Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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AngryViking1970 wrote: »Holy smokes, you guys! I thought this thread slowed down on the weekends. LOL I have work to do!!! I also have an interview this afternoon for a promotion here, so if you could spare any extra mojo, I'd appreciate it!
*slinks off to catch up*
Good luck in your interview you'll do super great!0 -
xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »Coastalpath wrote: »This is long so don't expect people to read it - just need to get it out!
Like a lot of other posters here I am going through lots of life stresses at the moment and the last few days have felt very sad, numb and unmotivated. I am ever so slightly eating my feelings 'grief bacon' but am logging it all so I can see it in black and white. My confession today is that I am fed up with never feeling as though I am allowed to be stressed or upset. Work, home, health are all suffering at the moment, but I am just expected to suck it up. If one more person says to me 'it could be worse' I might scream. I am silently screaming and unfortunately the pain is beginning to show on my face. I know things could be worse, just doesn't mean that because someone somewhere has it worse than me that I just have to 'be fine' all the time.
Dealing with mixed emotions is so hard - so happy for friends and loved ones who have fantastic things happening, mixed with my grief and sadness for what I am secretly going through. Not wanting to see friends because I don't want to make them miserable mixed with worrying I am not being a good friend by seeing them and sharing in their joys. Or, worse, that I am making them feel guilty for being happy.
Feels better to 'get it out' but I am so sad at the moment and I just wonder when bad things will stop happening!
Your feelings are valid. What you are going through is real and it is difficult for you. We understand and I am sure we have all been there at some point. You ARE allowed to feel this way and you ARE allowed to vent.
Yup. This! Hugs to you.
Coastal (responding to the first post since I never saw it) I feel the same. I pretty much feel like I'm drowning. I'm expected to be the rock for everyone, and most of the time I stoically am. But times like right now, I just want to scream and cry and throw a fit. I want someone to comfort ME and no one is. I'm supposed to hold it together and do 1,000 different things well every day, without fail or exception.
I joke with people a lot that it sucks to be me, because I don't get a "down day", but it's true. I'm expected to be on point 24/7 and I'm struggling. I get the "count your blessings" and "it could be worse" a LOT. Yes, it could be. In the scheme of things, what bothers me could be construed as petty. It doesn't mean it hurts less or I'm less upset. I am grateful for what I have, but aren't I also allowed to be upset too?!
Warning- the below will make me sound like an ungrateful brat. I know this, but they are MY feelings. I'm working on processing them, but it takes time.
I found out on Saturday that good friends of ours (who have 2 boys about the same age as us) are wanting a 3rd. They want to try for a girl. They previously said they were done but the DH changed his mind. I went upstairs and cried. I have wanted 3 kids since I was little. DH said no, 2 was all he could take. He got a vasectomy last Nov so there will only be 2. I agreed because I don't believe in forcing someone to have more kids if they don't want to. I'm not the only one involved in the decision. DH also swore we could look into adopting, which helped ease my feelings about the V.
I have regretted it EVERY DAY since. When I see parents out with 3 or more kids, I'm envious. If one or more is a girl, I am so jealous. I want a daughter. I always have. I love my boys so much, but there is a part of me that will always hurt because I wanted a girl. Both times, the u/s tech told me they were girls and I was blissful for a few weeks until told they were boys. They will never know. I will NEVER tell them they aren't "enough" for me, because they are. I am grateful they are both here and healthy and I would NOT trade them for anything, but I feel a twinge every time I look at a girl or girl baby. DH has also now decided he doesn't want to adopt, so I feel a bit of a pang of "bait and switch" sometimes when I think about it. Mostly I want 3 kids, but not gonna lie, a girl would be awesome.
I feel so alone, because DH is d-o-n-e. 2 is enough for him, he doesn't remotely want a 3rd. Talking to him about it doesn't help, because he has a hard time sympathizing with me. Ok, so he joked around and said I could get a dog to "mother". I agreed. Now last night he is reneging and saying "well, we can get a dog when we get x, y, and z done around the house". This will literally be YEARS. He knows this. Bait and switch #2.
He also said I could look into getting a new car within the month. So I've been plotting out savings, trade-in value, etc. This past weekend he decided nope, my Jeep runs fine for now and maybe we'll think about it in 6 months. Bait and switch #3.
