Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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CountessKitteh wrote: »LouisaM162 wrote: »My confession is that I compare myself to every woman I see. When I am out and about I am always eyeing up the other women I see and thinking "I am thinner" or "she is thinner than I am". It drives me crazy because it takes away from regular interactions, it is kind of petty and stupid and extremely vain but I do it all the time.
I do the exact same thing. I hate to promote the stereotype of women being insecure about their looks, and it's something I can't really explain to my SO without sounding vain, but it's definitely true in my case.
It's part of why I have a slight phobia of malls, actually. Crowded, open spaces bother me anyways, and if it's a ritzy mall where every girl is dressed up with perfect hair and has a perfect body, I want to crawl in a hole and disappear. Meanwhile, I have no problems shopping at lower-class stores where half of the shoppers are significantly overweight and the other half are wearing pajamas.
I have a phobia of fancy hair salons/spas. I feel so frumpy - I can't do makeup well (and I'm lazy) and I can't do anything with my hair so I don't feel like I'm welcome or belong in those types of places.
I'm like that too with salons. I haven't coloured my hair in a year (which I did myself) and haven't had it professionally cut or coloured in two years because I feel like I left it too long initially and now it looks so terrible and it's in such bad shape that I'm going to have to spend the entire appointment being berated about it, so I'm STILL putting it off even though my hair is more like a horse's mane at this point than actual hair. I don't understand why every time I go to a salon, it's always "Oh, when was the last time you had this cut? Who did it, the layers are terrible?" and "You've got some damage here," and "Um, is THIS how you usually wear it?" etc etc. I don't know who told hair stylists that the best way to build client loyalty is by criticizing their hair. Ugh.
My million-dollar business idea is to start a salon where no one talks to you. It's silent and there is music or Netflix or whatever for each person and you can just sit there and not make small talk with your stylist at all. He or she will just ask you what you want, clarify if necessary, and then just stop talking unless they're asking you if you're okay with what they're doing. And you can just have your hair cut and coloured and not have to tell your stylist about your last vacation and listen to them complain about their coworkers and the state of your hair.
A coworker was just telling us how at the place her husband gets his hair cut (Sports Clips, maybe?) they ask you if you want "conversation" or not. I don't know if it's a corporate thing or just that place.
I don't get yelled at for my hair (it's all "virgin" now and super healthy from growing it out to donate), but everybody loves to comment on how (ridiculously) thick it is, as if I haven't been living with it for three decades and am completely unaware.
That is a great idea! I cut and color my own hair (way too picky to let anyone else do it), but I would REALLY like this policy at my massage place. My massage therapist is really good and he only chats right when I get there and not at all during the massage. The part I dislike is afterwards when I have to check out at the desk and all the little chit chat with the staff and what not. I'd like to just pay ahead of time and leave quietly.0 -
I've been stalking this thread since it was born and here's my confession- I just deleted my old account and started a whole new one. Seeing my weight fluctuations was really bumming me out and I've decided to wipe the slate clean and start completely over. Denial? Maybe.
Funny! Sometimes a fresh start is what we need. Good luck!0 -
almondbutterbay wrote: »I'm super nervous about my first day of work tomorrow and it doesn't help that I ate way too much and horrible today.
Not feeling good.
What type of job is it? Something you've done before? Just curious in case any of us can offer some tips. Let us know how your first day goes, though!0 -
FluffySandwich wrote: »I have been anxious beyond belief today with exams and everything... even now my palms are extremely sweaty and I'm just sitting here trying not to panic. I didn't eat at all and feel nauseous, so the thought of food is actually a big turn off. I'm hoping tomorrow will be better.
When will you find out your results? The waiting is so hard. Try to relax and do some deep breathing.0 -
So, the first part of this week, I was at my DD's new school that she will be transferring to in the Fall. She still has 2 years left. Conservatively, this will be $25k per year out of my pocket (we don't qualify for financial aid).
Confession: I'm bitter. I think school should be free or cheap for ALL students.1 -
pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »I am so tired tonight. I think I'll skip the confessions and go to sleep. G'Night.
@pofoster21 maybe you already mentioned it and I missed it, but what happened with your gelding? (that was you, right?)
