Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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kelly_c_77 wrote: »So Skye is back to her normal tail chasing, toy playing, furniture scratching, queen diva self. She was running laps up and down the hallway this morning and tackling the (much) bigger male cats. She even ate her dry food without any hesitation. YAY! Thanks for all the well wishes!
Yay!0 -
Sometime I like to read success stories from morbidly obese/highly overweight people who have lost hundreds of lbs to make myself feel guilty about not wanting to do the work for the 20 lbs from my cw to my gw.0
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orangesmartie wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »So, I posted this as my status, but I thought I'd share it here too...
Well, I turned a negative into a positive and took advantage of my extra awake time. I hopped on the treadmill with plans to just do my regular speed walk/trot/run. But after the first few minutes, I felt pretty good(even with almost 4 extra pounds of water weight from yesterday's horrible eating) so I decided to set a goal and go for it. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!! I ran my first ever half marathon! I had to stop once for a bathroom break...but otherwise, never stopped. The longest I've ever run without stopping previously was 11ish miles. So, YAY!!
And my other goal that I had posted in the Batcave the other day was to beat my highest step count which was 37,659. I should be able to crush it today because as of 6:48am, I am at 25,843.
quiksylver296 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Fourth of July BBQ - I am taking steaks, watermelon, corn on the cob, vinegar cucumbers (my son's favorite), and cherry cheesecake. Mostly healthy, right? I'm blaming the cheesecake on you guys!!!
Can I have some cheesecake!!!???
Sure, come on over!!! Idaho isn't far, right?!?
ETA: it's just the Jello kind, which I confess is my favorite. Unsophisticated palate right here! LOL
There is a big tri in Idaho. Maybe I'll add it to my list of races to do if you'll make cheese cake! As long as its not the ricotta cheese kind I am happy!
Which tri? Where? I'm outside of Boise by about 40 minutes. And no ricotta in my cheesecake.
My Coworker went last week to the iron man in Couer d'Alene, Idaho. Apparently people like to go there because it's generally pretty cool, but this year was record high temps.
Couer d'Alene is gorgeous, but nowhere near me.
Same state. I can still stop by for cheesecake. I'll let you know when I sign up! Right now I have a 1/2 Ironman in Indiana, an Ironman in WI this year, 4 races to do in FL in Jan, a marathon in TN in April and a mountain to climb in England in July next year...so may need to wait until 2017.
If you're climbing @orangesmartie 's mountain, it's in Scotland. Never confuse England and Scotland in front of a Scot, it won't go down well!
It sure doesn't!! I'm a score hen and bred and I hate being called English (even though I now have an English accent, which I hate....)
Seriously you are Scottish? This is getting better and better. I am 100% Irish BTW.0 -
Same here! I admit, I'm not the biggest Cold Stone fan though.
Where I live in Texas we actually have both!! Marble Slab and Cold Stone!spacequiztime wrote: »I
Same. I signed up for the Marble Slab rewards program today and already plan on using the coupon they give you for signing up. :laugh:
If I had a free blizzard coupon, it would have never got that close...unless it was 3 days away from expiring the day I got itkelly_c_77 wrote: »Ugh...feeling like I'm going to cave in today and go redeem my free Blizzard from Dairy Queen...it expires in 3 days.
I would use it but that's just me. Just cut some calories each day to help with a deficit maybe?
Mmm We had marble slab in Texas...I make do with Cold Stone up here but it's not the same
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Yes! That is such an awesome relationship. Reading about you guys gives me a warm feeling insidekelly_c_77 wrote: »
That's SO cute!!!!!Thanks, everyone! It really is the most gorgeous piece of jewelry I own, that's for sure. I was bummed because it was supposed to come in a couple days before we left, but they never called...or so I thought.
I told Mr. Mo I was disappointed because I was hoping to have my ring before we left so I could show it to my brother (who we were lucky enough to get to see while down there). He said he was bummed too, but at least I'd have something to look forward to when we got home.
Unbeknownst to me, that little turd picked it up the Wednesday before we left, and snuck it in his carryon. On our anniversary, we decided to go to breakfast, then do some shopping on another key, then go seashell, and shark tooth hunting. While on the beach hunting, he got a little ahead of me lower on the beach looking for shells while I'm still working my way down the hill. He turns around and asks me, "So, what do you think of this little one?" In the palm of his hand was my ring. It was so cute and romantic. He told me every time I mentioned being bummed about not having my ring ahead of time, he laughed to himself. He's such a brat sometimes.
