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Body Positive Movement - For or against?

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  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 32,070 Member
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    PWHF wrote: »
    Phirrgus wrote: »
    PWHF wrote: »
    Phirrgus wrote: »
    AnnPT77 wrote: »

    There are a bunch of terms in common parlance that seem to bring out symbol-reactive behavior, and feed polarization. I wish there were ways we could be trying to understand the pictures in each other’s heads, rather than reacting to specific words we use to try to communicate them.

    ^^^This. Communication can be difficult as it is. When terms commonly used by several different people are defined by those people in several different ways communication can stagnate and a war of words breaks out. In my tiny corner of the world experience in the form of walking in the others shoes will always carry more weight than academically learned definitions. An example would be the short account of two young children answering a quiz question that I read about decades ago. 1 child was from a poor family, the other from a wealthy family.

    Question: "What do you place your tea cup on when you put it down?"

    A saucer or the table?

    The poor child said table, the wealthy said saucer. Both are right per their 'learned' experience.

    "Privilege" can be used with positive or negative connotations. It would be nice if that, and other "hot" terms were used as originally intended instead of insults. Having a privilege is not a bad thing.

    100% agree. Also on the polarization thing. I've noticed in myself that I find arguing on the Internet very stimulating and it must be releasing some kind of chemical rush in my brain. I know it's not good for me so I'm going to mindfully and consciously stop doing it. :smiley:

    :D I keep finding myself coming back for more lol. I don't reply often, but do acknowledge I might have a problem :p

    Same here - just another bad habit that needs kicking into touch. My life just seems to be a succession of things I have to stop doing... At least i can enjoy my privilege (for now!)

    Just a mild suggestion: Don't stop. You seem like a smart, decent guy: You should hang around, and join in.

    Learn to recognize that chemical rush you mentioned, and stop before you hit post. Read again, think more, post something less polemical, something that fosters communication or connection.

    There could be a chemical rush from that, too, ya never know. ;)
  • lemurcat2
    lemurcat2 Posts: 7,885 Member
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    CSARdiver wrote: »
    aokoye wrote: »
    CSARdiver wrote: »
    lemurcat2 wrote: »
    PWHF wrote: »
    I believe people can do what they want with their bodies and life choices. But if you're not happy with your body and life choices it's not the problem of people who have made different life choices....

    imagine if I started attacking people on social media who were posting up pics of them enjoying a drink at a party - because I cant...

    I don't believe anyone has suggested doing this or spoken approvingly of such behavior. To me, such things would be the antithesis of body positivity. So it seems like a strawman.

    IME, accepting yourself despite the imperfections of your body and past eating/exercise choices and NOT feeling shame and self-hatred and out of control, but instead realizing "I can do this" and wanting to do it as a positive thing for yourself was basically tied up with body positivity and what allowed me to make positive changes (in my head I said they were good and worth it whether or not I lost weight) and, indeed, to lose weight.

    The idea that most fat people are sitting around attacking people on social media for being thin is perhaps a fun thing for you to think about, but I don't think it's reality. Plus, people who attack others based on envy are more likely to be suffering from self-hatred than to have a real attitude of positivity.

    This sums up the absurd notion of privilege. An embodiment of envy.

    I couldn't disagree more. It sounds like you have a very poor understanding of what most, if not many, people mean when they're talking about privilege. Looking at sociology texts on the subject might be one good place to start for you that gets away from "laymen" discussing it (despite the fact that everyone who I know that talks about privilege in the "power and privilege" sort of context is using the academic meaning). Gender studies and ethic studies texts would be other good places to find overviews).

    I understand what it means and what it's attempting to produce. What's piteous is that the theory and underlying concept, if realized to it's logical endpoint - results in individualism. So either proponents haven't realized this yet, or more insidiously, using this to gain power.

    It is entirely regressive as is all post-modernist thought.

    Seeing as conceptions of privilege exist in the writing of Du Bois as far back as 1903, I don't think privilege is a concept that could be called necessarily post-modern.

