be wanted. And I'm not judging you because I completely get it. If I had to take care of another child now I'd be devastated, and I did want children. But it's not the best for you, and it's probably not the best for her... Wishing you the best though.
No we won't keep taking kids, because I will make it a condition that the social apply to the court for a forcible sterilisation order so there are no more. We can't afford more (apologies if that offends people, I don't want to open the birth control debate).
I appreciate the honesty of your thoughts, and I don't take it as judgement. I understand what you say about the child being wanted. And she will be. She will be as loved and adored as Charlie is now, the children do not make these choices. I do. And they will get the best of everything I can give them, including me. Those children will never know the resentment I feel towards their mother.
My partners have already been on the phone planning how we make this work.
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »
I'm the weirdo whose favourite flavour of ice cream is vanilla.Susieq_1994 wrote: »I confess...
It's 10 PM and I had a ton of calories left, even after dinner, because I didn't have much of an appetite today. I decided to have something desserty, but we only had vanilla ice cream in the freezer. Plain vanilla isn't really worth the calories to me, although it's nice... So then I had an idea: I got 10 grams of peanut butter, and spread it in a thin layer over the walls of a tiny ice cream bowl, then served the ice cream on top of it. Then, with each bite, I scraped a little peanut butter off the wall of the bowl. Mmmmm, so good.
And then, I STILL had a ton of calories left, so I made a mock peanut butter milkshake. That was so good too.
...I really love peanut butter.
I love vanilla too. Although, now that I've discovered Ben & Jerry's Half Baked, I would say that's my new fave.
If you like peanut butter they also have a Peanut Butter Half Baked that is good.
*Runs out to find this*
Wait for me.
Would I be universally despised if I admitted that I don't like Ben & Jerry's? I tried one of their flavors just because everyone seems to rave about them (I paid 15 dollars for it, people!!), and it was honestly pretty disappointing. :-/
My favorite brand of ice cream is London Dairy. I love pretty much ALL of their flavours. Mmmmm.
What flavour did you try?
Susie, do you have Talenti in Saudi Arabia?
Sadly, no. *sniffle* Although, considering the price of Ben & Jerry's here, Talenti might be way beyond my budget even if it was. :-/
Boo! Have you ever tried to make your own? I still can't believe you have to pay $15.00 for ice cream. I wish we could mail you guys some:(.
At least I have my beloved London Dairy! It is a little expensive, but more like 5 dollars than 15. We do have some local brands, but they taste kind of cheap, and the imported stuff like Ben & Jerry's, Haagen Daz (sp?), Fregento, Skinny Cow, Breyers, and others are really out of this world expensive.
But that's okay, because London Dairy is amazing. And they have a Speculoos biscuit flavor. Mmmmm.
Yeah I wouldn't pay much for Breyers since most of their ice cream is a frozen dairy dessert & not the real stuff.
You can't go wrong with cookie butter ice cream:D. Do you guys get Jif products over there? If so you need to get the Hazelnut spreads if you get them there. So good.
We do, but I haven't tried it. I try to buy local stuff as much as humanly possible, because you don't even want to know how much American and U.K. imported products cost. :-/ Saudi Arabia has quite a large range of local products, thankfully, so it's not hard to do. The only imported product I splurge on regularly is Wisconsin cheddar cheese. Worth every penny.
I grew up in WI!!! They do have the best cheese ever. Thank God the 'cheese head' thing only really started after I left.0 -
Glinda1971 wrote: »
No, I haven't, and I'd probably un-friend anyone who did. I rarely have time (or interest, to be honest) to look at anyone else's diary, and I'd find it disconcerting if someone started giving me a hard time about my butter consumption.kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »I like being friends with the people from this thread.
Because I know nobody will put their judgy pants on when they see my diary.
Have you guys seriously had people judge you about your diaries?
I don't recall ever having anyone judge anything I ate but I think I had someone question me about my sodium intake a few times.
The only time I would judge someone about their food diary or delete them would be from them eating under 1,000 calories everyday.
I would only give constructive criticism if someone asked for it & usually only looked at food diaries to see if I could get any new food ideas. Personally I found looking at food diaries to be tedious.
I haven't had anyone judge me. But I've heard of it happening on here. Just random trolls I suspect.
