Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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Ditto. How awful.pofoster21 wrote: »Original Poster who I will not identify for her sake, I'm glad I read it. I will reply with thoughts of my experience (and for those of you reading my experience is not at all the same, but something in what I'm saying may help her or someone else)
You have dealt with a lot. It does not matter what your orientation is in so far as what happened was in NO way, shape or form any fault of your own. At All. You are blameless. (HUGE HUGS). I am so sorry that you had the experiences you did.
**WARNING FOR THOSE WHO MIGHT BE TRIGGERED BY VIOLENCE - SKIP THE REST OF THIS POST PLEASE, THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS UPSET SOMEONE**
When I was 20 I met an acquaintance through a co-worker. He was a wealthy physician. He invited me to a barbecue. I was in no way attracted to him but I thought he was just being friendly and he was "known" so I said yes. I was drugged (the date rape drug) and have no recollection of what happened, but why would I be drugged if nothing happened?
The same year I was taken by two men in a situation where I thought there was a good chance I'd be killed and I was raped by one. I talked my way out of being raped by the second. I talked the first into a condom. I talked my way into being let go. I was shaken and I (kick myself for this one now) chalked it up to a hard learning experience and I moved on without reporting it and without telling anyone. Until 10 years later someone threatened by then 2 year old daughter. I took care of that situation IMMEDIATELY and have entirely put that person out of my life. I had flashbacks. I had nightmares. I sought counseling and was told I had PTSD. Counseling really helped me enormously. I reframed the incident so that I was strong and did everything I could to protect myself. I worked through the issues and I have not had issues since and that has been a number of years ago. Please seek counseling. Call the hotline number that you see for victims of ___ crimes even if you feel it does not apply to you because they can put you in touch with counselors. HUGE HUGE HUGS.
The first few counselors I saw were batty, find one you can work with. What happened does not define me nor do I think about it often. It is now just a tiny moment in time. You will get there. I believe in you and your bright future.
Oh my goodness. I am so sorry for this experience. I have nothing to say. Hugs.
Hugs to you, but mostly I'm heartened to read how this does not define you. You're one of the posters I look up to as being a particularly strong person, and reading this has made me have even more respect for you. I had my own nasty experience with a man and a lack of consent years ago (nowhere near as awful as what you described, but certainly illegal) and the thing I kicked myself about the most was the fact that I told no-one, even though there was a police van right outside where it happened so the opportunity was immediately there. Partly I didn't think anything could be done since I couldn't have positively IDed the guy, but mostly embarrassment, shame etc. Now I realise I had nothing to be embarrassed about. I am (and was) a confident and capable young woman, yet I didn't feel able/worthy of that policeman's time so I didn't bother him. How ridiculous. It reassures me that someone as clearly awesome at life as you can come from such a place and grow and get better. If this happened now, I know I would react differently. And I definitely wouldn't blame myself!
All this talk of sexual assault makes me wonder how many women have suffered this. I'll share my story that I have not talked about in many years. **IF YOU ARE BOTHERED BY ABUSE STORIES, STOP READING NOW! **
I was raped when I was 15, by my "boyfriend" and I was told I asked for it. I had indeed had a sexual relationship with this man (he was 22, and totally doing illegal stuff by dating me). One night I was at his house, and a bunch of his friends showed up, they were all drinking and smoking pot. I walked in the room and Steve said "hey ya'll want me to f*** her in front of ya'll? They all egged him on, and although I fought him, he forced me to the floor and ripped my clothes off and did what he wanted, it was awful, I was on my period at the time too, which made it seem much worse to me. I was crying and yelling at him to stop and all of a sudden, his younger brother came in and pulled him off me and beat the crap out of him. I was so thankful to him, yet so embarrassed and appalled at the other 4 guys in the room who sat there and did nothing while he was raping me right in front of them. Anyway, his brother took me home and went in the house with me to tell my dad what had happened, I was so impressed by him standing up against his brother to help me out. My dad was furious, but had the sense to call the sheriff and not take matters into his own hands. Anyway the Sheriff busted him for drug possession and a charge of statutory rape. I had been told by several people I asked for it and I refused to testify against him in court for this reason, I did not want anymore embarrassment. He ended up doing 3 years in prison for the drug charges and that was it. After I was married I ran into him in the grocery store where I was working one day and had a panic attack. It was a small town, and my boss asked him to leave the store after managing to get me to tell him what had happened. He was then not welcome in our store. That was OH so long ago, and I have not let it define me for sure.
