WOMEN AGES 50 + FOR SEPTEMBER 2015

morning peeps - 8 more days!!! -

whippet - sorry to hear about deedee's issues. i wouldn't be embarrased about the audiobook, it's a book and if my husband would have said that to me, i would have laughed and said it's a book called, ..... and they're talking about blow jobs (or whatever), have you heard of it???

debnmike- congrats on your 14lb loss!!! oh yeah, welcome!!

annr - that makes sense on how your hubby was able to purch a uniform.

welcome laurelin - good luck with your zumba cha cha cha moves!

janetr - tuff life those poochers have

mtowne002 - awww thanks, shucks ::::: as i kick dirt with my head down and hands held together behind my back :::::

it might be worth your while to get a heart rate monitor cathymaclain. you will be surprised on how much you burned watching your granddaughter.

bwcetc - if your worry gene is kicking into hi gear, do i need to strap my boot on and put that into high gear too??? ::::snap out of it!!!:::: he has to want this for himself, you wanting it for him is not going to make it happen. {{{{hugs}}}}}} followed by a :::: kick :::::

whippet - where does she get her clothes, who buys them. can't complain about the clothes if they are being bought for her, karma is a mother for sure. i would let her stink actually... i am very old school and that definatley wouldn't fly if she were my moms daughter, lololol...

type to ya later

Hi all. I am home safe and sound. We had a good time but I am so tired I can't figure out what to do here at work. I saw some cute pictures you guys have been posting. Well, more later. Maybe when I can think straight. Meg from Omaha where I appreciate the lack of traffic after Nashville!

Barbie – I hope Jake figures out the WiFi situation. When we were in El Paso the young woman working the front desk helped us immensely.

Beth – I’m so pleased that your Dad enjoyed his Honor Flight experience. It makes me want to do it again even more. // Do we ever stop worrying about our kids? // More hugs for your situation with your son. I wish I had a magic wand for kids.

Sylvia – Hugs for DGD and her school situations. My DD used to sneak food, and lie about being fed breakfast before school, etc. I spent a lot of time in the Psychologist office trying to learn how to talk to and treat her, and it did NO good, so I REALLY hope you all find the answers she needs. Hugs and Prayers ! ! ! (I could use that magic wand again) // I hope your hips feel better quickly.

Michele – Hugs for such a traumatic day. I hope it continues to get better and better every day.

Mindy – Congrats on your lovely day showing off your new job to your DD. // My DS and DH both have Tommy Copper braces. DS loves them, thinks his knees feel better instantly, so he usually wears them to basketball even when his knees are not hurting (just growing pains, but he is a multi-sport athlete). DH does not like his at all (but I’m not convinced that he bought the right size), mostly because they keep sliding down. DH and I are both fans of proper arch supports inside shoes. I make my own (short/wide foot) and DH got his from The Good Feet Store for several hundred dollars, but swears they are the best things ever, and I believe good foot support is directly related to less leg and back pain.

MnMargaret – Hugs for your situation as well. In Fact, Hugs for everyone with their struggles. Why can’t kids today be as simple as we were at that age? Oh wait, I was the nightmare that walked the line between good and trouble without actually crossing that line. Oops ! ! ! How did my parents have any hair left in their heads - waiting for me to grow-up? More hugs for everyone ! ! !

Heather – Love the rabbit sweater. Very wise advise about talking to our children. I find it easiest in the car, because he likely can’t access anything good on his phone, so I don’t have to get crabby trying to get him to turn it off and pay attention to the conversation. DD just tells me what she wants when she wants. Sometimes that’s never, and sometimes its W A Y too much.