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riderfangal wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Hi guys, checking in. I went camping over the weekend and it was pretty nice. It was my kid's first time camping in the actual outdoor woods. I know people do it, but I was very worried about camping with any babies, so this year was the first year I felt comfortable. They loved it, and I'm so glad because I plan on taking them out a lot this summer.
The thread is messed up for me and I lost my spot. If I missed anything someone said to me, I'm sorry. I haven't heard back from the police about my sister yet. I guess they don't care as much if someone pretends to be you as a witness instead of a criminal.
Thirdly - I saw someone mention Goodreads. If anyone wants to add me, you can! I love sharing books with friends.
https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/8630108-amber
I added you.
My name is Tammy, and my Siamese kitty Max is my profile pic there.
https://goodreads.com/user/show/5477691-tammy
Trying to fix so I can link...
Ok, I created a profile and added you both!
https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/44563667
Hope this works to link to me
Nice! I think Goodreads gives much better book recommendations than Amazon. Amazon is always recommending books that I bought from them. I already read that!
I never heard of goodreads, I am going to check it out after I finish catching up. But if we share book recommendations it won't do much to link to me... I mostly read historical romances these days as my poor brain can't handle anything else.
No worries I read those too!!
Yay!
Have you read any of Donna Grants books. Love her!
No! Going to look her up tonight too!0 -
I think I own 1201. Thank goodness that nets to 21.0
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I hear ya with sweets control. I went back to finish logging my weekend and I probably ate more sweets than anything on Sunday and probably would have on Saturday had it not been for the pizza.kelly_c_77 wrote: »spacequiztime wrote: »I
Same. I signed up for the Marble Slab rewards program today and already plan on using the coupon they give you for signing up. :laugh:
If I had a free blizzard coupon, it would have never got that close...unless it was 3 days away from expiring the day I got itkelly_c_77 wrote: »Ugh...feeling like I'm going to cave in today and go redeem my free Blizzard from Dairy Queen...it expires in 3 days.
I would use it but that's just me. Just cut some calories each day to help with a deficit maybe?
I have been so close to going since I got it 2 weeks ago. But I have waaaay overindulged many days already..
Also, my husband is working a ton lately and never home which means it's me and my son...so 2 medium blizzards(it's buy one get one free) between the two of us means I'm eating 1.75 of the 2. Which is great except that I have to get myself under control with my sweets...and eating almost 2 whole blizzards doesn't exactly fall into that category.
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Cool stuff! I confess that while I am a HUGE chicken with amusement park rides but want to try riding a coaster just to see how I'll fit.kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »I'm almost 30 pages behind (largely avoided my laptop this weekend and was off today) but I'm still alive!
NSV: Put on a shirt today that I wore on vacation two years ago. The difference is huge, and that was such a great motivation boost!
Sweeet! Congrats! My NSV this weekend was going to the amusement park and not having to skip rides or sit in the XL seating, if available. I was able to ride rides that I had not since 2013. Rides that I also could not fit their restraints even just a few months ago. Made me feel really good!
Great NSVs!
Which ride did you enjoy the most?
My fav is the 300 ft Drop Tower. But the Dale Earnhardt Intimidator is the best coaster there. Sooo fast and smooth.
(Taken 4th of July before the fireworks)
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pofoster21 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Hi guys, checking in. I went camping over the weekend and it was pretty nice. It was my kid's first time camping in the actual outdoor woods. I know people do it, but I was very worried about camping with any babies, so this year was the first year I felt comfortable. They loved it, and I'm so glad because I plan on taking them out a lot this summer.
The thread is messed up for me and I lost my spot. If I missed anything someone said to me, I'm sorry. I haven't heard back from the police about my sister yet. I guess they don't care as much if someone pretends to be you as a witness instead of a criminal.
Thirdly - I saw someone mention Goodreads. If anyone wants to add me, you can! I love sharing books with friends.
https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/8630108-amber
I added you.
My name is Tammy, and my Siamese kitty Max is my profile pic there.
https://goodreads.com/user/show/5477691-tammy
Trying to fix so I can link...
Ok, I created a profile and added you both!
https://www.goodreads.com/review/list/44563667
Hope this works to link to me
Nice! I think Goodreads gives much better book recommendations than Amazon. Amazon is always recommending books that I bought from them. I already read that!