Wow, that is an absolutely horrifying thing to go through. I am so, so sorry. I'm so glad someone there was willing to help you...I can't believe that many others could seriously sit and watch. You're very brave..good for you for not letting it define you. Hug, hugs, and more hugs.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »Okay, it arrived. I admit I ordered the small thinking that was appropriate for women...its a tad bit tiny (only in 2nd hole) but thinking that is a good reminder to keep weight off! Losing weight in my wrists was definitely a plus. I love seeing my wrist bones.
Charging now.
When I got my HR, I thought the small was going to be too little too. Luckily I have small wrists, but I don't think I am going to lose much there.0 -
Yay @pofoster21 for the Fitbit delivery!0
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wow LOLKelll12123 wrote: »I ate over half a carton of ice cream in one sitting last week
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raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »I put a tv in my daughter's room when she was about 2, so I wouldn't have to listen to Blues Clues, Barney, etc. The deciding factor on that decision was when she got a vhs of The Lion King and insisted on watching it over and over and over. We could all repeat almost the entire movie word for word.
I am a terrible person.
Nah, we have a tv and DVD player in Raelynn's room because she loves to have the same movie on repeat. She watches Doc McStuffins or Sofia the First in the living room since that's the only TV hooked up to cable, but that's about it now. She has to have her tv on when she's asleep, so that's usually when she watches movies. Bad mommy, I know..
Not a bad mommy at all. On nights I am super tired I send my little man off to bed with his DVD player instead of reading him a bed time story.0 -
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Thinking about buying a new outfit for the concert tomorrow night (eep!), but I'm clueless on what to get. I've gotta go buy chairs for MIL and FIL in a little bit, and I have to go to Greenville since that's where the nearest Academy is, so I figured I'd poke around Old Navy and maybe venture up to Plato's Closet hehe 0
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raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »I put a tv in my daughter's room when she was about 2, so I wouldn't have to listen to Blues Clues, Barney, etc. The deciding factor on that decision was when she got a vhs of The Lion King and insisted on watching it over and over and over. We could all repeat almost the entire movie word for word.
I am a terrible person.
Nah, we have a tv and DVD player in Raelynn's room because she loves to have the same movie on repeat. She watches Doc McStuffins or Sofia the First in the living room since that's the only TV hooked up to cable, but that's about it now. She has to have her tv on when she's asleep, so that's usually when she watches movies. Bad mommy, I know..
My daughter will be in the living room watchin Disney Jr/Nick Jr and have her tablet going on Netflix with another kid show. You had better not try to change the channel because she is watching both and can tell you exactly what is going on with each. She hasn't been hooked on any one movie too much, but I am a little tired of Strawberry Shortcake....0 -
I completely agree. Sexual assault is too much of a serious accusation to just blame the victim right away.rungirl1973 wrote: »My heart hurts for all of you that have been sexually assaulted. It's appalling that anyone who was assaulted would believe it was their fault for even one minute.
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@pofoster21 yay for the fitbit. My email is posted in tne thread in tbe batcave if you want to add me.
Also the shoes from yesterday were fab!0 -
@Susieq_1994 trying to catch up from yesterday but wanted to say congratulations on stepping out of your comfort zone and doing tbe stairs and I love love love your sticky notes!0
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@pofoster21 That just makes me want to order a Charge HR more! Love the color.
Congrats on the three years @Just_Ceci
I used to watch the Lion King every week and act it out with my toys.0 -
pofoster21 wrote: »girldownsouth wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »
Ooh that sounds good, what happens during that one?pofoster21 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »
That will be great Ceci!!
Well, dang. I'm not in South Carolina or Texas.
Anybody near Nashville, TN?
No but I really want to do the country music marathon. Interested?
Country music at every mile marker. Seriously want to do it? I am in! I signed up years ago then didn't go as I didn't want to travel by myself. I have since got over that and travel by myself to races all the time. I was just thinking the other day about signing up again. I haven't raced in TN!
Yeah I'd love to! And have a little holiday at the same time
Might be up @girldownsouth 's alley also
Yep, country music might make the running part better! In fact, what would definitely get me round a marathon would be if you could get Dierks Bentley to run just in front of me! That'd be great...
Okay, guys, 4/30/16 is our date! I'll have to think about which country artist I would want to run behind. I love Eric Church, but he's taken. As is Toby Keith. Not sure about Chris Young. I love Gary Allen's voice but he isn't the most handsome man in the world... Hmmm. I'll have to think on it a bit. Start training!
