Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

kecmw25 wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »

Well, now that I'm a little calmer, I think I can update everyone on Raelynn's situation. (( Cliff noting what the doctor said and it's a bit long. ))

-She has been officially and definitely diagnosed with SPD and Anxiety.

-The only treatment for her SPD and (at her age) Anxiety is occupational and behavioral therapy. Unfortunately, we can't afford the therapy, so that can't happen until we get approved for TEFRA (secondary Medicaid for special needs and insurance), but:

-She is being referred to ChildFind (services through the school district), but the county/district we live in is notoriously difficult for getting kids in. We'll have to see what they tell us.

-Doctor also gave us information on some community resources that may be available for us, just depends on if there is anything in Laurens County.

-She scored an 81 on the tests they did yesterday, which puts her right below "average" for her age and development, but the score for "average" runs between an 85-115 (low average-high average) so according to that she's just below which could mean she will be denied TEFRA. Doctor did tell me to be prepared to file an appeal should that happen and she will help us with it.

-She's been having issues with going to sleep for a while now, like fighting sleep and crying at bedtime, and waking up multiple times in a night so we have to start her on melatonin 2 hours before bedtime, because she's so wound up she can't go to sleep (SPD effect). We also have to start her on a fiber regimen, because she has a terrible habit of holding poops (major SPD problem).

-Basically, we have to keep her life as routine and rigid as possible. No potty training, no big changes, just making sure she knows what to expect every day so hopefully it will help alleviate some of her anxiety issues until we can get therapy going. (Needless to say, our plans of "expanding our family" are on hold until further notice since that would obviously be a huge change in her life. Which, if putting that on hold makes her life easier and we can help her, I'm okay with that.)

She's got a long way to go, but we're going to do everything that we can to help her!

This must be so difficult for you. Best if luck getting her the treatment she deserves. Remember the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Oh, yes to this. My cousin has a special needs child and she has had to learn to open her mouth and say something when she doesn't think he is getting the care he needs. I don't know about you but I'm completely non-confrontational so that part would be hard for me.

Susieq_1994 wrote: »

@pofoster21 I think you're crazy for doing an Ironman without training. Crazy and a little masochistic, perhaps. All the same, go out there and have a great time!

KylerJaye wrote: »

orangesmartie wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

orangesmartie wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

orangesmartie wrote: »

kellienw335 wrote: »

orangesmartie wrote: »

So, bad news: woke up feeling bleurgh today. Currently sitting in Krispy Kreme with a doughnut and a latte. Good news: I bought three, have eaten one, don't want the other two. Sucks to be me: on my way to work

How are things going with the boyfriend? You mentioned that it "imploded" and never went any further.

Its still broken. We called a truce over the weekend, due to travelling and climbing. But *shrug* we're talking, not sure whats going to happen

I am sorry. How is the girlfriend doing? You did advise that when one component is broken they all are. Because I am unbelievably nosy what is the issue. You kind of indicated it was minor but it seems to be escalating.

Beware, this is long - and remember you did ask!



To be honest, I am struggling with where I go from here. I love both of them very much, but he has totally devastated me with these things, after 3 years together.

Obviously this is a condensed version, but I don’t know what else to say.

I am so sorry. I confess I always wondered how a threesome could truly have an equal relationship, if you recall early on I said I didn't think I could handle it at all, I would always be insecure in that situation. But now that you are well into it and all of you love each other, I wonder if counseling for all of you would work? He sounds like he has a lot of issues period, which he needs to work on and which affect all 3 of you. Certainly spending the night at a Starbucks is not healthy for you. Read Susie's later post on taking care of yourself... you need to do that first and foremost. You will never be happy in this relationship if you are not happy with yourself. Then and only then can you make a relationship equitable and work...and you have 2/3 to make work which is incredibly difficult, I would imagine.

Hugs to you and feel free to message me anytime you need a sympathetic ear. Without much productive advice I an afraid. XOXOXOX

It can work, its just difficult. Triadic relationships such as ours are rare, because, its generally not easy to find two other people that you fall in love with, who also fall in love with each other.

I think when i say equal, i don't mean equal in terms of how much you love someone, but more, that you view the relationships as equally important. I love both my partners, but for different reasons. I have never tried to quantify it (i love Mrs more than Mr for example). I just know that i love them both, very much. I guess its the same as having more than one child. You generally love them for all their quirks and faults, and don't think i love X more than Y.

He does have issues and we are trying to support him in working on them, he let them slide when he started this new job and we're back to telling him it is essential. I have suggested group counselling, but trying to find a counsellor that can deal with our dynamic is tough.

