The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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Today's thought on the Alcohol Experiment: "The strongest trees grow in the strongest winds, not in the best soil." I love this. We grow through adversity and everyone here has been through some adversity or we wouldn't have wound up on this thread. Every human life faces challenges. It is how we rise up to meet them that matters. I am done numbing away the bad things because it also numbs away the beautiful. It is not a sacrifice I am willing to make anymore.7
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Today I am celebrating!!
I am celebrating by feeling well, feeling like getting up and exercising, by feeling like being kind to my body.
The longer I go, the less I even think about it. However, I have zero patience for drunkenness. Others drinking does not bother me, but drunkenness really gets under my skin.
Maybe in the next six months I will learn more patience.12 -
Congratulations on six months! What a great milestone.
My oldest friend and ex drinking buddy just made the two year mark on sobriety. If he can do it, anyone can.7 -
Well done, @JenT304. In the Sober School course I just finished on August 16, Kate Bee does not ask participants to commit to not drinking long term but does ask them to quit for the 6 weeks of the course in order to experience sobriety for a significant period of time. The last week of the course, she asked about our future goals or plans. Mine personally is to reach Day 100, which will be Oct. 13. She said that of course we were welcome to decide the 6 weeks was over and we were going back to drinking. She only asked that we realize we would be doing just that--going back to where we were before the course. Not to some ideal world of moderation. She said that in the years she's been doing the course, she has never once met anyone who said they did it and then went on to a happy, healthy moderation lifestyle, and those she knows who are also in the sobriety "business" have said the same. Now, obviously these are people who have shelled out big bucks for her course, so in other words people who realized their drinking was a problem. It's this group that she says cannot expect to moderate successfully.
I hate that truth, but I believe it is in fact truth. I've done enough 30 and 45 days AF and then thought I could moderate to know that it definitely does not work for me. It's interesting that she claims not one person in her experience has gone from problem drinker to happily moderating drinker. It always becomes a problem again. I wish it were not so, but I believe it is. I do not identify myself as an "alcoholic." However, I know that I can't moderate. And even trying to do it--attempting to limit myself to x number of drinks on x days or whatever--takes up way too much mental real estate and seems to do nothing but repeat the hard part of sobriety (the beginning days) on an endless loop. No thank you.10 -
Today I am celebrating!!
I am celebrating by feeling well, feeling like getting up and exercising, by feeling like being kind to my body.
The longer I go, the less I even think about it. However, I have zero patience for drunkenness. Others drinking does not bother me, but drunkenness really gets under my skin.
Maybe in the next six months I will learn more patience.
It's my sixth month, too!!! Yay, us! I was just tired of the headaches in the morning for only a few minutes of pleasure. It had diminishing returns all around. I am just done, and it feels great. I've only just started logging my food and exercising about 2 weeks ago, and I've lost 8 lbs so far. I give sobriety a bit of credit.
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Hooray for both of you! Have a big celebration. You deserve it!!!!5
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@donimfp Thank you so much for the encouragement. I totally agree that trying to figure out when to drink, how much to drink, worrying about moderation etc DOES take up way too much real estate in our minds. OMG it is so much easier not to think about it at all! I know I would rather have none than one so that is the way it is going to be. None. Tomorrow is day 20 of TAE and I am not saying never but I am going to keep adding in as little as 3-5 days so it feels manageable once the 30 is up. Tonight my husband looked in fridge and said, "I thought I had one more beer in here from last night. Did you drink it?" I was like what the *&^%!" Of course I didn't drink it! I told you I was doing this challenge come Hell or high water and I am really insulted that you assume I took your G-D D-MNED beer!" Anyway he found the 3rd bottle in the trash and apologized profusely. I said, "you didn't even remember drinking it so I guess you don't recall enjoying it either." I was really irritated and that was the first time I snapped at him during this challenge. Usually my mood is steady now. BUT I was offended that he didn't believe in me enough to think I could finish the challenge without drinking at all. Well now he knows.8
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Well done, @JenT304. In the Sober School course I just finished on August 16, Kate Bee does not ask participants to commit to not drinking long term but does ask them to quit for the 6 weeks of the course in order to experience sobriety for a significant period of time. The last week of the course, she asked about our future goals or plans. Mine personally is to reach Day 100, which will be Oct. 13. She said that of course we were welcome to decide the 6 weeks was over and we were going back to drinking. She only asked that we realize we would be doing just that--going back to where we were before the course. Not to some ideal world of moderation. She said that in the years she's been doing the course, she has never once met anyone who said they did it and then went on to a happy, healthy moderation lifestyle, and those she knows who are also in the sobriety "business" have said the same. Now, obviously these are people who have shelled out big bucks for her course, so in other words people who realized their drinking was a problem. It's this group that she says cannot expect to moderate successfully.