I'm frustrated, I'm sad, I feel like everything I want always comes last after everyone else, and yes I know this is all first world problems, but right now it's rough. On top of it, I'm dieting strictly, so I think I'm just in a funk and crabby from that too. It's the one thing I feel like I'm succeeding at, though, so I don't want to give it up. I have 10.5 lb to go. I'm SO close. I just want to accomplish Something, ya know?
*ok, sorry for the pathetic vent. Carry on*
This doesn't sound like a partnership to me, more like a dictatorship. This would not be OK with me. Hugs to you.0 -
confession: i'm attempting to "date" again...and it's seemingly terrible. i think staying home, getting drunk and dancing around my kitchen with the dogs might be a way better option.
went out with a dude on saturday evening. went to a local bar for beverages and chatting, and had a really fun time. i'd had a few dates previously that were kinda meh, so i thought ok cool, finally a fun time!
have some beverages, play a bunch of songs on the jukebox (are they still called that?), lots of fun convo and eventually the evening wears down and it's time to call it a night. and dude's like oh, i'm having such a good time with you, let's go back to your place to "snuggle" for a while. (and yes, he literally said snuggle).
ummm...no?
and he starts to get all huffy about it. and i'm like dude, i had a lot of fun on this FIRST date, but i think there should be a few more before i'm inviting you back to my place. and he starts freaking out, wanting to know how i couldn't trust him, he's such a good guy and just liked being with me so much he didn't see what the big deal was. he just wants to hold me and snuggle for awhile! so we argue back and forth about it for a few minutes and finally i say i'm done, have a good night and leave.
seriously? yeah because trying to guilt me into letting you come over to my place is an AWESOME first date.
then i get home and i have all these msg's from him saying he's leaving the dating website he found me on because he just can't handle how ppl are, and what was my problem that i couldn't trust him?!
well duh, we live in the same area, of course that makes him trustworthy!
sigh...
UGH Why are some men such crazies?! Seriously. Before I met my SO now I went out with a guy and I was so excited because he seemed totally normal and down to earth and the date was going so well! We did end up going back to my apartment (because we met at a bar right down the street from me and he already knew where I lived) and watched a movie. He got angry and I had to kick him out because I wouldn't sleep with him ON THE FIRST DATE!! Okay so if it felt right and people BOTH want to on the first date then hey it's your world who am I to judge? But to get angry with me because I'm not feeling it on the first date? Um no, CRAZY! Needless to say never saw him again. Sorry @KylerJaye but you have to get through the frogs to get to the prince!
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »Guys, remember that London Dairy new ice cream flavor I mentioned? The Red Velvet Cheesecake one? IT IS TO DIE FOR. Seriously. It's SO good! It has swirls of ooey gooey red velvet caramel-textured stuff, chunks of a dense, chewy red velvet cake, and generously sized chunks of cheesecake. The ice cream itself has a cream cheese-like taste, similar to cream cheese frosting but not as sweet or rich. SO GOOD.
The other two are okay. I'm just sad that the cheesecake one is finished because I shared it with my husband (he didn't like the other two).
Oh man oh man this sounds soooo yummy!!0 -
Stopping by to say I was totally judging the guy in my left who kept his elbow on the arm rest and ordered a gin at 7 am!!!!0
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@Coastalpath and @xLoveLikeWinterx I'm sorry you're both struggling right now- what you're feeling is perfectly acceptable as they're YOUR feelings, please don't let anyone try and tell you what you can and cannot feel. I totally understand the whole "it could be worse". Yes it could be but this is your reality and what you live in every day. I hope things pan out for both of you (((many hugs)))0
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Susieq_1994 wrote: »AngryViking1970 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Yeah, I'm just a leeetle bit older than you.
How are you managing with your Ramadan fasting?
Just an eeny bit, surely we can still be birthday almost-twins. So far so good! I've had my period for the last few days, so I haven't had to fast, but I'll start fasting again today since it finished off a few hours ago. 
And to answer the question before it gets asked: In Islam, it's prescribed in the Quran and hadith that women who have their periods are excused from fasting, most likely due to weakness and blood loss (I also think it's so we can eat during the day, since we tend to crave like crazy and be super-hungry...
); we're also excused from our five daily prayers during our periods. You aren't supposed to make up the prayers (most likely because you'd have like 35 prayers to pray if your period lasted five days!), but you do have to make up the fasts at another time, because it's obligatory to complete the full thirty days of fasting.
You know, I've learned more from you about Islam in the last few months than I have from anyone else anywhere for the last 45 years. LOL
And that makes me happy!
