Less Alcohol - MAY 2021 - One Day At A Time
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Take 3!! This is my third attempt today to write a post without being interrupted.
Well, May is a tough month for me with the anniversary of the passing of my mum on the 2nd May, Mother's Day without my kids (living interstate) followed by mum's birthday on the 29th May. I've decided to keep my goals achievable this month.
My goals for the rest of the month is to have two AF days per week, log in my diary each day & try to be kinder to myself. Why is it we can offer support to others, but be so unforgiving & critical of ourselves?8 -
Happy Monday! This is going to be a great week. Today I work on emptying out my cluttered head (over my to-do limit) and focus on bringing all the positive energy towards me.
Easier said than done, right??
Regarding losing the self-criticism: I had chocolate yesterday and zero guilt because it was not much. REALLY important step to success is losing the guilt because it does nothing, zilch, in fact it sinks lots of people further into bad places.
Welcome and embrace setbacks and failures, it is part of the normal process...in fact, the more setbacks one has, the more opportunities to learn from them and like me, you may get to a point where you get just plain fed up and you push through.....yep
Regarding the desire to drink the day after AF: I know I sound like a broken record but after 2 years - yes 2- of trying to alternate drinking days w/AF days the only thing that worked for me was putting in a long stretch of AF (2 months) and that got rid of the voice in my head harassing me for wine at 5pm. Now I do not think of drinking the day after a drinking day, not at all. This was the method I needed to "re-set" and "re-program" my brain. How long an AF stretch is needed varies by person but generally I read the longer the better.
AF 9/9 days
CF-2/9 (chocolate-free)
Make it a great week full of happiness and positivity......!4 -
Day 15 of the 75 day challenge I mentioned earlier. So far its been pretty good. Was tempted this weekend but stayed AF. I think triggers are obviously when around friends who are drinking, but one other one that I noticed was the reward mentality. I did good, so I deserve one drink. But then I remember the challenge and am able to control it.
Also earlier I would not be able to control if I knew I had alcohol in this house. But for the past month I have had both beer and liquor of my choice in the house and havent been tempted to get that drink in the evening to relax.
Also its been great reading the successes and stories here that are really motivating and supportive. Good work everyone! This is my fav thread on MFP...7 -
5/1 - 5/7: 7 drinks, 4 AF days
5/8: 3 drinks
5/9: 2 drinks
Had dinner out with friends on Saturday. 3 drinks over 3 hours. A couple of the guys were hitting it pretty hard and kept ordering beer after beer, but I found it pretty easy to drink a lot of water instead of chugging the beers down with them.
Braced myself for a mega shoe shopping trip on Sunday. Started off by returning my shoes I purchased last weekend, and the running store had just set up a display of Saucony Kinvara 12s that weren't there last time. Those were on my "try-on" list, and sure enough, they were pretty great. They need to be broken in, but I think they'll work. And they came in black. I'm not a bright-colored running shoe person. I love black.
@Lilylady3k That is an AMAZING brunch spread, I really want to try those quiches!5 -
1 glass of wine with pizza this evening.4
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My May Goals:
16-20 AF days per month.
Changing my goals as my schedule is changing, but sticking to the 16-20 AF days.
My daily check in:
Saturday May 01 - AF - Working a split tomorrow at the restaurant.
Sunday May 02 - AF - Planning on AF until Thursday
Monday May 03 - AF - Early and long day tomorrow, going to try not to have a wee drink afterward.
Tuesday May 04 - 2 drinks. I didn't make it my 5AF in a row this week like I did the 2 or 3 previous weeks.
Wednesday May 05 - AF - I had planned to have drinks tomorrow, Thursday, but since I had 2 last night I am re-evaluating.
Thursday May 06 - 2 drinks. Planned drinks with friends outside tomorrow too. We'll see how I feel after my 1st vaccine of course.
Friday May 07 - Drinks. No side effects from the Pfizer vaccine : - ) Planned AF until at least Tuesday.
Saturday May 08 - AF
Sunday May 09 - AF - Super happy that I was AF last night, turns out I needed to be sharp. I was scheduled 12-3 at the restaurant, ended up staying until 5, went for a hike with quite a bit of elevation, and then went back to work because it was so super busy, like all restaurants are for Mother's Day. We have take-out only in most parts of Canada. Nobody wants Mom's to have to cook today, regardless if it is out for a sit down dinner or takeout. Happy Mother's Day to all, those who have kids and everyone else, because we all had/have Mothers.
