Confession Time! ((ABSOLUTELY NO JUDGEMENT))
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quiksylver296 wrote: »One full work day left until I am headed toward the beach!!! Noon tomorrow! The clock cannot go any slower...
Cover the clock! That's what I used to do because I swear I would check it every 2 seconds and it made it soooo much worse!0 -
spacequiztime wrote: »
Wow, that really looks like fun! Was that a water park?kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »CountessKitteh wrote: »I'm almost 30 pages behind (largely avoided my laptop this weekend and was off today) but I'm still alive!
NSV: Put on a shirt today that I wore on vacation two years ago. The difference is huge, and that was such a great motivation boost!
Sweeet! Congrats! My NSV this weekend was going to the amusement park and not having to skip rides or sit in the XL seating, if available. I was able to ride rides that I had not since 2013. Rides that I also could not fit their restraints even just a few months ago. Made me feel really good!
Great NSVs!
Which ride did you enjoy the most?
My fav is the 300 ft Drop Tower. But the Dale Earnhardt Intimidator is the best coaster there. Sooo fast and smooth.
(Taken 4th of July before the fireworks)
Yikes that looks so freaky!
This ride in Hawaii freaked me out!
My sister & I were on a raft & I was around 300 at the time & was sitting on the side they pushed. My mom said we came pretty close to flying off the ride.
The only rides I pretty much despise are the ones that go around in circles or upside down a lot.
@LBuehrle8 Fire ants are one of the few insects I won't tolerate. Stingy little invasive species.
Yeah it's the only amusement park they have in Oahu.
https://www.wetnwildhawaii.com/
After we got off that ride none of the other family members wanted to ride it. At least if we would've flew off the ride we would've landed in the wave pool right beside it.0 -
Thanks for the well wishes, everyone. I have to admit that part of the frustration is that I'm really ticked off at myself for getting sick in the first place. I've had this disorder for the better part of three years, and living with a chronic disease long-term means you learn how to manage it well (as I'm sure @Italian_Buju can attest to) or you're doomed. I learned all the little nuances and whispers of my body and when to stop and take it easy. But after a six month respite from any sort of flares, I got overconfident and stopped paying attention.
In hindsight, as an ill person, I KNEW and still know that I'm not capable of 60 minutes of stationary bike PLUS 36 flights of stairs PLUS a one hour walk, especially not when I'm fasting, which makes me much more prone to weakness. But I did that TWO DAYS IN A ROW without even thinking about it. So this flare up is all my stupid fault, and I'm pretty mad at me. I'm also mad at my body for not being healthy, which is a common resentment I have that always comes to the fore when I get sick. Stupid body, stupid me, stupid everything.
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pofoster21 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »I would refuse to eat certain foods as a kid. My father would not allow me to leave the table. After 2 or 3 hours my mother would come in and BEG me to eat. Nope. No way. To this day I won't eat the exact same foods.
So, what are the foods that you won't eat? As kids we had to eat a couple bites of everything, I now do the same thing to my kids. I think it made me more willing to try new foods. The only foods, that I can think of right now, that I won't eat are cooked carrots (unless they are mixed in something like vegetable soup), lima beans, and brussel sprouts. I'm also not a huge fan of melon, in general, but I'll eat it if I have to.
For years I wouldn't eat any cooked vegetables except corn, carrots, potatoes and peas. Now I'll eat eggplant, zucchini, peppers and spinach - all foods my dad hates and therefore were never forced on me as a child.
I hate cooked carrots, peas, eggplant, tomatoes, zucchini, and summer squash ... the list goes on. I can tolerate carrots and tomatoes raw. I don't like mushy vegetables.
I also hate cooked carrots & the only way I'll eat them is either with a ton of salad dressing or some other kind of dip! We had to eat them a lot with beef & potatoes.
The only other vegetables I despise are kale (the most disgusting thing ever) & brussels sprouts.0 -
Speaking of @Italian_Buju anyone seen/heard from her lately? I feel like I haven't seen her post at all the past couple days and I know she's good about popping in to give us updates0
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pofoster21 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »I would refuse to eat certain foods as a kid. My father would not allow me to leave the table. After 2 or 3 hours my mother would come in and BEG me to eat. Nope. No way. To this day I won't eat the exact same foods.
So, what are the foods that you won't eat? As kids we had to eat a couple bites of everything, I now do the same thing to my kids. I think it made me more willing to try new foods. The only foods, that I can think of right now, that I won't eat are cooked carrots (unless they are mixed in something like vegetable soup), lima beans, and brussel sprouts. I'm also not a huge fan of melon, in general, but I'll eat it if I have to.