Thanks. Yes it's me. It's not good. We are scheduling a date to put him down next month, if he can be ok that long. He is not in pain and is happy as can be but his condition is deteriorating and the vet is worried one day he will fall down and break something or lay down and not be able to get up. The month is for me to spend time with him and adjust to the idea. I am heartbroken and sick over it. I have spent the last week in tears. But it's the right thing to do and I don't want to ever see him in pain. So thanks for asking and I will let you all know when it happens... And hopefully I can keep it together until then.
I'm so sorry! I'd be a complete mess if I were you. Feel free to vent here and we'll do our best to help.0 -
I am not into the whole competitive parent thing, like who's throwing the biggest birthday party for their five year old. So far I have asked my daughter, what she wants to do for her birthday. It ususally is nothing big, just a simple theme party and then have everyone jump in our tiny backyard pool. She was born in July so it's almost perfect for it. As long as she is happy with the plans, we go with it. Of course, she is considering Chuck E Cheese this year.0
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shannonbun wrote: »I just want everyone who has read and thought of us and especially those of you who have commented on my daughter and her potential eating disorder....Thank you. A very heart-felt thank you. I scheduled a meeting with a nutritionist for late next month. Dr follow up is the same day.
Thank you also for your supportive words and helpful words and suggestions about my approach to parenting in this situation. I had a flawed role model so I think a lot and do my best and hope for the best. I tell her when I think I've made a mistake and apologize. She knows I love her.
This is a pretty cool group. I don't have many I can share this issue with. Thank you!
I think it's wonderful that you are receptive to the fact that your daughter may have an eating disorder and that you are seeking treatment for her. Often, parents can turn a blind eye to these sorts of things (self-injury, depression, and anxiety as well) because they're difficult topics to handle. However, your daughter is unfortunately (and, I suppose, fortunately in a sort-of way) not alone in this. It's something like 10 million Americans (assuming that's where you are, but still) will suffer from an eating disorder each year, so this is obviously not her fault, nor yours. There's a physical and very much a psychological component to this, and it takes treatment of both to beat a disorder. You're already aware of this, but she will need you more than she might say during this time. There might be fights, or rough patches, but she will appreciate your help once she's on the other side. I'm praying for you both!
I agree. Taking action and following through are things to be proud of. A lot of people do ignore their children's issues due to what @shannonbun said or because they think it is their own failure. I also admire the wise, mature words from @shannonbun.0 -
rungirl1973 wrote: »So, the first part of this week, I was at my DD's new school that she will be transferring to in the Fall. She still has 2 years left. Conservatively, this will be $25k per year out of my pocket (we don't qualify for financial aid).
Confession: I'm bitter. I think school should be free or cheap for ALL students.
Ok I'm confused... aren't there public schools in Tennessee?I am not into the whole competitive parent thing, like who's throwing the biggest birthday party for their five year old. So far I have asked my daughter, what she wants to do for her birthday. It ususally is nothing big, just a simple theme party and then have everyone jump in our tiny backyard pool. She was born in July so it's almost perfect for it. As long as she is happy with the plans, we go with it. Of course, she is considering Chuck E Cheese this year.
I'm not taking my kids to Chuck E Cheese parties anymore, let alone hosting one, lol. No thanks. My kids are February kids unfortunately so this year we didn't even have a party, I'm not spending $400 for a party anymore (plus I have twins, and they are only allowed to invite the whole class, good luck finding a place that can host up to 50 children!). Looking forward to when they have a few close friends and they can just invite them to the house...0 -
rungirl1973 wrote: »So, the first part of this week, I was at my DD's new school that she will be transferring to in the Fall. She still has 2 years left. Conservatively, this will be $25k per year out of my pocket (we don't qualify for financial aid).
Confession: I'm bitter. I think school should be free or cheap for ALL students.
Ok I'm confused... aren't there public schools in Tennessee?
She's 21. This is a university.
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Not so much a weightloss/dieting confession as a confession about a confession: I finally told my dentist that I've had some disordered eating issues going on and that's why my teeth don't look so great. (There's no major damage, but they're worn from the acids. My teenaged Pepsi Max habit (several liters a week for years) didn't help.) She was very understanding, but did fumble around a little for something to say. I told her it was okay, that she didn't need to say anything, and that I just wanted her to know that there was a probable explanation for some of the wear on my teeth. (I also grind my teeth in my sleep when I'm stressed, which is another issue.)