    Agree, but it does seem to be very much overused in current popular discourse (although I am sure it depends on who you are interacting with). A book I quite liked on the topic is Phoebe Maltz Bovy's The Perils of Privilege. (https://us.macmillan.com/books/9781250091208) I think it's pretty thoughtful and even-handed.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/book-party/wp/2017/03/23/the-last-thing-on-privilege-youll-ever-need-to-read/
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
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    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    PWHF wrote: »
    Phirrgus wrote: »
    PWHF wrote: »
    Phirrgus wrote: »
    AnnPT77 wrote: »

    There are a bunch of terms in common parlance that seem to bring out symbol-reactive behavior, and feed polarization. I wish there were ways we could be trying to understand the pictures in each other’s heads, rather than reacting to specific words we use to try to communicate them.

    ^^^This. Communication can be difficult as it is. When terms commonly used by several different people are defined by those people in several different ways communication can stagnate and a war of words breaks out. In my tiny corner of the world experience in the form of walking in the others shoes will always carry more weight than academically learned definitions. An example would be the short account of two young children answering a quiz question that I read about decades ago. 1 child was from a poor family, the other from a wealthy family.

    Question: "What do you place your tea cup on when you put it down?"

    A saucer or the table?

    The poor child said table, the wealthy said saucer. Both are right per their 'learned' experience.

    "Privilege" can be used with positive or negative connotations. It would be nice if that, and other "hot" terms were used as originally intended instead of insults. Having a privilege is not a bad thing.

    100% agree. Also on the polarization thing. I've noticed in myself that I find arguing on the Internet very stimulating and it must be releasing some kind of chemical rush in my brain. I know it's not good for me so I'm going to mindfully and consciously stop doing it. :smiley:

    :D I keep finding myself coming back for more lol. I don't reply often, but do acknowledge I might have a problem :p

    Same here - just another bad habit that needs kicking into touch. My life just seems to be a succession of things I have to stop doing... At least i can enjoy my privilege (for now!)

    Just a mild suggestion: Don't stop. You seem like a smart, decent guy: You should hang around, and join in.

    Learn to recognize that chemical rush you mentioned, and stop before you hit post. Read again, think more, post something less polemical, something that fosters communication or connection.

    There could be a chemical rush from that, too, ya never know. ;)

    We tend to be horrible at communication, or at least much worse than we believe ourselves to be. We don't even process information as we believe we do. We like to think we seek out all information and scientifically deduce what is fact and what is false, but in reality we operate by confirmation bias - come up with a notion and only focus on information we already know to be true.

    The only counter to this is engaged debate, for if we stop talking to one another we tend to believe our own BS. Historically this means war.

    A mentor gave me what he termed the 24 hour rule. If he received an email that he first interpreted as combative he would respond with "I received your note and will get back to you by end of day tomorrow", then he would take time to consider the intent of the message and put the author into the most positive light, then allowing himself 24 hours to cool off and carefully respond.

  • IWillTakeBackMyLife
    Options
    Certain groups of people go too far whilst striving for acceptance to the point they identify obesity just as some unshakeable part of who they are and take any comments or advice related to such as an attack against their very person. It's an extremist coping mechanism that people need to be snapped out of. Failure is a part of the journey that helps you grow as a person. Every time you get back up is imperative, it is crucial, it means you're living and you're fighting for a better life, a real, genuine life you can proudly call your own. Would you rather be surrounded by people who will help you fight for that dream, or would you surround yourself with convenient frauds who will pamper you all the way to your early coffin, just as you them? It's a slow, painful death too. That will wake a lot of people up, but for some of them it will already be too late. It's never too late, until you're dead.

