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Should your S.O./Spouse have a say so if they feel you are too thin or too large?

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Replies

  • heiliskrimsli
    heiliskrimsli Posts: 735 Member
    Medicine and bed rest cannot make you gain weight in a vacuum. If you over eat, you gain weight. Pregnancy is also not a reason to gain excessive amounts of weight. Being pregnant does not mean eating for two, either.

    There is one reason why people become overweight or obese. That reason is always excessive caloric intake, and it is never something that happens to an adult (absent developmental issues like Downs or Prader-Willi) in a vacuum without the active participation of the person gaining the weight. Nobody gets fat against their own will.

    You sound so dreamy. *swoon*

    I am cold and I am hard and my name is...
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,647 Member
    Golbat wrote: »
    You have to eat a certain amount of food when you're pregnant. If you are taking medicine that slows your metabolism, and you are on bed rest, you might gain weight. It isn't a sign of weakness or laziness to do so. Pregnant women in situations like my friend are given diets they have to follow so it isn't even up to them what they eat. If you were a doctor, you'd understand that you can't restrict calories too much when pregnant, especially if you are in a high risk pregnancy.

    So much this. *smh*
  • heiliskrimsli
    heiliskrimsli Posts: 735 Member
    Golbat wrote: »
    You have to eat a certain amount of food when you're pregnant. If you are taking medicine that slows your metabolism, and you are on bed rest, you might gain weight. It isn't a sign of weakness or laziness to do so. Pregnant women in situations like my friend are given diets they have to follow so it isn't even up to them what they eat. If you were a doctor, you'd understand that you can't restrict calories too much when pregnant, especially if you are in a high risk pregnancy.

    The additional calorie needs during pregnancy are (above maintenance level when not pregnant)
    • The first trimester does not require any extra calories.
    • During the second trimester, an additional 340 calories a day are recommended.
    • For the third trimester, the recommendation is 450 calories more a day than when not pregnant.

    Source

    If your activity level is reduced due to bed rest, your TDEE and therefore your maintenance level is lower, which means the total calorie intake even with the extra requirements is lower than it would be for someone who is more active. That absolutely can be controlled for, and I don't know a single doctor who advises uncontrolled eating or weight gain during pregnancy especially in cases with complications.

    While your friend may have been given a specific list of foods she should eat (what to eat), that doesn't preclude eating too much of those things, or of exceeding a reasonable calorie intake by adding additional other foods not on the list to those items.

    Pregnancy, even one involving bed rest, is not a magical reason to pack on unlimited pounds.
  • Gallowmere1984
    Gallowmere1984 Posts: 6,626 Member
    Golbat wrote: »
    You have to eat a certain amount of food when you're pregnant. If you are taking medicine that slows your metabolism, and you are on bed rest, you might gain weight. It isn't a sign of weakness or laziness to do so. Pregnant women in situations like my friend are given diets they have to follow so it isn't even up to them what they eat. If you were a doctor, you'd understand that you can't restrict calories too much when pregnant, especially if you are in a high risk pregnancy.

    The additional calorie needs during pregnancy are (above maintenance level when not pregnant)
    • The first trimester does not require any extra calories.
    • During the second trimester, an additional 340 calories a day are recommended.
    • For the third trimester, the recommendation is 450 calories more a day than when not pregnant.

    Source

    If your activity level is reduced due to bed rest, your TDEE and therefore your maintenance level is lower, which means the total calorie intake even with the extra requirements is lower than it would be for someone who is more active. That absolutely can be controlled for, and I don't know a single doctor who advises uncontrolled eating or weight gain during pregnancy especially in cases with complications.

    While your friend may have been given a specific list of foods she should eat (what to eat), that doesn't preclude eating too much of those things, or of exceeding a reasonable calorie intake by adding additional other foods not on the list to those items.

    Pregnancy, even one involving bed rest, is not a magical reason to pack on unlimited pounds.

    At least one other person gets it.

    I have met one woman over the years who was willing to acknowledge and admit that she was being a glutton while pregnant. She was an amateur model, so to quote her "I spend crazy amounts of time having to worry about my weight and figure. I'm taking full advantage of this crap and shoving everything in my face that I can keep down." Within three months she was back to pre-pregnancy weight, even though she was intentionally and consciously eating waaaaaay more than she needed to during the process. I'm halfway convinced that she was subconsciously restricting her intake, even though she consciously was trying to eat all of the things.
  • heiliskrimsli
    heiliskrimsli Posts: 735 Member
    Golbat wrote: »
    Have you actually asked doctors what they recommend to eat during high risk pregnancies? She wasn't eating in an uncontrolled manner, and I didn't say she was. She was eating enough to gain some weight, and with two pregnancies one after the other she gained a bit. Not "unlimited pounds" but enough to notice. Women do often put on weight during pregnancy. Particularly high risk pregnancies. She has since lost the weight but she had some weight gain with those two pregnancies one after the other.

    A normal weight woman should gain up to 25 pounds during pregnancy. Much more than that and it's excessive.
    If your expectation is that women shouldn't gain weight during pregnancies, your will indeed go from one relationship to another during your lifetime, and you will have some child support payments to plan for.

    Your assumptions are laughable.
  • STLBADGIRL
    STLBADGIRL Posts: 1,693 Member
    Golbat wrote: »
    Have you actually asked doctors what they recommend to eat during high risk pregnancies? She wasn't eating in an uncontrolled manner, and I didn't say she was. She was eating enough to gain some weight, and with two pregnancies one after the other she gained a bit. Not "unlimited pounds" but enough to notice. Women do often put on weight during pregnancy. Particularly high risk pregnancies. She has since lost the weight but she had some weight gain with those two pregnancies one after the other.

