Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
Options
Replies
-
kelly_c_77 wrote: »spacequiztime wrote: »I've never been a fan of pickles. I can't imagine them fried.
Blasphemy! However, to be helpful I will have all your dill pickles. The sweet pickles can go die in a fire though.
Uhhhh....NO! Dill pickles are fine...and I love fried pickles. But I seriously LOVE sweet pickles!!! I put 3 in my salad every day for lunch and again for dinner. For my salad dressing, I also use the sweet pickle juice instead of vinegar when I'm at the end of the jar (I usually use vinegar, Mrs. Dash Garlic and Herb seasoning, and a bit of hot sauce). I have also just recently started putting sweet pickle relish over my salads as a yummy topping! Sweet pickles all day long, forever.
Okay! I amend my previous statement to sweet pickles can go die in the acid bath of your tummy.
You can have all of them.lilaclovebird wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »spacequiztime wrote: »I've never been a fan of pickles. I can't imagine them fried.
Blasphemy! However, to be helpful I will have all your dill pickles. The sweet pickles can go die in a fire though.
Uhhhh....NO! Dill pickles are fine...and I love fried pickles. But I seriously LOVE sweet pickles!!! I put 3 in my salad every day for lunch and again for dinner. For my salad dressing, I also use the sweet pickle juice instead of vinegar when I'm at the end of the jar (I usually use vinegar, Mrs. Dash Garlic and Herb seasoning, and a bit of hot sauce). I have also just recently started putting sweet pickle relish over my salads as a yummy topping! Sweet pickles all day long, forever.
Okay! I amend my previous statement to sweet pickles can go die in the acid bath of your tummy.You can have all of them.
Every single one. Because I don't like the sweet one's either. And sweet relish can be thrown in a volcano and sacrificed to the dill relish god!
Send them all to me...I'll message you both my address! 0 -
lilaclovebird wrote: »
Interesting! So are you saying that you think he's actually gay but dating women, or that he just reminded you of your gay friend?pofoster21 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »
Chiming in here....your date is probably over already, hope it went well!
post date update:
met the dude at a tavern downtown. really super nice guy. had good conversation, were able to laugh and joke a lot, which is awesome. not creepy and not meh (woo!) lol
issues i'm currently trying to reconcile in my brain: (remember NO JUDGEMENT)
- if i hadn't met him on a dating website, where orientation is posted, i would NEVER believe this guy is straight. i texted my friend (who is gay) that i was on a date with his straight doppelganger. so many times through out the night in my head i was just like, omg this is frank, i'm on a date with straight frank. boisterous, animated, like that always turned on and ready to take the stage personality.
- very very talkative. which isn't terrible, but he'd ask me something and half way through my story, he'd being going off on a tangent on something else, and completely cut me off. so like, a 3 minute story would take me like 10 minutes as i'd have to reel him back off the tangent, pick up where i left off and keep going. and the random tangents were funny and he had tons of interesting things to talk about, but seriously talked way more than me. way, way more.
- he's about an inch taller than me, and has a much more slender build. i'm quite "thick," i have tree trunk thighs that aren't going anywhere. so it's kinda like oh, here's dude and his fat girlfriend. and maybe that's dumb of me to think, but i do.
he did say he had a really good time and would like to see me again. which i might do to see if maybe he was just nervous/excited on the "first" date?
I think you should definitely see him again, if only because you might make a great friend. Unless he talks too much!
Also, regarding physical differences, just to say that my parents are the same height, but for most of their marriage she's been probably a hundred pounds heavier than him. He's loved her and been attracted to her for 52 years, so try not to stress over that side of things.
@KylerJaye This. I actually asked Sergeant Sexy Pants recently what my most attractive feature was and he said 'First, that's a trap but I will answer you. It's a combination of factors largely to do with your personality.'
The greatest erogenous zone we have is our minds, remember that. Your brain and personality is really where the attraction is, your body is just the vessel it is all carried in. I have quickly found that when I am no longer attracted to someone mentally I find it difficult to have sex with them.
Take Elman for example. I went on a date with him. He was SUPER attractive. Looked like this guy:
Victor Webster for those interested.
We held hands, kissed and then I figured out he was dumber than a bag of hammers and suddenly, I was SO NOT attracted to him. I didn't want him touching me or kissing me, we parted with a hug when he clearly wanted more. It felt like everything he said became a sad and stupid attempt to get me in bed with him as he had little to no knowledge of the things he claimed to be passionate about. I fell for that once, never again.