    Failure is not an excuse to give up, it's a reason to fight. Because they fail so much to succeed in getting rid of it, they'd rather just accept it and see it in a positive light and anyone who doesn't agree is just a bad judgmental person to them. It's simultaneously ridiculous yet also not surprising that such a toxic ideal has become so endorsed by the general population. I don't want to be friends with someone who wouldn't even have the balls to call me out on my bad behavior, and that goes both ways. I was never body positive, more so in the opposite direction to a fault. I have a tendency to be very negative about my body to the point I feel like I am never doing enough to improve, although I am never this way to others. What's important is maintaining a balanced perspective and staying focused on what truly matters and helping people reach healthy conclusions without being condescending, hateful or otherwise. Trying to make obesity normalized, promoting it and glorifying it is no different than glorifying any other disease. It's an insane and weak thing to do.

    Humans should strive to be better than that of course. But at the same time, at the other end of the board lies extremist body negativity that just makes people feel bad, hated, alienated and inhuman. It's not good to surround yourself with people who breed too much negativity or too much artificial positivity. Focus on yourself and focus on what is right in front of you, always look forward, failures and all.
  • aokoye
    aokoye Posts: 3,495 Member
    edited September 2019
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    And let me be very clear. I am not assuming than anyone is "choosing" to have xyz privilege in most instances. You don't get to choose to be white, male, born in a specific country, etc. Even when people are able to make choices that are related to privilege (religion for example), I don't think people are saying, "oh I know what's a good idea - becoming a Christian so I can get various holidays off without any effort!" Never mind to that it's not an easy "this person has privilege and this person doesn't". It's not black and white because people have intersecting identities.

    This is also not something that one person or small group of people created or decided on. It's a systemic issue that has been stoked for centuries. Yes you can choose to be racist, sexist, transphobic, anti-semitic, islamaphobic, homophobic, xenophobic, etc, but the privilege someone has in, for instance, being a white, cisgender, Protestant man born and raised in the US whose family didn't recently immigrate (within a few generations) isn't something that they chose.

    Whether or not you acknowledge your privilege, however, is a whole other thing. That is a choice that someone can make. One can also make a decision as to whether or not they're going to try to chip away at the inequality caused by privilege that various groups have.
  • vanityy99
    vanityy99 Posts: 2,583 Member
    edited September 2019
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    Dolly989 wrote: »
    Me and my friend were messing around in a jacuzzi in our bikinis on vacation and had it up on our stories on instagram. We got so much hate off people saying stuff like "she loves herself" "get some clothes on" ect. Yet the last few months all over social media I've been seeing bigger women posting pictures posing in underwear/bikinis with long captions about body positivity and self love. These women were being praised while I was being teared down just because we are some peoples standard of beauty dosn't mean we don't have insecurites. I have things I don't like about myself but there I was trying to love myself and my body but that wasn't allowed. The people who were giving us hate would be the same type of people who'd post about body positivity.

    In general.... that’s my observation too. If you’re good looking and you come off as confident - it’s frowned upon. You should be hush hush about it. But when it’s vice versa those women get praised- they are “admirable. Which to me comes off as pretentious.

    Seems like a girl has to be insecure and not up to today’s beauty standards first to be like “ damn I look good”.

    When I see girls cocky af I’m happy for them. And if others have a problem with it, that’s their issue. Get over it.

    Do you want girls to be confident or not?
  • CSARdiver
    CSARdiver Posts: 6,252 Member
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    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    CSARdiver wrote: »
    These movements grow in roughly the same manner - from a legitimate concern which needs to be reviewed, but once addressed the momentum isn't stopped. People are too invested into the political animus and branch far beyond, so movements unreliant on competency inevitably trend to corruption - unchecked consolidation of power.

    "These movements?"
    "People"?

    I think (hope) you know, from experience across threads, that I like and respect you . . . but I have to say, sometimes I feel as if you have an extreme affection for the Grand Generalization. :flowerforyou:

    In my weird ol' world, generalizations are mostly words about words, not so much words about things. ( <== Even this one ;) ). Lots (too much) gets left out.

