The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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2-1/2 years AF. It has gone away a lot for me. Sometimes I go days, other times weeks without thinking about it. But I don't hang around in bars or cigar lounges like I used to either. My friends don't seem to care and even when they drink around me, my thoughts are mostly "I'm glad I don't drink anymore". Pluses, I'm down over 50 lbs, no impulse eating or drinking, time to exercise and eat right, no blackouts or wondering what I did the night before. Life is MUCH better without it.
Very inspiring. I like the way you don't think about alcohol much. I know that I had to change my habits and hangout places when I was completely sober, so I went to the gym instead of the bar. That was so helpful.3 -
Hi from Maryland. Our governor has taken this seriously and everything is pretty much buttoned up. I personally know 3 people with it, 2 sisters in their late 20's and early 30s and their dad. The one is a flight attendant so God knows who all else got it before she found out and stopped working. Stay safe, social distance and make good choices.4
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Hi to all hope everyone is finding things getting easier for those struggling. I just wanted to thank everyone here for the support. Tomorrow will be 1 yr since I quit beer all together. Cant really believe I did it but its done. I have nothing to compare stats wise other than 35 beer bubbly pounds gone. But Im sure Im in a better position and my liver thanks me. Gone are also the miserable hangovers. Dont miss it.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!4 -
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I'm still finding my relationship with alcohol. That relationship has both "drink less" periods practicing moderation and AF periods.
The best parts
Not wasting a weekend day on a hangover!
Not worrying about driving/DD/leaving a car/Uber
Saves money
Saves calories
More control
Better memory of fun times
The hardest parts:
Problem: so many social things involve booze.
Solution: if you don't talk about it, usually no one cares if it's booze or soda water. Any mention tends to make people defensive. It's less enjoyable once people start getting wasted, but the value goes down then too. Go anyway! (When you are able to control yourself)
Problem: Alcohol was my only real treat. I don't like soda, juice much, or many sweets/desserts. If I want something special to taste, it's alcohol.
Solutions:
1. enjoying the day is treat enough
2. Less/no alcohol has somewhat increased my sweet tooth. Splurging on a piece of pizza or dessert is still less calories than a drink or 6.
3. "Special" NA drinks. Soda water with fresh squeezed citrus (I squeeze a bunch and save in ice cube trays), virgin mojitos, Fre Brut with oj is indistinguishable from a real mimosa (5 person blind test), Ariel Cabernet (does NOT taste like normal wine but has deep dryish satisfying flavor, all of the antioxidants, and 150 calories a bottle 😮), Run Wild NA IPA (I wouldn't have known it was fake if you hadn't told me, but all 3 of us did pick it out in a blind test compared to a normal IPA. Far and away better than any na beer I've ever tried).
if more of these options were available out, I think I might be ready to pull the trigger on a 100% AF lifestyle.
Note on the wine/beer substitutes. My first break from alcohol in my adult life was 50+ days, and it was hard. About 30 days in, I tried the Ariel wine at a weekend getaway with friends. It wasn't enough for me to break my dry spell, but it seriously triggered cravings. My mind thought it was going to get the nice buzz from that taste, and it WANTED it. The last 2, month long breaks, I wasn't triggered at all by the substitutes. It was nice to have something nice to drink. Nice to look/feel part of the group. I highly suggest them only once you are no longer struggling with strong cravings.
I hope this helps some of you. I hope you don't mind me lurking even though I'm not completely on the wagon. I like reading your stories and your tips, and apply what makes sense. A lovely AF day to you 😘
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@lilawolf I really enjoyed your post!! I read it twice. Thanks for your thoughts
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@lilawolf Welcome to the group!! I stay away from any alcohol subs...if I can't have the real thing there is no substitute for moi. I think it would like jack any cravings and get me longing for the real deal. Can be helpful for others tho. Thanks for sharing.
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Good morning! My counselor told me about a book; I was wondering if any of you read it. "Quit like a Woman". https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/45434420-quit-like-a-woman0
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Hi Ruby, I have this book on hold at the library (although it could be a long while before it’s ready now...) I really like the author Holly Whittaker, she does the hip sobriety blog (now called Tempest, I believe). She is a strong, tells-it-like-it-is individual, I am looking forward to reading her book.1
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@RubRed427 Interesting article. Thank you for the link. The author refers to "the insidious role alcohol plays in our society, and in the lives of women in particular." When I think of the word insidious, sneaky (subtle) comes to mind, but I decided to look it up and it describes alcohol quite well. Insidious according to Dictionary.com means (1) "intended to entrap or beguile" (2) "stealthily treacherous or deceiptful" and/or (3) "operating or proceeding in an inconspicuous manner or seemingly harmless way, but actually with grave effect." BINGO!! Need I say more....N...O!!!3
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@lilawolf Thank you for those very useful tips and insights! I will definitely refer back to this. As some of you know, I started with a dietitian in February, but my whole diet, and worst, being AF, has gone off the rails with the stress of this wretched virus keeping us all from work and play. I am getting back on track today. Will go for a long walk in the woods and a meadow near here, eat well and stay AF. A good friend and I updated our mantra from "one day at a time" to "one urge at a time." At this point, that's about all I can manage. Good luck to those hurting out there from all this.10
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((hug)) Jen, this is an unbelievable time in our lives that's for sure, wow sometimes I have to shake my head and realize this is REALLY going on, it ain't no dream!5
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Keeping you all in my thoughts during these stressful times. I just passed the one year AF mark and knowing that I wasn't alone in this struggle has helped me immensely. So easy to go off path in times like this, but I remind myself of what a liar alcohol is. One urge at a time is pure gold, thanks JenT!9
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RubyRed427 wrote: »Good morning! My counselor told me about a book; I was wondering if any of you read it. "Quit like a Woman". https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/45434420-quit-like-a-woman
Hi @RubyRed427, I read that book when it came out and I posted a little info about it in this thread back in January. I will just include it here. Let me know if you decide to read it!VeggieGirlforLife wrote: »
I'm popping in today to give a book recommendation. I just finished reading a new book, Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol by Holly Whitaker. There is some really good information in this book if you can get past language and politics if those things bother you. I personally have not had as wild of a life as Holly or used recreational drugs, but many of the things she mentioned just about drinking I could relate to. I also have read posts on this board which correlate to some of the things she talks about, so I thought some of you might like this book. She talks a lot about the marketing of alcohol and how we've all been programmed to believe it's part of life - a rite of passage. How Big Alcohol is like Big Tobacco. All very good points. She offers some reasons why AA doesn't work for everyone and discusses why other avenues are still good options for leaving alcohol behind. We're not all supposed to be lumped into a category of an alcoholic or a "normal drinker." There is a lot of gray area she covers.