He is very attractive but I must have an educated and intelligent man. I want to learn things from him. I want a lively conversation.
Intelligent is the biggest draw to me too. During university I dated a guy who worked in the warehouse where my parents worked as some kind of rebellion. He was divorced with kids at 23, had the worst teeth and just came out with so much total nonsense. I didn't rebel for long!0 -
girldownsouth wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »
Interesting! So are you saying that you think he's actually gay but dating women, or that he just reminded you of your gay friend?pofoster21 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »
Chiming in here....your date is probably over already, hope it went well!
post date update:
met the dude at a tavern downtown. really super nice guy. had good conversation, were able to laugh and joke a lot, which is awesome. not creepy and not meh (woo!) lol
issues i'm currently trying to reconcile in my brain: (remember NO JUDGEMENT)
- if i hadn't met him on a dating website, where orientation is posted, i would NEVER believe this guy is straight. i texted my friend (who is gay) that i was on a date with his straight doppelganger. so many times through out the night in my head i was just like, omg this is frank, i'm on a date with straight frank. boisterous, animated, like that always turned on and ready to take the stage personality.
- very very talkative. which isn't terrible, but he'd ask me something and half way through my story, he'd being going off on a tangent on something else, and completely cut me off. so like, a 3 minute story would take me like 10 minutes as i'd have to reel him back off the tangent, pick up where i left off and keep going. and the random tangents were funny and he had tons of interesting things to talk about, but seriously talked way more than me. way, way more.
- he's about an inch taller than me, and has a much more slender build. i'm quite "thick," i have tree trunk thighs that aren't going anywhere. so it's kinda like oh, here's dude and his fat girlfriend. and maybe that's dumb of me to think, but i do.
he did say he had a really good time and would like to see me again. which i might do to see if maybe he was just nervous/excited on the "first" date?
I think you should definitely see him again, if only because you might make a great friend. Unless he talks too much!
Also, regarding physical differences, just to say that my parents are the same height, but for most of their marriage she's been probably a hundred pounds heavier than him. He's loved her and been attracted to her for 52 years, so try not to stress over that side of things.
@KylerJaye This. I actually asked Sergeant Sexy Pants recently what my most attractive feature was and he said 'First, that's a trap but I will answer you. It's a combination of factors largely to do with your personality.'
The greatest erogenous zone we have is our minds, remember that. Your brain and personality is really where the attraction is, your body is just the vessel it is all carried in. I have quickly found that when I am no longer attracted to someone mentally I find it difficult to have sex with them.
Take Elman for example. I went on a date with him. He was SUPER attractive. Looked like this guy:
Victor Webster for those interested.
We held hands, kissed and then I figured out he was dumber than a bag of hammers and suddenly, I was SO NOT attracted to him. I didn't want him touching me or kissing me, we parted with a hug when he clearly wanted more. It felt like everything he said became a sad and stupid attempt to get me in bed with him as he had little to no knowledge of the things he claimed to be passionate about. I fell for that once, never again.
He is very attractive but I must have an educated and intelligent man. I want to learn things from him. I want a lively conversation.
Intelligent is the biggest draw to me too. During university I dated a guy who worked in the warehouse where my parents worked as some kind of rebellion. He was divorced with kids at 23, had the worst teeth and just came out with so much total nonsense. I didn't rebel for long!
So a word to men out there: Be intelligent/passionate about something but also be capable of keeping your mind open to new ideas or concepts about your passions. Also, be able to read women's minds and shower us with gifts from time to time. Even little ones, like Funyuns.
Let's just use a scene from my favorite T.V. show Firefly:
Inara Serra: A companion chooses her own clients. That's guild law. But physical appearance doesn't matter so terribly. You look for a compatibility of spirit... There's an energy about a person that's difficult to hide. You try to feel that...
Mal: [walks in] And then you try to feel the energy of their credit account. It has a sort of aura...
Inara Serra: What did I say to you about barging in to my shuttle?
Mal: That it was manly and impulsive?
Inara Serra: Yes, precisely. Only the exact phrase I used was "don't."0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »So, bad news: woke up feeling bleurgh today. Currently sitting in Krispy Kreme with a doughnut and a latte. Good news: I bought three, have eaten one, don't want the other two. Sucks to be me: on my way to work
How are things going with the boyfriend? You mentioned that it "imploded" and never went any further.