    What is the purpose of recognizing privilege? Is there a resulting action from this? If one was to conduct a comparative analysis of successful and unsuccessful individuals and adapt behaviors to better prepare the unsuccessful, then this has potential for good. If used to remove "roadblocks" this has potential for good. Check the system for systemic unfairness - again potential for good. If simply used to fulfill a narcissistic need to justify fantasy and reject reality, then there is no potential for good. If used politically to pit one group against another - while there may be a theoretical potential for good historically this has resulted in starvation and genocide.
    For me, personally, the point of recognizing (my) privilege is to feel gratitude for where I find myself, to recognize that (often) it's completely unearned, to school myself toward compassion for people differently situated, and to recognize that my situation can sometimes (if I'm lucky) create a platform from which I could potentially help others.

    Recognizing (my) absence of privilege is to me kind of academic, sometimes gives me a little help in organizing my thoughts, or recognizing opportunities/barriers I need to consider, but that's about it. It's no kind of pulpit, that's for sure**.

    I understand that sometimes people use others' "privilege" as a club to strike with, which is way beyond silly, but I also believe that denying that privilege exists at all is myopic.

    **ETA: Well, mostly. I do know more about how it feels to be part of a group or class I belong to, than people not in that group or class do, and I get to talk about that. Not grandstand, though, ideally. ;)

    It's also incredibly dishonest (although insidiously brilliant) how binary thought results in very specific recognition of privilege in certain areas while completely ignoring others. Although I suspect this will continue to increase given time as a good majority active seek and promote some manner of how they do are part of a victim class. It is far easier to destroy than create, as such far easier to criticize others than change your behavior.

    There's a foundational flaw in the logic which presumes that man is good and that if the system were to only be tweaked, life would be better. Reality is quite the opposite as your chances of making this worse greatly exceed your chances for improving anything for anyone. Man has an equal capacity for good and evil, but left unchecked trends to evil. The most effective means of mitigating this is serving a higher purpose beyond the individual - beyond generations.

    I feel like you're positing some presumed other here, and arguing against him/her. There has been very little in this thread of participants claiming they are a part of a victim class and making that an excuse for not changing their behavior. I would not say that recognizing oneself as a member of a disadvantaged class, with respect to particular circumstances, is identical to being or feeling like a "victim". To the contrary, that recognition can be material to formulating strategies for moving forward productively.

    Another foundational flaw is that of zero sum - that the assets are fixed. The resentful look at whoever they see as having life better and cannot see beyond privilege - skinny genes, high metabolism, etc. The fit did not get so by making the obese, nor did the obese suffer at the hands of the fit. Assets in nearly all systems are variable - they expand and contract - are created and destroyed.
    I agree that it's common to assume things that are not zero sum, are zero sum. Some resources are limited, others are not. I feel like this is a subcase of thinking in snapshots, as contrasted with thinking in dynamic systems (also common) . . . thinking in nouns, as it were, more than thinking in verbs.

    The fatal flaw in privilege, and this also lies at the heart of postmoderism is the limit of scope. Any hypothesis worth review is taken to extreme to ensure consistency. Privilege is highly scoped by very specific criteria to establish a false narrative to gain political power. Competency for example is a very real privilege. The competent are given increasing challenges while the incompetent are given less. Attractiveness, sex, sexual orientation, gender, age, hair color, eye color, height, weight, epidermal pigmentation, IQ, EQ, culture, race, creed, genetics - carried out infinitesimally this brings us and infinitesimal number of privileges, which brings us inevitably to the individual. No two humans think and act the same every time - and you've once again stumbled into the age of enlightenment. Congratulations! You've discovered what we figured out 300 years ago (which figured out what we knew 2000 years ago).

    I'm not even sure what you're trying to say here. Who is pursuing the reductio ad whatever here? Me? You? "Postmodernism"? Someone else? The extreme implication is not a failproof test of a concept's utility at a less-extreme point, regardless. Short of the laws of physics, few generalizations are universally accurate or useful.

    I can think of limited circumstances (i.e., some, not lots) where competence has been treated as if it were a privilege, but I don't think that's a common way of looking at it.