The more people learn about what Islam is REALLY about, the less ignorance and hate there will be everywhere. An awesome example is the lady here (sorry, can't remember which one of you it was!) who used my explanations to tell her mother more about Islam--my dawah spreads!
Your dawah truly does spread! I was sharing all this information with my husband this weekend. He thought it was all very interesting.
ETA: I can't believe your husband is a lurker and you never mentioned it before!0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »Coastalpath wrote: »This is long so don't expect people to read it - just need to get it out!
Like a lot of other posters here I am going through lots of life stresses at the moment and the last few days have felt very sad, numb and unmotivated. I am ever so slightly eating my feelings 'grief bacon' but am logging it all so I can see it in black and white. My confession today is that I am fed up with never feeling as though I am allowed to be stressed or upset. Work, home, health are all suffering at the moment, but I am just expected to suck it up. If one more person says to me 'it could be worse' I might scream. I am silently screaming and unfortunately the pain is beginning to show on my face. I know things could be worse, just doesn't mean that because someone somewhere has it worse than me that I just have to 'be fine' all the time.
Dealing with mixed emotions is so hard - so happy for friends and loved ones who have fantastic things happening, mixed with my grief and sadness for what I am secretly going through. Not wanting to see friends because I don't want to make them miserable mixed with worrying I am not being a good friend by seeing them and sharing in their joys. Or, worse, that I am making them feel guilty for being happy.
Feels better to 'get it out' but I am so sad at the moment and I just wonder when bad things will stop happening!
Your feelings are valid. What you are going through is real and it is difficult for you. We understand and I am sure we have all been there at some point. You ARE allowed to feel this way and you ARE allowed to vent.
Yup. This! Hugs to you.
Coastal (responding to the first post since I never saw it) I feel the same. I pretty much feel like I'm drowning. I'm expected to be the rock for everyone, and most of the time I stoically am. But times like right now, I just want to scream and cry and throw a fit. I want someone to comfort ME and no one is. I'm supposed to hold it together and do 1,000 different things well every day, without fail or exception.
I joke with people a lot that it sucks to be me, because I don't get a "down day", but it's true. I'm expected to be on point 24/7 and I'm struggling. I get the "count your blessings" and "it could be worse" a LOT. Yes, it could be. In the scheme of things, what bothers me could be construed as petty. It doesn't mean it hurts less or I'm less upset. I am grateful for what I have, but aren't I also allowed to be upset too?!
Warning- the below will make me sound like an ungrateful brat. I know this, but they are MY feelings. I'm working on processing them, but it takes time.
I found out on Saturday that good friends of ours (who have 2 boys about the same age as us) are wanting a 3rd. They want to try for a girl. They previously said they were done but the DH changed his mind. I went upstairs and cried. I have wanted 3 kids since I was little. DH said no, 2 was all he could take. He got a vasectomy last Nov so there will only be 2. I agreed because I don't believe in forcing someone to have more kids if they don't want to. I'm not the only one involved in the decision. DH also swore we could look into adopting, which helped ease my feelings about the V.
I have regretted it EVERY DAY since. When I see parents out with 3 or more kids, I'm envious. If one or more is a girl, I am so jealous. I want a daughter. I always have. I love my boys so much, but there is a part of me that will always hurt because I wanted a girl. Both times, the u/s tech told me they were girls and I was blissful for a few weeks until told they were boys. They will never know. I will NEVER tell them they aren't "enough" for me, because they are. I am grateful they are both here and healthy and I would NOT trade them for anything, but I feel a twinge every time I look at a girl or girl baby. DH has also now decided he doesn't want to adopt, so I feel a bit of a pang of "bait and switch" sometimes when I think about it. Mostly I want 3 kids, but not gonna lie, a girl would be awesome.
I feel so alone, because DH is d-o-n-e. 2 is enough for him, he doesn't remotely want a 3rd. Talking to him about it doesn't help, because he has a hard time sympathizing with me. Ok, so he joked around and said I could get a dog to "mother". I agreed. Now last night he is reneging and saying "well, we can get a dog when we get x, y, and z done around the house". This will literally be YEARS. He knows this. Bait and switch #2.
He also said I could look into getting a new car within the month. So I've been plotting out savings, trade-in value, etc. This past weekend he decided nope, my Jeep runs fine for now and maybe we'll think about it in 6 months. Bait and switch #3.