Ironically, I just posted this but its all mushy vegetables. Carrots, peas, most beans, zucchini, summer squash, egg plant, etc. Literally just makes me gag. When I would finally give in I would hold my nose, toss it all the way to the back of my throat so it didn't touch my tongue, and choke it down with milk. When I could get away with it, I would sneak it under the table and feed to the dog. Or spit it into my napkin, ask to be excused to go to the bathroom and flush it down the toilet. In the summer I would ask to eat outside, and toss it over the backyard fence. Eventually I usually got caught.
LOL @ flushing it down the commode! That's genius!0 -
@pofoster21 you are wonder woman good luck doing the Iron man!!0
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Speaking of @Italian_Buju anyone seen/heard from her lately? I feel like I haven't seen her post at all the past couple days and I know she's good about popping in to give us updates
She's been around in the Fitbit thread in the Batcave, but seems to be avoiding us here lately. Not sure why. :-/0 -
kelly_c_77 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »Thinking of foregoing my planned meals to eat Ramen noodles and Pop Tarts at work today.
People were talking about Ramen noodles the other day and now I'm craving them. I haven't eaten them since I was pregnant with my son 8 years ago. And no, I'm not pregnant! The factory is closed!
I loved them so much in college. I used to cook them, then drain them and then mix in the seasoning as it made it that much more intense. I tried them probably 15 years ago again...ICK! So salty and just not my thing anymore. Same with Kraft macaroni and cheese (which we have talked about before).
My husband still loves them for a fast snack (he just microwaves them). I used to like them and would drain almost all of the water too. I've also skipped the seasoning packet and done minced garlic, peanut butter, and soy sauce for a makeshift peanut sauce...throw some veggies in (usually used peas) ..not bad. Haven't had them in forever but thinking of doing that again soon.
I found these recipes on Pinterest (haven't tried any of them) for ramen noodles
http://greatist.com/eat/healthier-ramen-recipes0 -
quiksylver296 wrote: »One full work day left until I am headed toward the beach!!! Noon tomorrow! The clock cannot go any slower...
Hope you have a fabulous time!! Are you going to be gone all next week?0 -
Thanks for the thoughts on maintaining. I'm another who will probably have to keep logging in some way in order to keep the weight off. I find that a bit depressing, but I guess the idea of yoyo-ing for the rest of my life is worse.
Count me in as another who will have to keep tracking for life on at least here or paper. My lowest weight was around 146-147 but I got to that weight by more or less falling into a binge & restrict cycle. I maintained 153 for a long time & now I'm around 155-160 (had another binge on Monday so not really sure at the moment). I think what's throwing me off is trying to pick a maintenance calorie amount & then deciding to lose more weight. I'm at the point now I'm just going to pick 155 as my goal weight & put that amount in Scooby's & eat that maintenance calorie amount.
Sorry for the rambles.0 -
Ugg, that sucks. It's hot down here, but it isn't like a few weeks ago with nonstop rain. I wish the rain would just go to California or something for a while!OMG guys, I've gotten behind and I just can't catch up/keep up with you guys! I'm sure that I've missed lots of important things lately - I'll try to catch up with you all as soon as I can!
As for me, I've been stressing myself out the past couple of weeks. Work has been insanely busy all of a sudden (and with ill-defined/scoped projects, which has made things stressful). I've been focusing too much on calories, and that's been getting to my head. And the wedding planning... let's just say that we are on track to send out the invitations this weekend, and after that I plan to think about NOTHING wedding related for just a week. That includes ignoring phone calls from family that are bound to be nothing but wedding related - love them all, but need some space. I should have eloped.
Otherwise, if it would just stop raining here, I'd be much happier. We've had rain of some quantity everyday for the last 40 days, and when it isn't raining it's miserably hot and humid. I just want to go out hiking and de-stress a bit without the dog getting completely disgusting in the mud, that's not too much to ask right?
Ok, complaining done for the day. Promise! Now I'm off to try to read backwards and see what you all have been up to!
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Patting myself on the back this afternoon. Went out for lunch with friends and looked up calories on a couple things and decided what I was going to have...which I've done in the past and then still not ordered the predetermined meal. I ordered the fajitas and soup combo and didn't eat the tortillas so probably about 650ish calories!!0
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AngryViking1970 wrote: »kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »May not be appropriate for @Susieq_1994!