There's a lot more to say about this book and I did skim the end of the book because I've been AF over a year now and didn't feel she was giving me any new info about how to live without alcohol. There's been some criticism for the way she sounds like an entitled white girl who can afford the luxury of therapy, massages, yoga, etc. I think you have to look at it as suggestions for filling up the time that alcohol used to rob from you and not focus on what she spends on her new rituals. It's pretty easy to find low cost ways to entertain and nurture yourself, so I feel like that's a non issue.
Anyway, if any of you read this book and would like to discuss, please let me know! Oh and don't let the title discourage you gentlemen, you can skip the feminism parts of the book and still glean some good information.
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Hi There! I dusted off my blue book (AA) and just randomly opened it. It resonates so much... only an alcoholic would know the way I am feeling.5
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page 188 "The next question they asked was "You can quit twenty-four hours, can't you?" But like Jen said the other day, I'm trying to beat one urge at a time.
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https://smartrecovery.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/CBA_Worksheet.pdf?_ga=2.114799232.649238867.1585840145-569625487.1585840145
Here is a link to a pdf called Decision Making worksheet/cost benefit analysis from Smart Recovery toolkit. When I filled this out all the advantages for drinking were all short term..... Most of the disadvantages of drinking (costs and risks) were long term for me. It was eye opening for me to fill this out. Hope it can help someone.4 -
helps me Ruby for sure.......esp during these times.........Im hanging in there, matter of fact , it was 2 years ago near Easter that I stopped.....thanks for the link7
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Good morning Friends. I know so many are stressed, jobless, worried etc. It is hard to be positive at a time like this. We all know alcohol would offer a small time of relief but many many hours of regret and anxiety. It is just not worth it. I wish you all good health and peace.6
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I hope everyone is managing during all the stress. Like it wasnt hard enough. Alcohol sales up 55% so says the article I read. Troubling but true probably. Hope everyone can push through and find inner peace.7
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Good morning! Here is a good excerpt to think about for today. It's from Belle who is the author of the website and book "Tired about thinking about drinking." She posts someone's message in her daily email.
Hopeful62 (Day 155): "Yes, it's such a relief to know that i don't have some huge character flaw. I think the constant self-loathing and hopelessness was the worst part about over-drinking. I wouldn't judge someone else with a brain that misfired, so how can I judge myself? Knowledge and management seem key to living AF.
And treats for sure! It never occurred to me that fresh tulips or a music subscription could be a treat! I was so fixated on that wine bottle. Ironically, even though we are stuck at home, i feel much more free than I did a year ago. Hugs, Hopeful62"6 -
I hope everyone is managing during all the stress. Like it wasnt hard enough. Alcohol sales up 55% so says the article I read. Troubling but true probably. Hope everyone can push through and find inner peace.
I must say when I heard they might close liquor stores around here, my thought was "OMG I better and go get vodka!!" I didn't of course. Because I know if it is here, I will eventually drink it.
For anyone new to this thread, this video means so much to me. (8 min. long). Craig Ferguson's monologue on his drinking.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kI-BhQGwDO8 3 -
I hear you @RubyRed427. Been scouring online for recipes. Kids told me they are sick of eating the same things. They cant be sick of it more than I am of cooking it. I found a recipe for coq a vin looks really good. Unfortunately it calls for half a bottle of wine. Its funny what can be a trigger. Even tho beer was my thing. Not sure with all the stress that I wouldn't finish that other half. Its off the new menu. It has to be. I know It wouldn't stop there.
Wishing everyone a better week.4 -
AF for 1 year, 1 day. It's helped me in many ways. Don't miss it and hope I don't ever go back to it.9
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nighthawk584 wrote: »AF for 1 year, 1 day. It's helped me in many ways. Don't miss it and hope I don't ever go back to it.
YAY...Congrats!!! I don't miss it either and, like you, NEVER ever want to go back!!
@RubyRed427 Thanks for the Craig Ferguson video once again...I love his honesty & humility! "If I could drink I would drink, but I can't..." and "I don't have a drinking problem, I have a thinking problem" YUP!!
Hope everyone is healthy and staying put!! Hoping the best for ALL 5 -
Alcohol and drug free since Jan 2nd 2013. Congrats to everyone on the same journey.8
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Great to see you @FeelingFooFoo hope everyone is doing well, such strange times💗5
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Hi Foo! Welcome! We are glad to see you! Much love and support to all in these trying times.6
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Good morning all! @FeelinFooFoo Nice to see you!! Just take one day at a time. It's nice your partner is rooting for you too.
Today is Good Friday. For nearly my whole life, we've gone to my Dad's church for a service and dinner afterwards. Although we are all social distancing, I still have those beautiful memories of a family tradition.8
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