Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))

fellowtraveler87 wrote: »

-I'm in the introvert / low friend count crowd. Used to bother me, but not so much anymore. My wife and I are very close. Other than that, I can count the people I consider close friends on one hand and still have a finger or two to spare (family included). Having lots of friends that you can't relate to or don't have much in common with just seems like a waste of effort to me.

-As close as I am to my wife, I look forward to the couple times a week where she's working and I'm not. I enjoy solitude (in small doses).

-In the past few months I've gotten down to a "normal" bmi for the first time since I was probably 8 years old. I still feel pretty much the same though. Its like my clothes got bigger but I didn't change.

-I don't have nearly as much muscle mass hiding under my fat as I had thought.

-I plan on switching gears from weight loss focus to muscle growth, which will involve eating more, which I'm apprehensive about. I plan on keeping a VERY close watch on things to make sure I'm doing it right so I don't end up back where I used to be.

-I used to make fun of cats but now we own two of them and I'm a "closet" cat person.

First bold: me too! My husband is retired and I work full time, but he does have a part-time job on the weekends and I really look forward to those few hours on the weekends that I get to myself!

Second bold: it's only been a few months. It takes a while for your brain to catch up.

smashley_mashley wrote: »

fellowtraveler87 wrote: »

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I also confess I don't add MFP friends because I don't like getting "Likes" when I post my exercise or complete my food diary. The only two MFP friends I have are my mom and my husband.

This made me laugh because I'm the same way. I don't really want to add friends on here. I am very private with my diary etc. My only friends on MFP are my boyfriend and my mom (I got her to join recently and she likes it so far).

crjmg wrote: »

It is somewhat concerning to read of all the members who must meticulously weigh each item prior to eating it. I am aware that certain individuals are on very regimental diets and must account for every calorie, but these behaviours may become unhealthy habits and may prevent one from living a healthy and happy life. I know this because I have been there too, weighing everything that entered my mouth. You can eye ball most of these (e.g. Tbsp of peanut butter) and I bet you would be accurate. You don't want to become a slave to the scale. It feels a lot better to be able to eat in approximate estimations and you begin to trust your body more, thus building a stronger sense self-concept.

Yeah a lot of people in denial say that too. I'm not saying you are, but, well, my eyeballing skills totally suck and it's pretty often that I get some almond butter, figure it's about 20g... and it's 32g. And I've been doing this for 2 years. So... I weigh.

The thing is... I have a sweet tooth. The only reason I managed to lose weight in the first place is because I didn't have to deny myself those sweets. But they pack calories too, so it's not something I want to estimate. So... I weigh. And then I weigh the rest too so I know I actually have some spare calories for my 1/2 cup of ice cream.

In a perfect world where I was actually ok with eating 'clean', I probably wouldn't have to weigh my piece of chicken and veggies, I would only eat when I'm hungry, I wouldn't have any cravings... but it's not a perfect world. I do it this way because it works for me.

I find it's somewhat concerning how it doesn't even occur to some people that what works for them might not work for others and that they feel the need to judge because 'clean' or 'intuitive' eating doesn't work for them.

Confession? I HATE confrontation but I keep getting dragged in online arguments with close minded people that really frustrate me.

rungirl1973 wrote: »

quiksylver296 wrote: »

ladybuggnorris wrote: »

Tubbs216 wrote: »

fellowtraveler87 wrote: »

confession:

(and this ties in to the past 2 or 3 topics in this thread somehow)

I used to be pretty judgmental of people with mental health issues. I'd dismiss it as weakness or attention seeking. Then about 2 years ago I started having panic attacks and anxiety. Fought it for a long time, tried to "fix" it on my own, nothing worked. Finally got help. Very humbling experience to say the least.

Was also drinking quite heavily during this time. Knocking on the door of full-blown alcoholism. I think the anxiety and panic attacks were correlated to the drinking but I'm not which came first. Anyway after getting help the desire to drink really dropped off. Every once in a while I want to have a casual drink like everyone else but I don't trust myself. It might be fine, or I might spiral out of control and right now I'm not willing to take that risk. Drinking heavily, at least for me, was symptomatic of deeper issues I had been harboring.

It all stems back to childhood I really believe that now. I didn't have that bad of childhood but for one aspect and it had a drastic effect on me without my realizing it until recently. I'll confess more on that later don't have the time now...

Oh, and I used to be one of those who thought about sex constantly but after seeking help they put me on an anti-depressant (one more thing I used to not "believe in" doing until it effected me). It has really helped me a lot, but one side effect is it has pretty much killed my libido. I don't necessarily mind it and in fact find it strangely liberating. I can focus my thoughts on more productive things and feel more in control of my mind and body.

