Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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CountessKitteh wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
Friday night the husband and I went to Outback for dinner. I was not thrilled about this because I didn't think I had enough calories for Outback because I always get the Alice Springs Chicken with fries. I decided to order the chicken, but subbed fries with steamed broccoli, which, if you've being paying attention at all, you'll know how incredibly difficult that decision was. I regretted not getting the fries until I tasted the broccoli, it was delicious. I ended up only eating half my dinner, and I even got to share a piece of cheesecake with my love and STILL managed a deficit. Yay, me!
Saturday, my daughter and I were going to go shopping for Father's Day, my eye appointment, and get some last minute things for our trip, but we were also going to go to the candy shop for snacks so my husband wanted to come too. We ended up going to the candy shop first which was a big success except they were out of my favorite trail mix (luckily, I still had some left over from the last visit) so I got buttered toffee pecans (holy sweet, salty, and crunchy, they are amazing), and some dried apples. He got mostly candy.
From there, we went to the mall since that's where my appointment was to kill some time, but also so I wouldn't be late. We ended up in JCP looking at dresses. Husband picked out some he wanted me to try on (his questionable taste presented itself again) but nothing worked. We met up outside in the sitting area of the mall and he asked me if I wanted to kill some more time at Helzberg, and I said sure. Long story short, we ended up looking at diamond rings and bridal sets. I didn't think we were really going to purchase anything since he said we'd do shopping in Florida. Apparently, he'd been really thinking about that and decided if we were going to get one, he wanted to get it before we went so it could be sized and everything beforehand. I tried on several rings before falling head over heals for a 1/2 ct. princess cut in white gold. It was absolutely mesmerizing. I could not quit staring at it. That's pretty much how I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. Love at first sight. Anywho, I tried on a few different guards and finally found a perfect fit. The lady sized my finger (size 5 btw, I was pretty shocked by that) and I was off to my appointment.
My appointment took maybe 20 minutes so I went to Auntie Anne's for pretzels and a DP ( I know, I was doing to so good) and then headed back to Helzberg. Well, come to find out, he bought the ring while I was at my appointment and was finishing up paperwork and stuff when I got back. I was shocked, I didn't expect to get anything finished so soon. Turns out, the ring I picked out is a VVS2 (3rd from highest quality you can get) and almost completely colorless. It is also a limited edition diamond which I didn't know either. I just knew I loved the ring. When they were telling us all the stuff about the diamond, they said I have really good taste. I said, putting my arm around Husband, "Obviously!" He blushed. It was adorable. I hope to have my ring by Thursday, but I might have to wait until after we get back from Florida.
Now for stepdaughter news.
She was a no call, no show Saturday and Sunday. She DID tag him on facebook saying Happy Father's Day and I love you, but I guess she was just too busy to come by and give him the only thing he really wanted which was some of her time. He fell asleep last night while watching TV and then woke up and asked me what time it was. I said 8 or 9, and he said, really, no way. He then pulled out his phone to check for messages. Nothing. The look on his face was so painfully sad I started crying. I told him I was sorry she didn't come by, and he said, "I can't believe she didn't come over on Father's Day." To make matters worse, Rachael told me she thought it'd be fun having a sister, but it's not. I hate that she's treating them so badly.
I'm sad because she'll never know how incredible her dad is and that she seems to have zero interest in being a part of our amazing family. If it were up to me, I'd take the car back and tell her off, but I don't want to do anything that could hurt the chances of a future relationship. What I don't understand, is she found him, he didn't seek her out, she came to him. Why would she do that if she didn't want to have anything to do with him, just his money?!
I'm heartbroken for my loves. Why did this crap have to happen a week before we leave?!
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
Oh man. What a mix of awesomeness and crappiness in this post. I think your new ring sounds pretty amazing, but the fact that your step-daughter is being such a selfish brat is making me so sad for your husband.
+1
A mix of yays and hugs for you.
Thanks!kellienw335 wrote: »Goodness, what a weekend! This time next week, I could possibly be lying on a beautiful beach in Florida sipping a mimosa. I will be thinking of you all.
TL; DR: I AM getting a new ring, I married an incredible man, and his daughter is a selfish little twit.
That's awesome news about your ring! Sounds like you had a good weekend except the stepdaughter part. Just curious...why wasn't he involved in her life when she was younger? Counseling may be good for all of you to work through this difficult place. It may reveal some things about her past that provide insight as to why she's acting this way. I hate that Rachael is so disappointed.