I hate that truth, but I believe it is in fact truth. I've done enough 30 and 45 days AF and then thought I could moderate to know that it definitely does not work for me. It's interesting that she claims not one person in her experience has gone from problem drinker to happily moderating drinker. It always becomes a problem again. I wish it were not so, but I believe it is. I do not identify myself as an "alcoholic." However, I know that I can't moderate. And even trying to do it--attempting to limit myself to x number of drinks on x days or whatever--takes up way too much mental real estate and seems to do nothing but repeat the hard part of sobriety (the beginning days) on an endless loop. No thank you.
INTERESTING Post...I firmly believe that there is no moderation for moi EVER...and I don't identify as an alcoholic either, BUT I do know I have a problem moderating alcohol and I have an addictive personality and that is all the identification I need to stay with my AF lifestyle.4 -
@lorrainequiche59 You are a big source of inspiration for me personally. I am so proud of you for having 2 plus years under your belt. Like you, it has finally sunk in there is no moderation for me. Even if I could, why would I want to put ANY poison in my body? Did I want to moderate with cigarettes? No, I wanted to quit because even a little smoking is detrimental to my health. I have come to look at alcohol the same way.5
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Good Morn
I've been reading Gabor Mate's book on addiction and read an interesting point that I'd like to share here. It is in relation to dopamine's (the feel-good chemical in our brains) role in addiction, any addiction, food, sex, alcohol but in this section he highlights drug use. "Environmental cues associated with drug use ~ paraphernalia, people, places, and situations ~ are all powerful triggers for repeated use and for relapse, because they themselves trigger dopamine release. People trying to quit smoking, for example, are advised to avoid poker if they are used to having a cigarette while playing cards. Unless they move to a different area of town or to a recovery home, my Downtown Eastside patients find it virtually impossible to stop drug use, even when they form a strong intention to do so. Not only are drugs readily available, but everything and everyone in the environment reminds them of their habit."
Then further on in the chapter he writes, "Dopamine activity also accounts for a curious fact reported by many drug addicts: that obtaining and preparing the substance gives them a rush, quite apart from the pharmaceutical effects that follow drug injection. "When I drew up the syringe, wrap the tie, and clean my arm, it's like I'm already feeling a hit." Celia, the pregnant woman described in Chapter Six, once told me. Many addicts confess that they're as afraid of giving up the activities around drug use as they are of giving up the drugs themselves."
This applied to my use of alcohol...driving home from work and taking a detour to the wine shop made me feel almost giddy, (this was in spite of my post-morning resolve not to drink that day lol) going in & selecting my bottle (s), having a laugh with a familiar cashiers about it being my 2nd home, anticipating pouring my wine when I arrived home, impatient to get there...then picking out my glass, uncorking the wine and the first pour and first sip...Ahhhhhhh!!! My temporary relief was on it's way, BUT the entire lead-up to the drink gave me a rush of anticipation....like my relief is coming....phew!! I am certain that everyone in this space can relate to this.
