Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

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  • FroggyBug
    FroggyBug Posts: 4,883 Member
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    MoHousdon wrote: »
    BZAH10 wrote: »
    MoHousdon wrote: »
    Thanks, everyone! It really is the most gorgeous piece of jewelry I own, that's for sure. I was bummed because it was supposed to come in a couple days before we left, but they never called...or so I thought.

    I told Mr. Mo I was disappointed because I was hoping to have my ring before we left so I could show it to my brother (who we were lucky enough to get to see while down there). He said he was bummed too, but at least I'd have something to look forward to when we got home.

    Unbeknownst to me, that little turd picked it up the Wednesday before we left, and snuck it in his carryon. On our anniversary, we decided to go to breakfast, then do some shopping on another key, then go seashell, and shark tooth hunting. While on the beach hunting, he got a little ahead of me lower on the beach looking for shells while I'm still working my way down the hill. He turns around and asks me, "So, what do you think of this little one?" In the palm of his hand was my ring. It was so cute and romantic. He told me every time I mentioned being bummed about not having my ring ahead of time, he laughed to himself. He's such a brat sometimes.

    What an awesome story! And the ring is fabulous! So happy for you both. Oh, did you end up getting him a watch? Sorry if you've already said. I can't keep up. Too busy at work.

    He made me tell Rachael the story because he wanted to hear I would be telling it to people. Silly man.

    I was going to but he said he wouldn't wear a regular watch, so he opted for the Moto 360 smart watch, which I'm insanely jealous of now, and he absolutely LOVES!

    That is so freaking cute, and the ring is gorgeous. (Doesn't everyone have hair on their knuckles? If that's not normal, count me as a member in the hairy woman club).

    I know I do and they are dark haha. :)
  • nonoelmo
    nonoelmo Posts: 3,941 Member
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    nonoelmo wrote: »
    Kalici wrote: »
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    nonoelmo wrote: »

    ETA: I "learned" to date in my 40's. I never "dated" like that before, I didn't know how to do it. It was so fun and cool (and scary) to discover so much about myself. I was always 100% myself and clear that I was looking for a good relationship. I did work hard on keeping good boundaries and only dating men who didn't raise red flags.

    What are some red flags for people?
    The one's I really looked for:

    Very angry/resentful toward someone (i.e., ex, mother, sibling, etc.) even if deserved it should not come out in date #1 or #2.

    Pushing for "cuddles" or anything else very quickly.

    Not understanding what an appropriate level of activity for a first or second date would be (i.e. writing a song for me after one email exchange, planning a weekend away in another state for a second date.)

    Not having an appropriate job for his age (i.e. I am in the middle age dating pool, I want to date someone not support him financially.)

    What other red flags come to mind?




    Not letting me do things for myself e.g. insisting on ordering something for me instead of letting me order what I want and other weird signs of dominance.

    Talking about their ex repeatedly in anyway. Glowing terms can be just as bad as negative ones. My ex girlfriend was so good to me she'd drop everything to make me my favorite dinner and then she'd clean up the entire kitchen.

    Treating staff where ever you go badly. I think you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat people who're waiting on them.

    Calling too much (I had one guy literally calling me over 30 times in one day) or too little (if you haven't heard from them in a month they're not really interested).

    I agree with these and the others listed earlier. Good stuff

    I would also add

    If you are a mom the guy wanting to be insta-dad. I vaguely mentioned my kids in my profile and more than one man in the first email offered to help raise them. No thank you.

    The player who is almost seems like relationship material but fails. He comes so close and is charming and good looking and rich. And them you realize he's flakey as heck. And his almost commitments are insincere and then he tells you he's been divorced twice not just once and was with wife #2 while still with wife #1. And then you let him know no more. You will not be going out with him again.

    No projects. He is not there to fix or improve you. You are not there to fix or improve him.

    You have to like each other as people and be interested in who that person is. That means no projecting. One man kept trying to put words into my mouth about what I liked and what I did for fun.