Its still broken. We called a truce over the weekend, due to travelling and climbing. But *shrug* we're talking, not sure whats going to happen
I am sorry. How is the girlfriend doing? You did advise that when one component is broken they all are. Because I am unbelievably nosy what is the issue. You kind of indicated it was minor but it seems to be escalating.
Beware, this is long - and remember you did ask!
She is devastated and fearing the worst. She had a major meltdown on saturday morning. All of this stress and angst contributed to me not being able to finish the mountain - I didn't have the mental/emotional reserves needed. I also hadn't slept or eaten properly since Wednesday.
My issue was that I felt he (Mr Smartie?) was behaving badly towards me, withdrawing from me, barely speaking, wouldn’t touch/hug me. All of the small things. He was coming home from work, picking up his laptop and staring at the screen for the next 5 hours or so, and completely ignoring us both, not contributing to household chores etc. There was not however, a complete withdrawal from girlfriend (Mrs Smartie?), but highlighted a difference in behaviour towards us. Which lead me into a dark spiral (off medication) that he didn’t want me, didn’t love me, thought I was grossly fat and ugly, blah blah blah. Going back on medication got most of that spiral under control. But there was still his behaviour to address. So this had been going on about 5 weeks.
Mr Smartie is ex-Army. Seen combat in some of the worst places in the world and been involved in missions most civilians have never even heard of. He has PTSD. It’s a big issue. We (Mrs Smartie and I) had previously told him it was becoming an issue too big for us to manage (after she and I went to my grandad’s funeral in Scotland, and when he couldn’t get hold of her, he phoned the police and drove 400 miles to find her….), that we feared for his safety, and we turned to a veterans’ charity for support. He eventually recognised some (this was a big step forward) of the issues. Undertook counselling and started medication. He changed jobs in April this year, which meant he could no longer attend counselling….
Mr Smartie and I’s relationship is not as well developed as the other three, so this is something we were supposed to be working on. He was/is adamant that he wants a relationship with me and will work to nurture it. However, it seems to fall by the wayside after about 6 weeks.
However, I asked him to go out for coffee with me on Wednesday, so we could talk about what the problem between us was. It started with 40 minutes of him telling what the problem between him and Mrs Smartie was. We’ve been round this cycle so many times before. It boils down to his insecurities and his blackness with her. I told him there was little point speaking to me, he needed to speak to her and resolve that issue and only then could we work on ours. Long story short: we went back to the house, so we could all talk. Mrs Smartie was very angry that once again he’s made an issue between him and I all about her (this is a recurring theme). I left the house, intending to get a hotel, but they were all full, so I spent Wednesday night in the Starbucks of our local motorway services. Mrs Smartie came to find me about 3am and we talked.
I went back to the house after work on Thursday for more talking. By that point I had decided I was going to drive to Scotland alone, and do the climb on my own. He said if that was the case, he wasn’t going. So to keep the peace, I agreed to travel/climb with him. (A mistake, in hindsight).
Essentially what I have discovered from him is :
• He does not view all the relationships as equal
• He views me as an ‘addition’ (he says rather than an ‘instead of’ – but that’s his logic, he appears to have a monogamous mindset on this)
• He is envious of the relationship between Mrs Smartie and I, because he thinks she doesn’t feel the same about him (and doesn’t appear to care how I feel…)
• He is completely oblivious to how he treats me and thinks we have a good relationship
• He says the relationships are hierarchical and always will be
• Their relationship is more important, because they are married.
Mrs Smartie and I have the same perspective on the relationships. The relationship between the three of us is most important. Each of the couples’ relationships sit under that, and each is as important as any other. She has noted how he has been treating me over the last few weeks, and has even pulled him on it.
To be honest, I am struggling with where I go from here. I love both of them very much, but he has totally devastated me with these things, after 3 years together.
Obviously this is a condensed version, but I don’t know what else to say.
0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »So, I posted this as my status, but I thought I'd share it here too...
Well, I turned a negative into a positive and took advantage of my extra awake time. I hopped on the treadmill with plans to just do my regular speed walk/trot/run. But after the first few minutes, I felt pretty good(even with almost 4 extra pounds of water weight from yesterday's horrible eating) so I decided to set a goal and go for it. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!! I ran my first ever half marathon! I had to stop once for a bathroom break...but otherwise, never stopped. The longest I've ever run without stopping previously was 11ish miles. So, YAY!!