Not a confession, but I highly recommend the book "Always the fat kid" - felt like I was reading my own biography and it really helped me understand myself.

I'm really impressed by your honesty. I hope you're feeling better about yourself these days. I'm with you about not really understanding much about mental illness when you've always been fine yourself. My 19 year-old daughter has recently been diagnosed with depression, and I'm still struggling with the idea that it may NOT have been caused by her low iron levels, but may actually be a serious condition.

I am so happy you got help! Through being overweight my whole life and bullied, I was still ALWAYS very mentally stable. (Arrogance runs in my family!) After I had my second child, I became a completely different person. I was angry ALL THE TIME. I treated my three year old son sooo bad. One day, when the baby was about 6 months old, I raged out on my 3yo to the point that I physically hurt him. I immediately lock myself in the bathroom and called my husband to come home from work. That very day, we went to our GP, who diagnosed me with severe post-partum depression, even though I was not sad, but angry. I took antidepressants and joined a post-partum support group and the change back to my old self was almost immediate. To this day, I still harbor so much guilt over hurting my son and I will NEVER forget the look in his eyes when it happened. It was a complete look of betrayal. I don't think he remembers it and I have never told anyone this story before. I am so glad this is a no judgement zone, because now that I have brought the memories back up, I feel about the worst human being ever.

When our third was born, I also had PPD, but we knew to watch for the signs and made sure to get on anti-depressants right away...my awesome husband also insisted that I get out at least once a week, for a couple of hours without the baby.

I had post-partum depression after my son was born. I used to fantasize, while driving down the road, about driving my car into a telephone pole. I would be holding the steering wheel in a death grip, trying not to swerve off the road. It was terrifying. I have never felt so out of control. Eighteen months of Paxil and I've never had any problems since. It was so weird. I'm glad my PPD didn't target my son, that must have been horrendous.

Yikes. Glad you got some help.

I used to fantasize about driving my car off the road into a pole on the way to a former job just so I could hopefully get some rest in the hospital (stressful and tons of hours). That was when I knew it was time to find a new job...

This reminded me of a problem I had at work a year ago (it was building up for two years). I felt very competitive feelings towards a co-worker of mine. She had leadership responsibilities, and I really respected her. She is beautiful, successful, and confident. She made some drunken threats towards me in my first few months of working there, and I kept them a secret, which didn't our personal relationship (professionally, we were great together). She apologized profusely, but I don't think I ever forgot it. There were only three other women we worked with who we around our age, and she was good friends with two of them. They would do things on the weekend together, never inviting me, but always talking about how awesome it was and it really upset me, because I was new and had no girlfriends in our town. Yes, it was as "highschool" as it sounds, and it was totally pathetic.

Anyways, I slowly noticed how I was letting her "presence" really destroy my self image. I started over-analyzing everything I said about her, I'd replay every conversation I had with her over and over and over again in my head. We lived close to each other, and whenever I passed her house, I would always look in her apartment window to see what she was doing (because it would always be "cooler" than what I was doing). I would dread running into her if I was in our town because she would always look so beautiful and put together. I couldn't make a decision for what clothes to wear, what clothes to buy, what exercises to do without comparing what she did (or worse, what I assumed she did). I'd laugh to myself if she had lipstick on her teeth, and was in general really critical of her. It got pretty intense, and my husband got worried.

This was one of the many reasons why my husband and I quit our jobs and travelled around the world. I now see that we got off to a bad start, and although she did some terrible things to me, she didn't deserve me making every thing she did have something to do with me. She was just doing the best she could, and it's a shame I got out of control.

I have never had mental health problems before, and I appear to people (even during this time) as being really outgoing, friendly and confident. I hope I have better skills now to deal with my competitive nature, and my insecurities in the future.

Danilynn1975 wrote: »

I weigh out veggies like sweet potatoes at the grocery store on my food scale, yes I bring it with me. It's a flat black smooth one and looks like an iPad from a distance. It any of the sweet potatoes weigh more than 200 grams I won't buy it. So some weeks, I don't get them, because none are in the magic gram weight. I also buy loose onions and bell peppers on a similar weight method. Again some weeks, there aren't any in that weight.

I only buy my International Delight coffee creamer in the single serving mini containers like you get at restaurants. That way I know exactly how much creamer is in my coffee every morning.

I have counted the pieces of popcorn I have eaten.

All meat for myself is weighed out of the big package, vacuum sealed with date, weight, and either put in the fridge or freezer.

Packages of cheese are brought home and cut immediately into 1 ounce slices and vacuum sealed and returned to the fridge.