(Hugs)
He wanted to be, we both did.
When her mom and my husband broke up, they shared custody (they were never married). For some reason, I'm not 100% clear on this as he doesn't like to talk about it, she quit allowing him visitation. I guess, in the state of Kansas, a mother can say anything she wants against a father, even one paying child support, and it's basically her word against his. She petitioned to increase his child support (this happened several times during our relationship) and was awarded more each time.
In the almost 15 years we've been married, until recently, I had only seen her twice. Once for her 5th birthday (her mother didn't know about this) and once for Christmas (same year, mother didn't know). When Rach was about 2 maybe a little younger, we found out where she worked and Husband asked if he could see her and she told him she didn't think she (daughter) was ready for that. Because, at the time, we didn't have the money to take her to court, he didn't fight his ex anymore and just did was what right by paying his child support and not fighting it every time she wanted more.
He would never admit it, but he's a pushover and hates confrontation. Hence the situation we're currently in. Her mom was pretty pissed when she found out she had sought him out. I'm sure she has a lot to do with the way she's been acting recently since she's staying at her house.
Sorry to be such a downer on a Monday.
There's the key, right there. Nineteen / adult or not, that sole-parental influence is HUGE. My husband and I both had joint custody of our kids, but the influence of the other parent was always present. I'll shut up on this subject after this, but once she becomes independent, breaks away from her mom, goes through a few serious relationships of her own, she will see your husband's side so much clearer.
Example scenario: say she gets seriously involved with a guy who has a child. Mother of the child does the exact thing to her (hypothetical) boyfriend that her mom did. He wants to see his child and be involved, but he is denied. He's hurt and she doesn't like it. Light bulb moment. She won't necessarily see her mom as the bad guy, but she'll apply all those same feelings to her current situation and eventually she will see things differently. IMHO.
I hope you're right. For his sake, her sake and Rachael's sake. Thank you.
It's a bit weird to me that she would get like this AFTER trying to find him. My mom had a restraining order against my biological father when I was little, and he signed away his legal right to me, but she would have let me get to know him if I'd wanted. Even now, if I decided I wanted to find him and have a relationship, she'd support me.
For what it's worth, I don't want to know him. I know enough about why there was a restraining order in the first place, and know he would occasionally run into my mom's younger sister (who is a terrible human being - not judgement, just fact) who would give him updates about me (without asking me, of course). I look at it like he never made the effort to follow up, even once I was an adult and my mom couldn't stop him.
I do sometimes wonder if I have half siblings somewhere, but I'm not sure I want to start that kind of relationship at this point even if I did. Too much pressure, you know?
I can imagine her being totally conflicted at only 19, when I'm still unsure at 31. Especially with a strong negative influence behind her. She may just need time (and space - possibly from both sides) to figure out what she wants.
Here's hoping that she comes around!
Thanks & sorry, @CountessKitteh I too had a loser bio dad.
I want her to figure out what she wants, but I will not let her let my husband pay the emotional price (so to speak) while she does it. We are by no means forcing her to have a relationship with us if that's not what she wants, but I will also not continue to pay for her car while my husband is driving a truck older than all the people in this thread if she doesn't want to be a part of our lives. That sounds really heartless I'm sure, but I have to be honest.
That is a "classic" if it is older than me!
1963 Chevy pick up. Matte black with ghost flames and slammed. According to the insurance he's carrying, it's not supposed to be used as a daily driver, so don't tell anyone.
Quit holding out.... we need some photos! Seriously wanna see this ride. And please tell me it has at least a 350ci in it. 0 -
This is not a confession and I don't care because I'm SUPER excited - my passport came in the mail today woo hoo!!!!
(For those unaware I've never left the country and I'm headed to London in August!!)
I thought you had been there before. So, your boyfriend has always come here? How long have you been dating? Not trying to be nosy, just curious!0 -
WestCoastJo82 wrote: »I do a kickboxing class Monday evenings and normally just walk to the gym from campus. I'll wear normal clothes (not teaching this summer so I can be pretty informal, but you know, still wear normal clothes) and then change before I walk down. I had to be at home this morning to meet people who are working on the house, but then needed to come to campus to meet with one of my grad students, but that's the only reason I had to be on campus. I figure, ehh, I don't care if grad student sees me scrubby - we've played soccer together so I'll just go to the office in my kickboxing clothes. Of course, today is the day that my dean who is never around is around. After my meeting with my grad student I closed my office door and am pretending I'm not here.
