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Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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Or drive north. We have them in Canada.
I absolutely hate that America hasn't discovered chunky kit kats...I will be bringing loads home after my visit to the UK woo hoo!
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Here's something I've never confessed IRL before...
I don't enjoy parenting. I don't think I was meant to be a mum.
Don't get me wrong, I love my boys with all my heart. I give all of myself to them to ensure they feel loved, are happy and healthy.
But I just don't think I was cut out for it. I've had pretty severe postnatal depression since my first was born 3 years ago and I'm sure that contributes, but I do wonder if its just my personality. Also, I carry a lot of guilt over my depression, its so unfair to them and I worry I'm messing up their whole lives
Aaaaaaaand now I want to cover my feelings in food.
Awe, I'm sorry you feel that way. That is quite the confession. *hugs*
I confess that I don't know if I want to be a mother. When I was younger, I always wanted a big family - 4 kids or so. Now that I am 29 and the more I get established in my career and see the fruits of my job (mostly putting money into savings) I don't know if I want the responsibility. There are parts of being a mom that I really want, such as doing crafts, going to kid movies, Halloween/Christmas/Easter - the fun stuff. But I don't know if I can handle all the other stuff, such as getting up in the middle of the night for feedings, changing diapers, dealing with sick/vomity kids, bratty meltdowns in stores, being annoyed when I just want me time.
I feel selfish because I just want the fun stuff but not the whole package.
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For the oreo lovers... COME GET YOUR FIX!
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Here's something I've never confessed IRL before...
I don't enjoy parenting. I don't think I was meant to be a mum.
Don't get me wrong, I love my boys with all my heart. I give all of myself to them to ensure they feel loved, are happy and healthy.
But I just don't think I was cut out for it. I've had pretty severe postnatal depression since my first was born 3 years ago and I'm sure that contributes, but I do wonder if its just my personality. Also, I carry a lot of guilt over my depression, its so unfair to them and I worry I'm messing up their whole lives
Aaaaaaaand now I want to cover my feelings in food.
I think more people than you realize feel this way at least sometimes, but it's so hard to find someone to talk to about it because people act like you are the devil incarnate if you even suggest that parenting isn't fun all day every day, let alone admit that you don't really like it.
What I want to say to you is this: If you have two (or more?) kids 3 and under, you are at one of the hardest parts and it is totally understandable to not enjoy every minute of it. It sounds like despite your feelings, you are doing your best and that is all you can do. Don't be afraid to reach out and get a bit of help with your depression, whether from a doctor or a therapist. It can make a world of difference. I don't know you, but I can almost guarentee that you are not messing up their whole lives. They will barely if at all remember this time period. Take care of yourself.0 -
Honestly, if you really feel like that, maybe stick to being that fabulous, awesome auntie or godmother, because in my experience (mother to 19, 18 & 14 year olds) the bolded stuff is overwhelmed by the other day to day stuff. Sometimes the day to day stuff is awesome, sometimes it's meh, and sometimes it truly sucks.smashley_mashley wrote: »
Awe, I'm sorry you feel that way. That is quite the confession. *hugs*
I confess that I don't know if I want to be a mother. When I was younger, I always wanted a big family - 4 kids or so. Now that I am 29 and the more I get established in my career and see the fruits of my job (mostly putting money into savings) I don't know if I want the responsibility. There are parts of being a mom that I really want, such as doing crafts, going to kid movies, Halloween/Christmas/Easter - the fun stuff. But I don't know if I can handle all the other stuff, such as getting up in the middle of the night for feedings, changing diapers, dealing with sick/vomity kids, bratty meltdowns in stores, being annoyed when I just want me time.
I feel selfish because I just want the fun stuff but not the whole package.
My sister's best friend is a 50 something career woman who never had kids and she picks and chooses what she wants to do with her nieces and nephews and also my sisters kids. This has included trips to Disneyland and other fun places. Win-win.
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I don't think that's uncommon. Hugs to you and I hope you feel better soon. Make sure you're not giving so much that there's nothing left for you.