Just selfconscious I suspect on my part.
Same here! I've had friends comment and it made me feel weird because I rarely even look at anyone else's dairy0 -
I started waking up an hour earlier just to have quiet time to read.Confession - I finally started another book yesterday, after taking a reading break for a while because I wasn't totally over my last one yet (what can I say... I get very attached to some characters LOL).
And now I'm annoyed because I can't read. My son was home this morning because he was sick, and now both are here and they need me or watch some cartoons so I can't read it in peace... and I need peace to be able to read. With the kids last day of school tomorrow, I have no idea when I'll get to it... I guess I need to learn to just tune the kids/TV out... And I still really want to keep watching X Files at night too!
Apologies for not having kept up with the thread.
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »
Me too! Don't stop talking about it!riderfangal wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »KAjourneyof15 wrote: »My confession is I have stretch marks literally ALL over my body. I have them on my boobs, stomach, thighs, and all over my back. Never pregnant, just formerly morbidly obese. I know stretch marks are normal but when they cover the majority of your body, it's a little overwhelming to accept that. I never took care of myself/my body as a teenager and unfortunately I can't do anything about the damage that has been done. What a great wish it would be to be able to go back in time and have a second chance with your body. I wish I knew then what I know now...but what can ya do? I am only 22 and I feel as if my body is just ruined. I don't feel comfortable in my own skin, it's honestly a very sad situation. You only get one body, and I messed mine up, there's no turning back really. As you can tell I have a lot of regrets. I also deal with loose skin but that's a whole other story on it's own. Hopefully at some point in my life I will feel better about my body and learn to accept it as who I am, but that hasn't happened yet.
Unfortunately, this is me as well. I do have some hope that the stretch marks will fade away and the skin will tighten up, because I'm only twenty. Twenty two isn't much older, so why give up hope?
SusieQ, I had no idea you were only 20!!! (Sorry if the 'only' sounds condescending, not intended. I am literally twice your age ) Have you been married very long?
I guess she was from the 1994 in her handle...are you turning the big 2-1 this year?!
That I am, in October. Although it's not really a big thing for me, since 21 is usually only a big date because people are legal drinkers then. Although I DO become eligible to apply for a free government-issued piece of land, the right of every Omani citizen, when I turn 21.
I assumed it was your birthdate as well but never thought much about how old that made you. How long have you been married? And is it normal for a Muslim woman to be married that young? And to something you said a long time ago (before I got so behind) you are very mature for your age.
Not necessarily Muslim women, but Arab women, yes. Early marriage is encouraged in Islam, since extramarital relationships are forbidden and it's pretty hard for most people to remain celibate for so many years after puberty. But the average age of marriage is different in each culture, and not necessarily dictated by religion.
A sad fact: The age of marriage is getting higher in the Arab world only because most young men can no longer afford to get married. Fathers are demanding crazy-high dowries (a girl is eligible for a dowry in Islam, and she is the one who's supposed to pick it and the money/gift is supposed to be hers alone, but some selfish families demand high dowries and then the father keeps it, saying that it's his payback for all the years of taking care of his daughter. Yes, seriously. -_-), along with demands of gold jewellery, a huge wedding, a new wardrobe... And all of it is supposed to come out of the young man's pockets. This is very contrary to Islam's teachings and makes me quite angry; most men have to take a loan just to get married!
My father demanded a 6000 ($16000) Omani rial dowry (meant to be mine, he wouldn't touch the money), because he didn't want to look bad by "giving his daughter away cheaply" <--- Another stupid cultural thing. But since Islamically the dowry is my choice... I took the 6000 for the sake of appearance to appease my dad, then secretly returned every penny of it to my husband after the wedding was over. I also had a super tiny wedding and insisted on paying for it myself, with any money I had left from my years of working (I had to stop due to my FND, but I've worked since I was 15). I also refused new clothing/jewellery/etc. I find it so stupid and wasteful.
I've been married for 1.5 years, as you'll see as you get further back into the thread.
You're so good about sharing your culture. I just want to say thanks for that.
I'm just happy that people don't find me boring for always talking about both my culture and religion! You're very welcome.
I love hearing about your culture!!
