Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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I sort of sew. I have not made anything in years. I am modifying two patterns and making my own rules to try to make this for Halloween. I start tonight by opening the patterns and figuring out how I'm putting this together. I have muslin to try a "first draft". My SO already has his costume... (I kinda love how on top of things he is - he's a great planner and I love that).
I am not at all sure how to insert a picture so I'll try this. This is where I got it (link below)
http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2865/12166911576_0057e5f269_c.jpg
Edit to add - I'm excited. I have lots of time to make mistakes and learn and then find a close fabric match.
edit to add again - my hair is just about that length and color naturally - but bone straight. I'll have to get it done. I suppose I should start shopping for a tiara. I am looking forward to playing Princess Buttercup. Years ago a neighbor called me Buttercup instead of my name. I don't look like Robin Wright but with the dress, the hair, and a man in Dread Pirate Roberts get-up next to me I think we'll be recognizable. If only I had an ROUS.
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rungirl1973 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »[="Francl27;32842296"]I confess that after hearing everyone butchering my name, I just decided to use very common and traditional names for my kids. And also considered changing my name when I got my US citizenship a year ago... just decided against it because I didn't want more paperwork.
Even though I had a popular name, I named my kids traditional names. I tried not to give them a top 10 name like mine, but I did choose regular names with regular spellings. I 100% don't judge what other parents do. I feel like I have to say that. Not judgmental!
Also, I don't plan to change my last name since being married. My oldest has my last name and I feel like it would be pretty crappy to leave him as the only one with that name. Also, I don't care about that particular tradition and my husband doesn't care either. We know we are married.
My husband would love if I change mine, but I've had this last name for 43 years. The different last name is just not me.
If that makes sense.
It makes sense to me!
I changed my maiden to married name only to help with immigration - I had never intended to change my name. I am STILL changing it back two + years after the divorce. It is a hassle and involves sending original documents all over the place and providing documentation that I am the same person. I like my original name better. I would like to marry again given the right man (SO may be it but I'm in no hurry and I want to do it right if I do it at all) but I will not change my name again. My name is part of my professional identity and I was even able to get my degree issued in my maiden name (whoo hooo!). So while in private I would be ok with Mrs. Future Husband (if there is one) in my work life and on legal documents I remain Dr. Nonoelmo.
I didn't change my name when I got married, but I did change it when I made the move to this job last year. The old name was the same as my kids' last name, but they're grown now so it isn't a big deal to fill out school forms and such. I wasn't attached to the old last name, and I haven't had my maiden name since 1993 so I changed it.
Edited to try to fix the quotes, but they refuse to be fixed.[/quote]
I know this is my own personal issue, but I always feel like I need to point out that my daughter is adopted because her last name is different from mine......I know its not a big deal in this day and age, but the fact that she is older than my son, and has a different last name makes me feel awkward if I do not explain.....0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Ok so folks that remember the litany of cats in my life... Porch Kitty showed up today with...3 kittens. God help me.
Oh no! I went through a period where every animal I had was somehow pregnant. I rescued a cat whose owners just moved out of our apartment building and left her - she gave birth to three kittens about a month later.
Then, I adopted a hamster from the pet store. The next morning I heard a strange noise and low and behold she had given birth overnight, which was weird because they supposedly separate them by gender in the store. I guess I can't blame them though - because it's pretty hard to tell. After they were weaned I bought a separate cage for the boys, and one of the girls still somehow got pregnant again before I could find homes for all of them. I felt like a hamster mill.
Your house has obviously been blessed by the fertility gods! 0 -
pearso21123 wrote: »I just finished reading the "You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?" thread and now am feeling very grateful for my friends and family. I have only had good comments about my weight loss, so far. Of course, I still have a long ways to go. But man, reading that thread made me realize how rude and unsupportive some people are.
I first got down to my normal weight nearly 20 years ago. I went from around 500 to around 175. People who didn't recognize me treated me completely differently than they did when I was big. I got smiles and courtesy, doors held open - and I don't mean flirting, it was men and women, any ages, the way they treated me was night and day. People who were absolutely cold and wouldn't acknowledge me before would go out of their way to say hi.
Overall, I'd say that had a far bigger impact on me than the random "you need to eat a hot pocket" type comments I'd get once in a while. I'm very distrustful of people in general, now. It takes a very long time before I decide if they're actually a nice person, or if they're a "nice as long as you fit my cookie cutter mold" person. Outside of some dysfunctional family relationships, most of the comments like those in that thread will stop after people get used to seeing the smaller version of the person, but the really rude and unsupportive people are far more subtle.
the massive difference in ppl i experienced after losing 100lbs was ridiculous, i can't imagine how that must have been for you. it's made me even more bitter and cynical about people in general. because i can't help but think, how different would i be if for my whole life people just treated me like a normal person and were nice? or even just decent?