Here's something I've never confessed IRL before...
I don't enjoy parenting. I don't think I was meant to be a mum.
Don't get me wrong, I love my boys with all my heart. I give all of myself to them to ensure they feel loved, are happy and healthy.
But I just don't think I was cut out for it. I've had pretty severe postnatal depression since my first was born 3 years ago and I'm sure that contributes, but I do wonder if its just my personality. Also, I carry a lot of guilt over my depression, its so unfair to them and I worry I'm messing up their whole lives
Aaaaaaaand now I want to cover my feelings in food.
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »
I judge you back, they're soulmates!! (Well, beside peanut butter and chocolate...... I don't know which one I love more!)
I do not mind mint chocolate (although I have to be in the mood for it), but I LOVE peanut butter and chocolate, in all forms! Kit Kat Chunky peanut butter is amazing! My biggest weakness is Haagan Dazs Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream.....I can NEVER eat that in proper portions lol. I have also been known to bake chocolate brownies with cut up pieces of snickers peanut butter in them.....0 -
I love mint and chocolate except for peppermint patties. Yum.0
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@pofoster21 - how are you doing?? Where are you? I have been thinking about you and how you are handling the loss of your horse.....hope you are ok!!
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berlynnwall wrote: »
I think more people than you realize feel this way at least sometimes, but it's so hard to find someone to talk to about it because people act like you are the devil incarnate if you even suggest that parenting isn't fun all day every day, let alone admit that you don't really like it.
What I want to say to you is this: If you have two (or more?) kids 3 and under, you are at one of the hardest parts and it is totally understandable to not enjoy every minute of it. It sounds like despite your feelings, you are doing your best and that is all you can do. Don't be afraid to reach out and get a bit of help with your depression, whether from a doctor or a therapist. It can make a world of difference. I don't know you, but I can almost guarentee that you are not messing up their whole lives. They will barely if at all remember this time period. Take care of yourself.
Thanks berlynnwall, you're very kind
Its all very intense and all consuming, Mr 10 months still nurses heaps overnight so I'm betting chronic sleep deprivation doesn't help
It is hard to be honest with people because yes, you are seen as the devil incarnate by some lol
It felt good to get that off my chest though! And now to snuggle in our family bed and appreciate how even though I get no personal space, they are nice and warm on this chilly night!
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berlynnwall wrote: »
Is that real? Gross!
LMAO it sure looks real to me. (Probably isn't)
BUT.... with the recent exploitation of kickstarters & gofundme pages. The DREAM could quite possibly become a REALITY. Keep hope alive. (And by that I mean the opposite.... please God don't create such an abomination)
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You know it's not a good sign when the dude gives you that look.0 -
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Best post ever!!!!! I sneak eat chips when I wake up to feed the baby so no one sees or hears me! Shhhhhh! I and I don't log them either..... I have problem....0
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Some people talk for the simple sake of hearing their own mouth run. LMAO >_<
Yes, yes they do. Unfortunately the people I know that do this are clients so I have to just continue to smile and nod until they are done. Family or friends? Nope. I'll interject or excuse myself. Cannot waste time listening to someone yammering on just for the sake of hearing their own voice.0 -
When I first started tracking I bought a scale at Walmart (because I was there) and kept getting an E reading. Found out I was too fat for the scale. I returned it the next day and when my (annoyed) fiancé asked why I was dragging him back to Walmart, I said that the scale gave me five different readings, so it must be broken.
Lmao I would soooo do this!!!!!
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Italian_Buju wrote: »
I do not mind mint chocolate (although I have to be in the mood for it), but I LOVE peanut butter and chocolate, in all forms! Kit Kat Chunky peanut butter is amazing! My biggest weakness is Haagan Dazs Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream.....I can NEVER eat that in proper portions lol. I have also been known to bake chocolate brownies with cut up pieces of snickers peanut butter in them.....
