The Sober Squad- Alcohol Free Living
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I have not figured out how to quote people properly and add my own words. I apologize to anyone I have mistakenly plagiarized.5
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Good morning friends! Wishing you a great day!
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@billyfallon1, that's ok! I was trying to remember when I ever auditioned for lyrics/singing. Believe me, that would NOT have been a pretty picture.
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Quiet here lately! I hope all is well with everyone. My husband found a Joe Walsh clipped that he played for me. It made me teary to know that he is trying to help me by showing me these things, but it also pains me to think of the hurt I have caused him when drunk. I have said mean things that I never remember. Here it is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I4HSC5sbwN8 5 -
Wow! Eye opening. Very riveting Jen. The only thing we can do (because we cannot rectify the past) is to proceed forward, staying sober, so we don't have to suffer wondering and worrying about what we said or did. Thanks for sharing! It helps me so much to see this video.6
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1,300 Days AF! That comes out to 3.5 years.
I feel so much better than I used to. It's really changed my life.
My weight is still a struggle, and I'm nursing a sugar addiction. That being said, I'm healthier and happier than ever before. I'm posting to let you know it does get easier.
Good luck to all you beautiful souls working to make yourselves better. If I can do it, you can do it. You're so much stronger than you know. 16 -
@JenT304 thank you for sharing!
I have watched other Joe Walsh interviews before. He is probably my favorite sober celebrity. I feel like he was likely on the rockiest of rock bottoms and recovered. Much respect.
As for saying things to your spouse -- oh boy the things I've said. I have said that my husband had to pay for the sins of those before him. I feel like I'm paying for my sins with him now... Alcohol addiction is VERY UGLY.6 -
A little victory
Today, I have been with a sick 14 month old. He has been running a fever, no other symptoms- just irritable. It has been 17 years since I’ve dealt with a sick baby.
After my daughter got home, I had to go to the pharmacy. I had a bottle of wine in hand and carried it for 50’ or so before abandoning it on a shelf.
I am proud of myself.10 -
@Beka3695 I am proud of you too! I can totally relate. My granddaughters are upstairs, STILL AWAKE and I am dead tired after taking care of them all day. A glass of wine would be nice but I would pay dearly at 2 am when they wake up, and in the morning while trying to make them breakfast. Not worth it.5
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Hello everyone. Day 4 for me...again. I've pretty much had AT LEAST a bottle of wine every day for the last 15 years with very few breaks when "trying to slow down" through the years. I've been getting progressively worse over the course of the last year or so including fixing drinks to leave in the car to drink on the way home from drinking (husband driving). The other day, I bought a little box of wine to drink on the way to my mom's because I didn't want to lose my buzz while I was visiting with her (she doesn't drink). Here I am...a fat, unhealthy, almost 50 year old alcoholic, and I don't like who I am.
So...I vowed to quit again on Monday. I stumbled on this thread last weekend and have been reading through it a few posts at a time and decided this is where I want to be to begin my journey. You guys are awesome!
Right now I'm going through the "depressed lost my best friend" phase plus I'm trying to figure out how to have fun without wine.
I'll get there. One day at a time, right?13 -
The main motivation for quitting is losing this darn weight...obviously since I'm on myfitnesspal...but one of the things that has been an added motivation is health. I wear a fitbit and have for years. In 4 days of abstinence, my Resting Heart Rate has dropped from ~80 to ~75 and my Heart Rate Variability has increased into the normal range for my age from 16 milliseconds to 36 milliseconds. That is crazy!9
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Somehow the topic of alcohol came up at dinner last night with my kids, six and ten. My six-year-old said he didn’t want to be an alcoholic. I told him, without shame or embarrassment, that neither did I, but I am and that’s why I don’t drink anymore.
It’s taken a long time to get to the point where I can admit that so non-negatively, but it feels good and I hope the impression is good for my kids’ futures and they don’t have to repeat my mistakes.9 -
I think being an alcoholic is similar in some ways to grieving for a lost loved one:
It’s like a rough stone tumbling down a creek. At first if you grab it, it gashes you and causes much distress and bloodletting. But as time goes on and the edges get smoothed out, eventually you can handle it and pull it in closer to your heart without causing so much pain.
It’s always there though and will never go away.7 -
Welcome @chicbuc ! You will find understanding, empathetic, and supportive people here. If you have read through some of the older comments, you will see many of us use other resources to get/stay sober. I highly recommend you sign up for the free 30 days sober challenge on thealcoholexperiment.com . It is tremendously helpful and there is also a forum where people share their experiences there. Many, if not most of us have done that. I would say that the most important thing you can do for yourself, even if you don't get sober the first (or 5th) time you try, is never give up trying. We are happy to have you here!6
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Welcome @chicbuc ! It is not easy to stay sober, but it sure outweighs the consequences of drinking.