Gosh that sucks, I'm sorry y'all must have just encountered some pretty *kitten* people
I can't believe people treat others that way because of their size it's so mind boggling to me!
Until yesterday, there was a subreddit on reddit called fatpeoplehate. It had over 100k members around the world. They would comb MFP and sparkpeople and instagram for people's before pictures, post them in their group, and make fun of them. Some of the really dedicated ones would track those people down on social media and harass them directly. It finally got nuked yesterday because they posted the names/addresses/etc of the owners of Imgur, in retaliation for Imgur removing some of fph's stolen images from their website.
Today, those 100k+ members are running around the internet protesting the violation of their "free speech" to harass people and steal their pictures, while some others are complaining because they considered those stolen images and the millions of posts making fun of them to be good inspiration for their own weight loss.
There are a lot of screwed up people in the world.
What is wrong with people... seriously. It just makes me sad
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I sort of sew. I have not made anything in years. I am modifying two patterns and making my own rules to try to make this for Halloween. I start tonight by opening the patterns and figuring out how I'm putting this together. I have muslin to try a "first draft". My SO already has his costume... (I kinda love how on top of things he is - he's a great planner and I love that).
I am not at all sure how to insert a picture so I'll try this. This is where I got it (link below)
http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2865/12166911576_0057e5f269_c.jpg
Edit to add - I'm excited. I have lots of time to make mistakes and learn and then find a close fabric match.
edit to add again - my hair is just about that length and color naturally - but bone straight. I'll have to get it done. I suppose I should start shopping for a tiara. I am looking forward to playing Princess Buttercup. Years ago a neighbor called me Buttercup instead of my name. I don't look like Robin Wright but with the dress, the hair, and a man in Dread Pirate Roberts get-up next to me I think we'll be recognizable. If only I had an ROUS.
For those of you who sew I'm using simplicity 1773 and 1551 as templates for various parts of this.0 -
Italian_Buju wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »[="Francl27;32842296"]I confess that after hearing everyone butchering my name, I just decided to use very common and traditional names for my kids. And also considered changing my name when I got my US citizenship a year ago... just decided against it because I didn't want more paperwork.
Even though I had a popular name, I named my kids traditional names. I tried not to give them a top 10 name like mine, but I did choose regular names with regular spellings. I 100% don't judge what other parents do. I feel like I have to say that. Not judgmental!
Also, I don't plan to change my last name since being married. My oldest has my last name and I feel like it would be pretty crappy to leave him as the only one with that name. Also, I don't care about that particular tradition and my husband doesn't care either. We know we are married.
My husband would love if I change mine, but I've had this last name for 43 years. The different last name is just not me.
If that makes sense.
It makes sense to me!
I changed my maiden to married name only to help with immigration - I had never intended to change my name. I am STILL changing it back two + years after the divorce. It is a hassle and involves sending original documents all over the place and providing documentation that I am the same person. I like my original name better. I would like to marry again given the right man (SO may be it but I'm in no hurry and I want to do it right if I do it at all) but I will not change my name again. My name is part of my professional identity and I was even able to get my degree issued in my maiden name (whoo hooo!). So while in private I would be ok with Mrs. Future Husband (if there is one) in my work life and on legal documents I remain Dr. Nonoelmo.
I didn't change my name when I got married, but I did change it when I made the move to this job last year. The old name was the same as my kids' last name, but they're grown now so it isn't a big deal to fill out school forms and such. I wasn't attached to the old last name, and I haven't had my maiden name since 1993 so I changed it.
Edited to try to fix the quotes, but they refuse to be fixed.
I know this is my own personal issue, but I always feel like I need to point out that my daughter is adopted because her last name is different from mine......I know its not a big deal in this day and age, but the fact that she is older than my son, and has a different last name makes me feel awkward if I do not explain.....[/quote]
I understand. The only reason I was not going to change my name was that I would no longer have the last name of my kids, but then a lightbulb went off in my head that of all people on this earth my kids know who I am and my having a different name would not change that. I have not felt any need to explain even when I call the school and say, Hi, this is Nonoelmo the mother of Daughter Differentlastname. I actually like it now that we have different names.
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I put a movie on, made it less than 5 minutes in, then came on here. The movie has been paused for over 15 minutes. I'm so terrible about watching movies at home. It'll take me 2 1/2 hours to watch a 90 minute movie
At least I'm by myself.