Have you tried sleeping with a mouthpiece? I mean just a basic one that you buy at the store like some athletes wear - just a rubber, fitted piece that goes on your bottom teeth only. Of course, that suggestion is coming from a hypocrite: I'm supposed to wear one, but I can't because I feel like I'll choke on it and die in my sleep. Pretty sure rational people know that won't happen. Just thought I'd throw that out there.0 -
47Jacqueline wrote: »After my mom died, I started sleeping about three hours a night. I think I may have been trying to ward off feeling anything that I couldn't control. Recently I started working with a Biofeedback therapist and in the past 2 months I've increased my sleep time by 2 hours to 5 hours a night.
Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment and she weighed me. After almost a year being stuck on her scale at 132, I weighed in a 126. Since nothing has changed in my diet as I have been following a maintenance plan, I truly believe that my sleep deprivation contributed to my body holding onto that four pounds during this time.
Definitely! It's merely my opinion, but I believe that good quality sleep is just as important as exercise. Glad to hear you're doing better.0 -
I am not into the whole competitive parent thing, like who's throwing the biggest birthday party for their five year old. So far I have asked my daughter, what she wants to do for her birthday. It ususally is nothing big, just a simple theme party and then have everyone jump in our tiny backyard pool. She was born in July so it's almost perfect for it. As long as she is happy with the plans, we go with it. Of course, she is considering Chuck E Cheese this year.
Good Lord, yes. I am so tired of other moms trying to be competitive with me. I say trying, because when they start I just stare at them until they stop talking. Probably why I don't have any friends.
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rungirl1973 wrote: »So, the first part of this week, I was at my DD's new school that she will be transferring to in the Fall. She still has 2 years left. Conservatively, this will be $25k per year out of my pocket (we don't qualify for financial aid).
Confession: I'm bitter. I think school should be free or cheap for ALL students.
When college kids quite literally consider throwing themselves in front of a university bus to get free tuition, you know that whole system is completely screwed up. And even when you can get financial aid, it's never anywhere near enough. All I can think about is how all my student loans need to be secured and out-of-pocket ~$5,000 needs to come out of no where by July 1st for me to go to school next fall. Let me check the bus schedule...
No, but in all seriousness, the U.S. college education system is absolutely messed up. My boyfriend's at university in England, where he's from, and with every update I get it reminds me how broken our education system truly is. There's no reason for one textbook to cost $400+ or for tuition to be enough to pay for a house.0 -
kellienw335 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Put on another pound this week. I was so confident I had lost weight this week, yesterday after going to the gym for 40min at lunch AND going for a 30min run/walk when I got home I thought I would indulge myself in a 3 scoops of Ben and Jerry's... now I wish I hadn't. I know its not entirely Mr Ben and Mr Jerry's fault, but I just kinda wish I hadn't done it now. I have now put on 2lbs in two weeks, and after a month of eating 1400 calories a day and not losing anything, I have decided to lower it down to 1200 calories. If that doesn't work I'm thoroughly confused.
1200 calories seems crazy low to me! How tall are you and how much do you weigh? And sorry if this is late to the game...I'm a couple pages behind! But aren't you doing some heavy lifting? Maybe you need more calories?
Uh, I am 5'6 and weigh 215lbs (now)
I lift but it's not heavy, just a top up because I was told your body uses muscle as a catalyst to burn fat, so you lose muscle at the same time as fat. I got advice on how heavy to lift on a deficit.
I swim Sunday, Tuesday & Thursday and I gym and run for 30 mins Monday, Wednesday & Friday (then die slowly on Saturday so I can do it all over again lol)
That is frustrating! I too get stuck sometimes, but I could never do 1200 calories...I'd be hangry all day!
Ha ha, I get a little hangry on Fridays already, but i think that is down to working all week, exercising 6 days straight and just generally being quite tired at the end of the week. I'll give it a whirl for a month if that doesn't show any signs of working, I'll have to go back to the doctor. I just want to rule everything out before I get very hangry indeed. My SO thinks I should go to a nutritionist, he is convinced something is wrong. In his words "Any other person would have the weight dropping off them if they do what you do".