Today I was thinking to myself... besides my children, I love alcohol sooo much. I found that thought so absurd. But it's true.
So, even today, 7 months sober, I still miss it. I have not gotten to the stage of it being the best thing I've done; however, I do know that I would be fooling myself if I thought anything would change, if I would go back to drinking. I would slip right back to those bad habits, drunken texts, racing night heartbeats, hangovers and self loathing.
So, here I am- along with all of you wonderful people, staying the course one day at a time and even one minute at a time.
Great job Beka! I am happy you put it back. WE always seems to regret drinking, but never regret not drinking.
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Somehow the topic of alcohol came up at dinner last night with my kids, six and ten. My six-year-old said he didn’t want to be an alcoholic. I told him, without shame or embarrassment, that neither did I, but I am and that’s why I don’t drink anymore.
It’s taken a long time to get to the point where I can admit that so non-negatively, but it feels good and I hope the impression is good for my kids’ futures and they don’t have to repeat my mistakes.
I think it's great you have open dialogue with your kids. It's so important for kids to know they can tell you anything on their mind.
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I went to dinner with a friend; she's an amazing friend. We didn't speak about alcohol even though she knows I quit. When the waitress came up to us, my friend ordered an iced tea. I know she did that on my behalf. That was such a sweet gesture.
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@RubyRed427 That's a great friend. I have a good friend I go to dinner with a few times a month, and the only time she drinks is with me. Won't she be happy when I order a hot tea. LOL.4
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Joe Walsh is great! I have watched a few interviews with him; he says he can't remember all the touring - he was always drunk, so after they broke up as a band.... they said to him "You have to be sober if we tour again." He said "no problem" He said he needed something to live for- to make him sober.
I think that's probably right for all of us. When the cost or pain of being drunk becomes too much to bear, we will stay sober.
Have a great day!5 -
I get those every once in a while and also find them difficult to deal with. Strong work staying the path!5
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I too enjoy that strategy!5
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Jumping in because I need to. I'm married to an overweight alcoholic who smokes a pack of cigarettes a day, maybe he'll stretch it out to two days but usually every 45-60 minutes he's outside puffing. The cigarettes and alcohol are great companions to each other and he's a nasty, hateful, controlling drunk to me. It's unbelievably hard. I would not wish what I go through, how I am treated, on anyone. It's horrible...9
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@Elcee2020 I am glad you felt the courage to post here. Admitting there is a problem is the first step. Asking for help is the second. We are here for you. If you have followed this thread for a while, you know we are an empathetic and non judgemental group of friends.
You probably do feel sick as alcohol is a toxic substance. There is no getting around it. You will continue to feel better both physically and mentally as it leaves your system. If you are worried about your liver or other organs, perhaps seeing a dr will put your mind at ease. I myself drink liver detox tea nearly every night. I don't know if it is doing any good but it makes me feel better emotionally to think I may be undoing some of the damage. Plus I take milk thistle daily as a supplement. If you can't get to the gym try to get a vigorous walk in daily. It will do you a world of good.
Please let us know how you are doing and check in often. Every post here is a valuable piece of our community.5 -
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@Elcee2020 Welcome back! I remember you fondly. We are here for you. Drinking heavily or binging can make us feel ashamed. But you are not entirely at fault. The brain chemistry has changed and you. need more alcohol for the same dopamine kick. Anyway, you are brave and I hope you come around often.
@LoveyChar I'm so sorry. That sounds like a nightmare; you never know whether it will be good day or not. Walking on eggshells. I cannot give you advice but I do know that when I decided to change my life (marriage), I said to myself, "can I live like this for the rest of my life?" And my answer was no. I want happiness. I want peace. My home should be a sanctuary.
Since I don't know your situation, I don't know what to say, except, I hope you find some peace and happiness soon. You deserve it.
p.s. Can you reach out to a therapist or even Al-Anon for some help so you own't feel isolated? There are many people out there who know what you are going through.6 -
Jumping in because I need to. I'm married to an overweight alcoholic who smokes a pack of cigarettes a day, maybe he'll stretch it out to two days but usually every 45-60 minutes he's outside puffing. The cigarettes and alcohol are great companions to each other and he's a nasty, hateful, controlling drunk to me. It's unbelievably hard. I would not wish what I go through, how I am treated, on anyone. It's horrible...
My aunt lived something similar to what you're living with. IT Never got better; but it got progressively worse. And sadly, because she stayed, her sons saw this example and modeled it (in their father).
Does he ever say that he should cut back? Does he feel remorse or regret?3 -
@Elcee2020 The liver can regenerate - so try to cut back little by little. Find support in your friends if you can. I know you love to exercise; jump back into that. 5
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@RubyRed427 That's a great friend. I have a good friend I go to dinner with a few times a month, and the only time she drinks is with me. Won't she be happy when I order a hot tea. LOL.
I'm sure she will follow your lead 4
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