Monday May 10 - AF - Early and possibly long work day tomorrow, easy to be AF tonight. I might have a couple of drinks tomorrow night, we'll see.
Rolling total: 7AF out of 10 days4 -
"Taking a break" or having an alcohol free substantial streak, week or month(s) does not mean I have become a non drinker for life. While getting back out in life again socializing this Spring of 2021, it seems I am having to explain my lack of drunk'n party mode.
While most others in my local friend circle took the opposite trail during the pandemic and increased their drinking. They are now tossed back into the scene going at tipping the bottle even more than before 2020.
Moderation and accountability to myself I try to explain to them. I enjoy a drink now and again I say, but for today and tonight I am "taking a break".
I asked, "What is worse, sitting at home not drinking by myrself or out where there are people and socializing not drinking with them?" You should have seen the number of people scratching their heads trying to figure out what I just said. It was kinda amusing.
10/10 AF
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Hi all!
Whirlwind weekend - Kicked off with deliciousCinco de Mayo Margaritas at work after a long week. It was a lot of fun to order take out drinks and commiserate with my colleagues. I only had one, but I will say it was worth it!
Friday, my sister and BIL stayed with us to attend my MIL’s b-day BBQ party on Saturday, which we hosted. I worked early that morning and was sooooo exhausted at the start of the party. Normally I love to entertain, but I was at the point of “can’t you people just go home?” pretty early in the day. The 3 shots and 2 glasses of wine did not help. Spread out over 8 hours, but still, that’s a lot for me.
Which leads to Mother’s Day spent on the couch nursing a hangover. Hair of the dog did not help either.
So, now to dig out- clean the house again, and do mountains of laundry from our house guests and residual bedding from kids home from college last weekend.
I may need to modify my goals. As the summer months approach, and I’m out more, maybe instead of planning so many AF days during the week, which is a “soft” goal at best given recent weeks. my goal should be to limit myself to just one every day. Of course, that sends me back to being a daily drinker, but at least I’ll have less failure guilt for not maintaining AF for a few days during the week?
Too much to ponder, not enough coffee in me to tackle this AND the mountain of laundry.5 -
@dethstar77 great progress! and I see you mentioned "reward mentality" which I can relate to....in fact, it's human nature for people to reward themselves with something they enjoy. Drink rewards are easy, cheap, and accessible too.
In cognitive-behavioral psych, one of the principle keys to mastering any dependency including alcohol is giving oneself periodic rewards that are not alcohol related. This is how the brain gets re-trained to expect a different type of reward.
I myself am working hard at rewarding myself weekly with a small purchase or a special outing. This week it was a new mascara. If I don't do this routinely, I could start to feel a sense of deprivation which could lead me to a danger zone. So weekly rewards for me it is....
On the topic of alcohol in the house, I have beer in the closet and a huge bottle 18% asian rice wine that could send me to the moon but neither interest me. My weakness is around "specific" brands of wine and if I had those in my fridge, I could get very tempted, so yep, I don't stock any. Creating the right environment for success is also key.6 -
@Womona I have faith in you...you remind me of myself....I need to get that laundry delegated to others, work on getting my positive mindset boosted and get me some non-drink rewards.
I really hate laundry5 -
Take 3!! This is my third attempt today to write a post without being interrupted.
Well, May is a tough month for me with the anniversary of the passing of my mum on the 2nd May, Mother's Day without my kids (living interstate) followed by mum's birthday on the 29th May. I've decided to keep my goals achievable this month.
My goals for the rest of the month is to have two AF days per week, log in my diary each day & try to be kinder to myself. Why is it we can offer support to others, but be so unforgiving & critical of ourselves?
Two AF days per week sounds achievable and reasonable.
We are here to drink less. Some have moved over to the sober thread, some have found their sweet spot, some are just starting or experimenting with what will work best for them.
