What nobody tells you about losing weight
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How you may subconsciously self-sabotage and maintain loss in the middle of a larger goal because of fear. Instead of allowing yourself to push past, and lose even more weight, fear keeps you stuck or yo-yoing those few last pounds before moving onto a larger goal. Thankfully we can give ourselves permission to persevere and shed the security blanket.37
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I'm only on day 6 so far, but this thread has been one heck of an inspiration to me. My biggest fear is loose skin, I am 6'4" and (roughly) 340 pounds so I have a metric snot ton to drop and I am terrified that I am going to look like a sharpei but that fear is not going to hold me back, thank you all for the inspiration.
Feel free to add me.25 -
rachellosesitall85 wrote: »How you may subconsciously self-sabotage and maintain loss in the middle of a larger goal because of fear. Instead of allowing yourself to push past, and lose even more weight, fear keeps you stuck or yo-yoing those few last pounds before moving onto a larger goal. Thankfully we can give ourselves permission to persevere and shed the security blanket.
Omgosh, thank you for this! I think this is me. I know I've been sabotaging myself from losing more but I just can't figure out why. I'm in the middle of it and it's nice to know this is something other people go through too. I'm really hoping I can give myself permission to persevere and get past this hump. Thank you!13 -
I'm only on day 6 so far, but this thread has been one heck of an inspiration to me. My biggest fear is loose skin, I am 6'4" and (roughly) 340 pounds so I have a metric snot ton to drop and I am terrified that I am going to look like a sharpei but that fear is not going to hold me back, thank you all for the inspiration.
Feel free to add me.
I completely understand what you mean about the loose skin. After 3 kids and gaining a total of 70 lbs over the years I am finally on the losing side. The trouble is that I have already started to see the flabby skin problem especially with me stomach. There are some outfits and dresses I have that I have to wear a girdle with not bc of fat but bc of loose skin hanging or sagging or jiggling. Anyone have any tips to help combat this problem?
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Sorry to say I don;t have any tips, other than the words of a surgeon who said you need to give the body 2 years to shrink, readjust as much as it can before you know where you will end up. I have over 130lb to lose, I'm 5'7", and 17 lb down, I can already see that I will be like a wrinkly prune- all over. And I'm sad and scared about that.
I'm going to have to wear little girdles and things as Arwen is saying. Mostly, when my fear rises I try to remind myself, that its better I can run along the beach, even if I have to girdle up so as not to wobble all over the place inside my clothes, than not be able to run.
Its better my grand children to be get to make fun of my wrinkly skin as I am rolling around with them, than either me not being here at all, or, unable to roll around with them.
And, as much as I'm scared of starting a new relationship with someone and letting them see /feel me naked when I am all wrinkled, - I get it's not the most attractive thing - I kind of feel like the loose skin will be like my battle scars - like the way an old persons wrinkled face shows the lines of their life's story - and as much as i would have preferred I not have created this life story- I did - and these are the wrinkles that will show that story of my life.39 -
@FitToLead I definitely understand what you are saying. I have lots of surgical scars and stretch marks from my babies and I wear them like a badge of honor bc they remind me of my life's journey. Surgery to remove the extra skin or gettin a tummy tuck is the last resort if I can't get my skin back to a place I am comfortable with. I know it's not gonna be perfect but as long as I feel good and confident about myself in the end that's all that matters to me in regards to this issue. I did read that wearing girdles while losing weight and working out can help keep the skin in place while it shrinks back down...also moisturizing every day with a good firming cream can help as well...or so I'm told.
I'm 5 ft 7 as well however your goal is much more ambitious than mine and I applaud you for it. My long term goal is 40 lbs but my short term goal is 15. Please feel free to add me so we can support each other on our journeys1 -
How much time I would spend staring at my hands, because they look so different, and how fascinated I am by the little hollow below my thumb.10
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Feel free to add me.
My average weight most of my life was in the 265-275 range at 5' 10".
On at least 4 occasions I lost down to about 180 and never had any problems with excess skin.
I think the last time I did that I was in my late 40s. Now at 64 I am at it again, hopefully for the last time, and I am definitely going to have excess skin when I am done.