    A normal weight woman should gain up to 25 pounds during pregnancy. Much more than that and it's excessive.
    If your expectation is that women shouldn't gain weight during pregnancies, your will indeed go from one relationship to another during your lifetime, and you will have some child support payments to plan for.

    Your assumptions are laughable.

    As are yours. :laugh:

    Agreed!
  • heiliskrimsli
    heiliskrimsli Posts: 735 Member
    Golbat wrote: »

    Your assumptions are laughable.

    I was going to say this to you.
    Golbat wrote: »
    Have you actually asked doctors what they recommend to eat during high risk pregnancies? She wasn't eating in an uncontrolled manner, and I didn't say she was. She was eating enough to gain some weight, and with two pregnancies one after the other she gained a bit. Not "unlimited pounds" but enough to notice. Women do often put on weight during pregnancy. Particularly high risk pregnancies. She has since lost the weight but she had some weight gain with those two pregnancies one after the other.

    A normal weight woman should gain up to 25 pounds during pregnancy. Much more than that and it's excessive.
    If your expectation is that women shouldn't gain weight during pregnancies, your will indeed go from one relationship to another during your lifetime, and you will have some child support payments to plan for.

    Your assumptions are laughable.

    As are yours. :laugh:

    I provided a citation regarding pregnancy weight gain, and got back the assumption that I am a shallow man who is irresponsible with birth control.

    Seems so reasonable.
  • Golbat
    Golbat Posts: 276 Member
    I'm not that impressed by Dr. Google citations from a search engine that is not familiar (and was probably not asked) about the myriad of complications that can go along with pregnancy.
  • heiliskrimsli
    heiliskrimsli Posts: 735 Member
    edited April 2017
    pinuplove wrote: »
    Golbat wrote: »
    You have to eat a certain amount of food when you're pregnant. If you are taking medicine that slows your metabolism, and you are on bed rest, you might gain weight. It isn't a sign of weakness or laziness to do so. Pregnant women in situations like my friend are given diets they have to follow so it isn't even up to them what they eat. If you were a doctor, you'd understand that you can't restrict calories too much when pregnant, especially if you are in a high risk pregnancy.

    The additional calorie needs during pregnancy are (above maintenance level when not pregnant)
    • The first trimester does not require any extra calories.
    • During the second trimester, an additional 340 calories a day are recommended.
    • For the third trimester, the recommendation is 450 calories more a day than when not pregnant.

    Source

    If your activity level is reduced due to bed rest, your TDEE and therefore your maintenance level is lower, which means the total calorie intake even with the extra requirements is lower than it would be for someone who is more active. That absolutely can be controlled for, and I don't know a single doctor who advises uncontrolled eating or weight gain during pregnancy especially in cases with complications.

    While your friend may have been given a specific list of foods she should eat (what to eat), that doesn't preclude eating too much of those things, or of exceeding a reasonable calorie intake by adding additional other foods not on the list to those items.

    Pregnancy, even one involving bed rest, is not a magical reason to pack on unlimited pounds.

    That's all well and good until you're so sick 24/7 that you want to die and the only thing that holds the nausea back is nibbling on saltine crackers and sipping ginger ale. Yes, it is possible to gain weight with morning sickness. But that doesn't file well under your 'this is the one true way' philosophy. Nor do any number of other crazy things that happen when one is growing a person.

    Could you explain to me the metabolic process by which vomiting causes weight gain?


    Golbat wrote: »
    I'm not that impressed by Dr. Google citations from a search engine that is not familiar (and was probably not asked) about the myriad of complications that can go along with pregnancy.

    How about The US National Library of Medicine?.

    Are they qualified enough for you?
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,903 Member
    pinuplove wrote: »
    Golbat wrote: »
    You have to eat a certain amount of food when you're pregnant. If you are taking medicine that slows your metabolism, and you are on bed rest, you might gain weight. It isn't a sign of weakness or laziness to do so. Pregnant women in situations like my friend are given diets they have to follow so it isn't even up to them what they eat. If you were a doctor, you'd understand that you can't restrict calories too much when pregnant, especially if you are in a high risk pregnancy.

    The additional calorie needs during pregnancy are (above maintenance level when not pregnant)
    • The first trimester does not require any extra calories.
    • During the second trimester, an additional 340 calories a day are recommended.
    • For the third trimester, the recommendation is 450 calories more a day than when not pregnant.

    Source

    If your activity level is reduced due to bed rest, your TDEE and therefore your maintenance level is lower, which means the total calorie intake even with the extra requirements is lower than it would be for someone who is more active. That absolutely can be controlled for, and I don't know a single doctor who advises uncontrolled eating or weight gain during pregnancy especially in cases with complications.

    While your friend may have been given a specific list of foods she should eat (what to eat), that doesn't preclude eating too much of those things, or of exceeding a reasonable calorie intake by adding additional other foods not on the list to those items.

    Pregnancy, even one involving bed rest, is not a magical reason to pack on unlimited pounds.

    That's all well and good until you're so sick 24/7 that you want to die and the only thing that holds the nausea back is nibbling on saltine crackers and sipping ginger ale. Yes, it is possible to gain weight with morning sickness. But that doesn't file well under your 'this is the one true way' philosophy. Nor do any number of other crazy things that happen when one is growing a person.

    Could you explain to me the metabolic process by which vomiting causes weight gain?


    Golbat wrote: »
    I'm not that impressed by Dr. Google citations from a search engine that is not familiar (and was probably not asked) about the myriad of complications that can go along with pregnancy.

    How about The US National Library of Medicine?.

    Are they qualified enough for you?

    Some women experience ongoing nausea without vomiting. I vomited a total of 1 time in 2 pregnancies.