    Where was this advice when I was dating? You should teach a class! All the single ladies, looking for someone, in this thread should start taking notes!!

    There is a lot of good advice here. I wish my 25 year old self had known some of this.... :smiley:
  • nonoelmo
    nonoelmo Posts: 3,941 Member
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    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    peleroja wrote: »
    That sewing machine! I want!

    Mine is just a basic little Brother but it is pale pink - I can't claim responsibility for that though as it was my mother's before she decided she needed a fancier one.

    I'm glad you all understand my feelings about frying food in the house. Soooo stinky. We don't have an exhaust fan over our stove either (or anywhere in the kitchen), so everything I cook lingers unless I open the windows. Not too practical in our minus 40 degree winters either as it's a recipe for a burst water pipe.

    The smell of Saturday morning bacon haunts me all weekend, too, it's terrible.

    So this doesn't help in the winter, but fry outside! I used to have a fry daddy that I could plug in, so I would plug it into the outdoor outlet and fry away. I'm debating setting up my camping stove outside the next time I do fried chicken to keep the fry smell outside, and I feel like that should work as well.

    Re gross girls: I was an odd combination of total tomboy that loved to get dirty and rough house, but I would do it while wearing the most frilly dresses possible. My face and hair was always a super-mess though.

    My daughters hair!.... I brush it constantly. Knotted up. I keep pushing her to be more SELF AWARE and start doing things for herself and without prompts. The struggle is real.

    I will say I am quite proficient at simple braids though. I need to learn to french braid.

    I have long hair, down to nearly the bottom of my back. Sometimes I discover massive knots that seem to take up residence in my ponytail. I am 32 and need to be more self aware too!!

    <3 loooove me some long hair. Brings out the *RAWR* in me. :naughty:

    And then you could practice your french braids (plaits where I live) on it!

    LOL please, go on... :innocent:

    Funny thing is I see some women with this long, beautiful, silky smooth, flowing hair that looks like it's never once tangled, well my daughters hair is the exact opposite. Even with gobs of great conditioner, after a day of playing her hair becomes a full on gridlock. Thank God for the 'wet brush'. Such a lifesaver.
    Do you use the kids detangler spray? I carry it with me when I go scuba diving. Long hair (even braided) in the ocean turns into a mat of knots and tangles. I <3 detangler spray. I think Suave makes a version for the kids hair and I find it at the Dollar Tree.
  • nonoelmo
    nonoelmo Posts: 3,941 Member
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    nonoelmo wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    peleroja wrote: »
    That sewing machine! I want!

    Mine is just a basic little Brother but it is pale pink - I can't claim responsibility for that though as it was my mother's before she decided she needed a fancier one.

    I'm glad you all understand my feelings about frying food in the house. Soooo stinky. We don't have an exhaust fan over our stove either (or anywhere in the kitchen), so everything I cook lingers unless I open the windows. Not too practical in our minus 40 degree winters either as it's a recipe for a burst water pipe.

    The smell of Saturday morning bacon haunts me all weekend, too, it's terrible.

    So this doesn't help in the winter, but fry outside! I used to have a fry daddy that I could plug in, so I would plug it into the outdoor outlet and fry away. I'm debating setting up my camping stove outside the next time I do fried chicken to keep the fry smell outside, and I feel like that should work as well.

    Re gross girls: I was an odd combination of total tomboy that loved to get dirty and rough house, but I would do it while wearing the most frilly dresses possible. My face and hair was always a super-mess though.

    My daughters hair!.... I brush it constantly. Knotted up. I keep pushing her to be more SELF AWARE and start doing things for herself and without prompts. The struggle is real.

    I will say I am quite proficient at simple braids though. I need to learn to french braid.

    I have long hair, down to nearly the bottom of my back. Sometimes I discover massive knots that seem to take up residence in my ponytail. I am 32 and need to be more self aware too!!