I never heard of goodreads, I am going to check it out after I finish catching up. But if we share book recommendations it won't do much to link to me... I mostly read historical romances these days as my poor brain can't handle anything else.
No worries I read those too!!
Yay!
Have you read any of Donna Grants books. Love her!
No! Going to look her up tonight too!
A lot of her books are series if you like that kind of thing. I would recommend doing a little research so you start with the first book if you think you might like her. I will look in my library to see if I can remember which one i started with
ETA I started with the Druid Glen series. Highland Mist is the first book.0 -
I'm 4'11" 111-113 lbs. I'm small but not skinny. I put a picture of me and SO on the random picture thread in the batcave.pofoster21 wrote: »
Cute. Love the shoes.pofoster21 wrote: »Just stopping in to post today's shoes....
I wear size 4.5 so I special order them.
We have nearly the same polish on today. Mine is half a shade lighter.
Crap. Size 4.5? Do you have freakishly small feet or are you super tiny?
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I'm 4'11" 111-113 lbs. I'm small but not skinny. I put a picture of me and SO on the random picture thread in the batcave.pofoster21 wrote: »
Cute. Love the shoes.pofoster21 wrote: »Just stopping in to post today's shoes....
I wear size 4.5 so I special order them.
We have nearly the same polish on today. Mine is half a shade lighter.
Crap. Size 4.5? Do you have freakishly small feet or are you super tiny?
Even so... that is tiny. I will check it out.0 -
spacequiztime wrote: »
Cool stuff! I confess that while I am a HUGE chicken with amusement park rides but want to try riding a coaster just to see how I'll fit.kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »I'm almost 30 pages behind (largely avoided my laptop this weekend and was off today) but I'm still alive!
NSV: Put on a shirt today that I wore on vacation two years ago. The difference is huge, and that was such a great motivation boost!
Sweeet! Congrats! My NSV this weekend was going to the amusement park and not having to skip rides or sit in the XL seating, if available. I was able to ride rides that I had not since 2013. Rides that I also could not fit their restraints even just a few months ago. Made me feel really good!
Great NSVs!
Which ride did you enjoy the most?
My fav is the 300 ft Drop Tower. But the Dale Earnhardt Intimidator is the best coaster there. Sooo fast and smooth.
(Taken 4th of July before the fireworks)
I love roller coasters. Especially ones that go upside down.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »@LBuehrle8 and @ShibaEars, I just kind of dress like a toddler, haha (my profile photo, for example...I frequently see three year olds at my ski resort in exactly the same colour combo.) I'm into fun stuff and bright colours...life is too short to wear black all the time. My husband says it's an aesthetic combo of Elle Woods from Legally Blonde and _____Barbie (depending on the occasion, I'm Ski Barbie or Airport Barbie or Camping Barbie or whatever), but fortunately he finds it endearing and doesn't laugh at me too much.
I special order PINK framed safety glasses for the lab and I wear them at home too. Six pairs I've ordered. Pink jeans, bright cute dresses. I'm with you and I bet you look adorable and smoking hot at the same time.
Pink safety glasses! I have no need for safety glasses but now I just want some.
I do, however, have a pink toolbox and pink tools. My dad bought them for me years ago and I get a lot of joy out of pulling out my pink cordless drill or hammer or whatever.
It's been killing me for a while that I have boring black and white skis, too...I am dying for a pair of super bright ones. But I made the responsible choice when I bought them and got the ones that performed the best for me and not the cutest ones. Sigh. Still, I think I have my husband convinced that I need a narrower, less-powder-friendly ski for hard/icy conditions so I'm going to try to find a suitably silly pair. There's a brand out there that makes skis with these crazy, neon bottoms that I am seriously tempted by...plus it would be so much easier for us to find my skis under three feet of snow when I veer off into the trees and crash, right? It's a safety concern!
I'm thinking a pink paddle board with the periodic table on it screams "Dr. Nonoelmo!" It May be in the works.
ETA: Can you customize them? I have not skied in a long time.
I LOVE this. With enough money you can customize anything.
Or if you know a person in the business
That too0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »
I'm 4'11" 111-113 lbs. I'm small but not skinny. I put a picture of me and SO on the random picture thread in the batcave.pofoster21 wrote: »
Cute. Love the shoes.pofoster21 wrote: »Just stopping in to post today's shoes....
I wear size 4.5 so I special order them.
We have nearly the same polish on today. Mine is half a shade lighter.
Crap. Size 4.5? Do you have freakishly small feet or are you super tiny?