Staying at starbucks wasn't my first choice, but all the hotels were full, so it seemed the safest option, well lit, toilets, drinks, CCTV. It wasn't like i was going to get a lot of sleep anyway. Next time, i'll book a hotel before storming out

The thing is, when we're all working and pulling in the same direction, our relationships are absolutely amazing, so easy and comfortable. we all get on so well, have such similar views on things and can spend hours having random conversations, about not very much. We've even designed our dream house (for when we win the lottery) to the extent of getting out a laptop and drawing floorplans in paint. We have been friends a very long time and i think perhaps what we have is more a difference in language X means Y to me, but him it means Z. I need to clarify this, and will be doing so this weekend. Equally, when things go wrong, they go spectacularly wrong.

I have to say, I really appreciate all of you letting me vent here, even though i'm sure most of you are horrified at the situation and i'm not making it look any better but it is helping me sort out my thoughts and feelings, without getting into that nasty internal negative spiral.

i am not horrified by any means.
i'm more concerned with your well being and want to make sure you're ok.
i admire you, actually. i know i have way too many personal issues (including jealousy) to even try to make that work.

xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »

kelly_c_77 wrote: »

So many things to comment on, I've lost track..
@orangesmartie, I support you and your relationship and find it very interesting to hear about. I totally rooting for you guys to all get on the same page! Hope it happens soon!
@LH85DC, take a break...relax and get back to it when you are ready!
I love roller coaster and amusement park rides...but I can't help but think about bad things happening almost the entire time I'm riding them...I'm a worry wart...but still love them!
You guys can be happy that you'll never have to hear me talk about my Blizzard situation again after this post because I got them both today...one brownie batter and one reeses pb cup...I ate them both...for lunch. I am 69 calories in the red but after my walk this afternoon and running around outside with my son, I will have earned enough calories for a light dinner. No regrets!

I know I'm forgetting to comment on other stuff...???

I'm so jealous sometimes of you guys that can eat ice cream! Man that sounds SO awesome!

orangesmartie wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

orangesmartie wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

orangesmartie wrote: »

kellienw335 wrote: »

orangesmartie wrote: »

So, bad news: woke up feeling bleurgh today. Currently sitting in Krispy Kreme with a doughnut and a latte. Good news: I bought three, have eaten one, don't want the other two. Sucks to be me: on my way to work

How are things going with the boyfriend? You mentioned that it "imploded" and never went any further.

Its still broken. We called a truce over the weekend, due to travelling and climbing. But *shrug* we're talking, not sure whats going to happen

I am sorry. How is the girlfriend doing? You did advise that when one component is broken they all are. Because I am unbelievably nosy what is the issue. You kind of indicated it was minor but it seems to be escalating.

Beware, this is long - and remember you did ask!



To be honest, I am struggling with where I go from here. I love both of them very much, but he has totally devastated me with these things, after 3 years together.

Obviously this is a condensed version, but I don’t know what else to say.

I am so sorry. I confess I always wondered how a threesome could truly have an equal relationship, if you recall early on I said I didn't think I could handle it at all, I would always be insecure in that situation. But now that you are well into it and all of you love each other, I wonder if counseling for all of you would work? He sounds like he has a lot of issues period, which he needs to work on and which affect all 3 of you. Certainly spending the night at a Starbucks is not healthy for you. Read Susie's later post on taking care of yourself... you need to do that first and foremost. You will never be happy in this relationship if you are not happy with yourself. Then and only then can you make a relationship equitable and work...and you have 2/3 to make work which is incredibly difficult, I would imagine.

Hugs to you and feel free to message me anytime you need a sympathetic ear. Without much productive advice I an afraid. XOXOXOX

It can work, its just difficult. Triadic relationships such as ours are rare, because, its generally not easy to find two other people that you fall in love with, who also fall in love with each other.

I think when i say equal, i don't mean equal in terms of how much you love someone, but more, that you view the relationships as equally important. I love both my partners, but for different reasons. I have never tried to quantify it (i love Mrs more than Mr for example). I just know that i love them both, very much. I guess its the same as having more than one child. You generally love them for all their quirks and faults, and don't think i love X more than Y.

He does have issues and we are trying to support him in working on them, he let them slide when he started this new job and we're back to telling him it is essential. I have suggested group counselling, but trying to find a counsellor that can deal with our dynamic is tough.

Staying at starbucks wasn't my first choice, but all the hotels were full, so it seemed the safest option, well lit, toilets, drinks, CCTV. It wasn't like i was going to get a lot of sleep anyway. Next time, i'll book a hotel before storming out

The thing is, when we're all working and pulling in the same direction, our relationships are absolutely amazing, so easy and comfortable. we all get on so well, have such similar views on things and can spend hours having random conversations, about not very much. We've even designed our dream house (for when we win the lottery) to the extent of getting out a laptop and drawing floorplans in paint. We have been friends a very long time and i think perhaps what we have is more a difference in language X means Y to me, but him it means Z. I need to clarify this, and will be doing so this weekend. Equally, when things go wrong, they go spectacularly wrong.