    <3 loooove me some long hair. Brings out the *RAWR* in me. :naughty:

    And then you could practice your french braids (plaits where I live) on it!

    LOL please, go on... :innocent:

    Funny thing is I see some women with this long, beautiful, silky smooth, flowing hair that looks like it's never once tangled, well my daughters hair is the exact opposite. Even with gobs of great conditioner, after a day of playing her hair becomes a full on gridlock. Thank God for the 'wet brush'. Such a lifesaver.
    Do you use the kids detangler spray? I carry it with me when I go scuba diving. Long hair (even braided) in the ocean turns into a mat of knots and tangles. I <3 detangler spray. I think Suave makes a version for the kids hair and I find it at the Dollar Tree.
    However, I am pretty blessed with hair that now that I'm an adult is still child-fine and silky and does not tangle readily. I run a comb through it when I get out of the shower and MIGHT remember to brush it when it is dry but often I don't brush it before work. It looks brushed.
  • m1xm0d3
    m1xm0d3 Posts: 1,576 Member
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    nonoelmo wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    peleroja wrote: »
    That sewing machine! I want!

    Mine is just a basic little Brother but it is pale pink - I can't claim responsibility for that though as it was my mother's before she decided she needed a fancier one.

    I'm glad you all understand my feelings about frying food in the house. Soooo stinky. We don't have an exhaust fan over our stove either (or anywhere in the kitchen), so everything I cook lingers unless I open the windows. Not too practical in our minus 40 degree winters either as it's a recipe for a burst water pipe.

    The smell of Saturday morning bacon haunts me all weekend, too, it's terrible.

    So this doesn't help in the winter, but fry outside! I used to have a fry daddy that I could plug in, so I would plug it into the outdoor outlet and fry away. I'm debating setting up my camping stove outside the next time I do fried chicken to keep the fry smell outside, and I feel like that should work as well.

    Re gross girls: I was an odd combination of total tomboy that loved to get dirty and rough house, but I would do it while wearing the most frilly dresses possible. My face and hair was always a super-mess though.

    My daughters hair!.... I brush it constantly. Knotted up. I keep pushing her to be more SELF AWARE and start doing things for herself and without prompts. The struggle is real.

    I will say I am quite proficient at simple braids though. I need to learn to french braid.

    I have long hair, down to nearly the bottom of my back. Sometimes I discover massive knots that seem to take up residence in my ponytail. I am 32 and need to be more self aware too!!

    <3 loooove me some long hair. Brings out the *RAWR* in me. :naughty:

    And then you could practice your french braids (plaits where I live) on it!

    LOL please, go on... :innocent:

    Funny thing is I see some women with this long, beautiful, silky smooth, flowing hair that looks like it's never once tangled, well my daughters hair is the exact opposite. Even with gobs of great conditioner, after a day of playing her hair becomes a full on gridlock. Thank God for the 'wet brush'. Such a lifesaver.
    Do you use the kids detangler spray? I carry it with me when I go scuba diving. Long hair (even braided) in the ocean turns into a mat of knots and tangles. I <3 detangler spray. I think Suave makes a version for the kids hair and I find it at the Dollar Tree.

    LOL I do, religiously. Aand I also get the same exact kind from DT because I am too cheap to buy the Johnson & Johnson 'no more tangles' which I think is better.
  • nonoelmo
    nonoelmo Posts: 3,941 Member
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    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    peleroja wrote: »
    That sewing machine! I want!

    Mine is just a basic little Brother but it is pale pink - I can't claim responsibility for that though as it was my mother's before she decided she needed a fancier one.

    I'm glad you all understand my feelings about frying food in the house. Soooo stinky. We don't have an exhaust fan over our stove either (or anywhere in the kitchen), so everything I cook lingers unless I open the windows. Not too practical in our minus 40 degree winters either as it's a recipe for a burst water pipe.

    The smell of Saturday morning bacon haunts me all weekend, too, it's terrible.