I'm frustrated, I'm sad, I feel like everything I want always comes last after everyone else, and yes I know this is all first world problems, but right now it's rough. On top of it, I'm dieting strictly, so I think I'm just in a funk and crabby from that too. It's the one thing I feel like I'm succeeding at, though, so I don't want to give it up. I have 10.5 lb to go. I'm SO close. I just want to accomplish Something, ya know?
*ok, sorry for the pathetic vent. Carry on*
This doesn't sound like a partnership to me, more like a dictatorship. This would not be OK with me. Hugs to you.
I'm so sorry for you! I'm kind of thinking the same thing that Quik said..
Sending hugs!0 -
AngryViking1970 wrote: »Holy smokes, you guys! I thought this thread slowed down on the weekends. LOL I have work to do!!! I also have an interview this afternoon for a promotion here, so if you could spare any extra mojo, I'd appreciate it!
*slinks off to catch up*
Good luck with your interview! You'll do super great!0 -
confession: i'm attempting to "date" again...and it's seemingly terrible. i think staying home, getting drunk and dancing around my kitchen with the dogs might be a way better option.
went out with a dude on saturday evening. went to a local bar for beverages and chatting, and had a really fun time. i'd had a few dates previously that were kinda meh, so i thought ok cool, finally a fun time!
have some beverages, play a bunch of songs on the jukebox (are they still called that?), lots of fun convo and eventually the evening wears down and it's time to call it a night. and dude's like oh, i'm having such a good time with you, let's go back to your place to "snuggle" for a while. (and yes, he literally said snuggle).
ummm...no?
and he starts to get all huffy about it. and i'm like dude, i had a lot of fun on this FIRST date, but i think there should be a few more before i'm inviting you back to my place. and he starts freaking out, wanting to know how i couldn't trust him, he's such a good guy and just liked being with me so much he didn't see what the big deal was. he just wants to hold me and snuggle for awhile! so we argue back and forth about it for a few minutes and finally i say i'm done, have a good night and leave.
seriously? yeah because trying to guilt me into letting you come over to my place is an AWESOME first date.
then i get home and i have all these msg's from him saying he's leaving the dating website he found me on because he just can't handle how ppl are, and what was my problem that i couldn't trust him?!
well duh, we live in the same area, of course that makes him trustworthy!
sigh...
Wow! Weirdo! There are good guys out there! Don't give up!0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »Coastalpath wrote: »This is long so don't expect people to read it - just need to get it out!
Like a lot of other posters here I am going through lots of life stresses at the moment and the last few days have felt very sad, numb and unmotivated. I am ever so slightly eating my feelings 'grief bacon' but am logging it all so I can see it in black and white. My confession today is that I am fed up with never feeling as though I am allowed to be stressed or upset. Work, home, health are all suffering at the moment, but I am just expected to suck it up. If one more person says to me 'it could be worse' I might scream. I am silently screaming and unfortunately the pain is beginning to show on my face. I know things could be worse, just doesn't mean that because someone somewhere has it worse than me that I just have to 'be fine' all the time.
Dealing with mixed emotions is so hard - so happy for friends and loved ones who have fantastic things happening, mixed with my grief and sadness for what I am secretly going through. Not wanting to see friends because I don't want to make them miserable mixed with worrying I am not being a good friend by seeing them and sharing in their joys. Or, worse, that I am making them feel guilty for being happy.
Feels better to 'get it out' but I am so sad at the moment and I just wonder when bad things will stop happening!
Your feelings are valid. What you are going through is real and it is difficult for you. We understand and I am sure we have all been there at some point. You ARE allowed to feel this way and you ARE allowed to vent.
Yup. This! Hugs to you.
Coastal (responding to the first post since I never saw it) I feel the same. I pretty much feel like I'm drowning. I'm expected to be the rock for everyone, and most of the time I stoically am. But times like right now, I just want to scream and cry and throw a fit. I want someone to comfort ME and no one is. I'm supposed to hold it together and do 1,000 different things well every day, without fail or exception.
I joke with people a lot that it sucks to be me, because I don't get a "down day", but it's true. I'm expected to be on point 24/7 and I'm struggling. I get the "count your blessings" and "it could be worse" a LOT. Yes, it could be. In the scheme of things, what bothers me could be construed as petty. It doesn't mean it hurts less or I'm less upset. I am grateful for what I have, but aren't I also allowed to be upset too?!
Warning- the below will make me sound like an ungrateful brat. I know this, but they are MY feelings. I'm working on processing them, but it takes time.