This is why I like going to the movies cause theres nothing to distract me and I can actually focus on whats going on
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I am a emotional eater. Sometimes I throw up after I eat too much and feel *kitten*. I am trying this fitness pal thing, like my doc suggested. But old habits die hard!0
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Sometimes I eat an entire package of spaghetti, with just salt and margarine. An entire package. SMDH0
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rungirl1973 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).
*Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.
I remember that. It always stinks to lose a friendship. It was your day.
Also, never loan money to a friend. I have been without one of my best friends for years because I loaned her something like $600 in 2004 (which I never saw again, even though she took her kids to Cancun with her tax refund a few months after the loan). Honestly, I don't even care about that money. We've been trying to rebuild the friendship over the past couple of years, and it's been really tough - even harder because I don't live in the same town anymore.
i lost my best friend about 10 years ago over trivial crap. we went to high school together, college together, shared an apartment at one point and were basically joined at the hip.
i loaned her money so we could go see tori amos together and she paid me back, so all cool. she wanted to go to more shows and i was always in charge of getting the tickets. even though i was only making minimum wage at the time, i had the stupidity of youth on my side and a discover card in my pocket, so i could always come through. two shows popped up that were in the 2-3 hour away range and i bought the tickets for us. i'd also loaned her money for a concert t-shirt and a bunch of books she wanted. about a week before the concert she tells me she can't go, doesn't have the money. didn't really seem to care that the tickets were already paid for. got in a massive fight on the phone and i got really frustrated and hung up on her.
i tried calling her the next day but she wouldn't answer the phone. i left her messages saying that even though she didn't have the money, i still had the tickets, so we might as well go and have fun. no reply. also, prior to the fight, i had entered an essay contest to have our seats upgraded to the front row at the show, then found out after the fight that i had won. but me still being a total doormat wanted to surprise her with the upgrade, so i kept leaving her messages alluding to how totally awesome this show was going to be. i probably left her about a dozen messages, up to the morning of the show. no answer, no reply. i tried calling her from my phone at work, she answered (not knowing the number) i said hi, and she hung up.
i waited a few months and sent her a couple emails. nothing. then after a couple years i tried reaching out to her again...nothing. i never heard another word from her. i still miss her
That's insane....something else must have been going on in her world, as that is nowhere near a normal response....0 -
muddnwoman4x4 wrote: »I am a emotional eater. Sometimes I throw up after I eat too much and feel *kitten*. I am trying this fitness pal thing, like my doc suggested. But old habits die hard!
Are you seeing someone for counseling about it? I had binge issues, and the therapist helped, in large part to coming up with habits to stop them.0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »I'm out, peeps! Leaving work, heading camping. Catching up Monday will be interesting!
I hope you have a blast!!0 -
kellienw335 wrote: »rungirl1973 wrote: »berlynnwall wrote: »So, I don't know if anyone remembers my wedding drama from way back in April*, but the short story is that my "best friend" would rather never talk to me again that work out our issues. I feel like I've broken up with a spouse. She and I have been friends longer than I've known my husband. I don't even really understand how she got this mad, and she won't tell me. And that is why I'm taking the Boo Radley challenge (not really, but I'm very sad).
*Cliff notes: She was helping me plan, I decided to elope for many valid reasons, she couldn't make it, she felt I cut her out.
I remember that. It always stinks to lose a friendship. It was your day.
Also, never loan money to a friend. I have been without one of my best friends for years because I loaned her something like $600 in 2004 (which I never saw again, even though she took her kids to Cancun with her tax refund a few months after the loan). Honestly, I don't even care about that money. We've been trying to rebuild the friendship over the past couple of years, and it's been really tough - even harder because I don't live in the same town anymore.
i lost my best friend about 10 years ago over trivial crap. we went to high school together, college together, shared an apartment at one point and were basically joined at the hip.
i loaned her money so we could go see tori amos together and she paid me back, so all cool. she wanted to go to more shows and i was always in charge of getting the tickets. even though i was only making minimum wage at the time, i had the stupidity of youth on my side and a discover card in my pocket, so i could always come through. two shows popped up that were in the 2-3 hour away range and i bought the tickets for us. i'd also loaned her money for a concert t-shirt and a bunch of books she wanted. about a week before the concert she tells me she can't go, doesn't have the money. didn't really seem to care that the tickets were already paid for. got in a massive fight on the phone and i got really frustrated and hung up on her.
i tried calling her the next day but she wouldn't answer the phone. i left her messages saying that even though she didn't have the money, i still had the tickets, so we might as well go and have fun. no reply. also, prior to the fight, i had entered an essay contest to have our seats upgraded to the front row at the show, then found out after the fight that i had won. but me still being a total doormat wanted to surprise her with the upgrade, so i kept leaving her messages alluding to how totally awesome this show was going to be. i probably left her about a dozen messages, up to the morning of the show. no answer, no reply. i tried calling her from my phone at work, she answered (not knowing the number) i said hi, and she hung up.