    So this doesn't help in the winter, but fry outside! I used to have a fry daddy that I could plug in, so I would plug it into the outdoor outlet and fry away. I'm debating setting up my camping stove outside the next time I do fried chicken to keep the fry smell outside, and I feel like that should work as well.

    Re gross girls: I was an odd combination of total tomboy that loved to get dirty and rough house, but I would do it while wearing the most frilly dresses possible. My face and hair was always a super-mess though.

    My daughters hair!.... I brush it constantly. Knotted up. I keep pushing her to be more SELF AWARE and start doing things for herself and without prompts. The struggle is real.

    I will say I am quite proficient at simple braids though. I need to learn to french braid.

    I have long hair, down to nearly the bottom of my back. Sometimes I discover massive knots that seem to take up residence in my ponytail. I am 32 and need to be more self aware too!!

    <3 loooove me some long hair. Brings out the *RAWR* in me. :naughty:

    And then you could practice your french braids (plaits where I live) on it!

    LOL please, go on... :innocent:

    Funny thing is I see some women with this long, beautiful, silky smooth, flowing hair that looks like it's never once tangled, well my daughters hair is the exact opposite. Even with gobs of great conditioner, after a day of playing her hair becomes a full on gridlock. Thank God for the 'wet brush'. Such a lifesaver.
    Do you use the kids detangler spray? I carry it with me when I go scuba diving. Long hair (even braided) in the ocean turns into a mat of knots and tangles. I <3 detangler spray. I think Suave makes a version for the kids hair and I find it at the Dollar Tree.

    LOL I do, religiously. Aand I also get the same exact kind from DT because I am too cheap to buy the Johnson & Johnson 'no more tangles' which I think is better.
    Cheap is good! For the few times a year I need it, the DT brand works for me. I do, however, condition religiously and I don't shampoo every day.
  • nonoelmo
    nonoelmo Posts: 3,941 Member
    edited July 2015
    Options
    @m1xm0d3 If I recall correctly (b/c I don't always make a mental note of such things) I think I'm heading toward your neck of the woods tomorrow. SO is doing Triple Bypass. I am not. I am visiting friends and cousins and chilling in a cabin. We are headed to Evergreen - Road trip time!! :smiley:

    ETA for those who don't know, Triple Bypass is a bike ride for people who like climbing. It is 120 miles, three mountains, 10,000 (or so) feet of climbing.
  • girldownsouth
    girldownsouth Posts: 920 Member
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    nonoelmo wrote: »
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    peleroja wrote: »
    That sewing machine! I want!

    Mine is just a basic little Brother but it is pale pink - I can't claim responsibility for that though as it was my mother's before she decided she needed a fancier one.

    I'm glad you all understand my feelings about frying food in the house. Soooo stinky. We don't have an exhaust fan over our stove either (or anywhere in the kitchen), so everything I cook lingers unless I open the windows. Not too practical in our minus 40 degree winters either as it's a recipe for a burst water pipe.

    The smell of Saturday morning bacon haunts me all weekend, too, it's terrible.

    So this doesn't help in the winter, but fry outside! I used to have a fry daddy that I could plug in, so I would plug it into the outdoor outlet and fry away. I'm debating setting up my camping stove outside the next time I do fried chicken to keep the fry smell outside, and I feel like that should work as well.

    Re gross girls: I was an odd combination of total tomboy that loved to get dirty and rough house, but I would do it while wearing the most frilly dresses possible. My face and hair was always a super-mess though.

    My daughters hair!.... I brush it constantly. Knotted up. I keep pushing her to be more SELF AWARE and start doing things for herself and without prompts. The struggle is real.

    I will say I am quite proficient at simple braids though. I need to learn to french braid.

    I have long hair, down to nearly the bottom of my back. Sometimes I discover massive knots that seem to take up residence in my ponytail. I am 32 and need to be more self aware too!!