@girldownsouth wanna be my training partner?
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raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »I put a tv in my daughter's room when she was about 2, so I wouldn't have to listen to Blues Clues, Barney, etc. The deciding factor on that decision was when she got a vhs of The Lion King and insisted on watching it over and over and over. We could all repeat almost the entire movie word for word.
I am a terrible person.
Nah, we have a tv and DVD player in Raelynn's room because she loves to have the same movie on repeat. She watches Doc McStuffins or Sofia the First in the living room since that's the only TV hooked up to cable, but that's about it now. She has to have her tv on when she's asleep, so that's usually when she watches movies. Bad mommy, I know..
My daughter will be in the living room watchin Disney Jr/Nick Jr and have her tablet going on Netflix with another kid show. You had better not try to change the channel because she is watching both and can tell you exactly what is going on with each. She hasn't been hooked on any one movie too much, but I am a little tired of Strawberry Shortcake....
Haha! Raelynn can tell me everything that happens in a Bubble Guppies episode and she hasn't watched that in at least 3 months lol! Kids have some sharp memories lol..0 -
For all you who are getting too much rain please send some my way. We have so many forest fires burning right now it feels like the whole province is covered in smoke.0
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I put a tv in my daughter's room when she was about 2, so I wouldn't have to listen to Blues Clues, Barney, etc. The deciding factor on that decision was when she got a vhs of The Lion King and insisted on watching it over and over and over. We could all repeat almost the entire movie word for word.
I am a terrible person.
No you are most definitely not! When I have kids I'd do the same thing- Mommy has her stories to watch!0 -
@Just_Ceci Wow! Congrats on 3 years! I was pretty impressed with my 185 day streak this morning.
I could probably start right now and recite The Lion King from memory without the movie even playing. LOL We watched it about eleventy million times when my kids were growing up.
That, and for some reason they got hooked on One Fine Day (Michelle Pfeiffer and George Clooney). They were so funny, they always put the accent on the "Fine".0 -
Holy goodness, a HUGE SUPER GREAT CONGRATS TO @just_Ceci that is amazing!!!! So inspiring!! 0
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spacequiztime wrote: »@pofoster21 That just makes me want to order a Charge HR more! Love the color.Congrats on the three years @Just_Ceci
I used to watch the Lion King every week and act it out with my toys.
I do too!! Purple is my favorite color!!0 -
riderfangal wrote: »For all you who are getting too much rain please send some my way. We have so many forest fires burning right now it feels like the whole province is covered in smoke.
Oh goodness I'll do the rain dance for you and hope it goes that way- waaaay too much over here
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@bkhamill, that is horrendous. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm impressed that his brother acted like he did though, and I hope that restored a little bit of faith that some people can be decent. I'm glad to hear that you were somehow able to move on from that and not let it define your life.
Agreed.0 -
riderfangal wrote: »For all you who are getting too much rain please send some my way. We have so many forest fires burning right now it feels like the whole province is covered in smoke.
Oh goodness I'll do the rain dance for you and hope it goes that way- waaaay too much over here
Thanks @LBuehrle8 we really need it. I havent seen it this dry in 25 years. The crops are starting to die and I work for a company that exports specialty crops overseas so it's a little worrisome0 -
Occasionally, my daughter will call me and say, "Guess what we're watching?" It is usually some movie that she binge watched as a child that she is now sharing with her 2 little ones. One of my favorite memories with my grandson is when I took him to see "Monsters Inc" in 3D at the theater when it was re-released. When Sully was taking Boo down the hallway, grandson stood up and yelled, "No, don't go down there!"
Daughter loved "Master of Disguise" and "Grease" as she got a little older and still watches those every chance she gets (me too!)0 -
Occasionally, my daughter will call me and say, "Guess what we're watching?" It is usually some movie that she binge watched as a child that she is now sharing with her 2 little ones. One of my favorite memories with my grandson is when I took him to see "Monsters Inc" in 3D at the theater when it was re-released. When Sully was taking Boo down the hallway, grandson stood up and yelled, "No, don't go down there!"
Daughter loved "Master of Disguise" and "Grease" as she got a little older and still watches those every chance she gets (me too!)
Love Grease one of my all time favourites0 -
FYI, for anyone looking for Susieq_1994 I checked in on her and she is having some issues connecting today, like many of us did earlier.0
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@Just_Ceci - Congratulations! 3 years is amazing!0
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Mountain - 3!!!0
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orangesmartie wrote: »Mountain - 3!!!
So excited for you!0
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