i waited a few months and sent her a couple emails. nothing. then after a couple years i tried reaching out to her again...nothing. i never heard another word from her. i still miss her
I had a friend since grade school, I moved around a little bit after high school and finally settled in South Carolina. She stayed in our small town in Illinois. I was always the one making the effort to keep in touch. Finally about 6 years ago in my early 30s I called and told her that I was tired of being the one that made the effort all the time, we talked for awhile and she promised that she would be better. Told her I loved her and I'd let her call me next time. Haven't talked to her since. Still makes me sad.
WOW0 -
pearso21123 wrote: »I just finished reading the "You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?" thread and now am feeling very grateful for my friends and family. I have only had good comments about my weight loss, so far. Of course, I still have a long ways to go. But man, reading that thread made me realize how rude and unsupportive some people are.
I first got down to my normal weight nearly 20 years ago. I went from around 500 to around 175. People who didn't recognize me treated me completely differently than they did when I was big. I got smiles and courtesy, doors held open - and I don't mean flirting, it was men and women, any ages, the way they treated me was night and day. People who were absolutely cold and wouldn't acknowledge me before would go out of their way to say hi.
Overall, I'd say that had a far bigger impact on me than the random "you need to eat a hot pocket" type comments I'd get once in a while. I'm very distrustful of people in general, now. It takes a very long time before I decide if they're actually a nice person, or if they're a "nice as long as you fit my cookie cutter mold" person. Outside of some dysfunctional family relationships, most of the comments like those in that thread will stop after people get used to seeing the smaller version of the person, but the really rude and unsupportive people are far more subtle.
the massive difference in ppl i experienced after losing 100lbs was ridiculous, i can't imagine how that must have been for you. it's made me even more bitter and cynical about people in general. because i can't help but think, how different would i be if for my whole life people just treated me like a normal person and were nice? or even just decent?
Gosh that sucks, I'm sorry y'all must have just encountered some pretty *kitten* people I can't believe people treat others that way because of their size it's so mind boggling to me!
Until yesterday, there was a subreddit on reddit called fatpeoplehate. It had over 100k members around the world. They would comb MFP and sparkpeople and instagram for people's before pictures, post them in their group, and make fun of them. Some of the really dedicated ones would track those people down on social media and harass them directly. It finally got nuked yesterday because they posted the names/addresses/etc of the owners of Imgur, in retaliation for Imgur removing some of fph's stolen images from their website.
Today, those 100k+ members are running around the internet protesting the violation of their "free speech" to harass people and steal their pictures, while some others are complaining because they considered those stolen images and the millions of posts making fun of them to be good inspiration for their own weight loss.
There are a lot of screwed up people in the world.
W. T. F.0 -
kellienw335 wrote: »Ok, so this may seem like a dumb question, but why do some people's profile pics look like they are in jail?
What?0 -
kellienw335 wrote: »Ok, so this may seem like a dumb question, but why do some people's profile pics look like they are in jail?
They're on 3 warning points for breaking forum rules. When the time runs out on the warnings, the bars go away.
OK, what, WHAT?0 -
xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »pearso21123 wrote: »I just finished reading the "You're too skinny!" Do others ever make you question your maintenance weight?" thread and now am feeling very grateful for my friends and family. I have only had good comments about my weight loss, so far. Of course, I still have a long ways to go. But man, reading that thread made me realize how rude and unsupportive some people are.
I first got down to my normal weight nearly 20 years ago. I went from around 500 to around 175. People who didn't recognize me treated me completely differently than they did when I was big. I got smiles and courtesy, doors held open - and I don't mean flirting, it was men and women, any ages, the way they treated me was night and day. People who were absolutely cold and wouldn't acknowledge me before would go out of their way to say hi.
Overall, I'd say that had a far bigger impact on me than the random "you need to eat a hot pocket" type comments I'd get once in a while. I'm very distrustful of people in general, now. It takes a very long time before I decide if they're actually a nice person, or if they're a "nice as long as you fit my cookie cutter mold" person. Outside of some dysfunctional family relationships, most of the comments like those in that thread will stop after people get used to seeing the smaller version of the person, but the really rude and unsupportive people are far more subtle.
the massive difference in ppl i experienced after losing 100lbs was ridiculous, i can't imagine how that must have been for you. it's made me even more bitter and cynical about people in general. because i can't help but think, how different would i be if for my whole life people just treated me like a normal person and were nice? or even just decent?