    If we are to generalize at all, to use abstractions, then it seems (to me) inarguable that at any point in history, some advantages tend to apply to belonging to certain groups, in an approximate (i.e., not entirely universal) kind of way. That effect of group advantage/disadvantage seems worthy of consideration, when we consider individuals . . . but I think one can hold in mind simultaneously the competing (?) idea that each individual is in fact an individual, when dealing with a specific person. Even when generalizing about groups (possibly a.k.a. stereotyping), it's essential to keep in mind that we're abstracting, and that individuals within the group will differ, sometime differing so much that the generality doesn't apply.

    Part of what makes thinking difficult . . . .

    I see things from a philosophical perspective or human nature in general. Specifically within the body positive movement it begins with legitimacy. A group of people feel victimized and come together to gain strength and to right wrongs. They form an argument and present this to a larger group, which reviews the claim and agrees, disagrees, or requires additional information. Awareness is brought, laws are changed. ....but then what happens to the leaders within the movement? They have power, continue to use this, and as humans behave, overextend their reach, or worse - serve the interest of a corrupt narcissist. The once sympathizing public has had enough once they realize there is no intent for mutual betterment.

    I very much agree that recognizing one's privilege and responding with gratitude is virtuous. Gratitude is one of the foundations to happiness and a virtuous life. To the counter if you insist upon another recognizing their privilege this ceases to be virtuous - this is envy. Privilege exists from multiple causes - some we have control over and some beyond our control. If you apply this knowledge to equalizing opportunity it has the potential for good. If your intent is to control the outcome....well I'm hard pressed to think of anything that would produce more evil results.

    Also recongizing that the same generalization is inherent within the concept of privilege. If one would simply bring a specific greivance against an individual and prove that they were wronged, there would be little debate. To indict based upon generalization is fruitless.

    My gripe against the postmodernism is the abject lack of academic rigor and sheer laziness involved. I saw this occur in the humanities departments in the early 1990s. Like a cancer, but killing reason. Despite continuous ridicule it seems to continually emerge and has effectively destroyed the humanities.

    Brilliant article by Richard Dawkins on the pseudointellectualism postmodernism develops:

    https://physics.nyu.edu/faculty/sokal/dawkins.html

    Another personal favorite is the privilege addressed by postmodernist "scholar" Luce Irigaray:

    "E=mc2 is a "sexed equation" because it "privileges the speed of light over other speeds that are vitally necessary to us"

    Another Sokal hoax exposing this in academia:

    https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2018/10/new-sokal-hoax/572212/

    I guess this serves as the counter to iron sharpens iron. Mud sharpens nothing.
  • vanityy99
    vanityy99 Posts: 2,583 Member
    edited September 2019
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    MikePTY wrote: »
    vanityy99 wrote: »
    Dolly989 wrote: »
    Me and my friend were messing around in a jacuzzi in our bikinis on vacation and had it up on our stories on instagram. We got so much hate off people saying stuff like "she loves herself" "get some clothes on" ect. Yet the last few months all over social media I've been seeing bigger women posting pictures posing in underwear/bikinis with long captions about body positivity and self love. These women were being praised while I was being teared down just because we are some peoples standard of beauty dosn't mean we don't have insecurites. I have things I don't like about myself but there I was trying to love myself and my body but that wasn't allowed. The people who were giving us hate would be the same type of people who'd post about body positivity.

    In general.... that’s my observation too. If you’re good looking and you come off as confident - it’s frowned upon. You should be hush hush about it. But when it’s vice versa those women get praised- they are “admirable. Which to me comes off as pretentious.

    Seems like a girl has to be insecure and not up to today’s beauty standards first to be like “ damn I look good”.

    When I see girls cocky af I’m happy for them. And if others have a problem with it, that’s their issue. Get over it.

    Do you want girls to be confident or not?

    While the internet can certainly be an awful place for everyone, particularly women, both skinny and obese, I really don't think we live in some sort of world where being obese is praised and being skinny is criticized. You know how I know? If you were to give 100 obese women the chance to be skinny overnight tomorrow, and 100 skinny women the chance to be obese, almost all the obese women would take it and I don't think one of the skinny women would.