Even so... that is tiny. I will check it out.
I'm a big personality so I think I'm not so short but my feet are proportionate to the rest of me. I don't think my feet show in that picture.
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kelly_c_77 wrote: »Ugh...feeling like I'm going to cave in today and go redeem my free Blizzard from Dairy Queen...it expires in 3 days.
Treats are okay sometimes! If you did go get one (I am once again really far behind on posts) I hope it was really enjoyable.
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ETA: I "learned" to date in my 40's. I never "dated" like that before, I didn't know how to do it. It was so fun and cool (and scary) to discover so much about myself. I was always 100% myself and clear that I was looking for a good relationship. I did work hard on keeping good boundaries and only dating men who didn't raise red flags.
What are some red flags for people?
The one's I really looked for:
Very angry/resentful toward someone (i.e., ex, mother, sibling, etc.) even if deserved it should not come out in date #1 or #2.
Pushing for "cuddles" or anything else very quickly.
Not understanding what an appropriate level of activity for a first or second date would be (i.e. writing a song for me after one email exchange, planning a weekend away in another state for a second date.)
Not having an appropriate job for his age (i.e. I am in the middle age dating pool, I want to date someone not support him financially.)
What other red flags come to mind?
Not letting me do things for myself e.g. insisting on ordering something for me instead of letting me order what I want and other weird signs of dominance.
Talking about their ex repeatedly in anyway. Glowing terms can be just as bad as negative ones. My ex girlfriend was so good to me she'd drop everything to make me my favorite dinner and then she'd clean up the entire kitchen.
Treating staff where ever you go badly. I think you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat people who're waiting on them.
Calling too much (I had one guy literally calling me over 30 times in one day) or too little (if you haven't heard from them in a month they're not really interested).
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Yes, this was actually my first thought, because I had a positive experience with the three (3!) Mirenas I had. Our doctor wasn't keen to try that as a first attempt, because my daughter's young and had no children. However, I think the next time she has an appointment I'll go with her and press the point a little. Something has to happen.
I really hope those things help her. It's so hard, seeing them struggle, isn't it? Should that work straight away? I thought anti-depressants generally take a few weeks to kick in. Are anti-anxiety meds quicker?rungirl1973 wrote: »
Oh, so sorryrungirl1973 wrote: »Daughter went to the doctor this morning. If I wasn't there, she wouldn't have told them the whole story, so I went with. The anxiety, it's worse than I realized. Poor girl, she has anxiety over every social situation. I had no idea.
Anyhow, they are checking her thyroid, gave her a prescription, and she'll go back in 4 weeks to see how it's going.
My son went to the dentist. I know there are thousands of dollars of work that needs to be done on his teeth. The dentist sent him home with a "procedure plan" to review and plan for the next steps. Ugh. I guess I'll look at that when I get home. But, really, what am I going to do? He only has one set of teeth. They have to be taken care of, or he'll have dentures by age 25. Dang kid. What was the prescription for? The anxiety?
I could have written this. My daughter is really struggling too (19 yo - the one with anemia, which is not improving), and we had to spend $2000 on fillings for my son because he didn't brush properly when he had braces. Seriously, kid?
Yes, for anxiety. A previous doctor had tried a couple of things that didn't seem to help at all, so she's trying Pristiq and Klonopin temporarily for immediate relief.
My daughter has to have another blood test this week, which will test her iron but also her thyroid function. She was put on the seasonal pill to reduce her heavy periods, but she's had constant bleeding ever since she started taking in (6 weeks), so it seems counter-productive. I know these things take time to settle down, so I'm encouraging her to stick with it, but she's so exhausted and weepy all the time. It's having a huge impact on her life and I feel desperately sorry for her.
have the dr's thought about moving her to an IUD?
after about the first 6 months, my periods are barely a blip on the radar.
i used to have really heavy periods with debilitating cramps, but since the mirena, the difference has been amazing.
It's great that you found something that helped you! Bad periods suck
Colorado had a program running for lower income women and teenage girls and they were prescribing IUDs all over the place, whether or not they had had children beforehand. I think your Doctor is dealing with old information (it used to be against recommendations), but now it isn't considered a problem at all. I know there is a smaller IUD now as well, but I can't recall the name unfortunately. I don't know if it would be possible to get another doctor if yours continues to refuse?0 -
spacequiztime wrote: »I've never been a fan of pickles. I can't imagine them fried.