Oh, sorry! Isn't that always how it seems to work? The ONE time you decide to dress casual...0 -
I do that too, and feel gross and guilty when I don't!MaggieLoo79 wrote: »I wear spanx all the time. I never leave the house without something to keep my tummy held in.
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pofoster21 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »
and we have mixmode..I can't remember the correct way to spell it with numbers and such!
This cracked me up... I will forever think of him as mixmode now!
lol thanks. That's actually what my username means. MIXMODE I just subbed the vowels for numbers. I promise not to leave.
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pofoster21 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »WestCoastJo82 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »
and we have mixmode..I can't remember the correct way to spell it with numbers and such!
Isn't @m1xm0d3 a girl?
I thought he was the single dad cyclist...? Am I confusing/combining people?
Yes, he is the single dad cyclist.
I confess since he rarely talks about 'male things' (I am sure because of us) I think he is male as well. And I am SURE he will be thrilled we ever questioned it. We love you @m1xm0d3! Don't leave us!
This cracked me up... I will forever think of him as mixmode now!
I too hope he's not offended and leaves! I know he's busy at work, but I hope he appears again. Also, I "read" letters as numbers sometimes, so "mixmode" is exactly how I read it, also.
You got it! I am thick skinned so no I won't leave until something like graphic discussions on enemas starts becoming the norm around here or something.0 -
I had an affair on my diet this am. I was at the McDonald's drive thru and asked if they had cookies, nope but they could put some in for me...um hot out of the oven McDonald choc chip cookies...holy mother of words I can't describe. I've never had an affair but if its anything as hot and delish as that, I may have to rethink my lifestyle.0
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Italian_Buju wrote: »I see Wonder Woman, also, @quiksylver296. Also, I'm a bit dyslexic (which another reason I have a hard time remembering full screen names) and I always call you "Quickysilver" in my head. That "y" seems to trip me up every time!
Confession: I have to go buy my husband a Father's Day card and gift after work and we're not even on speaking terms right now. This should be fun.
I hope you guys are doing better now. What is going on? I know a lot of people who are having relationship issues right now.
Yes it seems to be spreading...I am not overly impressed with my SO myself....
Sorry to hear that. If you need to vent to us, we won't mind.
Hope things improve soon.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »WestCoastJo82 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »
and we have mixmode..I can't remember the correct way to spell it with numbers and such!
Isn't @m1xm0d3 a girl?
I thought he was the single dad cyclist...? Am I confusing/combining people?
Yes, he is the single dad cyclist.
I confess since he rarely talks about 'male things' (I am sure because of us) I think he is male as well. And I am SURE he will be thrilled we ever questioned it. We love you @m1xm0d3! Don't leave us!
This cracked me up... I will forever think of him as mixmode now!
I too hope he's not offended and leaves! I know he's busy at work, but I hope he appears again. Also, I "read" letters as numbers sometimes, so "mixmode" is exactly how I read it, also.
You got it! I am thick skinned so no I won't leave until something like graphic discussions on enemas starts becoming the norm around here or something.
Eeew I think I'd be leaving as well!0 -
It's probably just a matter of time...pofoster21 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »WestCoastJo82 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »
and we have mixmode..I can't remember the correct way to spell it with numbers and such!
Isn't @m1xm0d3 a girl?
I thought he was the single dad cyclist...? Am I confusing/combining people?
Yes, he is the single dad cyclist.
I confess since he rarely talks about 'male things' (I am sure because of us) I think he is male as well. And I am SURE he will be thrilled we ever questioned it. We love you @m1xm0d3! Don't leave us!
This cracked me up... I will forever think of him as mixmode now!
I too hope he's not offended and leaves! I know he's busy at work, but I hope he appears again. Also, I "read" letters as numbers sometimes, so "mixmode" is exactly how I read it, also.
You got it! I am thick skinned so no I won't leave until something like graphic discussions on enemas starts becoming the norm around here or something.
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »You guys (ladies?), I have something I need to confess to all of you (especially to all of those awesome people who added me as friends).
So, here's the thing: I wasn't ever planning to confess this in here, because I didn't want to offend anyone or make anyone feel guilty. A small part of me was also afraid that it would backfire and I would get taunted, but after knowing everyone for a while, I'm sure it wouldn't happen. I've honestly been sitting here in front of my screen for an hour, trying to get up the courage to confess this to everyone here, and as I type this I'm beginning to cry.