So age and how long I have been too heavy have definitely played a part for me.
I think you are young enough that you will be ok but of course that is only an opinion.
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Buying Smaller sanitary pads.....12
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Getting dressed in the morning thinking your pants look so small they aren't going to fit then realize they're actually big. Every morning this happens - still getting used to it26
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This thread turned out to be totally motivational. These are a lot of nice problems to have considering where we've been.
Pulling my pants up because the belts are too loose when they're on the last notch
Looking in my closet realizing you have to replace all my pants. On the other hand looking at the prices and realizing I don't have to pay extra for larger sizes is nice.
Being cold all the time
Having to relearn what size pants I wear I just use the order online now actually have to go to the store and try them on.
Going to bed can be a *kitten*. Had plenty of padding before now it feels funny laying down and being bony. Thank God I have a Select Comfort bed so I can adjust it.
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Sorry in advance for the wall of text! Love this thread I've read all of it over a week.
I started at 285 and am currently at 227 (goal 150). So far the things I didn't expect/no-one told me:
- I wouldn't notice when I achieve something I couldn't do before until later (I was unable to walk more than 100 meters at my highest without getting shin splints, and I would have to stop at the stop of the stairs in the railway station to pretend to read the time table until I got my breath back. Recently I walked up those stairs with a fit friend, matching their pace, and holding a conversation and continuing without a pause, I didn't realise until hours later).
- I wouldn't be able to see a difference in the mirror, but would be able to in comparison photos and am able to feel it in my clothes.
- It will take quite a lot of weight to drop a dress size (I know this changes with the paper towel effect but currently even large amounts of weight loss aren't noticeable).
- I would become more assertive looking out for my own interests, but also less self involved. Previously I would never cancel on a friend, allow myself to be treated like a doormat, and even not sit on public transport because I felt everyone else was more worthy. Now I have the confidence to say no to things I don't want to do (and weirdly my friendships seem better I'm not sure if I was needy before, but my friendships seem to be much more chilled), and I'm quite happy to exist and take up space un-apologetically. In terms of being less self involved, I no longer assume everyone I meet is thinking horrible thoughts about me, or constantly worrying about how the world reacted to me. Now I'm not sure if I don't care, or because I feel less conspicuous I've stopped thinking about myself but focusing on the event or whats going on (it's so nice not worrying/thinking about myself so much)
- My overall mental health would improve, I'm happier, I haven't had a panic attack in almost a year (I used to have them daily), I don't feel worthless anymore and even though I'm not at goal I love myself as I am but continue to want to improve. I feel much less shame on a day to day basis. I had the confidence to start yoga classes, and even though I'm always the worst in the class, I'm not overcome by embarrassment and self hate.
- I would be happy going out without make up. Previously I would never be seen out without full hair and make up, because I felt I had to make twice as much effort to look half as good as everyone else. I thought if I looked even slightly unkempt I would be ridiculed. Now I'm fine popping to the shop without make up and hair scraped back.
Looking forward to the next phase of loss, not seeing any loose skin yet but am likely to have some!57 -
shelbygt600 wrote: »Sorry in advance for the wall of text! Love this thread I've read all of it over a week.
I started at 285 and am currently at 227 (goal 150). So far the things I didn't expect/no-one told me:
- I
- It will take quite a lot of weight to drop a dress size (I know this changes with the paper towel effect but currently even large amounts of weight loss aren't noticeable).
- I would become more assertive looking out for my own interests, but also less self involved. Previously I would never cancel on a friend, allow myself to be treated like a doormat, and even not sit on public transport because I felt everyone else was more worthy. Now I have the confidence to say no to things I don't want to do (and weirdly my friendships seem better I'm not sure if I was needy before, but my friendships seem to be much more chilled), and I'm quite happy to exist and take up space un-apologetically. In terms of being less self involved, I no longer assume everyone I meet is thinking horrible thoughts about me, or constantly worrying about how the world reacted to me. Now I'm not sure if I don't care, or because I feel less conspicuous I've stopped thinking about myself but focusing on the event or whats going on (it's so nice not worrying/thinking about myself so much)
- My overall mental health would improve, I'm happier, I haven't had a panic attack in almost a year (I used to have them daily), I don't feel worthless anymore and even though I'm not at goal I love myself as I am but continue to want to improve. I feel much less shame on a day to day basis. I had the confidence to start yoga classes, and even though I'm always the worst in the class, I'm not overcome by embarrassment and self hate.