Sylvia – I’m leaning toward thinking she has her cycle, and isn’t 100% secure about how to handle it (like, what to do before during and after shower to not create more of a mess). A slight side-note: One time when my DD had a classmate that had some body odor problems, we went to the Dollar Store and bought a full line of personal hygiene products that all smelled the same and put them in a pretty basket for her Birthday. Body wash, lotion, powder, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, and a pretty sponge; all lilac scent. Granted, this will only help a little if she is having her cycle right now, but it could be a way to open the dialogue. It would probably be less awkward if Grandma gave her a package of thin pads, too (as opposed to Dad taking her shopping for these items). And helping her find healthy and filling snacks might help, too. The dollar stores around here sell smaller snack size Ziploc bags that are perfect for nuts or seeds or trail mix. Granted, I could be WAY off, but I hope brainstorming helps you get moving in the right direction.

I REALLY fell off the wagon yesterday. This soft white diet thing has me thrown for a loop, and I just can't control myself, especially in the middle of the night. I started with an apple & greens smoothie from JambaJuice. Then jumped off face first into a soft pretzel with cheese. Then when I got home, the pumpkin cake I made for DS found it's way to my chair, and I ate 2 pieces. Good thing canned pumpkin is on the "ok to eat" list right now, since I was terribly traumatized by not being able to eat popcorn.

The movie was wonderful. "Everest" was in 3D on the IMAX screen, and amazing scenery. It was produced like a docu-drama, so not completely documentary, but close to the National Geographic story I read a few months ago. The lady next to me cried practically the entire second 1/2 of the movie.

Now, back on the wagon with healthy food, fruit, vegetables, lean meat. yay ! And although my arthritis is terrible in almost my entire body, I was able to distract myself on the bike for 18 minutes this morning (Thank You Pandora !)

Hugs for Everyone ! ! !

Terri in Milwaukee

So i just wanted to introduce myself. I have been here before (at MFP) and have been absent for quite a long time. I have gained A LOT of weight -- mostly stress related eating -- and am at my all time heaviest. I am 53, generally healthy but with about 35-40lbs to lose...(50 would be ideal but i think unrealistic) I am already daunted by the number and because i feel relatively good not as incentivized as i should be. AND because of that, the weight keeps creeping on.
I have been down this road before and i need to really REALLY []REALLY[] get a handle and control on my eating, my emotions and my LIFE.
I have started focusing on myself more: Meditation, Taking courses in Social Media and Portuguese, trying to work on an injury so i can get back to exercising with more oomph and generally trying to better myself.
I have largely focused on EVERYONE ELSE's problems for the last 5 yrs... believing that i am fine and there to support everyone else....now realizing i need to support myself first.
I tend to be pretty happy and can always find a silver lining -- even in the worst situations -- but i really need to -- i don't want to say "FIX" myself -- but i want to HELP me help myself and get to a point where i don't carry my weight as a physical and mental/emo burden.
Goals for the month:

• meditate every am
• study portuguese every day
• follow my course online
• do my PT everyday
• do 30 mins of cardio 4+/wk plus some strength training
• drink 3 glasses of water a day
• JOURNAL JOURNAL JOURNAL
  

cityjaneLondon wrote: »

Hi all!

Sylvia, Beth , Rita, Margaret and others - my heart goes out to all of you who have such big worries over their children. I know how it affects me when my beloved ones are suffering, or are not making good choices for themselves. I don't have any answers, other than to say that, if you can do it, then just listening to what they have to say might help. I am not always good at that myself, but it can be the first step in opening up a dialogue. The other person often doesn't want to talk, but that's because we are not good at listening. Really listening to what is going on with them and not with our own agenda and desire to set them right. As I say, I am not the best example, but we can only try. A really good therapist is even better, but finding the right one is a challenge and the cost often prohibitive. There are lots of books on how to open up non judgemental dialogue so thst is a possible avenue. This might work with younger children who often have a lot on their minds that they can't express easily. Art work, writing can help.
Whatever, it's hard. We feel helpless, but so much want to help. Sending you all my love.

DH is home today because the cricket is rained off. I'm glad as I was getting a bit low. It was most likely because I hadn't been doing my memoir, so I did a few paragraphs today and immediately felt miles better! Keeping my commitments to myself is very important. Writing is vital to my mental health.