Edit: I've come to the conclusion I must have broken a very large mirror at some point in my life without knowing, because nothing comes easy for me. I'm currently trying to replace a wing mirror someone broke off of my car and the back isn't fitting on properly. This is the kind of thing my life is full of...
Sorry for your struggles, but I believe if life is easy then I'm doing something wrong. Not that everything should be a struggle, but challenges make us stronger, more resilient and more knowledgeable and it keeps things in perspective for me.0 -
LouisaM162 wrote: »My confession is that I compare myself to every woman I see. When I am out and about I am always eyeing up the other women I see and thinking "I am thinner" or "she is thinner than I am". It drives me crazy because it takes away from regular interactions, it is kind of petty and stupid and extremely vain but I do it all the time.
I do the exact same thing. I hate to promote the stereotype of women being insecure about their looks, and it's something I can't really explain to my SO without sounding vain, but it's definitely true in my case.
It's part of why I have a slight phobia of malls, actually. Crowded, open spaces bother me anyways, and if it's a ritzy mall where every girl is dressed up with perfect hair and has a perfect body, I want to crawl in a hole and disappear. Meanwhile, I have no problems shopping at lower-class stores where half of the shoppers are significantly overweight and the other half are wearing pajamas.
I have a phobia of fancy hair salons/spas. I feel so frumpy - I can't do makeup well (and I'm lazy) and I can't do anything with my hair so I don't feel like I'm welcome or belong in those types of places.
Me too, once a stylist admonished me and said I should never leave do much time between appts and I wished I had challenged her and asked why exactly?? Probably because she doesn't make that much money from my sporadic appts!
How much do you pay for colts and cuts? I pay about 35 for cut and close to 50 for color just to hide the gray.
I went to an upscale salon for the first time in my life in late February - decided to treat myself after losing so much weight. It cost me $230 (before tip) for a haircut and colored my hair red (I have always been blonde) with blonde highlights. Problem is I loved it, more than I have ever loved my hair. I have an appointment in two weeks to go there again (red does not last long enough!) I may never go to the cheap salons again.
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I've been stalking this thread since it was born and here's my confession- I just deleted my old account and started a whole new one. Seeing my weight fluctuations was really bumming me out and I've decided to wipe the slate clean and start completely over. Denial? Maybe.
I've done this!0 -
breathless575 wrote: »I lie about how much I eat so people will think I'm normal and not watching my weight. I'll tell them I had pizza but I didn't.
There's nothing ABnormal about watching your weight unless it is interfering with your life or making you unhealthy. Nine times out of ten people are more focused on themselves and don't pay attention to what you eat or don't eat, even if they are our friends.0 -
Some days, when I haven't eaten all my calories, I adjust quantity of servings for all I ate that day JUST to avoid that scary mean warning from MFP about how my results will not enter into my newsfeed and that they won't give me my 5 week weight estimate. It really is defeating the purpose of this accountability app and I realize I'm not lying to anyone but myself - it is exactly the same if i ate over my goal and didn't add it to my diary! Ugh. The fact that I even CAN'T eat my calorie goal is a miracle! I'm doing the best I can....
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Confession time!
I avoid letting people I socialize with know that I'm dieting. I'm visibly significantly overweight and I hate having to deal with comments like: Already lean people saying things like "Oh, you're SO LUCKY because when you have THAT MUCH to lose, it just falls off! I've been trying to lose these last 3 pounds for months, etc etc!" (or alternately, "I should diet too, I just feel SO FAT when I get over 110, it's disgusting..."), condescending "Good for you, honey!" type comments, non scientific advice about 'good carbs'/paleo/vegan/faddietoftheday, general discussion of my eating/body/fatness, and how I have "a pretty face" and am "going to be so cute once I lose the pounds!" Somehow just being fat doesn't bring about this conversation, but anyone getting wind that I'm trying to lose weight does.... I don't get it.
I skip social situations or save up calories so I can eat what other people are eating, just to avoid having these conversations.0 -
rungirl1973 wrote: »So, the first part of this week, I was at my DD's new school that she will be transferring to in the Fall. She still has 2 years left. Conservatively, this will be $25k per year out of my pocket (we don't qualify for financial aid).