And my other goal that I had posted in the Batcave the other day was to beat my highest step count which was 37,659. I should be able to crush it today because as of 6:48am, I am at 25,843.
quiksylver296 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »Fourth of July BBQ - I am taking steaks, watermelon, corn on the cob, vinegar cucumbers (my son's favorite), and cherry cheesecake. Mostly healthy, right? I'm blaming the cheesecake on you guys!!!
Can I have some cheesecake!!!???
Sure, come on over!!! Idaho isn't far, right?!?
ETA: it's just the Jello kind, which I confess is my favorite. Unsophisticated palate right here! LOL
There is a big tri in Idaho. Maybe I'll add it to my list of races to do if you'll make cheese cake! As long as its not the ricotta cheese kind I am happy!
Which tri? Where? I'm outside of Boise by about 40 minutes. And no ricotta in my cheesecake.
My Coworker went last week to the iron man in Couer d'Alene, Idaho. Apparently people like to go there because it's generally pretty cool, but this year was record high temps.
Couer d'Alene is gorgeous, but nowhere near me.
Same state. I can still stop by for cheesecake. I'll let you know when I sign up! Right now I have a 1/2 Ironman in Indiana, an Ironman in WI this year, 4 races to do in FL in Jan, a marathon in TN in April and a mountain to climb in England in July next year...so may need to wait until 2017.
If you're climbing @orangesmartie 's mountain, it's in Scotland. Never confuse England and Scotland in front of a Scot, it won't go down well!
It sure doesn't!! I'm a score hen and bred and I hate being called English (even though I now have an English accent, which I hate....)
Seriously you are Scottish? This is getting better and better. I am 100% Irish BTW.
Yes i am, born and raised in the border town of Hawick, which no one has every heard of, unless they like rugby
0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »riderfangal wrote: »I am in such a bad mood today. My daughter had a complete meltdown last night & of course, I didn't handle it well. She didn't want to go to bed, wouldn't let me brush her teeth, was hitting and kicking me when I was trying to change her into her pjs so I told her she could sleep in her diaper and slammed the door to her room. She screamed!!! I waited until she calmed down and went in her room, hugged her, told her I loved her and was sorry I lost my temper. Then I told her she should say she was sorry to me too. She did and we finished her bedtime routine then but I feel just awful. I get teary just thinking about it. I was almost late for work today and people have been in and out of the office all day. It's hard to act nice when I just want to cry...or sleep. I'll take either right now.
On the plus side, since I visited the fitbit thread and added so many new friends yesterday (thanks for all the adds!) I am motivated to get moving more today and am about to set out on my 2nd mini walk of the work day.
Those nights are tough on everybody but you are not alone. Tonight will be better!! I once dumped a glass of milk over my son's head when he wouldn't stop misbehaving at the table. I can't believe I admitted that. I can chuckle about it now but at the time I thought I was the most horrible mom in the world.
I would refuse to eat certain foods as a kid. My father would not allow me to leave the table. After 2 or 3 hours my mother would come in and BEG me to eat. Nope. No way. To this day I won't eat the exact same foods.
My dad used to do the same. I remember it being really late at night and I was still staring at the Brussels sprouts on my plate. I ended up cutting them in quarters and swallowing them like pills.
I was a very stubborn child.0 -
@orangesmartie I'm sorry to hear about your relationships I really am pulling for you and hope things work out the way you would like. Thank you for sharing your story though I know it can't be easy for you right now, keep your head up though -you are amazing and deserve another partner like Mrs Smartie who recognizes your super greatness! 0
-
@orangesmartie I'm sorry to hear about your relationships I really am pulling for you and hope things work out the way you would like. Thank you for sharing your story though I know it can't be easy for you right now, keep your head up though -you are amazing and deserve another partner like Mrs Smartie who recognizes your super greatness!
I really didn't know what to say but I like this so I'm parking my +1 right here.
And sending you a hug.0 -
@orangesmartie I'm sorry to hear about your relationships I really am pulling for you and hope things work out the way you would like. Thank you for sharing your story though I know it can't be easy for you right now, keep your head up though -you are amazing and deserve another partner like Mrs Smartie who recognizes your super greatness!
+1 because you are indeed, Super Great!
ETA: Second photo NOT appropriate for @Susieq_1994 COVER YOUR EYES!