Blasphemy! However, to be helpful I will have all your dill pickles. The sweet pickles can go die in a fire though.
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berlynnwall wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »
Chiming in here....your date is probably over already, hope it went well!
post date update:
met the dude at a tavern downtown. really super nice guy. had good conversation, were able to laugh and joke a lot, which is awesome. not creepy and not meh (woo!) lol
issues i'm currently trying to reconcile in my brain: (remember NO JUDGEMENT)
- if i hadn't met him on a dating website, where orientation is posted, i would NEVER believe this guy is straight. i texted my friend (who is gay) that i was on a date with his straight doppelganger. so many times through out the night in my head i was just like, omg this is frank, i'm on a date with straight frank. boisterous, animated, like that always turned on and ready to take the stage personality.
- very very talkative. which isn't terrible, but he'd ask me something and half way through my story, he'd being going off on a tangent on something else, and completely cut me off. so like, a 3 minute story would take me like 10 minutes as i'd have to reel him back off the tangent, pick up where i left off and keep going. and the random tangents were funny and he had tons of interesting things to talk about, but seriously talked way more than me. way, way more.
- he's about an inch taller than me, and has a much more slender build. i'm quite "thick," i have tree trunk thighs that aren't going anywhere. so it's kinda like oh, here's dude and his fat girlfriend. and maybe that's dumb of me to think, but i do.
he did say he had a really good time and would like to see me again. which i might do to see if maybe he was just nervous/excited on the "first" date?
Glad he wasn't crazy.
I'd go out with him again and see how that goes. He may have been a nervous talker?
My husband is a little ADHD. He'll tell a story, go off on a tangent, and I have to reel him back in regularly. I've gotten used to that. That point hit home for me. LOL
I also sometimes have to say, "Can I finish my story?" when he cuts me off. He doesn't even realize he's doing it.
That's different than somebody who's so stuck on himself that he won't listen to you...
My favorite story about my ex, who absolutely has ADHD and not just a little:
We had just gotten back from the clinic where we found out I was pregnant. We were both panicked, trying to figure out what to do. He was saying that we had to get married, I was like "no way". I was crying. It was a mess. Then all of a sudden, he looks at me dead serious and asks "do you believe in aliens? Because I saw this show on TV about how aliens..." I was so dumbfounded. All I could do was crack up laughing.
At least it served as a distraction technique?
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laurajo521 wrote: »Can I still make a confession? Please don't think any less of me, because this is horrible.
Whenever I go to the gym or when I am at the expo and/or starting line for a race, I look to see if there is someone bigger than me. And I never sign up for a race without checking the previous year's results to see if someone finished after my anticipated finish time. I know it's horrible, but I am still very self-conscious when it comes to exercising around other people.
I don't think that is horrible. I think there are probably a lot of people who do similar things.
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It makes me sad that my daughter has no interest in learning to sew. It brings me such pleasure, I'd love to share it with her.Talking of 'girly' things, I'm right there with you. I really need a new sewing machine and I want this one with the fire of a thousand suns. It's stupid expensive, and doesn't have all the features I need, but it's sooooo pretty....
I still need to learn how to run the one I own!!! My mother sewed a lot and I never learned from her before she passed. That is something truly missed out on.
Honestly, I was not interested at the time, never thought I would use it. Now I wish I had asked and learned. Maybe see if she wants to make a quilt together with some of her old favorite things. It may spark an interest.
I've tried on many occasions to learn to sew and I just cannot manage. It's always like I'm trying to construct Buckingham palace, but I've only got Popsicle sticks and spit to work with.
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Interesting! So are you saying that you think he's actually gay but dating women, or that he just reminded you of your gay friend?pofoster21 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »
Chiming in here....your date is probably over already, hope it went well!
post date update:
met the dude at a tavern downtown. really super nice guy. had good conversation, were able to laugh and joke a lot, which is awesome. not creepy and not meh (woo!) lol
issues i'm currently trying to reconcile in my brain: (remember NO JUDGEMENT)
- if i hadn't met him on a dating website, where orientation is posted, i would NEVER believe this guy is straight. i texted my friend (who is gay) that i was on a date with his straight doppelganger. so many times through out the night in my head i was just like, omg this is frank, i'm on a date with straight frank. boisterous, animated, like that always turned on and ready to take the stage personality.