I just think that the fear of offending people has reached a point where it's ridiculous--everyone wants to be so politically correct and not offend anyone or ask any questions that we're actually getting more and more ignorant about each other, which is only going to cause MORE problems down the road because nobody understands anyone else!
This!0 -
I count my macros and the very first thing I enter is a bowl of icecream at the end of the day, the build my day around that. I eat based around icecream.I count my macros and the very first thing I enter is a bowl of icecream at the end of the day, the build my day around that. I eat based around icecream.
You, I like! This is a stroke of pure genius right there!
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@orangesmartie, you're SUPER GREAT. 0
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This is one of my favorite comics.
@kecmw25 (and Mo) thank you very much.
My SO is doing Horribly Hilly Hundreds and I've got a list of landmarks to explore. We are eating at Old Fashioned (I need to check the menu to see if I can eat there, he raves about it!)
Edit - they offer gluten free (which is a start) so I'll probably be able to eat there. (I'm also dairy free but I'll probably taste a tiny bit of cheese and deal with the body aches and stuffy nose and racoon eyes consequences later...)
I've been told to eat there but haven't checked it out yet. Let me know how it is please!0 -
Glad your 'team' is behind you. Is your sister even involved in Charlie's life?orangesmartie wrote: »[orangesmartie wrote: »It never rains but it pours!
Got home today, checked on mum all gone well, just wait for further biopsy results to make they got it all.
My dad said my sister's social worker rang yesterday. Some of you may remember I mentioned previously my parents and I have custody of her 2 year old son and she is pregnant again. Anyway, it seems that the picture is bleak for the unborn child ( a little girl) and the social are minded to take this one into care when she's born, and they wanted to know if we'd have her.
Of course the answer is yes. But I can't tell you how tired and stressed that makes me feel already. My mum and I run our own company together, but she will have to give up work to care for baby, so the earning to keep us falls on me and my dad only. Not to mention the burden of caring for a baby and a toddler. I can't leave my parents to do it all on their own, but I feel exhausted just thinking about a baby.
I.never wanted children.
And my nanna blabbed to my mum something I said at the weekend (when drunk) about finding driving home every weekend and having Charlie tiring. Which is true, doesn't mean I don't want to do it.
But now my mum is horribly upset. And it's the last thing she needs.
So tonight, everything will be eaten. And I am enjoying one night in lazy solitude. No boyfriend, no girlfriend, no child, no expectations, just me, my sofa, my TV and some ice cream
That is so rough. I'm sorry. But it's not your responsibility... will you just keep taking the kids if she keeps getting pregnant? I mean, I can't even imagine how hard it must be, but you shouldn't have to ruin your life (same for your mother) because your sister is irresponsible.
This child needs to be where she'll be wanted. And I'm not judging you because I completely get it. If I had to take care of another child now I'd be devastated, and I did want children. But it's not the best for you, and it's probably not the best for her... Wishing you the best though.
No we won't keep taking kids, because I will make it a condition that the social apply to the court for a forcible sterilisation order so there are no more. We can't afford more (apologies if that offends people, I don't want to open the birth control debate).
I appreciate the honesty of your thoughts, and I don't take it as judgement. I understand what you say about the child being wanted. And she will be. She will be as loved and adored as Charlie is now, the children do not make these choices. I do. And they will get the best of everything I can give them, including me. Those children will never know the resentment I feel towards their mother.
My partners have already been on the phone planning how we make this work.
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Confession - I finally started another book yesterday, after taking a reading break for a while because I wasn't totally over my last one yet (what can I say... I get very attached to some characters LOL).
And now I'm annoyed because I can't read. My son was home this morning because he was sick, and now both are here and they need me or watch some cartoons so I can't read it in peace... and I need peace to be able to read. With the kids last day of school tomorrow, I have no idea when I'll get to it... I guess I need to learn to just tune the kids/TV out... And I still really want to keep watching X Files at night too!
I've gotten almost too good and tuning out so I can read. I think it's a coping mechanism because I have SPD and too much noise freaks me out. Great idea having 3 kids, self! I can relate to feeling like your break was messed up though. I hope you can get some peace later. I still make my bigger kids have a quiet time some afternoons now that they don't nap. Any chance of that?0
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