Confession: I found out last night that a friend I used to work with has just been charged with second-degree murder of his wife, who has been missing since November. I'm having a hard time and am absolutely shocked, and still don't really believe it, even though the police quotes say he's been concealing the body at his home for the past 8 months. It just doesn't seem to compute at all against the person I remember.
This is just horrible. How do people do that? How do people not SMELL the decaying body?
They do smell it and they end up telling the police later that they felt bad for the guy or didn't really think anything of it because he is so nice! Like what happened with John Wayne Gacy.
Ahhh don't get me started on JWG!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorothea_Puente
This lady was an older serial killer & she basically had a room in her house that they dubbed the killing room. She would board people that had mental, drug, or other issues & then steal their social security. Whenever they would figure out what she was doing she would murder them & then have the other tenants basically do "yard work" which more or less was graves for bodies.
I've seen a few specials on her! She's been on a few different shows on the Investigation Discovery channel! People are insane!
Yes. And this may have come up before, but I love ID. It's my "home alone" channel because my husband thinks it's creepy. LOL
I love the ID Channel. My stepdad always tells my mom that she watches it so she can learn how to murder him. The one day I had it on & my dog was sitting there watching it & I couldn't help but think that she'll murder me in my sleep.
It would appear on an episode Cold Case Files: The Murderous Dog0 -
xLoveLikeWinterx wrote: »kelly_c_77 wrote: »lilaclovebird wrote: »Coastalpath wrote: »This is long so don't expect people to read it - just need to get it out!
Like a lot of other posters here I am going through lots of life stresses at the moment and the last few days have felt very sad, numb and unmotivated. I am ever so slightly eating my feelings 'grief bacon' but am logging it all so I can see it in black and white. My confession today is that I am fed up with never feeling as though I am allowed to be stressed or upset. Work, home, health are all suffering at the moment, but I am just expected to suck it up. If one more person says to me 'it could be worse' I might scream. I am silently screaming and unfortunately the pain is beginning to show on my face. I know things could be worse, just doesn't mean that because someone somewhere has it worse than me that I just have to 'be fine' all the time.
Dealing with mixed emotions is so hard - so happy for friends and loved ones who have fantastic things happening, mixed with my grief and sadness for what I am secretly going through. Not wanting to see friends because I don't want to make them miserable mixed with worrying I am not being a good friend by seeing them and sharing in their joys. Or, worse, that I am making them feel guilty for being happy.
Feels better to 'get it out' but I am so sad at the moment and I just wonder when bad things will stop happening!
Your feelings are valid. What you are going through is real and it is difficult for you. We understand and I am sure we have all been there at some point. You ARE allowed to feel this way and you ARE allowed to vent.
Yup. This! Hugs to you.
Coastal (responding to the first post since I never saw it) I feel the same. I pretty much feel like I'm drowning. I'm expected to be the rock for everyone, and most of the time I stoically am. But times like right now, I just want to scream and cry and throw a fit. I want someone to comfort ME and no one is. I'm supposed to hold it together and do 1,000 different things well every day, without fail or exception.
I joke with people a lot that it sucks to be me, because I don't get a "down day", but it's true. I'm expected to be on point 24/7 and I'm struggling. I get the "count your blessings" and "it could be worse" a LOT. Yes, it could be. In the scheme of things, what bothers me could be construed as petty. It doesn't mean it hurts less or I'm less upset. I am grateful for what I have, but aren't I also allowed to be upset too?!
Warning- the below will make me sound like an ungrateful brat. I know this, but they are MY feelings. I'm working on processing them, but it takes time.
I found out on Saturday that good friends of ours (who have 2 boys about the same age as us) are wanting a 3rd. They want to try for a girl. They previously said they were done but the DH changed his mind. I went upstairs and cried. I have wanted 3 kids since I was little. DH said no, 2 was all he could take. He got a vasectomy last Nov so there will only be 2. I agreed because I don't believe in forcing someone to have more kids if they don't want to. I'm not the only one involved in the decision. DH also swore we could look into adopting, which helped ease my feelings about the V.
I have regretted it EVERY DAY since. When I see parents out with 3 or more kids, I'm envious. If one or more is a girl, I am so jealous. I want a daughter. I always have. I love my boys so much, but there is a part of me that will always hurt because I wanted a girl. Both times, the u/s tech told me they were girls and I was blissful for a few weeks until told they were boys. They will never know. I will NEVER tell them they aren't "enough" for me, because they are. I am grateful they are both here and healthy and I would NOT trade them for anything, but I feel a twinge every time I look at a girl or girl baby. DH has also now decided he doesn't want to adopt, so I feel a bit of a pang of "bait and switch" sometimes when I think about it. Mostly I want 3 kids, but not gonna lie, a girl would be awesome.