I found out on Saturday that good friends of ours (who have 2 boys about the same age as us) are wanting a 3rd. They want to try for a girl. They previously said they were done but the DH changed his mind. I went upstairs and cried. I have wanted 3 kids since I was little. DH said no, 2 was all he could take. He got a vasectomy last Nov so there will only be 2. I agreed because I don't believe in forcing someone to have more kids if they don't want to. I'm not the only one involved in the decision. DH also swore we could look into adopting, which helped ease my feelings about the V.
I have regretted it EVERY DAY since. When I see parents out with 3 or more kids, I'm envious. If one or more is a girl, I am so jealous. I want a daughter. I always have. I love my boys so much, but there is a part of me that will always hurt because I wanted a girl. Both times, the u/s tech told me they were girls and I was blissful for a few weeks until told they were boys. They will never know. I will NEVER tell them they aren't "enough" for me, because they are. I am grateful they are both here and healthy and I would NOT trade them for anything, but I feel a twinge every time I look at a girl or girl baby. DH has also now decided he doesn't want to adopt, so I feel a bit of a pang of "bait and switch" sometimes when I think about it. Mostly I want 3 kids, but not gonna lie, a girl would be awesome.
I feel so alone, because DH is d-o-n-e. 2 is enough for him, he doesn't remotely want a 3rd. Talking to him about it doesn't help, because he has a hard time sympathizing with me. Ok, so he joked around and said I could get a dog to "mother". I agreed. Now last night he is reneging and saying "well, we can get a dog when we get x, y, and z done around the house". This will literally be YEARS. He knows this. Bait and switch #2.
He also said I could look into getting a new car within the month. So I've been plotting out savings, trade-in value, etc. This past weekend he decided nope, my Jeep runs fine for now and maybe we'll think about it in 6 months. Bait and switch #3.
I'm frustrated, I'm sad, I feel like everything I want always comes last after everyone else, and yes I know this is all first world problems, but right now it's rough. On top of it, I'm dieting strictly, so I think I'm just in a funk and crabby from that too. It's the one thing I feel like I'm succeeding at, though, so I don't want to give it up. I have 10.5 lb to go. I'm SO close. I just want to accomplish Something, ya know?
*ok, sorry for the pathetic vent. Carry on*
This doesn't sound like a partnership to me, more like a dictatorship. This would not be OK with me. Hugs to you.
I agree with this statement. Why does he get to make all the decisions? This is not ok. A kid...I get that. Both need to want it. But he is promising things to manipulate you. Time to put your foot down. At a minimum on the car and the dog. Children are a far bigger issue.
I am sorry you are going thru this. 0 -
orangesmartie wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »@coastalpath I’m really sorry you are struggling. If you can, try and carve a few minutes out of each day to look after yourself, whether its some deep breathing/meditation, exercise, a solitary cup of coffee. It is also important that you acknowledge your stress and feelings, don’t squash them away because others think you should. Everything you think and feel is valid to you.
I’m going to check out the fitbit thread in a moment. I’m having a bit of a sucky morning at work.
Totally randomly, as I drove back from Devon last night, I planned what I might have for my wedding reception. Partly inspired by this thread and partly by a comedienne that was on radio 4 (don’t judge) yesterday. Bear in mind my relationship structure means I will never get married, but still, I planned it…
So I’d have an afternoon tea, catered by my favourite Torquay café, with made to order sandwiches (guests choose from a small list of fillings); bread is home made white or granary. A variety of home made scones, with cherry, or ginger, or white choc chips in. Lots of different fruit jams. And huge bowls of clotted cream. There may also be cinnamon toast. And lots of different cakes, like Victoria sponge, lemon drizzle, chocolate brownie. All served with either tea, coffee (from starbucks) or something sparkling, probably Prosecco or Asti (I’m actually a cherry lambrini kind of girl). Set to a background of string quartet music.
And for evening meal I’d have a Chinese buffet, in the style of the Mongolian barbecue restaurant chain (do they have those in the states?) basically, you take your bowl, choose your meat/veg/noodles/cooking sauce, and they cook it on a flat top stove while you wait.
It will be held in a marquee, on the cliff tops, near where I live (in Devon).
I spent nearly 200 miles planning this. I have no idea what I’d be wearing, nor what the ceremony would be like.
Who cares about the ceremony, can I come to your imagined wedding reception for the food? Be a love and make it halal meat, will you?