- very very talkative. which isn't terrible, but he'd ask me something and half way through my story, he'd being going off on a tangent on something else, and completely cut me off. so like, a 3 minute story would take me like 10 minutes as i'd have to reel him back off the tangent, pick up where i left off and keep going. and the random tangents were funny and he had tons of interesting things to talk about, but seriously talked way more than me. way, way more.
- he's about an inch taller than me, and has a much more slender build. i'm quite "thick," i have tree trunk thighs that aren't going anywhere. so it's kinda like oh, here's dude and his fat girlfriend. and maybe that's dumb of me to think, but i do.
he did say he had a really good time and would like to see me again. which i might do to see if maybe he was just nervous/excited on the "first" date?
I think you should definitely see him again, if only because you might make a great friend. Unless he talks too much!
Also, regarding physical differences, just to say that my parents are the same height, but for most of their marriage she's been probably a hundred pounds heavier than him. He's loved her and been attracted to her for 52 years, so try not to stress over that side of things.
@KylerJaye This. I actually asked Sergeant Sexy Pants recently what my most attractive feature was and he said 'First, that's a trap but I will answer you. It's a combination of factors largely to do with your personality.'
The greatest erogenous zone we have is our minds, remember that. Your brain and personality is really where the attraction is, your body is just the vessel it is all carried in. I have quickly found that when I am no longer attracted to someone mentally I find it difficult to have sex with them.
Take Elman for example. I went on a date with him. He was SUPER attractive. Looked like this guy:
Victor Webster for those interested.
We held hands, kissed and then I figured out he was dumber than a bag of hammers and suddenly, I was SO NOT attracted to him. I didn't want him touching me or kissing me, we parted with a hug when he clearly wanted more. It felt like everything he said became a sad and stupid attempt to get me in bed with him as he had little to no knowledge of the things he claimed to be passionate about. I fell for that once, never again.0 -
ETA: I "learned" to date in my 40's. I never "dated" like that before, I didn't know how to do it. It was so fun and cool (and scary) to discover so much about myself. I was always 100% myself and clear that I was looking for a good relationship. I did work hard on keeping good boundaries and only dating men who didn't raise red flags.
What are some red flags for people?
The one's I really looked for:
Very angry/resentful toward someone (i.e., ex, mother, sibling, etc.) even if deserved it should not come out in date #1 or #2.
Pushing for "cuddles" or anything else very quickly.
Not understanding what an appropriate level of activity for a first or second date would be (i.e. writing a song for me after one email exchange, planning a weekend away in another state for a second date.)
Not having an appropriate job for his age (i.e. I am in the middle age dating pool, I want to date someone not support him financially.)
What other red flags come to mind?
Not letting me do things for myself e.g. insisting on ordering something for me instead of letting me order what I want and other weird signs of dominance.
Talking about their ex repeatedly in anyway. Glowing terms can be just as bad as negative ones. My ex girlfriend was so good to me she'd drop everything to make me my favorite dinner and then she'd clean up the entire kitchen.
Treating staff where ever you go badly. I think you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat people who're waiting on them.
Calling too much (I had one guy literally calling me over 30 times in one day) or too little (if you haven't heard from them in a month they're not really interested).
I agree with these and the others listed earlier. Good stuff
I would also add
If you are a mom the guy wanting to be insta-dad. I vaguely mentioned my kids in my profile and more than one man in the first email offered to help raise them. No thank you.
The player who is almost seems like relationship material but fails. He comes so close and is charming and good looking and rich. And them you realize he's flakey as heck. And his almost commitments are insincere and then he tells you he's been divorced twice not just once and was with wife #2 while still with wife #1. And then you let him know no more. You will not be going out with him again.
No projects. He is not there to fix or improve you. You are not there to fix or improve him.
You have to like each other as people and be interested in who that person is. That means no projecting. One man kept trying to put words into my mouth about what I liked and what I did for fun.0 -
lilaclovebird wrote: »
Interesting! So are you saying that you think he's actually gay but dating women, or that he just reminded you of your gay friend?pofoster21 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »
Chiming in here....your date is probably over already, hope it went well!
post date update:
met the dude at a tavern downtown. really super nice guy. had good conversation, were able to laugh and joke a lot, which is awesome. not creepy and not meh (woo!) lol
issues i'm currently trying to reconcile in my brain: (remember NO JUDGEMENT)
- if i hadn't met him on a dating website, where orientation is posted, i would NEVER believe this guy is straight. i texted my friend (who is gay) that i was on a date with his straight doppelganger. so many times through out the night in my head i was just like, omg this is frank, i'm on a date with straight frank. boisterous, animated, like that always turned on and ready to take the stage personality.