    <3 loooove me some long hair. Brings out the *RAWR* in me. :naughty:

    And then you could practice your french braids (plaits where I live) on it!

    LOL please, go on... :innocent:

    Funny thing is I see some women with this long, beautiful, silky smooth, flowing hair that looks like it's never once tangled, well my daughters hair is the exact opposite. Even with gobs of great conditioner, after a day of playing her hair becomes a full on gridlock. Thank God for the 'wet brush'. Such a lifesaver.
    Do you use the kids detangler spray? I carry it with me when I go scuba diving. Long hair (even braided) in the ocean turns into a mat of knots and tangles. I <3 detangler spray. I think Suave makes a version for the kids hair and I find it at the Dollar Tree.
    However, I am pretty blessed with hair that now that I'm an adult is still child-fine and silky and does not tangle readily. I run a comb through it when I get out of the shower and MIGHT remember to brush it when it is dry but often I don't brush it before work. It looks brushed.

    Mine is really fine too, but I have loads and it tangles. It's soft and shiny because it's so fine, but people think it's thick. I don't brush mine much as it has a natural curl/wave which works better when it's just left, so I tend to only brush it just before I wash it.
  • nonoelmo
    nonoelmo Posts: 3,941 Member
    Options
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    peleroja wrote: »
    That sewing machine! I want!

    Mine is just a basic little Brother but it is pale pink - I can't claim responsibility for that though as it was my mother's before she decided she needed a fancier one.

    I'm glad you all understand my feelings about frying food in the house. Soooo stinky. We don't have an exhaust fan over our stove either (or anywhere in the kitchen), so everything I cook lingers unless I open the windows. Not too practical in our minus 40 degree winters either as it's a recipe for a burst water pipe.

    The smell of Saturday morning bacon haunts me all weekend, too, it's terrible.

    So this doesn't help in the winter, but fry outside! I used to have a fry daddy that I could plug in, so I would plug it into the outdoor outlet and fry away. I'm debating setting up my camping stove outside the next time I do fried chicken to keep the fry smell outside, and I feel like that should work as well.

    Re gross girls: I was an odd combination of total tomboy that loved to get dirty and rough house, but I would do it while wearing the most frilly dresses possible. My face and hair was always a super-mess though.

    My daughters hair!.... I brush it constantly. Knotted up. I keep pushing her to be more SELF AWARE and start doing things for herself and without prompts. The struggle is real.

    I will say I am quite proficient at simple braids though. I need to learn to french braid.

    I have long hair, down to nearly the bottom of my back. Sometimes I discover massive knots that seem to take up residence in my ponytail. I am 32 and need to be more self aware too!!

    <3 loooove me some long hair. Brings out the *RAWR* in me. :naughty:

    And then you could practice your french braids (plaits where I live) on it!

    LOL please, go on... :innocent:

    Funny thing is I see some women with this long, beautiful, silky smooth, flowing hair that looks like it's never once tangled, well my daughters hair is the exact opposite. Even with gobs of great conditioner, after a day of playing her hair becomes a full on gridlock. Thank God for the 'wet brush'. Such a lifesaver.
    Do you use the kids detangler spray? I carry it with me when I go scuba diving. Long hair (even braided) in the ocean turns into a mat of knots and tangles. I <3 detangler spray. I think Suave makes a version for the kids hair and I find it at the Dollar Tree.
    However, I am pretty blessed with hair that now that I'm an adult is still child-fine and silky and does not tangle readily. I run a comb through it when I get out of the shower and MIGHT remember to brush it when it is dry but often I don't brush it before work. It looks brushed.

    Mine is really fine too, but I have loads and it tangles. It's soft and shiny because it's so fine, but people think it's thick. I don't brush mine much as it has a natural curl/wave which works better when it's just left, so I tend to only brush it just before I wash it.
    It sounds pretty!!