Gosh that sucks, I'm sorry y'all must have just encountered some pretty *kitten* people I can't believe people treat others that way because of their size it's so mind boggling to me!
The difference between my highest weight and lowest (which at the time, I'd lost 160 lbs) was insane. People held doors for me, looked me in the eye, listened to my opinion, etc. I was invisible when I was fat. It sucked and I actually went through a stage where I was mad at everyone for not giving me the time of day when I was fat and being all over me skinny. And I noticed as the weight came back on and I was eventually 40 lbs heavier than my lowest, people were starting to be ruder, not hold doors, notice me less, etc.
yep. i've noticed over the past year i've started to become invisible again....
I wanted to respond but have to think about my thoughts on this. (I may ramble.)
1 When I was heavier I wanted and tried to be invisible. I'm sure I personally behaved differently than when I was not heavier. I was 152% of what I am now and more than a dozen sizes bigger if that gives some perspective to what size I was or if it even matters. I am only speaking of my experience here.
2 I am short - not even five feet tall and I am hmm, what is a descriptive word, non-threatening looking. (They have no idea how strong and powerful I am inside!) The size is another place where people (some) purposely ignore and don't see you. I am cut in front of in line a lot. Sometimes (as in recently) I was not in a hurry and just wanted to observe the person doing the cutting. The first person cut and I watched her closely. She was uncomfortable and I was amused secretly. When the second person tried to cut I spoke up. I was VERY clearly in line and she stood behind me for a solid five minutes. When I firmly said, I was here first, her reply was "oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you. (BS, she was 2 feet behind me in line.) The kind of funny part is that this was in the PETITE section of the store so no-one was all that tall, but most are more than 4'11".
So I wonder if it is just rudeness in general and when a person perceives whatever about a person and makes assumptions then they rationalize their rude behavior?
Again, I'm small, pleasant in dealing with (most) people. I am also very calm in an emergency. After my son's second open heart surgery (WARNING FOR THE Squeamish - skip this paragraph) they removed one of the main-line IV's that he's had. It was on his arm very high up near his armpit. It didn't clot as much as the nurse thought and pretty quickly after it started to bleed a lot. I grabbed his arm and applied pressure (he was 3 years old). The circumstances were such that I could not move (he was attached to lines) to push the call button. I was in a room near the nurses station. I called out "I need some help in here, he's bleeding" (nothing, chatting continued.) I tried this several times. I was not panicked but no one was coming to help, they continued their conversation. I was not worried but it was time to get some assistance as I was in an awkward position and my hand stopping the bleeding was a temporary measure so I put on the freaked out mom voice "My son is gushing blood" and INSTANTLY three nurses stopped their chatting and rushed in to help. It bothered me that I was ignored until I acted upset. The volume of my voice had been the same each time, it was the tone of voice that changed.
So I'm short and non-threatening/pleasant looking. I go by my first name almost all the time but when I want to cut through and get things moving quickly or if I'm dealing with customer service (or when I'm dealing with a new customer for the first time) I pull out the doctor title. It is amazing how people's attitutes change. I'm the same freaking person but put a title in front of me and I get way more respect and better customer service.
I dress up (sort of) most of the time. I love little comfortable dresses and sandals all summer long. They are more comfortable than shorts but have the bonus of people assuming I'm dressed up. People respond to me differently when I'm in a dress than when I'm in shorts and a t-shirt. (Hair and makeup being the same). I like the comfort of the dresses but I also like the niceties that dressing well brings out in people. (I'm on a budget so I don't spend much to dress the way I do.) The difference between dresses and shorts is amazing! These are just simple little summery dresses that are as comfortable as pajamas and cooler than shorts but doors get opened, people smile and talk, etc.
I guess some or maybe a lot or maybe all of us make assumptions about people and treat people accordingly whether it be weight or height or gender or the manner of dress, etc.. I try to treat everyone with common decency but I'm sure there have been times when I've failed (PMS or whatever).
I don't have a clear cut point or a solution. Reading over this I can summerize that when I was heavy I tried to disappear and didn't want interactions so I can't remember if I felt people treated me differently. I know I acted as if I was in retreat from people more. I know that some people use whatever assumptions about other people (short and probably non-confrontational in my case) to try to get away with rude behavior. I know that at the same weight I get treated very differently depending upon if I'm wearing casual wear, casual dresses or business suits. I also know that whatever I'm wearing if I'm smiling and outgoing I get a different reaction from people than if I'm quiet and not smiling.
I'm sorry you are not being treated the way you should be treated. I wish I understood human nature more.
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