Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

spamarie wrote: »

Tubbs216 wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

nonoelmo wrote: »

Original Poster who I will not identify for her sake, I'm glad I read it. I will reply with thoughts of my experience (and for those of you reading my experience is not at all the same, but something in what I'm saying may help her or someone else)

You have dealt with a lot. It does not matter what your orientation is in so far as what happened was in NO way, shape or form any fault of your own. At All. You are blameless. (HUGE HUGS). I am so sorry that you had the experiences you did.


**WARNING FOR THOSE WHO MIGHT BE TRIGGERED BY VIOLENCE - SKIP THE REST OF THIS POST PLEASE, THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS UPSET SOMEONE**
When I was 20 I met an acquaintance through a co-worker. He was a wealthy physician. He invited me to a barbecue. I was in no way attracted to him but I thought he was just being friendly and he was "known" so I said yes. I was drugged (the date rape drug) and have no recollection of what happened, but why would I be drugged if nothing happened?

The same year I was taken by two men in a situation where I thought there was a good chance I'd be killed and I was raped by one. I talked my way out of being raped by the second. I talked the first into a condom. I talked my way into being let go. I was shaken and I (kick myself for this one now) chalked it up to a hard learning experience and I moved on without reporting it and without telling anyone. Until 10 years later someone threatened by then 2 year old daughter. I took care of that situation IMMEDIATELY and have entirely put that person out of my life. I had flashbacks. I had nightmares. I sought counseling and was told I had PTSD. Counseling really helped me enormously. I reframed the incident so that I was strong and did everything I could to protect myself. I worked through the issues and I have not had issues since and that has been a number of years ago. Please seek counseling. Call the hotline number that you see for victims of ___ crimes even if you feel it does not apply to you because they can put you in touch with counselors. HUGE HUGE HUGS.

The first few counselors I saw were batty, find one you can work with. What happened does not define me nor do I think about it often. It is now just a tiny moment in time. You will get there. I believe in you and your bright future.

Oh my goodness. I am so sorry for this experience. I have nothing to say. Hugs.

Ditto. How awful.

Hugs to you, but mostly I'm heartened to read how this does not define you. You're one of the posters I look up to as being a particularly strong person, and reading this has made me have even more respect for you. I had my own nasty experience with a man and a lack of consent years ago (nowhere near as awful as what you described, but certainly illegal) and the thing I kicked myself about the most was the fact that I told no-one, even though there was a police van right outside where it happened so the opportunity was immediately there. Partly I didn't think anything could be done since I couldn't have positively IDed the guy, but mostly embarrassment, shame etc. Now I realise I had nothing to be embarrassed about. I am (and was) a confident and capable young woman, yet I didn't feel able/worthy of that policeman's time so I didn't bother him. How ridiculous. It reassures me that someone as clearly awesome at life as you can come from such a place and grow and get better. If this happened now, I know I would react differently. And I definitely wouldn't blame myself!

Tubbs216 wrote: »

Happy Canada Day!
I'm meant to be going camping with friends today, but the weather is a bit unsettled. We had a HUGE thunderstorm in the night. They have a nice new tent trailer which they will squeeze my son and I into if needed, but I'd rather not do that. I bought a new pop-up tent specially for the occasion but now I'm thinking maybe we'll go and have a nice day and evening with them, and then drive home.
Despite having been an awesome Girl Guide leader when my daughter was younger, I hate tent camping with a passion!

Just_Ceci wrote: »

I put a tv in my daughter's room when she was about 2, so I wouldn't have to listen to Blues Clues, Barney, etc. The deciding factor on that decision was when she got a vhs of The Lion King and insisted on watching it over and over and over. We could all repeat almost the entire movie word for word.

I am a terrible person.

bkhamill wrote: »

spamarie wrote: »

Tubbs216 wrote: »

pofoster21 wrote: »

nonoelmo wrote: »

Original Poster who I will not identify for her sake, I'm glad I read it. I will reply with thoughts of my experience (and for those of you reading my experience is not at all the same, but something in what I'm saying may help her or someone else)

You have dealt with a lot. It does not matter what your orientation is in so far as what happened was in NO way, shape or form any fault of your own. At All. You are blameless. (HUGE HUGS). I am so sorry that you had the experiences you did.


**WARNING FOR THOSE WHO MIGHT BE TRIGGERED BY VIOLENCE - SKIP THE REST OF THIS POST PLEASE, THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS UPSET SOMEONE**
When I was 20 I met an acquaintance through a co-worker. He was a wealthy physician. He invited me to a barbecue. I was in no way attracted to him but I thought he was just being friendly and he was "known" so I said yes. I was drugged (the date rape drug) and have no recollection of what happened, but why would I be drugged if nothing happened?