  • FroggyBug
    FroggyBug Posts: 4,883 Member
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    pofoster21 wrote: »
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    pofoster21 wrote: »
    Just stopping in to post today's shoes....ulq7mbl1xexy.jpg
    wr6rz3tf7ayl.jpg
    Cute. Love the shoes.
    I wear size 4.5 so I special order them.

    We have nearly the same polish on today. Mine is half a shade lighter.

    Crap. Size 4.5? Do you have freakishly small feet or are you super tiny?

    Haha this made me laugh. I'm jealous of small feet. I wear a 9.5 usually.
  • FluffySandwich
    FluffySandwich Posts: 1,293 Member
    edited July 2015
    Options
    My hair tangles so easily. When I was little I would sometimes have tantrums when my mom tried to brush out the knots. I remember going to school once with a huge rat's nest in my hair, and another time (kindergarden) where I screamed and kicked the wall so much that my mom gave up, slapped a bow on my head, and sent me to my school's picture day with a huge mass of tangles. My teacher tried her hardest to comb out my hair before I got my picture taken, but she couldn't do it... so I have that picture as proof that I could be difficult.
  • girldownsouth
    girldownsouth Posts: 920 Member
    Options
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    m1xm0d3 wrote: »
    peleroja wrote: »
    That sewing machine! I want!

    Mine is just a basic little Brother but it is pale pink - I can't claim responsibility for that though as it was my mother's before she decided she needed a fancier one.

    I'm glad you all understand my feelings about frying food in the house. Soooo stinky. We don't have an exhaust fan over our stove either (or anywhere in the kitchen), so everything I cook lingers unless I open the windows. Not too practical in our minus 40 degree winters either as it's a recipe for a burst water pipe.

    The smell of Saturday morning bacon haunts me all weekend, too, it's terrible.

    So this doesn't help in the winter, but fry outside! I used to have a fry daddy that I could plug in, so I would plug it into the outdoor outlet and fry away. I'm debating setting up my camping stove outside the next time I do fried chicken to keep the fry smell outside, and I feel like that should work as well.

    Re gross girls: I was an odd combination of total tomboy that loved to get dirty and rough house, but I would do it while wearing the most frilly dresses possible. My face and hair was always a super-mess though.

    My daughters hair!.... I brush it constantly. Knotted up. I keep pushing her to be more SELF AWARE and start doing things for herself and without prompts. The struggle is real.

    I will say I am quite proficient at simple braids though. I need to learn to french braid.

    I have long hair, down to nearly the bottom of my back. Sometimes I discover massive knots that seem to take up residence in my ponytail. I am 32 and need to be more self aware too!!

    <3 loooove me some long hair. Brings out the *RAWR* in me. :naughty:

    And then you could practice your french braids (plaits where I live) on it!

    LOL please, go on... :innocent:

    Funny thing is I see some women with this long, beautiful, silky smooth, flowing hair that looks like it's never once tangled, well my daughters hair is the exact opposite. Even with gobs of great conditioner, after a day of playing her hair becomes a full on gridlock. Thank God for the 'wet brush'. Such a lifesaver.
    Do you use the kids detangler spray? I carry it with me when I go scuba diving. Long hair (even braided) in the ocean turns into a mat of knots and tangles. I <3 detangler spray. I think Suave makes a version for the kids hair and I find it at the Dollar Tree.
    However, I am pretty blessed with hair that now that I'm an adult is still child-fine and silky and does not tangle readily. I run a comb through it when I get out of the shower and MIGHT remember to brush it when it is dry but often I don't brush it before work. It looks brushed.

    Mine is really fine too, but I have loads and it tangles. It's soft and shiny because it's so fine, but people think it's thick. I don't brush mine much as it has a natural curl/wave which works better when it's just left, so I tend to only brush it just before I wash it.
    It sounds pretty!!