Lisa - I hope your a×÷s feels better soon. What an absolute (literally) pain!

Posting a pic of DGD wearing the rabbit cardigan I bought her for her birthday.



Lots of love, Heather UK

Oh My! That is soooo Lovely! What a Cutie!

mollywhippet wrote: »

Oh, boy, do we have a problem! I need some detective help on this one from anyone with experience with pre-teen girls.

This morning I arrived at the apartment building to pick up the kids as usual. My son gets the kids ready and brings them down to the lobby, so he and two of the kids were sitting at the table in the lobby waiting. I asked, where is Adrienne? (She's the one who has been lying, sneaking food, and failing in her classes.). He told me she had forgotten her homework and had to go back upstairs to get it. After several minutes she came down with one sheet of notebook paper, saying she had found it. As she rushed (in a very suspicious manner) to stuff it into her binder we could see that it was blank. My son asked her about it and she said, oh, it's only blank on one side - the homework is on the other side. She swore up and down that it really was her homework. We knew better, so I took the binder and opened it up. Sure enough, the only thing written on the paper was the word "boys". My grandson said, hey, that's the sign from my bedroom door! Then the granddaughter said she had suddenly remembered that her homework was already in her binder. I looked again, and it was. When asked why she went through all that pretense, she just shrugged. She was really mad at me for opening her binder. She didn't talk to me all the way to school. One side note in this saga, is that she was wearing shorts and a tshirt that were WAY to small for her, and she reeked of body odor.

I called my son after I dropped her off and he told me that there was some reason she wanted to be alone in the apartment this morning. They were waiting for her when they were ready to go downstairs and she suggested several times that they should go on and she would come down by herself. He said no, then once they were downstairs she came up with this phony reason that she needed to go back upstairs. He also said that she has been faking taking showers (thus the b.o.) and she got really defensive when he suggested that her clothes were not right for school, but by then she had run out of time to change.

So, I have to wonder what is going on. What reason did she have to want to be alone in the apartment? My son said he is going to look in her room today and see if he can find the reason. He's pretty much at wits end with her. I have to say though, that it's all freakily familiar, because he used to do stuff exactly like that when he was younger, and he went ballistic when I looked in his room. But he was a teenager then, with a very serious drug problem. She is only 11!

It goes to show that Karma really is a b#%ch!

I'm going to buy some deodorant spray and keep it in the van.

Any suggestions? She had been going to see a therapist but he said she was finished and didn't need to come back. And now my son has burned some bridges in the mental health department so he can't take her back anyway. She desperately needs some kind of help though. I'm going to see if I can find anything.

Well, sorry to ramble on. I hope you are all having a beautiful morning.

Sylvia

This just breaks my heart. When my daughter entered middle school she had to have a hoodie from Holister, the store. I took her mall shopping shortly after school started for that hoodie and Vans, the sneakers. Also, have you considered that your GD's period is here and she needs supplies? Perhaps that's why she needed sometime alone. Good luck!

Terri thanks for the humor.

Heather thanks for the reminder to listen to my son. He is calling for help and doesn't always realize it. He will also be getting more treatment that hopefully gives him another approach to getting well.

Miriam I think you made the connection of breathing problems (Beth's DS )at night with his headache. Now he is the one who needs to internalize this information and make the change for himself. Scare tactics are tricky. For some it is the right approach others just dig their heels in further. I also believe those tactics would be more successful if they came from someone other than mom. It is like I know DS drinking is damaging his brain,but that tactic will not get him to stop drinking. It is like I know that piece of chocolate cake is not good for me, but I somehow rationalize a small piece will not hurt. I have to be the one who decides for my reasons not to eat that piece of chocolate cake.

Did any of us change our eating and exercise habits because someone told us carrying all that extra weight would increase our chances of diabetes that causes amputation, blindness, kidney disease, of knee replacements in our fifties, of upping our chances of heart disease, and of cancer. Perhaps it is because we did not listen and ended up with one of these chronic diseases or watched a love one suffer because of one of these diseases that got us to make changes that helped our health. Maybe just maybe we decided we wanted to stop abusing ourselves and live in a state of health that makes it possible to live out our dreams of travel, of relationships that are healthy, of pursuing careers we want, and of just enjoying good health.