For ME, avoiding people, places & situations that involve drinking is vital in my continued work on my sobriety. Although difficult initially to stop associating with my drinking buddies to drink and trying to carve out a different relationship with them while sipping fizzy water or tea, I soon learned who my true friends are and who my drinking buddies were...I cannot get complacent if I want to remain AF. Not that I am never around alcohol or I never am around the people I used to drink with, but I am rarely in those scenarios...My lifestyle is different now....not drinking is my lifestyle, so I am no longer attracted to that scene, but it has been hard won and will be a continual work in progress but the benefits of being AF are now my dopamine hit. 8 -
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@lorrainequiche59 I Can totally relate to the part about the building up to the drink. The feel of the cork being pulled out of the bottle. Smelling the wine. Pouring it in a pretty glass. I get that completely. Someone on The Alcohol Experiment said they enjoy tart cherry juice in their wine glass now. I just bought some. It is supposed to be very good for you but it was almost as expensive as a cheap bottle of wine. Oh well. I am saving a lot more than money right now so I feel more than OK to indulge.5
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I'm also enjoying the ritual of coming home from work to a nice drink of grapefruit juice, tonic, Perrier, and lime. My husband has it ready for me. He used to have a vodka and Perrier ready and the drinking began. But the ritual itself is nice. I'm trying to find other satisfying non-alcoholic drinks. I ordered the High Rhodes from Kin Euphorics but am not a fan. I like bitter things, but it was way too bitter for me--I felt like I was drinking sandalwood, even when I mixed it with tonic or juice. The search continues. I've ordered from Curious Elixirs so am anxious to see if one of the 4 flavors is a winner.
Anyway, I take the point that the ritual around the drink is as satisfying, or almost, as the drink itself.8 -
I drank 5 NA beers last night. When I was drinking, I would never drink beer unless it was the last thing available. So I thought, was I looking for the buzz? I am not sure. Anyway I won't do that again. I don't want it to lead me to a real one. Plus even though they are only 70 calories apiece that's still 350 empty calories. I don't need that. I DID try the cherry juice and it is delicious but almost as many calories per glass as wine unless I cut it with seltzer, which I will start doing. I'm going to an antique store today to look for a pretty glass that is just for me and my NA fancy drinks.5
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Today I am celebrating!!
I am celebrating by feeling well, feeling like getting up and exercising, by feeling like being kind to my body.
The longer I go, the less I even think about it. However, I have zero patience for drunkenness. Others drinking does not bother me, but drunkenness really gets under my skin.
Maybe in the next six months I will learn more patience.
Congratulations!!5 -
antiderivative wrote: »
Today I am celebrating!!
I am celebrating by feeling well, feeling like getting up and exercising, by feeling like being kind to my body.
The longer I go, the less I even think about it. However, I have zero patience for drunkenness. Others drinking does not bother me, but drunkenness really gets under my skin.
Maybe in the next six months I will learn more patience.
It's my sixth month, too!!! Yay, us! I was just tired of the headaches in the morning for only a few minutes of pleasure. It had diminishing returns all around. I am just done, and it feels great. I've only just started logging my food and exercising about 2 weeks ago, and I've lost 8 lbs so far. I give sobriety a bit of credit.
And congratulations to you too! Outstanding work ladies, everyone sounds really good,hope we all have a great AF day,6:37 am in Vegas another 24 💖6 -
I drank 5 NA beers last night. When I was drinking, I would never drink beer unless it was the last thing available. So I thought, was I looking for the buzz? I am not sure. Anyway I won't do that again. I don't want it to lead me to a real one. Plus even though they are only 70 calories apiece that's still 350 empty calories. I don't need that. I DID try the cherry juice and it is delicious but almost as many calories per glass as wine unless I cut it with seltzer, which I will start doing. I'm going to an antique store today to look for a pretty glass that is just for me and my NA fancy drinks.
Almost afraid to ask what kind? Used to love my beer.1 -
Congrats everyone on the milestones! Just came back from vaca and the thought crossed my mind more than once. Seems like it would go hand in hand palm trees sunny weather..I didn't.
I know my kids are proud of me. Even tho they dont say anything. Id be a real jerk to blow that. Thanks to you all for all your insight wont lie it keeps me going coming back here and reading it all.
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Forgot to add Im on the year and a half mark!9
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