I feel so alone, because DH is d-o-n-e. 2 is enough for him, he doesn't remotely want a 3rd. Talking to him about it doesn't help, because he has a hard time sympathizing with me. Ok, so he joked around and said I could get a dog to "mother". I agreed. Now last night he is reneging and saying "well, we can get a dog when we get x, y, and z done around the house". This will literally be YEARS. He knows this. Bait and switch #2.
He also said I could look into getting a new car within the month. So I've been plotting out savings, trade-in value, etc. This past weekend he decided nope, my Jeep runs fine for now and maybe we'll think about it in 6 months. Bait and switch #3.
I'm frustrated, I'm sad, I feel like everything I want always comes last after everyone else, and yes I know this is all first world problems, but right now it's rough. On top of it, I'm dieting strictly, so I think I'm just in a funk and crabby from that too. It's the one thing I feel like I'm succeeding at, though, so I don't want to give it up. I have 10.5 lb to go. I'm SO close. I just want to accomplish Something, ya know?
*ok, sorry for the pathetic vent. Carry on*
I'm sorry, that must be tough.
Mr. Mo has wanted to have another kid pretty much since Rachael was born. I never wanted to have kids (didn't have the best childhood) when we got married, so having one was more than enough for me. Plus, I was in labor for 27 hours and still ended up having an emergency C-section. The thought of having to go through that again, was too much for me.
While we were on vacation, he asked me why we never had another kid because it makes him sad when he sees a family with a couple kids strolling down the beach or sitting together at a restaurant. I didn't really have a great answer besides the ones mentioned above, and I feel guilty for not having more of his babies (we make beautiful kids
). Now, we're both in our late 30's and as far as I'm concerned, that ship has sailed, especially with all the SD drama. But I still feel bad for him, but not bad enough to want to have another kid. 
When I married my husband, I had one son and he had three daughters. We never thought of having kids and felt we had enough. I got a dog for our first anniversary; she was our kid . Well fast forward a few years and surprise! at 39 I was pregnant. We weren't trying or trying to avoid it, just happened. I had her after I turned 40. I knew I was done after that, so got that factory shut down. You never know. We love her just as much as any of the others and don't regret a minute of it. After that, his oldest daughter, who is in her 20's, had a little girl about 15 months after we had Olivia. Crazy stuff.
ETA: I put up a pic of little bit on the random pics thread.
I got a puppy for our 1st anniversary too! And I had a baby 1 month after my 40th birthday. We were definitely trying tho. I'm pretty sure we're done. My husband is content with just one but I think his reasoning has to do with how much daycare costs. I would love to have another but I think my age is a problem. Of course the doctor says it's still possible.
Nowadays we seem to be having kids later in life. Lots of OBs treat us the same as a younger ladies, as long as there are no known genetic or physical issues. I just don't have the energy plus I want to be able to do the couples only vacation before I retire. I am already pushing that one!0 -
kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »raelynnsmama52512 wrote: »This sums up today. Just when I was feeling somewhat normal....
Don't beat yourself up for going over your calories & I am sorry to hear they won't offer Raelynn help:(. Is there any other channels you can go through to get Raelynn the help she needs?
Has she had anymore triumphs with the potty lately?
Thank you! ❤️
Her doctor gave me some information on some other options until we can get everything else figured out.
She hasn't used the potty since that one time. It's almost like that scared her because now she won't even go near it, her doctor told me yesterday not to even bother with it right now because she isn't ready for that yet and trying to push something that big on her can really make her anxiety worse. So for now, we're leaving things as they are and not changing anything big for her.
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Great! You picked two good flavors too.kelly_c_77 wrote: »So many things to comment on, I've lost track..
@orangesmartie, I support you and your relationship and find it very interesting to hear about. I totally rooting for you guys to all get on the same page! Hope it happens soon!
@LH85DC, take a break...relax and get back to it when you are ready!
I love roller coaster and amusement park rides...but I can't help but think about bad things happening almost the entire time I'm riding them...I'm a worry wart...but still love them!
You guys can be happy that you'll never have to hear me talk about my Blizzard situation again after this post because I got them both today...one brownie batter and one reeses pb cup...I ate them both...for lunch. I am 69 calories in the red but after my walk this afternoon and running around outside with my son, I will have earned enough calories for a light dinner. No regrets!
I know I'm forgetting to comment on other stuff...???