Basically, I have an extreme phobia of profanity of any kind--whether it's typed or verbally spoken. It triggers my anxiety and my FND in a really big way, and this is one of the reasons that sticking with this thread has been a huge challenge for me. I was able to stick with it mostly because of MFP's profanity filters--otherwise I would be long gone due to a level of anxiety that I really can't handle.
Now, this poses a problem for me. While I'm really, really happy to have all of you add me as friends, my MFP feed doesn't have the profanity filter that the forums have, and I need my feed to be "safe" for me. Lately I've been scared and anxious whenever I open MFP, for fear of what I might read on the feed.
I just wanted to tell all of you who have been so kind to add me, that while I don't expect you to filter what you post on your MFP, I really don't want you to be offended if I delete you for usage of profanity. It DOES NOT MEAN that I don't like you or that I don't want to be your friend--this is just an issue that I have a terrible, terrible fear of and really can't handle. I honestly contemplated making a second account to log my food so I wouldn't have to look at the feed on this one so I wouldn't end up deleting or alienating any one of you--I decided that it was best to bite the bullet and tell the truth.
Please don't be offended, because I truly don't mean to offend anyone. I'm sorry if I've made anyone feel bad or guilty or angry at me by this confession.
No judgement and all that, right?
thanks for letting us know Susie. Its quite important because none of us would want to deliberately upset you.
I will endeavour to moderate my language, apologise in advance for any that slip through, and understand if you want to unfriend me - i won't take it personally
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Went shopping for new (bigger) clothes. Bought a box of Crunchberry cereal on the way home and stress ate the box after reality hit me that the 25 lbs. Gained actually was noticeable. I did buy some PB 2 at the same time anticipating getting back on track. The small cup of Crunchberry left in the morning I made a PB 2 mix to coat it with and ate that for breakfast, that may actually be a good thing to do to a less noxious cereal. Took a couple days to reload MFP back in my phone and have done better for a week or so.
I have to mentally prepare myself to go shopping when I've gained weight. I talk to myself as I walk around the store (not out loud). Saying things like 'you are ok', 'it's ok that you still wear a XXL', 'if you want things to be different then you have to exercise and eat right'. If I don't do this then I have a mini-panic attack in the dressing room when nothing fits. Welcome to The Thread!0 -
melimomTARDIS wrote: »I purposefully design all my meals so I can eat large portions for little calories. Despite losing a bajillion pounds, and maintaining the loss, I still need QUANITITY to feel full.
My guests are aghast when they see my big ol' jethro portions. (ie- huge bowls of air popped popcorn, 2 or 3 potatoes with my dinner, mountains of salad... etc)
I buy those 12oz mixed veggies bags and just eat the whole thing as a side, often with grated parmesan sprinkled on top. I eat mashed cauliflower one pound at a time. Yep, I need quantity too.
I still binge typically once a week, and eat at a bigger deficit the rest of the time to make up for it - pretty much maintained since June because of that (when I'm still trying to lose 3 pounds). I was actually one pound lighter in June. My last binge was 1000 calories of Girl Scout cookies on Thursday (and I only had 400 calories left for the day).
I'm still in denial that I can eat things in moderation. I typically last a week or so, then hormones kick in and it's over and I pretty much raid all the ice cream and cookies. Still bought ice cream today. I just don't learn.
I do wash my clothes after my workouts but will often just workout in PJs or even in underwear (both of which pretty much sucks for high impact stuff when I have no bra on).
I have the bouncy loose skin issue when I run too...
I have the binge problem. I've tried to lose weight several times over the last year or two, and this has always kept me off track, because I don't want to track the binges, and then I feel like not tracking at all because they feel inevitable. We should have a support group, because I don't know how to change this???0 -
47Jacqueline wrote: »During two interchanges this weekend I reacted defensively to comments that, on further investigation, turned out to actually be compliments. This has made me realize that in spite of a lot of personal insight, I'm still having problems thinking of myself as "ok".
Well, that's a huge thing to discover about yourself. Self-awareness is so very important. I'm sure this will help you improve your thoughts of yourself from here on out. Good job for being so honest about it!0 -
Stupid tray of Ghirardelli brownies my mom made while staying over to watch my daughter. Dang her for bringing that crap in to my house! Taunting me.... I had about a 3x3 inch square. >_<
Hey, now, with all the cycling you do that amount doesn't even seem confession-worthy! But glad you're still here with us.0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »xMrBunglex wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Confession: It's a hangry day, and I want chips...or Gardetto's.