Kit Kat Chunky peanut butter? Sounds amazing!! I don't think we get them here, though that's probably a good thing... 0 -
smashley_mashley wrote: »
Awe, I'm sorry you feel that way. That is quite the confession. *hugs*
I confess that I don't know if I want to be a mother. When I was younger, I always wanted a big family - 4 kids or so. Now that I am 29 and the more I get established in my career and see the fruits of my job (mostly putting money into savings) I don't know if I want the responsibility. There are parts of being a mom that I really want, such as doing crafts, going to kid movies, Halloween/Christmas/Easter - the fun stuff. But I don't know if I can handle all the other stuff, such as getting up in the middle of the night for feedings, changing diapers, dealing with sick/vomity kids, bratty meltdowns in stores, being annoyed when I just want me time.
I feel selfish because I just want the fun stuff but not the whole package.
Not selfish at all! Good for you for thinking about it ahead of time. Why not be a mentor? Be a "Big Sister". There are SO many children out there in need of just what you want to provide! That would be awesome of you.0 -
Here's something I've never confessed IRL before...
I don't enjoy parenting. I don't think I was meant to be a mum.
Don't get me wrong, I love my boys with all my heart. I give all of myself to them to ensure they feel loved, are happy and healthy.
But I just don't think I was cut out for it. I've had pretty severe postnatal depression since my first was born 3 years ago and I'm sure that contributes, but I do wonder if its just my personality. Also, I carry a lot of guilt over my depression, its so unfair to them and I worry I'm messing up their whole lives
Aaaaaaaand now I want to cover my feelings in food.
I have 4 tho I don't suffer from on depression it's hard! Add me and we can chat!!
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Here's something I've never confessed IRL before...
I don't enjoy parenting. I don't think I was meant to be a mum.
Don't get me wrong, I love my boys with all my heart. I give all of myself to them to ensure they feel loved, are happy and healthy.
But I just don't think I was cut out for it. I've had pretty severe postnatal depression since my first was born 3 years ago and I'm sure that contributes, but I do wonder if its just my personality. Also, I carry a lot of guilt over my depression, its so unfair to them and I worry I'm messing up their whole lives
Aaaaaaaand now I want to cover my feelings in food.
Same here. Sometimes I read how people feel about their kids but it seems I'm always so busy playing referral or cooking or packing lunches or doing laundry or cleaning their mess and trying not to go crazy that I don't really get to enjoy it. Or how new parents love their babies so much while I was just so exhausted from having 2 at once that I just wanted some time alone!
Oh and people who are so sad when Summer break is over. Are you kidding me? I want to celebrate. Tears of joy the first day of school. Seriously.
Then I see all those couples still so much in love after 10 years and it's definitely not me either so I'm thinking it's a problem with me. But to be fair, I don't like little kids. They're gross and messy and loud. LOL. When I envisioned being a parent, I was more looking forward to the teen/tween age, when we start to be able to enjoy more 'adult' things together - walks, hiking, day trips, sightseeing, more interesting movies etc (and I know that's going to bite me in the *** later because I know that that age is no walk in the park either). Doing crafts and kids games and family movies etc... really not my thing (ok, I like Disney... to an extent).
Ok Christmas and Easter are fun the first 30 minutes, then it's more mess, wrapping paper and packaging and toys everywhere.... lol. I mean, we do have some great days, but pretty much everything comes accompanied by 'I'm hungry', 'my feet hurt', 'I'm bored', 'I want to go home', 'waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa'. Facebook perfect family pictures? Hardly what it's really like. Although I guess that it depends on your kids. I have a happy one, and I have a whiner. Let's say that on the rare occasions that the whiner was busy at a party or something and we had the happy one, it was much more enjoyable.
I confess that sometimes I daydream about going away ALONE for a week.0 -
I'm 24 and I've never wanted kids. Too much responsibility and expensive.0
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Thanks berlynnwall, you're very kind
Its all very intense and all consuming, Mr 10 months still nurses heaps overnight so I'm betting chronic sleep deprivation doesn't help
It is hard to be honest with people because yes, you are seen as the devil incarnate by some lol
It felt good to get that off my chest though! And now to snuggle in our family bed and appreciate how even though I get no personal space, they are nice and warm on this chilly night!