Lunches for the week are done on Sunday. Monday, Wednesday and Friday I usually do mixed veggies 300 grams frozen weight to be microwaved. Tuesday and Thursday are Broccoli days and that is 400 grams of frozen weight to be microwaved.

Boxes of Cereal if they are mine, get pre portioned out to 42 gram Ziploc baggies. I'm the only one who will drink 2% milk. So the half gallon gets weighed out into 8 ounce containers and returned to the fridge in their little reusable thermos containers.

When I make biscuits, I weigh the flour out and do not use a measuring cup. Any flour used for kneading that is left gets scraped up and weighed to subtract from the recipe.

I have made hamburgers for a party and weighed each patty, and thrown away what would not divide evenly into the calculated weight of the others.

I can actually nail the number of servings a peanut butter container has in it by the label to perfect accuracy. I weigh it out too.

I actually own 4 food scales, 1 that travels, 1 at the office and 2 in the kitchen. Their batteries are changed the 1st day of every month whether they need it or not. They are also all the same brand and identical. I'm a lab tech and have used the calibrated weights to check their accuracy, they are in acceptable range. I do this often.

Shall I continue. I have developed a lot of quirks over my 900+ logging days here.

I'm so impressed I'm at a loss for words... #slowclap

Vixenmd1 wrote: »

Not born (that was MN ) but raused in Cleveland.. Mostly west side (lakewood) but also some east side including cleveland hts and far out chesterland.. Moved at 19 but side (42) have a bunch of childhood friends there... I even went back a few years ago to run the cleveland marthin (did the half) was fun running the shoreway next to edgewater park.

ddrhellbunny wrote: »

LBuehrle8 wrote: »

ddrhellbunny wrote: »

LBuehrle8 wrote: »

Gym time=

ddrhellbunny wrote: »

AgentOrangeJuice wrote: »

ddrhellbunny wrote: »

AgentOrangeJuice wrote: »

ddrhellbunny wrote: »

I confess that I secretly wish I could find a MFP member who is close to where I live so I can have someone to work out with besides my boyfriend. He's gone a lot so our schedules don't always meet up.
I'm pretty shy in a gym and it just takes a little encouragement for me to go to the weight room when there are already a bunch of people over there.

I am always afraid I am going to do something wrong and someone will get mad at me for interrupting their set. haha. Silly, I know... I don't wanna be THAT person y'know?

Also, I haven't been craving any particular foods lately which is really really strange to me.

Most of time I'm like " oh, I feel like chicken, or a burger, or tacos, etc."

Not this week

Makes me think something big is coming on. OH GOD.

This, if you're in the Quad Cities, let me know

Not sure what the quad cities are! haha

2.5 hours west of Chicago, on the border of Iowa. It's the only place where the Mississippi flows directly east to west.

ahh nope, sorry. used to live over in Ohio but now currently reside is Texas.

I was born in Dallas, Texas and now live in Ohio! Haha

haha holy crap I am in Dallas now. please PLEASEEEE tell me you live in Cleveland.

That way I can know I traded places with someone lol

Ahh so close! I'm in Columbus! But have been to Cleveland quite a few times!

hah well I did live in Columbus for 3 years but born and raised in Cleveland. Hah, I somehow feel satisfied by this.

Everybody has lived in Cleveland at some point and I'm apparently the only one still here. Born & raised.

Confession 1: I tracked about half my food this weekend between laziness, annoyance with the app (vs online), and a "vacation mode" mindset. I'm up about 5 lbs, but it's now leading into TOM, and I cleary had way more salt than normal, so I've convinced myself it's all water weight. Which it very well might be, since I did a ton of walking, and actually worked out twice.

Confession 2: A coworker suffered a stroke over the weekend, and is not expected to survive (much less recover). She's in her late 40s, so it's quite a shock, and we're all pretty upset. Through all the resulting brain fog, I've had horrible thoughts about what they are going to do with her position, and if I would be interested in it. It makes me feel guilty, even though it's just scattered bits of information trying to establish some order, and not at all intended to be insensitive.

rungirl1973 wrote: »

Anniversary was yesterday. The cake was just as delicious as it was a year ago. That bakery is truly the only thing I miss about living in that place. (Indiana - lived there for one long year)

Congratulations! Glad your frozen cake turned out ok.

My confession is that I smoke and have for over 20 years. I don't really like it anymore but don't want to stop either. I also judge other people that smoke and I don't like the smell. How messed up is that?

Ive been having horrible week long periods where I slip from my diet ever since the holidays... and I just dont log at all those days because I'm too ashamed. =.=