I have to say, I really appreciate all of you letting me vent here, even though i'm sure most of you are horrified at the situation and i'm not making it look any better but it is helping me sort out my thoughts and feelings, without getting into that nasty internal negative spiral.

orangesmartie wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

orangesmartie wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

orangesmartie wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

orangesmartie wrote: »

girldownsouth wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

quiksylver296 wrote: »

rungirl1973 wrote: »

kelly_c_77 wrote: »

So, I posted this as my status, but I thought I'd share it here too...

Well, I turned a negative into a positive and took advantage of my extra awake time. I hopped on the treadmill with plans to just do my regular speed walk/trot/run. But after the first few minutes, I felt pretty good(even with almost 4 extra pounds of water weight from yesterday's horrible eating) so I decided to set a goal and go for it. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!! I ran my first ever half marathon! I had to stop once for a bathroom break...but otherwise, never stopped. The longest I've ever run without stopping previously was 11ish miles. So, YAY!!
And my other goal that I had posted in the Batcave the other day was to beat my highest step count which was 37,659. I should be able to crush it today because as of 6:48am, I am at 25,843.

quiksylver296 wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

quiksylver296 wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

quiksylver296 wrote: »

Fourth of July BBQ - I am taking steaks, watermelon, corn on the cob, vinegar cucumbers (my son's favorite), and cherry cheesecake. Mostly healthy, right? I'm blaming the cheesecake on you guys!!!

Can I have some cheesecake!!!???

Sure, come on over!!! Idaho isn't far, right?!?

ETA: it's just the Jello kind, which I confess is my favorite. Unsophisticated palate right here! LOL

There is a big tri in Idaho. Maybe I'll add it to my list of races to do if you'll make cheese cake! As long as its not the ricotta cheese kind I am happy!

Which tri? Where? I'm outside of Boise by about 40 minutes. And no ricotta in my cheesecake.

My Coworker went last week to the iron man in Couer d'Alene, Idaho. Apparently people like to go there because it's generally pretty cool, but this year was record high temps.

Couer d'Alene is gorgeous, but nowhere near me.

Same state. I can still stop by for cheesecake. I'll let you know when I sign up! Right now I have a 1/2 Ironman in Indiana, an Ironman in WI this year, 4 races to do in FL in Jan, a marathon in TN in April and a mountain to climb in England in July next year...so may need to wait until 2017.

If you're climbing @orangesmartie 's mountain, it's in Scotland. Never confuse England and Scotland in front of a Scot, it won't go down well!

It sure doesn't!! I'm a score hen and bred and I hate being called English (even though I now have an English accent, which I hate....)

Seriously you are Scottish? This is getting better and better. I am 100% Irish BTW.

Yes i am, born and raised in the border town of Hawick, which no one has every heard of, unless they like rugby

Nope, never heard of it. But maybe we can swing by before or after climbing our mountain and check it out!

We sure can. my family are all there, so i won't be able to escape with stopping by. On the plus side, there is a cafe there that does uh-MAZE-ing cherry cheesecake. Everytime we go up, we pre-order two massive ones to bring home and freeze.

Ooh I forgot about those! Have you broken into them yet? From last weekend!

Yes, i portioned them all up when we got home and froze all but three slices, which we ate on Tuesday night.

kecmw25 wrote: »

KylerJaye wrote: »

berlynnwall wrote: »

ythannah wrote: »

nonoelmo wrote: »

nonoelmo wrote: »

ETA: I "learned" to date in my 40's. I never "dated" like that before, I didn't know how to do it. It was so fun and cool (and scary) to discover so much about myself. I was always 100% myself and clear that I was looking for a good relationship. I did work hard on keeping good boundaries and only dating men who didn't raise red flags.

What are some red flags for people?
The one's I really looked for:

Very angry/resentful toward someone (i.e., ex, mother, sibling, etc.) even if deserved it should not come out in date #1 or #2.

Pushing for "cuddles" or anything else very quickly.

Not understanding what an appropriate level of activity for a first or second date would be (i.e. writing a song for me after one email exchange, planning a weekend away in another state for a second date.)

Not having an appropriate job for his age (i.e. I am in the middle age dating pool, I want to date someone not support him financially.)

What other red flags come to mind?

For me, a big one would be either consuming too much alcohol in my presence or having way too many "funny" stories about stupid things done while drunk.

And indications of financial irresponsibility (also middle aged here). Like I dated one guy who told me he'd once had his water turned off because he hadn't been able to pay his bill.