Done and of course you are invited! the guests will essentially be our families and you guys lololSusieq_1994 wrote: »orangesmartie wrote: »I forgot to mention it's mountain -5 days now!!
My new waterproof gloves arrived today
Yay, countdown time! Are you excited? Or just terrified?
Both!! I'm really looking forward to it, I wanna be there and doing it! I think i feel i'm proving something by doing it. I hope i don't let meself down and look like an....donkey.Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Well. Just got back from the doctors. Saw a different doctor this time. He said NO carbs. Not even yogurt, he said if I don't lose weight on this, we have a serious problem. I asked him if it could be anything else and he said "Well, we could faff around putting you on different diets, but it seems you have put a lot of time and effort into this already so I recommend you go straight to the jugular and cut carbs. It will work, it will always work. It's hard, and it will suck, it will really suck, but you will lose fat." So I went to the nearest bakery, bought myself an apple and raspberry danish (at 9 in the morning) and ate it while driving to work. If I can't have carbs for the next 2 months, I'm going to end it with something amazing. and it was.
Oh, that really stinks. Hope it goes well for you! In his definition of NO carbs, I assume non-starchy veggies are still allowed? I really hope you lose a good amount of weight on this--you've been working SO HARD and not seeing results and I'm sure it's just horribly, awfully frustrating.
... I totally would have done that too. I LOVE danishes.
I don't think they are, he said no root vegetables and no squashes (butternut squash or pumpkin etc). The more I talk about it the harder it becomes. He said no tomato, which pretty much rules out everything. I keep thinking oh well I'll do this and substitute the carbs and then you realise it has a tomato based sauce. It's slowly looking more and more impossible.
Yikes. I couldn't possibly live without tomatoes! So what CAN you eat? 
I'm allergic to tomatoes (and strawberries, raspberries and red peppers) so being tomato free is possible, but requires thought, those suckers are in everything!Susieq_1994 wrote: »Susieq_1994 wrote: »Well. Just got back from the doctors. Saw a different doctor this time. He said NO carbs. Not even yogurt, he said if I don't lose weight on this, we have a serious problem. I asked him if it could be anything else and he said "Well, we could faff around putting you on different diets, but it seems you have put a lot of time and effort into this already so I recommend you go straight to the jugular and cut carbs. It will work, it will always work. It's hard, and it will suck, it will really suck, but you will lose fat." So I went to the nearest bakery, bought myself an apple and raspberry danish (at 9 in the morning) and ate it while driving to work. If I can't have carbs for the next 2 months, I'm going to end it with something amazing. and it was.
Oh, that really stinks. Hope it goes well for you! In his definition of NO carbs, I assume non-starchy veggies are still allowed? I really hope you lose a good amount of weight on this--you've been working SO HARD and not seeing results and I'm sure it's just horribly, awfully frustrating.
... I totally would have done that too. I LOVE danishes.
I don't think they are, he said no root vegetables and no squashes (butternut squash or pumpkin etc). The more I talk about it the harder it becomes. He said no tomato, which pretty much rules out everything. I keep thinking oh well I'll do this and substitute the carbs and then you realise it has a tomato based sauce. It's slowly looking more and more impossible.
Yikes. I couldn't possibly live without tomatoes! So what CAN you eat?
Any meat, fish, salad, vegetables, fruit (but limited) I'm going to have to read up about it. The problem with England is when you go to the doctors, you only get a 10 minute consultation time. (If you're lucky, I know some which are just 5 minutes) so he only had time to explain why I should do it and the science behind it (most of which I can't remember) so when it came to what I can actually eat, I'm not sure. That and I have a stinking cold so I just want to go back to bed right now rather than tackling a whole new eating habit.
You can book a double appointment with your GP (or anyone in the surgery) so you get longer. Also, most practice nurses are better equipped to deal with nutrition advice.
Oh are they? I was considering asking for a nurse at first because I always feel like I'm wasting a doctors time crying because I'm fat and I can't get rid of it. I just keep thinking they have more important things to diagnose than explaining to someone how to lose weight.
sorry to be blunt, but yes they do Most of my job is spent working with primary care clinicians and showing them how to stream line work processes and share workloads with other colleagues to free up their own time. Its about getting the right care, at the time, in the right place, from the right person.
On the other hand, talking to you about your weight and doing something about it likely to reduce your incidence of diabetes, heart disease, and other weight -induced co-morbidities, so it could be considered 10 minutes very well spent!