    Thank you :) I do actually love my hair!
  • m1xm0d3
    m1xm0d3 Posts: 1,576 Member
    Options
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    @m1xm0d3 If I recall correctly (b/c I don't always make a mental note of such things) I think I'm heading toward your neck of the woods tomorrow. SO is doing Triple Bypass. I am not. I am visiting friends and cousins and chilling in a cabin. We are headed to Evergreen - Road trip time!! :smiley:

    ETA for those who don't know, Triple Bypass is a bike ride for people who like climbing. It is 120 miles, three mountains, 10,000 (or so) feet of climbing.

    I am in Virginia but I looked in to that ride and it sounds amazingly brutal! Best wishes to his ride!
  • nonoelmo
    nonoelmo Posts: 3,941 Member
    Options
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    Kalici wrote: »
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    nonoelmo wrote: »

    ETA: I "learned" to date in my 40's. I never "dated" like that before, I didn't know how to do it. It was so fun and cool (and scary) to discover so much about myself. I was always 100% myself and clear that I was looking for a good relationship. I did work hard on keeping good boundaries and only dating men who didn't raise red flags.

    What are some red flags for people?
    The one's I really looked for:

    Very angry/resentful toward someone (i.e., ex, mother, sibling, etc.) even if deserved it should not come out in date #1 or #2.

    Pushing for "cuddles" or anything else very quickly.

    Not understanding what an appropriate level of activity for a first or second date would be (i.e. writing a song for me after one email exchange, planning a weekend away in another state for a second date.)

    Not having an appropriate job for his age (i.e. I am in the middle age dating pool, I want to date someone not support him financially.)

    What other red flags come to mind?




    Not letting me do things for myself e.g. insisting on ordering something for me instead of letting me order what I want and other weird signs of dominance.

    Talking about their ex repeatedly in anyway. Glowing terms can be just as bad as negative ones. My ex girlfriend was so good to me she'd drop everything to make me my favorite dinner and then she'd clean up the entire kitchen.

    Treating staff where ever you go badly. I think you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat people who're waiting on them.

    Calling too much (I had one guy literally calling me over 30 times in one day) or too little (if you haven't heard from them in a month they're not really interested).

    I agree with these and the others listed earlier. Good stuff

    I would also add

    If you are a mom the guy wanting to be insta-dad. I vaguely mentioned my kids in my profile and more than one man in the first email offered to help raise them. No thank you.

    The player who is almost seems like relationship material but fails. He comes so close and is charming and good looking and rich. And them you realize he's flakey as heck. And his almost commitments are insincere and then he tells you he's been divorced twice not just once and was with wife #2 while still with wife #1. And then you let him know no more. You will not be going out with him again.

    No projects. He is not there to fix or improve you. You are not there to fix or improve him.

    You have to like each other as people and be interested in who that person is. That means no projecting. One man kept trying to put words into my mouth about what I liked and what I did for fun.

    Where was this advice when I was dating? You should teach a class! All the single ladies, looking for someone, in this thread should start taking notes!!
    Develop your passive aggressive detection radar. (Speaking from experience)

    I really agree with how does he treat people who are in the service industry. Kindness and human decency are priorities to me.

    How does he treat animals?

    BIG red flag - is he always the victim and life is not fair and it is always someone else's fault. RUN!!!
  • girldownsouth
    girldownsouth Posts: 920 Member
    edited July 2015
    Options
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    Kalici wrote: »
    nonoelmo wrote: »
    nonoelmo wrote: »

    ETA: I "learned" to date in my 40's. I never "dated" like that before, I didn't know how to do it. It was so fun and cool (and scary) to discover so much about myself. I was always 100% myself and clear that I was looking for a good relationship. I did work hard on keeping good boundaries and only dating men who didn't raise red flags.

    What are some red flags for people?
    The one's I really looked for:

    Very angry/resentful toward someone (i.e., ex, mother, sibling, etc.) even if deserved it should not come out in date #1 or #2.

    Pushing for "cuddles" or anything else very quickly.

    Not understanding what an appropriate level of activity for a first or second date would be (i.e. writing a song for me after one email exchange, planning a weekend away in another state for a second date.)