The same year I was taken by two men in a situation where I thought there was a good chance I'd be killed and I was raped by one. I talked my way out of being raped by the second. I talked the first into a condom. I talked my way into being let go. I was shaken and I (kick myself for this one now) chalked it up to a hard learning experience and I moved on without reporting it and without telling anyone. Until 10 years later someone threatened by then 2 year old daughter. I took care of that situation IMMEDIATELY and have entirely put that person out of my life. I had flashbacks. I had nightmares. I sought counseling and was told I had PTSD. Counseling really helped me enormously. I reframed the incident so that I was strong and did everything I could to protect myself. I worked through the issues and I have not had issues since and that has been a number of years ago. Please seek counseling. Call the hotline number that you see for victims of ___ crimes even if you feel it does not apply to you because they can put you in touch with counselors. HUGE HUGE HUGS.

The first few counselors I saw were batty, find one you can work with. What happened does not define me nor do I think about it often. It is now just a tiny moment in time. You will get there. I believe in you and your bright future.

Oh my goodness. I am so sorry for this experience. I have nothing to say. Hugs.

Ditto. How awful.

Hugs to you, but mostly I'm heartened to read how this does not define you. You're one of the posters I look up to as being a particularly strong person, and reading this has made me have even more respect for you. I had my own nasty experience with a man and a lack of consent years ago (nowhere near as awful as what you described, but certainly illegal) and the thing I kicked myself about the most was the fact that I told no-one, even though there was a police van right outside where it happened so the opportunity was immediately there. Partly I didn't think anything could be done since I couldn't have positively IDed the guy, but mostly embarrassment, shame etc. Now I realise I had nothing to be embarrassed about. I am (and was) a confident and capable young woman, yet I didn't feel able/worthy of that policeman's time so I didn't bother him. How ridiculous. It reassures me that someone as clearly awesome at life as you can come from such a place and grow and get better. If this happened now, I know I would react differently. And I definitely wouldn't blame myself!

All this talk of sexual assault makes me wonder how many women have suffered this. I'll share my story that I have not talked about in many years. **IF YOU ARE BOTHERED BY ABUSE STORIES, STOP READING NOW! **

I was raped when I was 15, by my "boyfriend" and I was told I asked for it. I had indeed had a sexual relationship with this man (he was 22, and totally doing illegal stuff by dating me). One night I was at his house, and a bunch of his friends showed up, they were all drinking and smoking pot. I walked in the room and Steve said "hey ya'll want me to f*** her in front of ya'll? They all egged him on, and although I fought him, he forced me to the floor and ripped my clothes off and did what he wanted, it was awful, I was on my period at the time too, which made it seem much worse to me. I was crying and yelling at him to stop and all of a sudden, his younger brother came in and pulled him off me and beat the crap out of him. I was so thankful to him, yet so embarrassed and appalled at the other 4 guys in the room who sat there and did nothing while he was raping me right in front of them. Anyway, his brother took me home and went in the house with me to tell my dad what had happened, I was so impressed by him standing up against his brother to help me out. My dad was furious, but had the sense to call the sheriff and not take matters into his own hands. Anyway the Sheriff busted him for drug possession and a charge of statutory rape. I had been told by several people I asked for it and I refused to testify against him in court for this reason, I did not want anymore embarrassment. He ended up doing 3 years in prison for the drug charges and that was it. After I was married I ran into him in the grocery store where I was working one day and had a panic attack. It was a small town, and my boss asked him to leave the store after managing to get me to tell him what had happened. He was then not welcome in our store. That was OH so long ago, and I have not let it define me for sure.

raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »

Just_Ceci wrote: »

I put a tv in my daughter's room when she was about 2, so I wouldn't have to listen to Blues Clues, Barney, etc. The deciding factor on that decision was when she got a vhs of The Lion King and insisted on watching it over and over and over. We could all repeat almost the entire movie word for word.

I am a terrible person.

Nah, we have a tv and DVD player in Raelynn's room because she loves to have the same movie on repeat. She watches Doc McStuffins or Sofia the First in the living room since that's the only TV hooked up to cable, but that's about it now. She has to have her tv on when she's asleep, so that's usually when she watches movies. Bad mommy, I know..

Just_Ceci wrote: »

3 years today!

raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »

Just_Ceci wrote: »

I put a tv in my daughter's room when she was about 2, so I wouldn't have to listen to Blues Clues, Barney, etc. The deciding factor on that decision was when she got a vhs of The Lion King and insisted on watching it over and over and over. We could all repeat almost the entire movie word for word.

I am a terrible person.

Nah, we have a tv and DVD player in Raelynn's room because she loves to have the same movie on repeat. She watches Doc McStuffins or Sofia the First in the living room since that's the only TV hooked up to cable, but that's about it now. She has to have her tv on when she's asleep, so that's usually when she watches movies. Bad mommy, I know..