0 -
Hi everyone... Just want to drop a note to let you all know I'm alive. I apologize for not replying to all the kind messages that were sent to me, but each one made me smile and was very much appreciated.
I've been MIA because FND is both mentally and physically exhausting; just getting to the bathroom is like running a marathon at midnight on a mountain with no sleep. By the time I can get myself back to the computer, I just can't muster the mental energy to be social or type out replies to anything, although I have seen tons of posts that I really wanted to reply to.
Thank you all for thinking of me! My flare-up is doing its worst on me. I can't walk, stand, get to the bathroom, or get into bed by myself. I can't even use my walker. Everything is just exhausting.
On a positive note, the Oman Disabled Association may be providing me with a "sport" wheelchair. After looking into available wheelchairs here in Saudi, my husband and I determined that they were too wide to be any use in our tiny apartment. A friend of my mother's who is wheelchair-bound informed us that there is a narrower and more compact one for small apartment dwellers, and also that I'm entitled to have one provided by the Omani government through the Disabled Association. So there might be some good from that.
Hugs to all--I wish I could reply to every individual post, but I just can't at this point. You're all in my thoughts.
P.S. - I was a gross little girl , too.0 -
I'm a little late on the child thing but I was a clean child. I just hated having my hair brushed. From about 5 years old until 13 or so I had short hair to the endless disappointment of my dad. I used to get mats in my hair because I wouldn't let anyone brush it. My first short cut - the mushroom.
0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Hi everyone... Just want to drop a note to let you all know I'm alive. I apologize for not replying to all the kind messages that were sent to me, but each one made me smile and was very much appreciated.
I've been MIA because FND is both mentally and physically exhausting; just getting to the bathroom is like running a marathon at midnight on a mountain with no sleep. By the time I can get myself back to the computer, I just can't muster the mental energy to be social or type out replies to anything, although I have seen tons of posts that I really wanted to reply to.
Thank you all for thinking of me! My flare-up is doing its worst on me. I can't walk, stand, get to the bathroom, or get into bed by myself. I can't even use my walker. Everything is just exhausting.
On a positive note, the Oman Disabled Association may be providing me with a "sport" wheelchair. After looking into available wheelchairs here in Saudi, my husband and I determined that they were too wide to be any use in our tiny apartment. A friend of my mother's who is wheelchair-bound informed us that there is a narrower and more compact one for small apartment dwellers, and also that I'm entitled to have one provided by the Omani government through the Disabled Association. So there might be some good from that.
Hugs to all--I wish I could reply to every individual post, but I just can't at this point. You're all in my thoughts.
P.S. - I was a gross little girl , too.
YAY @Susieq_1994! We figured and hoped you were resting as much as possible so you could get better. We're all sending you hugs right back and positive vibes.
BTW I was a messy and dirty little girl. I still like rolling in mud and getting sweaty. My grandmother, however, took great pains to remind me that I was a little girl. Evidence:
0 -
kelly_c_77 wrote: »WestCoastJo82 wrote: »Well, this is totally not a real problem, but pity party commenced. (Warning this is rather lame and I really just need to be told suck it up buttercup).
I hate how bothered I am by numbers on the scale. I'm recomping currently - which should not include weight gain as I am not attempting to bulk - but I've been over the top number I would like to be at for a couple of weeks now. I know it's probably just DOMS as Stronglifts is kicking my butt and my clothes fit the same if not better, but it really gets to me and I'm considering reducing calories even though I know its a bad idea for recomp progress but I'm letting the scale rule me.
I don't like how I let the scale rule me in general. On one hand it's good - even though I was using hair ties to extend the buttons on my pants instead of buying a bigger size - it wasn't until I saw 150 on the scale, which meant 25 BMI and officially over weight that I decided to do something about it. It's also great because I don't have to track food, make sure I stay in my 5 pound range and all's well. But then I have days like today and want to throw a giant pity party because the scale says a number I don't like which is actually not a real problem and I need to suck it up.
Pity party over. Sorry it's a lame pity party.
It's not lame at all. I admit the scale rules my life too...not that I want to..but it does. It can ruin my day...even when I know it's just water weight from the day before.
LOL I used to be like that and I still weigh a few times a week but now if it's < then I am YAAAY! If it's > then I am like WHATEVER *flips bird* Haha.