Have a chat with the receptionist at your surgery (they are the font of all knowledge) and they can book you an appointment with the right person, or they will know if there is a community dietetics service you can contact/be referred to.
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AngryViking1970 wrote: »Holy smokes, you guys! I thought this thread slowed down on the weekends. LOL I have work to do!!! I also have an interview this afternoon for a promotion here, so if you could spare any extra mojo, I'd appreciate it!
*slinks off to catch up*
Sending you whatever mojo I can muster - good luck!
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pofoster21 wrote: »quiksylver296 wrote: »xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »Coastalpath wrote: »This is long so don't expect people to read it - just need to get it out!
Like a lot of other posters here I am going through lots of life stresses at the moment and the last few days have felt very sad, numb and unmotivated. I am ever so slightly eating my feelings 'grief bacon' but am logging it all so I can see it in black and white. My confession today is that I am fed up with never feeling as though I am allowed to be stressed or upset. Work, home, health are all suffering at the moment, but I am just expected to suck it up. If one more person says to me 'it could be worse' I might scream. I am silently screaming and unfortunately the pain is beginning to show on my face. I know things could be worse, just doesn't mean that because someone somewhere has it worse than me that I just have to 'be fine' all the time.
Dealing with mixed emotions is so hard - so happy for friends and loved ones who have fantastic things happening, mixed with my grief and sadness for what I am secretly going through. Not wanting to see friends because I don't want to make them miserable mixed with worrying I am not being a good friend by seeing them and sharing in their joys. Or, worse, that I am making them feel guilty for being happy.
Feels better to 'get it out' but I am so sad at the moment and I just wonder when bad things will stop happening!
Your feelings are valid. What you are going through is real and it is difficult for you. We understand and I am sure we have all been there at some point. You ARE allowed to feel this way and you ARE allowed to vent.
Yup. This! Hugs to you.
Coastal (responding to the first post since I never saw it) I feel the same. I pretty much feel like I'm drowning. I'm expected to be the rock for everyone, and most of the time I stoically am. But times like right now, I just want to scream and cry and throw a fit. I want someone to comfort ME and no one is. I'm supposed to hold it together and do 1,000 different things well every day, without fail or exception.
I joke with people a lot that it sucks to be me, because I don't get a "down day", but it's true. I'm expected to be on point 24/7 and I'm struggling. I get the "count your blessings" and "it could be worse" a LOT. Yes, it could be. In the scheme of things, what bothers me could be construed as petty. It doesn't mean it hurts less or I'm less upset. I am grateful for what I have, but aren't I also allowed to be upset too?!
Warning- the below will make me sound like an ungrateful brat. I know this, but they are MY feelings. I'm working on processing them, but it takes time.
I found out on Saturday that good friends of ours (who have 2 boys about the same age as us) are wanting a 3rd. They want to try for a girl. They previously said they were done but the DH changed his mind. I went upstairs and cried. I have wanted 3 kids since I was little. DH said no, 2 was all he could take. He got a vasectomy last Nov so there will only be 2. I agreed because I don't believe in forcing someone to have more kids if they don't want to. I'm not the only one involved in the decision. DH also swore we could look into adopting, which helped ease my feelings about the V.
I have regretted it EVERY DAY since. When I see parents out with 3 or more kids, I'm envious. If one or more is a girl, I am so jealous. I want a daughter. I always have. I love my boys so much, but there is a part of me that will always hurt because I wanted a girl. Both times, the u/s tech told me they were girls and I was blissful for a few weeks until told they were boys. They will never know. I will NEVER tell them they aren't "enough" for me, because they are. I am grateful they are both here and healthy and I would NOT trade them for anything, but I feel a twinge every time I look at a girl or girl baby. DH has also now decided he doesn't want to adopt, so I feel a bit of a pang of "bait and switch" sometimes when I think about it. Mostly I want 3 kids, but not gonna lie, a girl would be awesome.
I feel so alone, because DH is d-o-n-e. 2 is enough for him, he doesn't remotely want a 3rd. Talking to him about it doesn't help, because he has a hard time sympathizing with me. Ok, so he joked around and said I could get a dog to "mother". I agreed. Now last night he is reneging and saying "well, we can get a dog when we get x, y, and z done around the house". This will literally be YEARS. He knows this. Bait and switch #2.
He also said I could look into getting a new car within the month. So I've been plotting out savings, trade-in value, etc. This past weekend he decided nope, my Jeep runs fine for now and maybe we'll think about it in 6 months. Bait and switch #3.