    Body positivity is for skinny women (and men) as well as obese women (men), and as society we should try to be better to people of all sizes. But I think it's a bit ridiculous to assume that somehow obese women have it easier.

    From what I’ve heard and seen with my own two eyes and ears, from being around young girls and women, and from my own experience... I was relating to what dolly said. I get what she’s saying. This isn’t the “ who has it worse” olympics btw. It’s personal experience. Ok?

    I’m not talking about who gets criticized more for being overweight vs normal sized. I was more so talking about how it seems to me that it’s more frowned upon for girls who are considered beautiful in today’s society to express their confidence vs someone who isn’t considered beautiful.

    If a bigger girl says damn I look good people will praise her and be like “ yas girl yas”

    Beautiful girl says the same thing- it leaves a bad taste in others mouth


    Why not have the same energy for everyone.

    It’s like you can’t be sexy and know it. It’s not as ok to express it. Does society want confident girls or not?

  • Theoldguy1
    Theoldguy1 Posts: 2,454 Member
    edited September 2019
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    [/quote]

    There are parts of North America where the nearest grocery store, Walmart or farm is over an hour's drive away. But if you don't have a car and you're working 2-3 jobs to avoid homelessness, what can you do?[/quote]

    If the nearest grocery store or Wal-Mart is over an hour's drive away you are in a very rural area and would have to have a car to get to your jobs.
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 9,964 Member
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    lemurcat2 wrote: »
    lemurcat2 wrote: »
    mbaker566 wrote: »
    ftr, an internet connection, and something to receive it, is a privilege

    Libraries do provide these. Around here it's common for poorer people to use the library for that purpose.

    I'm sure there are places where libraries are less accessible, however (I just think noting that this is one of the great services libraries provide is worthwhile).

    Libraries are great. Libraries also frequently have limited hours. The times people who work "day jobs" have free are the same times that libraries are closed. Also, I'm guessing that most libraries are going to at least ponder whether they really want people working out in the space next to the computer station to YouTube cardio and bodyweight videos.

    Pretty sure we've already clarified that I was not suggesting that people go to the library to workout.

    I have lots of privilege. Being able to keep up with threads that add two or three pages of posts a day is not an aspect of my privilege. If I waited until I had caught up on every thread before posting, I would never post anything.
  • lynn_glenmont
    lynn_glenmont Posts: 9,964 Member
    Options
    CSARdiver wrote: »
    These movements grow in roughly the same manner - from a legitimate concern which needs to be reviewed, but once addressed the momentum isn't stopped. People are too invested into the political animus and branch far beyond, so movements unreliant on competency inevitably trend to corruption - unchecked consolidation of power.

    What is the purpose of recognizing privilege? Is there a resulting action from this? If one was to conduct a comparative analysis of successful and unsuccessful individuals and adapt behaviors to better prepare the unsuccessful, then this has potential for good. If used to remove "roadblocks" this has potential for good. Check the system for systemic unfairness - again potential for good. If simply used to fulfill a narcissistic need to justify fantasy and reject reality, then there is no potential for good. If used politically to pit one group against another - while there may be a theoretical potential for good historically this has resulted in starvation and genocide.

    It's also incredibly dishonest (although insidiously brilliant) how binary thought results in very specific recognition of privilege in certain areas while completely ignoring others. Although I suspect this will continue to increase given time as a good majority active seek and promote some manner of how they do are part of a victim class. It is far easier to destroy than create, as such far easier to criticize others than change your behavior.

    There's a foundational flaw in the logic which presumes that man is good and that if the system were to only be tweaked, life would be better. Reality is quite the opposite as your chances of making this worse greatly exceed your chances for improving anything for anyone. Man has an equal capacity for good and evil, but left unchecked trends to evil. The most effective means of mitigating this is serving a higher purpose beyond the individual - beyond generations.