Ha ha I have on many occasions sworn at my scales. mostly the B word (Both B words) and once the C word when I was really angry.0 -
kelly_c_77 wrote: »WestCoastJo82 wrote: »Well, this is totally not a real problem, but pity party commenced. (Warning this is rather lame and I really just need to be told suck it up buttercup).
I hate how bothered I am by numbers on the scale. I'm recomping currently - which should not include weight gain as I am not attempting to bulk - but I've been over the top number I would like to be at for a couple of weeks now. I know it's probably just DOMS as Stronglifts is kicking my butt and my clothes fit the same if not better, but it really gets to me and I'm considering reducing calories even though I know its a bad idea for recomp progress but I'm letting the scale rule me.
I don't like how I let the scale rule me in general. On one hand it's good - even though I was using hair ties to extend the buttons on my pants instead of buying a bigger size - it wasn't until I saw 150 on the scale, which meant 25 BMI and officially over weight that I decided to do something about it. It's also great because I don't have to track food, make sure I stay in my 5 pound range and all's well. But then I have days like today and want to throw a giant pity party because the scale says a number I don't like which is actually not a real problem and I need to suck it up.
Pity party over. Sorry it's a lame pity party.
It's not lame at all. I admit the scale rules my life too...not that I want to..but it does. It can ruin my day...even when I know it's just water weight from the day before.
LOL I used to be like that and I still weigh a few times a week but now if it's < then I am YAAAY! If it's > then I am like WHATEVER *flips bird* Haha.
Ha ha I have on many occasions sworn at my scales. mostly the B word (Both B words) and once the C word when I was really angry.
I just look at it and say "Nobody likes you" and kick it under the chair in the kitchen.
0 -
@Susieq_1994 glad to hear from you!
And yay for qualifying for a wheelchair to assist you when your flare ups are bad.0 -
Haha @lilaclovebird you were such a cute little girl!!0
-
Susieq_1994 wrote: »Hi everyone... Just want to drop a note to let you all know I'm alive. I apologize for not replying to all the kind messages that were sent to me, but each one made me smile and was very much appreciated.
I've been MIA because FND is both mentally and physically exhausting; just getting to the bathroom is like running a marathon at midnight on a mountain with no sleep. By the time I can get myself back to the computer, I just can't muster the mental energy to be social or type out replies to anything, although I have seen tons of posts that I really wanted to reply to.
Thank you all for thinking of me! My flare-up is doing its worst on me. I can't walk, stand, get to the bathroom, or get into bed by myself. I can't even use my walker. Everything is just exhausting.
On a positive note, the Oman Disabled Association may be providing me with a "sport" wheelchair. After looking into available wheelchairs here in Saudi, my husband and I determined that they were too wide to be any use in our tiny apartment. A friend of my mother's who is wheelchair-bound informed us that there is a narrower and more compact one for small apartment dwellers, and also that I'm entitled to have one provided by the Omani government through the Disabled Association. So there might be some good from that.
Hugs to all--I wish I could reply to every individual post, but I just can't at this point. You're all in my thoughts.
P.S. - I was a gross little girl , too.
So glad you are back. I was about to start appealing to @susieqhusband to post some info on you. I was hopeful since you were putting in your food. Take care of yourself.0 -
rungirl1973 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »
Chiming in here....your date is probably over already, hope it went well!
post date update:
met the dude at a tavern downtown. really super nice guy. had good conversation, were able to laugh and joke a lot, which is awesome. not creepy and not meh (woo!) lol
issues i'm currently trying to reconcile in my brain: (remember NO JUDGEMENT)
- if i hadn't met him on a dating website, where orientation is posted, i would NEVER believe this guy is straight. i texted my friend (who is gay) that i was on a date with his straight doppelganger. so many times through out the night in my head i was just like, omg this is frank, i'm on a date with straight frank. boisterous, animated, like that always turned on and ready to take the stage personality.
- very very talkative. which isn't terrible, but he'd ask me something and half way through my story, he'd being going off on a tangent on something else, and completely cut me off. so like, a 3 minute story would take me like 10 minutes as i'd have to reel him back off the tangent, pick up where i left off and keep going. and the random tangents were funny and he had tons of interesting things to talk about, but seriously talked way more than me. way, way more.