I'm frustrated, I'm sad, I feel like everything I want always comes last after everyone else, and yes I know this is all first world problems, but right now it's rough. On top of it, I'm dieting strictly, so I think I'm just in a funk and crabby from that too. It's the one thing I feel like I'm succeeding at, though, so I don't want to give it up. I have 10.5 lb to go. I'm SO close. I just want to accomplish Something, ya know?
*ok, sorry for the pathetic vent. Carry on*
This doesn't sound like a partnership to me, more like a dictatorship. This would not be OK with me. Hugs to you.
I agree with this statement. Why does he get to make all the decisions? This is not ok. A kid...I get that. Both need to want it. But he is promising things to manipulate you. Time to put your foot down. At a minimum on the car and the dog. Children are a far bigger issue.
I am sorry you are going thru this.
This is what I wanted to say, but I just didn't know how to word it. I hope that the pair of you can work together so you can get some of the things you want too!0 -
Confession: It was my sister's birthday this weekend, and we had ice cream cake for her yesterday. I just dug in with a fork once everyone else was done, and I regret nothing! I'd just finished a 6 hour round trip hike up a mountain with a 970m elevation gain in 31 degree Celsius weather and I was starving. I've been trying mindful eating for the past few days, with a fair bit of success, but that completely went out the window yesterday.0
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Confession: It was my sister's birthday this weekend, and we had ice cream cake for her yesterday. I just dug in with a fork once everyone else was done, and I regret nothing! I'd just finished a 6 hour round trip hike up a mountain with a 970m elevation gain in 31 degree Celsius weather and I was starving. I've been trying mindful eating for the past few days, with a fair bit of success, but that completely went out the window yesterday.
I would say after doing a mountain hike you certainly earned it!!0 -
TigerNY128 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Okay, no one really took me up on our daily motivation, but I am going to go ahead and share progress anyway.
Steps: 19, 903 (vs. 25K goal) due to rain and help at barn, as I didn't do quite as much walking as I might normally due as I had help. +
Never got to my run. I had forgotten my shoes so had clothes but no shoes at barn. So had to come home (kiss of death) and try to motivate myself. Well, after eating, and dealing with a washing machine mess (standing water due to clogged filter from washing bathroom mat that disintegrated) it was 10:00. I just couldn't get myself out then. +
No alcohol +
Did not work on dissertation. For the above reasons.
So not great. Today:
Flying to Dallas on a 6:40 flight (hence being up so early) for a meeting. So... this is really going to be a challenge but going to try to:
Walk 10K
Run 1 hour
Work in dissertation (I will use the plane trip to read some articles I have lined up for my literature review)
No alcohol (this will also be challenging as I am going out with some of my team for 'drinks' as I am in Dallas and we don't see each other much.
So...on 3 hours sleep off I go. I'll probably check in at airport, etc. Have a great day all.
Have a safe trip!!
I was going to take you up on this yesterday but every time I tried to post mfp decided it didn't like me.
Today I'm aiming for:
7,000 steps (it's low but between Saturday and Sunday I did close to 27,000 which is a new record for me)
No alcohol
Get half my long to do list done at work since it's a holiday Wednesday and its month end.
@Glinda1971 Are you in finance, by any chance? I am....next week is our month end. And quarter close. I dread it every month.
I am - I'm the office manager and financial controller (fancy title) for a smallish company. With a boss who loves excel spreadsheets and reports on almost every number imaginable.0 -
Susieq_1994 wrote: »I've had an interesting challenge handed to me!
I've been pestering my husband and telling him that I want a Fitbit, because I think it'll motivate me to move around more so I can "win" steps and calories. He thinks it's an unnecessary fitness gadget, and that I should probably just move around more by myself.
So, to motivate me a little (since I've been struggling a lot lately, as you all know, and he's been trying to find ways to help me with it) he gave me a challenge: If I can get my weight down to 65 kg by my birthday, he'll buy me a Fitbit. I'm currently at 69.3, and my birthday is on the eighth of October, which means I have 3.5 months to lose 4.3 kilos--very doable.
So, by putting it out here, I'm hoping you guys will help me stay accountable so I can win myself a Fitbit for my birthday! (He'd probably buy it for me anyway, but I really want to win this challenge.)
I always knew we were kindred spirits @Susieq_1994 I'm an October baby as well lol
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