Sleep deprivation never helps. I know from experience that this time feels like it will never end, but it does. It so does. Is there any way you could get more breaks? I know your kids are little, but taking even a few hours to yourself once a week can really be a life saver, even if you just use them to take a nap.0 -
Yes, yes they do. Unfortunately the people I know that do this are clients so I have to just continue to smile and nod until they are done. Family or friends? Nope. I'll interject or excuse myself. Cannot waste time listening to someone yammering on just for the sake of hearing their own voice.
That reminds me of a family member. You have to set aside a block of time to take a phone call from her. She will literally talk to you for 4+ hours if you don't manufacture some excuse to get off the phone. I stick to email. I write her one 4 sentence email, she sends me back 7 pages, but at least I can answer in my own time.0 -
Same here. Sometimes I read how people feel about their kids but it seems I'm always so busy playing referral or cooking or packing lunches or doing laundry or cleaning their mess and trying not to go crazy that I don't really get to enjoy it. Or how new parents love their babies so much while I was just so exhausted from having 2 at once that I just wanted some time alone!
Oh and people who are so sad when Summer break is over. Are you kidding me? I want to celebrate. Tears of joy the first day of school. Seriously.
Then I see all those couples still so much in love after 10 years and it's definitely not me either so I'm thinking it's a problem with me. But to be fair, I don't like little kids. They're gross and messy and loud. LOL. When I envisioned being a parent, I was more looking forward to the teen/tween age, when we start to be able to enjoy more 'adult' things together - walks, hiking, day trips, sightseeing, more interesting movies etc (and I know that's going to bite me in the *** later because I know that that age is no walk in the park either). Doing crafts and kids games and family movies etc... really not my thing (ok, I like Disney... to an extent).
Ok Christmas and Easter are fun the first 30 minutes, then it's more mess, wrapping paper and packaging and toys everywhere.... lol. I mean, we do have some great days, but pretty much everything comes accompanied by 'I'm hungry', 'my feet hurt', 'I'm bored', 'I want to go home', 'waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa'. Facebook perfect family pictures? Hardly what it's really like. Although I guess that it depends on your kids. I have a happy one, and I have a whiner. Let's say that on the rare occasions that the whiner was busy at a party or something and we had the happy one, it was much more enjoyable.
I confess that sometimes I daydream about going away ALONE for a week.
Those people. Ugh. I am like making a countdown chart by the beginning of August.
You should totally go away for a week. You sound burnt out, and if it's a possibility for you you should get the heck out of there. You'll all benefit from you getting a break.0 -
Aren't the kit kat chunky the same exact thing as the big kats?
I'll have to check them out but I didn't think so. Now I'll have to go buy one of those and taste test is against a chunky kit kat!0 -
Yesterday was the lowest low I have hit in what feels like years, I just felt so alone and had a full on emotional breakdown over laundry that my SO didn't put away right when I asked him to. I ate my feelings and don't even want to try and estimate the damage I did. But! Today is another day and I feel a lot better, I've been chugging water and ginger tea to combat with the bloat.
My confession: when I finally crawl out of the rabbit hole that I fell into, I'm terrified. I push away everyone that loves me and can't give them a real reason for why. Bleh! Life is hard guys.0 -
OH MY GOD! You had me, I really want to know what happens. You must do it! I think they are mostly around at Christmas time.
......
I'm doing it. I'm going to hunt them down now and I'm going to do it...
Do it, do it! I NEED to know how this turns out. I should hunt for them too.... 0
Reeses Pieces, Cadbury's Picnic bar, Jaffa Cakes, and a cookie. I also didn't go to the gym or go for a run after work. Then I thought it would be a great idea to weigh myself this morning and I'm back up to 214lbs. So I went for a swim this morning and finished 5 minutes early. I feel really tired, and I think my 'go to' is sugar. I feel like having a nap at my desk right now and its only 9.50am. 
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