Dad Jokes/Bad Jokes...

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  • beastier
    beastier Posts: 1,908 Member
    The people in Dubai never watch the flinstones.
    But the people in Abu Dhabi do
  • tinuz
    tinuz Posts: 1,123 Member
    Where does Captain Hook go for replacements??

    The Second Hands Shop
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,680 Member
    We need to uninstall 2020 and reinstall it ...

    The current version has a nasty virus
  • tinuz
    tinuz Posts: 1,123 Member
    No one in Antarctica has Covid-19.....

    thats because they're ice-o-lated
  • beastier
    beastier Posts: 1,908 Member
    tinuz wrote: »
    No one in Antarctica has Covid-19.....

    thats because they're ice-o-lated

    Jesus
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,680 Member
    Post Malone has cancelled his tour....

    He has now changed his name to PostPone Malone
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,680 Member
    I was wondering why I heard music coming from my printer ....

    Turns out the paper was jamming
  • renydo2
    renydo2 Posts: 2,153 Member
    What do frogs drink?

    Diet croak



    What does a mean chicken lay?

    Deviled eggs
  • drmwc
    drmwc Posts: 1,141 Member
    What car did Pavarotti drive?

    The Nissan Dormer.
  • my_gatorgirl_8
    my_gatorgirl_8 Posts: 125 Member
    What do you wear that can be seen, but when you take it off it disappears?


    Your weight
  • drmwc
    drmwc Posts: 1,141 Member
    edited October 2020
    I will build a tent with flashing lights in my garden this December.

    Now is the winter of my disco tent.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    FeelinFooFoo wrote: »
    Why do squirrels swim on thier backs ?

    To keep thier nuts dry 😊

    :D
  • iMago
    iMago Posts: 8,714 Member
    i got the flu shot last week and it made me artistic.
  • s131951
    s131951 Posts: 3,776 Member
    FeelinFooFoo wrote: »
    What did the cheese say to get the bear down from the tree ??

    C'mon bear !

    Being a fromager of some repute, I nearly disagreed with this. I thought cheddar of it. *kitten*! Look at what you've done to me. My career is over.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,510 Member
    What did the cheese say to get the bear down from the tree ??

    "Bears really don't belong in trees. You should probably come down from there before you hurt yourself or someone else."


    * I only associate with rational cheese.
  • piggy_smalls
    piggy_smalls Posts: 1,773 Member
    What do you call it when you drift in a Tesla?

    The Electric Slide
  • s131951
    s131951 Posts: 3,776 Member
    FeelinFooFoo wrote: »
    What does a nosey pepper do ? It gets jalapeño business !

    That's hot all the way to Scoville.
  • cowsfan12
    cowsfan12 Posts: 6,680 Member
    How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas??

    He felt his presents
  • piggy_smalls
    piggy_smalls Posts: 1,773 Member
    My wife asked, "you're not evening listening to me, are you?"

    That's a weird way to start a conversation.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    Did ya hear about the italian chef?

    He pasta way

    :#
  • mytyglotz
    mytyglotz Posts: 1,855 Member
    I have nothing but chuckles and laughter to contribute here, but I must ask a question that's been burning in my mind since first reading this thread:

    Where on Earth do you all find these jokes??

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