- I would be happy going out without make up. Previously I would never be seen out without full hair and make up, because I felt I had to make twice as much effort to look half as good as everyone else. I thought if I looked even slightly unkempt I would be ridiculed. Now I'm fine popping to the shop without make up and hair scraped back.
Looking forward to the next phase of loss, not seeing any loose skin yet but am likely to have some!
What's the paper towel effect?
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What's the paper towel effect?
I've stolen the text from http://vitals.lifehacker.com/the-paper-towel-analogy-explains-why-weight-loss-is-a-1733478690 since it explains it better than I could:
The lesson to be learned is that fat, like paper towels, comes off in sheets. When you are heavy, you are big around. And when you are big around, that fat is spread over a MUCH larger area - just like that outside towel sheet. The closer you get to the lean you, the more each lost pound of fat shows, because it is spread over a smaller area.
While the outside sheet may only cover 1 layer of the roll, the inside sheet may go around 4 times. That last sheet looks like it gives you 4 times the results of the first sheet, but in reality, the results are the same - your perception is just different! And you’ll never see the inside, if you aren’t patient while the outside is coming off!75 -
shelbygt600 wrote: »What's the paper towel effect?
I've stolen the text from http://vitals.lifehacker.com/the-paper-towel-analogy-explains-why-weight-loss-is-a-1733478690 since it explains it better than I could:
The lesson to be learned is that fat, like paper towels, comes off in sheets. When you are heavy, you are big around. And when you are big around, that fat is spread over a MUCH larger area - just like that outside towel sheet. The closer you get to the lean you, the more each lost pound of fat shows, because it is spread over a smaller area.
While the outside sheet may only cover 1 layer of the roll, the inside sheet may go around 4 times. That last sheet looks like it gives you 4 times the results of the first sheet, but in reality, the results are the same - your perception is just different! And you’ll never see the inside, if you aren’t patient while the outside is coming off!
Wow-great analogy! Thank you for sharing.4 -
shelbygt600 wrote: »What's the paper towel effect?
I've stolen the text from http://vitals.lifehacker.com/the-paper-towel-analogy-explains-why-weight-loss-is-a-1733478690 since it explains it better than I could:
The lesson to be learned is that fat, like paper towels, comes off in sheets. When you are heavy, you are big around. And when you are big around, that fat is spread over a MUCH larger area - just like that outside towel sheet. The closer you get to the lean you, the more each lost pound of fat shows, because it is spread over a smaller area.
While the outside sheet may only cover 1 layer of the roll, the inside sheet may go around 4 times. That last sheet looks like it gives you 4 times the results of the first sheet, but in reality, the results are the same - your perception is just different! And you’ll never see the inside, if you aren’t patient while the outside is coming off!
Ahhhh
Thanks for explaining!7 -
shelbygt600 wrote: »
- I would be happy going out without make up. Previously I would never be seen out without full hair and make up, because I felt I had to make twice as much effort to look half as good as everyone else. I thought if I looked even slightly unkempt I would be ridiculed. Now I'm fine popping to the shop without make up and hair scraped back.
This! ^ I would NEVER go out without makeup and hair done when I was heavier. Now it really doesn't bother me.
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...the nuclear level high you experience when you try on a smaller size and the fit is comfortable when you were expecting "snug".
...looking in the closet for shirts you neglected because they weren't big enough, since they are perfect now.10 -
Feeling confident enough in my own body to not cross my arms over my stomach when I sit (as if it hides the rolls)...instead to sit with my arms resting comfortably on the arm rests like a queen! ;-). I haven't gotten back to this state yet (about 30lbs to go) but I remember what it felt like so getting back there keeps me going.11
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