Glad to hear you're starting to improve a bit @Susieq_1994 !
Very sorry to hear about your daughter @raelynnsmama52512 . The thought of a kid that young not even being able to sleep well just depresses me. You are handling this as well as one can.
I'm also very sorry to hear about those of you that have miscarried. I still remember when the oldest sister in the family lost her first. She's went from a very loud, in your face type of person to a very reserved person until she got pregnant again.
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kellyjellybellyjelly wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »Glinda1971 wrote: »kellienw335 wrote: »pofoster21 wrote: »I would refuse to eat certain foods as a kid. My father would not allow me to leave the table. After 2 or 3 hours my mother would come in and BEG me to eat. Nope. No way. To this day I won't eat the exact same foods.
So, what are the foods that you won't eat? As kids we had to eat a couple bites of everything, I now do the same thing to my kids. I think it made me more willing to try new foods. The only foods, that I can think of right now, that I won't eat are cooked carrots (unless they are mixed in something like vegetable soup), lima beans, and brussel sprouts. I'm also not a huge fan of melon, in general, but I'll eat it if I have to.
For years I wouldn't eat any cooked vegetables except corn, carrots, potatoes and peas. Now I'll eat eggplant, zucchini, peppers and spinach - all foods my dad hates and therefore were never forced on me as a child.
I hate cooked carrots, peas, eggplant, tomatoes, zucchini, and summer squash ... the list goes on. I can tolerate carrots and tomatoes raw. I don't like mushy vegetables.
I also hate cooked carrots & the only way I'll eat them is either with a ton of salad dressing or some other kind of dip! We had to eat them a lot with beef & potatoes.
The only other vegetables I despise are kale (the most disgusting thing ever) & brussels sprouts.
Not a huge fan of carrots in general..but would definitely prefer them raw!! I do love brussel sprouts though! Steamed with vinegar poured on top or even just plain steamed.0 -
berlynnwall wrote: »FluffySandwich wrote: »
I feel like I MIGHT be able to get some idea of an exact location if I always stand in the kitchen on the lookout, but sometimes these sounds are hours apart. Still going on today and they didn't happen before we went to Punta Cana. My boyfriend keeps saying that there might be a rat in the wall or something and I hope that's not the case.FluffySandwich wrote: »I'm almost done with Survivor 29 and I am really upset by the final three. One of them I like ok (and I think for sure is going to win), the other two I never really liked... and the person I wanted to win got voted out in fourth place. ARGH. Hate it when that happens.
On another note, I keep hearing some weird sound coming from my kitchen and I'm not sure what it could be. I told my boyfriend our apartment must be haunted or something. It almost sounds like some water is splashing on the floor violently, but I can't find anything wrong. We recently had an ant infestation so maybe a big ant is making noise in our wall as revenge for our ant murder.
Creepy. I hope you can figure out what it is. If you do, let us know.
Back in about 2009 or 2010, we had a few months were my whole family was experiencing weird things (in different locations) that I've never been able to explain to this day. It was really weird... I felt like we were all haunted for a while too.
I heard that your dreams get extra crazy when you're pregnant. I love dreams and keep a dream diary on my computer. Last night I dreamed that I had something stuck in my teeth... and I finally managed to pull it out- a long string of spaghetti. Then more and more kept coming, so it turns out I had like 20 strings of spaghetti stuck in that spot between my teeth. It was kind of freaky for some reason.FluffySandwich wrote: »Congrats @bkhamill !!!
I confess that I am only 21 years old and don't think I'm ready to have a baby by any means, but sometimes I have dreams that I am very pregnant or have an infant and wake up feeling strangely empty, confused, and sad. Any one else do this? Or did this?
I used to have those all the time in my early 20s. Now I actually am pregnant, my dreams have been completely devoid of anything baby-related. Funny how the brain works. I did dream my mattress was made of cheese the other night. I had to lie really still and evenly to avoid crumbling it!
For me, that was absolutely true. My dreams were much more vivid, and weird as all get out. Has anyone read Anne Rice's witch series? Before I found out I was pregnant with my son, I had a dream that I gave birth to a fully grown man (like in those books). Seriously creepy.
Like the episode in The Cosby Show were the guys delivered things like a sub & boat.
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kellienw335 wrote: »Patting myself on the back this afternoon. Went out for lunch with friends and looked up calories on a couple things and decided what I was going to have...which I've done in the past and then still not ordered the predetermined meal. I ordered the fajitas and soup combo and didn't eat the tortillas so probably about 650ish calories!!
Good job!0
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