I'm in trouble.
I hear you. It's workout off day & all I can think about is warm sourdough bread.
MUST. CONTROL. URGES.
me too, but to (kinda) contribute to the guacamole postings, I just want to face plant in a pile of it. LOVE it. I seriously think I like it better than ice cream. I've been known to eat a whole avocado with salt and a spoon. I want to eat ALL the things today, but by things I mean guac and cheddar cheese and sour cream.
I bought a package of the Wholly Guacamole single serve packages. Sadness. I've never seen anything so TINY! To make it even worse, the miniscule container has a concave (inward) bottom so there's even less in there than I thought. When my spoon hit that bump in the bottom of the container I almost freaked out! Good thing they come in packages of 6. Three at a time should do the trick.
Is this a good quality brand?
Seems to be. I prefer to make everything myself, but I was at the store and grabbed it. It's the first time I've ever had it. A bit "oniony" for me. I like the taste of onions, but do not like the smell in the air or on my breath! Of course, I always brush my teeth right away, but I'd prefer a bit less onion.0 -
Confession: I always dated guys who were in worse shape than me or had terrible habits (junk food, smoking, no exercise, no self-control, or no self esteem) that way I could feel like the "healthy" one in the relationship... even though I wasn't taking care of myself like I should have. It took me years to unlearn this bad dating behavior. I'm ashamed to run into my exes now because they're all various kinds of miserable; meanwhile I'm down 40+lbs and finally enjoying my life. I'm embarrassed that I let my issues with my weight push me into relationships with guys I wasn't attracted to.0
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Confession: I'm seriously considering the intermittent fasting diet. I'm clearly not getting anywhere with the old fashioned calorie counting and I'm actually getting quite desperate now. I want to book a doctors appointment but I think they will say the same thing as my mum "Why don't you join weight watchers or slimming world" Yea, I don't want to pay someone to watch me stand on a scale.
I'm also considering taking all the money I have saved for a deposit on a house and getting someone to just suck all the fat out of me.
It's all feeling very hopeless at the moment
I'm sorry you are feeling desperate. However, YOU are in charge of your health when you go to the doctor; they can advise, but what you do is up to you. If you go and explain what is going on and they suggest what you said, then simply say, "No, those are not workable options for me. Do you have any other suggestions or can you refer me to someone who does?"
Don't waste money on lipo. It won't help in the long run and it can turn out badly. I LOVE @orangesmartie's response - fantastic advice!0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Caught up!
We went camping this weekend and I ate EVERYTHING (did you know you can roast Pillsbury cinnamon rolls over the fire in foil? Or that you can do pizza dough from scratch as long as it's warm enough to let it rise in the sun?)
We also had my friend's dogs with us and I was in tears laughing at them when we put their puppy life jackets on to swim in the river. They have little handles on the back so you can pick them up like a suitcase...
They look hilarious. And even better is that when you hold them over the water they just start paddling in the air. If you hold them up high, they paddle slowly, but the closer you put them to the water, the faster their little legs go. So freaking cute.
I have one of those jackets for my Mastiff. She loves to swim, sinks like a brick without it. On the plus side, i have my own trolling motor in the river when I am on the float. Attach the leash and let her swim!
Oh, so cute! Large dog, though, right? How big is your Mastiff? My youngest son has a Mastiff / Boxer mix and he's like 120 lbs. I think. He's a tank. I call him "Roadblock" because he will stop abruptly right in front of you and turn around to see if you're still there. Then I either fall over him or come to a complete stand still until he decides to move again. His other dog is an Australian Blue Heeler and she's a smarty-pants. Very mischievous and smart.
Yes, she is a large dog. She is actually small size for her breed and is about the size of your Mastiff/Boxer mix. I used to have an Australian Sheperd/ Heeler mix and loved that dog. Unfortunately he ended up with my ex who didn't take good care of him.
I'm requesting pictures of all these dogs please I LOVE dogs so much!!
Here is a picture of our dog Sarabi, she was put down February last year because she had pancreatic cancer which spread to her liver.
She was 12 years old, I was 24 at the time so I had known her for half of my life.
Beautiful! She looks like a sweetheart!
She was the bestest dog in the world.
Her eyes make me melt!0
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