- very very talkative. which isn't terrible, but he'd ask me something and half way through my story, he'd being going off on a tangent on something else, and completely cut me off. so like, a 3 minute story would take me like 10 minutes as i'd have to reel him back off the tangent, pick up where i left off and keep going. and the random tangents were funny and he had tons of interesting things to talk about, but seriously talked way more than me. way, way more.
- he's about an inch taller than me, and has a much more slender build. i'm quite "thick," i have tree trunk thighs that aren't going anywhere. so it's kinda like oh, here's dude and his fat girlfriend. and maybe that's dumb of me to think, but i do.
he did say he had a really good time and would like to see me again. which i might do to see if maybe he was just nervous/excited on the "first" date?
I think you should definitely see him again, if only because you might make a great friend. Unless he talks too much!
Also, regarding physical differences, just to say that my parents are the same height, but for most of their marriage she's been probably a hundred pounds heavier than him. He's loved her and been attracted to her for 52 years, so try not to stress over that side of things.
@KylerJaye This. I actually asked Sergeant Sexy Pants recently what my most attractive feature was and he said 'First, that's a trap but I will answer you. It's a combination of factors largely to do with your personality.'
The greatest erogenous zone we have is our minds, remember that. Your brain and personality is really where the attraction is, your body is just the vessel it is all carried in. I have quickly found that when I am no longer attracted to someone mentally I find it difficult to have sex with them.
Take Elman for example. I went on a date with him. He was SUPER attractive. Looked like this guy:
Victor Webster for those interested.
We held hands, kissed and then I figured out he was dumber than a bag of hammers and suddenly, I was SO NOT attracted to him. I didn't want him touching me or kissing me, we parted with a hug when he clearly wanted more. It felt like everything he said became a sad and stupid attempt to get me in bed with him as he had little to no knowledge of the things he claimed to be passionate about. I fell for that once, never again.
He is very attractive but I must have an educated and intelligent man. I want to learn things from him. I want a lively conversation.0 -
Yes, this was actually my first thought, because I had a positive experience with the three (3!) Mirenas I had. Our doctor wasn't keen to try that as a first attempt, because my daughter's young and had no children. However, I think the next time she has an appointment I'll go with her and press the point a little. Something has to happen.
I really hope those things help her. It's so hard, seeing them struggle, isn't it? Should that work straight away? I thought anti-depressants generally take a few weeks to kick in. Are anti-anxiety meds quicker?rungirl1973 wrote: »
Oh, so sorryrungirl1973 wrote: »Daughter went to the doctor this morning. If I wasn't there, she wouldn't have told them the whole story, so I went with. The anxiety, it's worse than I realized. Poor girl, she has anxiety over every social situation. I had no idea.
Anyhow, they are checking her thyroid, gave her a prescription, and she'll go back in 4 weeks to see how it's going.
My son went to the dentist. I know there are thousands of dollars of work that needs to be done on his teeth. The dentist sent him home with a "procedure plan" to review and plan for the next steps. Ugh. I guess I'll look at that when I get home. But, really, what am I going to do? He only has one set of teeth. They have to be taken care of, or he'll have dentures by age 25. Dang kid. What was the prescription for? The anxiety?
I could have written this. My daughter is really struggling too (19 yo - the one with anemia, which is not improving), and we had to spend $2000 on fillings for my son because he didn't brush properly when he had braces. Seriously, kid?
Yes, for anxiety. A previous doctor had tried a couple of things that didn't seem to help at all, so she's trying Pristiq and Klonopin temporarily for immediate relief.
My daughter has to have another blood test this week, which will test her iron but also her thyroid function. She was put on the seasonal pill to reduce her heavy periods, but she's had constant bleeding ever since she started taking in (6 weeks), so it seems counter-productive. I know these things take time to settle down, so I'm encouraging her to stick with it, but she's so exhausted and weepy all the time. It's having a huge impact on her life and I feel desperately sorry for her.
have the dr's thought about moving her to an IUD?
after about the first 6 months, my periods are barely a blip on the radar.
i used to have really heavy periods with debilitating cramps, but since the mirena, the difference has been amazing.
It's great that you found something that helped you! Bad periods suck
The Skyla is actually smaller than the Mirena and is designed for women who have NOT had any children. My doctor and I talked about it since I have never carried a child to term so my uterus isn't as 'stretched' but I decided to stick with my NuvaRing. The estrogen in it has helped my skin a LOT(I had bad acne) and the Skyla would mean my acne might come back.