MNMargaret

Breaks my heart too. I was the worst 10-15 yr old in history. I hid bloodied knickers and sanitary towels in my wardrobe. I had no one to do my laundry properly for me and was revolted at the thought of my father washing them. I took at least a day a fortnight off school and forged notes so I could secretly put soiled towels in the trash. I wore worn out clothes to school and no one washed my sports stuff. I was seriously depressed.
Yes it was sexual abuse. By my father in my case. Everything that goes on in a child's life impacts on them. They know everything. Adults try to make things seem ok. We are trying our best to protect them and have the best motives. But children always know when there is an elephant in the room even if they can't identify where it is.
Sylvia - you may need to get some advice on how to deal with the very many elephants in Adrienne's life. She has a lot to deal with and is now at an age when she is very aware. No wonder she is acting out.

I speak as someone who could have done a better job with my own kids had I known what I know now. One thing I have got better at is how to ask for help. I know I can't do it on my own. There are many organisations and charities out there who can give insight and support, not the least for yourself.

Love Heather UK

Thanks everyone, for the advice and suggestions. I don't think it's her period because she's been ready for that for a long time. She has all the pads and knows how to use them. We have talked about that several times. She was screened for sexual abuse when she first came to live with my son, after living with her horrible drug addicted mother and horrible drug dealing step father for two years, and there wasn't any sexual abuse problem detected at that time. Lots of other abuse and neglect, but not sexual. Now, after she's been living with my son for two years she is starting to act strangely. It wouldn't hurt to look into it again. My son and I have an appointment to see the school psychologist tomorrow afternoon. But I am going to bring her back to the studio this afternoon to practice piano. I'll see if I can't get her to talk to me then. She alternates between having very low self esteem and thinking she's better (and smarter) than everyone else.

I am the one who has been buying her clothes, but I did not buy what she is wearing this morning. Those must have been really old, in the back of the closet, or her little sister's. I would have been mortified to go to school like that, but she thought she looked fine.

Hubby just left after having lunch with me at the studio. He said he thinks he's eating too much here though, so I think he's wanting to not do it so often. I told him he could just eat less, but he doesn't understand that concept. Silly boy.

I think I may have done some damage to my hips when I was trying to learn to jog. They are really achy and hard to move sometimes. Like there is a catch in my right hip. If it continues I might have to go get it checked.

I just got a call from a professor at the college. They are having a special event and want to bring 16-20 people (all k-12 art teachers) to my studio on October 8th for a project night. Oh boy, that should be fun.
But it gives me a reason to clean out the studio and get ready. I'm afraid it will be worse than having a kids birthday party. There will be wine. They will be making tiles, so that should be pretty easy. Now if I can round up 20 chairs, I'll be OK. I think I'll make a bunch of wine glasses in case they want to buy some that night to drink their wine.

Well, I have drafting to do, so I'd better get it done. Have a great afternoon.

Sylvia

Phone cut things off of my post ...

Joyce ... Can you get done home health care services? Would you and your husband tolerate them?

Heather ... You've hinted at your childhood before ... So sorry ...

Pip ... My husband and I should've had our butts kicked years ago ... We've spoiled this child ... Strap on the boot!

Miriam ... Spot on with cpap advice. This will be addressed once and for all tonight.

Son never went to school ... His dad lit into him again at lunch ... They almost came to blows but then settled down. Did I mention we all are hotheads and stubborn mules? Anyways, I made it clear he would go to work today. He already called off this past weekend ... And I just dropped him off. Have also told him tomorrow is school regardless of how he feels ... We will see how that goes ...

Welcome to the new ladies ... Sorry for the dialog today ...

One good thing .... I'm not eating my stress today!

Beth