Confession: I'm bitter. I think school should be free or cheap for ALL students.
Ok I'm confused... aren't there public schools in Tennessee?I am not into the whole competitive parent thing, like who's throwing the biggest birthday party for their five year old. So far I have asked my daughter, what she wants to do for her birthday. It ususally is nothing big, just a simple theme party and then have everyone jump in our tiny backyard pool. She was born in July so it's almost perfect for it. As long as she is happy with the plans, we go with it. Of course, she is considering Chuck E Cheese this year.
I'm not taking my kids to Chuck E Cheese parties anymore, let alone hosting one, lol. No thanks. My kids are February kids unfortunately so this year we didn't even have a party, I'm not spending $400 for a party anymore (plus I have twins, and they are only allowed to invite the whole class, good luck finding a place that can host up to 50 children!). Looking forward to when they have a few close friends and they can just invite them to the house...
Chuck E Cheese is the worst. I hate going there. All my kids have birthdays in the colder months, so people always suggest it to me. No thanks. I would rather have a smaller party at my house. My kids are allowed to privately invite certain kids from school, but it has to be done outside of school hours so no one feels left out.0 -
Confession- Last night we were helping our daughter address her graduation announcements. She was making me so crazy all I could think about was how much quieter the house will be when she leaves for college next fall.0
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Every time I've been to Chuck E Cheese, I come home with a screaming headache and my kid ends up getting sick a couple of days later. It's so awful.
My son is a summer baby, so a couple of times we've done a big lawn party complete with bounce house and dunking booth. It was a lot of fun, but a lot of work/cash so the next time that happens (if ever) will be when he graduates from high school. Last year he invited his class to a party at the Y and it was perfect. 1 hour of pool, 1 hour of ice rink, pizza and playground. The kids loved it AND I didn't have to clean up. Win win!0 -
My son's birthday is Saturday. He wanted a "survival" themed party. Sweet. Kids go play in the pasture, then we'll roast hot dogs in the fire pit. I bought some bunny Peeps, so the kids can roast "rabbits" and make smores out of them. This may be the easiest birthday party ever.
Last year we went to a park, and I had Domino's deliver pizza to the park. That was a easy and fun birthday party, too.0 -
I'm blaming my hormones/PMS for this week's overages due to chocolate.
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Not so much a weightloss/dieting confession as a confession about a confession: I finally told my dentist that I've had some disordered eating issues going on and that's why my teeth don't look so great. (There's no major damage, but they're worn from the acids. My teenaged Pepsi Max habit (several liters a week for years) didn't help.) She was very understanding, but did fumble around a little for something to say. I told her it was okay, that she didn't need to say anything, and that I just wanted her to know that there was a probable explanation for some of the wear on my teeth. (I also grind my teeth in my sleep when I'm stressed, which is another issue.)
Good for you!0 -
Confession: I bought myself a big bag of Hershey eggs at Eastertime I only have 3 three left. Sad.0
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pofoster21 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »I am so tired tonight. I think I'll skip the confessions and go to sleep. G'Night.
@pofoster21 maybe you already mentioned it and I missed it, but what happened with your gelding? (that was you, right?)
Thanks. Yes it's me. It's not good. We are scheduling a date to put him down next month, if he can be ok that long. He is not in pain and is happy as can be but his condition is deteriorating and the vet is worried one day he will fall down and break something or lay down and not be able to get up. The month is for me to spend time with him and adjust to the idea. I am heartbroken and sick over it. I have spent the last week in tears. But it's the right thing to do and I don't want to ever see him in pain. So thanks for asking and I will let you all know when it happens... And hopefully I can keep it together until then.
Sending you a hug. I hope you have a pleasant last few weeks with him.0 -
I have babies on the brain. I don't have any kids, but hopefully I will soon. My main motivation to lose weight was to be in good shape for pregnancy. I've lost about 16lb over the last 6 months, improved my fitness, and feel a lot better in general, but I've still got about 16lb to go and these are proving harder to shift.
But part of me really wants to get pregnant now because then I'll have a great excuse to go on to maintenance calories straight away!
I love new babies! I would say that it is easier to gain before the baby than afterwards because you have less time and sleep. However, life happens, enjoy trying
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