Oh gosh, yes. When I was a young single mom starting to date again, one guy kept me on the phone for 40 minutes telling me all about how he beat up some guy at a bar while drinking because that guy disrespected him. He acted like I was supposed to be impressed, but I was seriously turned off by that. I had a young child, I didn't want to date some guy who flies off the handle randomly in public.

yeah that would be really scary, i think, because how would you know what his drunken face considered "disrepectful?"

my drunken "funny" stories usually have something to do with me walking plankton to the gas station, making friends with an elderly woman that won a bunch of money on a scratch off and getting her to "sign the back! sign the back!" so no one could use the ticket but her. or making friends with another woman who MUST show me all the pics of her dogs on her phone. or walking plankton to the grocery store for crackers and coming out with four different type of oreos.

i think plankton is a bad influence.

That darn Plankton!! Funny stuff

ShibaEars wrote: »

kellienw335 wrote: »

orangesmartie wrote: »

I have to say, I really appreciate all of you letting me vent here, even though i'm sure most of you are horrified at the situation and i'm not making it look any better but it is helping me sort out my thoughts and feelings, without getting into that nasty internal negative spiral.

Not horrified! I actually find relationships with multiples, including polygamy, fascinating. It's not for me, but I've researched it quite a bit. The fact that I feel like I kind of know you and really want you guys to be able to work this out and be happy adds a whole new level to my education on the subject. I hope that isn't somehow offensive or insensitive. I'm team Mr Mrs & Ms Orangesmartie all the way!

I agree. While I know it's not for me, I do love to hear about how others live. I appreciate you being so honest and open @orangesmartie without getting defensive about all of our questions!

berlynnwall wrote: »

FluffySandwich wrote: »

FroggyBug wrote: »

FluffySandwich wrote: »

I'm almost done with Survivor 29 and I am really upset by the final three. One of them I like ok (and I think for sure is going to win), the other two I never really liked... and the person I wanted to win got voted out in fourth place. ARGH. Hate it when that happens.

On another note, I keep hearing some weird sound coming from my kitchen and I'm not sure what it could be. I told my boyfriend our apartment must be haunted or something. It almost sounds like some water is splashing on the floor violently, but I can't find anything wrong. We recently had an ant infestation so maybe a big ant is making noise in our wall as revenge for our ant murder.

Creepy. I hope you can figure out what it is. If you do, let us know.

Back in about 2009 or 2010, we had a few months were my whole family was experiencing weird things (in different locations) that I've never been able to explain to this day. It was really weird... I felt like we were all haunted for a while too.

I feel like I MIGHT be able to get some idea of an exact location if I always stand in the kitchen on the lookout, but sometimes these sounds are hours apart. Still going on today and they didn't happen before we went to Punta Cana. My boyfriend keeps saying that there might be a rat in the wall or something and I hope that's not the case.

spamarie wrote: »

FluffySandwich wrote: »

Congrats @bkhamill !!!

I confess that I am only 21 years old and don't think I'm ready to have a baby by any means, but sometimes I have dreams that I am very pregnant or have an infant and wake up feeling strangely empty, confused, and sad. Any one else do this? Or did this?

I used to have those all the time in my early 20s. Now I actually am pregnant, my dreams have been completely devoid of anything baby-related. Funny how the brain works. I did dream my mattress was made of cheese the other night. I had to lie really still and evenly to avoid crumbling it!

I heard that your dreams get extra crazy when you're pregnant. I love dreams and keep a dream diary on my computer. Last night I dreamed that I had something stuck in my teeth... and I finally managed to pull it out- a long string of spaghetti. Then more and more kept coming, so it turns out I had like 20 strings of spaghetti stuck in that spot between my teeth. It was kind of freaky for some reason.

For me, that was absolutely true. My dreams were much more vivid, and weird as all get out. Has anyone read Anne Rice's witch series? Before I found out I was pregnant with my son, I had a dream that I gave birth to a fully grown man (like in those books). Seriously creepy.

crosbylee wrote: »

raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »

Susieq_1994 wrote: »

MoHousdon wrote: »

m1xm0d3 wrote: »

AngryViking1970 wrote: »

What's with all the sweet pickle hate? I love ALL the pickles. More for me, tra la la!

I am in this camp. I like dill, bread & butter, sweet gherkin and all relish.

Me too!

Can someone tell me what in the world bread and butter pickles are? :-/ They sound so weird... Does anyone actually put pickles on bread and butter?!

It's like dill or sour pickles, but it's a sweet brine as opposed to a sour one. My parents love them, I'm not that excited about them. And for the life of me, do NOT get me started on those "koolicles" or whatever they're called! Pickles and kool aid have NO business being together

Sorry, I am a few pages back. When my son played little league football, the kids went nuts over 'picklesicles'. We literally froze the leftover pickle juice in small containers (jello shot) and sold them. Nothing added.