Welcome : - )4 -
5/1 - 5/7: 7 drinks, 4 AF days
5/8: 3 drinks
5/9: 2 drinks
5/10: AF
First AF day after 3 days in a row of drinking, and I spent a good half of my evening post-gym thinking about having a drink. I'm debating going on a "schedule" of drinks on Fridays and Saturdays with one weeknight being optional (i.e. weeknight happy hour with friends now that such things are possible again), because 3 nights in a row seems to make the cravings worse.
@MissMay My friends and I talked about our pandemic alcohol usage. My husband and my BFF admitted to drinking more, BFF's girlfriend and my other friends didn't change their drinking, and I was the only one who cut back. BFF was like "Who decides to stop drinking during a pandemic?!" and "How do you guys deal with one of you drinking and the other one not??" (Obviously I am still drinking, just not daily, and apparently that's hard to deal with?) Those who have been drinking more or were already pretty heavy drinkers are now able to indulge their habits with other people, and you not behaving like them brings out confusion because how could you NOT want a drink or 5?
@Womona never do hair of the dog! At best, it will shift your hangover to later because it will numb your senses, but it just gives your liver a heavier load to process, and it doesn't help to rehydrate you. For your goals, is setting a weekly or monthly drink limit too broad? Instead of max 1 drink per day, maybe 7 drinks per week would give you some flexibility, which it sounds like you need?
General tips regarding hangovers: if you're getting a hangover despite drinking at a slow pace (1 drink per hour or less) and you're hydrating properly, take a look at what you're drinking. Mass-produced wine and cheap liquor are usually the worst offenders. Most of your big-name grocery store wines (Barefoot, Yellow Tail, etc.) do everything possible to make sure their wine tastes the same year to year no matter the growing conditions, so they put in a ton of additives. I'm very sensitive to them, and a single glass of Barefoot will make me feel like death the next day. Cheap liquor may not be as purified as higher-end liquor, or it may also have additives.
I don't mind laundry, but I also tend to forget about it, and it ends up taking me 3 days to do four loads. My husband? He puts on a four-hour sports car race and bangs it out. He's amazing. He also does the dishes every single night, even if he cooked. He hauls the trash to the dumpster. He cleans up after the cat. I'm so bad at all those domestic duties, and he just takes care of all of it without ever complaining. My tip: train your husbands8 -
hello to all today
AF last night which was not easy for some reason, well other than the fact my throat is still very very sore.
I called my Dr. office and left a message, not sure what the course will be now. This is now a rolling 2.5 months of cough (post nasal drip), severe sore throat, fatigue, slightly runny nose. I do not have allergies LOL and no I don't want to be tested for covid. Both questions come up every time I walk through a Dr. office door. I am almost 63, I doubt I am developing allergies at my age.
Ok enough complaining. I would rather drink my wine than be the whiner
@chocolate_owl about friends and drinking. We are still in lockdown pretty much here but I noticed recently a 'friend' we use to have drinks with called about 2 months ago wanting to go out and when I told her I was not comfortable being in a gathering place she was shocked as well as I was not really drinking at this time, I was taking a break. Then we decided to meet at my home and she canceled. I have not heard from her since. So sad
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globalhiker wrote: »@dethstar77 great progress! and I see you mentioned "reward mentality" which I can relate to....in fact, it's human nature for people to reward themselves with something they enjoy. Drink rewards are easy, cheap, and accessible too.
In cognitive-behavioral psych, one of the principle keys to mastering any dependency including alcohol is giving oneself periodic rewards that are not alcohol related. This is how the brain gets re-trained to expect a different type of reward.
I myself am working hard at rewarding myself weekly with a small purchase or a special outing. This week it was a new mascara. If I don't do this routinely, I could start to feel a sense of deprivation which could lead me to a danger zone. So weekly rewards for me it is....
On the topic of alcohol in the house, I have beer in the closet and a huge bottle 18% asian rice wine that could send me to the moon but neither interest me. My weakness is around "specific" brands of wine and if I had those in my fridge, I could get very tempted, so yep, I don't stock any. Creating the right environment for success is also key.
@globalhiker That is very interesting and inspiring. I should think of another reward on the days that I feel like rewarding myself. I need to figure that one out. But a really great idea... Thank you.. Also have been keeping super busy at work and otherwise so that I dont have a lot of time to think about missing that drink..
Another thing I have noticed is that nowadays when I am a little down, I no longer think about getting a drink, I am thinking of what can I do stop feeling down or get occupied with something I like. These small changes that I am noticing are making me more optimistic about the path chosen.