    Another foundational flaw is that of zero sum - that the assets are fixed. The resentful look at whoever they see as having life better and cannot see beyond privilege - skinny genes, high metabolism, etc. The fit did not get so by making the obese, nor did the obese suffer at the hands of the fit. Assets in nearly all systems are variable - they expand and contract - are created and destroyed.

    The fatal flaw in privilege, and this also lies at the heart of postmoderism is the limit of scope. Any hypothesis worth review is taken to extreme to ensure consistency. Privilege is highly scoped by very specific criteria to establish a false narrative to gain political power. Competency for example is a very real privilege. The competent are given increasing challenges while the incompetent are given less. Attractiveness, sex, sexual orientation, gender, age, hair color, eye color, height, weight, epidermal pigmentation, IQ, EQ, culture, race, creed, genetics - carried out infinitesimally this brings us and infinitesimal number of privileges, which brings us inevitably to the individual. No two humans think and act the same every time - and you've once again stumbled into the age of enlightenment. Congratulations! You've discovered what we figured out 300 years ago (which figured out what we knew 2000 years ago).



    So, the bolded sentence isn't using privilege in the way that it is used by most people who think talking about privilege is an important and enlightening thing to do sometimes. To them, privilege is not the inherent genetic characteristic you have (like skinny genes or high metabolism, or even being white or male). Privilege is all the benefits society accords you because you have characteristic, including the privilege of not having to even notice that you get benefits that people who don't have that characteristic don't get.



  • PWHF
    PWHF Posts: 221 Member
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    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    PWHF wrote: »
    Phirrgus wrote: »
    PWHF wrote: »
    Phirrgus wrote: »
    AnnPT77 wrote: »

    There are a bunch of terms in common parlance that seem to bring out symbol-reactive behavior, and feed polarization. I wish there were ways we could be trying to understand the pictures in each other’s heads, rather than reacting to specific words we use to try to communicate them.

    ^^^This. Communication can be difficult as it is. When terms commonly used by several different people are defined by those people in several different ways communication can stagnate and a war of words breaks out. In my tiny corner of the world experience in the form of walking in the others shoes will always carry more weight than academically learned definitions. An example would be the short account of two young children answering a quiz question that I read about decades ago. 1 child was from a poor family, the other from a wealthy family.

    Question: "What do you place your tea cup on when you put it down?"

    A saucer or the table?

    The poor child said table, the wealthy said saucer. Both are right per their 'learned' experience.

    "Privilege" can be used with positive or negative connotations. It would be nice if that, and other "hot" terms were used as originally intended instead of insults. Having a privilege is not a bad thing.

    100% agree. Also on the polarization thing. I've noticed in myself that I find arguing on the Internet very stimulating and it must be releasing some kind of chemical rush in my brain. I know it's not good for me so I'm going to mindfully and consciously stop doing it. :smiley:

    :D I keep finding myself coming back for more lol. I don't reply often, but do acknowledge I might have a problem :p

    Same here - just another bad habit that needs kicking into touch. My life just seems to be a succession of things I have to stop doing... At least i can enjoy my privilege (for now!)

    Just a mild suggestion: Don't stop. You seem like a smart, decent guy: You should hang around, and join in.

    Learn to recognize that chemical rush you mentioned, and stop before you hit post. Read again, think more, post something less polemical, something that fosters communication or connection.

    There could be a chemical rush from that, too, ya never know. ;)

    Thanks! There is a chemical rush but it's just a lot slower than the instant gratification from drugs/alcohol/sugar/internet drama.. Slowing it all down and regulating the dopamine (is it dopamine) flow seems to be the catch all for all of it.

    What I've noticed is that I get 'triggered' when people use the word privilege to suggest that someone has achieved the results in their life because of privilege when that person in fact has made very touch choices, gone without, swapped instant for delayed gratification and worked very hard to get what they want out of life.

    My observation is that the word privilege has been so badly abused that it's now just an object of ridicule (just watch South Park). What I'm seeing is myself now is a tendency to get triggered which I will work through, in future if I see a thread about body positivity in a diet and fitness forum I'll think 'Yeah that's gonna be a doozy..' and not even open it up.