I'm a shallow person...I know...0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »
YOU'RE BACK! Welcome! Any shrimp left for us? I love shrimp so much...
I'm telling you, I ate it all. I even had the exact same dinner 2 nights in a row. It was so delicious. I found out, however, shrimp gives me terrible (stinky stinky) gas. Mr. Mo was not impressed.
Or maybe he WAS! :laugh: Maybe he was impressed and a little upset that his farts could not stand up to your 'powerful winds' hahahaha!0 -
LOVE LOVE LOVE your ring @MoHousdon !! WAY TO GO MR. MO!
@MoHousdon +1 Most definitely an excellent ring. Tell Mr. Mo he did a FABULOUS job.
0 -
Thanks, everyone! It really is the most gorgeous piece of jewelry I own, that's for sure. I was bummed because it was supposed to come in a couple days before we left, but they never called...or so I thought.
I told Mr. Mo I was disappointed because I was hoping to have my ring before we left so I could show it to my brother (who we were lucky enough to get to see while down there). He said he was bummed too, but at least I'd have something to look forward to when we got home.
Unbeknownst to me, that little turd picked it up the Wednesday before we left, and snuck it in his carryon. On our anniversary, we decided to go to breakfast, then do some shopping on another key, then go seashell, and shark tooth hunting. While on the beach hunting, he got a little ahead of me lower on the beach looking for shells while I'm still working my way down the hill. He turns around and asks me, "So, what do you think of this little one?" In the palm of his hand was my ring. It was so cute and romantic. He told me every time I mentioned being bummed about not having my ring ahead of time, he laughed to himself. He's such a brat sometimes.
Gosh darn it! Where do @KylerJaye and I find one of these kinds of guys?!
0 -
ETA: I "learned" to date in my 40's. I never "dated" like that before, I didn't know how to do it. It was so fun and cool (and scary) to discover so much about myself. I was always 100% myself and clear that I was looking for a good relationship. I did work hard on keeping good boundaries and only dating men who didn't raise red flags.
What are some red flags for people?
The one's I really looked for:
Very angry/resentful toward someone (i.e., ex, mother, sibling, etc.) even if deserved it should not come out in date #1 or #2.
Pushing for "cuddles" or anything else very quickly.
Not understanding what an appropriate level of activity for a first or second date would be (i.e. writing a song for me after one email exchange, planning a weekend away in another state for a second date.)
Not having an appropriate job for his age (i.e. I am in the middle age dating pool, I want to date someone not support him financially.)
What other red flags come to mind?
Not letting me do things for myself e.g. insisting on ordering something for me instead of letting me order what I want and other weird signs of dominance.
Talking about their ex repeatedly in anyway. Glowing terms can be just as bad as negative ones. My ex girlfriend was so good to me she'd drop everything to make me my favorite dinner and then she'd clean up the entire kitchen.
Treating staff where ever you go badly. I think you can tell a lot about a person by how they treat people who're waiting on them.
Calling too much (I had one guy literally calling me over 30 times in one day) or too little (if you haven't heard from them in a month they're not really interested).
I agree with these and the others listed earlier. Good stuff
I would also add
If you are a mom the guy wanting to be insta-dad. I vaguely mentioned my kids in my profile and more than one man in the first email offered to help raise them. No thank you.
The player who is almost seems like relationship material but fails. He comes so close and is charming and good looking and rich. And them you realize he's flakey as heck. And his almost commitments are insincere and then he tells you he's been divorced twice not just once and was with wife #2 while still with wife #1. And then you let him know no more. You will not be going out with him again.
No projects. He is not there to fix or improve you. You are not there to fix or improve him.
You have to like each other as people and be interested in who that person is. That means no projecting. One man kept trying to put words into my mouth about what I liked and what I did for fun.
It's like a whole thread of Amy Young videos regarding dating and relationships.
Speaking of, I REALLY love her and I'm glad I found her YouTube channel before I got this new job and started pursuing another relationship. Her Mantra Mondays have saved me from myself more times than I care to admit.
And now I have Sgt. SP. I'm not sure is he's my forever guy yet (It's only been like 6 weeks). I think maybe a relationship is just two idiots who can admit that they don't know a darn thing except that they can handle figuring it out together.
But I'm still pretty young and I could be wrong. 0
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