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@lmlmrn
OMG, I can't believe that you are still going through this medical problem. Well, I mean, I believe it, but I don't like that you are still suffering from it.
Even if you got a Covid test, if it is a "long-haul" thing it might be a negative test anyway.
Sheesh, I hope some medical professional can figure it out for you!
Take a Covid test anyway, get tested for allergies anyway.
I really wish for you to be able to be over this.
Big Hugs4 -
@chocolate_owl
When I began this journey I was a daily drinker. Not many drinks per day because of my puke level, but still a couple after work each day.
Until I cut back, my "normal" felt, well, normal. I only realized how alcohol affected me after beginning to take some AF days. Be it just a little fuzzy, upset tummy, a bit of anxiety or other things - I really feel it now when I have drinks. (I also weigh a lot less)
Again, I never have many drinks. When I do lemon water and a good sweat sesh in the morning followed with some granola and oat milk, it usually fixes me up.
I had never thought about the quality of the alcohol. Food for thought. I stopped being able to drink any red wine about a year and a half ago - now that was a hangover. These were good wines, and even 3 oz (an experiment) made me very sick the next day, nothing that lemon water and a workout could fix.
I guess that if we are all going to have drinks once in awhile we have already saved lots of cash, so better to buy more quality stuff.
Always love your input.5 -
My May Goals:
16-20 AF days per month.
Changing my goals as my schedule is changing, but sticking to the 16-20 AF days.
My daily check in:
Saturday May 01 - AF - Working a split tomorrow at the restaurant.
Sunday May 02 - AF - Planning on AF until Thursday
Monday May 03 - AF - Early and long day tomorrow, going to try not to have a wee drink afterward.
Tuesday May 04 - 2 drinks. I didn't make it my 5AF in a row this week like I did the 2 or 3 previous weeks.
Wednesday May 05 - AF - I had planned to have drinks tomorrow, Thursday, but since I had 2 last night I am re-evaluating.
Thursday May 06 - 2 drinks. Planned drinks with friends outside tomorrow too. We'll see how I feel after my 1st vaccine of course.
Friday May 07 - Drinks. No side effects from the Pfizer vaccine : - ) Planned AF until at least Tuesday.
Saturday May 08 - AF
Sunday May 09 - AF - Super happy that I was AF last night, turns out I needed to be sharp. I was scheduled 12-3 at the restaurant, ended up staying until 5, went for a hike with quite a bit of elevation, and then went back to work because it was so super busy, like all restaurants are for Mother's Day. We have take-out only in most parts of Canada. Nobody wants Mom's to have to cook today, regardless if it is out for a sit down dinner or takeout. Happy Mother's Day to all, those who have kids and everyone else, because we all had/have Mothers.
Monday May 10 - AF - Early and possibly long work day tomorrow, easy to be AF tonight. I might have a couple of drinks tomorrow night, we'll see.
Tuesday May 11 - Drinks. Just in from work, but going to have a couple. Big big changes in my work schedules for 3 weeks starting next Monday.
Rolling total: 7AF out of 11 days4 -
2 glasses of red wine with steak dinner.4
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Well have an appointment with ENT Dr. tomorrow morning. Also had my 2nd covid shot and so far no side effects from it so far. Will keep you posted!
Running total 8 out of 10 days in May AF (tonight will make 9 out of 11)5 -
@lmlmrn hopefully tomorrow you can get a proper diagnosis of your sinus problem. Either a viral or a bacterial infection needs to be sorted out. Will be thinking of you.
Great to see you checking back in @Womona. The pressure of being social now seems so much more complicated during the drinking hours. If you find that even one drink daily is too much try the beautiful stemmed glass technique. You could be drinking creek water from a stemmed glass and no one would know.
@dethstar77 definitely the "reward" trigger is a strong one. It takes thinking ahead of the reward as to what the out come, consequences and feelings will be involved. Is it truely a reward or another step back I always ask myself. Good for you for being involved in more than one group on MFP.
@dawnbgethealthy and @globalhiker I can not wait until he two of you can meet in person and hang out.
@chocolate_owl I like what you said at the end of your post. Want A drink OR 5. My DH is taking being back with other peiple again to a new stupid level.7
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