    Not having an appropriate job for his age (i.e. I am in the middle age dating pool, I want to date someone not support him financially.)

    What other red flags come to mind?




    Not letting me do things for myself e.g. insisting on ordering something for me instead of letting me order what I want and other weird signs of dominance.

    Talking about their ex repeatedly in anyway. Glowing terms can be just as bad as negative ones. My ex girlfriend was so good to me she'd drop everything to make me my favorite dinner and then she'd clean up the entire kitchen.

    Treating staff where ever you go badly. I think you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat people who're waiting on them.

    Calling too much (I had one guy literally calling me over 30 times in one day) or too little (if you haven't heard from them in a month they're not really interested).

    I agree with these and the others listed earlier. Good stuff

    I would also add

    If you are a mom the guy wanting to be insta-dad. I vaguely mentioned my kids in my profile and more than one man in the first email offered to help raise them. No thank you.

    The player who is almost seems like relationship material but fails. He comes so close and is charming and good looking and rich. And them you realize he's flakey as heck. And his almost commitments are insincere and then he tells you he's been divorced twice not just once and was with wife #2 while still with wife #1. And then you let him know no more. You will not be going out with him again.

    No projects. He is not there to fix or improve you. You are not there to fix or improve him.

    You have to like each other as people and be interested in who that person is. That means no projecting. One man kept trying to put words into my mouth about what I liked and what I did for fun.

    Where was this advice when I was dating? You should teach a class! All the single ladies, looking for someone, in this thread should start taking notes!!
    Develop your passive aggressive detection radar. (Speaking from experience)

    I really agree with how does he treat people who are in the service industry. Kindness and human decency are priorities to me.

    How does he treat animals?

    BIG red flag - is he always the victim and life is not fair and it is always someone else's fault. RUN!!!

    I probably shouldn't say this, but this is one of my biggest struggles with my bf, maybe not to that extent, but there's always someone to blame (often me) and things never just happen and are unfortunate, which tends to be more my outlook. I always say as an example, if I left something out and he tripped, would be my fault for leaving it there. Vice versa would be my fault for not looking where I was going.

    Edited because I didn't think it was clear.
  • kellienw335
    kellienw335 Posts: 1,745 Member
    Options
    @orangesmartie - I was afraid that it was something like that. You are super great and deserve the best! I'm sorry you are going through all of this. Hugs to you!
  • kellienw335
    kellienw335 Posts: 1,745 Member
    Options
    @Susieq_1994 - I didn't want to bother you because figured that you were recovering or it was staying the same. A sport wheelchair? That sounds like it would be a huge help. Prayers and hugs!
  • riderfangal
    riderfangal Posts: 1,965 Member
    Options
    LBuehrle8 wrote: »
    Kalici wrote: »
    I've never been a fan of pickles. I can't imagine them fried. :s

    Blasphemy! However, to be helpful I will have all your dill pickles. The sweet pickles can go die in a fire though.

    Amen to that! I hate when I grab a pickle, pop it in my mouth, and then find out it is a sweet pickle. Gag.

    Another hater on sweet pickles here :s just can't do it

    Count me in too. Yuck!!!
  • AngryViking1970
    AngryViking1970 Posts: 2,847 Member
    Options
    Tubbs216 wrote: »
    Anyone read about the new skinny Oreos? Thoughts? Joy? Outrage?
    (Warning: It's Jezebel, so swearage)
    http://jezebel.com/oreo-thins-promote-unrealistic-standards-for-oreos-1716047232

    Eww! Less filling? The filling is the best part! I would buy a jar of that stuff.

    Sounds like the next million dollar idea. Let's get on that.
  • Glinda1971
    Glinda1971 Posts: 2,328 Member
    edited July 2015
    Options
    So it seems a bunch of us on here are sweet pickle haters who eat our pizza weird.

    Good to know. ;)