- he's about an inch taller than me, and has a much more slender build. i'm quite "thick," i have tree trunk thighs that aren't going anywhere. so it's kinda like oh, here's dude and his fat girlfriend. and maybe that's dumb of me to think, but i do.
he did say he had a really good time and would like to see me again. which i might do to see if maybe he was just nervous/excited on the "first" date?
Glad he wasn't crazy.
I'd go out with him again and see how that goes. He may have been a nervous talker?
My husband is a little ADHD. He'll tell a story, go off on a tangent, and I have to reel him back in regularly. I've gotten used to that. That point hit home for me. LOL
I also sometimes have to say, "Can I finish my story?" when he cuts me off. He doesn't even realize he's doing it.
That's different than somebody who's so stuck on himself that he won't listen to you...
Interesting! So are you saying that you think he's actually gay but dating women, or that he just reminded you of your gay friend?pofoster21 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »
Chiming in here....your date is probably over already, hope it went well!
post date update:
met the dude at a tavern downtown. really super nice guy. had good conversation, were able to laugh and joke a lot, which is awesome. not creepy and not meh (woo!) lol
issues i'm currently trying to reconcile in my brain: (remember NO JUDGEMENT)
- if i hadn't met him on a dating website, where orientation is posted, i would NEVER believe this guy is straight. i texted my friend (who is gay) that i was on a date with his straight doppelganger. so many times through out the night in my head i was just like, omg this is frank, i'm on a date with straight frank. boisterous, animated, like that always turned on and ready to take the stage personality.
- very very talkative. which isn't terrible, but he'd ask me something and half way through my story, he'd being going off on a tangent on something else, and completely cut me off. so like, a 3 minute story would take me like 10 minutes as i'd have to reel him back off the tangent, pick up where i left off and keep going. and the random tangents were funny and he had tons of interesting things to talk about, but seriously talked way more than me. way, way more.
- he's about an inch taller than me, and has a much more slender build. i'm quite "thick," i have tree trunk thighs that aren't going anywhere. so it's kinda like oh, here's dude and his fat girlfriend. and maybe that's dumb of me to think, but i do.
he did say he had a really good time and would like to see me again. which i might do to see if maybe he was just nervous/excited on the "first" date?
I think you should definitely see him again, if only because you might make a great friend. Unless he talks too much!
Also, regarding physical differences, just to say that my parents are the same height, but for most of their marriage she's been probably a hundred pounds heavier than him. He's loved her and been attracted to her for 52 years, so try not to stress over that side of things.
I was going to say the same thing about the follow up date. If nothing else, maybe you will make a friend that is fun to talk to.
My parents are the same way as well. My mom is heavier than my dad but he has always loved her so much. They look fine together to me.
these give me hope
If nothing else, you are learning more about you, about what works for you and what does not work for you. If he is right for you and you are right for him that is wonderful. If that is not the case, no worries, you are that much closer to the right one!
I think I read the average number of "dates" to find the right one is 70. YIKES! I learned so much about myself in the time I spent dating. I got some funny stories too. There was a sweetheart of a man who really liked me, he was interesting and fun. He, sadly, looked JUST like my younger brother. I couldn't even go on a second date with him.
There was the one who looked (even more sadly) JUST like my former sister in law. I could barely look at him on our coffee date. As the numbers went I think I had (in about six months) 700+ emails of any kind, 100+ email and/or phone conversations, 30+ first dates, 5 second dates, 2 3rd and 4th dates and 4th date with SO is where he asked me to be his girlfriend (awwww). So - it is plain and simple a numbers game. You screen, you meet, you screen, you talk, etc. Take breaks as needed. I would also strongly recommend no more than 2 or maybe 3 dates a week and no more than one a day if you are in the dating pool awhile. No need to burn out on it, it should be fun. Good luck. You are super great!!!! No settling, get Mr. Super Great.
ETA: I "learned" to date in my 40's. I never "dated" like that before, I didn't know how to do it. It was so fun and cool (and scary) to discover so much about myself. I was always 100% myself and clear that I was looking for a good relationship. I did work hard on keeping good boundaries and only dating men who didn't raise red flags.
Nonoelmo your advice is so spot-on about everything! I don't have any sisters, but if I did, I would love her to be like you. And when I become a mother, I hope I'm as in tune as you clearly are with your kids. Internet hugs all-round.
I'm becoming a little fan-girlish I realise.0 -
Just saw an advertisement for KeyLime Pie oreos and immediately thought of this thread haha 0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.7K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 394 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.3K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 952 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions